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About Morning Oregonian. (Portland, Or.) 1861-1937 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 26, 1905)
8 THE MORNING OKEGONIAN, TUESDAY, "'SEPTEMBER 26, 1905. : Catered t the Postofflce at Portland. Or., as eeeend-class matter. SUBSCRIPTION KATES. XNVAKIAMLY XN ADVANCE. iBy Mall or Express.) D&Jty and Sunday, per year f$2'S2 Dally Bind Sunday, sir months J. UaUf and Sunday, three months 3-53 "lly and Sunday, per month ItaUy vDUtotit Sunday, per year -; XMUly without Sunday, six months...... fva aUy without Sunday, three months... x.a L-ally without Sunday, per month Sunday, par yr r, Sunday, mx months buaUayi time months ttJ BY CARRIER. Daily without Sunday, per week.. Daily, per week. Sunday Included . TUB WEEKLY OREGONIAN. (Issued Every Thursday.) Weekly, pet yr ll Weekly, six months . ! Weekly, ihrea months.... ; ROW TO IllSaiXT Sand postofflee mon ey order, express, order or personal cheek on sow looal ak. Stamps, cola or currency ur at the t tinder's risk. EASTKRN BUSINESS OFFICE The b. C BcckwltU Special AKency-lsew York. rwHMs -5 Tribune bulldlne. oas. rMti S10-&1". Tribune bulldlnc. - KHPT ON SALE. CfeieagoAu-UriuM Annex. Postofflee Xe. Co.. 178 li-born atroot. 1).AN Tci. Globe Now Depot, 2W Main "stamp JnHns Black, Hamilton & " rick. pc-12 Seventeenth street: Pratt woo tor. 1214 Fifteenth atrooC HMm. Mtne. la-MoMi Jaoebs. 1 ,IlH 'boiftaM. Nov. F. Sandstrom: Guy Marsh. Knwuta Cite. Mb. Rlcksodkar Cigar L Mmh and Wakswt. L. An"- Harry Df-ankln: B K. Am" &U Wit IS tenth street; EMItord News Cm. MiHiMMtMll X. J. Xavanang. W South -UhuMl. O-JtM Featanw. 87 Stsporler ,lw Yerk City L. 3ma & Afttor MAUtUHtlr CM. 8f. J. Wl Tafler. 2" Kh Illinois ave. . . Osfclsni Onl. V. Jt Jeaaon. Fourteenth and Franklin -rd-eeta. OftOMt Goddard ft JUmto Mayers & OmmSm Barkaiow -. -- Par nam. Maroath Stationery Co.. IMS Facnam; 246 Snorei-miile. Cal. ocrajnewie News Co.. 4 K trtro t stall Uie Salt Lake Xews Co.. west ei-nd otreet ottth; Katlonal Xews Aeencj. Imr Kah B. K. Amw. mi rnHMiMW-J. K Coopr & Co- Market street; GoMamltli Bcos 2S Setter and Hotel St Francis Hrws . lv-r. Palace Hotel New Stand; F. . 1'ltts. l0fi Market: Frank Scott. S RlHs; N. lira ley Movable News Stand. orer Mar ket and Kearney street; Foatar & Oroar. F'rri' Ketrs Stand. . IamK Mh.--B. T. Jett Bok News Cnmptnv. WW lHve etreet. TTa fctwitl mi. I). C Bbbltt Hawe. Pena1 vania irrWM. iKTIJlNU. ""tI'JSSWAY, SK1TILMBKK 20. Tint CANNON'S OPKXINfi ROAR. Both political parties opened their fall campaign" in Ohio on the 23d day f Reptber. The Kepublican meeting van held at Bellefontalne. Great nsod. M It l reported, were present, and both Vice-.President Fairbanks and Governor Herriek, who h a candidate for re-el faction, made speeches. At the Democratic ' meeting:, in Newark, O.. John M Patteraon. who has been a member of Conffream and te now candidate for Governor, opposing Mr. flerricy. made the principal address. So far as the reports show. Mr. Patteraon avoided the iaetie. of tariff reform and- bad nothing to say about the burning National iaeae of the i-egvJatton of railroad charges- He confined himself tomakrag aome rather trite remark abooT bosses, which were, of oourse. aimed at Governor Herrtck. The Oovernor. aho evidently knows the weak places in his armor, expected thir attack, as he admits in his speech, and tried to parry It. no answer occur ring to him probably tm the spur of the moment. He resorts to Che ancient and somewhat threadbare argument that, whatever his own shortcomings may be, he still ought to lie re-elected tecause his defeat would lead to fur ther Democratic victories noxt year, and possibly to the embarrassment of President Roosevelt in hi noble work for the public good. Mr. Herrick's zeal for the future comfort of Mr. Roose velt is extremely touching and doubt leas sincere; but his. alarm is needless. No thins; is farther from, the Intention f fate thau a Democratic Congres sional victory in Ohio, even if Mr. Her rick should be defeated, as the Repub lican candidate for Governor of Minne sota was in the last election when all the rest of the ticket ran victoriously. But there is nothing in the character of Mr. Patterson, the Democratic can didate, to terrify Mr. Herrick. If one Wsy judge from his speech. He seems to be trying to make himself over into a I ale imitation of .Folk, and with only pasFiible success. The people may be trusted, at least in matters of this kind, to tell paste from genuine. Mr. Patter son's vln dilations of moral -splendor lark something of the real Fotkian and Jromtsh actinic power. "There can be no such thing." says he, with truth, one must admit, but scarcely with originality, "as a good hoes or an hon e?t boss in poUtics." Mr. Patterson may sparer himself 'such forensic efforts in the future. The people know all that without hip telling them. They are looking for something more than words from reformers in these unhappy days. And how will talk ef that kind sound in the ears of Mr. Gorman? It seems al most like a ' personal reflection by a frolditr upon the character. of his Gen eral. As for Mr. Fairbanks' remarks at Beilefontaine. they were what his re marks always are an amiable noise In lae air without any particular mean ing. If it has been the Vice-President's ambition to master the art of talking much and saying nothing, he Is to be congratulated upon having achieved his ambition far more completely than falls to the lot of moat men in the matter of their dearest hopes. In this speech he gyrates 'ponderously, not without wobbliass. around the great issues now before the people, but never touches one of them; and for this skill In verbal gymnastics he probably deserves some praise; but he may lay it to heart that this is not the kind of skill the Amer ican p eagle are looking for in their next Presiwfatt. PLACING TUB RHSPONSIBIUTY. A Portland preacher thinks that the society woman who offers liquor to any young man who has "given up the drink habit ought to be compelled to marry a drunkard and live with him until she had reformed him of the habit which Bhe would probably never do." No, she probably would Aft, for few drunkards are reformed by the mistaken young women who marry them with that fool ish notion in mind. But the young man who allows himself to be persuad ed to take a glass of wine by any mod ern Eve does not relieve himself at all of his own responsibility by making the Adam-like excuse that the "woman tempted him." He was never thor oughly reformed In the first instance if be permitted himself to be thrown off bis moi;plJbalance, there to remain, by the first slUy eraat'ure he happened -to oneeunter. whether In society or In a The man 'who cannot take a social" glass without danger of everlasting ruin has no business to be other than a total abstainer. Yet to abstain en tirely is no great virtue. It is simply good sense, prudence, a self-acknowledgment of one's own weakness, and a determination to avoid all risk. It is the exercise of the same qualities of foresight that one employs In every thing else, when he knows that intem perance, excess of any kind, the eating of foods that do not agree with him, the taking of drugs or other poisons, are attended with dangerous or painful consequences, and should be avoided. Abstinence Is the proper thing for you when you know that any other course is harmful, and for me. If I fear that I may stumble and fall in the gutter. But what s-hallwbe said of the creature who refuses thus to 'confess to himself his own frailty, and blames his fall on any chance female acquaintance who makes It possible for him to take his "first Drink"? MOUNTAIN CLIMBING UNPROFITABLE. Several carloads of wheat grown in the Big Bend country, in the north ern part of the State of Washington, have been received at Portland this season. Portland exporters have also received wheat from Rltzville and other points on the main lln of the Northern Pacific Railroad. The wheat in both cases was lifted over the Cascade Mountains, at heavy haulage .expense, dropped down to tidewater on Puget Sound, and thenVarrled on to Port land, 146 miles beyond Tacoma. This is an unnatural proceeding, and It Is needless to state that only a very small proportion of the wheat grown In the Big Bend country or along -the main Ae of the Northern Pacific ever teaches "ships tackle by such a roundabout and expensive route. Portland exporters quite naturally do not expect to do much business In a field at present so remote from their deep-water docks in this city. Any at tempt to move wheat to Portland by such a route, on the same big scale as It Is moved over the O. R. &. N., would In short order demonstrate the physical Inability of the railroad to handle It. That is the reason that Puget Sound dealers are practically alone in their glory in the Big Bend and the Northern Pacific's main line territory In Eastern Washington. The new road down the north bank of the Columbia River can not fall, however, to change the rout ing of a great many million bushels of wheat which for the present can find no easier route to tidewater than that leading over the Cascade Mountains. Mr. Levey, In his Interview wired The Oregonian from North Yakima yes tor- day, very guardedly and diplomatically stated that he did not see that the building of the north-bank route would have any special effect on Puget Sound. Continuing, he said: The new lino will make the railroad dlstanee to ItortteRd etaerter. In a 44 1 ten to the mileage that will be saved there wilt practteally be levef grade lata Portland, thu obviating: ythe heavy haul ever the mountains to Puget Sound with which we have to contend at pre out. AH the wheat grown along the main line ' of the Northern Pacific and Its branches In Oregon and Washington and In the marvelous Nez Perces coun tray. In Idaho, passes Kennewick, In its journey to tidewater. When the North ern Pacific completes Its line down the north bank of the Columbia to Port land, that wheat at Kennewick will be 248 miles distant from Tacoma, with the lofty Cascade Mountains to be climbed before It can reach there, and it will be less than 230 miles distant from Portland, with a down-stream, water-level grade oyer which a single engine can haul more loaded cars than can be hauled over the mountains with half a dozen engines. When this road Is completed It wnl be more economical for the railroads to haul -wheat down the Columbia to Portland and thence-on to Puget Sound, 146 miles farther than to lift it over the Cascade Mountains. The rate, as Mr. Levey says, will remain the same to both places, and there will be" just about as much wheat hauled through Portland to Tacoma as is now hauled through Tacoma to Portland. Puget Sound has extensive milling industries, which will require liberal supplies of wheat, and these supplies will be forth coming, buC with the exception of the field lying north of the Great Northern, the greater part of what is now Puget Sound territory will be drained out by way of the north-bank road, and even tually a north-and-south road through the Big Bend wHU bring it all out by a water-level route. REVOLT OF THE LANDLORD. Between race suicide anil hostile landlords, children of well-to-do people in New York City seem doomed to ex tinction. .First, we are told that women in the middle class, and above it, have decreed that children shall not be born to them, and this .startling announce ment is followed up by tlie landlords' decree that people who are so inconsid erate and unfashionable as to have chil dren even to the extent of one or two cannot buy their way, even by paying the most exorbitant rent. Into modern apartment-houses. Leaving the first question out of con sideration at this time, t may be asked, what is the matter with landlords? Are they all becoming churls, or are they In league with Mathews, and de termined, as far as In them lies, to stop the demand f$r dwelling-houses a gen eration or two hence? Or are they moving simply In the Interest and for the protection of their property? Or yet again. Is the determination to ex clude children from apartment-houses In the Interest of neighborly harmony and good will? The probable reasons for this attitude of landlords toward tenants with children may be found In the answer to the last two questions. Vory many parents neglect to restrain their children In the propensity to de face, Injure and destroy anything that comes In their way. It is easier to allow them to run riot over and through the house, marring walls, scratching paint anfl creating havoc generally, than It Is to train them to be careful In their movements- and to respect the property of the landlord. Hence the owners of houses have come to dread tenants with children and finally to refuse them utterly. This is one view. Another cause of this proscription of children in apartment houses is that quarrels arise between the children of different families who are practically housed together,-which not infrequently extend to the parents and make the place most undesirable for quiet, or derly people. .This may well be given as the land lord's storj, and there is much in it to justify his position in discriminating against tenants who have children. The remedy lies with the parents. True, It may be Impossible by means of tardy discipline to dispel the belief-that chll "dren are destructive little animals, and noisy and quarrelsome besides. But there Is still a sovereign -remedy for the condition of which complaint is made. It lies in what is known In well- regulated Institutions for the care of the Irresponsible as the "cottage sys tem." Why am one, and especially any one who has children, will live In an apartment-house, when with a little maneuvering he can become the owner or even the tenant of a, cottage In the suburbs, is a riddle that common sense refuses to attempt to solve. Even If the children are models of gentleness and good behavior, and the landlord is not disposed to shut them out of his grand apartment-houses. It Is cruelty to keep children pent up In rooms, away from the sunshine and the open air. Perhaps it needed this revolt of the landlords to awaken American parents to a sense of children's rights that Is embodied In cottage homes, at least a hand's breadth of playground, with sunshine or snowdrift, as the, season may provide, and outdoor air acces sible at-nil seasons. As charming a story as ever was told of a house full of children was tnus sung by Alice Cary: The bouse where I was born Low and little and black and eld. With children many as it could hold, AM at the windows open wide. With heads and ehoulders all outride. And fair young faces, all a-blush: Perhaps you may have seen sorae day , Rocs crowding the self same way Out of a wilding wayside bush. This is a truly delightful picture of Juvenile life In a cottage, even though the cottage was "low and little and black and old"; but fancy this plethora of child life In a modem apartment- house! ONE MILLION A WEEK. The Portland Consolidated Railway Is carrying more than 1,000,000 passengers per week. Its manager acknowledges as much. During the remainder of the Fair period these enormous figures will go to even greater proportions; but a maximum of a million a week will prob ably be the average from June 1 to Oc tobr 15, the life of the Exposition. That Is $50,000 per week taken In from the public in nickels, or more than $200,000 per month. The gross income of the Portland Consolidated during the Ex position will be at least $1,009,000. No one knows yet what the net Income will be, but that It will be at least $600,000, probably more. Is certain. Perhaps, after all, the "first families" made a mistake when they let go. even at the great price of $6,000,000. The street-car business Is by far the most important single Industry In Port land. No other compares with It. It overshadows everything else. It gets more from the public and pays less, proportionately, than any other. It pays In taxes a mere pittance; yet it has a franchise worth millions, and cer tain to grow more valuable every year. Surprise may well be felt that the rail road company acknowledges It is doing so well. But the public knows It has been carrying an enormous traffic, so doubtless It was thought best to own up to a million passengers a week. How many more? The public wants to know the exact facts, and It will know, so that a Just valuation may be placed on the company's franchise for purposes of taxation. Naturally, people are tired of paying fat dividends to Consolidated stockholders and Interest to the bond holders, and a large share of Its taxes besides. WHY DO STUDENTS GO ELSEWHERE? The Pendleton East Oregonian learns that out of thirty-five or forty students who have this year left Umatilla County for the purpose of attaining a higher education, twenty-three have entered schools In the State of Wash ington and about seven have enrolled themselves In Oregon Institutions. It quite naturally occurs to the Pendelton newspaper to Inquire why the average Eastern Oregon student prefers to leave his own state and pursue his studies at a foreign college. Whitman College, at Walla Walla, Is merely over the line from Umatilla County, and re ceives a part of the student emigration. but the fact of propinquity accounts In part only for the phenomenon. Suspen sion of the Normal School at Weston Is not a sufficient reason, for it Is a fact that more students have gone to the University of Washington at Seattle than to the State University of Oregon Indeed, next to Whitman, the Wash ington university has more Umatilla County students than any Institution In either state. Says the East Oregonian: That there mutt be seme advantages enjoyed by the Washington school eems evident. In the cane of the Whitman this might be attrib uted to Us proximity, and with the University of Washington to the faet that it la near large city. The Oregonian thinks It can supply a better reason for preference by Ore gon students for the Washington schools. It Is simply that the Institu tions are. as a class, superior to our own. State pride is not sufficient to hold our own students to our home institu tions If the educational advantages the latter have to offer are not at least equal to the advantages to be obtained elsewhere. The Oregon Legislature has for years made biennially appropxia tlons in the aggregate very large for Institutions of higher learning. It has. Indeed, gone to the extreme of generos ity in that direction, but it has made the mistake of distributing its appro prlatlons to various schools, with the result that there Is not a single Insti tution In the State of Oregon of the first rank. It Is true that, because of the liberal Government appropriation. the State Agricultural College at Cor vallls has attracted more students than any other college, and that It is doing good work; but other schools are, we think, below the standard of efficiency which they might attain if the state could afford to give them larger appro priations. It cannot afford them, and should not be called upon to do 1L If the normal schools were to be consoli dated. It Vould be possible to provide adequate equipment In faculty, appa ratus, buildings, curriculum and stu dents. We should have a school that would bear favorable comparison with any similar institution in the United States. The mistake we have made Is in attempting to place our normal school on the same basis as the richer and more popular states. We cannot do It. The State. University, with some thing over 200 students, has suffered severely by the distribution of th mate's money to a number of small in stitutions, and It has been injured, too. in point of attendance by Its location. If the State University were to be placed at Portland and united with the normal schools, It would be possible to build up here single magnificent institution of which every citizen of Oregon might well be proud. The Oregonian has no Idea that any suggestion of this kind will" ever' "be adopted, because of the clamor that tvould go up throughout the state that Portland Is trying to kill off the normal schools and the State University In order to revive them In one colossal Portland scheme. Yet The Oregonian Is not moved In this matter by any consideration for the benefit of Portland. It is sure that location at the metropolis would be tlie best thing for such, a school, but. as It has already said. It has no hope that it will be done. What, then. Is practical? It Is pos sible to consolidate the normal schools with the State University and. give them, by liberal appropriation, by Intel ligent and- sympathetic public Interest, and by united -effort from all quarters of the state, a prestige throughout the Northwest that will not only keep our students at home, but will attract stu dents from other states. There Is hope for the re-establlshment of the canteen In the Army. Officers are practically unanimous In demand ing It In the Interest of the general welfare of the enlisted men. Brigadier General Jesse M. Lee, commanding the Department of Texas. In his annual re port says: A well-regulated canteen, where beer and light wines may be sold, conserves discipline, controls and decreases drunkenntw and disor ders, leaaens absenteelro. and to that extent tends to reduce desertion. At least per cent of soldiers drink stimulant. The nw Jorlty drink moderately ofbeer and light wlnca when they can get these beverages. A minor ity drink strong Itauors. and usually only a email percentage drink to exc6w more or less frequently. General Frederick Grant says the same thing, and Is corroborated by nearly every other department com mander. Military men are of the opin ion that Congress -will not disregard their recommendations. The Bankers' Magazine, In Us Sep tember Issue, criticises severely the as saults made on the Federal bankruptcy law by resolutions passed at recent conventions of bankers. It holds that the law has for Its main and permanent objects the removal of artificial temp tatlons to dishonesty In business, the Improvement ot conditions relating to credit, and the safeguarding ot small creditors as well as of debtors not in trlnslcally Insolvent, but liable to be forced into Insolvency under a system which encouraged summary proceed insrs for the collection of debts. These objects are as desirable now as they were when the National bankruptcy law was enacted. Every business man knows that a uniform and reasonable law relating to bankruptcy makes for greater commercial security. The public schools opened yesterday with a notable Increase In attendance. for the first day, of pupils In all the grades. The assignment of teachers has been carefully made, additions have been completed to several school houses, and throughout the district the school property has been renovated and, where necessary, refitted. Verlta ble hives of Industry, literally swarm ing with life, will these school buildings be from now until next June an exem plification of public generosity and of educational spirit and thrift. The pub lic Is to be congratulated upon the har mony of effort that sets Its school ma chinery In motion with precision and Intelligence. Teachers and pupils have had a long and a pleasant vacation, and all are ready and many anxious to resume work. The harvest Is post and the Summer is ended. Even the hops are housed; school has opened, taking the children In out of the wet; and the blessed rain Is falling, with Its promise of next season's abundance. Portland day at the Fair Is yet to be. but all good Oregonl ans have faith that the rain will cease, by special dispensation, for that day. or. falling In this, that not one of the 100.000 visitors pledged for that day's entrance to the Fair grounds will fall to take his or her umbrella, sally forth and "make good." There Is Justice behind the plea of a number of East Side property-owners for the reopening of East Ash and East Ankeny streets, some time since Closed and now occupied by the Standard Box Factors plant. There Is, It Is believed. no excuse in municipal law for the pres-J ent use tvhlch Is made of these streets, and means will be taken to have them vacated by the corporation now having sole use of them, and reopened for the benefit of the public Rev. Mr. Haynes, now of Seattle, af ter profound reflection and personal In vestigation, concludes that the half fare railroad rebate to clergymen Is all wrong. And he makes bold to say so. The process of conversion was painful, but effective. However. Mr. Haynes has no objection to his half-rate permit being restored. Yet, being a Baptist, we should think. he would prefer to . V... For the remainder of this week the President will devote much time to his next message. No hint Is given in the press dispatches as to his topics, but The Oregonian violates no confidence when It declares that he will have something to say. And It will be said so clearly that no one will mistake his meaning. This city has witnessed spasms of offi cial virtue many times and oft It 'has never yet, however, been able to reduce the number of scarlet women or the number of men who visit them by hal ing the catch of an official dragnet be fore the Municipal Court. The Norwegians are to demolish the fortifications at Gyldenloeve, Overj bergel, Weder. HJelmkollen, OerJe, as well as Kroksund and Dingsrud. .Nat urally places with such formidable names need no fortifications. It looks as It everybody who attends Chairman Baker's peace conference Is for peace. Republicans who are accus tomed to go around with chips on their shoulders will please stay away or bury the chips. Russia may be licked., but after, all her example lives after her. See latest news from Pekln. , Four more days, and then Portland Day. It ought to be easy to make It 100,000. Had 295 Living Descendants. Exchange. A century ago there died In Jamaica a woman named Mills. Her age was given as US, and she was followed to the grave by 295 of her children, grandchildren; great-grandchildren and great-great-grandchildren no fewer than '60 otl,-whora. all named Ebanks, belonged to"-the regiment of militia for St. Elisabeth's' Parish- " OREGON OZONE Prof. William Benjamin Smith, of NewJ Orleans, predicts the utter extinction ot the negro race in the United States. Some of the southern states have been working toward that end every time they could find a convenient tree or a pile of cord- wood handy. An eastern critic calls Marie Corelll's latest book "thirty scoldings," the au thor having divided it into thirty chapters and named It "Free Opinions." Mlsa Co relli calls Eve accurst and Adam a cow ard: to nor. wealth Is vulgar instead of tainted, clothes are more or less a mere madness, and the dally press Is "a red rag." It becomes us to defend only the dally press, whereof we are a humble part. Probably the dally press has been flaunted in the face of Miss Corelll In a manner to cause nor wrath. You know that when you flaunt a red rag In the face of a bull but, pardon us, Mlsa Co relll is a lady. Pastor Charles Wagner, of simple life renown, has written a book of advice for children. Of course he urges the culti vation of th simple life. As that other distinguished preacher. Dr. Theodore Roosevelt, advocates the strenuous life, will the postofflee department be called upon to suppress the circulation of Pas tor Wagner's book?, Down in Arkansas the only yellow peril Is "fever 'n ager," for the natives. For trespassers in that secluded state there Is another sort ot yellow peril at the front gate of every homestead a "yallor dog," such as 'grows nowhere else. .Truthful .Tames Talcs. The Truthful James Club met as usual last night In its rooms on Morrison street, with a full quorum present. A quorum, be it understood, is a quorum, and a full quorum Is a full quorum. Note the nice distinction. Perhaps the fullest part of the quorum was the Most Depraved, who our temperance friends will be glad to know was merely full of stories. Did you fellows ever hoar about that expedition of mine down into Josephine County." began the Irrepressible: "that time thirteen of u " "Don't tell that story; the number Is unlucky," cut in the Incredulous Youth; "besides, nobody will believe it," Here tke Moat Depraved found his open ing, and he broke loose without delay: "I don't believe I ever told you about the time when I was a trainer ot circus animals, did I? No? Well, for several years I was la that business. My parti cular hobby was In developing athletic talent in dumb brutes. I once trained an elephant so that he could walk three steps without stepping on his own feet, and I put three-humps on a-i(t wo-humped camel by making the beast get a hump on himself." ' "Time for a game," said tho Card Crank. "But the most Interesting experiment I over made," resumed tho Most Depraved, secreting the deck of cards In his own pocket, "was when I trained the Puget Sound fleas and the New Jersey mosqui toes to do a broad-Jump stunt. That really was a " "Let us arise and sing the Doxology," the Incredulous Youth remarked, sol emnly, i "As I swas saying," wont on the Most Depraved, "that was mighty interesting to me. As a matter of fact, It should have been1 of interest to the whole scienti fic world, but for some inexplicable rea son the scientific world, either wholly or in part. decHnctl to become interested. You see. there had been a dispute be tween a Seattle man and a man from Trenton. N. J.. as-Io the jumping quali ties of the flea and the mosquito. Ot course each man held out for his own jumper, and suddenly the Idea struck me that the only way to determine the ques tion was by arranging a contest between a trained flea and a trained mosquito. Bright Idea, wasn't it?" "Not half as bright as the one I had" began the Irrepressible, but the MostfDe- praTcd quelled him with one calm glance and proceeded: "So I went to New Jersey and got a choke collection of mosquitoes, and I went to Seattle and got a similar collec tion of fleas. The job was easy; In Jer sey I robbed a drunkard, and In Seattle I robbed a dog. My plan was to put large number of the jumpers through their exercises, so as to determine the best In each class, killing off the incompc tent ones. That, you know. Is the Bur- bank method. I was aware that many splendid specimens of both fleas and mos quitoes must be sacrificed; but In the sa cred cause ot science shall we quail at that? Besides, there are plenty more where the unfortunate ones come from "Well, I suppose I must have sacrificed at least 9MK mosquitoes and a like number of fleas before I found the specimens that were up to the required standard. Fin ally I found the best jumper that ever signed his pedigree In the flea family rec ords, and the liveliest mosquito that ever frolicked on the proboscis of a booze fighter. By a diligent system of dieting and exereise. I gradually developed the two contestants into tiptop condition, and then I got the Seattle man and the Tren ton man together and Unfolded my pro position. Each man was to bet a certain considerable sum. one-third of the win nlngs to go to me. I was sure to win. In any ovent; but then It was due me. for the brilliant idea was mine and mine alone." The Most Depraved paused for admlra Hon, but the Incredulous Youth emitted a snore. Then the M. D. resumed: "The jumping contest was all arranged. and we had a large crowd of spectators, whp paid two-bits apiece to watch the contest. There were present, I think. exactly persons." "How on earth could that many per sons see a jumping contest between a flea and a mosquito?" asked the Incredu lous Youth. "We furnished a microscope with each ticket. The gate receipts were to be di vided evenly between the . three of u. But, alas! wc had to .pay bask the gate money, fer the contest never come off." "Of course It didn't," said the Inredu- lous. "No; Just as we turned the contestants loose In the arena a measly stray dog wandered along, and the flea, true to his Instincts, hopped onto tho cur and rode out of the hall. If It hadn't been for that miserable dog " "Whose deal?" asked the' Card Crank. ROBERTUS LOVE. Generosity. Tales. Beggar Pardon, sir, but this nickel you rave me is lead. Benevolent Old Man Why. so It !sl WelL keep It. my man, as a reward for your honesty. A New Alphabet.' Judge. Mother (who is -teaching her the " alphabet:) Now, dearie, comeSj ; after "g"? , .: ' . The Child WhlzzI child what; f - ROOSEVELT'S COLORADO BEAR HUNT The President Write of Horseback Several of His Dead Shots Dog - Scrlbner's. It was a great, wild country. In the creek bottoms there" were a good many ranches; but we only occasionally passed by these, on our way to our hunting grounds In the wilderness along the edge of the snow-line. The mountains crowded close together In chain, peak and table- i land; all the higher ones were wrapped I . . . . . - tt in an unrentsnroua ol snow. e a good many deer, and fresh sign ot elk. but no elk themselves, although we were informed that bands were to be found In the high spruce timber where the snows were so deep that It would have been im possible to. go on horseback, while, going on foot would have been Inconceivably fatiguing. The country was. open. The high peaks were bare of trees. Cotton woods, and occasionally dwarfed birch or maple and willows, fringed the streams; .aspens grew In groves higher up. "the dogs had been after a sullen, pow erful bear for a number of hours, and as there was no water on the mountain-side we feared they might be getting ex hausted, and rode toward them as rapldly as wc could. It was a hard climb up to where they were, and we had to lead the horses. Just as we came In sight of the bear, across a deep gully which ran down the sheer mountain side, he broke bay and started off. threatening the foremost of the pack as they dared to approach him. They were all around him, and for a minute I could not fire; then as he passed under a plnon I got a clear view of his great round stem and pulled the trigger. The bullet broke both his hips, and he rolled downhill, the hounds yelling with excitement as they closed In on -him. He could still play havoc with the pack, and there was peed to kill him at once. I leaped and slid down my side of the gully as he rolled down his; at the bot tom he stopped and raised himself on his fore Quarters: and with another bullet I broke his back between the shoulders. Immediately all the dogs began to worry the carcass, while their savage baying echoed so loudly In the narrow, steep gully that we could with difficulty hear one another speak. It was a wild scene to look upon, as we scrambled down to where the dead bear lay on his back be tween the rocks. He did not die wholly unavenged, for he had killed one of the terriers, and six other dogs were more or less Injured; the chase of the bear Is grim work for the pack. , Jim. usually a vory wary fighter, had a couple of deep holes In his thigh; but the most mishan dled of the wounded dogs was Shorty. With his usual dauntless courage he had gone straight at the bear's head. Being such a heavy, powerful animal, I think if he had been backed up he could have held the bear's head down, and prevent ed the beast from doing much Injury. As It wns, the bear bit through the side of Shorty's head, and bit hini In the shoul der, and again In the hip. Inflicting very bad wounds. Once the fight was over. Shorty lay down on the hillside, unable to move. When we started home we put him beside a little brook, and left a piece of bear meat by him. a"s It was obvious we could not get him to camp that day. Black bear are not, under normal con ditions, formidable brutes. If they do charge nnd get home they may maul a man severely, and there are a number ODD BITS OF NORTHWEST LIFE Sad Error of Uncle Billy. Grass Valley Journal. We understand that "Uncle" Billy Curry got hold of the wrong bottle on Wednesday morning and took a couple of swallows of formaldehyde. Judge Bill Galloway In Action. Albany Democrat. An old Indian, who was a -witness be fore Judge Galloway, in Yamhill Coun ty,, after testifying, remarked to the Judge, whom he had known, as well as his fa thee, for years: "That's the God's truth. Bill." And the genial Judge didn't try to stop the laughter that followed. Jim Cooke and Ills Brothsr Bill. Condon Globe. Jim Cooke Is somewhat worried this week on account of the absence of his brother, R. W., at the big- Portland Fair. Jim rather expects that Bill will lose himself on the Trail for keeps, and Is willing to bet money that he will never again see the new solid leather grip he loaned his brother to take with him. He -says It Is a cinch Bill will leave that grip on the seat the first time he changes cars. False Rumor Run to Earth. Baker City Herald. It ivas rumored yesterday that the O. R. & N. was going to put in three-, new ties and a frog In the local switch yards. Realizing the error of our ways in the past on railroad news, we de termined to follow the example set by the only authoritative railroad sheet In the state, and accordingly we tele phoned Mr. J. P. O'Brien, the Oregon boy. whom to know is to love, and re ceived the following, which made us feel as If an annual pass wasn't so far off, after all: "No truth In the rumor as to frog. Ties correct." There you are- Having Fun With a Whale. Port Orford Tribune. While dragging the bay last week for a lost anchor, George Forty and his son Robert had a remarkable adven ture with a whale, which In Its open mouth charge into a school of flsh got the line In its mouth, and. not being used to such a bit, the whale got frightened and In one of Its wild rushes came near upsetting the boat. George threw the -100-foot line overboard In a hurry, and tried to hold onto the end, but let go quickly when the strain came. The frightened whale rushed seaward, and, as it took some time for so much line to slide through Its mouth, its fright increased to such an extent that it leaped into the air. swam half out of water, and no doubt Is going yet at top speed. Children Loaned, Not "Born."' North American. The following- remarkable birth no tice was recently printed In a London (England) newspaper: JONES At Cae-Clawdd, Sander stead, "Surrey, to Mr. and Mrs. William Roger Jones, the loan of a son (Victor Rowlatt). Inquiry made of the father elicited an explanation no less remarkable than the notice. "Children," said Mr. Jones, "are lent by God to1 those whom he may. select for the office of parentage. My wife and "myself are'agreed that our son is only lent to us by the "Divine Master, and that It is our duty to educate him for God's service as a medical mission ary, or In some other capacity in which he may serve hi3 Maker." Dublin at a Discount. Tatler, London. A squad of raw recruits were being drilled by an Irritable drill sergeant, The command, "Double!" was given, and all the men. obeyed with the exception of one. who remained standing still and gazing vacantly around. "Why. man. you don't seem to know anythln' about doublln," roared the Irate sergeant. A, gleam of comprehension passed over the face of the recruit as he replied;. "No, sorr; I'm a Cork man '' Trips After Sport in the Open Life Sparrows Disreputable ofinstances on record in which they have killed men. Ordinarily, however., a black bear will not charge home, though he may bluster a gocd deal. I once shot one very close up which made a most lament able outcry, and seemed to lose its head. Us efforts to escape resulting In Its bounc ing about among the trees .with such heedless hurry that I was easily able to kill It, Another black bear, which I also shot at close quarters, came straight for my companions and myself, and almost ran over the white hunXer who was with me. This bear made no sound whatever when I first hit it, and I do not think it was charging. I believe it was simply dazed, and by accident ran the wrong way. and so almost came Into collision with us. However, when It found Itself face to face with the white hunter, and only four or five feet away. It prepared for hostilities, and I Fhlnk would have mauled him if I had not grained it with another bullet: for I was myself standing but six feet or so to one side of It. None of the bears shot on this Colorado trip made a sound when hit; they all died silently, like so many wolves. Ordinarily, my experience has been that bears were not flurried when I suddenly came upon them. They Impressed me as If they were always keeping In mind the place toward which they wished to re treat in the event ot danger, and for this place, which was Invariably a piece of rough ground or dense timber, they made off with all possible speed, not seeming to lose their heads. Frequently, I have been able to watch bears for some time while myself unob served. Wlthother game I have very often done this even when within close range, not wishing to kill creatures need lessly, or without a good object; but with bears, my experience has been that chances to secure them come so seldom as to make It very distinctly worth while improving any that do come. - Both Shorty and Skip could climb tre3. and although Skip was too light to tackle a bobcat by himself. Shorty, a heavy, formidable .dog. of unflinching courage and great phystcal strength, was altogether too much for any bobcat. When we reached the place we found the bobcat In the top of a plnon, and Shorty steadily working his way up through the branches and very near the quarry. Evidently, the bobcat felt that the situation needed the taking of desperate chances, and Just be fore Shorty reached it out it Jumped, Shorty yelling with excitement as he plunged down through the branches after It. But the cat did not jump far enough. One of the hounds seized It by the hind leg. and In another second everything wa3 over. The thing that interested me most In the way of bird life was something I saw lh Denver. To my delight. I found that the huge hotel at which we took dinner was monopolized by the pretty, musical house finches, to the exclusion of the ordi nary city sparrows. The latter are all too plentiful In Denver, as In every other city, and as always are noisy, quarrelsome In short, thoroughly unattractive and disreputable. The house finch, on the con trarv. Is attractive In looks. In song and In ways. It was delightful to hear the males singing, often on the wing. SPIRIT OF NORTHWEST- PRESS Vancouver Better Stay There. Vancouver Columbian. A deep-water harbor, an electric street railway system and two transcontinental railroads! Vancouver Is certainly going some. Friends for 3Iany Years.. Lewlston Tribune. It looks now as though the Portland people are extending a cheerful" hand to revive the old friendship that was formed nearly a half century ago between the Oregon metropolis and Lewlston. Have Interests In Common. Lewlston Interstate News. It Is -cry fitting for Portland and Lew lston to act In conjunction In the devel opment of the Lewlston country. These cities will be closely connected when the open river and railroad on the water gra.des arc completed. But $30,000 Biennially for 3Iany Years Does. Independence Enterprise. The Oregonian thinks no one in the same county with a State Normal School should have anything to say as to Port land's way of spending the $150,000 ap propriation for the Lewis and Clark Fair. But $30,000 don't balance against $450,000. Nobody Says It Xqw. Hood River Glacier. Watch Portland boom the next few years. The Lewis and Clark Exposition has made the city known far and wide, and now two great transcontinental rail roads have determined to make that city their Pacific Coast terminal. Who said there would be a big slump after the Fair? Benefit to the Whole State. Tillamook Headlight, Some of the country newspapers, out ot jealousy perhaps, call it a Portland fair. It Is nothing of the kind. The Fair will be the means of bringing many thousand new settlers Into Oregon, and we do not fear contradiction when we say that eventually every county In the state will be Increased In population as a result of the Fair, and every town as well will be benefited with Increased business. Pants Inspire Awe and Reverence. North Yakima Democrat. In the log cabin used by Theodore Roosevelt In his cowboy days, and now on exhibition In the North Dakota ex hibit at the Lewis and Clark Fair, hang a pair ot "chaps," a pair ot trousers, and other articles of clothing said to have been used by the man who Is now President, while engaged In roughing It on the Western plains during the middle '80s. It Is rather amusing to stand back and watch the apparent reverence with which visitors, especially the ladles, handle the President's cast-off panta loons. Without doubt, Teddy has touched the heart of the nation with his strenu ous race-suicide theory. Emperor William, Up to Date. Exchange. The German Empress Is an early riser, and alts down to breakfast with the Emperor, Winter and ' Summer, punctually at 8 A. M. At 1 o'clock the imperial couple dine with their chil dren. Guests are seldom Invited to this midday meal, and when they are they are treated quite en famille. The Empress is exceedingly fond -of chil dren, of all sorts and conditions, and when she is staying in the country she often stops her carriage at the sight of a group ot children and allows them to climb Into It In search of the bon--bons which she carried with her for the delectation of any little one she may meet. The French Proofreader. N'bw Orleans Times-Democrat. "The animal had a blaze face." read the notice. "Mon Dleu, the ignorance of men!" ex claimed the French proofreader. Whence It resulted 'that the next morn ing the owner was advertising" for a lost cow with a "blase" faa1" f