8.
THE MORNING OREGONIAN, TUESDAY, OCTOBER 10, 1905.
Entered at the Postofflce at Portland, Or.,
as second-class matter.
SUBSCRIPTION KATES.
INVARIABLY IN ADVANCE.
(By Mall or Express.)
Dally and feunday, per year.
..$0.00
5.00
Dally and Sunday, six months...
Dally and Sunday, three months..
Dally and Sunday, per month . . .
Tollt- without Snnrinv. nnr vear. .
Dally without Sunday, six raonths 3.00
Dally without Sunday, tlroe months.... l.tto
Daily without Sunday, per month
.05
Sunday. pr yoar
Sunday, six months. . .
Sunday, three months
. 2.50
. 1.25
.. .03
BY CARRIER.
Dally without Sunday, per week....
Daily, per week. Sunday Included....
THE WEEKLY OREGONIAN,
(Issuod Every Thursday.)
"Weekly. pr year
Weekly, six months
"Weekly, three months
.13
.20
1.30
.75
.30
HOW TO REMIT Sond postofflco money
order, express order or personal check on
your local bank. Stamps, coin or currency
are at the Bonder's risk.
EASTERN BUSINESS OFFICE.
The S. C. Bcckwlth Special Agency New
York, rooms 4X-50 Tribune building. Chicago,
rooms 310-312 Trlbuno building.
ICE1T ON SALE.
Chicago Auditorium Annex. Postofflce
News Co.. 178 Dearborn street.
Dallas. Tex. Globe News Depot, 200 Main
street.
Denver JuIIub Black. Hamilton & Kond
rlck, &OC-012 Seventeenth street; Pratt Book
Store, 1214 Fifteenth streot.
Dch Moines, In. Mesos Jacobs, .300 Fifth
street.
Goldtlcld, Nor. F. Sandstrom: Guy Marsh.
Kan.ius City. Mo. Itlcksecher Cigar Co.,
Ninth and Walnut.'
LoS Angeles Harry' Drapklm B. E. Amos,
514 West Seventh street; Dlllard News Co.
Minneapolis M. J. . tKavanaugh, 50 South
Third.
Cleveland. O. James Pushaw; 307 Superior
street.
New York Cits- L. Jones & Co.. Astor
House.
Oakland, Cal. W. 11. Johnston, Fourteenth
and Franklin atroots.
Ogdrn Goddard Harrop; D. L. Boyle.
Omaha Barkalow Bros., 1012 Farnam;
Mageath Stationery Co.. 130S Farnam; "240
South 14th.
Sacramento, Cal. Saoramonto News Co.,'
420 K street.
Salt Lake-Salt Lake News Co.. 77 West
Si t ond street South; National News Agency.
Lone Beach B. E. Amos.
San Francisco J. K. Cooper & Co.. 740
Market streot; Goldsmith Bros., 230 Sutter
and Hotel St. Francis Nows Stand; L. E.
Lee. Palace Hotel News Stand; F. W. Pitts.
1008 Market; Frank Scott. 80 Ellis; N.
Whcatley Movable News Stand, corner Mar
Kt and Kearney streets; Foster & Orear.
Ferry News Stand.
SU Louin. Mo. E. T. Jett Book & News
Company, fcOO Olive street.
Wahhlngton, D. C Ebbltt House, Pennsyl
nnla avenue.
PORTLAND. TUESDAY. OCTOBER 10, 11)05.
A STANDARD OIL ASSET.
It Is well known that Mr. John D.
Rockefeller makes his Summer home at
a place of his called Forest Hill, "near
Cleveland, and spends the Winter in
New York. He Is a member of the Euclid-Avenue
Baptist Church, In Cleve
land, and is also superintendent Of a
class in the Sunday school connected
with that church. Each year, upon de
parting for New York, It Is his practice
to make a little farewell address to this
class, replete with wise saws and mod
ern Instances, very modest in tone and
illustrated by allusions to the humble
objects and interests of country life.
The address which he made last Sun
day was no exception to this rule. It
is far within limits to say that every
thought he uttered had been uttered
millions of times before, and usually in
better language. Every illustration he
used was older than human speech;
they were all familiar in the panto
mimic conversations of our post-simian
ancestors. Just such addresses are
made every Sunday all over the coun
try by ignorant, simple-minded5 men
who feel obliged to say something, and,
not knowing how, deliver themselves In
ancient and arid formulas.
The question comes into mind In
stantly, " Why did Mr. Rockefeller make
this address?" Of the grotesque humor
which abounds In his remarks the good
man must have been unconscious. He
could never have dreamed, for example,
how ridiculously suggestive it is that
he should advise people to cultivate the
spirit of patience. Heaven knows most
of the inhabitants of this, country need
patience in the highest degree when j
they either think of Rockefeller or deal
with him; but he had nothing of that j
sort in mind when he was-' talking to j
the children. Nor could he have con- j
celved how ludicrously apt his compar- I
ison of himself to a sponge was. He j
felt like a sponge, he said, because he
had absorbed so many blessings. Most
of his countrymen feel like sponges also,
Mr. Rockefeller may be glad to know,
but .for a reason somewhat different.
The blessings that he has been absorb
ing have been squeezed out of the rest
of us.
Why did Mr. Rockefeller make his
silly speech to the Sunday school chil
dren? His pastor or lawyer could have
easily written him a better one and he
could have learned It by heart with less
effort than he put into the composition
of the address he delivered. For, If it
is not & work of art, it Is the result of '
enormous labor, evidently, like a
schoolboy's first essay. The question
why Mr. Rockefeller went to the trou
ble of putting together and delivering
this vapid piece of oratory is not dif
ficult to answer. He thought he was
doing something agreeable to what he
calls vGod. The deity he has accepted
is pleased with that sort of thing. It
Is a deity without morality or sense. He
is as easily fooled by slick phrases as
a countryman before a sideshow on cir
cus day. Mr. Rockefeller believes that
a man can He and cheat steadily for six
days In the week and on the seventh
make God forget all about It by giving
him what the Irreverent call taffy; that
is, by tellinghim what a great, power
ful .and wisexb'elrighe is; just as a lightning-rod
agent who wants to swindle a
farmer begins by making him think he
is a second Solomon.
If one had the time, it would be in
teresting to inquire whence Mr. Rocke
feller and men like him, whose conduct
is utterly unscrupulous, get their con
temptuous opinion of the intelligence of
the Almighty. How do they come to
believe that the pretenses of this being
to goodness, virtue and justice are
empty, and that a little flattery,-or at
most a gift of money, will "make it
all right" with him? Again, the answer
Is not difficult to And. Colonel Robert
Ingersoll was wrong in saying that men
make their gods In their own Image.
The truth Is that men put Into their
gods, not their own characters, but
those qualities which they believe they
can most easily manipulate and con
trol. What our captains of industry
want Is a deity whom they can flatter,
"befool and bribe, .just as they do their
competitors in business. What use
would a man like Rockefeller have for
a .god who was continually checking
and 'interfering with his schemes to de-
fraud his contemporaries? None what
ever. He chooses his deity on purely
business grounds, just as he does his
partners, his lawyers and his pastor.
His Sunday school speeche?, his church
going, his gifts to colleges, are all in
vestments, and he makes every one of
them pay. Mr. Rockefeller's god Is one
of the most valuable assets of Stand
ard Oil.
JUSTICE FOR THE PHILIPPINES.
It is not vital to the interests of the
United States that our flag should re
main In the Philippine Islands. But It
Is well for us that It should remain.
Through our sovereignty there we have
ah advantageous position for commerce.
Our position there will help us to con
trol the commerce of the Pacific.
But what of the Inalienable right of
the Filipinos to Independence, to lib
erty and to pursuit of happiness, on
their ovn account? These are abstract
propositions. The races of the Philip
pine Islands are not far enough ad
vanced In knowledge of the conditions
of liberty, and in experience In govern
ment, to allow such a question to be
come- a practicable one for them. In
other words, they are not sufficiently
advanced in civic knowledge to enable
them to maintain an independent state.
This is the conclusion of all who have
studied from their own observation the
conditions existing In the Islands. It
was a happy thought of Secretary Taft
to take with him to the islands a num
ber of leading Democratic politicians,
to see for therriselves. The result Is
that Mr. Bourke Cockran, speaking for
himself and for his associates, accepts
the present policy of the United States
as the best practicable under the ex
isting circumstances. One exception
only Is made. We should establish for
the Islands free commercial Intercourse
with the United States.
Yet probably we are giving too much
attention in the Philippines to abstract
theories of the rights of man, which is
the same as wasting our" theories upon
those who have no conception of
their real meaning. Mr. Alleyne Ire
land, who has written many articles in
the Atlantic Monthly and other publi
cations on conditions In Oriental coun
tries growing out of contact with Euro
peans and Americans with the natives
there, and who Is called by a writer in
the New York Sun perhaps the best
qualified specialist on colonial affairs at
the present time, says: "Broadly speak
ing, the American policy In regard to
the control and development of the
Philippines is the exact opposite of that
adopted by every other nation. In that
political development has been taken as
a standard of attainment instead of In
dustrial development. In opposition to
the universal experience of mankind
that the latter has always preceded the
former."
That Is, the real Filipino question at
this time Is an Industrial one. Since we
hold the islands, we should give them
advantage of trade with the United
States. Strike the fetters from the
trade and industry of the Islands. This
is the policy not abstract principles of
freedom which they could not under
stand or apply most necessary for
their present well-being and future ad
vancement. MISREPRESENTATION EXPOSED.
The British steamship Kelvlnbank,
drawing 24 feet 3 inches of water,
crossed out to sea yesterday on a 7.6
foot fide, half an hoar before high
water. There was nothing particularly
wonderful In the performance, as
deeper-draft vessels have ben crossing
out in perfect safety lor years. The
noteworthy feature of the performance
of the Kelvlnbank, however, lies in xhc
fact that she was loaded to a greater
draft than the figure aroltrarlly estab
lished by the Columbia River bar pilots.
That select coterie of superannuated
chair-warmers served official notice on
the master of the British steamship
Imaum that it was unsafe to load his
vessel to a greater draft than twenty
four feet. This edict was cabled to Eu
rope, and as a result it will be impos
sible for the Imaum to be insured If
she loads below the twenty-four-foot
mark, or, if she Is insured, the money
could not be collected in case the ves
sel was lost.
Perhaps the fair-weather pilots did
not Intend their official notice to be so
far-reaching In Its effect. They pr.5ba- '
bly thought that their demands for the
dispatch of the vessel with only iirt of !
her cargo would be promptly complied
with and no questions asked. To submit
quietly to the whims of the ancient
mariners who have apparently outllvrd
their usefulness as bar pilots woul'I
have been to Invite further attack-" on
our commercial prestige. As the rainy
season approached and the fireside (or
other bars) became more attractive, the
limit would be cut to twenty-two feet,
to twenty feet, or to any depth which
might suit the convenience of these ar
biters of our commercial destiny.
It Is, of course, unfortunate from the
pilots' standpoint that the Kelvlnbank
should have slipped out to sea under a
greater draft than they had fixed for
the Imaum. It establishes a precedent
the value of which cannot be destroyed
by all of the explanations that can be
offered. Admitting, for the sake of ar
gument, that the 24 feet 3 inches draft
of the Kelvlnbank was the maximum
which could have been taken out at that
time, the position of the pilots is still
Indefensible. The Kelvlnbank crossed
out before high water on a tide 1.6 feet
smaller than those which will be In evi
dence later In the month, and nearly a
foot smaller than that on the date for
which the Kelvlnbank was scheduled to
salL
Under the oircumstances we may ex
pect the pilots to return with a thrill
ing tale of the dangers of taking a ship
drawing three Inches more than the As
toria schedule over a' smooth bar, but
there Is not an unprejudiced shipping
man In either Astoria or Portland who
will doubt for one moment that any
more difficulty would have been experi
enced yesterday In taking the Imaum
out at 25 feet draft than was encoun
tered with the Kelvlnbank at 24 feet 3
inches. It may be wrong, however, to
place all of this blame for blacklisting
the port on the timid pilots. They are
under the direct Jurisdiction of a Pilot
Commission appointed by the Governor,
presumably for the purpose at main
taining an efficient pilot service on the
bar. It is in the power of the Pilot
Commission to recall the license of
every pilot who proves his Incompe
tency, and It Is also in Its power t li
cense new men. There are some good
men among the pilots now In eerv'ce at
the mouth of the river. Amans tnem
are a few who would not hesitate to
take to sea any vessel which the river
pilots could get down the river.
Unfortunately, these men are out
numbered by the timid old fosst.'s who
are laboring under the delusion that
they are the last of the race and that
the commerce of Portland will end for-
ever when they die. It Is the duty of
the Pilot Commission to take immedi
ate steps to remedy the damage that
has been done by the "twenty-four
foot" pilots. Unless they take some ac
tion in the matter. It Is up to Governor
Chamberlain to replace them with a
commission that Is familiar with Its
duties and Is not afraid to a- The
pilots' blacklisting the port has had one
effect which may prove beneficial later.
It has made it practically certain that
the days of compulsory pilotage on the
bar are numbered, and this Important
question at least wlfl be kept out of pol
itics at the next session of the Legislature.
EVERY ONE'S DUTY.
The duty of the people "of Portland to
the Exposition was not wholly dis
charged on Portland day. They gave
then a magnificent demonstration of
their loyal devotion to the great Fair,
and they were splendidly supported by
the people of all Oregon. Over S5.000
people, a majority of them from Port
land, on that day passed through the
gates. Portland day was the climax of
the entire Fair achievement. But there
were to follow fifteen days that were In
themselves just as attractive and in-
terestlng except for the great crowd,
and that deserve the continued patron
age of every person In this city and
state.
Five days only remain of, the Lewis
and Clark Exposition. You may have
been there every one of the past 112
days, and yet there Is much to see that
you missed. Or, If you have seen every
thing, everything Is worth seeing again.
You have five days, and five days only.
In which to make your farewell visit to
the finest show on earth.
The chief purpose of The Oregonlan
In urging the public to attend the Ex
position In these closing days is that It
may have a fitting finale to Its prosper
ous career. The Exposition deserves It.
It should not be permitted to'pass Into
history with merely a feeble good-bye,
expressive only of Indolent appreciation
of all that the enterprise has done for
Portland and the whole Northwest. Give
It on these last days a magnificent
send-off, that the world may know that
Portland was enthusiastic and happy to
the end.
Go today. If you cannot, go tonight.
IS JAPAN ANTI-AMERICAN?
Commenting upon the anti-peace
demonstrations in Japan at the time of
their first outbreak. The Oregonlan re
marked that there was. In all proba
blllty, no feeling behind them hostile
to America. The partial .destruction of
the American church was not believed
to Indicate anger at this country or at
President Roosevelt. The special corre
spondent of The Oregonlan, Miss Annie
Laura Miller, in her letter from Yoko
hama, confirms this opinion by obser
vations made upon the scene of the
riots. The mob. she very clearly Indi
cates, would have spared the church
had the guard possessed an American
flag to show them. As a matter of fact.
there has been no anti-American feeling
in Japan, and wonderfully little host!!
lty to any foreigners, since the war be
gan, except, of course, to Russians.
The Japanese of all classes believe
that many of the fruits of their victories
were bartered away in" the peace nego
tlatlons, and that their envoys are re
turning much as Moses did from the fair.
with green spectacles instead of guin
eas; and if they showed no resentment
they would be angels indeed. Such as
they did show was exceedingly mod
erate compared with our anti-draft
riots In New York during the Civil
War. To measure the self-control of
the Japanese by another standard.
place the disturbances in Toklj side
by side with the outrages perpetrated
by the Commune In Paris at the close
of the war with Germany.
The correspondent of The Oregonlan
point" out that such riots as actually
occurred would have been mush ess
violent had the police been discreet In
handling the mob. No fair observer
can draw any conclusions injurious to
the national character of the Japanese
from the anti-peace demonstrations;
and all attempts to prove from them
that the brown men hate foreigners are
pure malice. There Is no such hatred.
The whole history of Japan since Amer
ica first Introduced modern civilization
in her ports has been an almost un
broken welcome to everything foreign,
everything scientific, everything pro
gresslve. There Is much more hostility
to foreign ways of thought and to pro
gressive Ideas In Russia than there Is
in the land of the Rising Sun.
FULL PAY FOR PREACHERS.
Again Dr. Wilson, of Seattle, has
spoken to the Synod of Washington. He
seems determined to place ministers. If
possible, on an equality In self-supporting
manhood with laborers In other vo
cations. First, he wants them to attend
to their own work and do away with
hired evangelists, and now he suggiats
that they pay their way like other self
respecting American citizens, vlthout
asking rebate on goods or service of
any kind which theV or their families
require. These suggestions are decid
edly in the nature of reform.
The minister should be paid a living
wage, should earn It and maintain him
self and his family out of It, without
asking favors in the way of 10 per cent
rebates on purchases and half fare in
traveling. Donations should not be so
licited for him. Such offerings should,
in. fact, be considered an Impertinence.
There is no reason why he and his wife
should have their family supplies se
lected and purchased for them. Those
who object to placing the services of a
minister on a commercial basis should
reflect that this Is much better and
more satisfactory in every way than Is
the pauper basis which underlies dona
tions, rebates on supplies and demands
for half -fares on public conveyances.
It is the system not the minister that
Is to "blame for thus perslsteiuly
cheapening, the gospel and making
those who would follow preaching as a
vocation seml-mendlcants, subject alike
to criticism for wearing good clothes
and for going shabbj'.
Consul Anderson, at Amoy, China,
writes concerning trade conditions
there in a manner which shows that he
Is an observant man and a vigilant of
cer of the Government. The following
Is an extract from his recent consular
letter:
The Chinese know good goods a well as
anybody. This is true not only ef things to
which they are accustomed, but also of things
to which they are not accustomed. It Is a
rolftake, for 1 acta nee. to send poor canned
fruits to China. A consumer buys such goods
and. foreigner or Chinese, rrfusea to buy
again. China. Is sot a dumping ground for
the poor goods of any nation. The wise
American exporter wljl be content with small,
cr profits and slower trade In China, based
upon goods of standard grades and full value.
This Is simply to say that honesty
and a desire to please arc elements in
the export trade with China, as well
as wllh foreign nations, that form an
enduring basis in trade. American
manufacturers and shippers who ob
serve and act upon these suggestions
need not fear the boycott of American
products. What the Chinese want they
wlll buy, having first become satisfied
in regard to quality, suitability and
price.
Though there is plausible reasoning
In the position of the Walla Walla Val
ley settlers who protest against a
hydrographlc survey because of the ex
pense, yet the problem presents a dif
ferent aspect when the general good Is
considered. It is probably true that a
large number of waterusers are satis-
fled. Perhaps all of them are content
to go on as they have in the past,
taking water In their own way and
using as much as they please. But the
state has an interest beyond that of
present waterusers. In irrigation East
ern Oregon has Its greatest hope of
future development. Whenever water
Is available for irrigation, jthere new
farms may be laid out and the produc
tive area extended. It Is therefore es
sential to know exactly the extent of
each wateruser's rights and the
amount of water that has not been ap
propriated to a beneficial use. The
decisions of our Supreme Court show
that waste of water Is very general In
the Irrigation region. Accurate sur
yej's might lead to an economical use
of water and furnish Information of
opportunities for new Irrigation sys
tems. At the samd time, the Walla
Walla settlers are entirely within their
rights In protesting against surveying
work which they did riot ask to have
done and the cost of which they must
bear.
Rev. D. L. Spauldlng, who died at an
advanced age at the home of his
daughter In Spokane, last Sunday, was
for many years a member of the Oregon
Conference of the Methodist Episcopal
Church. An Itinerant preacher, who
went from one charge to another as he
was senv by the higher authorities of
his church, he formed a wide acquaint
ance In the Willamette Valley forty or
fifty years ago, and later in Eastern
Oregon and Washington. The an
nouncement of his death will recall to
a multitude the tireless labors of his ac
tive years. In country districts and at
annual campmeetlngs, as well as in the
pioneer towns to which he was sent
from time to time. A grave will be
opened in Lee Mission Cemetery, at Sa
lem, in a few days, to receive his body,
and, closing, will 'set the seal of si
lence upon the life work of another pio
neer of the Pacific Northwest.
"It's only a matter of form," Is an
excuse often made for carelessness or
rank dishonesty In the execution of
public .documents. That is the view
homesteaders and purchasers of state
land take when they make false affi
davits In order to acquire land for
themselves or for others. The In
dividual conscience may be satisfied by
the plea that If the Government accepts
the affidavit, it Is all right, but the fact
remains that the man who makes the
false statement has deceived the Gov
ernment, and Is a perjurer. Affidavits
are made to be believed and the fact
that the Government has an opportun
ity to investigate the facts is no excuse
whatever for the wilful perjurer. That
Is not merely a matter of form which
.affects the substance of things.
Doubtless there will be "harmony."
But too many are working for it with
knives up their sleeves. From this
point of view, doubtless:
It were a splendid uinht to tee
For one who bad no friend or brother there!
So Byron. Now Lucretius we turn
the Latin text Into English, as well we
can,, viz:
-Tto swVet from land when seaa are raging
To see another struggling on the deep:
Not that 'tis sweet bis torment to behold.
But sweet to look on ills, ourselves secure.
We fear one Republican faction Is
watching the other from such stand
point. We might pursue the subject.
but this perhaps Is enigmatical enough;
and yet perhaps 'tis plain enough.
Western Washington lumber and
shingle men report a shortage of 10,000
cars and claim that their business Is
hopelessly demoralized In consequence
thereof. Eastern Washington wheat
shippers are also complaining of an In
sufficiency of cars. With every car and
locomotive that can turn a wheel,
working up to Its capacity. It would
seem that General Prosperity had for a
time at least pitched his tent In the
railroad field. It is, perhaps, needless
to state that the railroads will not vol
untarlly establish that famous "forty
cent rate" on lumber until they are In
position to handle more than a small
portion of the offerings at the rates
now in effect.
The current Issue of Leslie's Weekly
contains a photograph of the magnlfl
cent new federal building at Indian
apolls which, it says. Is equipped.
among other things, with "lounging
rooms, libraries, and baths for the use
of Uncle Sam's employees." It required
over three years to build, and cost over
$2,000,000. Indianapolis has something
less than 200,000 Inhabitants, and is the
home of Vice-President Fairbanks and
United States Senator Beveridge. Under
the circumstances It would have been
difficult for Uncle Sam while he was
In the business of putting up public
buildings, to overlook Indianapolis.
Commissioner Vandlver can give
large number of reasons why President
McCall should resign and the New York
Life should not do business in Missouri;
but, if they are not sufficient, the re
turns In Missouri last November ought
to convince any unprejudiced person.
A paragraph from the Catholic Sentl
nel. relating to the railroad situation In
the Northwest and to kindred matters
reprinted by The Oregonlan yesterday,
was credited by mistake to the Pacific
Christian Advocate.
By calling general public attention to
their troubles, Mr. Gould and Mr. Ram
sey have satisfactorily shown to many
unenlightened minds In this neck of the
woods that the Wabash Is a railroad
and not a river.
The Polk County assessor found ?45,
000 In money In his county to list on
his assessment roll. That Is almost
enough to start a bank, if one man had
it alU
Lawyer Hughes doesn't want to be
Mayor of New York. This is a good
year for a Republican not to want Mc
Cleflan's Job.
Missouri loves company, but not the
New York Life.
SILHOUETTES.
Flatterers are the- devil's recruiting
sergeants.
Not all lightning calculators are elec
tricians. Every courteous locomotive fireman
expects some day to be a. civil engi
neer. A& yet no astronomer has been able
to discover a single creamery on the
milky way.
No, Adolphus. burial permits are not
made out In the dead languages.
Captain Spencer understands now
that the race Is not always to the
swift.
The merry football season is again
with us. A Pennsylvania player was
killed yesterday in the opening game.
Count Inouye. of Tokio. -will banquet
E. H. Harriman today. Let us hope the
magnate will not make a speech.
Ramsey lost the flrst round and with
drew from his fight with George
Gould. He 3iould now open negotia
tions with Jimmy Brltt.
Tom Piatt evidently remembers that
Ivan the Terrible died standing up.
Won't it be a relief when Alice
Roosevelt marries and starts keeping
bouse. She can't gad then.
To Messrs. Kclllher and Turner De
murrers are fairly good fire escapes,
but alibis are better.
You can't be a good citizen unless
you attend the Fair this week. Last
call for patriots.
I notice by the store windows that
union undergarments will be worn
narrower this Winter.
For this relief much thanks. Colonel
Weatherman Beals.
Charles M. Schwab says there are no
trusts. Carnegie knew that Schwab
could keep a secret when ho created
him.
A Prayer.
(The attending physicians announce that
there Is hope for the recovery or Bisnop
C. J. O'Reilly, who for some days has been
near death's door.) .
Grant us, dear God. our prayer this day;
Who supplicate more than obey;
That this thy good and valiant son
Be spared to us 'til time shall come
When full of years, his great work
done;
We who with deep contrition they
Who supplicate more than obey "
And for thy mercy oftencst come
With chastened" hearts may easier say
In lesser grief: "Thy will be done."
Dicky Dingbat's Essays.
First Grade. Aged 9.
Series A. No. 1.
Monney.
Monney Is what you by Things with
at the Store. It Is Alco what Is the
mater with John D. rocklngfeller and
pat Crow etc My Pop sayes It Is Root
of all cvlll. pop Is a Deacon and ho
Ought to know. Besides he most Digs
his hed oft for Roots trying to find
the Right 1. It Is too kinds Hard
monney and esey monney. we uon i
have Much in our toun but the 1st
Kind but we here a Lot about the 2nd
kind for the men which don't work
hear are mostly Insurance Agents,
A Suggestion.
The end-scat hog and the theater boor
Should go somewhere and take a cure.
To a far-off clime where they may bray
And take all the room In their artless
way
Without discommoding the others who
pay.
My geography's poor but can anyone
tell
Of a more remote place than say
Kallspol?
A Sonnet.
Alas, dear heart! For you I pine.
Please take your purse and drop a line.
Beware my fate and do not' sign
Another's name.
For thee I pine. I pine for thine
Relenting love.
For 30 days I'm getting mine.
Dear pay my flne and let me go.
That's how I pine. I love you so.
lie's Kicking Himself.
Oh, Charles! Can you see the man
Yes, I can see the man. Is he a wild
man or merely a concessionaire? He Is
neyther. He Is a real estate speculator.
Then why does he kick the calf? It la
his call and he has a right to kick It.
It Is a calf on him. He missed an option
last June because he thought ground
-would take a slump after the Fair.
ARTHUR A. GREENE.
Law and the Pistol.
Washington Star.
The law's attitude toward the pistol
Is a necullar one. and it does not
strongly appeal to the comprehension
of the average citizen. It is to the ef
feet that the pistol Is not a contraband
article of commerce, and that It can
be sold freely to all comers; that the
pistol does become a contraband article
when carried concealed on the person
and is then subject to confiscation and
the person so carrying It Is subject to
a heavy fine and Imprisonment; that
the court may grant a permit to
responsible person to carry a pistol
but that no permit Is necessary to en
able anyone who desires to buy and
own a Dlstoi for use in self-defense
within the premises of the residence.
Thus. If a man deems the possession
of a pistol necessary for his domestic
security, he la entitled to go to any
shoo and buy one. He Is a lawbreaker
If he carries that pistol home In his
nocket. but not a lawbreaker If he car
rles It through the streets in his hand.
Here la a deadly weapon which figures
In a majority of the crlmes-of violence,
which may. Indeed, be styled the main
murder tool. It has so few legitimate
uses that It can safely be said that not
one-tenth of the pistols sold are really
necessary for the peace or safety of
their owners, in fully nine-tenths or
cases the pistols are purchased out of
sheer bravado, a mistaken sense of
manhood or for murderous purpose.
Yet It Is offered cheaply In the mar
ket, openly. Intrusively. It tempts the
evildoer at every turn. It Is as easily
obtained as a box of crackers. Surely.
the law needs amendment to the end
of placing this deadly menace under
restraint.
Have Taken the Alarm.
Kansas City Star.
Eleven county Jails in the Seventh
Congressional -District m .Kansas are
vacant, going to show that as the people
grow wealthy they become more careful.
u
HINKY DINK"
Chicago Alderman Think That Pari Is Warm, but That Rome Is a Joke Be
cause People You Most Want to See Have Been Dead 2000 Years.
(Alderman Michael Kenna. Is a saloonkeep
er la the First Ward. Chicago, and not to be
eterred because his rival, "Bath House
John" Coughlln. recently had the luxury of
a trip to Europa and accordingly Immor
talized himself. Alderman Kenna also
known as "Hlnky Dink" Kenna went over
the same route, accompanied by his wife.
Mrs. Clara Lawler. and hts secretary. Nick
Martin. The party left Chicago June 23, and
on their arrival at New York, October 4.
Hlnky Dink." was Interviewed at great
length for the Chicago Record-Herald. Ex
tracts follow from the article.)
"I . don't see where Europe has any
thing on this country -said Alderman
Kenna. "and I wouldn t settle down la
any part of it If they made me king:
Chicago la good enough for me. The
Tower of London and the British Musoum
are especially fine for those who like that
kind of a game but life Is too short to
spend any time looking at a lot of old
junk. The transportation facilities of
London are about the same as those of
Glasgow very much on the hog. I'm
speaking of the trams and electric buses.
The suburban systems on the steam roads
are all right and there's no 'kick coming
there. I can't say that I'm 'stuck' on the
double-deck trams. Chicago has got
London and Glasgow beat to a whisper
when It comes to transportation. In Lon
don, the conductor keeps coming at you
every mile or so, and every time you
hand him a ha'-penny or tuppence he
touches his hat and says. 'Thank you
kindly.' Imagine one of those Halsted
street conductors In Chicago saying
Thank you when you slip him the nickel.
He grabs It out of your hand as if he
wanted to bat you one In the eye- You
can't buy an ice cream soda In London.
On the squaare. the women folk hunted
everywhere for a week and finally they
found a place where they sold something
that looked like a soda, but It was all
fizz. It was a funny snap to see the peo
ple rushing through the streets with a leg
of mutton or a hot roast, which they were
taking home from the bakeshop. The
women In London must be bum cooks.
t
"Paris Is the hottest town I ever struck,
enjoyed myself there more than any
other spot In Europe. I was on tho go day
and night, and I don't think I missed any
big events. To do Paris right you must
have a guide, and the lad that showed
us around certainly was onto his job. Ho
taught me how to pronounce a whole lot
of French words, and I can rattle them
off like a native Parisian. It cost me 2
francs, that's 40 cents, to learn how to
say Bois do Boulogne and Champs
Elysees. Such words as 'au revolr, gar
con, gendarmes and concierge are easy,
and I got 'em for a dime'.
"Tim Sullivan, the New York politician.
was in Paris this Summer, and they tell a
story about him ordering Champs Elysees
for dinner. He thought It was some kind
of a stew.
"It seemed to me that the people of
Parts never slept. The streets at 2 In the
morning are like the streets of Chicago
and New York at 2 In the afternoon. My
head was In a whirl from the tlmo I
landed there until I left. I guess I visited
every 'cafe chantanf in the city, and
maybe those French girls don't know how
to dance. They'd be pinched, though. If
the came over here and cut up their
capers. I explored the red-light district.
and must say that our tenderloin In Chi
cago Is a Sunday school alongside of It.
My reason for making this slumming tour
was purely sociological. I believe that's
what they -call It when they go rubber
necking in Chicago. When I get back I'll
give some of those reform guys the benefit
of my observations with a few snap shots
mat 'ick' took on the other side. I wont
the route and nothing got past me. You
ONE CROOK COUNTY VIEW.
Madras Pioneer.
The conviction of Congressman Will
iamson and his associates at Portland
last week but emphasized the need
there was for a thorough investlga-,
tlbn into public land matters In this
state, such as has been conducted by
District Attorney Heney and the corps
of special agents who are assisting
him. It was evident during tho Mitch
ell trial how honeycobmed with
land graft" the public service has be
come, but It remained for the WHIIam-son-Gessner-BIggs
trial to show how
whole communities may become so ac
customed to seeing "the range cor
ralled" that it ceases to be considered a
crime to commit perjury In connection
with land matters, and the Govern
ment Is guilty of "persecution" when
It seeks to prosecute cases of this
kind.
Such a state of affairs is not to be
wondered at, however, when the prom
inent citizens of a community and
those high in the public life of a state
are encouraging It by both precept and
example. "Custom of the country and
"protection of their sheep range" are
but poor excuses for crime, and espe
cially when that crime is so far-reach
ing In Its effects that It Involves that
high sense of right and justice upon
which community welfare depends.
It Is time such things ended, and in
his conviction of defendants William
son, Gessner and Biggs, Mr. Heney has
won a great victory for purer public
service and cleaner community life. It
Is true, as the attorneys for the de
fense said, that the conviction of one
of our Congressmen Is a disgrace to the
state, but the disgrace lies In the In
ference the outside world must draw
of the character of citizenship which
places such men high in authority.
Their conviction is a refutation of that
natural Inference, and stamps Oregon
as a state where neither social prestige
nor political Influence can save those
who transgress the law.
Teddy, Jr., Football Candidate.
New York World.
Theodore Roosevelt. Jr., does not intend
to "drift" through Harvard, but to take
an active part in the undergraduate life of
the university, and to that end he Is Iden
tlfving himself with Its varied Interests.
While at Groton young Roosevelt lent
a hand in philanthropic work, and he
'means to do so here. To that end he
has given his name to the officers of the
Phillips Brooks House Association as one
who stands ready to be of service to oth
ere. Just what use will be made of him
Is not known.
His father taught a Sunday school class
when at Harvard, and once shocked the
orthodox minds of some of his fellow-
church workers by giving a member of
his class It for licking another small boy
who deserved It. Roosevelt. Jr., may fol
low In his steps, although as yet no defl
nlte task has been assigned to him. He
Is now a candidate for the freshman
eleven.
She Spoiled It AU.
Kansas City Times.
They had not met for 15 years since
they were young people In the same small
Missouri town. When he saw her he said:
"Mary, you're looking mighty well."
"Fred." she replied, "you haven't
changed a bit in looks since I last saw
you."
Every man likes to be told he looks
young.
"Is that so?" he said, smiling.
"Yes." came from her, "you always did
look old to me."
Child Study in Shades.
Puck.
"I wish to adopt a child," said the
wealthy woman In the orphan asylum;
"what have you?"
"Oh, we have them in all 'shades,' re
plied the polite lady superintendent;
"which do you prefer?"
"I think a blond child will be the most
appropriate." answered the wealthy wom
an; "my auto Is finished In blue,"
SEES EUROPE
certainly get a run for your money In
Paree. There's no Ud In that town. Even
the stores don't have lids.
"The audience our party had with the
Pope will always remain a pleasant mem
ory, and the Imposing grandur of St.
Peter's Cathedral and the Vatican Is
something a person can never forget.
There are many things lh Rome to Inter
est sightseers besides St. Peters and the
Vatican. The Coliseum, the Campus
Martlus, the Baths of Agrlppa, tho
Pantheon and the Catacombs are amonsr
the greatest sights of Europe. That kind
of stuff don't make much of a hit with
me, but I can see how people who like it
go bughouse. I saw the tomb wherot
Augustus, one of the early Roman Emper
ors. Is buried. 'Gus' has been 'planted'
about 1900 years, and yet people wro
never knew him visit his grave.
"The Pantheon, which was built about
2000 years ago, and partly destroyed by
Nero. Is a flne specimen of ancient
Roman architecture. Next to the Pan
hteon are the ruins of Themae, where
Agrlppa used to do the Judge Parker
act from morning till night. From all
accounts, it was the swellest batn
house In thu world.
"Then Nero came along a few years
after 'Gus.' and he was sore on all the
Emperors who had held down the job
ahead of him. All he done was to play
the fiddle and kick because Rome was
such a beautiful city. He set tiro to the
town and played 'Bonaparte Crosslrg
the Alps' while it was burning down.
The insurance , companies refused to
pay a cent, because the fire was Incen
diary, and that Is why the town Is full
of ruins to this day. The Chicago fire
wasn't a marker to It.
"Europeans have the tipping system
down fine. They'll take anything from
a ha'penny up. The tip goes with
everything, and I met few persons on
any trip who were above accepting a
shilling, a mark or a franc As the
'Bath House" said in his poem, written
on my departure for Europe:
In France and sunny Italx strange customs
you will And:
There every bloke Is holding out his "mlt "
From the garcon. dear Miguel, to the keeper
of the hotel.
Tou wfll And that one and all demand their
"bit."
'That was the truest thing John
ever wrote. I wonder where he got
the dope, for he was never across the
pond. Wherever you turn the tip is not
only expected, but In some parts of
Europe they'll throw you down and
take It away from you. When you leao
a hotel they stand in line to nail yea.
"They don't give you anything over
there. Not even a pretzel, unless yju
pay for It. I told a saloonkeeper in
Berlin that I put up a hot soup and
friend liver lunch that costs $23 a day
and he nearly fainted. Those European
saloon-keepers would have something
to talk about If they saw the courso
free lunches out on Ilnlsted street.
"1 haven't had a decent shave since I
left Chicago. You sit in a high, straight
back chair and they slop the lather on
your face like a billposter going over
a 12-sheet stand. I took a chance with
them on a hair-cut in Paris, and once
was enough. After that I let It grow
until I began to look like an anarchist.
Big Mike, the fellow who shaves me In
Chicago, ought to go over to Europa
and start a barbers college. One thing,
though, there ain't any lady barbers,
and that helps some. 1 am glnd I saw
Europe and saw It right; now I'm bet
ter able to appreciate my own country."
OREGON'S CURIOUS PLIGHT.
Sacramento (Cal.) Union.
The present case of Oregon In respect
to her1 representatives Is probably without
a precedent, and we hope that it will re
main without a parallel. The state Is
practically without representation at
Washington, except for tho single vote of
Senator Fulton. Senator Mitchell Is under
conviction for land frauds, and although
he may for the moment continue to hold
his position and to draw his salary, he
cannot take his scat nor cast a vote. Rep
resentative Hermann Is under many in
dictments for grafts, and Representative
Williamson, charged with the smc offense.
Is awaiting the result of his appeal.
Neithor of these men can vote, nor can
their places be filled unless they should
determine voluntarily to resign. The only
way out of the Impasse is through the
resignation of Williamson and Hermann,
but this need hardly be considered, as the
accused would probably argue that such
action on their part would be miscon
strued, and might militate against them
In the courts.
If Oregon is disposed to award any
blame In the matter It must be upon her
self, and she need not feel under any em
barrassing limitation as to the extent of
such blame. The fact that these men
were elected shows a most culpable care
lessness on the part of the electorate, and
an Indifference toward qualifications that
should have been supreme. Oregon, of
course. Is not alone. Other states also
have given the preference to "good fel
lows," and to hungry and unscrupulous
politicians. Instead of to real men. who
would have been diligent and conscien
tious in the public service. The results
have fallen upon Oregon with extraordi
nary concentration and force, but there
are other states that may well attribute
their escape if their escape Is yet assured
to good luck rather than to good citizen
ship. Even the Barber Sneered.
Minneapolis Tribune.
James Johnstone, the noted baseball
umpire, was the guest of honor at a re
cent banquet of baseball "fans." a ban
quet that wag a protest against Mr. John
stone's proposed retirement.
"A health to square Jim Johnstone, the
bravest umpire that ever called a strike."
the toastmaster said, and Umpire John
stone In his acknowledgment talked about
bravery.
"I am square," he said, "but I don t
pretend to be particularly brave. Square
ness by Itself will make a man a success
ful umpire. He has no groat need of
bravery on the diamond. Who. Indeed,
needs bravery overmuch? Even the sol
dier doesn't. Obedience and a sense of
pride will carry any soldier through.
"Sometimes I doubt if soldiers are ever
brave. I am like the barber who onco
shaved Sherman.
"This barber, in shaving Sherman, cut
him, and Sherman, as he buttoned his
collar at the operation's end. said with a
good deal of bitterness:
" You cut my ear. I won't come hero
again.'
"The barber sneered.
" 'And they say.' he muttered, 'that you
fought through four campaigns.' "
A Knotty Problem.
London Tit Bits.
She was a fair passenger in search
of information, and the captain was.
naturally, only too willing to gratify
her. He had explained that the action
of the propeller forced the ship through
the water, and added, as a further Item
of Informatlonr
"We made 20 knots an hour last night,
miss."
"Did you. really?" said the sweet girl.
"And whatever did you do with them
all?"
The captain went red and his eye
dilated.
"Threw them overboard," he said,
shortly.
"Fancy!" she said.
A