10
TTTE aiORyiNG OREGOXIAX, WEDNESDAY, MAT 18, 1910.
FOBTLAND, OREGON.
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PORTLAND, WEDNESDAY. MAY 18, 1810.
PEACE PATCHWORK IN CONGRESS.
Regular and insurgents have
reached agreement on several conten
tions In Congress, but protective tariff
remains an irreconcilable disrupter of.
Republican harmony. This is inevita
ble. There can be no common ground
for peace batween multiplicity of fac
tions warring for protective spoils.
Xor can there be any living issue in
such spoils to make men patriots or
to stir them to living deeds of states
manship. The protective system
breeds insurgents of many stripes, all
of them having this habit in common
playing to the galleries of their
home localities and pandering in ways
of the demagogue to the local discon
tent that springs inevitably from pro
tective tariff.
"With tariff put on a revenue basis
solely, such panderings would be
minimized; there would be the least
opportunity for insurgents to revolt
from party with home approval.
At Des Moines last week Senator
Cummins, Insurgent, declared that the
breaches in the Republican party axe
Irreconcilable. "The sooner we re
alize that this breach in the ranks of
he Republican party." said he, "la not
tphemeral, the sooner we appreciate
(hat it is a movement of the people,
Ihe sooner we will become conscious
f a great and everlasting truth."
lenator Cummins poses aa a protec
lonlst, yet-there are a great many Re
publicans who do not accept his doc
trines of protection; the majority of
the Republicans of Congress do not,
)ior even do the majority of Demo
crats, although the latter act with his
nsurgent element in order to make
iiscomflture for Republicans.
It is not to be believed that Repub
lican harmony is to be obtained on a
kmg-and-short-haul basis, although
Republicans have agreed on a clause
In the railroad bill looking to modifi
cation of the present rate arrange
ment. As the matter now stands,
they have united on a provision that
Insurgents are already reading one
way and regulars another. The pro
vision is a clear declaration neither on
the one side nor on the other; for the
Insurgents It prohibits a smaller
charge for a long haul than for a
shorter, and for the regulars it adds
in a proviso that the Interstate Com
mission may authorize a less charge
for a long haul than for a shorter
one whenever the Commission ascer
tains that "the circumstances and
conditions of the long haul are dis
similar' to the circumstances and con
ditions of the shorter haul."
Republican factions make showing
of conoert against Democrats on oc
casion as in the long-and-short-haul
contention and on establishment of a
court of commerce. Yet the voting is
not clean-cut on party lines. To do
the members of Congress justice. It
may be said that In none of the ques
tions before Congress Is there any is
eue of general nation-wide import.
Nothing like free silver or free trade
or slavery. Instead the questions are
those of local interest as to protective
tariff for benefit of special localities
and industries, and of more favorable
railroad rates. for inland centers.
Until some nation-wide question of
policy appears, there will probably be
insurrections and insurgencies within
each party. Free trade, in place of
protective tariff, would be such an
issue, but no party dares take it up
just now, not even the Democratic,
which owns this issue as one of Its
traditional possessions.
The peace that is effected in Con
gress is of the patchwork kind, that
will suffice for a time, but will not
mend for good, until self-seeking of
politicians and pandering of dema
gogues shall be submerged In some
question that will put National above
local interest.
IiO, THE RICK INDIAN!
If a bill recently introduced in the
United States Senate by Mr. Owen, of
Oklahoma, becomes a law, our mil
lionaire class may presently be en
larged by the addition of a fine crop
of aboriginal -American plutocrats.
The "Five Civilized Tribes" hold lands
whose value in timber, coal, asphalt,
oil. etc., is somewhere near $100,000,.
000. The Owen bill authorizes sale of
these lands, the proceeds to be divid
ed among the aboriginal wards en
titled to receive the same. The Pres
ident is to appoint a Commission to
manage the sale, composed of one cit
izen of the United States, one Choc
taw and one Chickasaw i
"But let no misguided person de
lude himself," says an Eastern Journal
with fine sarcasm, "into the belief
that the distribution of so vast a sum
among the Cherokees, Choctawa and
Chickasaws would lead them into lives
of folly and extravagance. The mem
bers of those tribes as a rule are
thrifty, sedate and free from vice. The
chances are that they would use the
money as prudently as the average
white man would. Nevertheless, the
figures make the classic exclamation
about the poor Indian seem Just a
trifle Ironical."
But full-fledged citizens of the
"West, white tribes, are not equally
favored iwitb. redskins of Oklahoma.
Poor Whites of the West are shut out
of the lands of the Government, while
people of the other color are thus to
be admitted. "Conservation" makes
the difference. Eastern white breth
ren see some strange virtue in the dif
ference and applaud Pinchot as its
author.
These same white brethren possess
the lands, the water powers, the min
erals and the forests, which they be
gan taking away from the aborigines
some 300 yeara ago and have turned
to account ever since. Now they put
u the claim that they. Eastern, peo
ple, God'8 children, have a righ'to
take away from white pioneers in the
West aid lock up ln reserves what
those pioneers have reclaimed from
the vt'deraess and added to the
Nation.
Strange isn't it that these White
folks of the East are so forgetful of
their own origin that they would
deny the very privileges to their West
ern brethren that have made them
selves rich and strong in the Middle
West and on the Atlantic coast, and
moreover that they would deny these
Western brethren the very same priv
ileges which they are about to accord
to the Choctawa and Chickasaws.
But this is Pinchot conservation.
It is false doctrine. This 13 one of its
many absurdities.
BETTER NOT "GO TO LAW."
Neither railroad nor city will profit
from litigation over Broadway bridge
right of way and matters accessory
thereto. Bach side needs concessions
from the other which, if they "go to
law," they will fail to obtain.
The O. R. & N. and its subsidiary
terminal company and the Mayor
and Council should find some. way of
getting together. If the O. R. & N.
cannot control the minority interest
in the terminal company In this ad
justmentthe Northern Pacific then
there ought to be a conference to
gether of principals of the two rail
roads and the city.
Litigation will tie up the city and
the O. R. & N." and the Terminal
Company. Obstinacy means litigation
and litigation means exasperating de
lays on all sides.
The two railroad companies, with
their interests common, should be
able to meet the city on a basis of
reasonable give and take.
WORK AND IDLE MEN.
There is absolutely no reason why
any boy over 16 years old, in need of
work, should not find work that will
enable him to pay his way and lay
aside a snug sum for possible future
stress. Nor is there any" reason why
any man who wants work should fail
to find ltat more than a living wage.
Every apple tree in the state's abound
ing orchard area needs hands to thin
out the fruit that has set on every
tree; every strawberry field is redding
for the harvest and the laborers are
few. Contractors seek in vain for
able-bodied men who are willing to do
a fair day's work for a good day's
wage. Ranchers seek men to slash
brush and chop wood and plow clear
ings; dairymen want men to milk, and
for caretakers for their herds; hop
fields need plowing and hop vines
training.-
So all along the line. Labor is
everywhere in demand at good wages.
This is no time for tack-door charity,-
for socialistic gatherings or for
the plaint of the poor worklngman
to be heard in the land. Labor does
not need to bid for sympathy; it
should bid for work, get it, and then
set about doing it with cheerful spirit,
thankful for its large share In the
prosperity of a most prosperous time.
LOST BY DEFAULT.
Advices from Washington indicate
that the amendment to the river and
harbor bill closing the draws of Port
land bridges during the rush hours
will be defeated. Belief that the
amendment would be passed was
mainly due to the fact that Senator
Lodge, of Boston, had first Introduced
a similar amendment governing the
closing of drawbridges in Boston har
bor. The Senator from Massachusetts,
having Influence in Washington, se
cured due consideration of his amend
ment. About the time its success was
assured, someone conveyed the news
to Senator Bourne that the matter
regulating drawbridges was of some
Interest in Portland. The Oregon Sen
ator then followed with his amend
ment, but, since Its introduction. Sen
ator Lodge had agreed with the War
Department to ' withdraw his amend
ment providing that department would
close all drawbridges in. Boston for
three hours during the rush hours
each day.
Having thus secured the end sought,
further effort in behalf of the amend
ment was unnecessary. As the life
of the Bourne amendment was de
pendent on that of Senator Lodge's
amendment. It will now be eliminated.
Had Oregon been represented by some
one who would take the initiative in
matters of such vital concern to Port
rand, we might easily have received
the same consideration from the War
Department as is now being shown
Boston in return for abandonment of
the fight to take such regulations out
of the hands of that Cepartment.
A DIMINISHED MEAT BILL.
Farmers' Bulletin 391, issued free
by' the United States Department of
Agriculture, is a document of timely
and thrilling interest. While not ex
actly a cook-book, still it Imparts
quantities of vastly desired Informa
tion concerning a highly important
branch, of cookery, the preparation of
palatable and cheap dishes from meat.
It is feared, however, that most of
the instruction which this excellent
bulletin seeks to lavish on the Ameri
can people will, be wasted on the des
ert air, for there are discouragingly
few of our fellow citizens who either
know anything about cookery or wish
to learn anything. The average house
wife thinks she has done her full duty
by a beefsteak when she casts it dis
dainfully into the spider and sets It
a-slzzling. The longer it -sizzles the
better she thinks it is. Usually It
comes to the table with the consis
tency of a piece of lignum vitae and
contains about as much available
nourishment as an oyster shell. One
Is- sometimes tempted to pray that
the American High School girl might
be led to forsake Latin and algebra
during the last six months of her
course and study the art of cooking
a good dinner.
Blessed- in her generation Is the
woman who . can cook. She Is not
only sure of a high place in the celes
tial city, but she never loses her
husband's love. A man will forsake
a 'beautiful wife sometimes. He will
desert the most accomplished musi
cian and from the most gifted poli
tician his heart will stray; but who
ever heard of a man running away
from a good cook? Nobody. Such
things do not happen. .
If a woman desires to be loved from
the rosy bloom of 16 until she is gray
and wrinkled, let her .learn to cook.
This Bulletin 391 tells not only how
to cook meat, but how to buy it. You
can make ;a delicious dish from a
shin bone if you know how. The
scraps which the wasteful American
family casts to the dog are. sufficient
in the hands of an artist to compose
a toothsome stew. Woe to the woman
who despises stews. Her husband
shall come to penury and her chil
dren shall beg their bread in the
street. We advise everybody to send
for a. copy of this bulletin. It is full
of useful information and the receipts
it contains are luscious to read. How
they might taste 'is another question.
THERE IS NO PABALLEX.
"Public docks," writes a corre
spondent of The Oregonian, "are
among the most important founda
tions of the great commercial pros
perity of Germany and Holland; and
railroad and corporation control of
wharfage in the United States is a
thing every thinking American de
plores. We boast that we lead the
world in progress, when, in fact, on
many questions of public service, we
are still in the dark ages, as compared
with leading European countries."
But Holland and Germany are not
the United States. Conditions of every
kind, industrial, sccial, political, are
very different there. The manage
ment suited to those countries would
not e tolerated here; for the peeple
there are content to leave such mat
ters to those who know. Here the
people are not. Besides, government
there participates largely in the own
ership and operation of railway lines,
and even in ocean transportation;
here not at alL Our political system,
at the present stage of its growth. Is
wholly unfitted for such undertakings
as those controlled by government in
European countries, ahd our labor
system likewise. Everything that gov
ernment undertakes with us is con
ducted in an Improvident, extravagant
and wasteful manner. Administration
of civil affairs in our country is ex
cessively costly and even " profligate.
Under governmental ownership and
direction, the vastly larger business of
industry, commerce and transporta
tion in our country it might surely
be predicted vould run into every
variety of extravagance, abuse and
corruption.
It has been axiomatic in our coun
try hitherto, and always should re
main so, that public ownership should
never toe extended over any of the
subjects of ordinary business. Trans
portation may be held under the rea
sonable control of the state; but the
state, under our system, never should
engage In it. From the ownership
and operation of wharves by the city
or state, there Is but a step to the
demand for public ownership of river
and ocean vessels and railroads. Had
we the despotism in this country
that exists in the enlightened coun
tries of Europe, whoso achievements
are held up to us as examples, we
might do these things as they are
done in Europe; but not under our
political, social and labor systems.
Besides, there is wide dlssimiliarity
between physical and geographical
conditions in the Columbia River and
most of the great ports of the Old
World. There, in some places, public
docks are an essential part of man
made or artificial harbors and of publicly-owned
facilities of transporta
tion. The Columbia River, on the
other hand, is a natural port which
has been improved by simple and rela
tively cheap methods. Its natural
advantages have made it the chief
port of the North Pacific, and there
has been no necessity of taking over
the dock business from private enter
prise and making a monopoly of it as
an accessory of an artificial port. Pri
vate enterprise has furnish jd all the
facilities needed here, and . will add
adequately to the dock -equipment
hereafter if it is not deterred by
threats of municipal docks.
DtXMXE IN WHEAT PRICES.
"The most Important subject before
us now Is, I think, the decrease in the
price of wheat which I believe is being
brought about by the large grain
companies to Injure the Farmers
Union," writes a correspondent of the
Pacific Farmers' Union, official organ
of the union. This correspondent fur
ther ventures the opinion that the
grain companies "will put the price of
wheat down and send out the infor
mation that there is no demand for
export wheat, and the farmers who
have held their wheat on the advice
given out by the Farmers' Union will
either have to sell at-these low prices
or hold their wheat over, and this
would cause the organization untold
injury, as the wheatgrowers might
Jose all confidence in the union."
It is somewhat surprising, In these
days of the telegraph and dally news
paper, covering not only local, state
and National conditions of crops and
prices, tout those of the entire world,
to find such ignorance regarding the
basic factors governing wheat- prices.
If the wheatgrowers of the country
had paid a little more attention to ac
curate news of the world's markets,
instead of reading the biased reports
which the Pacific Farmers' Union cir
culated for the purpose of inducing
growers to hold their wheat, many of
them would not now be regretting that
their wheat does not command within
80 cents per bushel of the price that
could have been secured when the
wheat was ready for market. It is
not the large grain companies or the
small grain companies that have
caused the decline in the price of
wheat. Overshadowing all other In
fluences that have contributed to the
lowering of prices has been the eager
ness of the Russian wheatgrowers to
take advantage of the high prices re
fused by so many members of the
Farmers' Union of the United States.
Since August 1, 1909, Russia has ex
ported 209,000,000 bushels of wheat.
American exports for the same period
were but little more than 100,000,000
buShels, although the exportable sur
plus was much greater than that
amount.
THE MENACE OF LUXURY.
In his speech at Berlin, Mr. Roose
velt gave voice to statements that have
behind them the verity of history.
This was when he spoke of the deter
iorating effect of luxury upon the hu
man animal, rendering him an easy
prey to men of coarser fiber and
hardier habits of life.
That ease and the comorts of lux
ury elements that are called, or mis
called, prosperity have a tendency to
lower the resistant powers of body
and Induce mental indolence, is a fact
well attested by history. .
"One of the prime dangers of civi
lization.'' said Mr. Roosevelt, "has al
ways been Its tendency to cause the
loss of the virile, fighting virtues to
dull the fighting edge. When men get
too comfortable and lead too luxurious
lives there is always danger lest the
softness eat like an acid into their
manliness of fiber."
No one will attempt to gainsay the
truth of this statement. It Is too well
supported by history and has had too
many examples In common life within
a few years to admit of any contro
versy. Individual examples abound
on every hand. The coddled boy be
comes a strong man, if at all, only
through adversity that toughens his
fiber and enables him to stand un
daunted on the firing line of life's
battle and receive as well as deliver
blows. It is needless to dwell upon a
fact so well substantiated in the his
tory of every community.
It represents a real danger at the
present time, the danger that the
thews and sinews of the race, as well
as its mental strength, will be men
aced by an abounding prosperity and
by devices for ease and comfort that
we call progress and have harnessed
to the high-rolling chariot of civiliza
tion. With the history of the rise and
fall. of empires in his hand he who
runs may read. t
Socialists now holding a National
Congress at Chicago are unable to
agree on the immigration problem.
A majority report favors the exclusion
of Chinese, Japanese, Coreans and
Hindus. One of the reasons advanced
for drawing a line against these races
Js that they are alleged to be "so far
behind the general modern develop
ment of industry, i they constitute a
drawback, an obstacle and , a
menace to the progress of the
most aggressive, militant and in
telligent elements of our working
class population." While it is gener
ally believed that some of the yellow
races are no nearer being desira
ble citizens than some of the soap-box
orators who deliver their eveninc ad
dresses on the street corners, the So
cialists should brush up a little on
their knowledge of the Japanese. They
may be undesirable citizens, tout in de
velopment ' of industry and in being
aggressive and militant, the Japanese
can give many points to much of the
white offscourings of the European
slums that find a way into this coun
try and soon proceed to denounce it.
While members of the American
Farmers' Union were holding their
wheat' back from a high-priced mar
ket, Russians were quietly supplying
the demand. Now, with the shadow
of another toig crop already over the
market, and with prices sagging in all
the world's markets, there is no de
mand except .at lower prices for the
wheat which was held back. Lower
prices are a good thing for the con
sumer, and have a tendency again to
increase the consumption which al
ways shows a decrease when prices
soar to unreasonable heights. It is
regrettable that so many of the farm
ers of the Pacific Northwest were
"buncoed" Into the idea of holding
their wheat until the best market
passed them by, but the experience
will be worth something. Next sea
son they will likely pay more atten
tion to the world's market reports and
place less dependence on the Inter
ested men who are largely responsible
for their present plight.
For a great railroad to mention a
coming evert in its "publicity literature
Is not uncommon; but a 38-page book
let printed on superfine calendared
paper with ten very beautiful colored
illustrations, each devoted to one sub
ject, and these pamphlets distributed
by the thousands all over the United
States, establishes a new. mark in ad
vertising. This is what the Union Pa
cific has done for the Rose Festival,
for Portland and for Oregon. Inci
dentally several favored sections of
the state, attractive to the Summer
visitor, are exploited. So far as this
admirable publication goes, Portland
and Oregon are the only points on
the map. The Union Pacific has done
the handsome thing handsomely.
Ben Simpson who died yesterday at
advanced ag was one of the promi
nent figures of early Oregon. He
leaves a family of well-known sons
and daughters and grandchildren. His
passing deserves the attention of the
commonwealth and the honors that
belong to an honorable name. It Is
a cause of congratulation that on
March 29, when Mr. Simpson cele
brated his 92d birthday, he received
many tokens of remembrance from
the younger generations of Oregon
and from a number of his pioneer
contemporaries. Such tokens .-re
among the best treasures of a useful
and successful life.
John W. Gates and John E. Madden
settled a lawsuit, in which $11,000
worth of oil stock was involved, by
the flip of a coin. After accepting
the decision thus reached, the pair
visited the referee and informed him
that his services were not needed.
This Is a kind of gambling that the
legal fraternity cannot resent too
strongly. If it should become general
among men who have a few thou
sands to win or lose, a great many
lawyers would be, obliged to take up
someother profession.
The cause of the reformers who are
endeavoring to stop the Jeffries-Johnson
fight has been materially aided by
the appointment of Tex Rlckard as
referee. It now looks very much like
a case where the dealer in the game
does not propose to take any chances
on a misunderstanding of orders on
the part of his assistants. From pres
ent appearances the fighting game
stands an excellent chanoe to receive
such a setback as it has never before
encountered.
The Multnomah Circuit Court, over
worked, has issued a call to the Su
preme Court for help. It asks the
Supreme Court to send to Multnomah
one or more of the idle magistrates
from other districts. Good idea, but
tardy. Had this plan been adopted
long ago, there would have been no
need of additional Judges for this
county, and the "new blood" might
have put more celerity into the pro
ceedings of justice.
The worst of annihilation from the
comet's tall would be that all of us
would flash out together and nobody
would remain to write the record of
the worst of -us.
, Stenographer Kerby got a promise
of a new Job for his ci..fession. But
it is a safe wager that his next em
ployers will not place equal trust in
him.
When the Irish go after the new
George he wiffbe sorrier than ever
that he Is King.
The world will be full of brave folks
tonight after the comet passes. .
medium: paladino a mere faker
Exposed by Colombia Profewer Her
"Spiritual" Manifestations old Tricks.
New York cor. Kansas City Star.
The New Tork Times prints a page
expose of the feats of Madame Eusapia
Paladlno, the Italian "medium," by Pro
fessor Dickinson Miller, of the chair of
philosophy at Columbia University. The
article declares that her so-called mani
festations are. tricks and tells how they
were discovered.
A reply by Madame Paladlno is also
printed in which she advances the de
fense that if she were caught in the
trickery described, that trickery was due
to suggestion by the investigators tele
pathically conveyed. The article says in
part:
The subtle Italian medium we have been
studying is a kind of incarnation of spe
cious evidence, a symbol of sophistry.
Her art is to obtain credence under false
pretenses. Readers of some of the news
papers in New York have hardly realized
the serious interest that she has sus
tained for 19 years.
First of all, we made close observations
of her extraordinary "substitution trick."
I- confess I was crestfallen when I dis
covered that this old ruse was still her
grand stratagem. I had been expecting
that after Its discovery in Cambridge,
England, long ago, she would have elab
orated some new masterpiece.
We found the secret of her "materiali
zations." In all the previous reports
weird hands, heads, etc., suddenly ap
pearing in front of the curtains had fig
ured plentifully. Again I was crestfallen.
These spiritual members, taking shape
before our eyes, turned out to be the
medium's "hands."
It was to surprise the secret of levita
tions that, long after the January sittings
were over the plan was adopted of con
cealing watchers under the chairs of the
sitters. Her right heel rested on the foot
of the holder on the right, and her right
toe, the toe of the same foot, rested on
the foot of the holder on the left. Just
as Mr. Rlnn was making his reflections
the left . foot apepared from under her
dress. The table was tilted as usual by
her hands raising its left leg above the
floor. She then put her .left 'foot under
the table leg and by that means lifted
the table.. '
SEATTLE'S GOOOFGLLOWSHIP.
Everybody t'rsred o Attend Portland's
Rose Festival.
Seattle Times.
Once every year the City of Portland
holds Its Rose Carnival. It is one of
the elaborate and picturesque functions
of the Pacific Coast. Seattle Is sadly
lacking because of the fact that it has
nothing like that in 'its own annual pro
gram. It should have, but it has not.
At the same time, the people of Seattle
are all glad to lend a hand In making
the Rose Carnival of Portland a little bit
gayer In making the success of the an
nual fiesta season a little bit more pro
nounced and in Inducing all of the tour
ists from the East who come to Seattle
to visit Portland before they return home.
The Seattle Chamber of Commerce has
for several years supported the Rose
Carnivaland this year Secretary Yandell
has taken particular steps toward the
encouragement of traffic between Seattle
and Portland. The railroads are also
looking after the matter of excursions
from Seattle to Portland during the sec
ond week In June.
Portland is certainly at its best during
this season her thousands of roses are
all In bloom and her hospitality is well
known.
The people of Portland were among the
best patrons the Alaska-Yukon-Pacific
Exposition had and merely as a matter
of reciprocity the people of Seattle who
can afford a little vacation at the time
of the Portland Rose Carnival owe it to
themselves as well as to their own enjoy
ment to make the trip to Portland and to
make themselves a portion of the general
merry-making.
ASSEMBLY CAUSE IS GAINING
Widespread Sentiment In State for Rep
resentative Party Convention.
Roseburg Leader.
That there is a unanimity of sentiment
among the members , of the Republican
party of Eastern Oregon in favor of the
assembly suggestion cannot be questioned
since the unanimous action taken by the
Republicans of Baker County. From the
extreme southern boundary of the state
to Its northern limit and from Lincoln
County on the west to Baker, on the
east, there is united thought, and that Is.
unanimously In favor of precinct, and
county assemblies and a grand state as
sembly to suggest candidates for officers
which will bring a state-wide victory to
the Republican party of Oregon, not only
In this election, but in the great Presi
dential election of 1912. The prospect for
Republican success this Fall is so prom
ising already that even U'Ren and his
conspirators are on the run.
Taate Is Localised.
London Chronicle.
Taste Is curiously localized in the
mouth. Put a lump of sugar on the
tip of your tongue and you will find it
distinctly sweet. Then try It half-way
back on the tongue and you will find it
tasteless. All sweet or aromatic sub
stances, such as wine, sugar and coffee,
can be properly appreciated by the
front half of the tongue, a piece of
knowledge that every true connoisseur
applies when he sips Instead of taking
a mouthful. With most other sub
stances, however, the reverse is true.
In these cases the tip of the tongue
serves only for touching it is the back
part that tastes. The sides of the
mouth too are quite insensible to cer
tain substances not tasteless. Put
some salt or vinegar between the teeth
and the cheea and you will find them
absolutely flavorless.
Scuttling; U'Renlnm.
Grants Pass Observer.
W. S. U'Ren and his associates of the
People's Power League are apparently
learning the wisdom of moderation in
the matter of radical legslation, for
they have decided to abandon for the
time being two of their most startling
innovations the state cabinet form of
government and the county commission
form of government. These two propo
sitions were such radical departures
from existing methods that they meant
revoluton, and there has not only been
eruptions of protest against them from
all sections of the state, but It is
rumored there has been dissension in
the ranks of the league because of
them.
Dayaey Mayme's Genius.
, Atchison Globe.
Application has been made by Mrs.
Lysander John Appleton to have Day
sey Mayme installed In the chair of
mathematics at the State University.
"As a proof of her skill," she wrote in
a letter to the board of regents, "she
always keeps the scores for the dupli
cate bridge-whist games, and even
when there is a prize no one questions
her totals."
The Material .That Costs.
"Washington Star.
"Those old Greeks and Romans were
lavish in their use of marbles for their
buildings," said the tourist.
"Yes." replied the man who Is doing
business with en architect. "They
probably couldn't afford lumber."
Hob; Market Very Firm.
Flshhawk Cor. Clatskanle Chief.
Henry Hoberg received a bloodhound
from Tacoma last Monday. There are
not enough dogs in Oregon to supply th
demand here .
TIKX GOVER.VMKXT OVER TO U'REX '
How All Good Men Mar Come to the
Aid of the People.
PORTLAND, May 16. (To the Editor.)
In order to simplify matters and dis
cover who are the people, suggest the
following power be executed by the peo
ple to allay further annoyance, excite
ment and acrimonious debate, and check
the irritation of the diabetes in the body
politic:
Know ye, that we, the people of Oregon,
in order to declare our will, doth hereby
nominate, constitute and appoint, in our
place and stead and In the place and stead
of each of us, put and depute, W. S. U'Ren
citizen, gentleman, scholar, statesman, ora
cle; inspired prophet, of the State of Ore
gon, our attorney, agent, representative,
mentor, legislative pap, counsellor, advisor,
chaperon, poUtical guardian, monitor, guide,
instructor, defender, governmental funam
bulist and reform equilibrist, of us and each
of our names hereto and for us and our
benefit as the people aforesaid, to reform,
rehabilitate, reconstruct, revivify. amend,
rectify, correct, regenerate, regress, and re
flux, our constitution and laws, our acts,
amendments, edicts, decrees, ordinances,
born and .unborn. Including the issue of sec
ond marriages: legally to prescribe, enjoin,
dictate and ordain, temporary legislative
salve, antidotes, ointments, baths and mental
treatment for the pimples, bolls, eruptions,
blotches, fuss, form, froth, trumpery, frib
ble, jack-o-lantern woolly-headed aberra
tions, phantasms. Jaw flux, fallacy and
chimerical rash on the skin and exteriors
of the body politic; to evolve an attorney
Into a lawyer, a lawyer Into a philosopher,
a scavenger Into a political economist, a
huckster into a constitutional student, a
slop bucket full of words into a brochure, a
publicist into a leader, an elocutionist into
a statesman, a reformer into a saint, a doc
tor Into a humanitarian, a butcher into a
dentist and a Councilman Into a taxpayer;
to eliminate a boss and assimilate a dicta
tor; to defeat special privilege with spe
cious privilege; to perpetuate the principles
of the majority of the minority; to govern
a modern state on the Xew England town
plan; to encourage friendly relations be
tween the people by prohibiting the sale of
every drink but non-partisan whisky and
non-political beer, giving unto our attorney,
etc., full power in the premise at all times
freely to part the talis of his coat and
plant his center of gravity upon the nerk
of venerable precedent, unbending axioms
and recorded experience, hereby respective
ly ratifying and confirming all and whatso
ever our said attorney, etc., shall lawfully
or unlawfully do or cause to be done or un
done In virtue hereof.
Now is the time for-all good men to
come to the aid of the people. J. H. M.
THIS IS A PIXCHOT ISSUE.
Does Mr. Taft Favor Federal In I on or
Centralised Autocracy f
Chicago Inter-Ocean.
No one has ever thought of accusing
Mr. Taft of a lack of frankness, yet it
Is undeniable that the country Is uncer
tain just where' Mr. Taft Btands on the
vital issue of the times the question
whether this Nation is going forward as
It has gone in the past the question
whether Its National Government is to
continue to be that of a Federal Union
with limited powers or is to develop
into a centralized autocracy with un
bounded authority.
The country desires to know what are
Mr. Taft's opinions and convictions on
this subject. It is not certain now. It
may be that Mr. Taft himself is uncer
tain, or It may be that the popular per
ceptions are dull. Whatever the cause
of the unoertainty, the uncertainty itself
cannot be denied.
Therefore let Mr. Taft speak straight
from the shoulder in words about whose
meaning there can be no possibility of
mistake.
Let him exert himself to be plain and
clear, so that when he gets through
every man who is for Taft will know
why, and every man who is against Taft
will know why.
Light, and still more light, is the great
need of the American people today.
Light, and still more light, on the road
along which the Nation is advancing
that is what the people need for their
salvation.
Let Mr. Taft speak so plainly as to
whither he is going and which way he
is chooBlng that no man can err for a
moment as to what he means and what
he purposes.
Farmers and Higb Prices.
Springfield Republican.
If the farmers have not been getting
anything out of the rise of prices in the
past dozen years or more, who has
been? Yet Dean Sheppard of the North
Dakota agricultural college was main
taining before the Senate cost-of-living
committee at Washington Tuesday that
the farmer is not reaping any benefits
from the high cost of food stuffs. Still
he admits that agricultural lands in his
section have Increased in value about
150 per cent in ten years, which would
seem to make mposslble his claim that
productive capacity in the same time
has decreased 20 per cent. If that is
true then the increase in value must be
largely speculative. Another statement
made was that wheat at a bushel is
worth no more to the farmer now than
80-cent wheat was ten years ago; yet
it was said at the same time that the
prices of agricultural machinery have
increased only 13 per cent, as against
the above increase of 20 per cent in
what the farmer has to sell. But as a
matter of fact wheat brings to the
farmer per bushel Just about double
what It did a dozen or 15 years ago,
and will it be said it is worth no more
to him now than it was then, even con
ceding that the price of labor to the
farmer has increased 60 per cent, as
Professor Sheppard maintains?
Wholesale Law-Maltlns;.
Grants Pass Outlook.
The prospect is that the candidates
for the state offices, whether "sug
gested" by an assembly or "self-nominated"
under the direct primary, will
receive but little attention from the
electorate of Oregon. Their entire at
tention will be occupied. If their brains
are not muddled, by the question as
to whether the northwest corner of
Frog Hollow shall be set apart as a
new eounty, with Punkln Ridge as the
county seat, and about twenty-five
other matters which the voters are not
Interested in or .are not in a position
to pass upon. The initiative and refer
endum means much to the people of
Oregon if properly utilized. It may
prove a monumental nuisance if not
subject to some restrictions. There
will be something like thirty measures
on the state ballot this Fall, and if the
Jumble that ensues does not convince
even the most enthusiastic advocates
of the method that it needs some tin
kering then there is little hope for the
Oregon voter.
How to Chase the AVolf.
Atchison Globe.
When the wolf is at your door you
will be surprised how easily you can
chase him away If you make the effort.
CrBRENT NEWSPAPEB JESTS.
The true philosopher is be who says noth
ing, but In as many words as possible.
Puck. ,
"You say he was brought up In a refin
ing atmosphere' "Yes. As a boy he lived
In the oil districts of Pennsylvania." St.
Louis Star.
"Ever had 'em I strew flowers in your
path as you returned home. Senator?"
"N&w. Fi satisfied not to have 'era strew
banana peelings." Louisville Courier-Journal.
Ted: "I didn't think Prudence was the
kind of girl you would take out with you
on a Joy ride." Ned: "She's Just what we
need. You know, she's' Interested in First
Aid to the Injured." Judge.
Husband: "Excuse me, dear, but don't
you cook much more for dinner than we
can use?" Wife: "Of course! If didn't
how could I economise by utilizing left
over dishes ?" Cleveland Leader.
Would-be Oolfer: "I say, Sandy, could ye
get somebody to play a round with me;
some one who plays about the same game as
I do?" Sandy (looking at his child in
kilta: "Ay. Wife, bring Jock along."
Punch.
Pop. what Is the line the sailors talk
about?" "It is a certain degree which the
ships cross In their voyages." "Oh, I al
ways thought the line was where they hung
the wash of the sear Baltimore American.
LIFE'S SUNNY SIDE
A good story is told of two great Irish
menthe late Archbishop Plunket and
Father Healy, the well-known parish
priest of Bray. Making their way to
gether to Bray railroad station one morn
ing, the priest urged that they should
hurry, but the prelate's appeal to his
watch convinced him that they had ample
time. They arrived to see the train for
Dublin disappearing. The archbishop's
apologies -were lavish. He pleaded that
he had always had unbounded faith lu
his watch. "My dear Lord Plunket,"
was Father Healy's rejoinder, "faitli
won't do without the good works."--Blackwood's
Magazine.
.
Clark Howell, of Atlanta, telis a good
story about a former janitor of the At
lanta. Constitution office who lost his
place through overindulgence in liquor,
and who afterward secured a position
as an assistant in an automobile garage
in that city.
"He had been working around the
garage as a handy man for about six
months," said Mr. Howell, "and happen
ing to meet him on the street one day I
asked him how he was getting along In
the automobile business.
'Fine,' said he.
" I suppose you know everything about
an automobile now. Tom?' I said to him.
- ies, sir, Air. Howell. I know a lot
about dem cars, for 1'se been working
ureter dem, and over dem, and all around
dem ever since I left the Constitution
office. But dero 'Is Just one thing about
dem automobiles dat puzzles me,' said
j. um.
" 'What" s that?' I asked.
" "Well, sir, Mr. Howell, I can't get it
Into my head how they make 'em go
without hitching ,a horse to 'em.' "
Washington Post.
A Washingtonian, owning a country
place near the capital, engaged as stable
boy a country lad from Eastern Mary
land. During his last stay at the place the
owner did not see the boy for several
days. Finally, however, havihg special
need of the lad, it occurred to him that
the stable-hand was not exactly "on tho
Job."
"Where the deuce do you keep your
self?" demanded the master of the place.
"I don't believe I've seen you since you
were engaged. Have you been asleep all
this time?"
"Yes, sir," was the unexpected re
sponse. "I thought that was what you
wanted, sir."
"What I wanted!" exclaimed the em
ployer, amazed. "What are ycu driving
at?"
"Well, sir," explained the lad, "your
advertisement said you wanted a boy of
16, to sleep on the premises." Saturday
Evening Post.
Two burglars were on their trial and
had engaged a smart lawyer for their de
fense, who, on cross-examining one of
the witnesses said: "You say that on
the night in question the moon was so
bright that you could see the burglars
In the room. Was your husband awake
at the time?" -
Witness I don't know.
"Was his face turned toward you or
not?"
The witness answered that she did not
know.
"What! You don't know? Now. come,
tell me, was his face turned toward you
or the wall?"
"I don't know."
. "Ah, ha! I thought so" (turning to the
jury). "She could not see. She who Iden
tifies the prisoners could not see which
way her husband's face was turned. Kx
plain that if you can."
"Well, sir, my husband Is so bald that
in a dim light I can't toll his face from
the back of his head. Tattler.
Apropos of the season of Atlantic travel.
Captain Simon P. Lea, of the Carlinia,
said the other day In New York:
"Yes, what with these wonderful new
ships, the biggest, the most palatial and
the fastest that he world has ever seen
an Atlantic passage Is now a real joy.
"A steerage passenger from the Maure
tania the other day was met at the dock
by a cousin.
" 'Well, man,' said the cousin to the
immlgrit. 'I'm glad to see ye. Did ye
have a safe passage?'
" "Oh, yes, very safe, very pleasant, I
assure ye,' the immigrant answered. "The
only accident I heerd of was that tho
ship had broke her record." " Washing
ton Star.
Vision of a United Church.
Churchman.
To the Congregationalist "the vision
of a united fellowship in Christ in
America is growing clearer and more
attractive every year." It does not
think that this unity is likely to ex
press itself in any one ecclesiastical
organization; "the eagerness of a de
nomination here and another there to
propose its own traditions and dogmas
and forms of administration as a basis
of unity only obscures the vision of a
united church. Each denomination that
has anything worth cherishing distinct
from others ought to continue to cher
ish it. Wre do not expect or wish for
the organic and corporate unity of all
Christian churches. Wo believe the
Holy Spirit has called Into being vari
ous types of Christian character, vari
ous expressions of Christian faith and
various kinds of church organization.
But all these can act in harmony to
realize the common object of the dis
ciples of the Master. . . . The vision
of a united church in America has risen
above the horizon of the future. With
each succeeding year its form changes,
Its dimensions enlarge, its outlines
grow clearer. It is the ideal which all
American Christians can hope and
strive and pray for with expectation
that it will be realized."
Interstate Commerce Commission.
CASTLE ROCK, Wash., May 16. (To
the Editor.) Will you kindly give in the
columns of The Oregonian the names of
the members of the Interstate Commerce
Commission, and greatly oblige,
C. E. G.
Martin A. Knapp. New York, chairman:
Judson C. Clements, Georgia; Charles A.
Prouty, "Vermont; Francis M. Cockrell,
Missouri; Franklin K. Lane, California;
Edgar E. Clark, Iowa; James S. Harlan.
Illinois; Edward A. Moseley, Massachu
setts, secretary.
AU He Heard.
Chicago Record-Herald.
"Well, Willie, I hear you have a new
baby at your house."
"Yep."
"What is it, a little sister or a little
brother?"
"I dunno. All I heard was pa klckln
about it bein' an ultimate consumer."
Ltttre, but "Very Regular.
Gervals Star.
Mrs. E. Keppinger has the champion
hen for small eggs. She brought to this
office last Wednesday a half-dozen eggs
that were smaller than pigeons' eggs and
Mrs. Keppinger says her old hen lays
one every day. Who can beat that?
A Sentiment Killer.
Boston Transcript.
"Love," said the maiden, "Is a rose
That In life's garden sweetly grows."
"Marriage," the horrid man did scoff. ',
"'la the wind that blows the petals off."
One Berry Sufficient.
New York Telegram.
With one strawberry In the middle
Of the cake mark the spot
What care I for life's old riddle?
I'm contented with my lot.