!CHE MORITING OREGONIAX. THUKSDAY, BEPTE3tBEB 21, 1905. . ,A ... Entered at the Postotflce at Portland. Or, reeond-elass matter. SUBSCRIPTION RATES.' IKVA1UABLY IK ADVANCX. (Br Hall or Express.) Dallr and Eundar. per year Ottlj- and Sunday, six months....... Qallv m nil Kunilir. thr months..... $8.00 6.M 2-J3 Dally and Sunday, per month. ......... -W Dally without Sunday, per year Dally without Sunday, alz months 8.B0 Dally -without Sunday, three month... uaiiy without Sunday, per monia Sand, per year. .. ............. suncay. aix xnontns. Sunday, three montha. .63 BT CAHItlER. Dally without Sunday, per weelc . Dally, per week. Sunday inciuaea.....; THE WXEKX.T OREGONIAN. Claeued Ererr Thuraday.) Weekly, per year - Weekly, rlx months -TO tfrklv fhr tnnntha ............. &D lIOV"' TO REMIT Send poitoMce money order, express order or personal check on your local hank. Stamps, com or curroacj are at tha sender's risk. EASTERN BUSINESS OFFICE, The 6. C Beckwllh Special Agency Nijr Terk. rooms 43-50 Tribune fcuuaing, cage, rooms- 510-512 Tribune building. KEPT OX 8AIX. Chi Chlufro Auditorium Annex. Postofflce. Xcwa Oe.. 1Tb Dearborn street. Dalian. Tex Globe News Depot. 260 Main llmiw Tullua Tllnrlr. Hamilton & Knd stole WS-S12 Seventeenth street: Pratt Book Blare. 1214 Fifteenth street. Ics Moines. la. Moses Jacobs, 309 Firth Kreet. Geldflrid. "er. F. Sandstrom; Guy Marsh. Kantian City. Mo. Rlckseoker Cigar Co Ntsnh and Walnut. I Anjrrlps Harry Drapkln; B. E. Amos. U WsM Seventh ittreot: Dlllard isews w Minnetanolls M. J. Kavanauch. CO South Third Cleveland. O. James Tushaw. 807 Superior Mreet. Nir York Cltr L. Jones &-Co.. Astor Attest Ic City, . J. Ell Taylor, 207 North I moots ave. Oakland. Cal. W. H. Johnston. Fourteenth m4 FraitkliB otreets. Ocra (SoMard &. Karroo and Meyers & Mimrraa. n V. He-lle. Omaha Rarkaiew Bros.. 1C12 Farnam: Xaatk Stationery Co.. 1S0S Farnam; 240 Bawth 14th. Sacramento, Cal. Sacramento News Co., 4 K nrwL raW J.ke Salt Lake News Co..77 West 8ewi4 nre-et South: National News Agency. Yottewrtone Park, Vyo. Canyon Hotel, Xjakr Hotel. Yellow ntone Park Assn. Ixmr- lira Mi B. E. Amos. fcn- l'rancisco -J. K. Cooper & Co., 746 Mark: street; Goldsmith Bros.. 230 Sutter a4 HI1 St Francis News Stand; I K. I. Palace Htl News Stand; F. V'. Pitts. NfS Market; Frank Scelt. SO Ellis; N. WlMMtley Movable News Stand, corner Mar fee aad Xoarney streets; Foster & Orear, "Ty Nw Stand. M. IhU. Mo. E. T. Jett Book & News Coenpaay. 8 OUve street. Washington. I). C. Ebbitt House, Pennsyl- TO RTLAND.' THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 21. SHALL FARMERS ORGANIZE? From the beginning of time farmers Imve keen the butt of universal rldl ste and the unresisting victims of phmder. The Bafbylonian lords built tte palaces xnd temples of their fa wsowr city with wealth wrung: without reqtiltal from the farmers who tilled their Irrigated lands in the plains of the Separates. The Kings of Egypt Jtogged the farmers of the Nile from their com fields to build the pyramids, which became the tombs, not alone of the mummied monarchs. but of hun dreds of thousands of their hapless sub jects. The Roman farmers were the perennial debtors, and, In all but name. we staves of their patrician landlords, Tie wretchedness of the farmers of Medieval Europe has become a byword of history. Their misery In France was :e lrlnc4pRl cause of the great Revo ifcon. Their present misery in the vmmt Russian Empire portends a cata clysm as terrible as the one that de stroyed feudalism in Western Europe At the close of the eighteenth century. language itself has Joined in the unl wsal unktndness to farmers. The wmns which have designated their call ing in successive ages have Invariably degenerated to terms of contempt. A villain was originally a man who tilled the soil; so was a boor. Now the first word implies moral depravity, the sec ond low manners and stupidity. "It Is meat and drink to me to see a clown, aia Touchstone, and by clown he meant farmer. What justification there may have been in the past for this Ill- treatment of those who make their llv log from the land it is not necessary now to tiiscuss. All human callings nave had low beginnings. The physi cian was originally a charlatan: the yrleet was the medicine man of naked savages. The important fact is that larmtng has now become an intellectual calling. Its pursuit requires high spe cial training in physics, chemistry and "botany, and the more a farmer knows of law. economics and political science the better he will prosper. His calllpg has "been subdivided into specialties, like medicine and law; and as we have and ear specialists among physi cians, and among lawyers men who give all their attention to some partic ular and very narrow "bit of dexterity, such as drawing up indictments, so among farmers there are those who cul tivate nothing else than potatoes or ap ples and who have carried their art to the acme of skill. , Five centuries ago the whole human race were the helpless victims of the uncertainties of what was called Na ture, or Providence. Men were the eOaves of Nature. They neither under stood her laws nor hoped to master her forces. Now they have done both. Sci ence has subjected the law of Nature to the human Intellect, and inventors have harnessed her forces to machines to do our work. If we are now just as much the slaves of the machines as we formerly were of theVorces which the machines have subdued, that Is be cause the Intelligence of the race has solved physical problems faster than economic ones. We have learned how t produce wealth; we have not learned how to distribute It. Over the problem of distribution of the wealth it has on hand, so that every roan shall have his fair share, the world stands stupid and' baffled today, exaoily as the United States Govern ment -was baffled by the problem of setting supplies to Its soldiers in Cuba. The supplies were there, carloads and shiploads of them. A few miles away the soldiers were starving in the field and dying In "hospitals for want of them; the Government was utterly un able to distribute what It had to the men -who needed It. So the -whole world sits today paralyzed into stupidity be fore the problem of getting the wealth it has on hand to those who are starv ing for lack of it and to whom it right fully belongs. . The wealth the world produces, not quite all of It, but pretty nearly all, , 'accumulates in the hands of those who transport and of those v,'ho make a business of buying and selling. Frank Norrls, at the end of that great book, "The Octopus," blenching from the righteous philosophy of his earlier chapters, says that it is the operation of natural law nvhlch gives everything to the railroad company which trans ports, and little or nothing: to the' farm er who produces. Butit is not natural law; It Is human stupidity and Indo lence yielding to immoral greed. Our railroads and trusts are playing1 In new way the ancient and Iniquitous game of robbing the tiller of, the soil of the fruits of his labor; and the farm ers have not yet discovered how to pro tect themselves. Organization is the great secret; but the farmer has only begun to learn 1U By the last census there were ten and one-half millions of people in the United States engaged in agricultural occupations. If they were organized as the steel trust Is, they could absolutely dominate the pol Icy of "the Nation. They could nwfke and uniriake constitution?. Laws wou!d be putty In their hands, as they are now in the hands of the trusts. The Federal Courts would tremble before them as they never shook before threatening 'railroad president Polit ical parties would hasten to take their orders. They would get Ipgislatlon which means somethlng When the farmers grow Intelligently alive to their own welfare and go about in modern ways to look after their In terests,. . they will become, as they ought to be, from their numbers and the fundamenta'l Importance of their occupation, the dominant class of the country. The new organization called the American Society of Equity, which purposes to unite the fanners of the Middle West, and perhaps of the Na tion, and affiliate with the American Federation of Labor, may or may not succeed in doing what the Fanners' Al liance, the Patrons of Husbandry and the local organizations of hopgrowers and producers of fruit have accom plished only In part. Economically the farmers are capitalists rather than la borers, though generally not on the -largest scale. It must be confessed, and their interests would- not seem to lie entirely with those of an organization. liKe the American Federation; but of that they must Judge for themselves. rri f . i . .... -Luejr yresem isolation ana neipiessness before their shearers is bad for them ana oau ior me nation. Tne sooner they come Into a position to protect themselves and assert their rights, the better for us all. PROHIBITION AND TEMPERANCE. John Pierce SL John is r-Oo-rnnr of Kansas, and he has neen ex-Go ver nor a very long time. He is no longer tnuch considered there; but Kansas is getting along without him somehow and with prohibition somehow. This is not to say that St. John is especially to olame for being a Has Been. There are others, many others, and they be long to all parties. But there is a cer tain kind of men who live along in the dim luster of a conspicuous and more or less useful past, and St. John is one of them. He is an In terestlng and voluble reminiscence of the Kansas of the early '80s, which Is not the Kansas of today. Kansas is still In -the reform business; but It Is not of the St. John kind; it is of the Roosevelt brand of reform. It has a Governor who is doing much to solve the vital problems that perplex Kan sas and the Nation. His name is Ed ward W. Hoch, and he Is a Republican He defeated the Republican machine. iiut iu ruui me oooaiers. Ana was a potent factor In Kansas' great fight against the Standard Oil octopus. He got 186,731 votes in 1904. despite the ef forts of Democracy andof one James Iverr. prohibiUoniPt. Kerr got 65S4 votes, which shows how much attention the people of Kansas pay to ex-Gov ernor St. John. It shows, too. Just how much the St. Johns of Kansas are doing for the emancipation of the people of that state from the grip of the organ ized enemies of the Republic The tac tics the Prohibition party adopted in Kansas it pursued with great activity and persistence last November in Wis consin, Illinois, Indiana and Missouri; and, If they had had their way. the public would have lost the services of LaFolIette, Deneen, Hanly and Folk: and In the country at large President Roosevelt met the determined and un reasoning hostility of this same nolsv band that is determined at all hazards, no matter what the perils of the Nation from foes without or Its distresses from foes within, to smash somebodv nr something. The organization now holdinsr Its sbh- slons in Portland is th T.nwlc an CJark World's Fair Temperance Con gress. It purports to reoresent th tempepance sentiment of the United States. But it does not. The Prohibi tionists have monopolized Its sessions and have given the whole proceedings me siamp or weir impossible and mis chievous fad. The Woman's Christian Temperance Union, the Young Worn- ens Temperance Union, the Baptist Young People's Union, the Christian Endeavorers, the Epworth Leamie "and similar worthy orranlzatl have a nominal partln the Conrres. and have actually little influence in its deliberations, ought not to be surprised mat tne putrilc has come to regard pronioition" and temperance" as syn onymous terms. GROWTH OF NEW YORK CITT. In New York, the newspapers are awaiting with impatience the final fig ures of the state census made last Sum mer. Jt is admitted that thev win b lamentably Imperfect. As stated a few days since, statistical writers are agreed that the population of the state is about 8,000,000, of which number a little more than half are contained in Greater New York. Based on the calculation that the rate of increase for the next five years shall be the same as during the first nve years of this decade, the World presents the following table of esti mated population In 1910; Area. iftoo. ior rVA City total ..3.4S7.202 4.140.C22 0.5 4.0fl.000 Manhattan l.BOU.WM 2.12i.e08 14.6 2 435.000 1.106.682 1.8M.8P8 IfU 1 BTZOO0 200.507 S50.601 75 S13.000 152.P09 233.498 53.3 358000 67.021 77.016 14.7 Brooklyn Bronx . .' Queens . , Richmond These -figures are amazlnc. Nm York grew 37 percent in the last decade of the last century. Spurred hv th beginnings of rapid transit, it bids fair io grow 45 per cent or more in tho first decade of the present one. At the time of the opening of the subwav th World, from figures then available, es- umatea that Ne' York should over take the County of London by or before 1912. Uslnir the don's growth as established by the last census to estimate Its 1911 Donul&Hon there is this prospect: T-rm. , 1S9L 1901. 1911. 4. iccniu . left.). The countr 4 2ii r.m nri j V-i AZ. Metropolitan dUt. .3,033.806 eClS 7.'C70.000 The World adds: Owlnj to condition of buslnea dullnixm snA industrial unemployment In the Rrit! o.. ltal, Ixwidon la leu likely -than New York to maintain lt present indicated msth th. chances, are that New Tork -will County of Ixmdon , before ljo, and that the tw square miles or the English Metropolitan fliatrlct will lonp before 1830 have en passed by an equal area containing New Tork. Tonkers and the near-by Jersey cities, which afford the only fair comparison. Curiously, the Chicago Record-Herald, using the same figures for the pur pose of ' prediction, sees a-still larger in crease in population. It says: If. however, there ia such an Increase as S2S.C20 la Ave years, which Is one of the claims that are made, the record-breaklnr Is wonderful Indeed. Tor this Is at the rate of about 24 per cent In the half decade, and the Increase between 1890 and 1900 was only 3S per cent. Furthermore In coins' back to the decade between 1SS0 and 1S90, the percent age was ttill .smaller, so that we hare a steady Increase of percentages or a re-ersal of the natural order In such a large city. On this showing our own calm judgment Is that the rate between 1910 and 1920 wil) be 100 per cent, and that the population at the lat ter date will be about 12.000.000. There is no doubt that the remarkable ratio of Increase in the past five years Is due In great part to the unprecedent ed Immigration. It is not likely that the ipfluxbf people from Southern Eu rope Is going to keep up for ten or fif teen years at the present rate. Perhaps it will be safer to discount the enthusi astic figures of the newspapers. ONE MORE BOX ORDINANCE. The City Council fouad that It had nothing to gain "by Insisting that the stupid Bennett box ordinance should be enacted. The ordinance was doubtful and contradictory In meaning, and the Councilmen knew it, for their attention had been repeatedly called to Its am biguities; yet. becaus'e of a notion that they would not be dictated to by the Mayor, eleven Councilmen formed a combination to put him "in a hole" on the saloon and restaurant box question. But they were merely putting them selves "In a hole." Some of them found It out In lime to save the Council from & blunder. The Council sustained the Mayor's veto of the box ordinance, but another box ordinance was at once pre sented and will probably be passed. The new bill is the Bennett ordinance with, the grammatical crudities elimi nated. Nobody knows why a new sa loon and restaurant box ordinance is needed, but the Council appears to think It Is one of, the crying needs of' the hour. If the effect of the new ordi nance shall be to stop the delivery and sale of liquor In rooms at hotels and that seems to be one object no great hardship will be wrought on anybody. ENTER MR. EVERETT COLBV. The emancipation of the American people from the rule of their bosses goes on apace. New examples of the wholesome and promising movement appear every day. It has extended even to enslaved and benighted New Jersey, where everybody had supposed that popular government was extin guished forever. Probably no other state in the Union. cxceDt Derhans Rhode Island, exists In such abject servitude to the corporations and to their creatures, the bosses. The New York correspondent of The Oregonian relates how. In one of the most de bauched counties of this utterly de bauched and humiliated commonwealth a young man of courage, energy and ability defied the whole horde of polit leal hyenas and vultures and put them to Ignominious rout. His name Is Everett Colby. His home is in Essex County, New Jersey. Per mitted by the county boss to go to the State Assembly, soon after the session began the same dilemma confronted him which, sooner or later, confronts every young man of integrity who en ters politics. He had to choose between his honest opinions and the good will of his bosa. Mr. Colby preferred to stand well with his own conscience H expressed himself boldly upon the ini quitous tax and corporation laws of New Jersey, and the natural result fol lowed. At the end of the session the boss, whose name, it seems, is Lenz, informed him that he could not return to the Assembly; such Insubordination could not be tolerated. Of course Colby could do nothing else than submit to this decree and humbly retire irom, pontics. ills late was sealed, His career was ruined. At least, that Is what would have hap pened to a weak man or a coward. It Is what we are often told must happen to any man In a legislature who does not bow humbly to the bosses. He de stroys his own future and makes him self useless to his constituents. How ever, it te exactly what did not happen to Mr. Colby. That energetic and wholly admirable young man defied Boss Lenz with contumely and scorn. He appealed over his head to the people of Essex County, and the people stood by him, as they always will when the choice ties between r hero and a rascal. Only he hero must manifest himself as such. He must get down among the people and make them know him. This Colby did. He made his canvass from house to house and from man to man. as La Follette used to do In Wisconsin. and his victory was overwhelming; com plete, glorious. There Is nothing left of Boss Lenz and his ring but an unsavory memory. Essex County is emanci pated; antf Everett Colby takes his place among the rising men of the Na tion. Hall and welcome to him. May his true heart never blench from the fray. May his arm bs ever stroncr and his brain clear, and may the bosses and the corporations go down before him like the Philistines before the valiant Samson. No one can or will find much fault If the next National prohibiten platform demands that our Army officers shall be sober men, and that any of them con victed of drunkenness shall, be dis missed. But ex-Governor St. John. Is talking nonsense when he says that the Taggart divorce trial Is one of God's ways of showing that the canteen has been the greatest demoralizing influ ence in our Army." The canteen Is for enlisted men, and neither Tageart nor any other officer patronizes it. Besides. me canteen naa been abolished before the time of. the greatest Taggart Bac chanalian activity. Most Army officers are sober men; and most Army officers' wives are decent women. But the men are not' to be made and, kept sober, or tne women virtuous, by law. nor bv resolutions of a political party. The Army is Just as anxious to sret rid of its Taggarts as the Prohibition party is; and the consequence of the scandal will doubtless be that the Major will soon be a private citizen again." " . 1 We are bound to say that we are not greatly Bhocked by the revelation tnat the great insurance companies made contributions to the Republican campaign fund. The legitimate ex penses of a National campaign are Im mense. For example, It Is 6ald that the Republican committee printed a lare number of a single one of Davenport's cartoons at a cost of $100,000 and caused it to be Placed on billboards thran. out the Unfted States at a further ex pense of $150,000. Here was one item that footed, up $250,000. The country- was flooded with campaign literature, which costs money, and overrun with orators, who cost more money. It can be seen that. If these things are proper and they are a National campaign might easily cost several million dol lars. All parties raise campaign funds; iiiiu mey get (ne juuuo irumt uieiiyj friends. The life Insurance companies say they gave considerable sums not excessive when the magnitude of their Interests is considered to the Repub licans because they thought Democratic success a grave menace to their' wel fare. It was true. The-election of Mr. Bryan would have been a personal dis aster to the policy-holders In all Insur ance companies. If, therefore, the pro tection of the policy-holders was the true reason for these contributions. It was sufficient. ' Patriotic sentiment has Interposed in vain to save the old frigate Constitution from decay. For some years the an clenfl craft has been kept afloat by painstaking care, but It now threatens to turn turtle at Its moorings a tired vessel's method of giving up the ghost. Time, wlrh its changes and erosions, finally conquers all, and it Is futile to fence against his slow, persistent march. The old frigate has had Its day, and a long and honorable one It has been. Its builders, those who won with and for It great victories; the Issues for which It fought, have all passed away. Its- original timbers have been from time to time replaced, as they have rotted away, until there Is little left of the historical craft but' its name. This name holds a secure place In the annals of the American Navy, and, since the craft represents little now hut decaying timbers and a long outdated model. It may be Just as well to letVthe waters that It rode over In Its pride and strength close over it In Its decrepitude. The passing of a wornout vessel, like that of a wornout, feeble man. is not- a matter of regret, but rather of relief. The angel of the backward look And folded wings of ashen gray. And voice of echoes far away Pauses to record the passing of men and things that have had and served their day not sorrowfully, but with a benediction, while Importunate hours that hours rucceed Each clamorous with its own aharp need And duty keeping pace with all Fitly relegate the outlived years and their Instruments men and things to history or to memory. Boards of Education In New York and Philadelphia are now undergoing the annual roast from newspapers for failure to provide seats for children In the already overcrowded schoolrooms. There are part-time classes all over the two cities and much indignation on the part of parents. In Portland the School Board looks fairly well to the future, with the result that there has been little pongestion In past years which could not be promptly relieved. When the schools open, next Monday, few pupils are likely to be turned away for lack of room, yet by the time all the children have returned from the hopfields It will not be surprising If the seating capacity of the combined schools Is In small degree Inadequate. A very busy business man writes to The Oregonian protesting against the common practice of sending the office boy to the telephone and then, when thecall Is answered, holding- the recip ient of the message until the principal can be summoned. Ee asks for a cure. This is not easy. Tife practice Is an impertinence, of course, and In most cases the time of the man wasted at the receiving end of the wire is quite as valuable as that of the man who has saved himself. Refusal to talk to the man who has kept him waiting may work a reform. If even man who suf fers from the practice will point that fact out to the offender, the custom may fall Into Inocuous desuetude. The recent accident on the Manhat tan Elevated Railroad in which twele persons were killed serves as a re minder of the safety attending travel above ground. It Is now about twenty- V7 t fP.e.ndfil.tlflC' and that period muii twenty persons suiiereaaaeatn on them by accident. In the fifteen years. 1SS0-1905, the roads carried more than 3000 million passengers, an aver age of 210.144.9S9 a year. Even In the light of the latest accident, the elevat ed's record for safety stands unmatched hy any transportation company any where. A passenger stands one chance In 150,000,000 of being killed. A Salem man .who has recently re turned from a three months' stay at Panama, where he was engaged on Government work as a plumber, says that he has had enough of life jon the Isthmus. He declares he would' rather work tar $3 a day In Salem than for 55 a day In Panama. And the same may be said of parts of the United States. Many a man would rather work for $3 a daj- In the Willamette Valley, with Its mild climate Winter and Summer, than, for $5 a day In a state where sul try nights end In cyclones and where wintry wlnds .develop Into blizzards. In Oregon life Is wortn tY the living. Strange It Is that employers of men placed In positions of trust are so slow In discovering defalcations. It' is al most an invariable rule that a defaulter has become such because he has lived beyond his Income. A man who will ingly lives beyond his means lives dis honestly, and It Is only a matter of time when some one will pay for "the luxuries he has enjoyed. Most likely the man to stand the loss will be the employer or. an overconfident creditor. A-Baker City man proposes to manu facture a base for perfumes from the sagebrush that grows on all the plains of Eastern Oregon. According to his story, the sagebrush contains an oil which is cheaper than the ordinary musk and can be used for fixing the scent of all perfumes. He also proposes to manufacture paper from sagebrush. At last, perhaps, we -have learned for what this much-despised shrub was created. Aeronaut' Beachey aimed at the Ex position and hit the earth seven miles north of Vancouver. Yet If any one thinks he can do better, let him try it. The attorneys, for the beef packers have offered a "plea in abatement." That sounds familiar; also suspicious. General Miles can no longer claim to be a citizen -of the world; he has regis tered as a voter in Boston. Ast an apostle of discontent, Bryan ought to do-'weirjust.npw In Japan; - . OREGON OZONE First Impressions of Frisco. - SAN FRANCISCO, Sept. 13. "Serene. Indifferent of fate. She sltteth at the western gate." So sang Bret Harte concerning San Francisco forty years 'ago. She may have been sitting down then; no doubt, she did look somewhat squatty in 1SS3; but at first appearance now. when you see her from the bay. she seems to be standing up. Some of her buildings scrape the sky. Others are always getting into "scrapes much lower down. Part of Frisco seeni3 to be built on end. and the rest of It on an angle -of 45 degrees. While we cannot ad mit that the city is still sitting she has no time to sit we need, not revise the late Mr. Harte as to the indifference. Frisco is still Indifferent; she doesn't seem to care a continental whether school keeps in after dark or lets out at the 11 o'clock recess. I am Inclined to think that San Francisco is about the most indifferent town I ever saw. and I have seen many towns, from Lower Squankum, N. J to Grass Valley, Or. All of us have seen Jay burgs. In the 'way out district, that didn't seem to worry about anything; they Just moseyed along, or stood still, or sat down, whichever was the most comfort able attitude, and let the world wag. They were Indifferent. Frisco 13 indifferent, though In a different way.- She lets the world wag. but she wags along with the world not because she really cares to wag, but because she la full of wags, and can't help It. After I had been here 15 minutes I asked a man If Frisco was a healthful town. "It's the unhealthfulest town In the known world." he replied. "Why. would you believe it? Half of the street-car men in San Francisco have the grip every day of their lives." "No," I said, "I wouldn't bclleve'lt. and I don't." "But It's true." he Insisted. "They run cable cars." It had been so many years since I saw a cable car that this Joke did not soak Into me for ten minutes. But In that time I saw at least ninety-five cable cars and heard a hundred more. I felt like the noble six hundred at Balaklava. Cables to the right of me. cables to tho left of me. cables In front of me clanged and clattered. The cable car. as you may re member. Is a relic of a past age. It was cc-exlstent with the mule car some time last century. Only San Francisco and Kansas City, which stand on end, still cling to the cable; they have to; It takes an elevator rope to pull a car up these perpendicular precipices. An Englishman came down on the train with me I knew he was an Englishman because he carried, an umbrella and three canes and when ne wanted to go up to the fourth or fifth floor of San Francisco, out in the street, he said to a pedestrian "My good fellow, where Is the lift?" "The what?" "The lift, don't you know? It must re quire a lift to go up these bloody hills." The Joke about the street-car men hav ing the grip Is a new one. Jokes, like the numan aoay, renew tnemseives every seven years. If nature had not made that wise provision we should have no new Jokes, for there are only three genuine Jokes in the world. One of them Is the May-moving Joke, and the other two are the mothor-In-law Joke, which works both ways. All other Jokes are descendants of these. Their mothers would not know some of them are out. and would not rec ognlze them If they should see them out. but this Is because the principle of evolu tion applies to Jokes as well as to Jack asses, monkeys and men. When I emerged from the ferry station at the foot of Market street I got the Im pression that the town looked pretty much like New Tork at the water front In the neighborhood ot Liberty street. A mo- 'ment later I was sure that It -was New York, and wondered how I had happened to take the wrong train, for on the side walk I saw a man eating dried prunes out of his coat pocket. Nobody ever eats dried prunes except In New York, and there they don't eat anything else unless they iniake a special call for it and pay extra L ,nveatlsate1 thls remarkable cIrcum. stance and found that the man eating .the dried prunes belonged to a vaudeville com pany from New York and was hoted for his absent-mindedness; he thought he was at home. At the cafe where I ate my first Frisco mal the bill of fare advertised string beans. I ordered them. The waiter brought me some beans of the string va riety, but the strings had been removed. "Waiter," I said, "are these string boans?" "They are." he replied. "But where are the strings?" I demand ed, sternly. "The strings! Good Lord, man, do you want the strings?" asked the waiter. "I do," replied I; "and you trot right back and get them. I have been told that San Francisco people would try to string me, but I don't propose that they shall string my beans. I want all that is com ing to me." The- waiter was- equal to the emergency. In about five minutes he served the strings on the slde There Is a park square here. In front of the St Francis Hotel. I don't know what they call It, buv maybe It's the public square. All villages have a public square, ou know. I am chiefly interested In this square because it has the only statue of Maud Muller that I ever saw. If It isn't Maud Muller, I- don't know who it can be, and I haven't had the time to inquire. The statue stands on a very tall pedestal. In one hand of the pretty female figure Is a three-pronged pitchfork, and in the oth er hand Is a wreath of hay. Both the pitchfork and the wreath are held aloft in an attitude of Invitation. I have figured it out that the bronze figure Is that of Maud Muller on a Summer's day fiirtlnc with the Judge, who' Is riding down the; lane. She Is motioning to him with the pitchfork, and if he dismounts and climbs over the fence she will crown him with the wreath of hay. The Idea is sweetly poetic I am mighty glad to And that somebody has been appreciative enough to give Maud a monument. She deserves 'it But if Maud and the Judge should meet In San Francisco I fear the romance would turn out sadder than Whittler made It Ban Francisco Is -more indifferent than fate. If the reader finds that these first Im pressions a not. very deep, he should give me the benefit of the doubt as to whether I am a close student for I have been here only 45 minutes. KOBHRTU3 LOVE What Ohio Means. O-h-l-o.-Jn Japanese means "good morn ing.". In this. country It meana'"I want an ,offlce."rWashington Pot. - " HIGH SPEED TRAINS. Railway World. -5 Ever since the Pennsylvania and the New York Central railroads Inaugurated their fast service between New York and Chicago a heated discussion has been car ried on in the newspapers as to the safety of traveling under these new conditions. The accident to the Lake Shore Flyer soon after it was put in service aroused general apprehension that these high speed trains could not be operated with average safety. In some official quarters the disposition has been shown to yield to this criticism, at least so far as to admit the possibility of an eventual modi fication of the schedule to conform to what might appear to be a general de mand for slower speed. The criticism of the- policy of these two companies In reducing the time of their special trains Is based upon a misappre hension of the new factors which make these high speeds possible. The time of these trains Is only in a small . measure due to their Increased speed. The main reason for the reduction in time Is the long runs and the success of the efforts which have been made to keep the tracks clear. The average speed of the Pennsyl vania Special from Chicago to New York Is about 50 miles per hour, including stops, and slightly more than this taking out tho small amount of time necessary to change engines. This speed Is not excessive, and in fact, is exceeded on many roads with out giving risa to the slightest adverse comment. The speed of the express trains between Washington and New York and between Philadelphia and At lantic City frequently reaches 70 miles per hour, and 60-mile schedules are common. Similar fa3t time Is made on many roads. In fact, the running speed of the Pennsyl vania Railroad's 15-hour train is but a little greater than that of the 24-hour train operated by the same company be tween New York and Chicago. For exam ple, between New York and North Phila delphia the time of the Pennsylvania Spe cial is one hour and 42 minutes, and of the Chicago Special two hours and two min utes; between Harrisburg and Altoona the time Is two hours and 35 minutes for the Pennsylvania Special arid three hours and 10 minutes for the slower train; be tween Altoona and Pittsburg the Penn sylvania Special saves half an hour over the time of the Chicago Special; between New York and Pittsburg the running time of the 18-hour special is but two hours and 15 minutes less than that of the 24 hour train, and of this time more than 30 minutes is explained by the longer stops of i the Chicago Special. West of Pittsburg the ls-hour train saves four hours over the time of the Chicago Special, but this Is- again explained by the more frequent stops of the slower trains. After leaving Pittsburg the first stop of the Pennsyl vania Special is at Crestline, a run of 1SS miles. The Chicago Special, however, makes four stops between Pittsburg and Crestline and four stops between Crestline and Chicago, as compared with two for the Pennsylvania Special. East-bound, the time of the Pennsylvania Special from Harrisburg to New York is but 15 minutes less than that of the 24-hour train. Excessive speed maintained for long dis tances along lines crowded with traffic Is undoubtedly a factor of danger when met with, but this Is not the condition present In the fast service recently Inaugurated bet wen Chicago and New York. The phe nomenal time of these trains Is due rather to the absence of Interference than to tho speed of the engines and the excellence" of the roadbeds. As the operating efficiency continues to increase, and in response to the growing demand of the traveling pub lic an average speed of 50 miles an hour for 1000 miles, it Is not unreasonable to expect, will In a few years become a mat ter of course. Value of the Great Exposition. Walla Walla Union. Someone has said that expositions mark the progress of time better than any other tangible Influences of the times. The Portland Fair I3 contributing a notable part to the schooling of the great North west and of the world. There Is nothing which will make one so well satisfied with the good things of his city or county and so disgusted with institutions which are obsolete as a visit to a great falr,that mart where the material and Intellectual wares of the world are exhibited. It should be a source of great pride to Walla Walla city and county that in competition with the great fruit and grain regions of the world she Is able to furnish the Lewl3 and Clark Fair an exhibit second to none in the aggregate, and In particular details outdo them all In excellence. The educa tlonal value of a skeptic's' visit to the Fair will be determined by his ability to absorb new Ideas of Irrigation, the adoption of improved farm machinery, new dairy methods and the like. Tho most valuable thing about fairs, when all Is said, Is the manner in wnicn new ideas and thoughts, under the guise of entertainment and amusement, are left indelibly upon the brain. The Amenities Up in Umatilla. Weston Leader. Boyd, with his usual offenslveness, has waxed merry because the Leader man was .gaiiont enougn to carry a young lady's valise for a few blocks in the su burban village of Athena, and pilot her through the miscellaneous debris that blockaded the sidewalks. His uncouth mirth reminds one of a blhdrned boval- apus doing the pas-ma-Ia, and Is qulta as genteel and graceful. Boyd himself has about as much Idea of gallantry as a bow-legged Pl-ute Indianwhich In deed he would resemble If the nosepaint he uses should spread itself to the rest of his knarled and knobby physiognomy. If the retiring and modest younc ladv whom ne nas oxaggea into print will agree to horsewhip" him, the Leader will cheerfully lurmsn tne Diacksnake and pay her fine. .Greatest Little Fair Ever KnoAvn. Baker City Democrat. Distinguished from all -other national and International fairs, the Lewis and Clark Exposition at Portland has proved a record breaker In many respects, with an attendance of more than double what was originally expected the" Fair is al ready a financial success. It has proved to be a wonderful educator of the people from tho East who by the thousands have visited It. and the people from Eu rope and the Orient. All of the visitors to the Fair are agreed that It has been a true exponent of the resources of the Northwest, and as the Governor of Idaho expressed It "It has been the greatest little fair ever put up." Why Mr. Smith Retires. Grant's Pass Herald. A Change. Owing to his excessive In dulgence In the flowing bowl It has been deemed advisable to require T. H. Smith. former manager and part owner of the Dally Herald, to sever all connection with this paper, his interests having been ac quired by Lee w. Henry, who will hence forth be editor and manager. Subscribers and advertisers are respectfully asked to bear this in mind In extending credit or In making remittances to the Grant's Pass Dally Herald. Beneficial fdr Years to Come. Union Republican. Notwithstanding the wails of the croak ers, we are forced to conclude that the Lewis ana Clark Fair Is a success. While It nas cleaned up much of the spare change in the country districts, the Fair has proven, an educator as well as an en tertainer for the people, and a great ad vertiser for the State of Oregon and the great Northwest, and Its beneflclal results will be felt for years to come. But It's Impossible. Philadelphia Public Ledger. He I'd( consider it a great pleasure to talk to a. woman like Miss Gassaway. She What! Why. she'd talk you to death'. .He I said Td consider It a pleasure- to talk, to hsr, not to. 'listen to'hery' BAD EFFECT5J0F SMOKING. American Medicine. -The Practitioner has gone to the trouble to elicit the opinions of a number of med ical men concerning the effect of smoking upon the health. Nothing new or decisive is reached as a result, and the editor. In summarizing the discussion, takes the customary standpoint that abuse", of course, may be, due to the habit, that tha custom of smoking by boys Is wrong, but not sufficiently so to warrant any control by law. Fun Is, Indeed, pokedat the "fad dists" who ore seeking to control th abuse both In this country and England. Every one 13 to Judge for himself, and the spirit bf the editorial principle of lalsses faire Is shown by the quoted Jingle: Cats may have had their gooae Cooked by tobacco juice; Still, whj- deny U use Thoughtfully taken. Doubtless, professional opinion as re gards the use both of alcohol and tobacco has been often dictated by the personal habits of many medical writers. The purely scientific or clinical facts, more over, are hard to get at. The quesUon Is not as to the physiologic and single dose, nor the very moderate use, but relates to the persistent use, the long-continued habit, and the effects of overuse and abuse. No data, are at hand to determine such questions, and the matter thus comes down to the attention of careful clinical observers, the collection of Isolated cases and facts, and attention spread over many years by exceptionally shrewd men, both patients and physicians. There Is an old story which illustrates too well the atti tude of some physicians: Strict rules as to diet, etc. were laid down to the poor patient by the grand medical adviser, end ing with a stern command, "and one cigar after each meal!" In a week the woe begone sufferer returned worse than ever, saying: "I have carried out your orders' doctor, accurately. In everything except as regards tobacco. I have never smoked before this, and every time I try to smoke as you said, after each meal, I become sick as death, vomit, and it takes 24 hours to recover. I cannot do it!" That all agree that habitual smoking, and especially of cigarettes, bv boys, Is most injurious. Is a fact which should give pause to the let-lt-alone advisers. If harmful to the young why not to those who are older, particularly if carried to excess? At least a new clinical law Is suggested as to the action of drugs on tho yqung and upon older patients. Again. If tobacco Is not harmful to men. why should Women be excluded from the sup posed harmlessness and admitted pleas ure of smoking? Some other principle than an esthetic or social one must be al lowed to obtain, and one must begin tha study of the action of the drugs on tho male as contrasted with the female organ ism. The morbid effects of much smoking on special organs, the eye especially the tongue, and throat, etc.. and frequently upon other tissues and functions. Is frankly admitted. It Is m the observation of every experienced physician that smoking often has a speedy and decided effect upon the appetite, digestion, etc. A study of Idiosyncrasy and the different effects in Individuals Is evidently highly desired, and above all, the cumulative re sults of long habit and excess. What Is excess? Surely ten cigars or plpefujs a day is excess, and Is bound to oroduc ease. Just as surely hundreds of th. sands of Americans are smokine: to cess. But excess In Individual cases may oe oniy tnree cigars, or even one. a day. Who has sought to determine the condi tions and signs of the physiologic dose when habit or slow absorption and subtle effects are sought? Now factors are also coming Into play. e. g., the qualities and morbidity producing conditions of tobacco from different countries, and from dif ferent grounds, even from different fac tories. The rage for luxury and show Is modifying the growing of tobacco and manufacture of cigars, and proceeding to such lengths that cigars, enormous in size, and powerful In effects, ara "sported," cigars which cost from 25 cents to a dollar or more each; and Is It sure that these expensive cigars contain no drug- except pure tobacco? It has coma to our personal knowledge that cases of severe although mysterious diseases and ill health have existed in which smoking was finally demonstrated to be the source of the mischief, after all other theories and diagnoses had been proved false. Tha whole subject needs a rigorously scien tific investigation. In the meantime busy pnysicians should be constantly on guard not to overlook tobacco as an unsuspected cause of great mischief. Reflections or a Bachelor. New York Press. Most people are such poor managers that their cost of living goes up even if prices go down. There Is a lot more fun being In love and wishing you were married than not being and wishing you weren't When a girl is pretty she knows it with out your telling It. but you don't do your self any harm telling her you know It, too. A man makes a good husband when ho thinks he Is having a fine time going to call on the minister to set an example to the children. When a man goes to an afternoon tea and thinks what a good time he could be having smoked an old pipe at home, ho has been married long enough to talk plain English about it on the way home. Looking: on the Bright Side. Chicago Tribune. The doctor had been injured so severely in a street-car collision that the surgeons were compelled to amputate his right hand. "Upon the whole," he said. "It's a lucky accident. Do you know that In the palm of the ordinary unwashed band there are over.SO.000,000 microbes to the square inch? A man in my profession has to meet all sorts of people. I shall get an artificial hand, and hereafter I shall be able to shake hands with anybody with perfect safety." Business and Pleasure. Chicago News. "Every morning Mrs. A. used to remain at home and do her churning. Now she spins post here in her automobile' "You don't say! Has she given up her dairy business?" "Oh, no. Instead of turning the clumsy old churn she Just places the milk cans In the automobile and by the time she has run 20 miles the cream has been shaken Into butter." The Golden Girl of Fall. Chicago Chronicle. The Summer girl has gone away. Has vanished from the surging sea; Her batbtnr suit In colors gay. Has also disappeared, ah. met - But noiv the brightest girl of all Is coming as the plovers call The prettleet girl, . The wittiest girl, Vr The golden girl of Fait The girl of lace and peekaboo . Has lately hurried from the stare. The triumphs of her reign are through And other girls our minds engage; ' For now the "brightest girl ot all Is eomtnr as the plovers call , The pretUest girl, ' The wittiest girl. . - The golden girl of Fall. The Summer girl has had her day " And now the witching, thing- departs. But other maidens trip thia'way. . -" to captivate our wullnx hearts. For now the brightest girl of< Is coming as the plovers call The prettleat girl. The wltUest girl. The maiden girl ot Fall. She Is a charming, little maid. ltia Drone-new nat and Trana-new-gawa. Demure and Just the least bit staid; Ana gowned, ot course, in hues of brows. She Is the brightest girl of alt. "Who comes when plaintive plovers call The- prettleat girl, . - : . The wltUest .girl. , W v The .golden girl of Fall ; f X A.