8
TIIK MORNING OREGOMAN. FRIDAY, JANUARY 10, 1903.
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PORTLAND, FRIDAY, JANUARY 10, 190.
I
THE BANK AND CURRENCY BILLS.
There are radical differences be
tween the Senate and House commit
tees on the currency question. ' So
wide apart are theyhat there would
seem to be small probability that the
committees can reach an agreement.
The Senate committee proposes a
measure which will simply empower
the National banks to take out addi
tional notes to the amount of $250,
000. 000. on approved securities other
than National bonds. The plan of
the House committee is not yet per
fected, but the subcommittee gives
out a summary or outline, from which
it appears that a complete change of
the banking and bank currency sys
tem of the country is to be proposed.
In other words, that all outstanding
notes based on National bonds are to
be retired, and in lieu thereof notes
are to be issued to the banks on their
capital stock, under strict regulations
defined by law, to be enforced
through the Controller of the Cur
rency. It may be doubted whether so
radical a change can ' be carried
through the Senate; perhaps not even
through the House.
The Senate plan is simpler, for it
merely makes an adiliticm to the pres
ent system, with which all are famil
iar. The banks may deposit bonds or
other interest-bearing obligations of
any state, or authorized bonds of any
municipality of over 20.000 inhabi
tants, which for ten years previously
has not defaulted on payment of prin
cipal or Interest; or first-mortgage
bonds or any railroad company (not
Including street railroads) which has
paid a dividend of not less than 4 per
cent regularly for five years prior to
the deposit of the bonds on Its entire
capital stock; and notes not exceeding
an aggregate of $250,000,000 on these,
subject to existing laws and regula
tions. Upon such notes there is to be
a tax of one-half of 1 per cent a
month, on the average amount the
object of this 6 per cent per- annum
tax being to force their retirement by
the banks when not in actual use. It
Is simple enough but is merely
a patch on the present system.
Chairman Kowler, of the House
committee, insists that it will not an
swer at all, and that the present op
portunity should be seized to make a,
new system throughout.
His plan is somewhat intricate and
very elaborate. It would cut out the
use of National bonds altogether as
the direct security, requiring each
bank to put up 5 per cent of its aver
age deposits as a guarantee fund,
which would place a very heavy re
serve in control of the Government.
Of this sum, which would be placed
at $500,000,000, eighty per cent would
be Invested in 2 per cent United States
bonds. On the notes Issued to them
the banks would be required to pay
an annual tax of 2 per cent. The
country would be divided into dls
tricts, so that there would be a re
dcmptlon city within twenty-four
hours of each and every National
bank. Each bank would be entitled
to notes equal in amount to Its paid
up capital stock, and the Government
would control a sufficient reserve fund
to assure redemption, and at the same
time would maintain close supervision
over all operations. It would be al
most the same as a, central bank, .un
der Government control. The sys
tem could be made successful, if
pushed through over the opposition
of the Senate. But whether this can
be done seems doubtful. In that
body old Interests and accustomed
-things are deeply intrenched; and Sen
ator Aldrich, head of the Senate's
committee on finance, supposes it his
duty to stand against any change not
agreeable to them. Their views as to
their special interests, under the pres
ent system, in comparison with what
they might be in case of change, de
vide their course of action.
The Senate bill, it is said, will also
divide the country into redemption or
clearing-house districts. That is not
in the bill, but it will be an added fea
ture. Something like forty districts
will be segregated, composed of sec
tions tributary to four principal re
serve cities New York, Chicago, St.
Louis and San Francisco. It will be
suggested that the clearing-houses at
these points be empowered to Issue
clearing-house certificates against
which the Treasury of the United
States may issue circulation, which is
to bear a tax of 6 per cent. But these
features may not be insisted on. The
House measure, however, so far as we
are able to get it, appears distinctly
preferable to that of the Senate. If
will probably be deemed more com
plex, but it is an original plan, based,
however, on experience of foreign na
tions, but adapted to our ow.n condi
tions and requirements. The time is
now, if ever time could be favorable,
to a change from the old patchwork
of our ssytem to a consistent and com
prehensive plan.
EXTORTION NO CRIME.
It never rains but it pours. The
courts of the various states seem to be
running a race with the Federal 'judi
ciary to see which can do the most to
make crime safe and criminals im
mune. It begins really to look as if
the only sure and safe road to wealth
and respectability In this country lay
In the direction of murder, railroad
wrecking and extortion. Extortion
becomes particularly attractive to en
terprising genius by the recent decis
ion of the California Court of Appeals
in the case of Schmitz.
The court decides in his case that
extortion is no crime. Schmitz, act
ing through Ruef, levied blackmail on
the French restaurants. He forced
them to pay blood money for protec
tion from the police. Protection was
badly needed, since the restaurants
were openly breaking the, law. The
blackmail went first Into Ruefs hands
and there It became purified and
sweetened by calling it a "fee." As a
fee it was entirely proper. Noth
ing in the world is more honorable
than a "fee," while If you call the
same thing blackmail or a bribe It is
scandalous. The California court de
cides thus, and, of course, the decision
Is lawwhile It stands.
Ruefs "fee" from the French res
taurants being thus fumigated by ju
dicial opinion, of course it follows
that tie had the right to divide it with
Schmitz, or with anybody else he
chose. Who shall undertake to dic
tate to an honorable attorney like
Ruef how he shall dispose of his fees?
And, naturally, if it was legal and
proper for Ruef to take fees from the
restaurants, it was equally legal for
him to take them from Calhoun. And
having taken them from this enter
prising captain of industry, it was no
body's business if he chose to divide
them up with the Supervisors. All
such conduct has now been declared
to be legal. If not commendable, by
the California Court of Appeals. Who
could blame some disheartened citizen
if he should declare that the courts
are in league with crime and that-they
are determined to make justice a
laughing stock? Is the time coming
in America when the people through
out the country will either have to
submit to the control of the criminal
element or else take the administra
tion of justice into their own hands?
Of. course long before such a state
of things arrives the courts will have
learned to guide themselves less by
antiquated precedents and Intricate
word-spinning and to depend more on
common sense and the realities of life.
At present we aregoverned out of law
libraries. There is one worse kind of
government in the world, and but one.
That is government by theologians.
The effect upon the public mind of
this trifling with crime, which seems
to be so pleasing to the courts, is in
dicated by a letter which The Orego
nian has received from a disheartened
Juror in one ot the late land-fraud
cases. We quote a sentence from it,
enough to show the sentiment of the
writer: "There is not a particle of
doubt in my mind as to the fairness
of the verdict," he writes, "and it is
very discouraging to plain citizens act
ing conscientiously In the capacity of
jurymen to have their work set aside
and practically defeated -by our high
est tribunal on flimsy technicalities."
Who will say that this serious and
public-spirited Juryman misses the
mark ?
THE CHAMBER OF COMMERCE.
The committee reports of the Port
land Chamber of Commerce, read at
the annual meeting Wednesday night,
present in modest language an excel
lent review of much . good accom
plished during the past year, and give
promise of much more to be accom
plished during the year Just beginning.
The Chamber of Commerce has been
steadily growing In membership and
Influence until it embraces representa
tives of every known industry or trade
which contributes In the slightest .de
gree to the growth of Portland. The
force of this Important organization
of representative business men has
been enlisted in every movement in
any manner calculated to improve our
trade or transportation facilities, and
Its efforts have seldom been In vain.
The twenty-six-foot channel to the
sea, which Portland now enjoys, is
largely., due to the efforts of the Cham
ber of Commerce, for it was from the
navigation committee of that body
that the suggestion for organization
of the Port of Portland first ap
peared, and every act Increasing the
powers and widening the sphere of
usefulness of the Port-of Portland has
been fathered and fostered by the
Chamber of Commerce. Mean? :iile.
In season and out of season, the mem
bers have carried on a campaign for
Government funds with which to
open up to the largest ships afloat the
channel 'at the mouth of the river,
and the success of this campaign Is
in evidence in the placing of the work
on a continuing contract basis, which
Insures Nample funds for its comple
tion. The efforts of the Chamber of
Commerce to improve- the tug and
pilotage service at the entrance of the
river were defeated on a technicality,
but during the coming year new
measures will be put forth for the Im
provement of the service, and they
will be carried out without successful
opposition from persons who from
selfish motives have opposed the at
tempt to improve the' service.
The railroad committee accomplished
much good in its defense of the rights
of this city In the celebrated Spokane
rate case, as well as in matters of less
importance. Taken as a whole, the
reports of the various committees
show a good year's work well .-done.
and the enthusiasm of the members
and the energy and public spirit of
the new officials chosen to carry on
the work now well under way augur
well for the future.
PORT OF COLUMBIA DEFEAT. .
The State Supreme Court has de
nied a rehearing on the Port of Co
lumbia act, and as a result any im
provement In the tug and pilot service
at the entrance of the river must be
deferred for another season. The de
lay is regrettable in the extreme. It
will make it impossible for any defi
nite plan for relief from the present
unsatisfactory service to be worked
out until after the next legislative ses
sion, more than a year hence. The
intervening period of more' than a
year will make great changes in the
shipping business of the Pacific North
west, and it is highly important that
the interests of the Columbia River
should be protected. The Port of Co
lumbia was organized primarily for
the purpose of improving the bar tug
service and relieving grain tonnage
entering the river of the burden of
pilotage fees.
This was the principal concession
demanded by the International Sail-ing-Ship
Owners' Union in return for
removal of the 30 cents per ton differ
ential levied against Portland and the
Columbia River and In favor of Puget
Sound ports. The other point in
volved was removal of ballast from
ship's tackle free of charge. The lat
ter was taken care of this season by
the Pacific Bridge Company, but the O.
R. & N. Co., which, in consideration-of
the Port of Columbia performing a
tug service on the bar, had agreed to
pay pilotage on grain ships, was
obliged to continue in the service and
at the same time shoulder the burden
of free pilotage. The removal of the
ballast and pilotage handicap has en
abled the Columbia River this season
to enjoy the same freight rates asi
have prevailed from Puget Sound, lut
the bar service is not yet as good as it
should be, and, unless it Is taken in
charge by the men w? actually han
dle the business, charter the ships,
import the cargoes and pay the bills
in brief, by the men who are in a po
sition to know what a good service Is
and how it affects freight rates, we
are likely at any time to have the
sailing-ship differential restored.
Meanwhile, what was considered a
small feature of the question when the
Port of Columbia was organized has
suddenly become of great importance.
Tramp steamers have come info the
North Pacific grain trade in such
numbers that for the first six months
of the current cereal year more than
one-half of the grain shipped foreign
was sent out by these modern carri
ers. This class of vessels promises in
the near future to drive the sailing
vessel out of this tradfc, and, in order
that we may not suffer by a steamship
differential as we suffered by a differ
ential levied by the owners of sailing
ships, it is necessary that the Port of
Columbia or some similar body be
given power to establish pilotage rates
on a parity with those in effect on Pu
get Sound, our active competitor in
the grain trade.
Completion of the North Bank Rail
road has made available for Columbia
River shipment traffic from a much
greater territory than we have drawn
on in the past. This new trade has
not yet settled into a fixed channel. It
can easily be turned on to Puget
Sound, and will be driven there unless
ail obstacles, artificial as well as nat
ural, at the entrance f the river are
removed. . Early completion of the
Jetty will, without doubt, give a suffi
cient depth-of water on the bar, but it
is also imperative that we have . the
best possible tug and pilot service in
order that the delays and high charges
which have in the past been laid up
against the river may be done away
with. The antagonism of a few peo
ple who enjoy temporary gain through
the existence of the present unsatis
factory system may be expected, no
matter what kind of a measure Is
drawn to lake the place of the Port
of Columbia bill.
The legitimate business interests of
the Columbia River, however, have
too much at stake, and, despite the
vexatious and even dangerous delay
which must be endured before a new
bill can be passed, thersi will be no
question about the final outcome. The
new law will be constitutional and the
bar service will be improved.
ARISTOCRATS AND DEMOCRATS.
With Mr. Bryan's distinction be
tween, the aristocratic and democratic
ideals of society and government there
Is not much fault to be found. Per
haps he stated this distinction as well
as anyone could at the Jackson day
banquet in Chicago on January 8. But
it was not quite ingenuous in him to
assume that democrat means the
same as Democrat and aristocrat the
same as Republican. There is a dem
ocratic element -in both parties, and
likewise there is'in both an element
which is ready to sacrifice the welfare
of the people to the selfish Interests
of a class. Moreover, a lively strug
gle for control is going on In both
parties between these opposing ele
ments, and which will carry the day is
no more evident In one than in the
other. Mr. Bryan acknowledges the
existence of the struggle within his
own party when he asks "Will the
Democratic party be democratic?" In
the Republican party it is notorious.
Mr. Roosevelt and his policies are
more detested by one faction of the
Republicans than they are by the
Bryan Democrats.
The truth is that the Bryan Demo
crats do not detest the Rooseveltian
ideas at all. These ideas have existed
in their own platforms for many years
in the form of vain aspirations and
pious hopes. Mr. Roosevelt has seized
upon them with the firm grasp of a
practical statesman and made them a
genuine force in politics. The only
fault the Democrats can find with him
for doing so is to complain that he
wishes the National Government to
take the duties of the states out of
their hands. The reproach is unmer
ited. Mr. Roosevelt has never shown
the smallest inclination to urge the
Federal Government to usurp state
powers. All his efforts have been di
rected toward inducing the National
authorities to look after certain neg
lected duties which Ho wholly outside
the limits of state action. i
But Mr. Bryan thinks it Is "aristo
cratic" to expand the activities of the
National Government. "The ' aristo
crat," ho says, "would substitute Na
tional remedies for state ones because
predatory wealth can protect itself
more easily from National legislation
than from state legislation." But can
it? State legislation emerges into the
world with a great deal of sound and
fury. It is terrifying in outward ap
pearance; but predatory wealth seems
to experience little difficulty in escap
ing from its clutches. All that is
necessary' is an injunction, and injunc
tions are as cheap as potatoes. " The
most Sweeping state laws for the regu
lation of predatory' wealth can be an
nulled by a stroke of the pen of a sin
gle Federal judge, and in fact they are
so annulled almost every day. . The
truth is, if we only had the frankness
to confess it, that state legislation is
not a whit different'from Federal leg
islation in its relations to the ravening
magnates. Both kinds lie at the
mercy of the Federal courts, and in
recent experience state . laws have
fared worse than those of Congress. It
Is nonsense to look to the state for the
cure of the evils arising from preda
tory wealth. These evils are National
in scope and can only.be remedied by
National laws. It is essential also
that these laws should be sustained by
an overwhelming and persistent body
of public opinion; otherwise they will
suffer the fate of the lamb among
wolves when the corporation lawyers
bring them into court. One main rea
son for the venomous current attacks"
on Mr. Roosevelt's popularity Is to
prepare the way for a general assault
In the courts upon his policy o"f con
trolling the syndicates.
The struggle between democracy
and aristocracy is world-wide. It is
as old as history and none of its
modern aspects is novel. Hitherto
in every stricken conflict victory
has finally lodged .with the aristocrats.
The only ground for hope that the fu
ture may show a different result is the
growing information and intelligence
of the masses. Perhaps when they
reach a degree of development wherj
they really deserve victory they will
find it perched upon their banners al
most without a struggle. Whether or
not that time has yet arrived neither
Mr. Bryan nor any one else Is in a po
sition to say. Events alone can decide
the question.
The peril attached to Interference
with the religion of other - people is
again illustrated over on the Grand
Canal in' the Province of Che-Kiang,
"where Chinese rioters have burned the
Presbyterian chapel and school. This
missionary establishment has been
running since 1893, and a few years
ago was officered by seven white
teachers and "a number ot natives.
For the present the Chinese have
seemed content with the burning of
the buildings and have not molested
the whites, who were engagyi In
teaching the new kind of religion.
White people can supply quite a num
ber of reasons why their religion is
superior to that" which was satisfac
tory to the greatConfucius, but as the
Chinese areuslng a brand that is sev
eral thousand years older than our
own, they may to a certain extent be
pardoned for objecting to introduction
of a youthful religion of whose ad
vantages they know nothing.
The Inconceivable thing about an
escapade like that of the young girl
Miss Winnifred Kelly, of Eugene,
Tuesday night, is that it could have
occurred at all. The reasons for It
are Insignificant, whatever they were.
Practically there can be no intelligent
reason, or indeed a simple excuse, for
an act that, plunged a family into
frantic grief and caused the entire
community to suffer with apprehen
sion. The relief that i experienced
In finding the girl unharmed is great
and sincere, though not unaccompa
nied by a feeling of vexation that in
case the delinquent were a smaller
child would find expression at home
in giving her a sound spanking.
None of the Havemeyer millions
wrung from the American sugar
consumers will be diverted to chari
table purposes. There was . not even
an effort made by the dead sugar king
to bribe his way into a good location
in the hereafter by means of the cus
tomary endowment of some religious
institution. All of his millions are
left to his immediate family of wife
and three children, and, while thou
sands are suffering in actual want in
the city where the Havemeyer mil
lions were made", the bereaved family
will continue to revel in a luxury
which Is the greatest socialist incu
bator of the age.
The proprietor of the ultra-aristo
cratic Hotel Gotham in New Yorl?
City has st..blished a new rule by
which titled foreigners, carrying only
a moderate amount of baggage, will
be called on to pay in advance. Now
if some of our marketable heiresses
will insist on this same class of immi
grants carrying at least a small
amount- of brains and decency, there
will be a material improvement in the
standard of foreign noblemen .. ho
seek our shores.
The Union Pacific and Burlington
lines will take porters off the chair
cars on their trains, and will also, in
the interest of economy, do away with
flagmen. While the traveling public
can understand where a saving might
be effected In the wages of a flagman.
it is difficult to understand where they
gain anything by discharging the por-.
tefs, who collect their wages from the
patrons of the road.
Having seen pictures of the pro
posed "pay-as-you-enter" car. with
one high step, many women are in
quiring whether the company will
furnish the short ladder necessary to
make the climb or whether passengers
are expected to provide means for
self-elevatlon.
Wholesale grocery trade, it Is said.
is nearly as goou as it was a year ago.
1 Jre is no apparent reason why it
sHuld not be quite as good. People
must eat and prices for foodstuffs of
all kinds are fully as high as they
were a year ago.
. It was a plungers' panic. Why the
country at large was. so little affected
is seen in the fact that the agricul
tural crops alone for the year 1907
were worth $450,000,000 more than in
1906. And the gains from the forests
and mines on top of that!
When the Oregon Retail Grocers'
Association meets here this month,
the members will gain popularity and
respect If they resolve never to sub
stitute case eggs for the fresh ranch
variety.
In New York they are trying to de
Tine the' difference between the pessi
mist and the optimist. In Kentucky
they say it is five cocktails.
"BORE OF THE AVERAGE! SERMON."
Asi Anonym oils larnis Mho Wants
Better Treatment.
Hartford Courant.
Bishop Potter got an anonymous letter
the other day, and instead of throwing it
in the wastebasket (as his custom is) sent
it along to his friend. Editor McBee of the
Churchman. That was because the un
signed letter seemed to him worth saving
and considering.
Its writer wrote it at the University
Club, on his way home from a New York
church, where he had been an attendant
for about 17 years. The choral service
that Sunday was perfect, he tells the bish
op "solemn, lovely, exquisitely rendered."
But a callow curate made a pitiable at
tempt to preach about the financial panic;
and the layman In the pew felt his endur
ance overtaxed. In his unsigned letter
he asks the bishop how it is that college
and seminary graduates, who out of the
pulpit have the look of cultivated gentle
men, make such dreadful work of their
preaching. Why are they so intolerably I
unoriginal and tedious, he wants to know. J
He says to the bishop:
'For forty years and more I have felt
that the exquisite beauty of the church's
services made them the highest of privi
leges. But the tedium the horror, I may
say, as I am anonymous--the intolerable
bore, of the average sermon, is too high
a price for all but the, most faithful
churchman to pay even for the privilege.
Would it not be .better to direct that cu
rates should ' be given a sermon by some
eminent clergyman of our church and di
rected to practice reading it and then
told to read it instead of compelling con
gregations to sit through their struggles
with words?"
In a note to Editor McBee the bishop de
scribed the question raised by this layman
In the anonymous letter as a "'burning"
question one which "cannot well be
evaded." He thinks the layman's sugges
tion about requiring such preachers as he
suffered under that December Sunday to
read to the congregation the strong ser
mons of other men, instead of writing
feeble sermons of their own, has substan
tial value. Why not a monthly or quar
terly publication, containing selected ser
mons for that use under the supervision
of a responsible committee?
Then Bishop Potter makes a suggestion
of his own that is sure to excite wide at
tention. ItJs that the church of which
he Is one of the chief pastors adopt the
policy of specially licensing some of its
clergy to preach, after they have received
a special training for the pulpit. He
doesn't say that he would be for forbid
ding the rest to preach "out--of their own
heads," but isn t that the natural Infer
ence? He does say that- the men In the
pews are much more intellectual and criti
cal than they were aO years ago. He does
suggest that it's time for the church to
take up this matter of the pulpit s rela
tion to public worshh) "courageously."
GEORGE ADE IS FOR FAIRBANKS
Author of "Fabler In Slang" . To Add
Sparkle to the Canvass.
New York Times.
The gayety of the political campaign
will be greatly increased by the ap
pearance in the arena of George Ade,
the "Fables in Slang" man, as a cham
pion of Vice-President F.airbanks. He
will lend a sparkle to the canvass of
that Indiana statesman which' it has
hitherto lacked. We know that he
knows all about politics, for spme of
his choicest humor has been devoted
to the ins and outs of office-getting
and office-holding, patronage and pap.
He wrote "The County Chairman,"
which is rural politics dramatized. He
also knows all about cocktails and
buttermilk, and can be relied upon to
nail a campaign lie with effective fa
cetiousness. Indiana authors have taken to poll
tics before now, but in a more self
seeking way. Mr. Ade wants nothing
for himself, we are quite sure, except
fun. A foreign mission would not suit
him. When he is away from the wilds
of Hoosierdom little old New York is
good enough for him. He is American
clear through, "and he knows Mr. Fair
banks. Now that Mr. Ade is in the
ring, the duty of James Whitcomb
Riley and Wes Bigelow is quite clear.
Once there was an Elephant who had
so many Riders pulling so many ways
that he was Sore Perplexed. "Come,"
said a little Jester, "you've tried Law
yers and Soldiers, now give the Humor
ists a chance. Make a Back for Me and
Charley." "Well," said the sedate
Beast of Burden, "it's worth thinking
about, just for the Fun of the Thing."
Moral: Even an Elephant may have
a Sense of Humor.
Forces Making; for Nationalism.
New York World (Dem.).
With our iron roads whirling people
asross a -dozen state lines in a day, .with"
the telegraph obliterating distance " and
time, with moral problems clamoring for
solution! because of the discord of state
statutes, and with the strong fist of capi
tal clutching at monopolies from sea to
sea, it is idle to object to nationalism.
Every instinct of repugnance to corrupt
city administration, every impulse of im
patience with the feebleness of state gov
ernments and of disgust at their lack of
agreement in the face of like perplexities
and common loes, but strengthens the ten
dency of the people to put their reliance
upon the greater and wider powers of the
general government.
Scan as one will the precedents and tra
ditions, argue as one may or close or
loose construction of the constitution, na
tionalism Is Inevitable. The national ideal
is the growth of stern necessity.
Finance Parable for the Times.
Puck.
Once there was a man who bought a
beautiful gold brick for which he paid
the sum of $10 or $15 although it looked
exactly as if it were worth 10 or 15
thousand.
Then he took it home, and, opening his
ledger, made an entry which materially
swelled his assets.
Then, he mortgaged his -home and
bought an automobile and a season tic.it
for the opera and gave a large dinner
at Sherry's. And why should he not, for
was he not a rich man 'and could he not
prove it by his ledger?
And then one day it occurred to him to
examine his gold brick a little more close
ly. Whereupon he found that it was
worth only 10 or 15 cents.
He lost confidence Immediately, and the
effort he made to get rid of the brick
brought on a severe panic.
Auto Runner-Down a Murderer.
Springfield (Mass.) Republican.
The Boston automobile dealer who
was fined $1000 and sentenced to three
months In the House of Correction last
week for causing the death of a Cam
bridge man through reckless driving,
got off altogether too easily. At the
time of the accident he did not stop,
but speeded all the faster, and was
traced afterward with difficulty. The
police ehoot a common burglar who
fails to stop with his load of silver
ware when they order him to, and the
sin of this chauffeur against society
was infinitely greater than that of the
thief. CrimjnaL" negligence in such a
case is morally as wrong as murder.
No, Never Do Such a Thins.
Washington Star.
"Bachelors." said George Ade at a din
nerMr. Ade Is himself & bachelor "have
a certain grim and sardonic humor, due.
no doubt, to the bleakness of their lonely
lives.
"I was once remonstrating "with a bach
elor In New York.
" 'No;' I said to him. 'stay here with us.
A poker game is to start soon. Don't
you know, my dear fellow, that a man
should never call on a girl when he has
been drinking?
" 'That is right,"" said the 'bachelor, tak
ing off his hat and coat 'Many a man
has become engaged through so doing.' "
WHO IS AVDREW . WHITE f
The Ore con ln Has Pleasure in- An
swering; Till Reader's Inquiry.
PORTLA.ND. Jan. 8. (To the Editor.)
In a recent editorial wherein comment
was made upon President Roosevelt's
toast to Admiral Dewey. The Oregonian
proposed Andrew D. White as more de
serving the honor of being the "greatest
living American." Kindly Inform an un
enlightened reader the basis of The Ore
gonian's contention. Who is Andrew D.
White, and what service has he rendered
to America? H. E. M.
" It seems surprising that any person liv
ing in the United States should not know
who Andrew D. White is. The questions
which are aked by the writer of this let
ter are another among the numerous cur
rent proofs that the eduatlon which
many people acquire in school la artifi
cial and unreal, that It deals with trlviajl
tles and neglects useful knowledge. An
drew D. White Is one of the principal
founders of higher state education in
America. He first helped materially to
establish the University of Michigan and
then by his vigorous and untiring labors
built up Cornell University, rie has been
for many years the steadfast champion
of the sciences and mechanic arts as the
staple of popular education. To him
more than to any other man is due
the great progress which sensible school
ing has made In this country and the
reform of the old system of training the
young in a catalogue of chimeras and
stupidities.
He has been for many years the cham
pion of modern scientlflo thought against
theology and superstition; has written a
great book upon the endless struggle be
tween theology and science; has been
prominent In the politics of New York;
has represented his country at the courts
of Germany and Russia with great dis
tinction; has been among the . leading
champions of international peace, and is
the author of one of the most- Interesting
autobiographies ever written.
The Oregonlan diu not say that Andrew
D. White was "the greatest living Ameri
can." It did say that his claim to be
called a benefactor of his country was
at least equal to Admiral Dewey's, and
we think his record amply Justifies the
statement.
STORY OF PA AND THE DOG.
I.lltle Henry Tells How the Faithful
Brute Waa Trained.
Chicago Evening Post.
Well, the dog came back & so pa he
sed well the fathful annimle shall not be
turnd out In the coled world to suffer "&
mebbe starv after this exabishun of his
fidelty 1 will giv him a hoam.
& so he sed undoubtedly this dog is a
very Intelgent annimle and one that will
redly lern to do all manner of amazing
tricks, wen i was a boy of yure age,
Henry, there was few things 1 couldnt
teech a dog to do. 1 had a dog once that
lerned to count up to 1000 but the trubble
was he tried to lern to subtrack and he
got brane fever & dide
so pa took Gellert, wich was the name
he giv the dog becos he sed once there
was a fathful dog of that name that
wotched his masters chlldern until they
got killed and then his master killed the
dog becos he thought the dog had et
the children wich he had not. O no the
children washt killed, but the master
thought they was so he killed the dog
and felt very sorry about it wich proves
that the dog is a dumb and fathful serv
ant and deserves better treetment.
so pa he tride to teech Gellert to sit on
his hind legs and snap at a peece of meet
wich pa put on his nose and pa was to
count three and then Gellert was to snap
the meet but Gellert hadn't never lerned
to count and so wen pa put the meet on
his nose the dogs nose i meen and begun
counting Gellert he snapd his nose and
et the meet and wagged his tale.
so pa tride again and this time he held
the meet on Gellerts nose with one hand
while he waved the other up & down
while he counted & he sed one two and
then fathful Gellert riggled his nose lose
and snaped and pas hand was in the
way and so Gellert' tride to eet It with
the meet wich made pa mad and he sed
he neW a saw such a dodgasted fool of
a dog only he didnt say dodgasted.
& pa kicked fathful Gellert out Into
the yard and went to see a doctor and
ast the doctor if he thought he had the
hyderfoby and the doctor charged him
$3 and told pa he had notlsed he was
afrade of wotter long before he was
dogbit
"The Leading Wrecker."
New York World. -The"
Seaboard receivership can be at
tributed only Indirectly to anti-railroad
legislation In the South, the October panic
or, present money-market conditions. It is
due chiefly to Thomas F. Ryan and his
familiar methods of finance.
Mr. Ryan got control of the Seaboard
four years ago. From that time he has
played his regular game. There was the
usual Ryan device or a holding company.
One issue of securities followed another.
The capital stock was watered up to $62,-
000.000 and the bonded indebtedness in
flated to $58,000,000. Dividends were paid
that had not been earned. Although the
company's earnings last year increased
$1,000,000, after the fixed charges on the
watered capitalization had been paid,
there remained a deficit. In the shape to
which Mr. Ryan had reduced its affairs
the concern could be kept afloat only by
increasing its load of debt. Bankruptcy
was as Inevitable with Mr. Ryan's Sea
board as it was with Mr. Ryan's Metro
politan. Within four months this eminent finan
cier has placed two- receiverships to his
personal credit. He is the leading
wrecker of the times. Even Mr. Harri
man, with his Alton looting, his dis
honest stock-market tricks and - his
crooked manipulations, has sent none of
his corporations Into the hands of a re
ceiver.
A Half-MUllon In Brown Paper.
New YorV Times.
Carrying half a million dollars In a
brown paper parcel as though it might
have been a loaf of bread, George- G.
Lemons, a Klondyke mine owner, ar
rived on the Majestic. He was accom
panied by his wife, who until a few
weeks ago v. as Miss Frances Clark, of
Scotland, Mr. Lemons explained that the
reason for his carrying the big wad of
Lmoney was because of the fact that a.
large amount oi tunas wnicnne nan sent
to Seattle ror ousiness use naa "got tied
up in the banks," and he wanted what
he had with him for Immediate use. Tha
package contained $500,000 In one thou
sand dollar bills. Lemons is an English
man. He said he went to Dawson 13
years ago and made his pile. "I made
mine,"- he said, "but . for two years I
slept on the work. I buried three part
ners, and know what it Is to live on the
bare necessities of life." Mr. Lemons'
mine is at SL Michaels, 1300 miles from
Dawson City.
. Bryan Condenses a Proverb.
From a Speech Before the Oklahoma
Legislature.
One proverb I have often quoted is
"The wise man toreseeth the evil and
hldeth himself, but the foolish pass on
and are punished." It is a great truth.
and beautliuiiy expressed, but I found
it did not stick In people's minds, and
so I condensed It, and it is the only
effort I have ever made to improve
upon a proverb; and this is not an im
provement. It is merely a condensation. It
Is not as beautiful as bolomon's provera.
but more easily remembered. It means
the same thing in a condensed form: "The
wise man gets the Idea Into his head; the
foolish man gets it In the neck."
SILHOUETTES
BY ARTHUR A. -GREENE.
IT occurs to me that a lot of good yrn
pathy is being expended in the direo
tion of Kelly Butte that might more prop
erly be applied where it would do honest
people some good.
'Among other nuisances that should be
abated Is the man who Insists on get
ting up at the unearthly hour of 6 A. M.
It's a poor resolution that works both
ways.
-
This is leap year; the chance for an
ambitious girl to make a name for her
self. I'm of the opinion that the reason why
babies cry so much is that they look at
their parents and see their own ilnish.
Those who borrow trouble may always
be confident of paying back their cred
itors.
A Detroit savant has discovered a new
Bible which he claims threatens to revo
lutionize the Christian .religion. The old
one has proved good enough to live and
die by for quite a spell back and most
of us will be content to worry along with
it
s
A Chicago man asks for a divorce after
six weeks of married life, on the ground
that his wife loves him so well she won't
let him leave home to attend to his busi
ness. If he had waited six months he
would have been compelled to seek an
other cause of action.
Through the operation of a new tariff
arrangement with France the price of
champagne Is to be greatly reduced.
Thus it will be seen that paternalistic
Government still has the Interests of the
plain people at heart.
Undertakers never take the negative
side of the argument, "Is life worth liv
ing?" s s
To Homer Davenport.
Well, howdy. Homer! How be ye?
Gosh, but you're good for sore eyes to ice.
Same ol' husky feller that you've all'ys
bin;
Couldn't be no gladder if you was kin.
How's the picter bizness
And yer stock a-gitten on?
What's the news from yan-way, where
ye live?
How's Jim and Wex a-makin' out? I
hope they're doln' well.
Now Jest set right down here and gaes
a spell.
Fer the great folks they ain't spoilt ye,
Yer as natural as life;
And a-comln' back to see us.
Far from fitfulness and strife.
Is a mighty soothin' pleasure
Both for you and us as well ;
Now Jest set right down here and gass
f a spell.
We are all'ys glad to see ye.
It reminds us of the time
As a simple country lad ye Jlned the
band;
Though yer life has took you from us
Into regions wide and grand.
You're a-lookln' like ye felt almighty fine.
Fer there's all'ys in the winder
A light a-shinln" bright.
We love you 'cause we know your heart
Is right.
So tell us what you're thinkln'
And accomplishln' as well.
Now Jest set right down here and gass
a spell.
I notice that far too many people with
colored supplement intellects find fault
with Mark Twain's humor.
s
It is to be hoped that tHe contentior
between Senator Fulton and Mr. Honey
will end in coffee sans the pistols.
No matter how unseasonable it may be,
don't fall to answer the doorbell. It
may be Opportunity getting In late.
IN THE
Magazine Section
OF THE
SUNDAY
0REG0NIAN
HUNTING FOR ROOMS
IN PORTLAND
Furnishings that you see, and
landladies, and cheerful atmos
phere and things, by Leone Cass
Baer.
TWO VARIETIES OF
OREGON SMALL FRUITS
Full-page illustration in colors
from a photograph, showing one
sort that grow on trees and one
that grow in cradles.
THE HOTEL CLERK ON
,THE DIVORCE IDEA
Sundry remarks by Irving S.
Cobb -on a popular and ever-new
topic.
PART OF" THE GREAT
MIDWINTER FLEET
Full-page picture in colors of
a few of the deep-water ships now
in port.
TEACHING SCHOOLBOYS
TO SHOOT STRAIGHT
Big start made at creating a na
tion of skilled marksmen for fu
ture volunteer armies.
UNCLE SAM NOW AN
ALLY OF SANTA CLAUS
What was accomplished by a
young woman in reforming the
rules of the Postoffice Depart
ment. EXCELLENT FEATURES AND
DEPARTMENTS
ORDER FROM YOUR NEWS
DEALER TODAY " .