Morning Oregonian. (Portland, Or.) 1861-1937, December 28, 1905, Page 8, Image 8

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    TOS MOBJTOfG OMqOT4ir. THTJtSDAY, DECEMBER. X8, 1905.
Siere at te Pst&race At -S erj.laa. Or,
as seeesa-clas matter.
SUBSCRIPTION KATBS.
INVARIABLT IN ADVANCR.
(By Kail er Excreta. )
Bally and Sunday, per year
BaJly tni Sunday, six months. ........ 5.
Da41y and Sunday, three months...--.- 55
Elly and Sunday, per month -
Dally without Sunday, per year
Dally without Sunday, elx month 3.o
Dally without Sunday, three month... J-
Sfcrfly -without Sunday, per month -' -e
MtmSay. per year .
&Maday, six month.
ttosday, three months -M
ET CARRIER.
Dally witheut Sunday, per week . "
Daily, per.' week. Sunday Included....-- J
THE WEEKLY OREGONIAN.
t (Issued Every Thursday.)
Weekly, per year... -f$
"Weekly, six months.. ...... -I
Weekly, three menths - -- -B
HOW TO REMIT Send pestofflce mepey
erfler, express order er personal check on
yer local bank. Stamps; coin or currency
are at the sender's risk. .
EASTERN BUSINESS OFFICE.
The g. C. Beckwltix Special Areaay Kew
York, rooms 43-56, Tribune building. CM"
aago, rooms S10-S12 Tribune building.
KEPT ON SAXE.
Chicago Auditorium Annex, PostoIfiM
News Co., 178 Dearborn street.
Denver Hamilton & KsnCrlck. 0-912
Seventeenth street; Pratt Book Store. 121
Fifteenth street.
GoWfield, Ner. Guy Marsh;
Kansas City, Mo. Klcksecker Cigar Co.,
Ninth and Walnut.
Lo Angele B. E. Ames, manager seven
street wagons. , ,
Minneapolis M. J. Ivavanauch. SO S. Third.
Cleveland, O. James Pushaw, 307 Superior
street.
New York City I Jones & Co., Aster
House.
Oakland, Cal. W. H. Johnston, .fourteenth
and Franklin street. -
Ocden Goddard & Harrop; D. L. Boyle.
Omaka Barkalow Bros., 1612 Farnana:
Magcath Stationery Co..- 1S0S Far cam; 246
South 14 th.
Sacraiseate, Cal. Sacramento News Co..
430 K street. ' .
Salt Lake Bait Lake News Co.. 77 West
Second street South: Levin, Miss Xt, 21
Church street.
San Pranclfcco J. K. Cooper & Co.. 748
Market etreet; Goldsmith Bros.. 236 Batter
and Hotel St. Francis News Stand: L. E.
Lee. Palace Hotel New Stand: F. W. Pitts.
Market: Frank Scott, SO Ellis: N.
Wheatley Movable News Stand, corner Mar
ket and Kearney streets; Foster & Orear.
Ferry News Stand.
Washington, d. O Ebbltt Houee. Pennsyl
vania avenue.
PORTLAND, THURSDAY, DEC. 28, JM5.
EXCURSIVE POLITICS.
How long political animosities do lin
ger In some minds is a wonder to be
hold. No good ever comes of then.
"What has been done Is irrevocable, and
all -parties to political controversies
ought to set their faces -toward the
future, "forgetting the things that are
(behind." Just now we are not thinking
of personal controversies over political
matters, which are most unprofitable
of all; but of the great public and pollt
icalcontroversles over mighty questions
Involved In the settlements after the
Civil War, which a writer at Chehalis
brought forward yesterday in an ex
tremely bitter letter directed against
George H. Williams, Senator from Ore
gon during the reconstruction period
and later Attorney-General of the
United States.
Judge Williams was an eminent
member of the Senate, and supported
the reconstruction measures, Including
negro suffrage. That the -negro suf
frage measure was too sweeping Js now
generally admitted, though not by all.
There are large numbers of American
citizens iwho do not yet approve the
measures employed by many of the
Southern States for disfranchisement
of the negro; and If It be said that
Judge Williams stood for enfranchise
ment of the negro, so did his -whole
party, including President Grant, -who
was elected in 186S on the issues of re--constructlon
and directly in opposition
to the so-called policy of President
Johnson. But, as Judge Williams has
pointed out, negro suffrage, on so wide
a plan, would not have been adopted
but for the errors of the Southern peo
ple themselves, who, after the war.
proceeded to adopt legislation opposed
in many ways to the rights of the ne
groes as freemen. Moreover, the pas
sions of the great war were still hot;
and, looking back upon the lime, there
can be no wonder that there was un
reasonableness on one side and drastic
legislation on the other. A blunder far
greater than negro suffrage was seces
sion and the endeavor to found a na
tion based on slavery. But the contro
. Tcrsy why not let history take care
of It? The articles by Judge Williams
have -been entirely temperate in state
ment, and the reason for publishing
thein Is that they have a reminiscent
and historical value.
After all, this rabid assailant of Judge
Williams can And nothing against him
but a perfectly slllyJmputation upon his
honesty for having used a Government
carriage to move about in while he was
Attorney-General. Such use has been
general time out of mind, both at the
WhlteHouse and in all the departments.
Public carriages are kept not only for
the heads of departments, but "for the
heads of many of the bureaus. A ycar or
two ago the House passed a resolution
calling on the several departments for
an enumeration of the public carriages
kept by each. It made a long list, but
the House seemed satisfied, for the in
quiry went no further. The carriages
are still in use.t A bit of demagogy
wheal Judge Williams was Attorney
General, and his nomination for the of
fice of Chief 'Justice was pending al
leging that instead of going afoot about
Washington, or riding in street-cars, a
carriage was kept by his department. In
which he and his wife had actually been
seen onthe public streets, while in Ore
gon, before he got so high and mighty
he had . often been met flounder
ing through the mud on the back
of a mule, with his head run through a
slit In a blanket to shunt the rain off
this bit of demagog', in the way of &
joke, got wide attention and created
smiles and laughter all over the coun
try. But the public carriages of all the
departments were kept as busy as ever.
Here, perhaps, is as good an oppor
tunity as any to say another word
about the fiction that pictures Jeffer
son, as a solitary horseman riding on
his own cob unattended to the Capitol,
hitching his steed to a rough picket
fence, and, after taking the oath of of
fice, remounting and riding off unat
tended, as he came. This picture of
"Jeffersonlan simplicity" Is often repro
duced, to show by the contrast with
our present passion for glitter and
parade, how far we hae degenerated.
But It Is pure fiction. At his first in
auguration, as the records of the time
show us, Jefferson was escorted from
Conrad's feo&rdfog-house, which still
stands on New .Jersey avenue, to the"
steps of the Capitol by a battalion of
regular soldiers and a battery from Al
exandria. He walked between Samuel
Xxter, of M&se&chtt&etts, Secretary of
the .Treasury, d Benjamin ateAdart.
Secretary e-T the Navy the only mem
bers of President Adams' CaMnet who
Had the decency to remain in Wash
ington. At hie second Inaugurates
Jefferson rode in a. fine Imported French
coach drawn by four magnificent horses
his coachmen and footmen dressed In
livery similar to that used fcy the royal
families la England and France. Jef
ferson was altogether aristocratic in
his tastes, and luxurious in his habits.
He gave sumptuous dinners and kept
costly wines In abundance, of which he
himself often drank quite enough.
But Jefferson had an adroit appeal to
the people of the United States, in the
conditions of National development
then existing. He stood for state sov
ereignty, for state and" iocal authority
as against all central authority; lie
knew nothing of the principles neces
sary for support of a National Govern
ment, and was passionate In his appeals
to the .people to "preserve their local
liberties';" he professed to believe that
the Government, under Washington and
Adam, was fast galloping into a mon
archy; he bad no conception whatever
of the principles necessary for mainte
nance of" a permanent National Gov
ernment with authority sufficient to
support Itself against the claims of
state sovereignty; Ire never foresaw the
Industrial growth of the country or the
rise of its cities, and praised rural life
as the condition to be perpetuated.
Cities, he said, were ulcers on the body
politic- The keynote of his political ac
tivity was flattery of the rural popula
tion; yet his own tastes and practices
were those of a Sybarite. He did the
country much good, for he was an ex
pansionist; and by contradiction much
harm, because he proclaimed principles
upon which no great country could hold
together- He arrested the consolidation
of the Union, attempted by the Consti
tution; his doctrines were the dragon's
teeth sow n In the field of our political
and National life, which, fifty years
later, sprang up In our Southern States
as armed men. Jefferson did great
good and great harm. It Is Impossible
even yet to say whether the good pre
ponderates, or the evil. And' perhaps It
will always be matter of opinion.
WHEAT AND HOP FIGURES.
An alleged newspaper of Portland
prints the following amazing state
ment: Oregon's hop crop will reach about 115,003
pounds. Instead of 60.000. as was estimated
by The Oregonian statisticians. The wheat
output of Washington, Idaho and Oregon Is
placed at 50.240.827 by the Government fig
ure. The Journal's fwtlmate made on July
7 was 66.000.000, while The Oregonian',
made a little later, was 60,000.000. These
facts are worth noting, possibly 'remember
ing. Oregon's hop crop for 1905 will greatly
exceed 115,000 pounds. It will probably
be .between 105,000 and 115,000 bales,
which at an average of 200 pounds
would aggregate from 21,000,000 to 23,
000,000 pounds. No one yet knows the
exact figures. But the purpose of the
above paragraph was not to give the
facts about the hop crop, or .anything
else. It was merely to utter a mean
and vicious falsehood about The Orego
nlan, and In the process facts obvious
to the roost casual observation were
badly jumbled.
The Oregonian undertakes to make a.
formal annual estimate of the wheat
crop of Oregon, Washington and Idaho.
The estimate for 1905 was printed on
September 4, and the total was placed
at 50,000,000 bushels. The Government
figures are higher too high, as The
Oregonian contends they always are
and as it has often demonstrated. On
October 1 The Oregonian printed Its es
timate of the Oregon hop crop, placing
the total at 95,005 bales. It has at no
time estimated the Northwest wheat
crop at 60,000,000 pounds, bushels, or
centals the above paragraph gives no
intimation as to what standard of
measure Is to be taken nor has it esti
mated the Oregon hop crop at 60,000
pounds, or bales. These facts are cer
tainly worth noting, possibly remem
bering. AN UNJUST HANDICAP.
A Washington special explains the
discrimination against Portland In the
matter of lumber contracts as being
due to the unjust, unreasonable and
unbusinesslike law compelling shipment
of Government supplies In American
vessels. The probable effect of this law
was pointed out before its passage, and,
while It went through Congress under
the guise of patriotism, Quartermaster
General Humphreys, as well as a num
ber of other Government officials, easily
recognized the sinister Influences be
hind it and protested against It. Port
land, which has built up an enormous
export business by using the cheapest,
and not the highest-priced, ocean trans
portation, was, of course, desirous of
enjoying the same privilege in selling
to the Government that it had In selling
to persons, and pointed 'out the loss
that would follow awarding the carry
ing trade in Government supplies to a
monopolj'. New Tork and other Atlan
tic ports made similar protests, but
they were unavailing, and the law went
Into effect.
The law has been respected on the
Pacific Coast, but Atlantic Coast ship
pers having freight for the Philippines
have from the first regarded' it as a
dead letter. Government freight has
been steadily going forward from At
lantic ports for the Philippines on all
kinds of foreign vessels, and, when the
attention of Government officials at
New York was called to violation of
the law, they were prompt to explain
that there were no American vessels
available except at such exorbitant
rates that loss to the Government
would be too heavy If the law were
complied with. Action of the business
like Atlantic Coast portion of the
Quartermaster's Department shows
quite plainly that the law Is so absurd
ly unjust that it can be Ignored with
out causing .trouble.
An attempt was made by the rich
shipowners to apply ihls iniquitous law
to goods destined for the Government
work at Panama, but the President
himself was quite emphatic in his ex
pression regarding the hold-up game,
and lumber from Puget Sound and sup
plies from other ports have been "going
to Panama, on the vessels which car
ried them at the lowest rate, regardless
of the flag they flew. But In the case
now under consideration, it was not
even necessary that the law should be
violated in order "to give Portland an
opportunity to bid on the lumber con
tract. Portland lumber manufacturers
saw and ship more lumber than is
turned out it any other port in the
world, and they ship the greater part
of It on American vessels. Even since
this unjust and discriminating law
went into effect the Government has
feund Portland lumber to be so much
cheaper nd better than that which Is
obtainable elsewhere that America &
vessels have loaded here.
There le a big lUst of large American
schooners and bark-etHtoes eHwtty- avail
able for the Philippine trade, and with
in the past few weeks a -cargo of nearly
2,tt,CM feet has been shipped from
Portland to Manila on a full-rigged
American ship. The shipping law, as it
now stands, regarding Philippine traffic
Is so manifestly -unfair that Pactac
Coast shippers jhould Insist that It be
treated by the Quartermaster's Depart
ment on this Coast as It is on the At
lantic Coast. Extreme selfishness
brought the law Into existence, and the
only ones who .will suffer by Its non
enforcement will be a few millionaire
shipowners .who were responsible for Its
enactment.
BEWARE.
There is no deufet whatever that the
sale of Russian securities, both pbllc
and private, i proceeding all over E
rope, quietly but oo an enormous scale.
This sale has two Incentives, one nat
ural, the other artificial. The natural
Incentive is the distrust which every
holder of a Russian security must feel
under present circumstances. The arti
ficial incentive la the organised and per
sistent attack of the revolutionary lead
ers upon the credit of Russia. Know
ing these facts, who can doubt that the
money markets of Europe are flooded
with Russian securities?
For these enormous offerings there Is
no natural market. The Investing pub
He wishes to sell, the bankers are not
willing to buy. The only large pur
chaser Is the Russian government, and
Its only means of payment is the gold
reserve, which must therefore be stead
ily diminishing. It cannot be doubted
that this gold reserve Is flowing in a
continuous stream to Paris and Berlin
banks, and from them to individual
sellers of Russian bonds. The reserve
Is" apparently large, but compared to
the foreign holdings of Russian securi
ties it is really small and must soon be
exhausted. The credit of the autocracy
will then collapse with & shock that
will shake the world.
The French and German banks that
have bolstered up Russia will fall un
less London aids them. To aid them
London must sell American securities.
France and Germany, being In panic,
will not buy- If sold at al, It must be
at home. The first consequence will be
the -unloading of the foreign bonds held
in America, the second an outflow of
gold and a permanently stringent
money market. Loans will become dif
ficult, securities will decline, credit will
fall. The signs of the times call for ex
treme caution lh speculation. A panic
of world-wide extent Is a possibility
which financiers must reckon with as
one of the near consequences of the
troubles in Russia.
THE OPTEMISH OT MR. CANNON.
Speaker Cannon, of the House of
Representatives, believes that the world
Is growing better as it grows older; or.
If not the whole world, at least that
very Important and active part of It
Included in the United States. The
Speaker has lived in the world a long
time, with good opportunities to judge
of Its moral and material trend; it has
treated him so well that he is In all
likelihood disposed to judge fairly; and
his standing among his fellow-men
gives reasonable assurance that he can
judge wisely. His opinion is therefore
Important, because of the man who
gives It. and doubly Important because
one of Sir. Cannon's years and experl
enceof human vicissitudes, summing up
the merits and demerits of our common
home. Inclines to cheerfulness. For In
this home, which we cannot leave at
will to better our fortunes on some
other planet, there is none too much
cheerfulness, and, as many think, none
too much reason for It; nd It would be
sad indeed to hear from the lips of age
and wisdom that our world Is little bet
ter than an estate owned by & dissolute
landlord where most of us, bound .like
serfs to the soli, have nothing to hope
for ourselves but Injustice and disap
pointment, and nothing for posterity
but misery Increasing with the years.
Mr. Cannon thinks the world is
growing better;, he does not say the
world is as good as It can be. If the
world were as good as It could be, then
of course there would be no hope of Im
provement. Struggle would be fruit
less and effort vain. This -latter opin
ion Is dire pessimism. It Is the verita
ble gospel of despair. It is more wo
fu.lly hopeless than the conviction that
the world is growing worse; for deteri
oration at least Involves change, nd
change for the worse Implies the pos
sibility of betterment, though it may be
long In coming. In fact, to say that
the world Is as good as It can be is only
a deceptive way of asserting that It Is
as bad as it can be, and, put In this
form, few are simple enough to mistake
the melancholy untruth for optimism, a
title which 4t claims often and un
fairly. It was this dogma that the world Is
as good as It can ever be made which
excited the ridicule of Voltaire. In. his
famous tale. "CandJde." he illustrated
the common lot of humanity by narrat
ing a train of calamities which befell
an Innocent girl through causes beyond
her control or even her knowledge,
every one of which might have been
counteracted by Increased intelligence
and morality In her fellow-men. And It
beautifulls' demonstrates the validity of
his argument against the "happiest
possible race In the best possible world"
that many of the causes of human mis
ery which the fatuous Indolence of his
time assumed to be Involved in the con
stitution of the universe have since
been successfully combated by science.
In Voltaire's day. for example, men sat
down helpless before plague and pes
tilence. Science has now learned the
origin of many of these so-called visi
tations and deprived them of all their
mystery and most of their virulence.
In that respect the world has certain
ly improved since the time of Voltaire
Mr. Cannon cites the railroads, tele
phones and other mechanical Inventions
for which our age Is famous as exam
ples of Improvements equally undenia
ble, but there are many men who do
not agree with him upon this point.
Mechanical Inventions have much to
answer for on the score of human misery-
Every important new one throws
men out of employment, ruins their ca
reers and socially degrades their fami
lies. Machines have also Increased
rather than diminished that unfairness
In the distribution of wealth which
thoughtful men have always deplored
and now deplore more than ever. Still,
admitting all this, as In fairness we
must, Mr. Cannon Is nevertheless right
in his opinion. Inventions have made
the world better. Their chief benefit so
far lies in that unification of mankind
which was the most striking social
phenomenon of the last century.
Knowledge and. thought beoame com
mon property. The barrier of space
which had 'done so much to promote
hooUHty among nations nd even
among different sect lone of tb same
nation, wu ovoroome. Men became
more and more dependent upon each
other to supply their dally wants, and
with interdependence mutual under
standing has developed and hatreds
have bogus to fade. No agency has
done so much as modern inventions to
promote the fundamental Christian doc
trine of unlrorssl brotherhood, and for
that reason, even if there were no
other, Mr. Cannon to right in pronounc
ing them a benefit.
Scientific inventions are a benefit also
in that they assure the world of abun
dance 'of food and clothing in the long
run- The abundance Is -waiting for us.
but we have not yet learned how to dis
tribute it. At present society ts much
in the condition of our late army In
Cuba. Shiploads of supplies lay off
Santiago. Soldiers were starving and
dying of wounds on the shore. The
problem of getting the supplies from
ship to sokUer baffled the commissary
department Just as the larger problem
of getting wealth from the producing
machine to the consuming multitude
has thus far baffled science, philosophy
and religion. But k will not always
baffle. A solution will be found which
will ultimately more than justify -Mr.
Cannon's optimism.
The cental and kindly Speaker of the
House, enumerating some of those
grounds for hope which it Is too easy
for all of us to forget, omitted that In
creasing freedom of thought and
speech which distinguishes our" present
age. Milton. In bis noble argument for
liberty of the press, tells of a visit he
made to the great Galileo In his long
imprisonment for teaching unaccepta
ble truth. Galileos are Imprisoned no
more, neither are fires lighted for our
modern Brunos. No Milton need now
employ his divine eloquence against
chains for thought and fetters for the
press. That battle has been fought and
won, and so much the world has gained
onceand for all time.
The sight presented by the Lewis and
Clark Fair grounds. In -their present
state of desolation, and impending ruin,
causes a pang of regret. The grounds
arid buildings, however, had their day,
and It was a long, attractive and use
ful one. They are preserved by many a
souvenir of their beauty when In the
heyday of their Summer glory. nd by
the memories of hundreSa of thousands
of visitors who enjoyed them. To at
tempt to preserve them In any other
way would be the height of sentimental
folly. Even ihe quaint and beautiful
Forestrj' building would doubtless In
a few years, even with such care as can
be given looking to its preservation,
present a sorry sight with bark slip
ping from the massive logs and weather
stains everywhere visible. There Is
wisdom in yielding to jhe Inevitable In
Nature, without puny struggle and
doleful protest.
When the Greater Salem Commercial
Club recited in Its resolutions that the
Willamette Valley is as large as the
State of Connecticut, and that the locks
at the falls at Oregon City maintain
freight rates not only on the river but
on the competing railroad, enough was
shown to Justify public ownership and
control of the passage from the upper
to the lower river. Elimination of the
-toll at -the falls would not only reduce
freight rates on steamboat traffic, but
would reduce the charges on the rail
road from all points within hauling dis
tance of the river. The man who leads
the movement resulting in Government
ownership of the locks at Oregon City
will need no monument to perpetuate
his memory In this state.
It la reported that the Northern Pa
cific will build a couple of fast steamers
for the Portland-ftan Francisco run to
connect with the north-bank road.
There are few. If any, more attractive
scenic routes In this country than that
by water between Portland and San
Francisco, and high-speed, modern
built steamers would handle n enor
mous and steadily increasing tourist
traffic as soon as they were placed on
the route. There is also a large amount
of freight now handled by small, slow
steamers, which would naturally be se
cured by the high-speed vessels if they
were placed In service.
The game license law has proved so
Profitable that there Is a balance of
J 13,009 on hand after paying all legiti
mate expenses of the State Warden's
office. The total receipts from license
fees were. $17,000. This would Indicate
that there were nearly 17,000 licensed
hunters in the state. As the license fee
is but a very small portion of the ex
pense attached to the sport. It Is quite
clear that a large amount of money Is
annually spent by hunters. It would be
Interesting to know how much more the
game costs than It Is actually worth.
In the Montana State Asylum for the
Insane there are 568 patients, of whom
120 are women. Of the latter number.
67 are farmers wives. There Is not a
professional woman or a woman gradu
ate of a college or university In the
number. This seems to Indicate that
the vocations that formerly bounded
"woman's sphere" are not more conru
clve'to mental health than are the vo
cations that have come with the wid
ened sphere of woman's work.
Portland needs a smelter. With
mines in all directions and ore valued
at millions being shipped out of the
state for treatment, we are not "realis
ing what we should on one of the great
est natural resources which we have
tributary to this city. The smelter
would not only prove a paying Invest
ment, but It would also attract to this
city a large amount of mining trade
from Oregon, Washington, Idaho, Brit
ish Columbia and Alaska.
President Eliot, of Harvard, has
taken his stand for a "modified and
reasonable game of football There Is
no such. football, and will not be until
we have a modified and reasonable
youth- Which heaven forbid.
James J. Hill may possibly turn over
to his sons the management of his great
railroad Interests; but we reckon the
old gentleman will be somewhere
around when there Is anything doing.
Mayor Lane's notions about the civil
service are purely of the after-election
brand. Suppose Mayor Williams had
wrecked the whole charter scheme of
civil service, as Mayor Lane has!
If there were no other reason why
the great Baker City scheme of raising
a dowry for Alice Roosevelt should be
discouraged. It ought to be sufficient
that she will be no ls-cent bride.
Judge Hamilton admits that he did It,
hut be Isn't going to tell about It. The
insurance grafters in and about the
Leg (stature of many states will
breathe a lot easier.
THE PESSIMIST. -
The man who wiggles himself into a
crowded street-car and says: "There is al
ways room for one more," should he made
to pay ten cents.
A man named Raise, Henry R. Knipe.
has corse out with a book called from
"Nebula, to Man." He tells ua in poetical
form Jast how things were done. He
begins at the very beginning of things.
Just after space was allotted to Seattle
for a towBsite. This was the hot-air pe
riod. After the pktnet cooled off and be
came solid, the poem Is more Interesting.
One verse Is as follows:
"Large size in nature is no guarantee
To those so blessed of long prosperity.
Small things do well; as see the water
flea." That was about the time when Tacoma.
began to grow.
The latest euro for consumption Is be
ing prepared for us in Paris. This time it
Is bovo vaccine. The- last one was vege
table soup with the soup part left out.
Bovo vaccine, as I understnd it. Is a
serum that has been extracted from a cow
that had something the matter with it.
It has been tried on some other cows that
had tuberculosis, and on some that had
not. They all recovered except the ones
that came down with nervous prostration
during the experiment. There is a rea
sonable hope that the treatment will be
a success when applied to human beings,
because. In certain respects. It la hard to
dlstlngush some people from a cow, par
ticularly when the cow is young.
Did any one ever notice a woman when
she is running to catch a car? It is a
sad sight, but for some reason or other,
the woman herself seems to think that it
Is quite comical. Close observation of
this phenomenon convinces me that some
thing must be coming loose, or that she Is
thinking of a funny story.
Patrick Henry, who Is not ashamed of
the fact that he lives in Brooklyn, writes
to the New Tork Sun about his troubles
with other people's automobiles. He lives
in a small brick house on a quiet street
where the allantus trees still survive with
their pungent smell. That smell seems to
be enough for him, and any other Is a
stench In his nostrils. The odor of gaso
line fills his soul with rage, but what
makes him madder yet Is the sound of
horns. This Is the way that he feels
about It:
Who gives the automobiles the right to
blow horns la the SPtreeta? Can a track
driver carry a horn? Can a carriage: can
a. peddler; can a pedtatrtan? What right has
a XatrnecJcd banker to come whirling up
the crowded street from his country hotuw
with a hairy chauffeur tooting an angry,
raucous, nerve-killing horn, making me almost
Jump out of my skin lest I be run over? Who
gives him a right to slx the street for hlm
It? Can a carriage do this? Can I get
a right of way up through the crowd and
borae by blowlag a bom In front of me and
scaring citizen, okl. young and middle-aged,
so that they Jump out of my way?
Let us end this nuisance! I call upon all
truck-drlvera and citizen. to carry horns and
blow back at the beasts as they hog the high
roads. Let old. young, middle-aged. Join the
crusade.
To arms! To horns!
The Argonaut tells us how the Emperor
of Germany goes hutlng. "The Imperial
deer-stalking forest Is twenty-six miles
square, and Is Intersected with a network
of telephone wires forming a connection
with the game-keepers boxes, which are
scattered all over the preserves, and the
royal hunting box."
When the keepers see a deer that they
think Willie can hit. they ring him up,
and tell him where it Is. His chauffeur
is outside with a fast automobile and the
Imperial gun. He rushes madly through
the forest to the place where his quarry
was seen. If he doesn't miss it, the deer
Is dragged to a picturesque spot where his
Majesty has his picture taken, with his
shooting-iron grasped In a determined
manner, his left foot on the animal's
neck, and a fierce look on the right side
of his face.
a
I noticed by tbc cable dispatches that
his Majesty, King Edward, during his
recent stay at Sandringham wore a drab
Norfolk jacket, short pants, brightly-col
ored hose, and a scarlet Tarn O'Shanter,
It is not so flne to be a king.
Uneasy lies the head that wears a flam
ing crown.
Standing on the corner of Washington
and Fourteenth Street the other night. I
heard a sad voice singing:
"I wish I was an angel.
And with the angels stand;
A million In my pocketbook.
Another In my hand."
Et tu! Belasco. I have not the honor
of your acquaintance, but I know just
how you feel. M. B. WELLS.
George Ado and the Lady.
Chicago Inter Ocean.
Mr. George Ade found It difficult yester
day to maintain his tone of extreme gal
lantry in denying his engagement- The
first time the question was put to him
the refutation was exqulojjie. but the spir
it of Mr. Ade dropped somewhat under
fire, and -the last time he was asked the
question he is reported to have answered
with an enconomy of English.
When he was first asked on Wednesday
night: "Are you engaged to marry Miss
Dorothy Tennant?" he said:
"I can't Imagine how such talk got
abroad. I do not want to deny it with
Indignation. I consider myself highly
flattered to have my name coupled with
that of sach a. charming young lady. I
can tell you this much: No written word
has passed between us recently.
"I don't want to be harsh about It. and
I want this thing treated very carefully.
This lady Is playing in one of my plays In
San Francisco. I have for her the deepest
respect and esteem. No engagement exists
between us."
In the middle of yesterday afternoon,
when the city was Its nolsest and a haunt
ing anticipation of the dinner hour was
plaguing the spirit of man. he answered":
"Absolutely no foundation for it- Evi
dently the work of some chap who
thought it a good thing to boom the show
with the San Francisco newspapers.
"I have a speaking acquaintance with
Mls-s Tennant: met her during the re
hearsals of the play, but there Is posi
tively no ground whatever for the story
that we are engaged."
Just aft-ir dinner he said: "I know Miss
Tennant very well apd like her very
much. We are not engaged."
Late last night when Mr. Ade was ac
costed with the preliminary "are you."
he said simply, succinctly and distinctly
to the questioner's thorough enlighten
ment, "No!"
Have Yon Been There?
Woman's Home Companion.
Lives there & man who has not said:
"Tomorrow I'll get out of bed
At "frlx o'clock and get things dose
Sefara the setting of th sua Z"
Lives there a. rsaa who has not said.
At six A. if.. "How goad this bed
Xes feel." aad sare till after eight.
Then wasdered how he slept s late?
NOVELISTSAS COOKS.
Dickens Sets Down the Best Dishes
in fiction.
London Titbits.
.It Is said that the cook of a late
Duke of Buccleuch got hints for seme
of his best dishes in the novels of
which he was a constant reader. Some
of these dishes were so successful that
eventually they found their way Into
cookery books. The "Almanach des
Gourmands," for example, mentions a
soup with which Is gratefully asso
ciated the name of Meg Merrllees. As
readers of "Guy Mannering" will re
member, this was originally a "goodly
stew composed of fowls, hares, part
ridges and moor-game, boiled In a
large mess with potatoes, onions and
leeks." But doubtless Meg would have
considered It a waste to refine this
down to a soup.
Some of our novelists are excellent
caterers, and spread delightful meals
for us In their pages. No doubt our
enjoyment In part Is due to the com
pany they summon to meet us. but re
garded simply as food some of these pa
per meals undoubtedly beget In us a keen
desire to eat. We wonder If anybody has
ever ventured to order one of them at an
Inn? What could be better for a Winter
night than that savory supper which
was served at the Jolly Sandboys to Cod
Hn and Short? "It's a stew of tripe."
said the landlord, smacking his lips, "and
cow-heel," smacking them again, "and
bacon," smacking them once more, "and
steak," smacking them for the fourth
time, "and peas, cauliflowers, new pota
toes and sparrow-grass, all working up
together In one delicious gravy." Does
it surprise you that Short's first remark
was. "What a delicious smell?" Such a
supper, of course, calls for a country
kitchen, with a sanded floor and a blux
Ing hearth.
Later writers are less hospitable to their
readers than their predecessors. Is this
merely a question of diminishing space,
or Is It that In these days of universal
cookery lessons everybody has the same
things, and there is no longer "copy" In
eating and drinking?
Dickens ts undoubtedly our best cook.
He has wholo paragraphs which a house
wife might copy verbatim Into her kitchen
book. And the astonishing thing is that
In such passages Dickens Is never less
than at his best. A good example of this
is Ruth Pinch's beefsteak pudding. A
whole chapter Is given to It, and there Is
no more delightful episode In the book.
One lingers over the preliminary butter
ing of the basin, and the picture of
Ruth's "kneading away at the crust, roll
ing It out, cutting it Into strips, lining
the basin with It, shaving It off fine
round the rim, chopping up the steak Into
small pieces, raining down pepper and
salt upsn them and packing them into
the basin."
Doubtless one would watch these opera
tions with a less breathless Interest were
the cook stout Mrs. Crupp. But If senti
ment Is not to be got out of Mrs. Crupp's
cooking there Li plenty of fun, as those
who have sat at David Copperfleld's table
know.
And what an eye Dickens has for com
fort. Come Into the Green Dragon with
Martin and Mark Taploy as dusk falls
on a Winter's day. "The kitchen fire
burnt clear and red, the table was spread
out. the kettle boiled, the slippers were
thqre, the bootjack, too: sheets of ham
were cooking on the gridiron, half a
dozen eggs were poaching in the frying
pan; rare provisions were dangling from
the rafters, as If you had only to open
your mouth and something exquisitely
ripe and good would be but too glad of
the excuse to fall Into It."
We of this generation arc said to eat
too much. But here is a supper which,
If we are to believe Mr. Blackmorc,
was not thought out of the way on
Exraoor in "girt Jan Ridd's" days.
Tom Faggus stopped to sup that
night with us. and took a little of
everything: a few oysters first, and
then dried salmon, and then ham and
eggs done in small curled rashers, and
then a few collops of venison, and next
to that a little cold roast pig, and a
woodcock on toast to finish with before
the Schiedam and hot water." Jan's
only comment on this huge meal was
that "Tom seemed in fair appetite."
While we are at Plover's Barrows
farm it might be worth while to make
a note of the mince pies, which had a
great vogue on Exmoor. Jaris-account
of how the mincemeat, was made Is.
however, a littlo hazy "golden pip
pins finds- shred, with the undercut of
the sirloin, and splec and fruit accord
ingly and far beyond my knowledge."
Scott sits you down to many a
groaning board, and in the best of
company, too. But you need to bring: a
loaded with the "priestly ham. the no-
oie oaron oi necr, ine princely venison
pasty." which you are to wash down
with tlagons of ale or mead. But Scott
can also be modern. One cherishes a
pleasant memory of a braco of wild
ducks, with a sauce of claret, lemon
and cayenne, served for supper at
Woodbourne on the evening of the day
that Dominie Sampson lunched with
Meg Merrllees. But with Pleydell and
his fair friends at the table one would
be content with bread and cheese.
Mr. Meredith's cook Is generally a
"cordon bleu." and. like his excellent
Dr. Mlddleton. one enjoys the Iel3urely
promenade up and down the lawn at
Raynham Abbey or Patterne Hall In
anticipation of the dinner bell. Dr.
Mlddleton "misdoubted the future as
well as the past of the man who did
no:, In becoming gravity, exult to
dine." At Sir Wllloughby's table one
must agree with him. None of our
novelists writes with a moro intimate
knowledge of wine than Mr. Meredith.
The cellars at Patterne Hall he con
structs with loving care. In particular
an Inner cellar, where he lays down a
port "nged 30." Over this great wine
one thinks of Dick Swlveller's "purl."
or the wine which the "Marchioness"
made by dropping pieces of orange
peel Into cold water, and which was
"quite nice" if you made believe very
much Contrast can hardly be pushed
to wider limits. Dr. Mlddleton, setting
down his glass, points us the moral:
"Here Is the misfortune of a thing
supor-exccllent; not more than one In
20 wit; do It Justice."
A Submarine Cruiser.
Harper's Weekly.
The French navy Is still maintaining an
active interest In submarine vessels, and
an entirely new type of craft Is soon to
be constructed at Cherbourg, which, on
account of Its large sire, will be known
as a "submarine cruiser." It is 182 feet
In length and 15 feet beam, being driven
by electric motors when under the water
and by gasoline engines at the surface.
There are two electric motors, which op
erate two propellers and eight horizontal
rudders, while current Is to bo supplied
by double sets of accumulators. Water
tight compartments will be fitted along
the sides of the vessel for over two-thirds
of Its length, while fuel tanks are to be
placed In the center, one on each side.
The Comlnpf of Queen Gwencyerc.
Harper's Magazine.
Rise up, aleepy damsels.
And let In tlte Day!
Her dress of th sunlight.
She sends night away.
She steps on the darkness
With shoes white as milk..
With a shining of s&mtte,
A rustling of allk.
Step by step, walking with her.
While the harp-song Is sung, -W
are part of her pleasure,
W are glad she Is young.
When she knocks on the lintel.
The day shall begin:
Xtle up. sleepy- damsels.
Aad let her come Inl
RQOSEVELT AND THE ROMANS
Paris cable to Chicago Chronicle.
A parallel, cynical, daring. Just pub
lished in the Figaro, compares the
United States under Theodore Roose
velt with the Roman empire under
Augustus that Roman empire rotted
to the core by the vice which follows
In the train of untold wealth and de
grading luxury.
The wonderful picture which, line by
line, traces the struggle of a man
against the encroachments on the one
side of the appalling power of riches
and on the other against the devitalis
ing of a nation is painted by a hand
no less authoritative than that of Gug
llelmo Ferrero, the famous historian
of the Roman state.
He shows how 20 centuries ago in
the heart of an immense empire a man
t6iled day and night to solve a prob
lem on which depended a great peo
ple's fate. Rome had eaten of the for
bidden fruit. Unlawful riches and soft
delights had sapped Its vitality. The
stoic had given way to xthe epicurean.
And Augustus, striving to beat down
the social and political power of
money, saw crowded Into, his senate
the dissolute sons of wealth by force
of the fact that commerce was the
strength of the state.
So with Roosevelt. The Italian his
torian points out that between two
Jarring conceptions of state duty he Is
calling his people back to primitive
simplicity, while at the same time
aiming at territorial and commercial
expansion.
"Only a short time ago." said Fer
rero. "Roosevelt re-edited for his Yan
kees exactly as Augustus did an old
speech at Metellus Macedonicus on
augmenting the population. He frowned
down celibacy, sterility, the frequency
of divorces and all the vices of civil
ization tottering under wealth. Like
Augustus, he has striven to set up
again the powerful simplicity and no
ble traditions of the early fathers.
All America admired his discourse. Tet
the President-apostle of old-time fru
gality and republican severity must
in duty hurry the cutting of the Pan
ama Canal, which will double Ameri
can commerce, the riches of the towm
and the luxury of social magnates.
"Like Rome under Augustus. Amer
ica now can support neither Its vices
nor their remedies."
Lincoln the Farmer.
From Frederick Trevor Hill's "Lincoln. th
Lawyer," 'in the January Century.
As a man-of-all-work, however. Lin
coln did not prove altogether satis
factory to his employers. He was too
fond of mounting stumps in the field
and "practicing polemics" on the other
farm hands, and there was something
uncomfortable about a ploughman who
read as he followed the team, no mat
ter how straight his furrows ran.
There is a well-known story about a
farmer who found "the hired man"
lying In a field beside the road, dressed
in his not too Immaculate farm clothes,
with a book instead of a pitchfork in
his hand.
"What arc you reading?" inquired
the old gentleman.
"I'm not reading: I'm studying."
nnswered Lincoln, his wonderful eyea
still on the pages of his book.
"Studying what?"
"Law. sir."
The old man stared at the speaker
for a moment In utter amazement.
"Great God -Almighty!" he mut
tered as he passed on, shaking his
head. '
The Dear Little Girl.
Minneapolis Journal.
One of those dear old gentlemen
who were sent into the world to do
good to It recently happened upon a
nice little girl who was standing look
ing somewhat wistfully at a big, five
barred gate.
"Oh, please, sir," she asked plaintive
ly, "will you open this gate for me?'
Smilingly the kindly old gentleman
lifted the latch and pushed It back. It
opened easily, and he took the oppor
tunity to point a moral.
"Because a- thing seems big and
heavy and dlrflcult. my dear, is no rea
son that we should not attempt at any
rate to deal with It. This gate, for In
stance. Is a case in point. Had you
tried you could have opened it quite
"Tes, sir," she said demurely. "Btit
then I should have got my hands all
over wet paint."
Then her benefactor contemplated a
ruined pair of gloves, and sighed for
the rising generation.
Deadly Trades.
Technical World.
"Tobacco workers are prone to dead
ly nervous diseases. I have never yet
seen a tobacco worker who Is not a
nervous crank; who is not off In his
head." complained . the owner of a
large Bowery cigar factory. "I don't
know why it is; I used to be a worker u
myself, and I have never recovered
from the effects of the trade. Half the
time my men are away sick or dying,
thpy are always ill-tempered nnd
flighty, and a public agitation makes
idiots of them. I don't know the rea
son, as I said." He was advised to con
sult a physician and find out.
The foreman In a stone-cutting yard,
when questioned, was better Informed
as to the evils of his trade.
"See those dust clouds all over the
yard?" he said. "Consumption there.
And quick, at that."
Timber Preservation in Sweden.
Wood Craft.
In Sweden the following method is used
for preserving woods, which seems to
commend Itself for simplicity and cheap
ness: The trees which are to be felled
have the bark chopped off near the root
completely around the tree for a short
distance, and durng the proper season
of the year. The tree is thereby deprived
of nourishment through the bark and
will die, but It will live for some time on
the sap remaining In the wood, thereby
withdrawing this sap. which is said to be
the prime cause of decay. When the tree
Is dead It is ready to be cut down. Tills
method. I understand. Is used for poles
for telegraph lines.
Prophesying England's Decline.
Glornale d'ltalla.
During the first half of the current cen
tury we shall witness the decline of the
naval preponderance of Great Britain. In
the Pacific she wilt have to hand ovor
Neptune's scepter to her Japanese ally,
and the United States will police the
Atlantic. Italy, the former queen of the
Mediterranean, will resume command of
her seas. Germany will control the Bal
dc That Bargain Crush.
"Fridar is bargain day" Housewives Chron
icle. Exchange.
Don't go shopping yet awhile,.
Walt a bit.
Walt and go another day:
Get a rest, ah I while you mar:
"Walt, and Join tha trenzlad fray;
Walt a bit
Watt till all the stores are jammed
Walt a bit
Walt til! aiales are packed and rammed
Walt a bit.
Walt till salesmen are half dead.
Tired, of limb and daft of head.
Till the shopping time has aod
Walt a bit.
Don't employ a bit of sense
Walt x bit.
Walt till every one's Intense
Walt a bit. '
Walt till you can never sret.
What you wan, and have to fret
Llka a hen with feathers wst
Walt a bit.