lO
THE MORXIXG OREGOXIAX, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 13, 1910.
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PORTLAND. WEDNESDAY. APRIL 13. 1910
OIB "EASY" WAYS.
Our country is rapidly exporting
gold, because, as the New Tork Times
&ays, we prefer to make "easy" con
ditions by icsuing bonds and bank
notes, and parting with gold for the
premium offered for it by countries
not so -fond of the "easy" method.
That this will create difficulties after
a while, such as "we have .had hereto
fore, is well enough known, but the
knowledge has little deterrent force.
England, says the Times, "frankly
bids a premium for gold and gets it
from us because we prefer to put the
premium on Government bonds and
bank notes. Consequently our gold
circulation last month decreased $14.
000.000 and our National bank note
circulation increased $16,000,000. Why
should we regret this? England has
to bid up for the gold she wants, and
it Is coming high to her. We kno v
a. trick worth two of that. We are
building the Panama Canal at a cost
of several hundred millions of dol
lars, and until that is finished we can
never run short of money. The more
It costs to build the canal, the more
bonds we must issue, with the inci
dental advantage that we shall pro
vide ourselves with the capacity of
enlarging our paper currency supply
in proportion to the cost of the canal.
Is It not obvious that the more the
canal costs the better off we shall be
In money supply?"
Needless to say, there Is danger In
this course, since by it we inflate
prices and cause speculative move
ment at home, and work at the same
time toward a situation in which we
shall be obliged to get gold again at
any price. The Times satirizes our
proceeding by saying: "The larger the
National debt', the larger the supply of
bank notes and the greater the sup
ply of cheap money. Why regret los
ing gold for which others are will
ing to bid a premium when we can
supply the loss of it by making the
Panama Canal expensive and issuing
bonds accordingly?" In these sugges
tions there is plenty of matter for
bankers d.nd debtors and creditors and
speculators to think about, if they
will, surely, since the lessons of experi
ence are not all Inst, in course of events,
on all men. Intimation of the fact
now appears in the bidding, or failure
of the bidding. on the Broadway
bridge bonds of Portland. These
bonds will sell later: for the city of
Portland, a rising and growing and en
ergetic city, is behind them. But just
now financial conditions are such that
there Is disposition to wait a little,
till lenders and investors can become
well satisfied and assured that the
Bbility of borrowers to pay will prove
equal to their inclination to push their
various projects or undertakings.
Kecognition by our people of this con
dition or situation, as to money loans,
Investments and general financial pol
icy, is a necessity to our own wel
fare. Portland shouldn't now attempt
to sell bonds for any purposes beyon I
things immediately necessary. The
Mayor is right in withholding; requests
for tenders for dock bonds. We can
do without public docks for a time:
and It is questionable, indeed, whether
the municipality should ever invadw
or attempt to occupy this legitimate
field of private enterprise.
COAST fOlXTRV NEXT.
With the Hill and Harriman Rail
road systems operating under an
armed truce in the I'ugrt Sound and
Eastern Washington territory, with
construction work proceeding at top
speed In Central Oregon, and electric
and steam roads contending for the
business of the Willamette Valley, it is
quite natural that the Pacific Coast re
gions should next receive the attention
of the railroad builders. The fact
that Mr. O'Brien, the chief lieutenant
of the Hariman forces in the Pacific
Northwest, took an automobile ride
from Grants Pass to Crescent City,
Cal., does not necessarily mean that
lirf graders and tracklayers will -be
close on his heels. With the keen
competition for traffic, present and
prospective, it is idle to assume that
so rich a field for railroad exploitation
lying west of the Coast Range all the
w ay from the "Columbia River to Cali
fornia should be much longer neg
lected. Tho Harriman people overlooked
the possibilities of Central Oregon un
til the Hill forces marched boldly into
that neglected region, and the cost of
the, conflict that followed has been
enormous. Perhaps the lesson has not
ben unheeded, and the neglected
coast regions will receive attention
that Is due them. While la is a mat
ter of mild indifference to Portland
and to the country served whether the
railroad tracks are placed over the
mountains, around them or through
them. In their efforts to make that
Coast traffic accessible to the world's
markets, eventually a north-and-south
railroad line west of the Coast Range
and running from the Columbia River
south will handle to the best advan
tage the traffic of the Coast regions.
A line following as nearly as possible
the ocean beach would in many places
be very expensive to build, but it
would have the advantage of taking
out by a gravity haul all of the traffic
originating west of the Coast Range.
As a passenger route a coast line
would also present scenic possibilities
unsurpassed anywhere In America.
This coast line would, of course, be
exclusive of feeders that would cross
the mountains and supply facilities for
the interlying country, but the timber
tonnage alone is of such enormous
proportions that the economic advan
tages of a water-level line for 'moving
It will some day insure its construc
tion. With the possible exception of
Coos Bay, the numerous ports "lying
between the Columbia River and Eu
reka are too small for the large ocean
carriers which handle the over-sea
lumber traffic, and for that reason the
railroads will secure a haul of varying
length on practically all of it.
BE REASONABLE AND SETTLE IT.
Certainly. Stop it. Forbid on tire
East Side consent to use of streets,
so that railroads can't get into, the
city or over the river. Forbid it and
stop it everywhere. The city is big
enough. True, the streets, whose use
is wanted for the tracks, are worth
nothing at all as they now are, and
never will be worth anything, unless
the railroads get in and make all the
streets round about worth something.
But if we see a chance for a "hold
up," though it may be against our own
ultimate interest, why shouldn't we
employ it?
Nov, seriously, as to vacation of
streets, to be used for railroad pur
poses: It should be a matter of ar
rangement or compromise, a matter
of adjustment. For bridges to be built
the city desires from the railroads
certain concessions or easements. The
railroads desire the like on their side.
These matters should be adjusted be
cause they are adjustable. Is one of
the parties to hold up the other, or is
the whole matter to be adjusted?
What should sensible men do? Every
contention of this kind can be accom
modated, if only it Is approached in
the right spirit and the right way.
REPRESENTATIVE ASSEMBLY.
Is the rejection of representative
government, or representative meth
ods, necessary to maintenance of the
political rights of the people? It Is
so assumed by those who approve the
assembly representative system.
"The whole story of man," one of
these tells us, "is a struggle for en
larged political rights." Moreover, the
representative assembly, intended for
recommendation of candidates, would
"abridge these rights."
Xow, in fact, democracy cannot ex
ist without the representative 'system.
This system is its necessary means of
concentration and combination. It
tends to cprrection of the natural in
clination of democracy to split into
factions and even into units. The rep
resentative system is the salvation of
democracy.
Four men are candidates for Gov
ernor, in the name of a political party,
at the same time. Five men are can
didates for Senator. The vote Is di
vided; the candidates who get thr
plurality represent their own faction
only. What absurdity to try to force
the great majority into support of the
candidates of the small minority! Is
this the necessary method for main
tenance of the political rights of the
people? Well, it will not prevail.
The only way to avoid this absurd
and lame and impotent conclusion is
through the representative assembly.
Never was there any safeguard of
democracy till the representative sys
tem was hit upon and adopted. This
contribution to political science, and
to government by the people, has
come through the work and progress
of the English-speaking world. The
proposal for representative assembly
in Oregon to suggest the names of
candidates is perfectly In accord with
it. It is the only way to obtain rep
resentation of the people and mainte
nance of popular rights. A small fac
tion, nominating candidates by small
fractional pluralities, is based on ne
gation of the general rights of the
people: and it is an outrage when the
petty faction tries to whip in the
whole body of a party to its support.
The only remedy is through repre
sentative assembly.
NATIONAL COST OF INDIANS.
From 17S9 to 1909 the Government
of the United States spent $474,163,9-7
In caring for the Indians of the coun
try. Yet, according to sentimentalists,
the Government has robbed and op
pressed th aborigines during all
these years. The truth is that while
the Governments Indian policy has
not at all times been wise in the prac
tical sense it has always been most
generous.
There was no precedent for hand
ling the North American Indians. A
savage, slothful nomadic race, banded
together in powerful tribes, simple
minded, treacherous and cruel, they
impeded at every step, from the At
lantic to the Pacific and from the
Lakes to the Gulf, the progress of
civilization. Individual white men
have too often dealt with them with
cruelty and injustice, but the white
man's government has dealt with
them generously, if- at times severely.
From the days of Massasoit and
King Philip to those of Geronimo and
Chief Joseph the Government has
dealt with them generously whenever
their armed opposition to the ad
vance of civilization has been over
come. Perhaps the millions of dol
lars spent In carirg for them during
the 120 years have provided little
of permanent value to a vanishing
race a race of do-naughts and was
trels. But the money has been spent,
nevertheless, according to methods
that at the time seemed wisest and
best; and still the Indian problem Is
with us.
OIUXiON APPLES.
In his annual report to the State
Board of Horticulture, President New
ell predicts a heavy crop of fruit this
season. The common observation of
orchardists confirms his anticipations.
On trees of all varieties the fruit buds
are surprisingly numerous, and un
less circumstances should be excep
tionally adverse there will be an
abundant crop. ,
But what is the advantage of an
abundant crop unless it can be sold
at remunerative prices? It Is safe to
say that outside of a few highly or
ganized districts, such as Hood River
and the Medford territory, the fruit
men of Oregon will not receive half
w hat their crop is really worth. The
reason for this great loss will be the
absence of co-operative packing and
marketing. Sections are known where
the growers of fairly good apples re
ceive 60 cents or a dollar a box for
them. They are repacked by the mid
dlemen and sold to the consumer for
two dollars and even more.
Of course, such conditions are the
fault of the growers themselves. They
can blame nobody else. But they are
discouragingly slow to understand the
causes of their difficulties and incred
ibly reluctant to organize.
Had the fruit men of Oregon been
thoroughly united in co-operative ef
fort the circumstance which caused
the opponents of the Lafean bill in
Washington so much embarrassment
would not have happened. Relying
on their faith in the integrity of Or
egon orchardists, they boldly as
serted that the common box of apples
would be found to contain a full
bushel, as it honestly ought. The
boxes which they themselves packed
measured out four heaping pecks; but
when they went out into the market
and tried those which had been sold
for bushels, they fell short In every in
stance. This will never do. A bushel
must be a bushel for every apple
grower in Oregon, or the reputation of
the whole state will suffer, and the
market for fruit from this section will
be impaired. It will also suffer if the
apples shipped East are good some
years and not so good lh other years.
Mr. Newell notes that last season Ore
gon apples fell below their reputation.
When this has happened once or twice
more the reputation wlil be gone and
it will take years of effort to restore
it. The only preventive of calamities
of this sort is thorough and complete
organization.
EXPENSIVE fXtoOMf.
The House of 'Representatives has
voted out of the navy appropriation
bill the provision for continuing work
on drydock No. . 4 in the New Tork
yard, and the Puget Sound and Pearl
Harbor docks. This action, taken pre
sumably on the grounds of economy,
would prove decidedly expensive if an
emergency should arise requiring the
services of a modern drydock. "There
Is a strange contradiction in the action
of the House of Representatives in
providing funds for the construction
of more big battleships and then de
clining to provide the vitally necessary
drydock accommodations which these
big ships require.
Drydock No. 4, which is the only
dock on the Atlantic Coast that will
accommodate the Arkansas and Wyo
ming, has been under construction
since 1905, and In that five years the
requirements of the service and the
limitations of . Congress have been
such that an enormous investment
has been in idleness for more than
two years, and unless Congress recon
siders Its action, will continue so In
definitely. Even more serious is the
neglect to provide drydock facilities at
Pearl Harbor, 'which was selected by
the United States Government as its
main Pacific base. It Is universally
admitted by war experts of two conti
nents that the Pacific Ocean will be
the scene of the next war, and if there
Is a conflict, this country would cut a
sorry figure with its main naval base
undefended, and not equipped with
drydock facilities. It is almost equally
imperative that the drydock facilities
on Puget Sound be made adequate for
the class of vessels which these dry
docks would be expected to handle In
case of war. In the matter of econ
omy Congress quite frequently pro
ceeds to an alarming extent on the
"penny wise and pound foolish" sys
tem.. THE MAYOR ANT THE FOERTH.
The Mayor's position on the ques
tion of Fourth of July fireworks is
exactly right. "I am absolutely op
posed to the celebration of Independ
ence Day by the explosion of dan
gerous fireworks," he declares, and It
Is to be hoped that the City Council
will take the same stand. Since all
fireworks are dangerous this means
that the Mayor is opposed to the entire
system of murderous hoodlumisni
which has converted the National hol
iday Into a season of terror and a
reign of destruction. There ought to
be no shooting on the Fourth of July
except orderly volleys by the militia
under the command ft their officers.
No firecrackers ought to be exploded
on the streets. Such instruments of
misery as torpedoes, roman candles,
pin wheels and all that tribe should be
banished. Fireworks properly man
aged by capable experts are -a pretty
spectacle and need not be dangerous
to life or property, but in the hands
of the tough and the small boy we
know too well .what they accomplish.
Death, mutilation and burning build
ings follow in their wake.
The time has come when Portland,
as well as other cities, should cease to
treat the Fourth of July scandal as a
jest. It is a serious matter and it
should be dealt with by serious regu
lations. Hoodlumisni has been per
mitted to take its annual tribute of
life and property under the pretense
of patriotic fervor long enough. It is
now proper for common sense and
decency to have an inning. The
small boy and the drunken rioter can
love their country as vigorously as
there is any occasion for if they are
forbidden to throw firecrackers in the
faces of peaceable citizens and wound
spectators with bullets. What the
better class of Americans want on the
Fou.rth of July is an opportunity to
commemorYe the Nation's independ
ence with beautiful and truly patriotic
exercises. They desire a programme
which appeals somewhat to the intel
ligence and does not disgust the edu
cated taste. Moreover, they wish to
be allowed to walk along the streets
without risking their lives. The Coun
cil will gratify nine out of ten of the
"intelligent citizens of Portland by car
rying out the Mayor's wish for a
"sane and safe Fourth of July."
IMPROVEMENTS IN THE CONGO.
The news that Leopold's successor
on the throne of Belgium is to make
some changes in the administration
of the Congo country is encouraging.
Nothing could be more frightful than
the past conduct of the Belgian gov
ernment In that unhappy region.
Hence, if anything is altered it will
necessarily be for the better, but nat
urally the world will not trust too
much to the promises of the new mon
arch. Leopold himself made prom
ises in the early days of his power,
and they were brilliant ones, too. His
performance will go down in history
among its wildest horrors.
We are now assured that a large
section of the Congo country is to
opened to free commerce. This is
pretty well, but one cannot forget that,
under the treaty which gave the
land over to Belgium, the whole of it
was to be open to free commerce for
ever. It is also well that no forced la
bor is now to be required of the natives
except "for their own benefit." Bet
ter still would it be to require no
forced labor whatever of them. To
compel them to work looks harmless
as long as they receive the proceeds,
but It is an insidious method. No
body can tell how soon It will degen
erate into peonage or downright
slavery.
The record -of the Belgians in the
Congo has been a black one, but the
blame for what has happened there
belongs to the whole civilized world.
It is from the nations acting in concert
that Leopold received his authority
to rule and ruin the Congolese, and
they had the unquestioned right to
Interfere at any time. Unhappily
none of them cared enough for tha
principles of justice and Christianity
to do so, and the iniquity ran Its
course until death cut it short. If
the new King of Belgium really wishes
to improve upon his predecessor, it
will be ah easy task and all man
kind will encourage him to carry it
through.
Statements of conservators of our
resources to the contrary notwith
standing, the United States is not the
only country in which wealthy men
buy large tracts of timber when it is
cheap and sell it as the price ad
vances. . A Vancouver, B. C, dispatch
announces the sale by the British Co
lumbia branch of the Weyerhaeusers
of 76,000 acres of timber land on Van
couver Island for a consideration of
$4,000,000. The tract contains 5,000,
000,000 feet of timber, and was pur
chased by the Weyerhaeusers at about
one-fourth the figure for which it has
just been sold. Of course the Weyer
haeusers should have sold this land at
the same price they paid for it. for the
price mentioned represents some mil
lions of "unearned increment." Yet
the railroad company which secured
the greater part of the land as a grant
In payment for building the road
through that wild region was well
pleased to get rid of the then worth
less timber at the insignificant price
at which it was originally sold.
Unless something happens to break
the monotony of the news, Portland
will soon have a reputation for "come
ons" and "easy marks" that will com
pare favorably with that of New York,
sometimes known as "Yapville on the
Hudson." Here is a part of the rec
ord for the past 48 hours: A stran
ger enters a bank and talks the gulli
ble safe deposit man Into handing
over $5000 in gold; a recently arrived
Dakota farmer Invests $800 In the an
cient "liquor cure" gold brick; an
other new arrival hands over $80 to
the artists who are working the ven
erable "express package" gag, and a
local youth loses $800 to a swindling
bookmaker. These are the principal
tricks that have been turned, but w ith
so much easy money lying around, it
is highly probable that the old-lock
trick, the phony racing tip, and all the
rest of the stock equipment of the
"sure thing men" are in use.
Viewed from a strictly economic
standpoint, it is perhaps a matter of
regret that Bandit Robinson was only
wounded, instead of ""being killed by
the excellent aim of Citizen Sheldon,
last Saturday night at East Thirty
seventh street and Broadway. As an
object lesson in the" unprofitable na
ture of the hold-up game, however,
Elmer Robinson, living with an Irre
movable scar on his face, and a pain
ful recollection of what happened just
prior to his coming term in the peni
tentiary, may be worth more than El
mer Robinson dead. In view of the
fact that the hold-up man has incom
parably the best of the situation, when
he attempts his crime, it is not the
slightest reflection on a man's bravery
if he promptly obeys the highway
man's request. For that reason, the
public service rendered by Mr. Shel
don is all the more praiseworthy and
commendable.
The Interstate Commerce Commis
sion has ordered a material reduction
in the Pullman car rates. The reduc
tion also provides a differential in
favor of the passenger who is obliged
to occupy an upper berth. Naturally,
this order, If enforced, will affect the
revenues of the Pullman Company,
but the public still wonders who will
make up the deficit. The porters
have had their salaries paid by the
traveling public for so long that it
would seem Impossible for the Pull
man Company to effect any further
saving. In this direction, although "it
might be possible to insist on the port
ers paying the company something for
the privilege of "holding up" passen
gers, with a whisk broom. If the
sleeping car monopoly lives up to its
reputation, it will find some- means
by which the threatened decrease in
earnings can be offset.
It would seem that Colonel Roose
velt has his scheme for pacification
of Europe well mapped out. He is to
have the Emperor of Germany meet
him in London-and arrange matters
with King Edward; and it is under
stood that he has telegraphed to King
Edward that just as soon as he shall
have settled certain matters In Aus
tria, and fixed things up at Paris, he
will be off to London, where the King
has been directed to reserve apart
ments for him at Buckingham pal
ace. The King, with his auto, is to
meet him at the station. The Colonel
Is reported to be rather sorry that he
lingered on his hunting trip so long.
Had 'he come back sooner as an apos
tle of peace, he might have stopped
the construction of many a Dread
nought, in either hemisphere.
Should the "ducking stool" be re
vived? This is a question that seems
to be pertinent just now. Within a
week warrants have' been issued for
the arrest of two women for figliting
and abusive language; and still an
other has been - taken Into custody
upon the complaint of a neighbor for
her scolding proclivities, backed by the
statement of her husband that she Is
beyond his controK The. old records
furnish ample evidence tjjat the duck
ing stool dealt effectively with cases
of this kind.
Representative Clark, leader of the
minority in Congress, replying to Can
non on Monday, said, "If his party
were given the opportunity it would
endeavor to realize the suggestion of
Senator Aldrlch, that the expenses of
the government might be curtailed
$300,000,000 annually." The word
"endeavor" is good. Expenses' of the
government will steadily increase, no
matter which party or what party may
control it.
Boise Valley orchardists are ship
ping in oil by the dozen carloads.
Smudging is becoming part of the
commercial scheme as much as spray
ing. Gifford Pinchot Would better have
stayed at home and nursed up that
Ballinger inquiry.
There are' other ways for a census
man to find out a woman's age, so
that she might as well out with it.
Comet pictures may be like circus
posters which generally fail in the
promised largeness.
Maybe T. R. will tell Kaiser Wil
helm he ought to run and be elected.
The Big Stick, the world!s greatest
apostle of peace, is altogether logical.
Rl'GBY THE GAME FOR COLLEGES
This "Writer Quote Authority; One
Theoretic, One Practical.
ALBANY. Or.. April 12. To the editor.
President David Starr Jordan, of Leland
Stanford Jr. University, is quoted as
follows In the April number of .the
American College:
"In 1SW, at the height of the football
obsession in California, the president
and committee on athletics of the two
universities notified the students that
no form of football having mass play
would be gain permitted. The stu
dents then , adopted the Rugby game.
It has been tested for five seasons and
it Is wholly satisfactory to all con
cerned. The game demands a much
higher grade of skill and alertness. It
is far more interesting to watch. It
is interesting to the players. It Is a
sport and not a battle. As with base
ball, so with Rugby, each player must
know the game. It. is played not In
armor, but in cotton kneebreeches. and
there have been in five years no In
juries of any consequence.
"The game is now played In the uni
versities and colleges of California and.
Nevada. It attracts (perhaps unfor
tunately) larger numbers of spectators
than the old game ever did. It is now
played in most of the leading high
schools of California.' It is firmly and
permanently established on the Pacific
Coast unless, as in the East, It is modi
fied to suit the purposes of professional
coaches. It seems to me that our ex
perience in California should be worth
something to our colleagues in the
East."
The writer is reminded of the com
ment of an old -football captain whom
he had heard spent much of his first
season as a Rugby player In "roasting"
Rugby. This expert player expressed
lis final judgment as follows:
"I'll tell you, in the old game you
practice with the coach and learn your
lesson, and the game is just merely
reciting what you - have learned from
the coach- In Rugby every man, has
to be a live, independent player all of
the time. There is simply no compar
ison between the two games."
. To overcome this man's prejudice and
reverse his enthusiasm required most
of a season at Rugby, but the work was
thoroughly done.
F. G. FRANKLIN.
THEY REGX'LATE BILLBOARDS.
St. Lonls Has an Ordinance That Stood
the Supreme Court Test.
St. Louis, Mo., has a municipal ordi
nance covering billboards which reads
in part as follows:
Hereafter no bill board having; 25 square
feet or more of surface shall be erected,
altered, replaced or reconstructed! without
a permit frcm the Commissioner of Public
Buildings, nnd the manner of construction,
location and dimensions of such billboards
shall be subject to the approval of the
Commissioner of Public Buildings in ' ac
cordance with the provisions of this section.
. , No blli board hereafter erected,
altered or replaced or reconstructed shall
exceed 14 feet in height above the ground
and every such bill board shall have an
open space of at least four feet between
the lower edge and the ground, which
space shall not be closed in any manner
while the bill board stands; nor shall any
such billboard approach nearer , than six
feet to any building, nor to the side line
of any lot nor nearer than two feet to any
other billboard, nor shall any such bill
board exceed 500 square feet in area.
The validity of this ordinance has
recently been sustained by the Missouri
Supreme Court in an action following
a permanent injunction obtained by the
Gunning Advertising System in the Cir
cuit Court against the Commissioner
the Mayor and the Chief of Police.
The following excerpts are taken
from Judge Woodson's opinion:
The signboards and billboards upon which
those classes of advertisements are dis
played, are constant menaces to the public
safety and welfare of the city. They en
danger the public health; they are also
unartistlc and unsightly; In cases of fire
they woi:ld cause their spread and consti
tute barrier against their extinction and in
case of hirh wind, their temporary charac
ter, frail structure and tiroad surface, ren
der them liable to be blown down and to
fall upon and endanger those v. ho may hap
pen to be In their vicinity. The amount of
good contained in this class of business is
so small In comparison to the great and
numerous evils thereto, that It has caused
me to wonder why some of the courts have
seen fit to go so far as they bave in hold
ing statutes and ordinances of this class
valid. My individual opinion Is that this
class of advertising, as now conducted, is
not only subject to control and regulation
by the police power of the state, but that
it might be entirely suppressed by the
statute and that. too. without offending
either against the State or Federal Con
stitution. In these observations it seems
to me the rendering of the New York Court
in the case of the People ex rel. Murphy,
is unsound in holding the ordinance there
under consideration, invalid because it was
class legislation. An ordinance Is not class
legislation because It embraces within its
provisions all structures of the class or
character existing in the said limits anil
for that reason It could not be discrimina
tory against the plaintiff for its property.
The White llnuar Boyd.
From Washington Letter to the Brook
lyn Eagle.
The difference in the personality of
the Taft boys and the Roosevelt boys is
quite as marked as is the gap between
the methods of their distinguished par
ents. "When the Roosevelt boys were
home, everybody knew it. They made
the great corridors of the White House
resound from attic to basement with
noisy demonstrations.
The Taft children take their pleasure
more moderately. Robert has gone back
to college, but Charley lingers in Wash
ington. He slips around the White
House and through athe executive offices-
in a quiet, shy" way and disturbs
no one. Charley Inherits from his
father a smiling, beaming countenance.
His father has nothing "on him" when
it comes to the Taft smile.
Boverldice on Tariff.
Brooklyn Eagle.
We are to have laws making clothing
and creature comforts cheaper, protect
ing wages and manufacturers, and
taking the tariff out of -the way of
business. A more powerful appeal to
the imagination could hardly be ad
dressed. As to the laws themselves,
when "they shall be written" is not
stated, but prices will be fixed by act
of Congress, a policeman will accom
pany every workman home on pay day
to' protect his wages, and the tariff
well, what is to be done with that is
respectively referred to radioactivity.
Perhaps it is to be vaporized.
Mntea Denominational Strife.
Cleveland Leader.
Theodore Roosevelt is not more thor
oughly American in anything than he
Is in his deep dislike of denominational
strife and bitterness. He shuns and
condemns sectarian hostility, and he is
intensely In earnest in his desire to
keep out of religious controversies, es
pecially In everything that bears upon
his position as a public character, a
great force in National affairs.
The Census Man.
Xew York World.
It was a lady spare and sour
Who opened her front door.
To find a youth, whose dusty suit
An air of business wore.
She tartly snarled. "No, not today!
You peddlers make me tired. .
I want no corn salve, soap nor lace."
"Your age. ma'am?" He inquired.
"How Insolent! If you don't leave,
I'll tell you what I'll do
I'll call old Tige In from the barn.
He'll make a meal of you."
"I've put you down as twenty-three,"
The stranger blandly said.
"Oh. add another twelve to that!"
She vainly tossed her head.
"And these? Your brothers? sisters? Six?
He asked, with flattery fine.
"Land I "I've been married fifteen years!
These and two more are mine."
f
She answered queries on his list.
Then said in tone polite:
We're eatin dinner. John's to horn.
Step in and have a bite."
The census man went on his way
The next high stoop to 'climb.
"A little honey." chortled he,
"Will catch them every time."
FRENCH VIEW OK MR. ROOSEVELT
Estimate of HI Character, on Ml.
Election to the French. Academy.
A translation made by Major Alfred F.
Sears, of -this city, from the Nouveau
Monde.)
It is known of old that the French
Academy opens its doors to foreign
statesmen who, by writing, action or
speech, have enacted an important part
in the world of affairs. Thus Theodore
Roosevelt comes to be elected a mem
ber of the Academy of Moral and Po
litical Sciences. Previously notified, the
former President of the United States
had sent to the Academy all his works
on sociology and history. The new
academician is universally known. His
celebrity excuses us from noting the
evolutions of his incomparable career.
It is Interesting to note that the Acad
emy, which on a former occasion was
congratulated on the election of Gen
eral Bonaparte on -his return from
Egypt, has now designated Mr. Roose
velt for the respect of the elite of the
Intellectuals of the Old World.
Theodore Roosevelt Is at once an en
ergetic man and a thinker. When he
writes and when he speaks he has pre
pared himself for work; then he gives
forth Tils ideas. He believes firmly
that "each generation contributes to
the work of progress." He declares
that the "school of pessimism has
manifested Its inability to Judge men
and contemporaneous events." Mod
ern life appears to him "beautiful and
exciting." He declares that "man has
never had before him so vast an open
field for action as the present," and,
further, that "the frreatest victories are
yet to be gained and the finest actions
are to be realized.."
He continues: "It is said that the
history of a happy people has not been
written. This is a low inaccuracy.
Thrice happy are the people who have
a glorious history, because it is worth
more to accomplish great results, to
obtain great triumphs, though they
were interrupted by incidents of defeat
or misfortune, which take rank with
poor spirits, who never enjoy much nor
suffer much because they Jive in a pale
twilight, which Is neither victory nor
defeat." ,
Finally, Mr. Roosevelt has resolutely
declared that, "while war is a great
evil. It is not the greatest of evils," and
also that "peace is not the sovereign of
blessings. Civilization has suffered
more with the celebration of certain
treaties of peace, aa for example that
which permitted the hecatombs of Ar
menia, than It would have suffered by
a war." "For a nation, as for lndividi
uals, the essential virtues are the vir
tues of character"; and he has shown
us ancient Greece and the Roman em
pire succumbing through feebleness of
character. For the North American ex
President, "moral energy is more im
portant than instruction."
The patriotism of Theodore Roosevelt
Is sane. "As National progress results
from individual progress," he says, "so
also there can be no progress of the citi
zen save with the progress of the Na
tion." He adds: "Let each one clean
before his own door and the city will be
clean." Cervantes could not have made
Sancho Panza say a plainer truth.
Publicly he has given these truths to
the people of the United States: "That
the country be great morally. It Is nec
essary that it be strong morally. There
are those who are willing that the coun
try should be' too weak to avenge a
wrong, and that this, debility meet it at
the beginning of a difficulty, thanking
the scornful piety of foreign nations. This
Is villlfying the Nation. A strong Army
and a strong Navy are necessary." And
also: "We are a great people. We have
to represent a great part; we have no
choice; all that we can say is that we
will act that character, for good or 111."
Mr. Roosevelt has not only given coun
sel and written substantial works, as for
instance the "History of the American
Navy In 1S13 a Struggle Against Eng
land." "Lives of Thomas Benton and
Governeur Morris," "Conquest of the
West" and "Ideal American and His
tory of New York," but he has governod
also with extraordinary brilliancy dur
ing six yeans a Nation of 90,000,000 souls
(of 100.000,000 if we include the colonies).
He has built up for the great North
American republic a formidable Navy,
which will probably preserve the Pacific
Ocean to the white race. He has created
a general staff of the Army in Washing
ton, D. C. that will care for the defense
of the American Continent against the
yellow races. An able diplomat, he has
prevented the shock of arms between his
country and Japan; a shock terrible and
Inevitable. against which the United
States now has time for. preparation. He
has equally been able to stop the war
between Russia and Japan, and for that
merits the Nobel prize for peace.
"
The new member of the Academy is
not the first North American to whom
the French institution has conceded a
seat. Another President of the United
States, Thomas Jefferson, obtained this
honor. He had represented his country
in Paris, where his ideas produced a
sensation. He was born in Virginia in
1801. Afterwards came Bumford, born in
Massachusetts, elected In 1S02. Mr. Liv
ingston, - born in Clermont. N. Y., elect
ed In 1S33, and finally. Mr.' Newc'omb, a
distinguished astronomer, born in Nova
Scotia, and made director of the observa
tory in Washington, IX C.
As to Latin America, it has been rep
resented in the French Institute by Pedrq
de Aicantare, the name modestly assumed
by Pedro II, Emperor of Brazil, born in
iRio Janeiro; then Don Carlos Calvo. the
Illustrious jurist, the renovator of inter
national rights, former minister of Ar
gentine in Paris, and finally Jose Maria
de Herdis, poet of the conquerors and
without an equal In the beauty of his
style as a writer.
At the present time, Saxon America is
represented by the Duke of Loubet, the
Mecanea of archeologists, born -In New
York and elected to the academy of In
scriptions and belles lettres a few years
ago.
For the rest, a man well designed for
the Academy is the Baron de Rio Branco,
of Brazil, who has practised the policy of
arbitration par excellence, to the ad
vantage of his country, and who lives
as one of the fine figures of diplomacy
of the times. The talents, character and
the services to the world of the Baron
' de Rio Branco are admired by all, and
he now counts many partisans in the
Academy.
To conclude. Mr. Roosevelt is expected
shortly in Paris, where he will lecture in
the Sorbonne, to which there will be no
lack of auditors. When he comes into
the session to occupy his seat, all his
colleagues will be able to repeat without
adulation the celebrate phrase, "Nothing
lacks In his glory; he was lacking to
ours."
The Or! urinal YegKnuui,
Memphis Commercial Appeal.
Tho origin of tho word "yegg" hag
often puzzled criminal etymologists. As
near as can bo discovered by criminal
research of police archives and the ver
bal lore of tho under-world, there was a
man named John Yegg1, living1 In the
Middle West, some years ago, about the
time the Federal Government was ex
perimenting with nitro-glycerine. Yegg
was an electrician, who got along well
enough as a youth, but In his later days
drifted to "the bad- At this time he had
already achieved some distinction as a
safe-blower, and he is said to be the first
cracksmen who ever used nitgo-glycerine
as a means of safeblowing". He was the
first to devise a means for practically
using the fluid, and others who followed '
were called yeggTnen after the dis
coverer of the process.
And He Always Kinds 'Em.
Birmingham Age-Herald.
Colonel Roosevelt is looking for hor
nets nests in any land he visits.
LIFE'S SUNNY SIDE
- "How brave!" exclaims the wife, after
her husband, at the hushed hour of 3
A. M- has told her of his desperate .
resistance of three highwaymen who
had attempted to hold him up only a
block from home. "I did not dream you
were so courageous. How does it hap
pen that you dared to give them battle
when any uiher man would have yield
ed weakly or would have run away if
he had the chance?"
"My dear explains the husband. "I
had Just finished nerving myself to
meet you and explain what kept- me out
so late and when I am in that frame
of mind 1 11 defy anything." Life.
The bookkeeper answered the phone.
Is this Wilkins market?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"This is Mrs. Johnson. I want you
to know that the liver you sent over
today was extremely unsatisfactory. It
was not calf's liver at all. Calf's liver
Is always tender, and there is no mistaking-
"
"Just a moment, madam. I will call
the proprietor."
"What is it?" Wilkin asked.
The bookkeeper surrendered the
phone.
"Mrs. Johnson," she said. "Liver com
plaint." St. Louis Dispatch.
"When Willie's father came home to
supper there was a vacant chair at the
table.
"Well, where's the boy?"
"William is upstairs in bed." The
answer came with painful precision
from the sad-faced mother.
"Why, wh-what's up? Xot sick, is
he?" (An anxious pause.)
"It srrieves me to say, Robert, that
our son your son has been heard
swearing- on the street! I heard him."
"Swearing-? Scott! 111 teach him to
swear!" And he started .upstairs in
the dark. Halfway up he stumbled and
came down with his chin on the top
step.
When the atmosphere cleared a little
Willie's mother was saying- . sweetly
from the hallway: "That will do, dear.
You have g-iven him enough for one les
son." Judge.
Friend So yours was a case of love .
at first slarht?
Mrs. Getthere Yes. indeed: I fell
desperately in love with my dear hus
band the moment I set -eyes upon him.
I remember It as distinctly as if it
were yesterday. I was walking- with
papa on the beach at Long- Beach, when
suddenly papa stopped, and. pointing
him out, said: "There, my dear, ts a
man worth ten millions." New York
Weekly.
An amusing story Is being told, in
social circles in London about a young
American woman who was anxious to
be presented at a certain European
court. Of course, the high officials had
to make inquiries about her social
status in her own country, and pro
nounced their veto. It could not be
done. The daughter of a man who sold
boots and shoes could not be received
by his majesty at a royal court. The
girl was in great distress, and promptly
cabled home to her father. Next day
she received the following reply:
"Nonsense. Its not selling. Am sim
ply giving them away. See advertise
ment." The cablegram she duly presented in
the proper quarter, and, although the
ending did not seem quite clear to the
official mind, it was held to solve the v
diffiiculty. So she was presented at
court as the daughter of an American
gentleman who was noted as a great
philanthropist. New York Herald.
"What is the meaning of the word
Easter?" said William J. Kelley, at the
Lambs Club.
No one could answer the question,
and Mr. Kelley went on:
"Nobody in New York reads the Bible
now. Ignorance of the Bible and of
biblical things is amazing.
"Not long ago, at a dinner, I got into .
a biblical argument. When the argu
ment was over a young woman said:
"I enjoyed that discussion splendidly.
But, do you know, I always thought
that Sodom and Gomorrah were man
and wife?
"Another yoims woman commented:
" 'Oh, well, I suppose they ought to
have been, if they were not.' " New
York Telegraph.
Potent Amerieno 'Siting.
Cleveland Plain Eealer. -American
slang deplored by the piirlsts
and reversed by literary anarchists re
mains the joy of the unregenerate reader,
and waxes ever richer and more pic
turesque. Its full value, hpwnver. ha a
not been fully realized. Sporting editors
and short story writers have flung weird
words with wild abandon, but only to
vitalize anemic English, or to entertain
the reader with language puzzles.
It remained for O. Henry to discover a
new use for slang. And it is a serious
use. In one of his stories he makes of
our mose esoteric slang a National code.
Two Americans want to communicate
with each other In a Central American
republic at a time when all telegrams
are censored. They cannot use English
or Spanish, for fear of detection, and
have no cipher prepared. So one of them
telegraphs to the other in "the great and
potent code of slang." This Is what he
says :
"His nibs skedaddled yesterday per
jack rabbit line with all tho coin in the
kitty and the bundle of muslin he's
spoony about. The boodle Is six figures
short. Our crowd in good shape, but we
need the spondulicks. You collar it. The
main guy and tho dry goods are headed
for the briny. You know what to do."
Officials were unable to fathom this
crymUc message. If you are a true Ameri
can, and understand your native tongue,
you should have no difficulty with it- Aa
a sample of our inmost patois, it is
worthy of all admiration.
The Servant Problem.
Washington Star.
"How about that new servant?" said
Mr. Crosslots.
"Going to quit," replied his wife. She
says we haven't the conveniences she's
accustomed to p a household." .
"Why, we just put in a silver-plated
gas range and a marble sink."
Yes. But she says she'll have to have
a. grand piano instead of an upright."
Pay, Pay, Payl
Boston Journal.
No doubt the operators will eventually
agree to increase the wages of the coal
miners. Then tliey will increase the price
of coal.
CURRENT SMALL C1LVXOE.
Teacher What can we do with our use
less organs? Little Eben Trade "em for
phonographs, of course. Puck.
"Come on swimmln. I'll show you sorre?
new Btrokes." "Nope; lnt time I went dttJ
showed ine some new ones. Houston Post.
"A fellow accumulates a lot of Junk go
ing through college. ' "Referring to the
classics or pipes and pennants?" Birmiiig
hame Age-Herald.,
"You may be surprised, after we are mar
ride, to find how much things cost. he
warned her. "Oh, I don't know." she sahl.
smiling. "I used to clerk in a delicatessen
store." Buffalo Express.
Philanthropist Will you subscribe $5 la
help a poor man who is troubled with lo?.i
of memory? Financier No. I won't. A lost
memory is as good as a fortune these days.
Life.
"What makes you .wear your automobile
goggles to the theater?" asked the caretully
dressed young man. "Those aren't automo
bile goggles; they're hat-pjn-proof armor."
Washington Star.
"Has young Gamboge given up "Oh.
no." "But he looks so prosperous and I
haven't seen anything he has painted for
a long time." "He has quit painting and
is now a highly successful designer and
froeter of wedding cakes-" Cleveland Plain
Dealer.