THE MOEJflSG .OKEGOXUS. .WEDXESDAT,. MAY 16, -190G. Entered at the Pootoffice at Portland, Or., as Second-Class Matter. pifBriCRIPTIOX BATES. C INVARIABLY IN ADVANCE. "VI (By Mall or Express.) DAILY. SUNDAY INCLUDED. Twelve months .-. . JS OO Six months . Three months 7 -. 2.25 one month "5 Delivered by carrier, per year 9.O0 Delivered by carrier, per month .75 Lena time, per week -20 Sunday, one year - Weekly, one vear tissued Thursday). .. l '0 Sunrtav and Weeklv. one year 8.a0 HOW TO REMIT Send postoffice money order, express order or personal check on your local bank. Stamps, coin or currency are at the sender's risk. EASTERN BISINES8 OFFICE. The 8. C. Benkwitb Special Agency New York, rooms 4S-50. Tribune building. Chi cago, rooms 510-51'.! Tribune building. KEPT ON BALE. Chieaa-fj Auditorium Annex, Postoffice News i'o.. 178 Dearborn street. St. Paul. Minn. N. St. Marie, Commercial Station. Denver Hamilton A Kendrick. 806-012 fceventeenth street; Pratt Book Store. 1214 Fifteenth street; 1. W'einstein. t.oldfield. Net. Frank Sandstrom. Kansas City, Mo. Klcksecker Cigar Co., Ninth and Walnut. Minneapolis M. J. Kavanaugh, 30 South Third. Cleveland. O. James Pushaw, 807 Su perior street. New Vork City 1.. Jones Co., Astor House. Oakland, Cal. W. H. Johnston. Four teenth and FiatikCu streets; N. Wheatley. Osrden- D. I.. Boyle. Omaha Barkalovt Bros. 161 Farnam: Mageatli Stationery To.. 1308 Farnam; 240 rk-l.th Fourteenth. Karramento, Cal. Sacramento News Co., 4;ill K street. Salt Lalie Salt Lake News Co., 77 West Second street South; Miss I., ljevin, 24 Church street. l.us Angeles B. K. Amos, manager seven street wagons; Ben News Co.. 32tl v South iiroadway. San lliego B. E. Amos. Pasadena, Cal. flerl News Co. San Francisco Foster & Orear, Ferry .Jvetv, Stand. Uasblugtvn, D. C. Ebbltt House. Penn sylvania avenue. rORTLAND, WEDNESDAY. MAY 18, 19O0. A FALNE ACCUSATION. A certain lawyer of fine presence and good practice who passed to the bar of the higher court with the last genera tion kept a student In his office accord ing to the good, old custom. One day the student in reading over the docu ments which his preceptor had prepared for the trial of a case came upon (he notes for his address to the Jury, with, hints along the mifVgln for its effective delivery. Here the learned- advocate admonished himself to look up towapd heaven; there he was to weep; and o on until finally the wondering youth lit upon the startling words "insult the court." What possible advantage could a lawyer pain by insulting the court? The preceptor proceeded to explain and the student admired in silence. "If I insult the Judge, I make him angry at nie. Being angry, he suspects himself of a prejudice against me; and, dread ing lest his prejudice turn awry the course of justice, he will lean toward my side of the case in his , rulings." The youth made a reverential bow and retired to his apartment to digest what he had learned. The ideal of every judge, as the old lawyer well knew, is to be impartial. Just as a soldier must be brave and a priest pure and a lawyer faithful to his client, so a Judge holds himself bound to be Impartial. The obligation Is both personal and professional. The judge who violates it not only blackens his ow n character and destroys his hopes of high renown, but he also desecrates the noblest of human institutions and un dermines the foundations of the social order. Once destroy the confidence of mankind in the courts of justice and anarchy becomes Inevitable. Of all of fenses against society, therefore, preju dice in a Judge is the worst, and no monk In his solitary cell ever inspected his soul for blotches of sin so relent lessly as the modern judge inspects his mlml for the barest trace of unfairness. Those who glibly assume that Hay wood, Moyer and Pettlbone have been prejudgud by the courts and will be executed without regard to their guilt rr Innocence commit the identical social crime of which they accuse the Idaho Judges. That is. they condemn without evidence. The accusation is made by certain newspapers not too well balanced in thought or temperate In expression. Stripped of its passionate verbiage, it runs something like this: Moyer and his companions are workingmen: the .indites are dependent for office and emoluments upon capital and are there fore subwrvient to it; and, since capi tal demands the execution of these prisoners, they will be sentenced to death even if they are innocent. This accusation has been made widely and persistently ever since the Federation officials were arrested. We wish to show thai-it is groundless. In the first place, the reputation of the courts for impartiality Is a fact which must be accounted for. Such a reputation could never have hern acquired if the judges had been fair sometimes and sometimes unfair, according as their own interests or wishes prompted them. It is so nearly universal and so deep-seated, in the public consciousness, that it must cor respond closely with the facts. Impar tiality must have been the rule with the courts, and it must have prevailed ITactically without exceptions for a long time, or they would never have gained that public confidence which they jiow uijoy. It is too much to say that no Judge has ever shown bias in the course ' bf "our history, but bias against the prisoner in a criminal case Is a rare 'exception. There is an enor mous balance of probability that the Judge who is to try any particular pris oner in his anxiety to be impartial will lean to the side of the accused rather than against him. Such is the practice in this country. It is so notoriously the practice that it has been made a re proach to American Jurisprudence and tt prevails, no matter whether the man on trial Is poor or rich, no matter whether he Is a capitalist or a work Ingman. The law and the courts In this country are notoriously on the side of the accused. Hence the prediction that Haywood. Mover and Pettlbone will not have a fair trial amounts to the expectation that in their case all the ordinary prac tice and all the established rules of criminal procedure will be suspended: that the Judge is without conscience or honor, the jury without integrity or in telligence, and the defendants' lawyers without ability. For. even If the court were never so bitterly prejudiced against the prisoner, the trial must be fair if the lawyers are able and watch ful. The judge can say or-do nothing contrary to the law unless he is permit tod by the defense. If he displays the least prejudice his rulings will be re versed upon appeal. Better still, the Jury Is keen to suspect partiality in the Judge and Invariably resents It. In the unthinkable care that he wished to murder the prisoners on trial before him he cou'd not hope that twelve fair minded men would conspire w ith him to do such a deed. Out of the twelve , surely there would be one man who was not an assassin, and one would be enough to save the prisoners' lives. But let us grant for a -moment that the Judge and Jury who are to try Moyer and his companions are all mur derers. Let us also grant that their lawyers are imbecile and that "capital," whatever that vague word may denote, can direct the trial to suit itself. What would be the effect upon the public mind If capital should put them to death without producing evidence to prove their guilt beyond a reasonable doubt? Has assassination ever bene fited any man or any cause among English-speaking peoples? Has it not invariably ruined those who employed it? If Capital could assassinate the Federation officials, by a mock trial or otherwise, and should venture to do so. is it rent certain that the word itself and those whom it designates would be come forever abhorrent to the Amer ican people and that their cause would from that day be doomed? What in Jury could Haywood, Moyer and Pettl bone inflict upon Capital, If they la bored all their lives and if they were a thousand times as gifted as they are, which would compare in ruinous conse quences with their judicial murder? Capital may be greedy and cruel, but it is not stupid. It may commit crimes, but it does not make mistakes so pat7 ent and fatuous as this would be. The mere fact that Capital is suspected of desiring their execution Is probably the best of all possible assurances that Moyer and his companions will have a trial absolutely fair. A RIFT IN THE CLOCOS. There is yet hope for an American merchant marine. Not one of the weak, sickly, subsjdy-pap-nurtured af fairs to be used principally as a vehicle for graft on the Treasury, but a ood sound, economical merchant marine that can float on its own bottom and meet the oompetition of the world. Sec retary Taft has laid the foundation for this merchant marine by insisting that supplies for the Panama Canal be pur chased In the cheapest market, and to emphasize the importance of the princi ple involved he mentions in a letter, which is approved by the President, the purchase of two large seagoing suction dredges in Scotland at a material re duction in the price demanded by American manufacturers. Of course we have not yet got far enough along on the road to reform to expect that the Government will permit the private in dividual in need of an ocean-going dredge to buy it where he can buy it the cheapesl, but the action of Secre tary Tait to a degree establishes a pre cedent and shows the possibilities of the new system. Seagoing dredges are built In the same yards and, by the same class of workmen as merchant marine vessels. If the German, British, French, Norwe gian, Japanese or any Important mari time nation except the United States has a shipowner who is desirous of add ing ships to his fleet and glory to the flag of his country, he is at perfect lib erty to buy where he can buy the cheapest. . This privilege, enjoyed by our competitors for Ihe carrying trade and denied our own capitalists, is the greatest handicap suffered by the American who desires to engage in the shipping business. The handicap Is so manifestly unjust that Secretary Taft has refused to submit to it in provid ing equipment for. the Panama Canal, i But if it is right for the Government to save money on its purchases, why should this right be denied private citi zens? Is the Government, like the trusts, so needy that It must enjoy these special privileges while the tax payers who foot the bills are not al lowed to participate in them? This ac tion of Secretary Taft, sanctioned by President Roosevelt, is fraught with great possibilities. The first tiny stream which seeps through an embankment is of small consequence, but it rapidly eats out a wider channel through which a torrent eventually ru6hes. If the Government is permitted to buy cheap dredges - and ships, the people should and eventually will have the same privilege. FRESH-WATER HARBORS. The International Association of Sailing-Ship Owners, which for the past three years has maintained an un just, unfair and inexcusable differential of Is 3d per ton against Portland, will hold its annual meeting early next month. If the association members will kindly indulge in a mathematical cal culation on the length of time con sumed by their ships in making the homeward passage from Portland ani Puget Sound, and also take Into consid eration the delays Suffered by their ves sels on Puget Sound as compared with their experience at Portland, there should be a strong inclination either to eliminate the differential or turn it around and make" the discrimination against Puget Sound. Facts are stub born things, and figures cannot lie. For that reason no difficulty will be encoun tered In determining how much more time was lost by the Puget Sound grain fleet this season than by the Portland grain fleet. Up to date, eighteen of the Portland grain fleet for Europe have arrived out, and twenty ot the fleet from Puget Sound have been reported. Of the Portland fleet the fastest pass age was 103 days, and the slowest 179 days, the average for the eighteen ves sels being: 130.8 days. The Puget Sound fleet already reported shows the fastest passage to be 111 days, and the slowest 179 days, with an average for the fleet of 140.5 days, or practically ten days longer than the passage from the Co lumbia River. The showing would have been still more favorable for Portland had it not been for the remarkably long passage of one vessel. The extent to which the average was affected by this long passage is indicated by the pas sages of the other Vessels. But seven of the Portland fleet 'were out more than 130 days, while fifteen of the ves sels from Puget Sound were out more than 130 days, and eleven of them were out more than 140 days. The demurrage charge on a grain ship of the average size, with her crew on board, is $200 per day, and, as the owners of the Puget Sound grain fleet lost ten days' use of their vessels as compared with the Portland fleet, the balance sheet will show a time handicap to the extent of $2000 against each of the vessels that arrived out from Puget Sound this sea son. If to this Is added the differential of Is 3d per ton which was accepted from Puget Sound, it will be found that the earnings of every grain ship arriving out from Puget Sound this season will be about $3000 less than the earnings of those sailing from Portland. These pas sages are reckoned from the time the vessels got clear of Neah Bay and As toria, but throughout the season there has been much more delay in getting vessels to sea from Tacoma or Seattle than there has been in getting them from Portland to the sea, some of the Tacoma grain fleet being held up for nearly a month after the cargo was aboard. So far as known, no definite attempt has been made to bring these facts before the shipowners, and possi bly without a full understanding of the unfair nature of the discrimination they may retain the differential for another year. That it is unfair and unreason able is plainly shown by action of some of the same members of the association who frequently, since establishment of the differential, have chartered lumber vessels to load at Portland at exactly the same rates as from Puget Sound. In the case of steamers which, on ac count of cheap fuel, should naturally take a lower rate from Puget Sound, there has never been a difference in rates at the two ports. If the Interna tional Association of Sailing-Ship Own ers is disposed to act fair in the matter at the coming meeting, it will supply Portland shippers with a bill of specifi cations stating wherein it is more ex pensive for ships at Portland than on Puget Sound. The ship William and Ann was wrecked at the mouth of the Columbia in 1828, and there were a few wrecks in later years, but they are so infrequent .now as not to be regarded as increasing the risk to Portland bound vessels over that of vessels going to other ports. There has also been some shanghalng done here, and ex cessive blood money was exacted by Jim Turk, who is dead; Bunko Kelly, who is in the penitentiary, and Larry Sullivan, who is in Tonapah. All these handicaps have been re moved, however. There were no delays at the bar or on the river in recent years, no excessive charge for sailors, and the ships having the advantage of a fresh-water harbor all made fine runs to Europe. For these reasons and a number of others, the shipowners could, without loss to themselves, equalize the Portland and Puget Sound grain rates. THE FAKE DEMOCRATIC CAMPAIGN. The local plutocratic organ, which, is permitted by its owners for reasons best known to themselves to support the Democratic ticket, has lately been printing glowing accounts of the Cham berlain tour of Eastern Oregon. Large audiences, torchlight processions, bril liant oratory, and immense enthusiasm are the common Incidents of the appear ance everywhere of the Governor and his party, according to the organ, Monday- evening, under a prominent head line, "Governor Is Greeted by the En tire Town," the organ had the follow ing: Union. May 14. Although It came at the Inconvenient hour of 1 o'clock in the after noon, the meeting addressed by Governor Chamberlain. J. D. Matlock and Robert A. Miller was attended by practically everybody in the town. The reception to the Governor was very enthusiastic and amounted to al most an ovation. His speech was one of the best he ever made at this place. There was more of the same kind of whoop-it-up campaign guff. The facts are that Chamberlain and party were not at Union on that afternoon, any other; and the news story in the organ was a bold fake, written at home, and published with no attempt to learn the facts. It illustrates two things the Journalistic misdeeds of the plutocratic organ, which never pays for real news, and rarely gets it, and the awkward straits of the Chamberlain campaign. A meeting had been scheduled for Union, but the date was canceled, evidently because a Democratic "mass meeting" held there the previous week had been attended by nine lonely citizens. Fear ing a frost, the Democratio manage ment took no chances, and avoided Union. The Chamberlain press bureau, however, failed to notify the organ, and it Went ahead and printed one of Its usual made-in-Portland telegraph dis patches. If you see It in the organ, they guessed at it. WEAVING THE OLD PARTY. It Is not surprising that the registra tion books show largely increased Re publican majorities. In 1904 thousands of men who had been Democrats voted for Roosevelt and made that the occa sion for their leaving the Democratic ranks permanently and Joining forces with the Republicans. In 1896 and in 190O, large numbers of Democrats left their party on the money issue and be came pronounced Republicans. Others whose confidence In their party was badly shaken quietly retained their party affiliation, hoping that another campaign would bring about conditions which would justify their course. The nomination of Parker and Davis, cold blooded aristocrats, in opposition to a Republican candidate whose heart beats in sympathy with the people, was one mora jolt that shook free the loosening hold of party affiliation. Some Democrats voted far Roosevelt, and still remain loyal to their party, hoping that 1908 will find the party worthy of con tinued support. Others who voted for Roosevelt did so with the expectation of voting in the future for Republican candidates. They could see no use in longer wasting their efforts upon a party that persists in being wrong. They prefer the party of peace, prog ress and prosperity. They made no public announcement of their change at the time, but the registration books show the increasing number of Repub licans. There is no encouragement for young men to go Into the Democratic party, while there is much In the history, the achievements and the principles of the Republican party to make it attractive to first voters. Chicago furnishes an unexpected and admirable object-lesson in moral brav ery. The directors of the Traders' In surance Company, which lost its capi tal, surplus and reserve fund, together with a million and a quarter more, in the San Francisco disaster, announce that enough stockholders will assess themselves to make good the losses and pay policy-holders in full. John J. Mitchell;- president of the Illinois Trust & Savings Bank, one of. the largest financial concerns in Chicago, and vice president of the insurance company, is responsible for this marked act of busi ness integrity. The world knows that corporations have no souls; yet men have, and once in a generation a big man arises t6 put human attributes into a mere money-making machine. A very interesting military move ment is planned for the coming Sum mer. The War Department and Presi dent Roosevelt have arranged and agreed upon a programme that will, if carried out, involve the ordering out of the entire regular Army, except the Coast Artillery. The purpose is to test the facilities for concentrating troops under conditions as closely as possible approximating those of war. It was the Intention last year to assemble a large body of troops in the vicinity of New port News, convey them under emer gency orders by transports to some roint on the New England coast, and have them, equipped for field service, march to their appointed stations. Lack of means prevented the carrying out of that plan, but this year it may be put into effect in modified form. The Army, with the exception noted, Is to be mo bilized at different camps in different parts of the country, when "alarms" will be sounded and the troops will march out as if to battle. The idea is one to stir the military ardor of the troops, which is naturally abated by long years of garrison life, and to test their endurance in stress of emergency. If carried out, people in the vicinity of large military posts will no doubt wit ness some stirring scenes scenes that can hardly fail to revive pride in the Nation's prowess that is a - necessary element In patriotism. v. A heavy rain in Umatilla and Walla Walla Counties on Monday added sev eral hundred thousand dollars to the value of the 1906 wheat crop. It is, of course, still too early to consider the crop safe, but a drenching rain in the middle of May is a pretty good safe guard against serious damage later, un less there should be a long-continued spell of dry weather, accompanied by hot winds. It has been ten years since the wheat crop in the Pacific Northwest has been seriously damaged by hot winds in June, and, & there was an unusually heavy fall of snow in the mountains last Winter, repetition of this trouble is hardly probable this sea son A succession of good crops and high prices has placed the farmers of Oregon and Washington in a good posi tion to withstand a setback of this na ture, but quite naturally none of them are desirous of again undergoing the unpleasant experience. In order to relieve passengers from the annoyance, of dense clouds of dust lifted into the air by the swiftly moving trains, the O. R. & N. Co. has arranged to sprinkle its track between Pendleton and Spokane with oil. Crude petroleum such as is used on the highways in California will be used. This is a rem edy which has often been suggested ,by passengers as an effective method of keeping down the dust, not only in Eastern Oregon, but in the Willamette Valley, where, in Summer, the dust rises In immense clouds at every road -crossing or wherever the railroad grade has been recently worked. It probably is not practicable for the Harrlman lines to sprinkle all their tracks at present, but in a few years some method will be in common use to elim inate this pleasure-destroying feature of railroad travel. If Rev. I. D. Driver puts as much en ergy and enthusiasm into the manage ment of his new 320-acre farm near Lebanon that he has put into preaching these many years, -.he will show the Linn County agriculturists how to ac complish things. The zeal with which Dr. Driver has preached the gospel in Oregon has driven the devil out of many a soul. Here's hoping that sim ilar zeal in the cultivation of the soil will result In the extermination of Can ada thistles, wild mustard, FreAch pink and dog fennel. A belated hail storm went skurrying over this section yesterday, its course set toward the Rocky Mountains, where such storms break now and then throughout the entire Summer. So far as noted, no damage was done, though the ice pellets bombarded blossoming rose bushes, tender green leaves and trees set with half-grown cherries and other small fruits, furiously for two or three minutes. They have, a happy way of saying a thing over in Malheur, as is shown by this item in Friday's Ontario Argus: "Governor Chamberlain,' Democratic candidate for Governor, will address the people of Ontario and vicinity this evening ot the" opera-house. The band will play, the Democrats will shout and Malheur County will go for Withy combe in June." John G. Woolley, the temperance lec turer, asserts after careful investiga tion that the consumption of intoxicat ing liquor is decreasing among the mid dle classes and is increasing among the idle rich and the idle poor. In other words, Mr. Woolley offers one more proof of the operation of the law of the survival of the Attest.. Theoretically, the plan fpr contour grading of the hills which make Port land's natural western boundary is flawless. The beauty of streets thus laid out is apparent. All that remains is to induce owners of the property to abandon right angles and plat building sites in conformity with topographical suggestion. And now the Cumberland Presby terian Cbjjrch asks for an injunction restraining its delegates from entering into a combine with the parent organ ization. To the iay mind this form of procedure looks reasonable. What is sauce for the sinner ought to be sauce for the saint. W. C. Hawley, the Republican nomi nee for Congress in the First District, says he believes that every man should be protected in the right of pursuit of happiness, but he would insist upon the coolie laborer pursuing his happiness in China. In which sentiment we can all concur. t As a demonstration of the get-together spirit, the Coos Bay Congress called for next week at North Bend is commendable. It has Portland's good will in full measure, and, what is more to the purpose, it will have Portland's active support. Publication of the serial story in which the steamship. Geo. W. Elder serves as the central figure and the Lower Columiba as a setting will be re sumed at an early date. Mr. Peterson promises to furnish copy for a happy denouement. As usual, Hood River Valley Is send ing out a call for laborers. Here Is an opportunity for California refugees of either sex. Berry-picking pays good wage and Involves not physical strength so much as suppleness of backbone. With the published testimony as a basis for observation, it would seem that Roosevelt has caught Tillman's pedro as well as Aldrich's. Unless the cards are stacked on him in some later deal, he has the game won now. Eggs are firm, says the telegraphic market report from Oakland. Mst of Oregon product that finds its nay to Portland is infirm. It is announced that Mr. and Mrs. Roosevelt will give a dinner May 24. Has the family been living on two meals a day? Milwaukee. Wis., is now a closed town. Something new to make Mil waukee famous. Pl'REST OF" ALL ENGLISH. Rarity Said to Br That Spoken la the Middle West. Cincinnati Enquirer. Fro-m the investigations of an Eng lish Vavant, Sir Jonathan Williams, the best English is spoken in Kentucky and tne Ohio Valley rather than In London or any other part of the British Isles or possessions. S Sir Jonathan has traveled through Australia, all of the different counties of England. Ireland and Scotland and through many of the states of the Union, examining the peculiarities of the different pronunciations. I have been interested in dialectical English for many years." said Sir Jona than, at Chicago.' "Your ordinary Eng lishman of the isles is, above all. dia lectical. The same is true of your New Englander. The southlands of .America have a drawl wnlch is totally mis placed: the norfhlands of your country a nasnl twang which is a joke to Eng lishmen. It is oivly on the middle ground here in America that I have found the true English, the English of Shakespeare and Dr. Johnson, unmixed with dialectical absurdities or with pe culiarities of expression. Slang as such I do Hot find in Kentucky and the neighboring regions) along the Ohio and Missouri Rivera. Nor were the crudities of your Western Americanism so apparent there.- The clipped and halting speech of Scotland comes nearer to the Kentucky English than any I have heard in my investigations. Aus tralia is overlaid "with a slang which is worse than the worst of your West. Your East is imitative of Cockneyisms, unnatural and therefore un-English. "In the island itself the best English Is 'not that of Oxfordshire or of Cam bridgeshire, but of Kent and Southern Downs. This, however, does not ap proach in purity of diction, clearness of enunciation and adhesion to class ical forms the English of your Middle West, which Is neither your North nor vour South, your East nor your West. I have found in the City of Louisville a pronunciation and a use of terms which is nearer, in my mind, to Addison and the English classicists than any thing which the counties of England, the provinces of Australia or the marches of Scotland can offer." When King Alfonso Is Married. Madrid cable dispatch. The official programme for the wed ding of King Alfonso and Princess Ena of Battenberg is as follows: May 29 Introduction of the foreign Princes to trie Princess at the Pardo Palace. In the eveningtheatricals. May 30 In the afternoon, signing of the marriage contract at the Pardo Palace in the presence of the grandees of Spain and the foreign Princes. May 31 At 11 o'clock in the morning the wedding In the Church of St. Gero nitno bv the archbishop of Toledo. June 1 At 3:30 P. M., banquet at tended only by the members of the Spanish royal family and the foreign Princes. June 2 In the afternoon the battle 'of flowers. In the evening, state per formance at the Teatro Reale. June 3 Service in the morning in the palace chapel. In the evening, state ball. Juno 4 Bull fight. June 5 Excursion to Aranjuez. In the evening, torchlight procession. June 6 Banquet to Spanish officials. Juno 7 Banquet to the diplomatic corps. June 8 Official reception, nnd in the evening ball of the municipality. Servant Girl Without Appendix. Fond du Lac letter to Milwaukee Sentinel. WANTED GTRTj FOR -GENERAL HOl'BE work; one who has had appendix removed. J. I,. Bradley, Hlfl Linden street. The above advertisement appeared in a local paper this morning. The reason for i f is that Mr. Bradley, who is a mail carrier, has been unfortunate enough -to have had two servant girls taken 111 with appendicitis, which seems to have became epidemic in Fond du Lac He is now determined to take no more chances in the way of sending girls to the hospital for operations, but wants one who has undergone an operation and is willing to work for him. In at the Killing Time. Exchange. Tt is related that Ma.ior-General Wood was prevailed upon one evening at a Washington. D. C., club to recount some experiences of the Cuban campaign. Among the members of the club who fur nished the audience for General Wood was a well-known physician. "And how do you feel. General," he asked, with a trace of sarcasm, "after you have professionally kiied a man?" "Oh." responded" Wood, carelessly, "we don't mind it any more than you do." Told by Congressman Adam Bede. Syracuse, N. Y., Herald. They reminded me of the Scandina vian girl, fresh from her home, who came into my district. She went to church, and the good minister, as was his custom after his service, stood at the door giving the hand of fellowship to the brethren and sisters. She told him her najne and where she lived. "I will call on you soon," the minis ter said. ""Oh, I got a fellow already," replied the young woman. Wonderful Kent of Etching: on lln. St. Louis Cor. Chicago Tribune. Twenty-six letters of the alphabet and nitie numerals neatly engraved on an or dinary pinhead. This apparently impos sible feat of infinitesimal etching has been accomplished by Eugene Wrenger, 21.".3 College avenue, St. Louis, an expert steel and copper-plate engraver. Every letter and figure can be seen plainly through the microscope or without a glass if one has good eyes. It has been placed on exhibition in a public museum in Phila delphia. Seen. Through a Kentucky Tunibler. Baltimore American. A Kentucky preacher had for his text last Sunday: "Straws show which .way the wind blows." It has been long thought that in Kentucky straws usu ally indicated the course of the Julep. WHEN THE RATE BILL FINALLY EMERGES 1 ' HOW VT3u rjf '' From th FittPhury tMspatch. WOMAX ISES WATER HOSE. Dreachea lavaders W ha Plaat Phone Poles Xear Her House. Kansas City Star. "There'll be no more poles in front of this house as long as the water supply continues." With these words, Mrs. O. P. Smith, 3121 Harrison street, squirted the chilly stream toward a workman for the Bell Telephone Company, and he dropped his shovel and ran away. The conflict between Mrs. Smith and j the pole planters began at $:30 o'clock this morning. A hole was dug in front of her home, in the sodded parkway, two feet from a fine shade tree, but every workman was soaked while digging, and at length they quit and went away for a while, leaving one man to watch for a load of poles and direct their unloading. During the lull in hostilities Mrs. Smith had a small boy 1111 up the hole and resod it. While he worked she kept the hose ready. The watchman interfered once and Mrs. Smith soaked him so that he was glad to escape. 'Patrolman Conbov from the WestDort "Police Station, arrived just before noon and prevented the unloading ot poles until it was shown that the Bell people had a permit Issued by the Board of Public Works. Then he could do nothing more. The Bell people want to put in three telephones at $1.50 each in houses on the west side of Harrison between Thirty first sti-eet and Linwood boulevard. The property-owners object to the poles. The workmen driven away by Mrs. Smith seemed to take their drenching good-naturedly. They ran away frequent ly, but returned laughing to work. Mrs. Smith didn't laugh. She was in deep earnest. Mrs. Smith is the wife ot a traveling salesman. She looks after the house when her husband is away. Auto Perfume Xext on the Mat. Exchange. The automobile world hails with great satisfaction the report that Mme. Hen gelmuller wife of Emperor Franz Jo seph's Ambassador to the United States, has discovered a way not only to get rid of the vile smell that accompanies gaso line motors, but to substitute therefor "a delicious and ineffable scent like unto myrrh and incense." As one of the belles dames of Prance recently said: "Think of flying along the roads in an intoxica tion of speed and perfume! And then we may vary odors. One may have a 12-horsepower machine in simple violet, a 24-horsepower machine in double violet, a 36-horsepower in amaryllls de Japon and a 40-horsepower in jardin du couvent. The highways will hereafter be as sweet as sachet bags." And now the Inventors are reported as seriously at work on motors that will play the finest quality of orchestral mu sic as they skim along. "Next year." said the fair Parislenne above quoted, "1 expect to take a Wagnerian cure at Baireuth in an automobile that will play en route a complete repertory of Offen bach." . Question ot Senatorial Privilege. The American Spectator. A distinguished United States Sen ator from the Middle West strolled into the barber shop in the Senate wing a few mornings ago for a shave. The chairs were all occupied. The statesman seeing this, started to go out, with the idea of returning a little later. But the head barber of the ton sorial parlor sought to detain the Senator. He called after him in a rather strident tone: "You're the next. Senator!" The Senator wheeled about, assuming a sad smile, placed a hand over his fast pulsating heart, as though the throbbing there pained him, and said to the head barber: "Be good enough not to remind me of that any oftener than you can help. I un derstand fully that I am tabbed, but permit me to enjoy what peace I may until the blow falls." And the occupants of the chairs chuckled under their soapy masks. Jlidd Was a Famous Chess Player. St. Louis Dispatch. Max Judd, who died suddenly yester day, had a National reputation as a chess player'. Mr. Judd was born in a little village near Krakau, Austria, on December 27, 1852. At the age of 12 he came to this country, and lived at first at Cleveland, later at St. Louis. He soon made a name as a chess player, winning the championship of Ohio in 1871, and holding the title until 1891. He played in many National and in ternational chess tournaments in this country nnd abroad, and received many second, third, fourth and fifth prizes. He played last in a National tourney during the World's Fair at St. Louis, winning the second prize after Marshall. Winston ChnrchlU's Repartee. Ottawa (Canada) Citizen. Winston Churchill, the English convert to Liberalism. Is making a reputation for sharp wit. His curt retort to a woman heckler. "Madam. I will not be hen pecked," was the best thing of the recent campaign. He is now raising a mustache. A fair lady was being taken in to dinner by the budding politician. "Mr. Churchill," she said, "I like your politics as little as I like your mustache." It should have been a crushing shot, but not so to Churchill. His reply was on the instant: "Madam, you are not likely to come"""in contact with either." Booms WeaW Chnri-h by Printer Ink. Augusta, Ga., Chronicle. Finding that interest in and attend ance at his Bible class were falling off. Rev. W. T. Rogers, of the First Cum berland Presbyterian Church, Knox ville, Tenn., inserted a page advertise ment in local newspapers. Among the results were an immediate Increase of one-third In attendance, and scores of letters of inquiry. Salvation With a Freight Tag. Atlanta Constitution. A darky preacher in North Carolina prefaced the passing of the collection plate with the shrewd remark: "Salva tion's free, brethren: salvation's free! It don't cost nothin'! But we have to pay the freight on It. We will now pass aroun' the hat an' collect the freight charges." DELAYS RELIEF MEASURES. House Decides to Await Further Xews From San Francisco. WASHINGTON, May 15. After hear ing Secretary Taft and Supervising Architect Taylor, the emergency sub vommiitee of the House committee on appropriations today decided to delay action regarding the $500,001) asked for by the President for San Francisco and the $656,000 asked for to repair the Federal buildings damaged by the re cent earthquake in California. As to the emergency fund, Mr. Taft explained that he would be able in a week or ten days to submit a detailed estimate which wnuld probably cover everything which would be needed for relief purposes. He was unable to state what that amount would be. The estimate regarding the building was a preliminary recommendation made by telegraph on a cursory exami nation of the damage done to the buildings in question. These buildings are in such shape that they are being used and the Treasury Department is requested to have detailed estimates made at once with the intention of having the amount carried in the gen eral deficiency bill, which will be taken up by the committee in two wacks or more. Mr. Taft informed the coramittee that there would continue to be a con siderable expenditure for relief pur poses for some time to come. BKEATHES SPIKIT OF HOPE Promotion Committee Tells of mas ter and' City's Recovery. SAN FRANCISCO. May 15. The Cal ifornia Promotion Committee has Is sued the following statement concern ing the earthquake and fire in San Francisco: On April 18. l:H. San Francisco experi enced an earthquake followed oy a disas trous fire of four days' duration, which swept over four square miles of densely pop ulated area. The earthquake did some dam axe to poorly-constructed butldlnffs. hut it was demonstrated beyond a doubt that the modern bullillnft ot the hicher type Is not affected by seismic disturbance. The tllsastrous effects of the fire were ap palling, the loss running into the humlredi of millions ot dollars, with Insurancf of possibly two hundred millions. All of those millions and more will seek reinvestment. Fortunately the water front was not seri ously damaged and the vast shlpplna through the finest harbor In the world was but little disturbed. Many manufacturing plants and a large section of the residence district of the city remained Intact. Within a few days after the catastrophe street-cars were running on several of the streets and on Market street as far as the ferry. This traffic was extended day by day until now it is fast approaching normal con ditions. At 3 o'clock on the afternoon of April IS a citizens' committee was organized for relief and for the regular business of the city. This provisional government by. committees worked in admirable harmony with the Mayor and Federal authorities, and at once developed an orderly and wonderfully effi cient operation. The health conditions remained wonder fully good. At no time waa an epidemic threatened. The loss of life was compara tively small, many a minor catastrophe in recent history having resulted much more disastrously in this respect. Business confidence remained unshaken after the disaster and the banks all demonstrated their solidity. At no time was a panic threat ened. Before the ashes cooled, wholesale and retail trade was resumed in original placea where the buildings remained and in tempo rary structures in cases where the buiMinvrt had been burned. The people of San Fran cisco, millionaires and wage-earners, refugees and householders, showed a spirit of fortitude and optimism probably unequaled In tho his tory of the world. San Francisco Is now In course of recon struction: the debria is rapidly being removed and the hum of industry has supplanted the roar of the flames. The abiding results ot the tire will be wider streets, more Imposing edi fices, larger parks and a complete fire-fighting system which will utilise the waters ot Hie ocean. The real estate market weathered the storm and shows great activity. Pan Francisco is the cily of opportunity. The vast fertile country' back of it promises the yield of an exceptionally good year's crop. The chance for business investment Is mag nificent; Eastern and local money will le poured In freely while the rebuilding pro gresses. The history of all euch events as that which has Just transpired proves that the ultimate result is a general Improvement in conditions and a vast Increase in community wealth. WILL INVESTIGATE QUAKE. Japanese Expert and Architects on Way to San Francisco. VICTORIA, B. C, May 15. Profes sor Omori, famous Japanese nelsmolog ical expert and inventor of tho Omori seismograph, arrived today by steamer Tango Maru, accompanied by threo Japanese architects, bound to San Fran cisco to Investigate the effects of the earthquake. Professor Omori said his observatory had recorded the earth quake, which reached Tokio, both across the Pacific and around the re verse sid-j of the world. Professor Omori was in Formosa in vestigating the two earthquakes which killed 1300 people there in March and April. Professor Omori hiis investigat ed all notable earthquakes of recent years. He said steel buildings would be the best for future structures If on good foundations and not built on made land; wooden buildings were also good. In tact the wooden buildings, if securely jointed to prevent beams breaking away, were practically earth quake proof. The three architects who accom panied him arc Messrs. Nikamnra and Sano, of Tokio, and Noguchi, of Osaki, all prominent. Other notable passengers were Surgeon-Colonel Haga, delegate from the Japanese Red Cross Society to the in ternational conference at Geneva, where he will read a paper on Japanese field surgery during the war, when he was attached to the Hfroshina division: and Dr. Aktyama, medical councillor of tho Japanese War Department. LIMIT TO SKYSCRAPIMJ. Proposed Xew Law Regarding llio Height or Buildings. RAX FRANCISCO, May 15. At a meeting ot the joint committee on building laws with the various sub committees It was definitely decided to recommend the following ordi nances: On streets 100 feet wide or over, the height of buildings facing thereon shall be unlimited. On streets i feet wide or over, the height of buildings shall be limited to 200 feet. On streets less than SO feft wide, the height of buildings is to be one and cne-half tirriVs the width of the street upon which the building faces. Have Doubled Insurance Rales. SAN FRANCISCO, May 15. The Call today says: Certain insurance companies doing busi ness in San Francisco are charging double the rates for Insurance on local business that were assessed by them before the re cent fire. Various reasons are asstgnctr for this. One is that the water pressure Is still weak: another that the fire alarm servk-e is out of order. While the double rates are announced, persons seeking in surance are told that there will be re bates later, when normal conditions are restored and the underwriters have time) to look over the field.