s
THE 3IORXIXG- OREGOXIAX, SATURDAY, MARCH 10, 1906.
Entered at the Potofflce at Portland, Or.,
a Second-Class Matter.
suBscnirnoN rates.
S3- INVARIABLY IN ADVANCE. "C3
(By Mall or -Express.)
DAILY. SCNDAT INCLUDED.
Twelve months
Six months
Three months y " i
One month Jjj
Delivered by carrier, per year -f0
Delivered by carrier, per month...... -3
3-e time, per week
Sunday, one year 2.-0
Weekly, one year (Issued Thursday)... 1.0
Sunday and Weekly, one year S.-O
HOW TO REMIT Send postofnee money
.order, express order or personal check on
your local bank. Stamps, coin or currency
are at the sender's risk.
EASTERN BUSINESS OFFICE.
The S. C. Beckwith Ppeckrt Areacy New
York, rooms 43-30. Tribune buildlnc Chi
cago, rooms 510.312 Tribune bulldlns
KErT ON SALE.
Chicago Auditorium Annex. PottotHce
News Co.. 178 Dearborn street.
Pt. Taul, Minn. N. St. Marie Commercial
Station.
Denver Hamilton & Kendrlck. B06-912
Seventeenth etreet; Pratt Book Store. 1214
MJteonth street: I. Welnsteln.
GoIdHeld, Nr. Guy Marsh.
Kansas City, Mo. Rlcksecker Clear Co..
N;ath and Walnut.
Minneapolis M. J. Kavanaunh. 30 S. Third.
Cleveland, O. James Pushaw. 307 Superior
street.
New York City L. Jones A- Co., Astor
House.
Oakland. Cnl. W. H. Johnston. Fourteenth
and Franklin street.
Orden D. L. Boyle.
Omaha Barkalow Bros.. 1812 Farnam:
Maseath Stationery Co.. 130S Farnam: 240
South 14 th.
Sacramento. CaL Sacramento News Co.,
438 K street
Salt Lake Salt Lake News Co.. 77 West
Second street South: Miss L. Levin, 24
Church street.
Lou Anrelri B. K. Amos, manacer seven
treet wagons: Berl News Co.. 326 H South
Broadway.
San Diego B. E. Amor
Santa Barbara, Cal. B. E. Amos.
Pasadena, Cal. Berl News Co.
San Francisco J. It Cooper & Co.. 749
Market street: Goldsmith Bros.. 230 Sutter
and Hotrt St. Francis News Stand; L. E.
Lee. Palace Hotel Nevfs Stand: Frank Scott,
S8 Ellis; N. Wheatley Movable News Stand,
corner Market and Kearney strcets Foster
Orear. Ferry News Stand.
Washington, D. C Ebbltt House, Pennsyl
vania avenue.
PORTLAND, SATURDAY, MARCH 10, 106.
r
IRREVOCABLE FRANCHISES.
In a very thoughtful letter Mr. Ralph
K. Duniway takes issue with The Ore
soitian upon what he understands to be
an opinion that certain franchises are
jwpetual. The sentence which he re
fers to wws an obiter dictum merely,
hns was written more to provoke
titottghl in the reader than to express a
Hxad opinion. Whether such a thing as
an irrevocable franchise exists or not
te. as Mr. Duniway says, a question to
be decided by the courts: but whether
seen a thing ought In reason and jus
tice to exist or not may be decided for
himself by every man of sane intelli
gence. A franchise obtained, by fraud
has no standing in the forum of ethics.
S much all fairminded men must con
cede. Tainted with moral corruption in
lit? origin, it is irrevocably marked for
death. Property rights acquired by In
nocent persons under such a franchise
must, of course, be respected, but the
franchise itself is ano'ther matter and
stands on a footing entirely different.
The fraudulent franchise is easily dis
posed of. How about the others?
A franchise is a partial delegation of
sovereignty by the governing power to
an individual or a corporation. "Within
the limits of his franchise the holder is
clothed with the authority of the Gov
ernment; he is a. part of the Govern
ment. He enjoys the right of eminent
domain; he has exclusive control of a
portion of the public highway. His
authority to fix the price of the neces
Karies of life cannot be distinguished
logically from authority to levy taxes,
since It is exclusive, irresistible, and
cannot be eluded. We do not admit
that a good title to other offices may
be acquired by fraud; we ought not to
admit that title to a franchise may be
so acquired. For franchise-holding in
a true and very important sense is a
public olllce. For reasons good or bad
wo have not sis yet placed it upon the
same basis a other public offices and
made it elective, but that distinction
does not alter its real nature. Suppl
ing light Is Just as much a social func
tion as thief-catching. Modern society
is as much dependent upon one as upon
the other, and tho?e who perform these
services ore equally governmental
agents, though gas magnates often
think thdmselves superior to the power
thai created them and claim to rule bv
divine right.
The notion of an irrevocable franchise
therefore involves at least two logical
absurdities. It assumes first that one
portion of our governmental machinery,
and that a very important portion, has
escaped forever from the control of the
people. Like the English crown, it has
bocome a freehold in certain divinely
favored families; like the titles of
hereditary nobility, it sets those fami
nes apart from the common herd by
their perpetual endowment of a special
privilege to absorb the earnings of
other men. An irrevocable franchise
implies, secondly, the inadmissible as
sumption that the legislative act of one
City Council or Legislature can bind
its successors for all time. Contracts
legally made may perhaps bind for
ever; but the grant of a franchise is
not a. contract, it is a permission. By it
the legislative body delegates a por
tion of its own power and such dele
gation must by its very nature be re
vocable. The Interstate Commerce Com
mission may as reasonably claim to be
independent of Congress as the gas
company of the City Council. Both en
joy their powers by tenures whose na
tures are logically identical. A legis
lative body whose own power is sur
rendered periodically to the people from
whom it emanates cannot create an
artificial being whose powers are per
petual. The common law abhorred a perpetu
ity as Nature abhors a vacuum, and
for good reason. A franchise is the
grant of a privilege whose value in
creases rapidly as the city develops.
Its price should increase at the same
rate, but this rate is wholly indetermi
nate. It may be guessed at for a few
years ahead, but not for many years.
Therefore, in Justice a franchise should
be valued anew at short intervals and
lor this purpose It should be granted
or delegated, which is much the better
word, for brief periods only. An ir
revocable franchise would amount to
an interminable annuity bestowed with
out compensation and would carry a
presumption of fraud upon Its face. It
could never be obtained honestly, be
cause its value could never be -computed;
Any 'person who lays claim to an
irrex-ocable franchise necessarily claims
property for which he has not paid.
Perpetual franchises. If they were
admitted to exist, would deprive com
munities of the benefits of scientific dis
coveries. They are by their nature hos
tile to improvement, and their owners
would never adopt a new invention un
less under compulsion. Especially is
this true where the franchise amounts
to a monopoly, as It does In the street
railway and gas business.
Few will disagree with Mr. Duniway
that the question of irrevocable fran
'chises ought to be brought into court
and definitely settled. Its importance
is fundamental. Sound reason and
sound ethics unite to condemn them,
but the law sometimes displays a dis
concerting independence of both reason
and ethics. We know what it ought to
say, but we are a long way from know
ing what it will say.
HIGH SCHOOL FRATERNITIES.
Dr. Wise, addressing the Woman's
Club yesterday, made a bold attack
upon High School fraternities. He
spoke strongly, but none too strongly,
for the evil of these societies Is great
and growing. Secrecy among young
people of High School age means mis
chief. Educationists, moralist-? and
parents unite in the opinion that the
fraternities are wholly evil. They are
a silly and vicious imitation of the
worst traits of the worst element In
American society. They combine the
spirit of Town Topics, monkey dinners
and boss politics in an unwholesome
caricature of mature depravity.
The business of the fraternities is idi
otic tittle-tattle, the cultivation of
senseless vanity and the weaving of
pernicious intrigues. Their members
cultivate the manners of blase society
when the girls ought to be tomboying
with hoops and skipping ropes and the
boys ought to be learning to wrestle.
The atmosphere which pervades frater
nities is that of the yellow-back society
novel. They are morbid and precocious.
They kill the Joy and glory of youth
and replace it with the sickly ambitions
of sophisticated age. The fraternity
hero is the boy who can sneer at female
virtue and smoke the most cigarettes
of an evening. The heroine is the girl
who can imitate most closely the style
of divorce court beauties. The thing Is
utterly vicious. It grows out of our
modern craze for unworthy social dis
tinction as poisonous fungi spring from
corpses. If unchecked it involves the
ruin of public education, for the fra
ternities defy their teachers and make
life, unbearable for their fellow-students
while they destroy the Intel
lectual and moral character of their
members.
The fraternities poison the life of the
Nation at its source. How can they
be abolished? Teachers alone cannot
do it, for these societies meet outside
of school hours. Teachers and parents
must co-oporate. Parents must realize
the depraving effects of such secret as
sociation of young people. They must
realize that fraternities are a symptom
of moral and intellectual disease and
set resolutely about the cure. The rem
edy is for parent to assume proper
control of their children, to know where
they are and what they are doing. The
folly of the 3oung is partly a reflection
of similar folly in their elders, partly
the result of parental neglect of duty.
We shall hear the last of It when fath
ers and mothers learn to govern their
families.
THE IIEST WHEAT MARKET.
The Eastern Washington farmers
who have been beguiled into shipping
their wheat to Puget Sound under the
impression that the cereal would com
mand higher prices there than at Port
land will view with Interest the present
quotations in the two markets. No. 1
club, or Walla Walla, was quoted on
Wednesday and Thursday at Tacoma
at C4 cents per bushel, and at Seattle
at 63 cents per bushel for export, with
milling price 1 cent per bushel higher.
The same grade of wheat "was quoted
at Portland at C7 cents for export, with
some actual sales made as high as 68
cents. This proved quite conclusively
that wheat was worth 4 cents per
bushel more In Portland than in Ta
coma. and 4Vi cents more than in Se
attle. This Is a little wider margin
than usually exists in Portland's favor;
in fact, there are times when the differ
ential Is temporarily wiped out entirely,
and occasionally the Tacoma price has
been higher than was bid on he same
day at Portland.
The figures, however, which are taken
from the market columns of the Ta
coma Ledger and the Seattle Post-Intelligencer,
and also from the Associ
ated Press report, amply sustain the
contention that The Oregonian, has al
ways made that there was ordinarily
no difference of consequence in prices
ut the two ports, and, when there was
a difference, it was as often in Port
land's favor as In favor of Puget Sound.
These differences in Portland's favor
have existed at numerous periods
throughout the year. Portland's flour
shippers have repeatedly been obliged
to turn down flour orders because they
could not pay the Portland price for
wheat, and sell flour as low as it was
offered by the Tacoma millers, who
were paying less for their wheat. The
explanation of the present differential
against the grower who ships his wheat
to Tacoma or Seattle is easy. Incident
ally it exposes the fallacy of the belief
that it is in the power of the joint-rate
makers to increase prices in any portion
of the wheat territory in the Pacific
was an early harvest and a
short crop through a considerable por
tion of the O. R. & N. territory in Ore
gon and Washington, especially In the
competitive districts reached by both
railroad lines. The yield in territory
tributary exclusively to Puget Sound
was' by far the largest on record, but It
came on the market so much later than
"the crop south of Snake River that, in
order to take care of early flour con
tracts, Tacoma and Seattle millers In
vaded the coiwpetitlve territory and
paid prices far in excess of the market
value of the cereal. This extravagant
buying avas not of large proportions,
but undue noise was made about It, and
resulted in such a general Impression
that Tacoma was a better wheat mar
ket than Portland that a large amount
of the cereal was diverged rrom O. R.
& N. territory to the lines of the North
ern Pacific
After the Puget Sound millers had
paid for their experience in accepting
early flout orders at too low a figure,
prices began to sag back to an export
basis, and, except at rare intervals,
there has been no difference for many
months in prices paid at Seattle, Ta
coma and Portland. That they .should
be lower now at Tacoma than at Port
land is due to the enormous stocks still
held in territory tributary to Puget
Sound, but not, tributary to Portland.
It -Is simply a. -case of supply and de-
mand. and the prices will continue to be
governed by conditions which are ever
changing. A Joint rate Qn wheat would
be an excellent thing for the millers.
When wheat was scarce and firmly held
in one section. Instead of bidding up for
it they could go to another locality
where it was plentiful and thus beat
down prices where it was scarce. This
explains why the Puget Sound millers
are so anxious for a Joint rate on wheat,
but It does not explain why the farmers
are asking for the same thing. There
Is no explanation for the attitude of the
farmers.
ON THE SCORE OF 31ERIT.
The National Educatlopal Association
recently In -session in Louisville. Ky.,
considered at length plans whereby the
salaries of teachers In the public
schools of the country could be raised
to a remuneration adequate to the dig
nity, the importance and exacting na
ture of their work. A feature of the
plan was the arrangement for the pro
motion of teachers, carrying with It in
creased pay up to the maximum, on
the score of merit As everybody
knows, there are teachers and teachers;
teachers good, bad and Indifferent;
teachers who are In the vocation be
cause of natural adaptitude and love
for the work; teachers wbo-are In it
solely for the pay that they get and to
whom the most welcome hour of the
day Is that In which they turn their
lacks on the schoolhouse. There Is a
wide, maririn for the merit system to
find play in these differences, and, if it
would find in these its opportunity, the
public schools and the cause of educa
tion would be greatly benefited by its
application to the teaching force.
But the wise men have not yet found
a ..way to secure the equitable adjust
ment of teachers' salaries on this basis.
Favoritism, prone to rule in the ap
pointment of teachers, would find abun
dant chance to Increase Its power under
any system yet devised under the name
of the merit system. It is plain, how
ever, that until some standard of effi
ciency more dependable and Just than
that which is comprehended In the abil
ity to answer a certain per cent of
catch questions at a teachers examina
tion is set up, a merit te-t as applied
to teachers' work can alone determine
their fitness to teach and fix the wage
schedule justly.
A system which in effect would weed,
out the utterly Incompetent teachers
and decimate the ranks of the fairly
competent would be a public benefac
tion. It would, moreover. In time be
come the lever by which the wages of
teachers could be and would be raised,
since teaching would then be confined
to the ranks of those who had chosen
the profession because of their love for
teaching, and who had with painstak
ing study fitted themselves for the
proper discharge of its duties. Such
teachers could command the question
of wages in their own interest. Instead
of, as now. bringing their talents to
the public mart and entering them in
competition with those who were not
born to teach, have not been educated
to teach, and are in no sense qualified
to teach, except as through ready wit or
retentive memory they have been able
to answer a certain line of questions
prepared by the State Board of Educa
tion. A PERPLEXING CASE.
AVrase most perplexing to the author
ities of Chehalls, Wash., has been that
of Tom "Brown, h boy who some months
ago shot and killed his father in an al
tercation over the latter's treatment of
some horses. The lad Is one of a mul
titude of his type who are born in bit
terness and nurtured in domestic con
vulsion. His father and mother lived in
separate houses on the ranch, and the
children had scant respect for either
parent The mother rallied to her son's
defense when he was being tried for
his life, and. partly through the dis
closures of his wretched home life and.
partly because of his youth, the Jury
failed to convict him ot murder. -He
was. however, said to be insane, and
his detention in the asylum was ordered
as provided by law in such cases. He
wiis subsequently released, and has
since been behaving In the unruly man
ner that frequently follows the acquit
tal of a criminal charge. Recently,
upon warning of what would follow
further exhibition ot lawlessness upon
his part, he disappeared, and his where
abouts are at preseiH unknown.
A case of this kind tests the patience
of society and the wits of Juries and
Jurists to the utmost. The curative or
restraining process has in such a case
been too long delayed to promise any
good results from Its application. This
boy represents a problem In criminology
that is difficult if not impossible to
solve by ordinary methods. Too old for
the curative measures of the Juvenile
Court too young for the harsher pun
ishments provided by law for responsi
ble criminals to be inflicted without cer
tainty of making him worse; a menace
to society when at large, a reproach to
humanity when in prison, he has simply
to be recognized and dealt with as one
of the misfits of creation, to be experi
mented upon without hope of more than
temporary restraint.
SMALL POTATOES.
A prominent Willamette Valley pro
duce merchant voices avigorous protest
against the practice "of using cull po
tatoes for seed. His is a timely attack
upon an unwise and ruinous practice
that has prevailed not only in Oregon,
but in nearly every other part of the
United StafcV for many years. In a
fqw localities the farmers have realized
that good seed Is a pre-requlslte to good
crops, but Itr general It is the custom
to select the small, knotty, scrubby
potatoes, which cannot be marketed or
used upon the. home table, for seed for
the next year's crop. Such a practice Is
almost beyond - understanding, but
every man who was reared on a farm
knows that it has existed.
No farmer would select his poorest
cows or marcs for breeding purposes.
Every farmer screens his wheat and
uses only the best for-seed. The best
ears of corn are picked out for planting
purposes and are carefully kept
the Winter. The best eggs from the
best- hens are selected for setting, and
In every department of agriculture, or
livestock husbandry the best of the
species are used for reproduction. Why,
then, should an exception be made in
the case of the potato, which is one of
the most valuable of our farm-products
and which forms such an important
part of the world's food supply?
Such a policy should be abandoned
and the opposite course pursued. Be
fore any man plants potatoes he should
test the seed by using some of it upon
his own table, in order to ascertain
whether the potatoes arc of good qual
ity. Then he should select only the
fair-sized, smooth, clean potatoes of
uniform shape., for seed. With good
seed planted iit-prdper soil and given'
fair cultivation, the Willamette Vallcy
and other parts of Oregon should raise
potatoes that will bring the top prices
In any market. Now Is the time to Im
press this upon the farmers of Oregon,
for soon they will be planting their po
tato fields for the coming crop. The
Agricultural College, the newspapers,
the Grange and the farmers' institutes
should take up the subject and conduct
a campaign of education that will put
a stop to a practice that has caused de
terioration in the quality of potatoes
produced.
While the prisoners at work on the
roekplle.very probably do as little real
work as possible and are in many vex
atious ways trying to. the patience of
their overseers, there is no excuse for
treating them In a brutal manner be
cause of these delinquencies. They are
human beirtgs, more or less debased,
who arc doing penance for violation
of the law. Beating and otherwise mal
treating them should not be tolerated.
Such treatment is no part of the sen
tence imposed upon them, and its tend
ency Is to foster crime by Inciting a
desire to revenge themselves upon those
who abuse the temporary power over
them that conditions furnish. When a
priiner doing penance becomes ob
streperous, unruly and abusive, he
must, of course, be dealt with sternly
and, if necessary, severely. But loiter
ing at work and falling to "hurry up"
when called upon to do so. while vexa
tious to the "boss," can scarcely justify
him In striking a man In the face, tying
him to a post and beating him with his
fists and pouring upon him a volley of
profane and indecent language. If J.
F. Johnson, prison labor boss at the
city rockplle. has done these things, he
is in no sense fit for the position he
holds, and should lose his Job as soon as
the alleged facts against him are
proven.
A local magazine prints an illustrated
article on the Valencia wreck and mod
estly explains In the heading that it is
"the. first complete account published
of the recent disaster off the west coast
of Vancouver Island." Wherever the
writer used the stories printed In the
dally newspapers he compiled a fairly
stralght story of the wreck, but where
he attempted to "complete" It with
nothing but his Imagination, the at
tempt was a dismal failure. Among
the queer statements In this "first com
plete account" is one which says that
"great planks were then being w6hed
off the hull and sides of the Valencia."
As the "hull and side's" of the Valen
cia were made from steel plates. It is
not quite clear to the average reader
where thse great planks came from.
Similar grotesque statements appear
throughout the article, proving quite
conclusively that It Is Always neces
sary for a writer to know a little some
thing about his subject especially If
he Intends to label It the "first com
plete account published."
The Rev. Madison Peters, of New
York dropped into mathematics hi the
course of a lecture the other night.
Twenty-four young ladles of wealth
and fashion, presumably members of
his church, hiving consumed thlrtylx
bottles of champagne at a party. the
good doctor asked himself "How many
bottles was that apiece?" This would
be a fine example In mental arithmetic
for the boys and girls of the sixth grade
in our public schools to tackle. When
they have the answer, let them try this
one: If fifteen of the same girls smoked
seven dozen cigarettes, how many was
that per girl? Concrete problems like
these not only discipline the minds of
young girls, but what Is more Im
portant, prepare them for the duties
and responsibilities of fashionable life.
If a girl Is to be called upon as part of
her duty to society to drink a bottle
and a half of champagne and smoke
five and three-fifths cigarettes of an
evening, she ought to know It betimes
and begin early to practice.
No one has f illed to observe the con
stant and faithful efforts of the organ
of the plutocrats and franchise-mongers
of Portland to twist the testimony de
livered against the gas company into
excuse or defense of the gas company
at every possible point This Is not
mentioned as a surprising fact; rather
it would be surprising had It been oth
erwise, for that Journal was started and
Is maintained for the purpose of pro
moting and protecting the jobs of these
people In the City of Portland and
throughout Oregon. The people at large
now well understand how it is that a
few persons In Portland through oper
ations like those carried through under
these franchises, for which the city has
not received a dollar in return, have
become so enormously and insolently
rich. They have been engrossers of
property produced by the efforts of the
whole public, and of course they must
have one. organ for further promotion
and defense
There is to be a sequdKio the Mizncr
romance. Sequels never rival the orig-,
inal stories in excitement It would not
be in the least surprising if Mrs. Mlzner
and her husband were now to settle
down as mere commonplace married
people without any more adventures
to make them Interesting.
Wc learn from Salem that, if the anti
pass bill becomes a law. state officers
must pay their fares and the taxpayer
must foot the bill. The state can very
easily avoid trouble and expense by
electing all the candidates from Salem.
Many Portlandcrs view with indiffer
ence the signs of Spring in budding
trees and shrubs that arc putting forth
leaves. But it will be another matter
when the official schedule of the Pacific
Coast-League Is published.
The Rev. R. P. Johnston, Rockefel
ler's New York pastor, thinks It Is fool
ish to Imitate Jesus. Mr. Rockefeller
thinks so, too. How sweet It Is to be
hold such unanimity among Christians.
Residents of Vancouver. Wash.,
would be quite willing to sec the new
Hill railroad stay out of Portland, not
even cross the Willamette River Into
this city by a bascule draw.
A Chicago lawyer has married an
heiress for whom he won a 52,000,000
will contest She can never justly ac
cuse him of having married her for her
money.
The stenographic report of the testi
mony of Mr. Scott at the gas investiga
tion, announced for publication this
morning, will appear tomorrow.
Well, there arc 800 Moros completely
paclltd. -
THE SILVER LINING.
Br A. H. Ballard. v j
Instructions to Her 31ald.
Put my stocking on the fender
Throw my shirt-waist on the floor. j
Lace my corsets so I'm slender.
Mind, you mustn't lock the door.
For I'm going to get up early In the
morning.
I
Put the rouge where I can find it.
Just lay out clean underwear.
Sleep, yourself and I'll not mind it.
This Is wholly my affair;
Sure, I'm going to get up early In the
morning.
Charlie's coming for' his honey.
He'll arrive at half-past seven.
He is bringing lots of money.
And I'm in the seventh heaven;
You bet I'll get up early in the morning.
Have my shoes cleaned bright and neat.
Put the clock upon the stand.
Rafce the window, shunt the heat.
That's the hat oh, I'll look grand.
For I'm going to get up early in the
morning.
I think I'll wear that accordion skirt.
My locket with his picture in it
His present when ho called- me flirt.
Oh, I can hardly wait a minute;
For I'm going to get up early In the
morning.
Pull up the covers, dear, good girl.
Tuck me in. and I'll sleep tight:
My hair will never stay In curl:
I'll dream ot him; and. now. goodnight.
For I'm going toget up early In
the morning. (Snores.)
a
Catch your car. but don't think you can
ride forevor for 3 cents.
Do you notice how many people are
making large sums In the real estate
business In this town? The market is
vulgarly healthy. And it Is likely to con
tinue so.
Do You Feci It?
How we suffer no one knows:
Summer heat: thick underclothes.
Definitions.
(Tips on the Race of Life.)
PLUTOCRAT From Pluto (pertaining
to Hades), and Crassus (thick or ofituse):
that Is. a pig-headed individual from the
Infernal regions.
RICH MAN One who cannot enter the
kingdom of heaven.
GAS Any material that makes trouble.
It Is very clastic and has an clastic price;
eun be sold for anything the maker can
get for It: but it Is likely to explode both
ways, making trouble for the users, as
well as the makers of it It has a bad
record in many cities, and is making an
entirely new and flamboyant one in the
city of Portland. It Is usually dealt in
and manufactured by plutocrats, the sig
nificance of whom Is above described.
FOOLHARDY Anyone who displays
energy. A brave soldier is foolhardy.
Tom Lawson Is foolhardy. William R.
Hearst is foolhardy. U. S. Grant was
foolhardy. Any daring, original person
of electric temperament and brilliant im
agination Is always foolhardy. That's
the reason why he. or she. does things
and makes the world progress.
FASHIONABLE When the present
Queen of England had a boll on her neck
and covered It up with a necklace, neck
laces were Immediately worn by all
toadying Imlfators of royalty. Necklaces,
therefore, became what Is called fash
ionable. Fashions ate set usually in this
manner: A rich man has a withered arm
and hokls hts opera hat askew as ho
posees Into the theater. Immediately it
is fashionable to hold your hat on the bias
with your wrist crimpled up in a bow
knot. These are examples of the funda
mental origin of fashionable matters.
American statistics on public bene
factions of the Carnegie kind for the
last five yoars show:
1001 J123.SSS.0O0,llMl $ 4tf.208.000
ltt 77.S97.OOOI 1005 104.3S6.0C0
1P0Z 7t5.C3J.00OI
Of the sum bestowed last year $63.
006.000 was by the living and the re
mainder bequests. The record Is still
held by the year 1901. when four years
of McKinlcy prosperity had been real
ized on by our public-spirited men and
women, and when Mr. Carnegie was
setting a terrific pace for the philan
thropists. The cause of the tremendous jump
last year, when the gifts exceeded by
$17,000,000 those of live and dead men
put together. Is of psychological in
terest The investigators waked up a
terrific public feeling against money
gotten illegally or immorally, and the
plethoric old rascals began to give up
with a sizzling-rush.
A, Directory for the Unsaved.
Scnd me a list of unsaved men and
women of Louisville. Ky." This raes
page was lately received by Postmas
ter T H. Raker from a nun at Rut-
land. Vt. who said he had heard of
the wlckednosa In Louisville and de
sired to do missionary work there.
Postmaster Baker forwarded a city di
rectory with a. letter saying that the
directory contained 250.000 names, and
he was certain that this plan would
afford cvorybody In Louisville a square
deal.
Early Training.
IJpplncott's.
First Mai Teacher "That newly ap
pointed School Commissioner say3 he
thinks every school should have a woman
principal." ,
Second Male Teacher "I know It. He
snys ho was brought up to vote for 'prin
ciples not men.' "
The Real Talk.
CMeago Tribune,
fit I announced that the Japanese, who
have ffetrrvn their admiration for American
methods In many way, will now adopt our
language atao.)
We gottcm coroln' rizhtalong.
No Blatter where ut Is.
Tou bt theysefs ut jroodanstronc:
They KOtta atlck to" biz.
They gotta have the dope to hand
The came as yoursasmine
The fcinJ 'at folks canunneratand;
They gottagltlnllne.
No cratalkln'! It's the fluff!
5me langrrldjces may he
Framedup tub. rattle plain enough.
Ht not fer youanme.
They gottahave our teUabgrapb.
' Our can good an machines.
An talk that cuts the time In half,
Bu! tolls Just TTOttltmeans.
Well, wotchago'n'todo? These days '
Tou gotta watchyer curves.
UrreUe nme feller foxyways
'LI clttonto yer nerves.
Thate Japs la Johnnyonthespot:
An theye'n use the'r eye
An' learn the game; I tellyutvot.
Those- Japs Is gltticwtse!
Tou betchu! 'Sposen you er me
Fas got rome opecb tuh ahd
Wy 'Kcnnytezxlt. can't yuh see.
Tub know jiut wotty said?
Those Japs Is next tuh wottlsrlght.
They gottlt doped out flae:
They gotta, talk an well as fight
; They sottagltlnllBc: - .
CHECKING FAST GAS METERS
Chicago Record-Herald. March
Biennial municipal Inspection of every
gas meter In use in Chicago and official
examination of every new meter installed
In future are features of an ordinance that
will accompany a message from Mayor
Dunne to be read before the City Council
this evening. The results of recent city
Inspections of meters represented by con
sumers as too fast are cited by the Mayor
as emphasizing the necessity for a more
comprehensive inspection ordinance than
the one now in effect
Other important features in Mayor
Dunne's ordinance are a proposal for the
reduction of the inspection fee from $2.50.
the present figure, and the requirement
that all meters removed for repairs shall
be Inspected and marked with the city's
certificate of inspection before being re
turned. Where a meter is found to be too
fast it shall be presumed to have been de
fective for six months preceding the In
spection, and a rebate allowed the con
sumer for that period, based on the per
centage of error found.
Under the present ordinance a consumer
may procure a city inspection of his gas
meter by depositing the fee of 52.30. and.
if It is found too fast, the fee is returned
and the cost charged against the gas
company. If the meter be correct, the de
posit is retained by the city. The present
ordinance is so indefinite with reference
to rebates and in other features as to be
altogether unsatisfactory, in the opinion
of Mayor Dunne, even though the neces-'
slty for regular Inspections, regardless of
the requests of consumers, had not be
come so Imperative.
"The city's gas Inspector. Mr. Dederlch.
has informed me that there were 70 me
ters inspected last month." said Mayor
Dunne yesterday, "and that 45 per cent of
that number were found to be registering
too fast. This, and the defects of the
present ordinance, have convinced me that
the necessity for a new meter inspection
ordinance Is Imperative. It is about time
that the people of 'Chicago should have
protection, and the proposed ordinance
has been framed for the purpose of afford
ing It. My Information is that the meters
found defective registered on the average
5 per cent too fast
"The present fee for Inspection is $2.50.
This is as much as the average gas bill of
the small householder, and accordingly
there is little inducement fpr any one to
ask for an inspection. However, there
was a great Increase this last February
In the number of inspections asked over
February of last year, when only three
meters were, submitted 'for examination.
I attribute this to the fact that the public
is better informed about the conditions, on
account of the recent agitation on the
question of. the proper price to be charged
for gas. The biennial inspection of all
meters will require a great deal of work,
of course, but the expense will have to be
borne by the gas companies."
The Fellowship of Dogs.
R. H. Bell, in the Culturist
I have seen a few wretches In my day:
but I never saw one so utterly lost to
decency that he could not be flattered
by the friendly attentions of a strange
dog-
There Is some hope'for the man who Is
capable of feeling ashamed In the pres
ence of an honorable dog. That man has
avenues open to him for advancement
His soul Is still fit -for expansion. His
brain Is something more than a dried nut.
His heart has not turned entirely Into a
thing of rubber and valvs. When a
strange dog greets him. he thinks better
of himself unconsciously he reasons:
"Villain that I am. I am not so bad
after all as I might be. You can't fool
a dog; and a dog is no hypocrite; there
fore, I have good In me which he recog
nizes." The fellow la a little surprised at
himself and not a little flattered. If a
noble dot; show him marked favor he
becomes "stuck up" almost Immediately.
Jf several dogs should display great pref
erence and affection for his person, he
would soon become unendurable to so
ciety quite too vain for association
with men. Contrariwise, should dogs
bark at him. generally, or. perchance,
should one bite him, he would not feel
himself good enough to associate with
snakes, but would forthwith get him
self locked up as a victim of hysterical
rabies; and if he had any pathetic kin
folk at large they would at once in
sist upon having the dog put to death.
For my own part. I have learned a
great deal from dogs. If I am nat
ural, they set me the example in early
cftlldhoori. If I am faithful to a friend
through his disgraceiand disaster. I
cannot deny that a dog revealed this
nobility of character to me for the
first time in my life. If I have grati
tude, I saw it first in a dog. If I have
enterprise, he did not neglect my early
lessons. If I have Initiative, so had
my first dog-friend: if I am affection
ate, so was he. If I am patient In ad
versity and without arrogance in af
fluence, I could not have acquired this
poise of mind better from men than
from dogs. If I am watchful over
weakness intrusted to my care; if I am
forgetful of self in guarding my be
loved, if I have the courage of my con
victions. If I have any heroic Instincts.
I could have had no better teacher
than a dog. Indeed, the love of dogs
their association and example has
mica my lire with joy.
Australian Babies at the Polls.
New York Tribune.
When the various provinces of Aus
tralia wer federate,! Into nno rnm
monwealth. and the federal franchise
was given to women, the newspapors
were greatly concerned as to what
wouiu oecome of the baoies while the!
mothers were out voting.
'Thev never thoueht nf how thi ha
bies were getting on on the 3S4 other
days of th( vear" said MIkk Alio
Henry, of Australia, to the New York
hquai sunrage Association, at the Ho
tel Astor. -but their possible fate on
mat one day out of 36u seemed to give
them groat concern.
"But the matter settled Itself very
simply. We found, on the first day
when we enjoyed the federal fran
chise, that there were nlentv nf .-nm".
en rjollticians readv to tm.- -ct-ltVi
babies while their mothers went out
and voted, xney were organized and
detailed for that very purpose. But
many of the mothers did not think it
necessary to avail themselves nf nih
services, for there was no law against
taxing tne Dames to the polls. I my
self saw ncrambulatora rnlm- iinnn
the streets by the dozen on election
dav. and some wnmn atH-iiiv mfirirmt
their ballots with their babies crowing
and gurgling In their arms."
A Texan's Idea of pinner.
World's Work.
The Texas cattlemen know how to live.
You may har In San Angelo of one who
came to New York and dined'with a well
known corporation lawyer, but. as he
afterward confessed, did not know exact
ly how to tell his hostess that he liked
the dinner.
"I thought and thought" he said, "but
as last T got It 'Madame. I said to her.
'that was sure a fine dinner. Tt was just
like eating a whole meenu page out of
the Ladies Home Journal "
The Winter Cupid.
New Orleans Times-Democrat
T said to Cupid: "Winter time
Tour business slackens up a bit,'
Does It not. Master Cupid?" He.
AH smiling, answered: "Not a xwhlt!
"My- arrows I do not employ
So-much as In the Summer, but
When winds are cold and people, too.
And every door and window's shut
"I tell you many a youngster who.
Had never dreamed him of a bf lde .
Begins to think how nice and warm.'
A coxy cottage" Is; inside." '
SOME THINGS
IN THE OREGONIAN
TOMORROW
1 First and best, the most compre
hensive telegraphic news service by
the Associated Press and spfeciat
correspondents of any Pacific Coast
newspaper; then the customaay de
partments, and the best features,
that can be bought.
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT
Commencing: Sunday. March 1,
Ceorjre Ade. America's most popular
humorist, will write for The Sunday
Oregtmlaa a series of IS letters from
urope. They promise to make
new reputation for this already fa
mous writer.
ROOSEVELTS "YOUNG MAN"
AT ALBANY
Dexter Marshall contributes a very
readable article on James W. Wads
worth, Jr.. Speaker of the New
York Assembly, who will have
much to do with shaping Insurance
legislation the next few weeks. He
has so far "made good." A Yale
man. practical farmer, sportsman,
soldier, and shrewd politician he
may become a national figure.
MOST PROMINENT COUPLE
IN THE WORLD
King Edward and Queen Alex
andra were married 43 years ago
today. Mr Warwick James Price
writes of their potent personality.
Not the least Interesting portion of
his letter Is a quotation giving their
owh opinion of their character.
CLUB TO PROMOTE
AERIAL NAVIGATION
Plana and purposes of America's
Aero Club formed for the object
of securing to the United States the
honor of turning out the first prac
tical airship: illustrated with pic
tures of the latest developments
In ships that navigate the air.
SIMPLY FOR MENTAL
AMUSEMENT
One page of matter in lighter vein
including the first of a series of
John Henry stories in slang by
Hugh McHugh (George V. Hobart).
These stories will run for several
weeks. They are rich in what
British purists condemn, but good
slang appeals alike to all classes
of Americans.
Charles Battell Loomis in his "I've
Been Thinking" series not only en
tertains well, but injects good na
tured philosophy when he satirizes
our foibles. He is the sort of man
from whom we enjoy lay sermons.
BREEDING AN ANIMAL
TO SUPPLANT THE MULE
Uncle Sam's Bureau of Animal In
dustry Is now engaged In experi
ments at cross breeding between
the striped zebra and the horse. A
Washington correspondent tells
what has been accomplished and
what is expected. It will be news
to most readers to learn that this
new cross called "Zebroid." has
been broken to harness. Science
hopes in this "hybrid to produce an
animal that will, resist disease.
RECOLLECTIONS OF
GEORGE H. WILLIAMS
Continuing the topic of Andrew
Johnson's Impeachment. Judge Wil
liams quotes from speeches that
show the wide difference between
the mental caliber of the United
States Senate 40 years ago and its
intellect today.
HOW MEN AND MACHINERY
MAKE BUTTONS
Not many of the million women
who sew buttons to garments have
the least Idea of their manufacture.
Mr. McClure in his series ot articles
on how the common things in do
mestic use arc made tells all about
these utilities. Pearl buttons make
an Interesting topic
TREATING EGYPT FOR
FINANCIAL CRAMPS
Frederic J. Hoskln writing from
Cairo details the political and finan
cial complications that arose in
Egypt over the Suez Canal and
tlls o England's course to
straighten them out.
THE ROOSEVELT BEARS
AT NIAGARA FALLS
Tomorrow, the many thousands of
children iii Oregon, Washington and
Idaho, who are following Teddy B
and Teddy G in their travels, wilt
learn how they spent a short sea
son at this American wonder. They
took their departure thence for
Boston.
RE-ALIGNMENT IN PARTIES
PREDICTED BY STEFFENS
Are the political parties of the day
facing a re-alignment? asks Lin
coln Steffens. He will answer the
question In his Washington corre
spondence to Tlfe Oregonian tomor
row. This expert Investigator has
already thrown new light on -the
political situation In Washington,
and has Illuminated much that was
already known to careful observers
of national tendencies with his
caustic satire. The reform wave
that Is sweeping over the country
has not missed Wellington, and
the men who arc lining up in the
reform column and those who are
the chiefs in the opposing ranks
will be pointed out by Mr. Steffens
tomorrow.
WHAT THE OREGONIAN'S GUESTS
WILL SEE THIS SUMMER
Twenty-four young women will be
taken on a memorable trip this
Summer as guests of The Ore
gonian. The trip will not only
Includc a complete tour ot Yellow
stone Park, but delightful side
trips will also be made to Boise
and Salt Lake City. Tomorrow
two full pages will be devoted to
the details of the contest and the
standing of the contestants.
MUSIC, SOCIETY AND
DRAMATIC REVIEWS
Society In Lent will be the theme
of the social department of The
Sunday Oregonian. Small social
gatherings, events that are loom
ing up on the social horizon, wed
dings and items of a personal na
ture will mako up the grist of this
department. Reviews of the week's
theatrical attractions, announce
ments of coming attractions, small
talk of the stage will be found on
the dramatic page. Musical events
of the past week, announcements
of approaching concerts, and gos
sip ot music and musicians will be
covered in the music department.
REAL ESTATE AND
BUILDING REVIEW
The Sunday Oregonian Is devoting
a page to the review of the week
In real estate and building circles.
Real C3tate Is moving vwlth such
rapidity, the coming of transcon
tinental and suburban railways
bring with them so many invest
ors that the real estate map of
Portland Is changing daily.
Buildings are rising rapidly so that
1006 promises to be one ot the
record years in number and value.
Illustrations of new buildings and
residences are features of this de
partment TWO PAGES OF
SPORTING NEWS
Herbert W. 'Kerrigan will continue
to write for the sporting pages of
The Sunday Oregonian. He will
leave soon for New York to join
the Athens team, and during his
trip abroad will write a series of
articles which will cover not only
the Olympic games, but also tho
athletics of foreign countries. All
the news of the world In sports
J .pages.