8
THE MORNING OREGONIAN, SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 29, 1906.
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PORTLAND, SATURDAY. SEPT. t9, 1906.
A GENERAL TOPIC LOCALIZED.
It has been our boast that there were
no "classes" in the United States. It
was a fact that impressed itself strong
ly on the consciousness of the people.
To 6ay it was a fact implies that it is
rio longer a fact. This is true, also.
There is, indeed, in our country no
such distinction of classes as has Ions
existed in the Old World; for there yet
remain many prepotent and counter
vailing; forces, in a great democracy, to
check a tendency which grows inevita
bly with the accumulation of property
In vast amounts, in the hands of a few,
to stand in contrast with the poverty,
or with the poorer fortunes, of the
many. But in spite of the institutions
Of democracy, operating on a scale of
vastness unparalleled, increase of
wealth and contrasts of fortune do tend
toward the separation of the people
into classes. Every observer perceives
the trend.
For there never has Teen a time, in
any country, . when wealth was not
power when wealth did not create
class distinctions and draw a line be
tween those who possessed it and those
who did not. On good social theory it
Is absurd, but is fact, nevertheless.
We believe, however, that too much
power remains in the hands of the peo
ple and too much benevolence in the
general mass, to permit In our country
the unjust class, distinctions that have
existed, and still exist, elsewhere. Some
fear this may be a dream, or senti
ment, merely, since property must ex
let, and individual ownership; and It is
the nature of property to be unequal,
because talents and opportunities are
unequal, and no power can equalize
them.
.There were, indeed, slight Indications
of class distinction in our country be
fore tine accumulation of the vast mod
ern fortunes began. But there was no
marked division; there could be none In
a state of society where the aggregate
wealth was small, and no one could
have much. If certain people ; gave
themselves airs it came to nothing, for
there was no power of wealth in their
hands to make others feel, with any
severity, an inequality of conditions.
Class distinctions could not be far ad
vanced in. a country where there was
abundance of free land, and where the
prodigality of nature offered resources
to all enterprising persons who chose
to appropriate them. But that day is
past, and the present condition Is one
of segregation of classes,. The close
social touch of former times is being
rapidly lost. It is the rightful business
of those who observe the tendency to
put forth . every effort to check It
Wealth, In a country like ours, pan
maintain its claims only by devoting
Itself, in practical and sympathetic
iways, to the service of humanity. That
Is to say, not only a high morality, but
an enlightened selfishness, calls upon
all men to realize that they do not live
for themselves merely, but to help the
social organism. In its higher aims.
For the 6ocial question in our day
has become an ethical question, aris
ing out of a deepening ethical sense of
the community and marking a step,
and a succession of steps, in social
progress. It comes home to every man
through a sense that the welfare of the
masses is bound up in' the welfare of
the units. Men owe much to each
other, and are responsible to and for
each other.
Helpful work, then, from all who are
able to work, either with mind or
money, for the Improvement of social
conditions. Is the chiefest of tfutles. It
Is a work that takes many forms. Just
now in our City of Portland the call
comes loudly for help for those two In
stitutions of the modern time the Y.
M. C. A. and T. W. C. A. whose work
is becoming a large feature of benev
olent and altruistic effort in all the
principal cities of our land. Its pur
pose is to lend encouragement and as
sistance to young people whom right
Influences will help forward to condi
tions of useful citizenship and worthy
lives. The modern time offers increas
ing numbers to whom such assistance
Is a boon. It is not charity, but sym
pathy, and help rightly directed, at the
time most needed. It Is a school of
instruction, that does the right work
In the right way, at the right time. Its
work is one of the expressions of the
obligation of each to all, of those who
aaa help to those who need it. The
money for the purpose outlined In the
call to the people ought to be raised.
It is a great undertaking, difficult cer
tainly, but within possibility. There
are but few perhaps who can" give
largely; but many small sums will
make a great one. The work is direct
ly In the line needed for promotion of
self-help and the good of society at
large; for society has no other interest
comparable with that of opening oppor
tunities to the young and guarding
them against mistakes that wreck so
many lives. Let the young who need
counsel, sympathy and other assistance
have this help and guidance at the
proper time, and they will learn that
society does Indeed care for them; that
it is their friend, not their enemy; and
the work- will go far to arrest the tend
ency toward class distinctions and hos
tility to the present order, in which a
materialistic and selfish view of life
will unmistakably land us. The work
ing people of this country, the humble
people, will surely rule it. Every work
like this will help them to rule it
aright. Here is the proposal that at
this particular time deserves special at
tention. This is the day for It. How
many powerful peoples, in the course
of history and the tide of times, have
been ruined by failure to understand
and to deal on right principles with the
pressing social question that never will
down! It never will down because so
ciety is infinitely complex, and in new
situations is continually presenting new
phases and conditions that must be
dealt with as successive occasions re
quire. These problems now are more
pressing than ever before, because of
the multifarious aspects and require
ments of our modern civilization.
BAR JETTY AND OTHER PROJECTS.
"Resolved," said the Portland Cham
ber of Commerce yesterday, "that,
while appreciating the great import
ance of the speedy completion of the
work at the mouth of the' Columbia
River, we also recognize the import
ance of the speedy completion of the
locks and canal at Celilo, the freeing of
the Upper Columbia River from ob
structions, theacquiring by the United
States of the locks and canal at Ore
gon City, the improvement at Coos Bay
and ajl other harbors and waterways
in this state and the Northwest; that
in our judgment it would be neither
wise nor proper for the people of, this
city or any other portion of the state
to attempt to adopt a policy having for
its purpose the concentration of all ap
propriations made by the -General Gov
ernment for this section on the im
provement at the mouth of the river,
and to permit all other projects to re
main in abeyance pending its comple
tion; that the Improvements of the Co
lumbia River should go hand in hand."
Work on the bar jetty will not be re
sumed until the full sum needed for its
completion, J2,500,000, shall be available.
This is Lieutenant-Colonel Roessler's
recommendation, and it will undoubt
edly prevail. It should be plainly un
derstood that this sum cannot now, nor
probably soon, be obtained from Con
gress, and large sums also for other
improvements.
Do people of the Columbia region
want other projects pushed to the de
lay of the jetty? What do residents of
Portland and the lower river, in Oregon
and Washington, think about It? Are
they willing that the jetty project be
suspended for a term of years?
People should not mislead themselves
with the hope of a $50,000,000 annual
appropriation by Congress for rivers
and harbors. It Is a remote quest.
There may be no rivers and harbors
appropriation at all this coming year.
This is admitted by Representatives
Jones and Ransdell, members of the
committee on rivers and harbors, who
visited Portland two weeks ago. In the
last $30,000,000 bill the Columbia re
ceived" more than its "share." A $75,-
000,000 bill, they said, would be neces-'
sary to obtain the J2,500,000 for the
jetty, and this they confessed is beyond
probability in the coming Congress, es
pecially when other improvements were
to be provided for. The money ought
to be appropriated, but the practical
limitations of the matter should be
kept uppermost in mind.
Nor will the Chamber of Commerce
easily succeed in inducing the lower
river district to bond itself for a sum
between $5,000,000 and $10,000,000 to im
prove the stream from this city to the
sea. It would be a big debt for prop
erty to bear, and would make heavy
taxes. Besides, Portland has spent
$2,000,000 already.
The Oregonian believes, with all -confidence,
that appropriations for "all
other projects" will retard the jetty;
The Jetty is the most valuable of all
the proposed improvements of the
river, highly important as the Celilo
Canal is. The mouth of the Columbia
opened for deepest ships, execution of
other projects would follow rapidly,
because their greater need would force
their construction.
SALEM CRITICISM AND BULL BUN.
The Salem Capital Journal is having
a new kind of spasm. It has been
demanding for many days that The
Oregonian let the public know "wheth
er or not Willamette River water is
mixed in with Bull Run water in the
Portland water mains,'" The Journal
fancies that The Oregonian has had
some ulterior motive in calling atten
tion to the polluted water tupply of
several Willamette Valley -towns. So
the Salem paper some days since set
out io snow tnat the people of Port
land were no better off than residents
of the Willamette Valley, and were be
ing daily poisoned by typhoid germs
from the filthy waters of the Willam
ette. "In a spirit of absolute fairness
and justice," says the Journal, "we
asked the aforesaid great and good
guardian of the public health (The Ore
gonian) whether it was not a fact that
the good City of Portland got part of
its water supply from the Willamette.
The Oregonian never replied." To em
phasize the black misery of its grief
the Journal prints the last four words
In large, dark letters. '
The Oregonian never replied because
It thought the matter not worthy of
attention. And It replies now only to
calm the hysteria of our unhappy
friend and In fear of the dreadful con
sequences to him of further silence. In
the issue of The Morning Oregonian,
Friday, July 13, 1906, page 11, will be
found by the Salem Journal a com
plete article setting forth th exact
water situation In the City of Portland.
It contains an affidavit from Frank T.
Dodge, superlntendont of the water
works of Portland, wherein he de
clares that "from the second day of
January, 1895, the date upon which Bull
Run water was turned Into the mains
of the City of Portland, there has not
been at any time any water pumped
into the mains of the City of Portland
from the Willamette River." It may
be added that none of the suburbs of
Portland gets its water supply from
the Willamette River.
"If it is not true, just simply say so
and we will admit it," remarks the
Journal. We say so.
HATCHERY METHODS AT FAULT.
Theoretically, salmon hatchery meth
ods of the Columbia River are very fine.
but practically very poor. The same
thing is true of the lesser Coast
streams. For, though a large amount
of fish have been hatched every year,
the supply of salmon does not increase
and there are authorities who say it is
diminishing. It is self-evident that
predicted return of the expected mil
lions of adult fish from the many times
that number of fry does not take place.
No doubt overfishing has reduced the
supply of seed fish for hatcheries and
made small the takes of salmon eggs,
especially in the last two seasons. The
matter of. overfishing is a subject by it
self, and can be adduced as one of the
great reasons for decline or standstill
of the salmon industry. But on the
other side, the hatchery system Is
largely at fault also, and for this prin
cipal reason: The yopng fish are not
retained until large enough to escape
their enemies; they are devoured in
large quantities by other larger mem
bers of the finny species; they are
swept In large quantities into irrigat
ing ditches, there to perish.
Provision must be made for retaining
and feeding the fry until they shall
have grown large enough to , foil their
enemies. It is well known by anglers
that trout devour vast numbers of the
fry, for they are found in the stomachs
of the predatory fish. In a letter to a
canneryman of Astoria, R. D. Hume,
of Curry County, Insists that the Leg
islature "should take up the matter
earnestly and pass some act to correct
the present conditions." Says he:
The runs are becoming less and less every
year in spite of the money spent and the
millions and millions of fry and eggs put
Into the streams My operations
and writings for the past 30 years should
convince most minds that such work as has
been carried on by the state Is of no use.
Where are the millions of fry" that have
been turned Into the tributaries of the' Co
lumbia for that long period? . . . N,
Those interested (which means the state)
should wake up ere it Is too late to pre
serve the seed. One-tenth of the fryiwhlch
It is purported has been put in, if fed, until
six inches in length, would make the Co
lumbia teem with salmon, and only cost a
trifle compared with the amount for which
we have been taxed heretofore. There Is a
continual call for more, and doubtless more
would come cheerfully and quickly if there
was evidence of a benefit.
As you know, the runs in the Columbia
are fast deteriorating in quantity and qual
ity, and as many perceive, the later runs
are steadily growing less year by year.
Nothing will save the stream from total ex
tinction as a salmon stream for canning and
cold-storage but the adoption of feeding sta
tions; of this I am satisfied, and, in fact,
have proven, tha the only good that has
come to Rogue River is through eggs
hatched in the lower rivers and the result
ant fry fed until they could eat, Instead of
being, eaten. There should be an entire
change in the methods now in vogue, and it
would seem that 30 years was time enough
to demonstrate the weakness of the meth
ods heretofore pursued.
Here is something on which the fish
ery interests, should be able to agree.
Their failure to agree on practically
every remedy heretofore has put the
industry in its present plight. More in
tent on present gain than on future
progress of the industry, and quarrel
ing over every method of protection
lest it would curtail their grab, they
have been seizing all the fish they
could, worth taking. When the closed
season law stood in their way they
have Ignored it and then had it amend
ed to their purpose, so as to save their
faces with the rest of the state. The
saving of salmon fry ought to be a
subject on which they can get together,
since it will cost them nothing nor af
fect any one class of gear nor trench
upon the open season. ,
NEW FOOTBALL METHOD.
Nothing much is talked of In and around
the club these days except football. While
there is some difference of opinion as to
what the new rules will do to the game,
nearly all concede that there will be much
more . kicking and open play, and conse
quently mere beeflness will not count as
much as of old. The rules being new, un
usual Interest is necessarily taken until the
rpoters can Tee just what it takes to con
stitute a crackerjack football player. Ex
tract from football news article.
The "beefiness" of football, has in
duced many ' persons, heretofore, to
place the game beside "brute" specta
cles. For It has seemed that the
"beefy" men were the hardest "to stop"
and gave the severest bumps and piled
up heaviest on their rivals and made
the most accidents- Many have be
lieved the game fit only for such play
ers. This has not always been the
truth, as the spectators in Portland
who have seen the feats of light men
like Kerrigan and Chet Murphy will
testify, but the big man has predomi
nated oftenest.
There is wide difference of opinion as
to whether the new rule will lessen ac
cidents and "dirty" work and reduce
the advantage possessed over the light,
agile player by the "beefy" man.
The new rules promise a more "open"
style of playing and fewer mass forma
tions. It is said . thai the game will
benefit from more spectacular features,
in which punting, individual agility and
fleetness will have better opportunity;
also that there will be less ssaullng of
heads and breaking of bones and less
chance to "slug" without detection by
the referee.
Effort to reform the game has been
a righteous campaign. But that too
much reform may be expected seems
likely. Brawn will be required as much
as before. The five center men must
be stronger, in order to defend the work
of the backs in offensive and to break
up the opposing line and tear through
Its formations in defensive. These five
men will be held to the line because it
will not be of advantage to use them
in advancing the ball as heretofore,
when five yards on three downs was
the progress required, Instead of tenjl as
now. Do not these functions call for
more strength in the line, more weight
and more "beeflness"?
On the part of the backs, however,
more fleetness of foot will be needed
to advance the ball. Harder work will
be thrown on the backs and this may
require substitution Of fresh players.
It has been said that under the new
rules two sets of back field men no
longer will be regarded as an athletic
luxury, but as an athletic necessity,
and that this was indicated even last
year by the way in which Yale won
from Harvard.
That the new method will lessen ac
cidents is not yet clear. Captain ShevT
lin, of last year's Yale team, an adher
ent of the old method of heavy attack,
Bays that the new rules will revolu
tionize the game, but "that accidents In
the open field may become more numerous.-
If such shall be the outcome,
the rules must again be taken In hand
by college faculties and presidents, and
amended so as further to take away
from the "beefy" men opportunities to
prevail over rivals less brawny and
lighter. After that the game may not
be so vulnerable to the criticism that
it is an athletic spectacle for a few
favored participants, as prizefighting is,
rather than an athletic exercise for
many.
In view of present proceedings it may
be well to recall a decision of the Fed
eral Supreme Court made five years
ago as to whether Cuba Is a part of
the United States. This decision was
made In the celebrated case of Neely,
an employe of the Havana Postofflce,
who embezzled public funds, fled to the
United States and was arrested here.
He resisted extradition to Cuba on the
ground that the act of Congress ex
tending the extradition law so as to
cover "any foreign country or territory
occupied or under the control of the
United States" could not apply to Cuba
because she was domestic, not foreign,
territory under the control of the
United States. The Supreme Court in
a unanimous opinion reached the con
clusion that Neely should be extradited,
using these words: "... within
the meaning of the (extradition) act of
June 6, 1900, Cuba Is foreign territory.
It cannot be regarded m any constitu
tional, legal or international sense, a
part of the territory of the United
States." When the decision was made
Cuba was under our military control,
but this fact, the court held, did not
make it domestic territory, since Con
gress had distinctly disclaimed any in
tention of exercising jurisdiction or
sovereignty over it except for the pur
pose of pacification.
By universal consent the United
States leads in the art of newspaper
advertising, but it has remained for a
Paris syndicate to evolve a new indus
try based on the value of publicity.
Briefly stated, the purpose of the syn
dicate is to create literary geniuses out
of budding writers who have money or
rich relatives willing to put up the
money. This concern agrees to secure
for an author an editorial leader for
$400; a secondary leader for $200; para
graphs, $4 to $8 a line. For larger sums
the author will be declared a genius
and hack-writers engaged to coin such
adjectives as "euperbalzackian," "su
prashakeapearean," "hyperaeschylian,"
etc. this being part of the game
known as the "industry of literature."
For practical results the Paris scheme
is not likely to be so effective as our
blunt, properly labeled advertising in
the advertising columns.. While the
"six best sellers" may not measure lit
erary worth, they reflect what book
buyers want and fix the royalties of
the author whose product gets into that
coveted list.
The postal and military departments
of the Government seem to dread pub
licity almost as much as Standard Oil
does. Let us hope it Is not for the
same reason. Railway mail clerks
must 6ay nothing disrespectful about
the railroad magnates; soldiers must
give no information to the friends of a
dead comrade that might support, a
claim for damages' against the Gov
ernment. These rules cannot be auto
cratic, for they apply to Americans;
but in Russia that adjective would be
very appropriate.
That old Christian hero. Dr. I. D.
Driver, has outlived almost all his con
temporaries, and his voice is still vigor
bus in the Methodist conference. He
has never missed a rollcall during the
long years of his earthly pilgrimage,
and "when the roll is called up yonder"
we may be sure that he will be there.
Mean and petty seems the greed for
gold beside the devotion of a life like
his to a great cause.
The Oregon colleges are now all in
session and the football classes are do
ing fine work. Later in the season it
is said that some of the colleges will
organize classes In Latin and mathe
matics. It is surprising that students
can still be found to take up these anti
quated subjects, but tradition is very
persistent in institutions of learning.
Assessor Sigler proudly points to the
fact that the total county assessment
for the current year rolls up to $182,
500,000. But he could have done better,
a great deal better, If he had borrowed
the justly celebrated city directory mul
tiple of 2 and added a few hundred
millions to our wealth.
The president of the bank at Middle
port, O., has "gone away." The depos
its have gone with him. The only con
solation in the case seems to be that
the depositors were all poor and had
little to lose. "Who'll be the next?"
Speaker Cannon, who isn't worrying
about his own election, Is going to take
the stump for Mr. Hughes in New
York. Hardly necessary. Mr. HVarst
has done everything that can be done
for Mr. Hughes.
Butcher Fritz, after all, told the
truth. A ptrange woman did rob him
of $9000. It had been thought that Fritz
was a great liar. But be is vindicated.
He is simply an aes.
Bridegroom Velguth, it seems, still
has money to blow In on automobiles.
But perhaps that little run to Oregon
City was complimentary from his old
friend the chauffeur.
It is just possible that after the No
vember election Mr. Hearst may be re
minded again of his favorite newspaper
maxim that "you can't fool all the peo
ple all the time."
The Washington Democrats indorse
Bryan, but condemn his opinions, in
accordance with the text which com
mands us to love the sinner while we
hate bis sins.
Mr. Taft believes in giving Cuba an
other chance. That's all right, since
just now Cuba is in a humor to take
anything anybody gives her.
Mr. Hearst seems to have succeeded
Jn reading nearly all the New York
Democrats out of the Democratic
party. - '
Odell says all he wants Is peace In
New York. There is peace where Odell
now reposes In the political boneyard.
The world doesn't know what has
happened at Atlanta for the past forty
eight hours. Perhaps It Is as well.
If there is to be no grain to handle, It
will scarcely pay the grainhandlers to
win their strike.
Palma doesn't, have to turn the other
cheek. Let him come up and Intervene
In New York.
NEW STYLES IN CENSUSES.
Forest Grove, Too, Wants to Adapt
Directory Method.
Forest Grove Times.
The Portland public schools com
menced last week with 14.300 pupils in
attendance. The new city directory
was issued the same week and the di
rectory publishers claimed a popula
tion of 185,000 for the city. This was
one scholar in school to 13y, of popu
lation. The Forest Grove public
schools began this week with 250 pu
pils in attendance. According to the
Portland directory's method of esti
mate then Forest Grove must have
over 3000 of population. Portland's
census taken In May showed 28,500
children of school age in the district,
so practically Just one-half of them
were in attendance the opening week.
Forest Grove's school census taken at
the same time showed 530 pupils In the
district, so just about half were in
school here also. Therefore we are safe
in saying that proportions are about
the same here as there, and that proves
that we have a population of 3300. So
let's claim all that is coming to us!
It does not matter if a count was
made by the County Assessor last April
which showed we had only about 2000
population in this district. We know
that we only have 2000, but if Portland
Is to be credited with 185,000 then we
want to be credited with 3000. We
knew Portland don't have much over
half what those ridiculous boomers
claim, but we don't propose to let any
body get the edge on us in a count, so
we have 3000, and as another family is
coming In next week we will call it
3500 jast to be in style and make it
round numbers. Staid up for your town
if you do make a laughing stock of
yourself!
A Bojrus and a I tea I Census,
Albany Democrat.
What's the use of trying to make a
city a good deal larger than it really is?
It Is not a circus affair and should not
be treated so. One circus claimed over
1000 performers in, one act. The editor
of the Democrat counted them as they
passed In review on the track of the
circus and there were a few over 200.
This census business Is something like
this, only perhaps not so much so. In
many eities the spirit seems to be that
the bigger the reputation of population
the better for the city. A good many
years ago a directory man made the
census of Albany about 4800. no question
about it. A government census about the
same time made it 3190, which was about
what it was. If a census was taken In
Portland today, with all the suburbs
thrown in it would take rustling and not
forgetting any of the Chinamen and the
transients at the hotels to bring it up to
130,000. The last special census showed
110,000, and that wasn't very long ago.
Twenty thousand since then would be a
big gain. The city Is growing fast, and at
the present rate it will be only a few
years when the population really is over
150,000.
Real Queen Sells Needlework.
Boston Herald.
Maria Sophia, formerly Queen of Na
ples, has started a dainty little store In
the Rue St. Roch. Paris. It is called
"Aux Ouvrages Calabrais," and is de
voted entirely to the sale of needlework
done by the Calabrian peasant women.
Almost daily Queen Maria Sophia, who
is also Queen of the two Sicilies and of
Jerusalem, Duchess of Parma, of Plai
sance and Castro and Grand Duchess of
Bavaria and Tuscany, comes to the little
store and superintends the window dress
ing. The proceeds of the sales go to help
the peasants rebuild homes destroyed by
the recent catastrophe.
No Husband Ever Thus Goes Wrong.
St. Johns Review.
Another chapter in the Velguth case
culminated Wednesday when the gas
company's money juggler married his
fair mistress at Oregon City. It would
have been Infinitely better if this little
transaction had occurred a few months
earlier, but then the public at large would
in all probability never have known there
were such persons as Velguth and Na
dine Nichols. We note the fact that men
never steal money to buy diamonds for
their wives. It Is invariable for some
other woman that they lose their heads.
A Helpmeet Who Helps.
Woodburn Independent.
A woman was awarded first prize at
the State Fair in the single farm compe
tition. It may be noted that all men
farmers did not compete, neither did all
the women farmers, or the victory for
woman might have remained. The old
Oregon man farmer might succeed better
if he consulted his wife oftener as to the
best method of farming.
The Labors of Gompers.
Nashville American.
Gompers says that "the laboring people
have outgrown the stooped back and re
ceding forehead of 'The Man With the
Hoe." They now stand erect." That's
fine, but still they eat bread in the sweat
of their faces while Sammy munches pie
In the salivary secretions of his bellig
erent tongue, since his only job seems to
be working the worklngman.
-When Legislatures Are In Session.
Greensboro (N. C.) News.
We respectfully suggest that when the
state tanes charge of the railroads a law
be passed limiting the number of at
torneys to one for every two miles of
road.
A GOOD
THE POWER OF PAPER AND INK.
Mr. Dooley Tells How They Dominate
American Life Today.
F. P. Dunne, in the American Magazine.
"A few years ago," said Mr. Dooley,
"I thought that if I had a son I'd made
a lawyer iv him. It was th' fine pro
fession. Th" lawyers took 'all th' money
an' held down all th' jobs. A lawyer got
ye into trouble by makin' the laws an' got
ye out iv th' throuble be bustln' thim.
Some lawyers on'y knew th' law, poor
fellows, but others knew th' holes in th'
law that made It as aisy f'r a million
aire to keep out iv th' pinitinchry as f r
a needle to enther th' camel's eye, as
Hogan says. These lawyers niver had
to worry about payin' their gas bills. Mc
Kinley was a lawyer, Cleveland was a
lawyer, an' Bryan was a lawyer till he
knew betther.
"But 'tis far diff'rent now, Hinnissy.
If I had a son 'tis little time I'd spind
larnin' him what some dead Englishman
thought Thomas Jefferson was goin' to
mean whin he wrote th' Constitution. No,
sir, whin me son and heir was 8 years
old an' had read all th' best iv th' clas
sical authors fr'm Deadwood Dick to or
Sleuth th' Detective. I'd put a pineil in
his hand an' shove him out into th'
wurruld as a grreat iditor. I wud so.
F'r th' lawyers are too busy studyin' haby
as corpus proceedln's to do annything
else, an' 'tis th' Palajeem iv our Liber
ties that Is runnin' th' counthry an' is
goin' to run it f'r a long time to come.
"What's the use Iv a lawyer annyhow?
If I get a good wan ye may nire a bet
ther. Th' more money a man has th'
betther lawyer he can get, but th' more
money a man has th' worse iditor he's
liable to get. All anny lawyer can do is
to holler at another lawyer.
"Sure th' printed wurruld is th" fine
business an' I'd be th' gr'reat hand at
it, f'r there's nawthin" I like betther
than gettin people out iv throuble onless
it's gettin' thim into it. It's th' on'y
power in th' wurruld that's worth talkin'
about. No head is so high that it can't
hit it an' none so low that it can't raise
it up. If a sudden current shud tear me
out iv this here backwather where I'm
anchored an' make me th' publlck char
ackter I wanst was whin I was captain
iv me precinct, 'tis not what I was but
what th' papers wud say I was that'd
make the goose flesh stand out on me
an' disturb me dreams. What I've done
I've done an' It rests between me an'
Father Kelly. But it's what all the
wurruld says I've done an' believes I've
done that's goin' to make th' difference
with me. I take all th' pa-apers an' read
thim fr'm end to end. I don't believe
a bad thins: thev print about anny iv
me frinds, but I believe ivrything about
annybody else. Many a man I don t
know'd be surprised to hear I wudden't
speak to him on account iv what I think
I know Iv him. I'm personally acquainted
with ivry prominent man in the wurruld
through th' pa-apers, but I cudden't
swear there was iver such a person as
Tiddy Rosenfelt. I niver see him. So
far as I'm concerned, Hinnissy, th' man
that's prisidlnt iv ye an' me an' sivinty
million others was made in a newspaper
office be some bright young fellow in
his shirt sleeves and smokin' a corn cob
pipe. He happened to be feelln' good
so he made an atthractive charackter.
But th' rale Tiddy Rosenfelt instead iv
beln' a short, thickset man, with rows iv
flashin' teeth, a cheerful demeanor an'
a pugynacious disposition, may be a long,
lean man with red side whiskers, no teeth
at all an' scared to death Iv Slcretary
Shaw. Some day th' young fellow that
made him may make him over an' tmn
I'll have another busted idol. It's th'
same with William Jennings Bryan, th'
Czar, King Edwr.rd or annybody else.
They're all made out In newspapers th'
way ye'er little boy makes a cocked hat
an' thin turns it into a boat, s Desthroy
th' newspapers an' they'd disappear like
th' figures off a klnetyscope screen.
They're alive while th' Ink lasts; tlyy're
dead th' minlt the iditor says: 'We pass
on to the nixt cage.' Be hlvens, Hinnissy,
if I can't believe what I read about peo
ple I don't know, I'm a lost man.
"People tell ye they don't care what
is said about thim in print. They don't
if it's pleasant. If ye said a man was
a greater pote thin Shakespere, a greater
gin'ral thin Napoleon, a gr'reater states
man thin Thomas Jefferson, he'd have
a feelin' that ye'd done him scant justice
on'y because If ye didn't ye'er readers
wud indignantly stop th' paper. Ye niver
read iv annybody writin in that his at
tlntion has been called to a paragraph
praisin' him an' regretting that stuff has
been published about him that- shud be
kept fr'm his tombstone. But if ye print
a squib down in th' right hand corner iv
th' twelfth page followin' pure adver
tlsin' matther to th' gin'ral effect that his
past life In Missoury ,s known to th'
Iditor he'll be around that mornin' with
a gun an' a lawyer. Fr'm me experyence
with newspapers I'd advise him to lave
both on th' sidewalk an' go up th' Hi
vator on his knees.
"Th' on'y people that don't mind what's
printed about thim are those whose pitch
ers are already In th' Rogues' Gallery.
But let a man be on'y half or three
quarthers square, as most iv us are. an'
he fears less a rijimint iv sogers with a
gatling gun poundin at th' dure thin
th' touch Iv a rayporther's hand on th"
dure bell. There lie sets, th' patriarch,
carvin' the turkey an' scowlln' down on
th' asslmhled family. He is th' boss Iv
that establishment, a man iv ruthless
power with wife an' chlldher, a modal
husband an' father to thim. His con
science is clear because he thinks no
body knows. He's about to tell thim
how ondesarvln' they are iv such a spouse
an' papa whin th' hired girl whispers
there's a rayporther in th' parlor. Wtyy,
chlldher, does father's knife an' fork
an' jaw drop at wanst? Why does a pale
green flush of indignation mantle his
bold crow? Why oes his legs wobble a
little as he laves the room? Ah, little
wans, I can't tell ye. Finish ye'er sup
per an' slape wan more night In peace.
Ye'll know all about it in th' mornin"
whin ye and ye're playmates gather
around th' first spechal exthry."
YEAR
From the Chicago Record-Herald.
SOME FEATURES
OF THE SUNDAY
OREGONIAN
First and foremost, all the world's
news by Associated Press, special
correspondents and members of Th
Oregonian staff, maklnjc the fullest
and most complete record of any
Pacific Coast newspaper.
ORGANIZED "ROUGH HOUSE"
AT STANFORD UNIVERSITY
Here is the story of a substitute
for hazing, which the faculty were
trying to break up when the earth
quake last April broke up the col
lege. Now on the Stanford cam
pus they have regulated, officered,
organized "rough house," blat
ant and unashamed, arranged
by the football coach, espoused
by grave professors and enjoying
the presence of President Jordan
on the side lines. This compro
mise between faculty and student
will interest every man who went
to college or sent a boy there.
CHUCKWAGON CAL.
ON REFORMED SPELLING
First of a series of unconventional
essays by a plainsman. Chuck
wagon Cal. is the cook of a cow
herders' outfit, and has advanced
ideas on civilization and twentieth
century ethics and intellectual cul
ture. He la a quaint personage
and his diction is in keeping with
his natural bent. To get ac
quainted with Cal., read what he
has to say about Roosevelt and
the oraer to the public printer.
FROM SCRUB GIRL TO WIFE
OF AN ENGLISH PEER
Cinderella romance in real life, in
volving Camille Clifford, a former
"slavey" who became the Gibson
girl in the "Prince of Pilsen" Com
pany and is soon to become the
bride of Hon. Henry Lyndhurst
Bruce. Seven years ago Camille
was a kitchen domestic, an orphan
and owes her rise to a kindly
aunt.
SAVING THE BIG TREES
OF CALIFORNIA
But for Governmental interference
these giants would have been sac
rificed years ago to lumbermen's
greed. On this subject, we have
an excellent article showing
The absolute unselfishness of the
policy of creating National forest
- reserves, called forth by the bit
ter attack of Senator Heyburn, of
Idaho, at the recent irrigation con
gress. BIG SONS-IN-LAW OF
BIG MEN AND OTHERS
One of Dexter Marshall's human
documents concerning personages
who figure large in the world's
activities. He puts "Joe" Cham
berlain, who married Miss Endi
cott, an American, at the head of
the list of the living, and
includes several distinguished
men who advanced their for
tunes by marrying well. Per
haps few of the present genera
tion know that Jefferson Davis,
President of the Confederate
States of America, married the
daughter of Zachary Taylor, af
terwards President of the United
States. It was a runaway match.
Mr. Marshall tells all about It.
THE BURNT RANCH
ON BURNT RIVER
A narrative of the time when
Chief Bigfoot was on the warpath
In Eastern Oregon a historical
sketch of how a settler's bravery,
marksmanship and strategy over
came a superior force of murder
ous redskins.
MARKED GROWTH OF
LIBERAL RELIGION
Rev. George Crosswell Cressey,
writing from England, notes Uie
deadlock between France and
Rome and pictures the outcome.
He also tells of a growing spirit
of unorthodoxy throughout Great
Britain. Incidentally he gives the
British attitude toward tho spell
ing reform movement in the
United States.
KINDLINESS IN JAPAN
IS ALMOST UNIVERSAL
Annie Laura Miller made a visit
to one of the beautiful Interior
provinces of the island and tells
of the courtesies shown to the
stranger by the common people.
Miss Miller throws some Interest
ing sicl3lights on the myths and
ideals of the little brown people.
MR. DEVERY STRIKES
THE TOWN OF LONDON
Our New York cynic rejoices that
he is once more among a people
whose language he understands
without an interpreter, and is
deeply Impressed with the all-absorbing
British love for the dumb
beast. Incidentally, Mr. Devery
tells of the trip acroXs the Eng
lish Channel but not . after the
fashion of other distinguished
travelers.
BOOK REVIEWS AND
NEWS OF LITERARY FIELD
The newest books are described,
and all that's notable about men
and women workers in the literary
field, see the book page. Books
reviewed this week are: "Thirteen
Men," by W. A. Fraser: "Max
Fargus," by Owen Johnson;
Brooks' Readers," by Superin
tendent Stratton D. Brooks:
"Milne's Progressiva Arithmetics,"
by President William J. Milne;
"Holder's Half Hours with Fishes,
Reptiles and Birds." by Charles
Frederick Holder; "The Bishop of
Cottontown," by John Trotwood
Moore; "The Day's Journey," by
Netta Syrett: "Moon Face and
Other Stories," by Jack London;
"Tonio, Son of the Sierras," by
General Charles King: "Power
Lot," by Sarah P McLean Green:
"The Spirit of Democracy," by
Charles Fletcher Dole; "Disen
chanted," by Pierre Loti; "The
Little King of Angel's Landing."
by Elmore Elliott Peake: "The Re
newal of Life," by Margaret War
ner Morley; "The Guardjed
Flame," by W. B. Maxwell;
GOSSIP AND NEWS
IN THE WORLD OF SPORT
Football takes a prominent place
In tomorrow's sporting depart
ment. The game promises to at
tain even greater popularity than
ever in the Northwest this sea
son. The new rules, and the
prospects and schedules of the
various teams are matters of
general interest. The latest in
baseball is also to be found, in
cluding an account of the open
ing week in California of Port
land's pennant-winners. A San
Francisco letter from Harry B.
Smith.
SOCIETY. MUSIC
AND THE DRAMA
With each week Interest is In
creasing In these phases of Port
land life. Many pages of The
Sunday Oregonian are devoted
each week to describing the lead
ing happenings of the local social
world, and to theatrical and mu
sical news. photographs and
sketches by jtaff artists are used
In making attractive these de
partments. SOCIAL EVENTS AT
THE NATIONAL CAPITAL
Washington society is now tak
ing on new life with the return
of its prominent residents from
their Summer pilgrimages. De
lightful weather has made pos
sible a great deal of outdoor life,
and golf, tennis, horseback-riding
and other open-air pastimes
are much In vogue.