rORTLASI), OREGON.
Entered at Portland. Oregon, PostofTlce ai
second-class Matter.
Subscription Kates InrnrlnblT In Advance.
(By Mail )
Pally. Sunday Included, one rear JS 00
lny. Sunday Included, six months 4 .-
Dally. Sunday Included, three monthi!.' 2 -5
Dai.y. Sunday Incluiled. or.e month 75
Lnl!y. Ithnut Sundav one v-ar. fl no
gwlly. without Sunday, six mor.t hs . . . I '. '. 3 25
ully. without Sunday, three months... 1.75
tally without Sunday, one month M
Weekly, one year . mo
Sunday, one year " jso
Sunday and weekly, one year.. '. 3 bo
(By Carrier.)
rlly. Sunday Included, one year .... BOO
l-ally. Sunday Included, one month 75
How to Itentlt Send portorcic-e money
Z..J', IPrf" order or personal check on
b"n- Stamps, coin or currency
5T-. ht 'ender-a rt.k. (5Ue p.,.tn(t:ce ad-
t. . '. ""'luiiintt rountv and state.
, " " H panes, l cent; 18
ax ?J"LV'"- - '": :1" o fnges. 3 cents:
Soub?e ratJ1."8"- "nt yTla P"tage
Paster BuMness Office The S. C Tterk-'
Rn r.,KP"''hlL AR'n-y New Tork. rooms 48
oo rr.t.une bunding. Chicago, rooms 310-512
rlliune buildiu.
rORTUXD, TTESUAY, J1XV
long.
A NECKSSART DISTIXCTIOX.
Some one says: 'The Oregonian lives
In the past. It is reactionary. It
would stop human progress. It would
bind us down to the rules and ways of
antiquity."
Friends and men and brethren, you
who are trying to push ail modern
fads and flighty notions to adoption
as first principles, don't make that
mistake about The Oregonian. This
paper is "modern," in every proper
sense of the word. They who don't
think so they who think they are
more "modern" than The Oregonian
will find their mistake, if they try to
supersede it, or cut it out, or do with
out it.
But the present owes most of what
it has, or what it is. to the past; and
The Oregonian shows those who read
it that modern notions or whims,
though they may have in them an
element of leaven, for the germina
tion and development of ideas for the
present and future time, nevertheless,
must be restrained must not be held
or pushed so presumptuously as to
cut men loose from historical exper
ience, and, through mere desire of
Innovation, cause them to reject all
the chief heritages of the human race,
written in the constitutions of states,
and evolved from experience with
the problems of society and govern
ment, these many ages.
But don't suppose or imagine for a
moment that The Oregonian though
adhering to these principles 14 not
sensitive to every suggestion or move
ment of a rational kind that promises
Improvement and progress, or that it
Is not as ready as any for adoption
of such. But it doesn't accept every
Bhallow Innovation for a measure of
reform.
In Oregon we have gone too far.
The Oreionlnn ttssolf ..
.. ... . . . JPaia ago
conceded too much. That was be
cause, on the one hand, it saw it was
useless, for the time, to resist the
movement, and on the other because it
had a mistaken belief, expectation
or hope, that there was or would be
so much consideration and self re
straint on all sides that the r.ew
methods would not be pushed to ex
tremes, but would be used only on
rare occasions for remedial purposes.
That was a fallacious hope. Individ
uals, and groups, it is found, seize the
opportunity to push their vagaries of
every description keeping the state
in continual agitation, uncertainty and
uproar. A means provided as a check
or remedy now is insisted on as a
means or method of complete super
8edure of the fundamental law, with
authorization of attack on the muni
ments of property, and on rights in
general, which constitutions are or
dained to establish and to preserve.
Hence it Is necessary now to be con
tinually on guard against social and
political revolutionaries, who .And
nothing to restrain them, and who are
continually sharpening their knives
against their country and its laws.
Oregon is an unfortunate example
unfortunate for herself, yet an ex
ample for the fortune of others.
What Oregon has done checks the
progress of this revolutionary and de
structive action in other states; since
others note the example and. take
warning from it. A written consti
tution is necessary for a state. But
Oregon has none, in fact; scarcely even
the shadow of one. Now it has come
to pass that when a judge on the
bench pronounces against an act for
its unconstitutionality, as Judge Gal
loway lately did in the matter of the
Crater Lake road, he is denounced for
the act. is told there is no constitu
tion that courts or citizens are bound
to observe, and that these old fossil
or mossback regulations are of no
account anyhow.
AVe shall put Oregon on a sane
basis again, after a while. It may re
quire less time than some think; for
there Is a spirit of recoverv In the
public mind that sometimes moves as
fast as the revolutionary action that
has preceded it. Nothing in human
life, nothing in the constitution of
human society, is fixed and settled, in
perpetuity. Of human institutions
the Roman Catholic Church comes
nearest that definition or distinction.
But it claims divine ordination, Vet
..nj, iuc apini oi ine ages.
No one expects human laws and in
stitutions to be absolutely fixed or un
changeable. But radical and revo
lutionary methods, reversing first prin
ciples, of government, and opposed
to human experience, through methods
of innovation, are not methods of re
form. 'The distinction never should be
misunderstood.
INCONSISTENT TARIFF TINKERS.
The Oregonian has always been op
posed to the tax on grain bags. As
was stated by Senator Jones In offering
his amendment placing them on the
free list, the cheap labor employed in
the manufacture of these bags at Cal
cutta makes it impossible for us to
meet foreign prices with American
made bags. It would require a most
onerous and almost prohibitory duty to
shut out the foreign bags, and the bur
den Is already excessively heavy with
out increasing it. The subject, how
ever, offers an interesting side light on
the Inconsistencies of the entire tariff
question. For example, it is recalled
that a few weeks ago effort was made
to secure admission duty free of Ca
nadian grain. As there are a hundred
consumers of grain to every one buyer
of grain bags, it would naturally seem
that "the greatest good for the greatest
number" would require co-operation
of farmers In securing free grain, Just
as they desire to secure free grain
bags. But it ls of course, not on rec
ord that Senator Jones made a plea
for the wheat consumers who were
seeking to reduce the pressure on their
I pocketbooks caused bv the abnormal
j scarcity of wheat stocks in the United
fetates. The sentiment among: farmers
Is practically unanimous in favor of re
tention of a good, stiff duty on grain.
It is also unanimous in favor of admit
ting grain bags free of all duty.
The people are with the farmers on
the free-bag question, but the parting
of the ways comes with the demand
that grain also be admitted free. Per
haps the most peculiar feature of this
inconsistent attitude of the farmers
lies in the fact that the only time it
has ever been possible to import wheat
Into the United States, with or without
paying duty, was when farmers' sup
plies had been exhausted and there
was no more wheat for sale in the
United States. The tariff question
throughout is an admirable illustration
of the difference It makes whose ox is
gored.
ONE ri ZZI.E ON ANOTHER.
Whether one thinks of society as an
organism or as an association of or
ganisms, makes little difference. It is
a mysterious compound, whose move
ments puzzle the wisest. Public opin
ion is scarcely ever conscious of Itself.
The reason perhaps Is that the vast
majority of men and women are actu
ated, as to their words and deeds, by
habit, and therefore are almost wholly
unacquainted with self-direction and
self-restraint. Legislation, therefore,
that seeks suddenly to exact of the
public a greater capacity for self-guidance
or self-restraint than it is capa
ble of cannot but prove ineffectual.
Attempts to prohibit sale and use of
liquors furnish a good Illustration of
this principle; for, in those states or
cities in which prohibition is supported
by public opinion in other words,
where there Is no demand for drink
it operates advantageously. But where
it is not so supported it operates as an
instrument of equivocation and black-,
mail. "What can laws avail without
customs?" asked Horace, two thou
sand years ago. It is a question for
every stage of human society.
In all lawmaking the temper and
temperament of the community are
first to be considered; certainly
should be; but It is not always done.
Hence the blunder of enactment of
laws that are "misfits," and merely
neglected. Likewise the assertion of
the equality of men. It is a fine the
ory, does honor to the goodness of hu
man nature, and seems to have in it a
progressive principle. But it will not
"work out." It breaks down at all at
tempts to make practical application
of it. For men are not equal; they
are most unequal In talent, in sta
tion, in opportunity. Tennyson's line.
In "Locksley Hall," is an everlasting
answer to the futility of this claim of
equality: "Charm us, orator, till the
lion is no larger than the cat."
Even man, therefore, do what he
will, can't escape the laws of natural
evolution; and human society is gov
erned by them. But the discovery and
application of these laws is the
subtlest study in the world. We know
little of the moving forces of our own
age till they are interpreted by the
movements of those that follow; and
Ferrero's great book on Rome, now
the talk of the world, owes its celebrity
to brilliant use of this method. Soci
ety as an organism is scarcely less a
puzzle than the origin of life itself.
REPRESENTATIVE CUSHMAN.
The loss of Representative Cushman,
should his death unfortunately occur,
will be difficult for the State of Wash
ington to retrieve. Cushman has a
unique and very interesting personality.
He has been in Congress ten years. He
has taken a position among the leaders
of the lower house, through his genial
humor, native good sense and gentle
persistence. Cushman has a reputa
tion as a "funny man," but he has not
lost prestige or influence by it, be
cause he has -had the rare Judgment
to refrain from relying on witty
speeches or sharp repartee to make
a reputation. He has risen to speak
only on infrequent occasions in the
House, but he has never failed to be
heard, for he always had something
to say, and he said it well, even bril
liantly. Withal, Cushman has had a
real desire to render solid service to
his district and to his country, and he
has succeeded.
Cushman was in Congress long
enough to gain an important station
such a place. Indeed, as can be se
cured only by experience and capacity.
The southwestern district of Washing
ton can hardly hope to do so well in
his successor.
AGAIN THE WATER-LEVEL GRADE.
When the locating engineers for the
Northern Pacific Railroad were run
ning lines through to the Pacific, about
thirty years ago, they were much less
particular in the matter of grades and
curves than the men whose names now
adorn the engineering department's
payroll. The early engineers may not,
as is sometimes charged by their suc
cessors, have run their lines around
large stumps In order to avoid the
work of grubbing them out, but th'ey
paved the way for a very heavy and
unnecessary fixed charge that could
have been greatly lessened by a little
more care in selection of the route.
It was a new, wild country that lay
through and beyond the Rocky Moun
tains and the Bitter Roots when these
lines were run, about thirty years ago,
and neither the engineers who made
the locations nor the higher officials
who approved them had the faintest
conception of the vast changes their
line was destined to make on the com
mercial map of the West.
Lewiston, Idaho, at the head of nav
igation on the Snake River, was a
good, solid town many years, before
Spokane Falls, as the Eastern Wash
ington metropolis was first known, was
anything more than a crossroads set
tlement. All roads led to Lewiston in
those days. Steamboats followed the
water-level grade up from Portland,
and batteaux and. the pack train fol
lowed the water courses down to meet
the steamers at Lewiston. The line of
least resistance was followed because
the facilities for doing otherwise were
missing. The pack trains were still
running from Lewiston up the Lolo
trail and through the easy grade of
Lolo Pass Into Montana when the
Northern Pacific engineers made their
final locations for the road to the
coast. But the engineers had Just
scaled the Rocky Mountains at Mullan
Pass, where it was impossible to avoid
an expensive switchback, and later a
tunnel, a'nd tney seemed afraid of the
Bitter Root grades leading in and out
of Lolo Pass.
The main line of the first northern
transcontinental railroad was accord
ingly swung away to the north, and,
skirting the eastern slope of the Bit
ter Root Mountains to Pend d'Orellle
Lake, it made a detour of the lake and
then again swung south to Spokane.
THE MORXIXO
1 rri i . . . .
j. ne locating engineers nad dodged the
Bitter Roots, but the detour added
many miles to the length of the road
and levied against that particular di
vision a very heavy fixed charge which
could have been avoided by going
l through Lolo Pass. To this feat of
primitive engineering Spokane owes an
overwhelmingly large portion of her
prestige today. The matchless water
power of the city and the country
tributary would naturally have called
for the existence of a city at that
point; but, had the mad rush which
the Northern Pacific Is now making to
get a line through Lolo Pass taken
place when the road first came West,
Lewiston. and not Spokane, would to
day be the metropolis of the Inland
Empire. All of the wonderfully rich
country in the Clearwater would have
been settled and developed and would
today be turning out an enormous
traffic for the railroads, and the large
tonnage now moving out of the great
Coeur d'Alene mining district would be
carried out over a water-level haul.
Traffic moves in and out of Lewis
ton over water-level grades. It can
neither get in nor get out of Spokane
except over heavy grades. Portland's
particular interest in this railroad
storm center at Lolo Pass lies in the
fact that the building of the road and
its radiating branches among the trib
utaries of the Clearwater will add
more miles to our rapidly Increasing
system of water-level transportation.
The commercial map of the Pacific
Northwest would have today presented
a strikingly different appearance had
the railroad engineers followed- the
pack trains over the easy grades thirty
years ago- It requires no deep knowl
edge of economics to understand that
the effect of these overdue changes
will be in evidence less than thirty
years hence.
WORSE THAN CHINESE AND APES.
After all, it does not require much
sense to make a racket. Strain his
throat as he will, a man cannot yell as
loudly as a pig can squeal. The well
considered bray of a donkey surpasses
the peal of a cannon firecracker. In
the matter of noise, the mightiest ef
forts of the hoodlum and the idiot are
but futile compared with the easy feats
of Nature's untutored children in the
sty and barnyard.
The Chinese are the only people In
the world who celebrate their festive
days as we do that is, by deafening
themselves with crude din- If the apes
In the African forests had firecrackers,
doubtless they would use them much
as we do. Those enlightened beasts
imitate our celebrations in all other
respects, or we imitate them. Certain
ly, if we have not taken our fashion of
commemorating the natal day of the
country from the apes, we have bor
rowed it from the Chinese. Both the
material of our festivity and the fash
ion of using it come from the almond
eyed Oriental. Seeing how deeply we
despise him for his useful qualities. It
is rather surprising that we should
condescend to imitate him where he is
most disagreeable.
HISTORICAL JCSTICE.
The discouraged brethren who say
there is no such thing as Justice in the
world meet with a fact now and then
which rather upsets their conclusion,
though, as a rule, they will not admit
It. To be thoroughly and perpetu
ally discouraged is a luxury which, a
man who has once experienced it is
often reluctant to renounce. The re
view of the life and work of Thomas
Paine, published in the London Times
on the hundredth anniversary of his
death, was an instance, in point.
Paine's memory has been subject to
unmitigated obloquy for a full cen
tury. Those who knew, the truth
about his noble life and important
influence on the course of events, both
in the United States and France, had
reason to think that prejudice and
malice had gained a permanent vic
tory over justice. Now comes the
highly conservative Times and gives
an account of the Impetuous radical
which appreciates all his good points
and shows that many of his sup
posed bad ones were imaginary. The
Springfield Republican wonders a lit
tle that such a tribute to such a man
should have excited no protest among
the conservative classes of Great
Britain, but upon the whole, there is
good reason to believe that thought
and its expression are somewhat less
hampered in England than they are
here. A man who takes the unpopular
side in. a British periodical runs less
risk of indiscriminate abuse than he
would in this country.
The article in the Times Indicates
that the public is no longer satisfied
with the estimate of Thomas Paine
which was furnished by his enemies.
For a long time it was deemed almost
irreligious to tell the simple truth
about this most maligned man. Even
today there are people who speak his
name with bated breath, as if it were
as near blasphemy as it is to mention
the devil, but in the main prejudice
has relented astonishingly, and the
nation which he served so well has
reached the point where it is not
afraid to treat the memory of its
benefactor with common decency. In
the course of another hundred years
we may possibly pluck up spirit to cel
ebrate his anniversary properly, in
stead of neglecting it as we did on the
eighth of June. "Only here and there
did anybody in the United States
seem to remember that Thomas Paine
died on that date, a hundred years ago.
In spite of the increased attention
we pay to the fame of our great men,
Americans have not yet reached the
point where they can properly be
called a nation of hero worshipers.
With the exception of one or two
statesmen, like Lincoln and Washing
ton, the departed great are treated
with scant honor by us. Their mem
ories do not perish, to be sure, but
neither can they be said to live a
very vigorous life. Thin and wan is
the existence they drag out within
the covers of school books. Once In
a while a historical novel galvanizes
them into a fantastic semblance of
activity. For the rest, they sleep In
peace, and If their deeds do follow
them, it is not with much of our help.
The Springfield Republican thinks we
are doing better than we did years
ago, in the matter of commemorating
our departed heroes. Perhaps we are,
but we can do a good deal more of it
without incurring the charge of Idol
atry. On the spur of the moment,
without consulting a cyclopedia,- how
many readers of this discourse can teU
who Joseph Henry was? Not many,
one ventures to predict, and yet the
world accounts him one of the great
est geniuses yet born on these rock
ribbed shores. All who remember
who Wlllard Glbbs was and can
answer at once without referring to
, the book, may raise the right hand.
jno nanus are visible, or, at most, but
one or two. For all that, Willard
Glbbs is better known in the universi
OREGOXIAy. TUESDAY.
ties of Europe than any other savant
we have produced. His work in the
fundamental theory of heat was of the
highest rank.
President Lowell, of Harvard, won
dered the other day why it was that
scholarship was not more honored in
our colleges. Neglected as learning,
is in those sanctuaries of the intellect,
it is still more neglected outside them.
Eminence in literature, mathematics,
physics and so on, will be esteemed
by college boys whenever their par
ents set the example. As long as we
ignore our geniuses while they ar
alive and hasten to forget them as
soon as they are dead, we cannot ex
pect college boys to think brain work
is of any great value. They are more
likely to accept the opinion that brains
are of less consequence than money,
because money can buy them. It can
buy them, as a matter of fact, some
times and for some purposes, hut not
always. Suppose somebody should
propose to celebrate the next birthday
of Simon Newcomb with poems, tin
horns and firecrackers. Every citi
zen of the United States would smile.
In France, however, and in Germany,
too, such, proposals are made and car
ried out, time and again, every year.
To be sure, they do not use firecrack
ers and horns, but we are a youthful
people; and if we do such things at
all. It must be In the manner of
exuberant childhood. Simon Newcomb
Is our greatest living man of science.
He has been honored and decorated
by almost every learned society in
the world. Why would it be unbe
coming for us to make a little fuss
over him here at home before he is
dead? Some people say that our neg
lect of all distinguished men except
pollticiai.s Is a defect in our civiliza
tion. It indicates a narrowness and
perhaps a grossness In national life
which we may outgrow when we have
passed that obstreperous youth which
we are always talking about as if it
excused every folly we commit and
atoned for every fault.
The cause of temperance received
another good boost up In Morrow
County last week, when a paroled con
vict, after filling his worthless hide
with whisky, started to shoot up the
town. lone, scene of the disturbance,
Is in the center of the wheat belt, and
at this season of the year there is al
ways a good demand for harvest la
bor. The presence of too many low
class saloons In the adjacent towns
has not only prevented the farmers
from keeping their help on the farms
with any great degree of regularity,
but it has also been the cause of a
great many of the laborers return
ing to work after a debauch In town,
bo incapacitated that it would require
several days of rest before they could
work. As for the drunken convict
who started the trouble, his surplus
energy should be directed to hard
labor at a state Institution for a few'
years.
"We need to know how to keep the
good and forget the wrong," said John
D. Rockefeller to the Cleveland Sun
day school scholars. The great diffi
culty encountered by the lawyers who
recently subjected Mr. Rockefeller to
a rigid cross-examination was In get
ting him away from the latter part of
that precept. The manner in which
he could "forget the wrong" which he
was charged with doing whenever any
of his competitors fWere involved, was
stoical in the extreme. As for know
ing: "how to keep the good," no one
ever accused the Oil King of letting
go of anything that answered that de
scription. The principal -complaint
which the world has against Mr. Rock
efeller is that he has kept too much
of the "good" and forgotten the
"wrong" he has Inflicted on other
people.
Th output of cheese at Tillamook
this year is expected to reach a total
value in excess of $500,000. Cheese is
not very bulky freight and "$500,000
worth would hot afford very much
traffic for a railroad. Viewed from
another standpoint, however, the value
of the business is somewhat different,
for $500,000 can buy a great many
train loads of freight which will be
shipped into the country.
A rich placer gold strike Is reported
three miles from Vancouver, B. C.
There must be something' wrong. No
steamship company can make money
transporting gold rushers three miles,
and who ever heard of a mining strike
news emanating in that part of the
globe without the steamship compa
nies being the chief promoters of the
story?
It's a new thing ror taxpayers to
have a representative as Mayor of
Portland. Yet those citizens who vote
the taxes, but pay them not, should
not take it sorely to heart; they need
prosperous taxpayers.
Although the bigger the city the
higher the cost of living, cities like to
be big, with consumers of food and
raiment in their census, rather than
with producers of those articles in the
country.
Mr. Harriman's disease is now said
to be "partial paralysis of the legs."
And Mr. Harriman has not been wear
ing out his legs where he ought to
build railroads, either.
The Sunday preachers prayed for a
safe and sane celebration and then it
rained and wet the firecrackers. The
weather is doing a lot for prayers
this year.
Binger Hermann is now boomed for
Mayor of Roseburg- That ought to
Induce Mr. Heney to tell whether he
Is going to prosecute Binger or not.
It begins to look, for President
Taft's sake in the tariff mess, as if
Bwana Tumbo ought not to have hied
away to the lions and the giraffes.
There is plenty of rain. If Colonel
Hofer can bring rain by praying for it,
everybody should be encouraged to try.
Since he can bring it, who can't?
Few care when the "grown-up boys"
who celebrate, blow off their fingers or
their heads; they meet that end too
seldom.
When lamenting yesterday's weather
just make yourself happy with the
thought that you were not at the
beach.
It always knows when to rain in
Oregon; this time it shut off most of
the firecrackers. Trust the rain.
The old settler's rule, never cut hay
before the Fourth of July, has had
another vindication.
JtTLY 6, 1900.
THE CORPORATION TAX.
nenon Why It Should Be Rejected j
and Stamp Taxes Substituted for It.
The following careful and temperate
statement of objections to the corpor
ation tax is presented by the Chicago
Tribune:
(1) It would mean inequality in taxa
tion. A corporation carrying on a par
ticular business would be taxed, while
a partnership or individual carrying
on the same business would be exempt.
A man like Mr. Carnegie, with his for
tune in bonds, would escape, while
the Incomes of thousands of small
stockholders in big and little corpora
tions would be cut down.
(2) It would be double taxation In
the case of corporations which are
taxed by states or municipalities on
account of the special privileges which
the National Government did not con
fer, but which It is now proposed to
tax.
(3) The tax would be inimical to the
interests of. the country in that it
would discourage the use of the con
venient corporate methods of carrying
on business. The business of the coun
try Is largely transacted by corpora
tions, not merely by the great ones
which are in the public eye. and with
which the public is sometimes angry,
but also by tens of thousands of
smaller ones which never are com
plained of and which should not be
specially taxed because they do busi
ness in a particular way.
(4) That while .he Federal super
vision of corporations engaged in In
terstate commerce, which has often
been urged by President Taft. may be
desirable, anything which looks in
the direction of Federal supervision
of corporations doing. 'an intrastate or
purely local business is not durable.
They should be regulated, if they need
regulation, by the states that created
them.
(5) The tax would not yield revenue
during the years of deficit. While the
President Is convinced of its constitu
tionality, the question would he taken
into the courto and would not be dis
posed of offhand.
(6) Senator Aldrich says the tax will
be only a temporary one, for Its con
tinuance would destroy the protective
system because of .the great revenue it
would provide. It is harder to repeal
such a tax than to impose it. Congress
would be reluctant to surrender a tax
whose proceeds ministered to Congres
sional extravagance.
These are some of the objections to
the corporation tax. To stamp taxes,
which would bring in revenue at once,
because their constitutionality is un
disputed, there would be no popular
objection. They would take care of
the deficit which would come in the
wake of the Aldrich bill. They would
be widely distributed, equitable and un
felt. They should be substituted fot
the corporation tax.
That the tariff bill will not product
enough revenue Is Senator Aldrich'a
fault. He has loaded It down with
prohibitive duties. If they were low
ered Importations and revenues would
increase. To that he and the Sena
torial majority which stands behind
him will not consent. So there has to
be some new tax.
Millionaire Vanderbilt's River Palace.
American Register, London.
Alfred Vanderbilt's new houseboat,
which has been built at Oxford, has' been
conveyed to Shiplake, near Henley-on-Thames,
and here the American million
aire will entertain his friends for the
various regattas that will take place on
the upper reaches of the Thames during
the next two or three months.
This new river palace Is, it is claimed,
the finest craft of the kind ever con
structed in England.
The boat and Its tender are 132 feet
long, 17 feet in beam and nearly 25 feet
high. The main saloon is paneled with
polished mahogany, and lighted, heated
and ventilated electrically. There are
four bedrooms, each with a bathroom.
The dining and smoking rooms are on
the top deck, with portable paneling for
dismantellng when negotiating bridges.
The tender is equipped with the most in
genious French cooking requisites and
an elaborate hot water system.
The boat will be furnished lavishly, but
the bedrooms, like the exterior, are paint
ed ivory-white. All the ground floor
rooms are provided with bay windows.
Officio! Spanking for "Kid" Sinners.
New York Times.
Although she said that she had whipped
her son already, Mrs. Kaufman, of 235
East Eighty-first street, told Justice
Olmsted, in the children's court, that
since it was his sentence, she would be
very glad to spank the boy over again
in court. She retired to a private room
with 15-year-old Samuel and a strap and
when she returned to the courtroom both
Samuel and the strap were the worse for
wear. The occasion of Justice Olmsted's
sentence was that Samuel and two
younger boys had been caught playing
craps in the street and Samuel had ad
mitted that he took 10 cents from his
mother's purse without her knowledge in
order to finance the game. He said he
didn't think It was stealing. George
Kardraus and Morris Rosenbaum. the
other youthful gamblers, also got whip
pings In court. To end up the day
Justice Olmsted saw to it that four smali
boys caught selling streetcar transfers
were whipped by their parents.
Dollar a Month tor Food.
Boston Dispatch to New York Herald.
One dollar a month is all that is
necessary for food, according to experi
ments conducted by the Gluten Club of
Amherst College students which have Just
been completed. Even- Dr. Horace
Fletcher could not reduce the cost of
living below 30 cents a day.
Lawrence Roberts, of Utlca. N. Y.. is
responsible for the experiments, which
have been conducted by 12 students. The
diet consisted of gluten, mixed with water
and cooked in many different styles.
Sometimes they enriched the gluten prep
arations with milk.
There were gluten cakes, soup of glu
ten, water, onions and beef bone marrow,
gluten potato mash and sweet gluten
cakes, scrambled eggs, coffee, ice cream,
gluten bread, gluten tortoni. and steak
cooked in gluten crumbs, with many other
fancy dishes added, the expenses averag
ing about 4A cents a day a man.
Lightning's ftoeer Pranks In Indiana.
South Bend, Ind., Dispatch.
Thomas Himebaugh, plowing near War
saw, Ind., was overtaken by a storm.
Lightning killed both his horses,- tore his
trousers from his right leg, jerked the
shoe from his foot and split his big toe.
On the farm of Albert Bloom, near AVar
saw. during the same storm, three horses
were killed instantly, while a little colt
between them in the same part of the
barn was uninjured.
Industrial Evolution.
Puck.
As lazy as po'try-wrltin- a Sucker was
loann" roun'.
When out come a Dace, a-,kitln', an"
gobbled that Sucker down.
Sez I to the Dace: Tarnation! my friend,
but I'm on to you;
You're floatin' a Corporation with plenty
of water, too!"
Then up flashed a Trout a dandy! an'
opened his mouth so wide
That down went the Dace like candy, with
all that he had Inside.
Ses I, as he tuk hla ration: "Now, isn't
that Trout Jest great?
He's foutln' a Com-bl-na-tlon or Limited
Syn-di-cate!"
I rigged up my flshin'-tackle, an' cast on
the ripplln' flow
An "ibis" an- "silver hackle." which landed
the Trout Jest so!
I et him that noon for dinner, an' laughed
till I nearly bust
A-tellln' myself: "You sinner, I guess
you're a Wicked Trustf"
MR. DOOLEY" DISCUSSES THE TARIFF QUESTION
Aflr.h 7',',?RK.,hC 17.nCl?"1 Item- n free List, the Archey Road Phllos
n,,hten" Hl Fr,e Henessjr on the Patriotism of the I ulted
..to- ,BY F p DUNNE,
well, sir." said Mr. Dooley, ""Us a
grand wurruk thim Sinitors an' Con
gressmen are doin' away undher th'
majestic tin dome iv th" Capitol thryln'
to rejooce th' tariff to a weight where
it can stand on th' same platform with 1
me frind big Bill without endangerln'
his life. Th' likes iv ye wud want to
see th' tariff rejooced with a Jack
plane or an ice pick. But th' tariff
has been a good frind to some iv thim
boys an' It's a frind iv frinds iv some
iv th' others an' they don't Intend to
be rough with it.
"Me Congressman sint me a copy iv
th' tariff bill th' other day. He's a
fine fellow that Congressman iv mine.
He looks afther me lnthrests well. He
knows what a gr-reat reader I am. I
don't care what I read. So he sint me
a copy iv th' tariff bill an' I've been
sturyin' it fr a week. 'Tis a fine piece
iv Summer llthrachoor. I'm In favor iv
havln" it read on th' Foorth lv July in
stead iv th' Declaration iv Indypind
ance. "Iv coorse low cordld people like ye,
Hinnlssy, will kick because it's goin"
to cost ye more to Indulge ye'er taste
in ennervating luxuries. Ye'd think th'
way such as ye talk that ivrything Is
taxed. It ain't so. 'Tis an Insult to
th' pathritism iv Congress to say so.
Th' Republican party with a good deal
iv assistance fr'm th' pathriotic Dimmy
crats has been thrue to its promises.
Look at th' free list. If ye don't believe
it. Practically ivrything nlclssry to ex
istence comes in free. What, fr ex
ample, says ye? I'll look. Here It is.
Curling stones. There I told ye. Cur
ling stones are free. Ye'll be able to
buy all ye'll need this Summer f"r
practically nawthin'.
"What else? Well, teeth. Here it
is in th' bill: Teeth free Iv Jooty.'
Undher th' Dingley bill they were
heavily taxed. Onless ye cud prove
that they had cost ye less thin a hund
herd dollars, or that ye had worn thim
fr two years in Europe, or that ye
were bringin' thim in fr scientific pur
poses or to give to a museem, there was
an enormbus jooty on teeth.
"What other nlclssities. says ye?
Wen, there's sea mom That's a good
thing. Ivry poor man will apprecyate
havln' sea moss to stir in his tea. News
papers, nuts an' nux vomica ar-re free.
Ye can take th' London Times now.
But that ain't all be anny means.
They've removed th' Jooty on Pulu. I
didn't think they'd go that far, but In
spite iv th' protests lv th' Pulu
foundhries iv Shehoygan they ruthlessly
sthruck it fr'm th' list iv jootyable ar
ticles. Ye know what Pulu is, of coorse,
an' I'm sure ye'll be glad to know that
this refreshing biv'rage or soop Is 'on
th' free list. Slnitor Root in behalf iv
th' Pulu growers iv New York objicted,
but Sinitor Aldhrich was firm.
"There was a gr-reat sthruggle over
canary bur-rd seed. Riprisintatlves lv
th'. Chicago packers insisted that in
time canary bur-rds cud be taught to
eat pork chops. Manny Sinitors thought
that th' next step wud be to take th'
jooty off cuttle fish bone an', thus
sthrike a blow at th' very heart iv our
protlctive system. But Sinitor Tillman,
who is a gr-reat frind iv th' canary
bur-rd an" is niver seen without wan
perched on his wrist which he has
taught to swear, put up a gallant fight
fr his protegees an' thousands iv ca
nary bur-rds sang with a lighter heart
that night. Canary bur-rd seed will
be very cheap this year an' anny Amer
ican wurrukin' man that keeps a
canary bur-rd needn't go to bed hungry.
There ought to be some way lv teachin'
their wives how to cook it. It wud
make a nourishln" dish whin ye have
whetted ye'er face on a piece iv cuttle
fish bone. It is btther fr th' voice
thin corned beef an' cabbage. I'm sure
that th' reason American wurrukin
men don't hop around an sing over their
wurruk is because they are improperly
fed.
.v'ell, sir, there are a few iv th'
things that are on th' free list. But
there are others, mind ye. Here's some
THE TAXI-TYPEWRITER.
A Dime in the Slot Dud Itse It for SO
Mlnntesw
New York Sun.
The new taxi-typewriter scheme has all
sorts of possibilities. If a man happens
to be lazy he can have the machine
wheeled up into his room in the hotel
these pay-as-you-begin typewriters are to
be found chiefly In hotels and then he
can go to work doing up his correspond
ence at his leisure.
There are many men who do not care to
dictate to hotel stenographers and they
would ever so much rather write their
own letters, but hitherto they have been
unable to get conveniently the use of a
writing machine.
Not all of them can make use of the in
genious scheme of the penniless young
man who got his start as a secretary by
getting a man to dictate letters to him
and then making the rounds of the type
writer company offices pretending that he
wanted to buy a machine and 'writing out
a letter in each office as a test of the ma
chine he was supposed to be trying out.
The thing makes it appeal, too, to au
thors and writers who haven't the price
of a typewriter. Of course, at 30 minutes
for 10 cents it Is not so cheap as hiring a
machine at 14 a month, but then it can be
put aside when not wanted, and is not
costing money when It Isn't In use.
One hotel corridor the other day was
enlivened by the sight of a young man
gravely copying off the written manu
script of some story that apparently soon
was to start the rounds.
The presence of the taxi-typewriter in
the hotel corridor has much the same ef
fect as the various shows at Coney Island.
Just because it's there folks are tempted
to spend money on It.
A young man and a young woman were
walking through a hotel the other day
and they saw one of these devices.
"Can you write on a typewriter?" she
asked, and the young man replied proud
ly that he could.
So he spent 10 cents to prove to the
young woman that he could. Of course,
all of the typewriter clientele isn't like
that. Mostly they are hard-headed per
sons who hire the machine because they
really have business correspondence they
want to eet off.
Won't Sacrifice His Career to Love.
Paris Dispatch.
Signor Guardabassi, the tenor, who
made his debut in London as Romeo, has
been signed at Covent Garden for three
years. He is a tall, handsome man and
goes out a great deal in the best set In
Paris.
Time and again rumor has married him
to this or that well-dowered American
girl, and the latest and most persistent
report has been that of bis engagement
to Miss Eno of the notable New York
family, who is now a guest of her sister,
Mrs. Graves, of Paris. Signor Guarda
bassi, however, said:
"My career is too important and I am
not yet ready to sacrifice my future as
an artist to love."
A Flintlock Musket With a History.
Rochester, N. Y.. Dispatch.
In a hollow tree near Shohola. N. Y.,
a flintlock musket has been found over
which had grown a thick covering of
wood. The musket is supposed to have
been In use during the battle of Mini
sink, fought near there between the
whites and the Indians on July 22, 1779.
The whites were defeated.
iv thim: Apatite, hogs' bristles,
wurruks iv art more thin 0 years old.
kelp, marshmallows. lifeboats, silk
worms' eggs, stilts, skeletons, turtles
an' leeches. Th' new tariff bill puts
these familyar commodyties within th'
reach iv all. But there's a bigger sur
prise waitin' fr ye. I suppose ye've
been worrid a good deal about " how
much it was goin' to cost ye to get
ye'er this year's yacht through th' cus
toms house. Ye were, weren't ve?
I've noticed it. Ye've had to pinch here
there. Ye've given up smokln'.
hin ye'er wife come to ye an' toid ye
she was goin' to buy a new hat ye've
said: 'Hadn't ye betther put it off till
we see what we have to pay in jooties
on that new six thousand horsepower,
toorbin yacht that ye so foollsb.lv
ordhered whin ye were in England vis"
ltln Andhrew Carnaygie.' Well. sir.
ye can tell ye'er wife to go down 'an'
ordher th' biggest peach basket in th'
window, fr. Hinnisy. me boy, fr'm now
on yachts can be imported free. Here
it is if ye don't believe me: 'Yachts
free Jv jooty.' Thim simple wurruds
will bring a new hope to manny a
toiler an' whin ye go sailin' off to
ye er wurruk with ye'er shovel on ye'er .
shouldher next Winter ye can thank
Nelson Aldhrich that ye don't have to
buy an autymoblll or walk.
"Well, sir, if nobody else has read
th debates on th' tariff bill. I have
An' 1 11 tell ye. Hinnlssy. that no such
orathry has been heerd in Congress
since Dan'l V. ebster's day, if then. Th'
walls lv Congress hall has resounded
with th' loftiest slntlmlnts. Hlnnery
Cabin Lodge in accents that wud melt
th' heart iv th' coldest mannyfacthrer
iv button shoes has pleaded fr free
dom fr th' skin ic vows. I'm sorry
to say that this appeal fr'm th' cradle
lv our liberties wasn't succissful. Th'
hide iv th' pauperized kifle iv Europe
will have to cough up at th' customs
house befure they can be convartcd into
brogans. This pathriotic result was se
cured be th' gallant Bailey lv Texas. A
fine lib'rai minded fellow, that lad
Bailey. He's an ardlnt free thrader,
mind ye. He's almost a slave to th
historic principles Iv th' Dimmycratic
party. Ye bet he is. But he's no
blamed bigot. He can have principles
an' he can lave thim alone.
"Says th' Sinitor fr'm Louisyanny:
'Louisyanny, th" proudest jool "in th'
dyadim iv our fair land, remains thrue
to th' honored teachlu's iv our leaders.
Th' protlctive tariff is an abomynation.
It is crushtn" out th' lives lv our peo
ple. An' wan v th" worst parts iv
this divvlish Injine iv tyranny Is th'
tariff on lathes. Fellow Sinitors. as
long,' he says, 'as I can stand, as long
as nature will sustain me in me pro
test, while wan dhrop Iv pathriotic
blood surges through me heart. I will
raise me voice again a tariff on lathes
onless,' ho says, 'this dliread lmply
mlnt lv oppressyon is akelly used,' he
says, 'to protict th' bland an' beauti
ful mollasses iv th" state iv me birth,'
he says.
" 'I am heartily in sympathy with th
Sinitor fr'm Louisyanny.' says th' Sin
itor fr'm Virginya. 'I loathe th' tariff.
Fr'm me arllest days I was brought up
to look on it with pizenous hathred. At
inanny a con-vintion ye cud hear me
whoopln' again it. But if there Is such
a lot iv this monsthrous iniquity passin'
around, don't Virginya get none? How
about th' mother iv Prisidents? Ain't
she goin" to have a grab at annythingf
Glntlemen, I do not ask. I demand
rights fr me commonwealth. I will
talk here ontll July Fourth, nineteen
hundherd an' eighty-two. again th'
proposed hellish tax on feather beds
onless something Is done fr th' tama
rack bark iv old Virginya."
"An" so it goes. Hinnlssy. Niver a
sordid wurrud, mind ye. but ivrything
done on th' fine old principle iv give
an' take."
"Well." said Mr. Hennessy. "what
diffrence does It make? Th' foreigner
pays th' tax, annyhow."
"He does," said Mr. Dooley, "if he
ain't turned back at Castle Garden."
(Copyright. 19C9. by H. H. McClure & Co.)
A SERVANT AS MASTER.
Eleirtrlclty May Soon Occupy That High
Position.
John L. Mathews in Hampton's.
Electricity has escaped from the fac
tory and has entered the home. All over
America are houses to which coal is a
stranger: houses in which the lighting,
the cooking, the ironing, the heating is
all done by the electric current. These
houses are fast Increasing in number.
All over America are farmers who have
on their land small brooks which, har
nessed, will supply this power. But most
of us become the tenants of some big
corporation owning a waterfall grabbed
from us perhaps 200 to 300 miles away.
We have never seen the fall, but we can
tap the slender wire by our gate and
draw from It at a cost reaching $100 to
$S0 a horsepower year for small users
the current which In a moment heats the
bathtub of water; which heats the irons;
which broils the steak; which lightens
the housewife's labors and takes fire and
soot from the house. .
On the farm in Germany and soon it
will be true here electric traction mo
tors tapping wires close by, drag plows
across the fields and harrow and har
vest as well. Electricity in New York
and Wisconsin already milks the cows,
runs the churns, works the butter, saws
and splits firewood, lights and heats the
house, operates the cider press, charges
the storage batteries of the farmer's run
about. In the South it will soon run the
mechanical cotton picker and the pin and
press. There Is no end to its uses. It
comes closer to us every day, and In a
generation It will be our master or our
slave. It Is for us to choose, and we
must choose - soon whether we will take
charge of it and own and operate it, or
whether we will bow down to the Hydro-Electro-Cynamid-Carblde-Copper
Trust,
the hydra to which every loaf of bread,
every pound of beef, every manger of
oats must pay its tribute.
Aeroplanes Among Commodities.
New York World.
Aeroplanes now take their place among
the regularly advertised commodities of
the day in the New York newspapers.
They are announced as "practical in
flight." They "can be delivered within -40
days from date of order." The era of
aviation is thus ushered in by an escort
of display type. In the country at large
over 8000 Inventors have flying machine
designs in hand and machines of several
hundred types are actually in process of
building. Plans for the , first airship
garage in New York have already been
filed.
Nobody Is Safe.
The devl wagon hastens
Through countryside and town.
With gasoline anl clangor
To add to its renown.
And in its mad cavorting
It runs the human down.
The devil boat goes scooting
The element to dare.
The while It cuts the waters
For naught It seems to care.
And in it3 rapid courelng
Runs over mermaids fair.
The devil airship doubtless
Will take the same delight.
And when across the heavens
It takes its Joyous flight.
It will without compunction
Run over angels bright.
-McLandsburgh Wilaon in New York Sua.
I