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THE MQirJTTXO OEEGOXIAN, THURSDAY, MAY 5, 1010.
POBTIASD, OREGON.
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PORTLAND. THURSUAV, MAY 5, 1910.
EMPLOYERS' LIABILITY LAW.
Between the contentions of workers
and employers as to liability for per
sonal injury is a medium of fair deal
ing. This medium the people of Ore
gon will be impelled to find. The
outcome will be wholly satisfactory to
neither side, nor will it end their
strife. Whatever concessions shall be
allowed, employes will want to have
extended, while those who hire the
hands will desire them modified. But
between the two contending elements
is a basis of substantial Justice, that
accords with the public interest, and
that citizens as a whole desire to have
defined.
Unfortunately the electors who hold
the balance of power to "legislate" on
this question under the initiative next
November do not have the means of
adjusting matters in that election.
There can be no deliberation nor com
promise, no amendment nor substitu
tion of remedies. The ballots must be
cast on alternative extremes, neither
of which the electorate may really de
sire to enact. The labor measure ought
not to become law in the form it Is
offered. And the retaliatory bill of
the employers if there shall be one
and it will be natural for one to be
submitted could probably be justly
amended, if there were facilities of
doing so.
Proper legislation is a matter of ad
justment and compromise. If it were
not so, it would benefit one class of
citizens at expense of another. Dis
regard of this principle or impossi
bility of applying it, throws discredit
on the initiative method of lawmaking.
Oregon has passed through this ex
perience. Two years ago extreme
fishery bills were submitted by rival
, salmon factories of the Columbia
River, each measure framed for the
purpose of driving a rival out of ex
istence. Both were enacted and they
were such flagrant violations of jus
tice that they were hastily repealed by
the succeeding Legislature.
The association of employers who
are opposing the labor bill say they
are willing to make substantial con
cessions in the direction of liability.
The premiums they pay for liability
insurance show that they are making
large outlay In this direction already.
Last year in this state they paid twice
as much for insurance as the insur
ance companies returned and injured
employes received only a small per
centage of the indemnities.
The labor bill goes too far when it
makes owners of buildings that are
under construction liable for injuries
sustained by the employe of a contrac
tor, sub-contractor, foreman or archi
tect. There could be no security for
owners of property under such a law.
No class of citizens should be per
mitted to legislate for its own interest,
whether its citizens be rich or poor,
employes or employers. The fault of
the initiative system of lawmaking is
that it admits extremists into the pow
ers of lawmaking. Is this fault to be
proved again?
WHY PRICES ARE HIGH.
Both Secretary Wilson of the De
partment of Agriculture and Mr. B. F.
Yoakum, a railroad man, had some
instructive remarks to make to the
Farmers' Union at St. Louis on May 3.
Kach gentleman spoke . principally
Upon the all-absorbing bpio of the
high cost of living and each had a
theory of his own to account for it.
Secretary Wilson believes that the
prices of food are high because the
productiveness of 'the farms of the
country does not keep pace with the
Increase of population. Our failure
to produce crops comparable with
what the Knglish and French farmers
raise on the same amount of land is
due to our universal neglect to care
for the soil. The American agricul
turist has always acted upon the
theory that he could continually take
fertility out of the soil and still raise
profitable crops. The sad experience
of recent years teaches him that this
is en error. To make farming pay
permanently he must restore to the
soil in the form of cheap fertilizers the
element.- which he takes from it an
nually in the form of grain and fruit.
Secretary WiLson deserves high praise
for the persistence with which he has
kept this elementari- truth before the
people of the United States and the
practical efforts he has made to apply
it. The good work which the expert
merit stations are doing for .the
farmers all over the country is largely
the result of his diligence.
The fact that Secretary' Wilson was
right in what he ssid to the farmers
about high cost of living did not pre
vent Mr. Yoakum from being right
also, although he had a different
theory. In his opinion living is dear
because of the plundering middleman
This useless intermediary robs the
farmer on the one hand and the con
Burner on the other, absorbing most
of the profits of agriculture and mak
ing life a burden for the man who
is compelled to purchase meat and
bread. Evidently there is no conflict
between this view and Mr. Wilson's
theory that the fertility of the soil
has been depleted and production cur
tailed by bad farming methods. Both
are undoubtedly true. We may also
agree with Mr. Yoakum's further re
mark that the way to escape from the
clutches of the middleman is to organ
lxe. With the farmers organized for
marketing their products and consum
ers organized for purchasing, it Is not
easy to see how the parasitic inter
mediary could reap his profit.
Organization of the farmers has al
ready progressed to a certain point,
and It Is likely to go a great deal far-
ther. It proceeds more slowly than
on could wish, but It does not slacken
and perhaps after a time it will move
faster. But to consumers the idea
of combining to purchase their goods
is novel in this country, though it has
been applied elsewhere with "great
success, notably in England and Bel
gium. Probably we have never
thought much on the subject in Amer
ica because living has always been
comparatively easy, no matter how
much was wasted. Now the time has
come when we are compelled to think
about the scraps we have been in the
habit of throwing away, and it is
likely enough that consumers as well
as producers will seek to mitigate
their hardships by organizing.
DODGING COST OF WATER MAIXS.
Latest of proposals as to water
mains in Portland is that the city
charge lot owners for new pipes and
then give them back their money in
free water service for a commensurate
period. This will not reach the root
of the trouble, if the doctrine is to
hold that persons, whose land is im
proved by water mains, should pay for
the Improvements.
The city does not give back to lot
owners any part of the money they
pay for improvements in sewers.
streets or sidewalks. These better
ments, as of water mains, enter into
the value of land and into the selling
price, when the speculator or the in
vestor "realizes." Water mains give
land more value than any of these im
provements. It is not Just for water
consumers or taxpayers to make fa
vored lot owners a present of this
increment. That would mean higher
water rates or higher taxes.
What the present effort of reform is
trying to do is chiefly to compel per
sons who add new tracts to the city
to pay out of their own pockets for
an Improvement that they sell to their
successors. This is Just what certain
land owners are trying to escape. Will
the city let them?
CONSEBVIXG AGAINST OFFICIALS.
As if the people of the several states
do not own the use of unappropriated
waters nor possess control of appro
priated waters through power of tax
ation and regulation of service, Gif
ford Pinchot reiterates that his pet
Federal bureau must be put in charge,
in a fresh article in a current publica
tion, of which the following is an ex
cerpt: Under the Constitution the United States
exercises direct control over navigable
streams. It exercises control over non-navi
gable and source streams only through its
ownership of the lands through, which they
pass, as in the public domain and National
forests. It is Just as essential for the pub
lic welfare that the people should retain
and exercise control of water power monop
oly on navigable as on non-navigable
streams. If the difficulties are greater, then
the danger that the water powers may pass
out of the people's hands on the lower navi
gable parts of the streams is greater than
on the upper non-navigable parts, and it
may be harder, but in no way leas neces
sary to prevent it.
The people are in control of the
streams of this country, both navigable
and non-navigable. They have or
dained in National and state constitu
tions that the Federal Government
shall supervise and regulate navigable
waters and that the state governments
shall exercise this function over the
others.
There is no reed of extending the
authority of the Federal Government
beyond 'present legal limits. The
streams will be safe in control of the
states and will be better conserved.
True conservation now-a-days is
that of protecting the waters from de
vouring hosts of Federal officialdom
who would tax the users of the
streams in the new states to
maintain a costly bureaucracy in
Washington, D. C. The people
who use the waters should not
be compelled to pay toll to swarms of
officials in the National Capital. Nor
will they do so while their constitu
tions last.
THE LONG AND SHORT HAUL.
Far-reaching in its effect and be
wildering in the changes it will make
possible is the long-and-short-haul
clause of the Congressional railroad
bill. As agreed on by the House, this
long-and-short-haul section of the bill
permits railroads to charge low rates
for a long haul, with water competi
tion, only after such lower rates have
been approved by the Interstate Com
merce Commission. This provision, if
it finally becomes the law, will vastly
increase the powers of the Interstate
Commerce Commission, which up to
the present time has assumed no jur
isdiction over rates susceptible to wa
ter competition. Under such a pro
vision, the Commission will have pow
er to decree at what point in the in
terior the rail rate and the water
rate will meet.
The delicacy of the task before the
Commission can be understood when
the instability of the water rate is
considered. Ever open to competition.
this rate fluctuates much more rap
idly and frequently than rail rates
and presents a problem not easily
solved. But the troubles of the lonir
and-short-haul provision of the bill do
not end with water competition. The
oretically it seems wrong that a rail
road should charge a higher freight
rate for hauling freight 400 miles than
it charges for hauling it 600 miles.
Viewed from a practical standpoint.
however, the situation discloses the
presence of an endless array of varying
conditions which at times and in cer
tain localities make a high rate on a
400-mile haul seem more reasonable
than a low rate on a 600-mile haul.
Density of traffic, cost of construction
maintenance and operation show such
great differences in different localities
that the men who are entrusted with
the duty of applying this long-and-short-haul
change will be confronted
with many serious problems.
Applied with a disregard for these
conditions and with strict adherence
to the theory that a 600-mile haul
should cost the "shipper more than .a
400-mile haul, there must result a
general shifting of the jobbing centers
throughout the country". Spokane, for
example, could no longer engage in a
jobbing business west of that city be
cause Ritzville. Odessa, Colfax and
other points on which Spokane now
levies tribute would enjoy lower rates
than Spokane could secure. On the
east. Helena and Missoula, being
nearer the originating freight centers
of the East, could ship into territory
east of Spokane that is now served bv
Spokane. If the Interstate Commerce
Commission should see fit to wield
this immense power given by the long-
and-short-haul provision in a manner
detrimental to Coast interests, the
Coast cities might suffer considerable
inconvenience pending read justment
of conditions and addition of sufficient
steamers to handle the heavy increase
in water traffic which would immedi
ately follow.
The Impregnable position of the
coast cities will protect them against
either the railroads, the opposition of
interior cities or a hostile Interstate
Commerce Commission. This position
is almost invulnerable now. It will be
further strengthened as soon as the
Panama Canal is completed. Long be
fore the big waterway connects the
two oceans, the business interests of
Spokane and of every city west of the
Rocky Mountains will be joining the
coast ports in a demand for lower
distributive rates from the coast to
the interior, so that all may share in
the benefits of ocean competition, the
only competition which is open to
every man who cares to build a ship
and engage in the carrying trade.
SHIPPTN-G GOLD.
To add to the economic puzzles of
this perplexing period we are now
confronted with an unfavorable bal
ance of trade. It has always been the
pride and Joy of our American econo
mists that at the close of each year
Europe owed us a comfortable sum
which had to be remitted in hard
cash. This year the state of things
has been reversed and It is we who
must do the remitting. American'
gold is flowing to London and other
European money centers by the ship
load, and none is likely to return for
some time. The Springfield Repub
lican opines that the gold is bought
by foreign banks to fortify themselves
against an approaching panic. As for
the panic, it is looked forward to as
the natural reaction from the wild
speculation in rubber shares which is
raging in London. The demand for
rubber to make automobile tires has
made everybody crazy to Invest in the
shares of the bubble companies. By
and by they will burst, and then woe
to the banks which have not provided
for the inevitable. This is a pretty
theory, and no doubt it is true as far
as it goes, but .there is another rea
son why American gold is going to
Europe.
It is to cancel an unfavorable bal
ance of trade. We are in debt to the
old country and the time has now
come when the account must be bal
anced. In former years we had so
much raw material to export, grain,
cotton, meat, lumber, and so on, that
the other hemisphere invariably closed
the year in debt to us. Now our raw
materials are falling off, not greatly
in absolute measure, perhaps, but in
the amount we can spare from home
consumption. Our manufacturers can
not compete with those of Germany
in desirable markets like those of
South America and the Orient. At
the same time our expenditures run
up to enormous sums.
It is said that American travelers
spend $50,000,000 in France alone
every season, and of'course this Is only
a fraction of the total cost of our Eu
ropean pleasuring. If the shipment
of gold to Europe is to be a steady pro
cess, it means that the United States
has fallen into a position of economic
dependence and that this country will
be more and more completely drained
of its wealth as the years pass. The
natural remedy is to cease to ship raw
materials and send out manufactures.
Another remedy Is for some of our
travelers to stay at home.
KEW THOTOHT TEACHERS.
A curious phenomenon of the
times we live in is the swarm of "new
thought" practitioners of one sort and
another which has settled down like
locusts on every city in the country.
A story is told of one in Los Angeles
who usually draws an audience of 200
or 300 people to hear what he calls his
"lessons in the heavenly life." The
admission is $1. The lessons are taken
down in shorthand and something like
a thousand copies of each one sold at
$2.50 apiece to his worshiping fol
lowers. It Is safe to say that the les
sons teach nothing whatever that can
not be found in dozens of books, but
the lecturer possesses the magic art
of humbugging people and thrives
upon it. . ,
The tale which has Just come from
New York about the young man who
goes by the title "Om" shows that
sometimes practitioners of the new
thought do not always content them
selves with mere swindling; It ap
pears that this enterprising vessel of
inspiration, whose real name is Bern
ard, was in the habit of inveigling
girls to his house and keeping them
there for improper purposes under the
pretense of giving them instruction in
new thought mysteries.
Persons who have attentively lis
tened to lecturers upon this elusive
subject agree that they have nothing
whatever to teach that is worth learn
ing. The very slender stream of heal
ing influence which flows from the
mind to the body has been magnified
and misrepresented by them until it
is distorted out of all semblance to the
truth. They play upon the credulity
of their victims without scruple and
fool them right and left as long as
they can be persuaded to part with
their money. The wonderful thing
about the business is the ease with
which any adventurer who has no
credentials and but little apparent at
tractiveness of speech or manner can
go to a strange city and quickly
gather a "class" to listen to his non
sense. The class seldom lasts long.
It dissolves almost as quickly as it
assembles, but that does not matter.
The inspired teacher can go his way
to some other town and repeat the
process indefinitely.
THE INDIVIDVAL AM) THE PARTY'.
Mr. Bailey's remarks in the Senate
the other day on the tariff and the in
surgents have that doctrinaire flavor
which seems to cling to everything
that an irrecoverable Democrat thinks
and does. He could not understand,
he said, how Republicans can wrangle
among themselves "over the extent of
protection." As soon as a duty is high
enough to afford any protection at all,
he argues, it makes no difference how
much higher it is made. At least it
makes no difference on the Repub
lican theory, which assumes that
American manufacturers will compete
among themselves to keep down
prices. If Republican statesmen would
only let their Democratic brethren
formulate and interpret their prin
ciples for them there might be greater
harmony in the Federal Senate, but
there would be a good deal less com
mon sense than there is. Where can
a Republican politician of ordinary
intelligence be found today who be
lieves that competition among the pro
tected interests will keep down prices?
The effort of thoughtful Republican
statesmen is to discover some method.
if possible, of preserving the home
market for our manufacturers and at
the same time so regulating the com
binations that they may not prey upon
the people. Mr. Bailey was not neces
sarily correct therefore when he said
in the same speech from which we
have Quoted that men who do not
approve of the present tariff schedules
are more Democrats than Republicans.
Moderate protection which equalizes
the cost of production in this country
and Europe need not afford any shel
ter for extortionate combinations while
it may exclude foreigners from the
American market. This is the Repub
lican ideal as expressed in the last
National platform; and if any man
believes that the ideal has not yet
been attained he may have his con
viction without being . a Democrat.
The Democrats, according to Mr.
Bailey, eschew the protective principle
altogether, though when they had an
opportunity to revise the tariff they
did not seem to be very firmly at
tached to their creed. The truth is
that individual freedom of opinion is
becoming more prevalent in American
politics than it has been before for
many years and the consequences up
to a certain point cannot but be bene
ficial to the country.. As long as in
dividual liberty of thought does not go
to the length of bieaking up the
party organizations Cere is othing
injurious to be feared from it.
The Alaska Northern Railroad is
Importing 3000 tons of coal from Ja
pan for use in running its trains in
Alaska. The Commercial Club of Sew
ard, Alaska, has forwarded to the
Government a protest against the pol
icy which- makes necessary importa
tion of coal at a time when Alaska has
such a large measure undeveloped.
These Alaskans must be near-sighted
and not at all familiar with Pinchot
ism. They should welcome the impor
tation of coal from Japan, as it will
permit these great coal resources of
Alaska to remain undisturbed so that
posterity can use them. Besides Japan
ese "Guggenheims" who are selling
this coal to the Alaskans, have spent
money in developing their mines and
building railroads to them, and if we
buy their coal, we will exhaust the
supply that much sooner, and then a
few thousand years hence our own
Alaskan coal will sell for high figures.
For shame, Alaska, you should wel
come this Japanese coal that enables
you to conserve your resources.
A senseless run on a Los Angeles
bank ended Tuesday, after frantic de
positors had been drawing out their
funds for two days, and one of the
hysterical depositors had dropped
dead through excitement and fear.
There was still plenty of money In the
bank when the wave of hysteria had
spent Its force, and then the "back
flow" 'began, thousands of depositors
returning the money which they had
foolishly withdrawn a few hours ear
lier. An idle rumor started the run.
When the great American public
either with a local or a National panic,
gives an Idle rumor support, trouble
ensues. We speak lightly of the in
telligence of the sheep that rush pell
mell over a precipice Just because one
of their empty-headed number got
started the wrong way; but in case of
most runs made on our banks, the in
telligence of the sheep does not suf
fer by comparison with that of the
two-legged goats who follow the leader
In a run on a bank.
When Senor Evariso Madero (may
his tribe increase), Governor of Coa
huila, believed that he was about to
die, he summoned all of his relative
to his bedside. There were children
and grand-children and even great-grand-children,
and to the number of
105 they obeyed the summons toy mak
ing a swift rush on a special train.
None, so far as known, sent regrets or
excuses, which, of course, showed that
Senor Evariso was popular among the
young folks, and that Mexicans are
kind to the aged. It might be ex
plained, however, that Senor Evariso
was the owner of a fortune of about
$30,000,000. Even in this country,
where we are sometimes chided for
our neglect of the aged, a dying man
with $30,000,000 would be pretty Cer
tain to round up a large assortment
of relatives before he died, not to men
tion a few who would appear after
wards, if the will had failed to prove
satisfactory.
Evidently, according to the Gervais
Star, the "poor widow's - cow" dom
inates the voting population of Ger
vais. The editor of that journal, look
ing dreamily out of his office window
one day last week in search of a topic
worthy of editorial mention, counted
"forty cows, all bunched together," in
accordance with the gregarious bovine
instinct, on the main street of that
town, chewing the cud of contentment.
Side streets are yet to hear from, but;
most people who have trodden the
thoroughf ores of towns wherein the
liberty of the streets Is- accorded to
the family cow in multitude, have a
mental picture of these which they
do not take pleasure in recalling.
Even the cows in the Instance above
noted were manifestly compelled to
vacate these side streets and alleys
for their own comfort it being "fly
time."
Mrs. Isabel B. Baker, a. conscien
tious, capable and faithful teacher in
the Portland public schools for nearly
a third of a century, finished her
course recently and passed on. Pupils
of the old North School, now the
Atkinson, knew her during most of
this long period of service. Mrs.
Baker was an instructor in the best
sense of the word one who gave the
personal touch to her work. The
service of thirty years, the value of
which cannot be estimated, stands to
her credit among the unwritten
archives of human endeavor. The
Illness that closed her contract with
life lasted for some months, and her
death was not unexpected.
The "interests" are said to be ac
tive in the public-docks matter. The
Interests usually have something they
would like to "unload" on taxpayers.
The non-political dodge has suc
ceeded so well in the past that it is
not strange that certain aspirants for
Judge wish to try it again.
It has been troublesome to find men
for Banker Morris' jury. It usually is
difficult to find men who are unpreju
diced about a bank wreck.
Secretary Ballinger certainly is car
rying out the Roosevelt conservation
policies when he calls his muckrake
detractors by the ugly word.
King Edward has presented $500
to each of Canadian quadruplets. He
will also have something to boast of
when he sees Roosevelt.
Wezler will escape hanging for the
murder of his mother-in-law. An
other mother-in-law Joke, apparently.
OREGON'S REW-COCJITY TROUBLES
More Taxes for More Officials.
Pendleton East Oregon.
Those who profess to believe that the
creation of "Orchard" County would
not increase taxation in the east end
country are asked to read of the effect
county division had upon the taxes E.
A. Schiffler pays on his Hood River
property. The creation of Hood River
County caused an immediate advance of
61.4 per cent in the ' taxes which Mr.
Schiffler has to pay. The last year his
property was in Wasco County his Hood
River taxes amounted to $85.50. The
first year of Hood River County in
creased his taxes to $138, an increase
of $52.50 on the same identical property.
This Is a fact that is shown by the rec
ords. It is not an "estimate" made for
campaign purposes. Before they Join
the movement for the carving up of
Umatilla County the people of the east
end and especially the farmers of that
section should count the cost that divi
sion will mean to them.
A Vxinjr Question.
Baker City Herald.
The Herald is in receipt of a roll
of circulars, printed in two colors, stat
ing that the citizens of Lane County
request the voters to vote against the
creation of Nesmith County.
In this section of the state the voters
know very little about the proposed
county and whether it should or should
not be created. If the people of some
section in Eastern Oregon should de
sire to have a new county created, the
voters in the valley would not know
whether to vote for or against the
measure. The state is so large and con
ditions so varied that the people of
one section do not know much about
another section. The creation of any
new counties in the State of Oregon
shoQld be postponed until the people
have placed upon the statutes of Ore
gon a law permitting only the voters
of the counties and district affected to
decide whether or not their territory
should be divided.
DlsMn tin faction In Umatilla.
Weston Leader.
Milton is reported to be "starting
something" again in th-5 way of county
division. . A campaign fund of $2000
has been raised, it is said, and S. D.
Peterson and J. P. Neal, attorneys, re
spectively, of Milton and Freewater,
apointed as campaign managers.
The Leader prefers to remain in Uma
tilla County, but has no objection to a
new county containing Milton and
Freewater only, if these towns find
their present political condition un
bearable. Milton Is a growing town
and Is readhing out after things. If it
must have a county seat, well and good.
But its attempt to annex Weston and
Athena to Williams or Orchard County
is a trifle too ambitious. These towns
are content to remain in old Umatilla.
Milton, by the way, should try to
cure Itself of this irritating "division
itch," and to devote Its energies to
further progress along legitimate and
praiseworthy lines.
HOMES. ARE SEEDED IN FORESTS
Conservation Should Not Prevent Cre
ation of Farms by the People.
Denver Republican.
Wherever there is a tract of agricul
tural land large enough to provide sub
sistence for a family, it should be placed
under cultivation. The only way in which
this can be done is by allowing it to be
acquired by homeseekers.
Pursuit qf this policy would result in
an Increase in the population of the
Rocky Mountain states and in a large
addition to the aggregate area of tax
able property. That would, however, not
be the only benefit. Were all the agri
cultural land within the National forests
occupied by homesteaders, the danger
irom lorest nres would be greatly re
duced. These small tracts of cultivated
land would act as breaks against the
spread of forest fires in case the latter
had not gained great force and headway.
They would also deprive the forest, of
some of their wilderness character, intro
ducing homes into vast areas now almost
wholly without inhabitants.
However enthusiastic for forest conser
vation the people of Colorado or any
number or them may be. they will wel
come a policy which will open the way
for more' home building and an Increase
in the population of the state.
Remedy for Print Paper Famine.
Chicago Inter-Ocean.
Herbert Knox Smith, Commissioner of
Corporations, says we may have a print
paper famine in the United States be
fore the end of the year. The produc
tion of print paper has fallen off con
siderably for various reasons in the last
six months.
On reading so doleful a suggestion one
instinctively asks, "What would be the
effect on the ever-increasing array of 10-
cent and 15-cent magazines? How could
they decrease their size and yet give the
public about what it has grown accus
tomed to expect?"
The substitution of intensive muck
raking for the present old-fashioned ex
tensive method should be the first step.
Extensive muck-raking Is a great waster
of print paper. Scientific, or intensive,
methods would make it possible to get
the same results from half the paper area.
Reflections of a Bachelor.
New York Press.
Cheerfulness is the art of concealing
your real feelings.
A man marries for domestic responsi
bility, and his wife gets it.
The way to have nonsense seem sen
sible to you is for It to be your own.
The servant problem is much nearer
home than the Government's foreign
policy, so we don't try to solve it.
You can tell a girl who has been en
gaged several times by how she seems
so innocent about what goes with it.
A Savlngj Also a Waste.
Houston (Tex.) Post.
Some idiot estimates that Governor
Hughes has saved $1500 in barber bills
by not cutting his whiskers. Yes, and
the newspapers now printing his pic
tures have probably had to pay four
times that much for the extra ink re
quired to make the whiskers show up.
Provocative of Profanity.
Houston (Tex.) Post.
"A gentleman will not say 'damn, "
declares a Louisville preacher. We do
not deny it, but how on earth can a fel
low express his convictions in moments
of emotion or when he contemplates
the greed and arrogance of the infamous
Republican party?
Forcing; a Handicap.
Lippincott's.
Diogenes returned from his search
for an honest man.
"Given up the chase?" they inquired.
"It became a matter of necessity," re
plied the philosopher. "Some one stole
my lantern."
Colonel Watterson's Mint Bed.
Washington Post. "
What with a freezing blast from the
West and the Roosevelt blight from the
East, these be parlous times for Marse
Henry's mint bed.
BOURNE'S PET COMMITTEE IDLE.
Oregon's Sentstor's .Efforts to Save
People's Money Fall to "Pan Out."
New Tork Tribune.
What has become of that monumental
agency of Federal retrenchment, the
Senate Committee on Expenditures? Its
creation was celebrated a year ago with
a magnificent flourish of trumpets. It
was to act as a restraining force on the
various committees of the Senate to
which the regular appropriation bills are
referred, to slice away extravagances
which had crept into those measures and
to discourage any extension of the Gov
ernment's present liabilities through gen
eral legislation. The membership of the
new committee was fixed at 20, more than
a fifth of the full strength of the Senate.
It included the chairmen of the other
leading committees having to do with ap
propriations and was considered to out
rank in dignity and quality, as well as
numbers, all the older committees. Its
work, it was predicted, would result in
retrenchment in the annual appropria
tions of anywhere from $30,000,000 to $100,-
000.000.
Yet there are investigators in Wash
ington who say that they cannot find a
trace of the committee's reforming activi
ties even with the aid of a searchlight.
There is no record so far of a noteworthy
reduction in the Senate of the appropria
tions voted by the House of Representa
tives. On the contrary, the Senate only
few days ago passed a river and harbor
appropriation bill carrying $10,000,000 more
than it carried when the House passed
it. Much of the extra money voted by
the Senate is for projects which the
Army engineers do not approve and which
the Administration would like to see
omitted from the river and harbor meas
ure. Whero was the Committee on Ex
penditures, with its 20 votes and Its all
powerful influence, when the Senate was
being importuned in behalf of local in
terests to add $10,000,000 to the amount
for rivers and harbors voted by the
House? Its members were evidently too
discreet to urge an embarrassing economy
in a flald in which evil precedents have
set the fashion of lavish Governmental
disbursements on the I-tlckle-you-and-you-tickie
me plan.
Private pension bills continue to pass
in each House of Congress by the' hun
dred. The Committee on Expenditures
has apparently not yet sought to discour
age special pension legislation, which
always Involves favoritism and irregu
larity and often has no other excuse than
to make private political capital at home
for an energetic pension-hunting Con
gressman. If rational retrenchment In
expenditure is to come, special pension
legislation and river and harbor Improve
ments of the compensatory sort must be
abandoned. Why shouldn't the Commit
tee on Expenditures begin to plant the
seeds of reform now?
SHAM IN PROTECTIVE! TARIFF.
Democrats' Are Engaged In It as Deeply
as Republicans.
Chicago Tribune.
The difference between the authorized
positions of the parties upon the tariff
is academic. There are high tariff Demo
crats as well as high tariff Republicans,
and the actual tariff is the result of a
complex of nonpartisan forces.
When the Democratic party had a
chance to put the tariff down it put the
tariff up, thereby performing a great
service to the plain people, who ever since
have realized that trie devotion of the
Democratic party to a low tariff is purely
Platonic.
Respecting legislation against privilege,
the situation is virtually the same. Sen
ator Bailey thrusts his left hand into
the bosom of his "Prince Albert," waves
his right hand toward the press gallery,
and thunders: "Upon great questions
which underlie the structure and deter
mine the character of this Government
all men who think one way must neces
sarily be Republicans and all men who
think the other way must necessarily be
Democrats." This out of the mouth of
a man whose plutocratic associations and
sympathies have been notorious will
make no Impression except to remind us
of the fact that throughout the battle for
progressive legislation Democratic lead
ers, as representatives of privilege, fought
shoulder to shoulder with reactionaries
and obstructionists among the Repub
licans. The Tribune apologizes for reiterating
these truisms. But if they are ignored in
Congress they must be emphasized else
where. The same struggle is going on in
both parties the struggle against privi
lege, the struggle to make the party or
ganization responsive to the party mem
bership, the struggle to make representa
tive government representative in fact as
well as in form, the struggle to broaden
and deepen the foundations of political
power, the struggle to make democracy
real. This is the test the American peo
ple are learning to apply to public men
and to party measures, and it is a test
the Republican party can accept with
better grace than their opponents. For it
can offer the practical progreBsivism of
its real leader, Theodore Roosevelt,, as
against the unpractical and eccentric lib
eralism of Bryan.
Boole for Marie Twain's Dying Hours.
New York Times.
Mr. Clemens had called for Carlyle's
"French Revolution." To what episode
in that tumultuous aggregation of epi
thets, that collection of strangely un
couth but often splendidly forcible de
scriptive passages, did his mind revert
in his last hour? It may seem an odd
book for a dying man to think about,
but there are moods to which it ap
peals strongly; the whole sum of hu
man life is between Its covers: It sets
forth as well as other great books the
vanity of worldly glory, the need of
charity. Clemens was a strong man,
and one of just principles, on the whole.
with a heart full of sympatny. it is
interesting to know that he often must
have found mental refreshment and
consolation in that greatest of . the
works of another strong and emotional
man.
Voice From Polk: County.
' Polk County Observer.
The Observer is among those who
who have long believed that the people
of Oregon would honor themselves by
erecting a statue to the memory of
James W. Nesmith, but it has extreme
doubts as to the propriety of giving the
name of the dead soldier and statesman
to a county with boundaries as zig
zagged as a scrap in a crazy patchwork
quilt. The question is one of business,
and should be settled on Its merits not
on mere sentimental grounds.
Where Apology Pays.
Mansfield News.
In his African stories Colonel Roose
velt makes from $20 to $40 every time
he apologizes for missing a shot.
CURRENT NEWSPAPER JESTS.
The Grovers have lost their cook."
"What was the matter?" "Grover listed
himself as the head of the family when the
census man was there." Chicago Record
Herald. "Did they do anything- to make the family
and neighborhood safe after your daughter
had the diphtheria?" "Oh. law, yes'm. The
doctors came and we had the house varie
gated." Baltimore American.
"You say she is no longer editor of the
Women's Corner." "No. She wrote so
many articles on how to mak over last
year-s hats that her readers began to sus
pect she was a man." Puck.
The Widow Oh. sir! My poor husband
has died, and I've chosen you to officiate at
bis funeral. The Preacher But, madam.
I never knew your husband. The Widow
That's why I chose you. Cleveland Leader.
First Horseman (bringing up the rear of a
large field) I thought you were going to
make the pace for us? Second Horseman
No fear, old chap! If en of that crowd
in front comes down. I'd ratheawbe on top
than at the bottom, thank: you. Punch.
"Lady," said Meandering Mike, "you're
thinkin' right now dat if 111 choo some
wocd or cut de grass you'll give me some
lunch." "Correct. You can go right to
work." "Oh. I ain't choppln' or cuttin.
I'm a mind reader an' was practlsln' a lit
tle." Washington Star.
LIFE'S SUNNY SIDE
A man died and went to heaven.
When he arrived at the pearly gates,
he said to St. Peter: "Well, I'm here."
St. Peter asked his name. "John Ev
ans." was the reply. St- Peter looked
through the book and shook his head.
"You don't belong here," he said. "But
I am sure I belong here," said the man.
"Wait a minute." said Peter. He looked
again, and in the back part of the book
found the name. "Sure," said the
guardian of the gate, "you belong here,
but you weren't expected for 20 years.
Who's your doctor?" American Drug
gist. Henry Watterson in the Louisville
Courier-Journal: The head waiter at
Voisin's told me this: Mr. Barnes, ot
New York, ordered - a dinner, carte
blanche, for 12. "Now," says he. "Gar
con, have everything bang up and
here's 75 francs for a starter." The
dinner was bang up. Everybody hi
larious. Mr. Barnes immensely pleased.
When he came to pay his bill, which
was a corker, of course, he made no
objection. "Garcon," said he. "if I ask
you a question will you tell me the
truth?" "Oul, monsieur, certain
ment" "Well, how much was
the largest tip you ever received?"
"Seventy-five francs, monsieur." "Very
well, here are 100 francs." Then, after
a pause for the waiter to digest his joy
and express a proper sense of gratitude
and wonder. Mr. Barnes came again to
time with, "Do you remember who was
the idiot that paid you the 7a francs?
"Oh, yes, monsieur; it was you."
.
A boy in Buffalo left school to go to
work for a small manufacturer.
He was dull and his stupidity an
noyed the manufacturer greatly. After
two weeks of trial the employer dis
charged the boy at the end of the week.
"You're discharged," the manufactur
er said: "Go and get- your pay, and
let that be the last of you. You're dis
charged." On Monday morning the manufac
turer was much surprised to see the boy
in his former place at work.
"Here!" he shouted. "What are you
doing in this shop? I discharged you
Saturday night.'
"Yes," said the boy, "and don't you
do it again. When I 'old my mother
she licked me."
A woman living "on the Hill" who is
known for her views regarding strict
keeping of the Sabbath, passed an open
lot one Sunday recently and saw a
crowd of men and boys playing base
ball. Calling one little shavfr to her.
she demanded to know what his father
would say If he knew his' son was play
ing baseball on Sunday. The young
ster looked at her with a smile and
said:
"Why, there he is right over there
playing thoid base if yer want ter find
out." Newark Star.
In one of Pittsburg's hot municipal
campaigns the issue was largely Sena
tor William Flinn, who, by one party,
was held responsible for everything
good.
vilnn woo " flrtntrncinr t that time.
of the firm ot Flinn & Booth. At a
mass meeting of colored citizens an im
passioned orator assailed Flinn, and
charged him with all sorts of high
crimes and misdemeanors, and in his
ecstasy of denunciation wound up with:
"An', I ast you, who was it what shot
down that great man, Abrum Linkum?
I ast you dat. It was Flinn."
"Hoi' on. Mistuh Speakah." broke in
a Flinn man. "It wasn't no man named
Flinn what shot Mistuh Linkum."
"Who was it, den"" shouted the ora
tor. "Booth."
"Well," yelled the speaker triumph
antly, "what's de diffrunce? It was one
of de firm." Saturday Evening Post.
DIVORCE WOMEN SHUN CENSUS
Nevada Supervisor Finds Fair Sojourn- .
ers Are Trouble-Malsers.
Reno Dispatch, New York World.
Determined to clear up the existing
misunderstanding among enumerators
In this city, Supervisor of the Census
for Nevada George Russell telegraphed
to Washington asking permission to
swear in two officers to accompany
enumerators in certain districts since
many of the divorcons withhold infor
mation about themselves. Some refuse
to give their names or to allow the
proprietors of the apartment-houses
where they are living incognito to do
so until their suits become matters of
public record.
"I have given the divorce colony here
considerable thought." said Russell.
"The enumerators have been instructed
to get the names of all of these. Of
course they duplicate on some of the
enumerators in the East, but when a
woman is here for a divorce and her
husband is in New York, she is his
wife until she gets the divorce; and
she isn't generally here after she gets
it. Her husband may give her name to
the enumerator in New York because
he is still married to her. Nevertheless,
Reno is these women's legal residence
and they must be counted. Conditions
have arisen in Reno that have never
confronted me in any other state."
Women who are nere simply to get
divorces still look on places in the East
as their homes, although they know
that only by establishing legal resi
dence here can they get the decrees
they seek. They are fighting hard to
avoid being counted as residents of
Reno.
' Cheap Watches Safe From Thieves.
New York Sun.
"It's a peculiar thing," said the head
quarters detective, "that with the in
crease in popularity of cheap watches
the number of reports which we have
received of watches stolen by pick
pockets has diminished greatly. No
first-class pickpocket tries for watches
any more. The same skill is required
to get away with a dollar watch as a
$100 one. So when the dips found they
were touching well-dressed men for
Imitations they gradually ceased trying
for them. The objective points now are
stickpins, which the crooks can ap
praise before trying for them, and
wallets, which they are willing to take
a chance on."
Pointed Paragraphs.
Chicago News.
Most love stories are white lies.
Many a man tries to stand on his
rights when he hasn't any.
One can't always disguise the breath
of suspicion by spicy talk.
Many a young man is- willing to
marry an heiress in spite of it.
How one woman doesn't enjoy hear
ing another woman praised.
Feminine Modesty.
Chicago Record-Herald.
The woman who is wearing a new $45
hat can't understand why people should
waste time or strain their eyes trying
to see a comet.
Amusements in Youngstown.
Youngstown Telegram.
Halley's comet is about the only real
big tjiing that the people of Youngs
town will see for less than $2.
Awful Possibility.
Houston Post.
Heavens! Will there be no Republicans
In the next House of Representatives for
us to shy a brick at?
To Attract Attention.
Springfield Republican.
, The surest way to attract attention just
now Is suddenly to take the next steamer
to meet Mr. Roosevelt.