Morning Oregonian. (Portland, Or.) 1861-1937, September 21, 1905, Page 8, Image 8

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Entered at the Postotflce at Portland. Or,
reeond-elass matter.
(Br Hall or Express.)
Dallr and Eundar. per year
Ottlj- and Sunday, six months.......
Qallv m nil Kunilir. thr months.....
Dally and Sunday, per month. ......... -W
Dally without Sunday, per year
Dally without Sunday, alz months 8.B0
Dally -without Sunday, three month...
uaiiy without Sunday, per monia
Sand, per year. .. .............
suncay. aix xnontns.
Sunday, three montha. .63
Dally without Sunday, per weelc .
Dally, per week. Sunday inciuaea.....;
Claeued Ererr Thuraday.)
Weekly, per year -
Weekly, rlx months -TO
tfrklv fhr tnnntha ............. &D
lIOV"' TO REMIT Send poitoMce money
order, express order or personal check on
your local hank. Stamps, com or curroacj
are at tha sender's risk.
The 6. C Beckwllh Special Agency Nijr
Terk. rooms 43-50 Tribune fcuuaing,
cage, rooms- 510-512 Tribune building.
Chlufro Auditorium Annex. Postofflce.
Xcwa Oe.. 1Tb Dearborn street.
Dalian. Tex Globe News Depot. 260 Main
llmiw Tullua Tllnrlr. Hamilton & Knd
stole WS-S12 Seventeenth street: Pratt Book
Blare. 1214 Fifteenth street.
Ics Moines. la. Moses Jacobs, 309 Firth
Geldflrid. "er. F. Sandstrom; Guy Marsh.
Kantian City. Mo. Rlckseoker Cigar Co
Ntsnh and Walnut.
I Anjrrlps Harry Drapkln; B. E. Amos.
U WsM Seventh ittreot: Dlllard isews w
Minnetanolls M. J. Kavanauch. CO South
Cleveland. O. James Tushaw. 807 Superior
Nir York Cltr L. Jones &-Co.. Astor
Attest Ic City, . J. Ell Taylor, 207 North
I moots ave.
Oakland. Cal. W. H. Johnston. Fourteenth
m4 FraitkliB otreets.
Ocra (SoMard &. Karroo and Meyers &
Mimrraa. n V. He-lle.
Omaha Rarkaiew Bros.. 1C12 Farnam:
Xaatk Stationery Co.. 1S0S Farnam; 240
Bawth 14th.
Sacramento, Cal. Sacramento News Co.,
4 K nrwL
raW Salt Lake News Co..77 West
8ewi4 nre-et South: National News Agency.
Yottewrtone Park, Vyo. Canyon Hotel,
Xjakr Hotel. Yellow ntone Park Assn.
Ixmr- lira Mi B. E. Amos.
fcn- l'rancisco -J. K. Cooper & Co., 746
Mark: street; Goldsmith Bros.. 230 Sutter
a4 HI1 St Francis News Stand; I K.
I. Palace Htl News Stand; F. V'. Pitts.
NfS Market; Frank Scelt. SO Ellis; N.
WlMMtley Movable News Stand, corner Mar
fee aad Xoarney streets; Foster & Orear,
"Ty Nw Stand.
M. IhU. Mo. E. T. Jett Book & News
Coenpaay. 8 OUve street.
Washington. I). C. Ebbitt House, Pennsyl-
From the beginning of time farmers
Imve keen the butt of universal rldl
ste and the unresisting victims of
phmder. The Bafbylonian lords built
tte palaces xnd temples of their fa
wsowr city with wealth wrung: without
reqtiltal from the farmers who tilled
their Irrigated lands in the plains of
the Separates. The Kings of Egypt
Jtogged the farmers of the Nile from
their com fields to build the pyramids,
which became the tombs, not alone of
the mummied monarchs. but of hun
dreds of thousands of their hapless sub
jects. The Roman farmers were the
perennial debtors, and, In all but name.
we staves of their patrician landlords,
Tie wretchedness of the farmers of
Medieval Europe has become a byword
of history. Their misery In France was
:e lrlnc4pRl cause of the great Revo
ifcon. Their present misery in the
vmmt Russian Empire portends a cata
clysm as terrible as the one that de
stroyed feudalism in Western Europe
At the close of the eighteenth century.
language itself has Joined in the unl
wsal unktndness to farmers. The
wmns which have designated their call
ing in successive ages have Invariably
degenerated to terms of contempt. A
villain was originally a man who tilled
the soil; so was a boor. Now the first
word implies moral depravity, the sec
ond low manners and stupidity. "It Is
meat and drink to me to see a clown,
aia Touchstone, and by clown he
meant farmer. What justification there
may have been in the past for this Ill-
treatment of those who make their llv
log from the land it is not necessary
now to tiiscuss. All human callings
nave had low beginnings. The physi
cian was originally a charlatan: the
yrleet was the medicine man of naked
savages. The important fact is that
larmtng has now become an intellectual
calling. Its pursuit requires high spe
cial training in physics, chemistry and
"botany, and the more a farmer knows
of law. economics and political science
the better he will prosper. His calllpg
has "been subdivided into specialties,
like medicine and law; and as we have
and ear specialists among physi
cians, and among lawyers men who
give all their attention to some partic
ular and very narrow "bit of dexterity,
such as drawing up indictments, so
among farmers there are those who cul
tivate nothing else than potatoes or ap
ples and who have carried their art to
the acme of skill. ,
Five centuries ago the whole human
race were the helpless victims of the
uncertainties of what was called Na
ture, or Providence. Men were the
eOaves of Nature. They neither under
stood her laws nor hoped to master her
forces. Now they have done both. Sci
ence has subjected the law of Nature
to the human Intellect, and inventors
have harnessed her forces to machines
to do our work. If we are now just as
much the slaves of the machines as we
formerly were of theVorces which the
machines have subdued, that Is be
cause the Intelligence of the race has
solved physical problems faster than
economic ones. We have learned how
t produce wealth; we have not learned
how to distribute It.
Over the problem of distribution of
the wealth it has on hand, so that every
roan shall have his fair share, the
world stands stupid and' baffled today,
exaoily as the United States Govern
ment -was baffled by the problem of
setting supplies to Its soldiers in Cuba.
The supplies were there, carloads and
shiploads of them. A few miles away
the soldiers were starving in the field
and dying In "hospitals for want of
them; the Government was utterly un
able to distribute what It had to the
men -who needed It. So the -whole world
sits today paralyzed into stupidity be
fore the problem of getting the wealth
it has on hand to those who are starv
ing for lack of it and to whom it right
fully belongs. . The wealth the world
produces, not quite all of It, but pretty
nearly all, , 'accumulates in the hands of
those who transport and of those v,'ho
make a business of buying and selling.
Frank Norrls, at the end of that great
book, "The Octopus," blenching from
the righteous philosophy of his earlier
chapters, says that it is the operation
of natural law nvhlch gives everything
to the railroad company which trans
ports, and little or nothing: to the' farm
er who produces. Butit is not natural
law; It Is human stupidity and Indo
lence yielding to immoral greed. Our
railroads and trusts are playing1 In
new way the ancient and Iniquitous
game of robbing the tiller of, the soil
of the fruits of his labor; and the farm
ers have not yet discovered how to pro
tect themselves. Organization is the
great secret; but the farmer has only
begun to learn 1U By the last census
there were ten and one-half millions
of people in the United States engaged
in agricultural occupations. If they
were organized as the steel trust Is,
they could absolutely dominate the pol
Icy of "the Nation. They could nwfke
and uniriake constitution?. Laws wou!d
be putty In their hands, as they are
now in the hands of the trusts. The
Federal Courts would tremble before
them as they never shook before
threatening 'railroad president Polit
ical parties would hasten to take their
orders. They would get Ipgislatlon
which means somethlng
When the farmers grow Intelligently
alive to their own welfare and go about
in modern ways to look after their In
terests,. . they will become, as they
ought to be, from their numbers and
the fundamenta'l Importance of their
occupation, the dominant class of the
country. The new organization called
the American Society of Equity, which
purposes to unite the fanners of the
Middle West, and perhaps of the Na
tion, and affiliate with the American
Federation of Labor, may or may not
succeed in doing what the Fanners' Al
liance, the Patrons of Husbandry and
the local organizations of hopgrowers
and producers of fruit have accom
plished only In part. Economically the
farmers are capitalists rather than la
borers, though generally not on the
-largest scale. It must be confessed, and
their interests would- not seem to lie
entirely with those of an organization.
liKe the American Federation; but of
that they must Judge for themselves.
rri f . i . ....
-Luejr yresem isolation ana neipiessness
before their shearers is bad for them
ana oau ior me nation. Tne sooner
they come Into a position to protect
themselves and assert their rights, the
better for us all.
John Pierce SL John is r-Oo-rnnr
of Kansas, and he has neen ex-Go ver
nor a very long time. He is no longer
tnuch considered there; but Kansas is
getting along without him somehow
and with prohibition somehow. This
is not to say that St. John is especially
to olame for being a Has Been. There
are others, many others, and they be
long to all parties. But there is a cer
tain kind of men who live along in the
dim luster of a conspicuous and
more or less useful past, and St.
John is one of them. He is an In
terestlng and voluble reminiscence of
the Kansas of the early '80s, which Is
not the Kansas of today. Kansas is
still In -the reform business; but It Is
not of the St. John kind; it is of the
Roosevelt brand of reform. It has a
Governor who is doing much to solve
the vital problems that perplex Kan
sas and the Nation. His name is Ed
ward W. Hoch, and he Is a Republican
He defeated the Republican machine.
iiut iu ruui me oooaiers. Ana was a
potent factor In Kansas' great fight
against the Standard Oil octopus. He
got 186,731 votes in 1904. despite the ef
forts of Democracy andof one James
Iverr. prohibiUoniPt. Kerr got 65S4
votes, which shows how much attention
the people of Kansas pay to ex-Gov
ernor St. John. It shows, too. Just how
much the St. Johns of Kansas are doing
for the emancipation of the people of
that state from the grip of the organ
ized enemies of the Republic The tac
tics the Prohibition party adopted in
Kansas it pursued with great activity
and persistence last November in Wis
consin, Illinois, Indiana and Missouri;
and, If they had had their way. the
public would have lost the services of
LaFolIette, Deneen, Hanly and Folk:
and In the country at large President
Roosevelt met the determined and un
reasoning hostility of this same nolsv
band that is determined at all hazards,
no matter what the perils of the Nation
from foes without or Its distresses from
foes within, to smash somebodv nr
The organization now holdinsr Its sbh-
slons in Portland is th T.nwlc an
CJark World's Fair Temperance Con
gress. It purports to reoresent th
tempepance sentiment of the United
States. But it does not. The Prohibi
tionists have monopolized Its sessions
and have given the whole proceedings
me siamp or weir impossible and mis
chievous fad. The Woman's Christian
Temperance Union, the Young Worn-
ens Temperance Union, the Baptist
Young People's Union, the Christian
Endeavorers, the Epworth Leamie "and
similar worthy orranlzatl
have a nominal partln the Conrres.
and have actually little influence in its
deliberations, ought not to be surprised
mat tne putrilc has come to regard
pronioition" and temperance" as syn
onymous terms.
In New York, the newspapers are
awaiting with impatience the final fig
ures of the state census made last Sum
mer. Jt is admitted that thev win b
lamentably Imperfect. As stated a few
days since, statistical writers are
agreed that the population of the state
is about 8,000,000, of which number a
little more than half are contained in
Greater New York.
Based on the calculation that the
rate of increase for the next five years
shall be the same as during the first
nve years of this decade, the World
presents the following table of esti
mated population In 1910;
Area. iftoo. ior rVA
City total ..3.4S7.202 4.140.C22 0.5 4.0fl.000
l.BOU.WM 2.12i.e08 14.6 2 435.000
1.106.682 1.8M.8P8 IfU 1 BTZOO0
200.507 S50.601 75 S13.000
152.P09 233.498 53.3 358000
67.021 77.016 14.7
Bronx . .'
Queens . ,
These -figures are amazlnc. Nm
York grew 37 percent in the last decade
of the last century. Spurred hv th
beginnings of rapid transit, it bids fair
io grow 45 per cent or more in tho
first decade of the present one. At the
time of the opening of the subwav th
World, from figures then available, es-
umatea that Ne' York should over
take the County of London by or before
1912. Uslnir the
don's growth as established by the last
census to estimate Its 1911 Donul&Hon
there is this prospect:
T-rm. , 1S9L 1901. 1911.
4. iccniu . left.).
The countr 4 2ii r.m nri j V-i AZ.
Metropolitan dUt. .3,033.806 eClS 7.'C70.000
The World adds:
Owlnj to condition of buslnea dullnixm snA
industrial unemployment In the Rrit! o..
ltal, Ixwidon la leu likely -than New York to
maintain lt present indicated msth th.
chances, are that New Tork -will
County of Ixmdon , before ljo, and that the
tw square miles or the English Metropolitan
fliatrlct will lonp before 1830 have en passed
by an equal area containing New Tork.
Tonkers and the near-by Jersey cities, which
afford the only fair comparison.
Curiously, the Chicago Record-Herald,
using the same figures for the pur
pose of ' prediction, sees a-still larger in
crease in population. It says:
If. however, there ia such an Increase as
S2S.C20 la Ave years, which Is one of the
claims that are made, the record-breaklnr Is
wonderful Indeed. Tor this Is at the rate
of about 24 per cent In the half decade, and
the Increase between 1890 and 1900 was only
3S per cent. Furthermore In coins' back to
the decade between 1SS0 and 1S90, the percent
age was ttill .smaller, so that we hare a
steady Increase of percentages or a re-ersal of
the natural order In such a large city. On
this showing our own calm judgment Is that
the rate between 1910 and 1920 wil) be 100
per cent, and that the population at the lat
ter date will be about 12.000.000.
There is no doubt that the remarkable
ratio of Increase in the past five years
Is due In great part to the unprecedent
ed Immigration. It is not likely that
the ipfluxbf people from Southern Eu
rope Is going to keep up for ten or fif
teen years at the present rate. Perhaps
it will be safer to discount the enthusi
astic figures of the newspapers.
The City Council fouad that It had
nothing to gain "by Insisting that the
stupid Bennett box ordinance should be
enacted. The ordinance was doubtful
and contradictory In meaning, and the
Councilmen knew it, for their attention
had been repeatedly called to Its am
biguities; yet. becaus'e of a notion that
they would not be dictated to by the
Mayor, eleven Councilmen formed a
combination to put him "in a hole" on
the saloon and restaurant box question.
But they were merely putting them
selves "In a hole." Some of them found
It out In lime to save the Council from
& blunder. The Council sustained the
Mayor's veto of the box ordinance, but
another box ordinance was at once pre
sented and will probably be passed.
The new bill is the Bennett ordinance
with, the grammatical crudities elimi
nated. Nobody knows why a new sa
loon and restaurant box ordinance is
needed, but the Council appears to
think It Is one of, the crying needs of'
the hour. If the effect of the new ordi
nance shall be to stop the delivery and
sale of liquor In rooms at hotels and
that seems to be one object no great
hardship will be wrought on anybody.
The emancipation of the American
people from the rule of their bosses
goes on apace. New examples of the
wholesome and promising movement
appear every day. It has extended
even to enslaved and benighted New
Jersey, where everybody had supposed
that popular government was extin
guished forever. Probably no other
state in the Union. cxceDt Derhans
Rhode Island, exists In such abject
servitude to the corporations and to
their creatures, the bosses. The New
York correspondent of The Oregonian
relates how. In one of the most de
bauched counties of this utterly de
bauched and humiliated commonwealth
a young man of courage, energy and
ability defied the whole horde of polit
leal hyenas and vultures and put them
to Ignominious rout.
His name Is Everett Colby. His home
is in Essex County, New Jersey. Per
mitted by the county boss to go to the
State Assembly, soon after the session
began the same dilemma confronted
him which, sooner or later, confronts
every young man of integrity who en
ters politics. He had to choose between
his honest opinions and the good will
of his bosa. Mr. Colby preferred to
stand well with his own conscience H
expressed himself boldly upon the ini
quitous tax and corporation laws of
New Jersey, and the natural result fol
lowed. At the end of the session the
boss, whose name, it seems, is Lenz,
informed him that he could not return
to the Assembly; such Insubordination
could not be tolerated.
Of course Colby could do nothing else
than submit to this decree and humbly
retire irom, pontics. ills late was
sealed, His career was ruined. At
least, that Is what would have hap
pened to a weak man or a coward. It
Is what we are often told must happen
to any man In a legislature who does
not bow humbly to the bosses. He de
stroys his own future and makes him
self useless to his constituents. How
ever, it te exactly what did not happen
to Mr. Colby. That energetic and wholly
admirable young man defied Boss Lenz
with contumely and scorn. He appealed
over his head to the people of Essex
County, and the people stood by him,
as they always will when the choice
ties between r hero and a rascal. Only
he hero must manifest himself as such.
He must get down among the people
and make them know him. This
Colby did. He made his canvass from
house to house and from man to man.
as La Follette used to do In Wisconsin.
and his victory was overwhelming; com
plete, glorious. There Is nothing left of
Boss Lenz and his ring but an unsavory
memory. Essex County is emanci
pated; antf Everett Colby takes his
place among the rising men of the Na
tion. Hall and welcome to him. May his
true heart never blench from the fray.
May his arm bs ever stroncr and his
brain clear, and may the bosses and
the corporations go down before him
like the Philistines before the valiant
No one can or will find much fault If
the next National prohibiten platform
demands that our Army officers shall be
sober men, and that any of them con
victed of drunkenness shall, be dis
missed. But ex-Governor St. John. Is
talking nonsense when he says that the
Taggart divorce trial Is one of God's
ways of showing that the canteen has
been the greatest demoralizing influ
ence in our Army." The canteen Is for
enlisted men, and neither Tageart nor
any other officer patronizes it. Besides.
me canteen naa been abolished before
the time of. the greatest Taggart Bac
chanalian activity. Most Army officers
are sober men; and most Army officers'
wives are decent women. But the men
are not' to be made and, kept sober, or
tne women virtuous, by law. nor bv
resolutions of a political party. The
Army is Just as anxious to sret rid of
its Taggarts as the Prohibition party is;
and the consequence of the scandal will
doubtless be that the Major will soon
be a private citizen again." " .
We are bound to say that we are
not greatly Bhocked by the revelation
tnat the great insurance companies
made contributions to the Republican
campaign fund. The legitimate ex
penses of a National campaign are Im
mense. For example, It Is 6ald that the
Republican committee printed a lare
number of a single one of Davenport's
cartoons at a cost of $100,000 and caused
it to be Placed on billboards thran.
out the Unfted States at a further ex
pense of $150,000. Here was one item
that footed, up $250,000. The country-
was flooded with campaign literature,
which costs money, and overrun with
orators, who cost more money. It can
be seen that. If these things are proper
and they are a National campaign
might easily cost several million dol
lars. All parties raise campaign funds;
iiiiu mey get (ne juuuo irumt uieiiyj
friends. The life Insurance companies
say they gave considerable sums not
excessive when the magnitude of their
Interests is considered to the Repub
licans because they thought Democratic
success a grave menace to their' wel
fare. It was true. The-election of Mr.
Bryan would have been a personal dis
aster to the policy-holders In all Insur
ance companies. If, therefore, the pro
tection of the policy-holders was the
true reason for these contributions. It
was sufficient. '
Patriotic sentiment has Interposed in
vain to save the old frigate Constitution
from decay. For some years the an
clenfl craft has been kept afloat by
painstaking care, but It now threatens
to turn turtle at Its moorings a tired
vessel's method of giving up the ghost.
Time, wlrh its changes and erosions,
finally conquers all, and it Is futile to
fence against his slow, persistent
march. The old frigate has had Its day,
and a long and honorable one It has
been. Its builders, those who won with
and for It great victories; the Issues
for which It fought, have all passed
away. Its- original timbers have been
from time to time replaced, as they
have rotted away, until there Is little
left of the historical craft but' its name.
This name holds a secure place In the
annals of the American Navy, and,
since the craft represents little now hut
decaying timbers and a long outdated
model. It may be Just as well to letVthe
waters that It rode over In Its pride and
strength close over it In Its decrepitude.
The passing of a wornout vessel, like
that of a wornout, feeble man. is not- a
matter of regret, but rather of relief.
The angel of the backward look
And folded wings of ashen gray.
And voice of echoes far away
Pauses to record the passing of men
and things that have had and served
their day not sorrowfully, but with a
benediction, while
Importunate hours that hours rucceed
Each clamorous with its own aharp need
And duty keeping pace with all
Fitly relegate the outlived years and
their Instruments men and things to
history or to memory.
Boards of Education In New York
and Philadelphia are now undergoing
the annual roast from newspapers for
failure to provide seats for children In
the already overcrowded schoolrooms.
There are part-time classes all over the
two cities and much indignation on the
part of parents. In Portland the
School Board looks fairly well to the
future, with the result that there has
been little pongestion In past years
which could not be promptly relieved.
When the schools open, next Monday,
few pupils are likely to be turned away
for lack of room, yet by the time all
the children have returned from the
hopfields It will not be surprising If the
seating capacity of the combined
schools Is In small degree Inadequate.
A very busy business man writes to
The Oregonian protesting against the
common practice of sending the office
boy to the telephone and then, when
thecall Is answered, holding- the recip
ient of the message until the principal
can be summoned. Ee asks for a cure.
This is not easy. Tife practice Is an
impertinence, of course, and In most
cases the time of the man wasted at
the receiving end of the wire is quite
as valuable as that of the man who has
saved himself. Refusal to talk to the
man who has kept him waiting may
work a reform. If even man who suf
fers from the practice will point that
fact out to the offender, the custom may
fall Into Inocuous desuetude.
The recent accident on the Manhat
tan Elevated Railroad in which twele
persons were killed serves as a re
minder of the safety attending travel
above ground. It Is now about twenty-
V7 t
fP.e.ndfil.tlflC' and that period
muii twenty persons suiiereaaaeatn
on them by accident. In the fifteen
years. 1SS0-1905, the roads carried more
than 3000 million passengers, an aver
age of 210.144.9S9 a year. Even In the
light of the latest accident, the elevat
ed's record for safety stands unmatched
hy any transportation company any
where. A passenger stands one chance
In 150,000,000 of being killed.
A Salem man .who has recently re
turned from a three months' stay at
Panama, where he was engaged on
Government work as a plumber, says
that he has had enough of life jon the
Isthmus. He declares he would' rather
work tar $3 a day In Salem than for 55
a day In Panama. And the same may
be said of parts of the United States.
Many a man would rather work for $3
a daj- In the Willamette Valley, with
Its mild climate Winter and Summer,
than, for $5 a day In a state where sul
try nights end In cyclones and where
wintry wlnds .develop Into blizzards.
In Oregon life
Is wortn tY
the living.
Strange It Is that employers of men
placed In positions of trust are so slow
In discovering defalcations. It' is al
most an invariable rule that a defaulter
has become such because he has lived
beyond his Income. A man who will
ingly lives beyond his means lives dis
honestly, and It Is only a matter of
time when some one will pay for "the
luxuries he has enjoyed. Most likely
the man to stand the loss will be the
employer or. an overconfident creditor.
A-Baker City man proposes to manu
facture a base for perfumes from the
sagebrush that grows on all the plains
of Eastern Oregon. According to his
story, the sagebrush contains an oil
which is cheaper than the ordinary
musk and can be used for fixing the
scent of all perfumes. He also proposes
to manufacture paper from sagebrush.
At last, perhaps, we -have learned for
what this much-despised shrub was
Aeronaut' Beachey aimed at the Ex
position and hit the earth seven miles
north of Vancouver. Yet If any one
thinks he can do better, let him try it.
The attorneys, for the beef packers
have offered a "plea in abatement."
That sounds familiar; also suspicious.
General Miles can no longer claim to
be a citizen -of the world; he has regis
tered as a voter in Boston.
Ast an apostle of discontent, Bryan
ought to do-'weirjust.npw In Japan; - .
First Impressions of Frisco. -
"Serene. Indifferent of fate.
She sltteth at the western gate."
So sang Bret Harte concerning San
Francisco forty years 'ago. She may have
been sitting down then; no doubt, she did
look somewhat squatty in 1SS3; but at first
appearance now. when you see her from
the bay. she seems to be standing up.
Some of her buildings scrape the sky.
Others are always getting into "scrapes
much lower down. Part of Frisco seeni3
to be built on end. and the rest of It on an
angle -of 45 degrees. While we cannot ad
mit that the city is still sitting she has
no time to sit we need, not revise the late
Mr. Harte as to the indifference. Frisco
is still Indifferent; she doesn't seem to
care a continental whether school keeps
in after dark or lets out at the 11 o'clock
recess. I am Inclined to think that San
Francisco is about the most indifferent
town I ever saw. and I have seen many
towns, from Lower Squankum, N. J to
Grass Valley, Or. All of us have seen
Jay burgs. In the 'way out district, that
didn't seem to worry about anything; they
Just moseyed along, or stood still, or sat
down, whichever was the most comfort
able attitude, and let the world wag. They
were Indifferent. Frisco 13 indifferent,
though In a different way.- She lets the
world wag. but she wags along with the
world not because she really cares to
wag, but because she la full of wags, and
can't help It.
After I had been here 15 minutes I asked
a man If Frisco was a healthful town.
"It's the unhealthfulest town In the
known world." he replied. "Why. would
you believe it? Half of the street-car men
in San Francisco have the grip every day
of their lives."
"No," I said, "I wouldn't bclleve'lt. and
I don't."
"But It's true." he Insisted. "They run
cable cars."
It had been so many years since I saw
a cable car that this Joke did not soak
Into me for ten minutes. But In that time
I saw at least ninety-five cable cars and
heard a hundred more. I felt like the
noble six hundred at Balaklava. Cables
to the right of me. cables to tho left of
me. cables In front of me clanged and
clattered. The cable car. as you may re
member. Is a relic of a past age. It was
cc-exlstent with the mule car some time
last century. Only San Francisco and
Kansas City, which stand on end, still
cling to the cable; they have to; It takes
an elevator rope to pull a car up these
perpendicular precipices.
An Englishman came down on the train
with me I knew he was an Englishman
because he carried, an umbrella and three
canes and when ne wanted to go up to
the fourth or fifth floor of San Francisco,
out in the street, he said to a pedestrian
"My good fellow, where Is the lift?"
"The what?"
"The lift, don't you know? It must re
quire a lift to go up these bloody hills."
The Joke about the street-car men hav
ing the grip Is a new one. Jokes, like the
numan aoay, renew tnemseives every
seven years. If nature had not made that
wise provision we should have no new
Jokes, for there are only three genuine
Jokes in the world. One of them Is the
May-moving Joke, and the other two are
the mothor-In-law Joke, which works both
ways. All other Jokes are descendants of
these. Their mothers would not know
some of them are out. and would not rec
ognlze them If they should see them out.
but this Is because the principle of evolu
tion applies to Jokes as well as to Jack
asses, monkeys and men.
When I emerged from the ferry station
at the foot of Market street I got the Im
pression that the town looked pretty much
like New Tork at the water front In the
neighborhood ot Liberty street. A mo-
'ment later I was sure that It -was New
York, and wondered how I had happened
to take the wrong train, for on the side
walk I saw a man eating dried prunes out
of his coat pocket. Nobody ever eats dried
prunes except In New York, and there
they don't eat anything else unless they
iniake a special call for it and pay extra
L ,nveatlsate1 thls remarkable cIrcum.
stance and found that the man eating .the
dried prunes belonged to a vaudeville com
pany from New York and was hoted for
his absent-mindedness; he thought he was
at home.
At the cafe where I ate my first Frisco
mal the bill of fare advertised string
beans. I ordered them. The waiter
brought me some beans of the string va
riety, but the strings had been removed.
"Waiter," I said, "are these string
"They are." he replied.
"But where are the strings?" I demand
ed, sternly.
"The strings! Good Lord, man, do you
want the strings?" asked the waiter.
"I do," replied I; "and you trot right
back and get them. I have been told that
San Francisco people would try to string
me, but I don't propose that they shall
string my beans. I want all that is com
ing to me."
The- waiter was- equal to the emergency.
In about five minutes he served the
strings on the slde
There Is a park square here. In front of
the St Francis Hotel. I don't know what
they call It, buv maybe It's the public
square. All villages have a public square,
ou know. I am chiefly interested In this
square because it has the only statue of
Maud Muller that I ever saw. If It isn't
Maud Muller, I- don't know who it can be,
and I haven't had the time to inquire.
The statue stands on a very tall pedestal.
In one hand of the pretty female figure Is
a three-pronged pitchfork, and in the oth
er hand Is a wreath of hay. Both the
pitchfork and the wreath are held aloft
in an attitude of Invitation. I have figured
it out that the bronze figure Is that of
Maud Muller on a Summer's day fiirtlnc
with the Judge, who' Is riding down the;
lane. She Is motioning to him with the
pitchfork, and if he dismounts and climbs
over the fence she will crown him with
the wreath of hay. The Idea is sweetly
poetic I am mighty glad to And that
somebody has been appreciative enough to
give Maud a monument. She deserves 'it
But if Maud and the Judge should meet
In San Francisco I fear the romance would
turn out sadder than Whittler made It
Ban Francisco Is -more indifferent than
If the reader finds that these first Im
pressions a not. very deep, he should
give me the benefit of the doubt as to
whether I am a close student for I have
been here only 45 minutes.
What Ohio Means.
O-h-l-o.-Jn Japanese means "good morn
ing.". In this. country It meana'"I want
an ,offlce."rWashington Pot. - "
Railway World. -5
Ever since the Pennsylvania and the
New York Central railroads Inaugurated
their fast service between New York and
Chicago a heated discussion has been car
ried on in the newspapers as to the safety
of traveling under these new conditions.
The accident to the Lake Shore Flyer
soon after it was put in service aroused
general apprehension that these high
speed trains could not be operated with
average safety. In some official quarters
the disposition has been shown to yield
to this criticism, at least so far as to
admit the possibility of an eventual modi
fication of the schedule to conform to
what might appear to be a general de
mand for slower speed.
The criticism of the- policy of these two
companies In reducing the time of their
special trains Is based upon a misappre
hension of the new factors which make
these high speeds possible. The time of
these trains Is only in a small . measure
due to their Increased speed. The main
reason for the reduction in time Is the
long runs and the success of the efforts
which have been made to keep the tracks
clear. The average speed of the Pennsyl
vania Special from Chicago to New York
Is about 50 miles per hour, including stops,
and slightly more than this taking out tho
small amount of time necessary to change
engines. This speed Is not excessive, and
in fact, is exceeded on many roads with
out giving risa to the slightest adverse
comment. The speed of the express
trains between Washington and New
York and between Philadelphia and At
lantic City frequently reaches 70 miles per
hour, and 60-mile schedules are common.
Similar fa3t time Is made on many roads.
In fact, the running speed of the Pennsyl
vania Railroad's 15-hour train is but a
little greater than that of the 24-hour
train operated by the same company be
tween New York and Chicago. For exam
ple, between New York and North Phila
delphia the time of the Pennsylvania Spe
cial is one hour and 42 minutes, and of the
Chicago Special two hours and two min
utes; between Harrisburg and Altoona
the time Is two hours and 35 minutes for
the Pennsylvania Special arid three hours
and 10 minutes for the slower train; be
tween Altoona and Pittsburg the Penn
sylvania Special saves half an hour over
the time of the Chicago Special; between
New York and Pittsburg the running time
of the 18-hour special is but two hours
and 15 minutes less than that of the 24
hour train, and of this time more than 30
minutes is explained by the longer stops of
i the Chicago Special. West of Pittsburg
the ls-hour train saves four hours over
the time of the Chicago Special, but this
Is- again explained by the more frequent
stops of the slower trains. After leaving
Pittsburg the first stop of the Pennsyl
vania Special is at Crestline, a run of 1SS
miles. The Chicago Special, however,
makes four stops between Pittsburg and
Crestline and four stops between Crestline
and Chicago, as compared with two for
the Pennsylvania Special. East-bound,
the time of the Pennsylvania Special from
Harrisburg to New York is but 15 minutes
less than that of the 24-hour train.
Excessive speed maintained for long dis
tances along lines crowded with traffic Is
undoubtedly a factor of danger when met
with, but this Is not the condition present
In the fast service recently Inaugurated
bet wen Chicago and New York. The phe
nomenal time of these trains Is due rather
to the absence of Interference than to tho
speed of the engines and the excellence" of
the roadbeds. As the operating efficiency
continues to increase, and in response to
the growing demand of the traveling pub
lic an average speed of 50 miles an hour
for 1000 miles, it Is not unreasonable to
expect, will In a few years become a mat
ter of course.
Value of the Great Exposition.
Walla Walla Union.
Someone has said that expositions mark
the progress of time better than any other
tangible Influences of the times. The
Portland Fair I3 contributing a notable
part to the schooling of the great North
west and of the world. There Is nothing
which will make one so well satisfied with
the good things of his city or county and
so disgusted with institutions which are
obsolete as a visit to a great falr,that
mart where the material and Intellectual
wares of the world are exhibited. It
should be a source of great pride to Walla
Walla city and county that in competition
with the great fruit and grain regions of
the world she Is able to furnish the Lewl3
and Clark Fair an exhibit second to none
in the aggregate, and In particular details
outdo them all In excellence. The educa
tlonal value of a skeptic's' visit to the Fair
will be determined by his ability to absorb
new Ideas of Irrigation, the adoption of
improved farm machinery, new dairy
methods and the like. Tho most valuable
thing about fairs, when all Is said, Is the
manner in wnicn new ideas and thoughts,
under the guise of entertainment and
amusement, are left indelibly upon the
The Amenities Up in Umatilla.
Weston Leader.
Boyd, with his usual offenslveness, has
waxed merry because the Leader man
was .gaiiont enougn to carry a young
lady's valise for a few blocks in the su
burban village of Athena, and pilot her
through the miscellaneous debris that
blockaded the sidewalks. His uncouth
mirth reminds one of a blhdrned boval-
apus doing the pas-ma-Ia, and Is qulta
as genteel and graceful. Boyd himself
has about as much Idea of gallantry as
a bow-legged Pl-ute Indianwhich In
deed he would resemble If the nosepaint
he uses should spread itself to the rest of
his knarled and knobby physiognomy. If
the retiring and modest younc ladv whom
ne nas oxaggea into print will agree to
horsewhip" him, the Leader will cheerfully
lurmsn tne Diacksnake and pay her fine.
.Greatest Little Fair Ever KnoAvn.
Baker City Democrat.
Distinguished from all -other national
and International fairs, the Lewis and
Clark Exposition at Portland has proved
a record breaker In many respects, with
an attendance of more than double what
was originally expected the" Fair is al
ready a financial success. It has proved
to be a wonderful educator of the people
from tho East who by the thousands
have visited It. and the people from Eu
rope and the Orient. All of the visitors
to the Fair are agreed that It has been a
true exponent of the resources of the
Northwest, and as the Governor of Idaho
expressed It "It has been the greatest
little fair ever put up."
Why Mr. Smith Retires.
Grant's Pass Herald.
A Change. Owing to his excessive In
dulgence In the flowing bowl It has been
deemed advisable to require T. H. Smith.
former manager and part owner of the
Dally Herald, to sever all connection with
this paper, his interests having been ac
quired by Lee w. Henry, who will hence
forth be editor and manager. Subscribers
and advertisers are respectfully asked to
bear this in mind In extending credit or In
making remittances to the Grant's Pass
Dally Herald.
Beneficial fdr Years to Come.
Union Republican.
Notwithstanding the wails of the croak
ers, we are forced to conclude that the
Lewis ana Clark Fair Is a success. While
It nas cleaned up much of the spare
change in the country districts, the Fair
has proven, an educator as well as an en
tertainer for the people, and a great ad
vertiser for the State of Oregon and the
great Northwest, and Its beneflclal results
will be felt for years to come.
But It's Impossible.
Philadelphia Public Ledger.
He I'd( consider it a great pleasure to
talk to a. woman like Miss Gassaway.
She What! Why. she'd talk you to
.He I said Td consider It a pleasure- to
talk, to hsr, not to. 'listen to'hery'
American Medicine. -The
Practitioner has gone to the trouble
to elicit the opinions of a number of med
ical men concerning the effect of smoking
upon the health. Nothing new or decisive
is reached as a result, and the editor. In
summarizing the discussion, takes the
customary standpoint that abuse", of
course, may be, due to the habit, that tha
custom of smoking by boys Is wrong, but
not sufficiently so to warrant any control
by law. Fun Is, Indeed, pokedat the "fad
dists" who ore seeking to control th
abuse both In this country and England.
Every one 13 to Judge for himself, and the
spirit bf the editorial principle of lalsses
faire Is shown by the quoted Jingle:
Cats may have had their gooae
Cooked by tobacco juice;
Still, whj- deny U use
Thoughtfully taken.
Doubtless, professional opinion as re
gards the use both of alcohol and tobacco
has been often dictated by the personal
habits of many medical writers. The
purely scientific or clinical facts, more
over, are hard to get at. The quesUon Is
not as to the physiologic and single dose,
nor the very moderate use, but relates to
the persistent use, the long-continued
habit, and the effects of overuse and
abuse. No data, are at hand to determine
such questions, and the matter thus comes
down to the attention of careful clinical
observers, the collection of Isolated cases
and facts, and attention spread over many
years by exceptionally shrewd men, both
patients and physicians. There Is an old
story which illustrates too well the atti
tude of some physicians: Strict rules as
to diet, etc. were laid down to the poor
patient by the grand medical adviser, end
ing with a stern command, "and one cigar
after each meal!" In a week the woe
begone sufferer returned worse than ever,
saying: "I have carried out your orders'
doctor, accurately. In everything except
as regards tobacco. I have never smoked
before this, and every time I try to smoke
as you said, after each meal, I become
sick as death, vomit, and it takes 24 hours
to recover. I cannot do it!"
That all agree that habitual smoking,
and especially of cigarettes, bv boys, Is
most injurious. Is a fact which should give
pause to the let-lt-alone advisers. If
harmful to the young why not to those
who are older, particularly if carried to
excess? At least a new clinical law Is
suggested as to the action of drugs on tho
yqung and upon older patients. Again. If
tobacco Is not harmful to men. why
should Women be excluded from the sup
posed harmlessness and admitted pleas
ure of smoking? Some other principle
than an esthetic or social one must be al
lowed to obtain, and one must begin tha
study of the action of the drugs on tho
male as contrasted with the female organ
ism. The morbid effects of much smoking
on special organs, the eye especially the
tongue, and throat, etc.. and frequently
upon other tissues and functions. Is
frankly admitted. It Is m the observation
of every experienced physician that
smoking often has a speedy and decided
effect upon the appetite, digestion, etc.
A study of Idiosyncrasy and the different
effects in Individuals Is evidently highly
desired, and above all, the cumulative re
sults of long habit and excess. What Is
excess? Surely ten cigars or plpefujs a
day is excess, and Is bound to oroduc
ease. Just as surely hundreds of th.
sands of Americans are smokine: to
cess. But excess In Individual cases may
oe oniy tnree cigars, or even one. a day.
Who has sought to determine the condi
tions and signs of the physiologic dose
when habit or slow absorption and subtle
effects are sought? Now factors are also
coming Into play. e. g., the qualities and
morbidity producing conditions of tobacco
from different countries, and from dif
ferent grounds, even from different fac
tories. The rage for luxury and show Is
modifying the growing of tobacco and
manufacture of cigars, and proceeding to
such lengths that cigars, enormous in
size, and powerful In effects, ara
"sported," cigars which cost from 25 cents
to a dollar or more each; and Is It sure
that these expensive cigars contain no
drug- except pure tobacco? It has coma
to our personal knowledge that cases of
severe although mysterious diseases and
ill health have existed in which smoking
was finally demonstrated to be the source
of the mischief, after all other theories
and diagnoses had been proved false. Tha
whole subject needs a rigorously scien
tific investigation. In the meantime busy
pnysicians should be constantly on guard
not to overlook tobacco as an unsuspected
cause of great mischief.
Reflections or a Bachelor.
New York Press.
Most people are such poor managers
that their cost of living goes up even if
prices go down.
There Is a lot more fun being In love and
wishing you were married than not being
and wishing you weren't
When a girl is pretty she knows it with
out your telling It. but you don't do your
self any harm telling her you know It, too.
A man makes a good husband when ho
thinks he Is having a fine time going to
call on the minister to set an example to
the children.
When a man goes to an afternoon tea
and thinks what a good time he could be
having smoked an old pipe at home, ho
has been married long enough to talk
plain English about it on the way home.
Looking: on the Bright Side.
Chicago Tribune.
The doctor had been injured so severely
in a street-car collision that the surgeons
were compelled to amputate his right
"Upon the whole," he said. "It's a lucky
accident. Do you know that In the palm
of the ordinary unwashed band there are
over.SO.000,000 microbes to the square inch?
A man in my profession has to meet all
sorts of people. I shall get an artificial
hand, and hereafter I shall be able to
shake hands with anybody with perfect
Business and Pleasure.
Chicago News.
"Every morning Mrs. A. used to remain
at home and do her churning. Now she
spins post here in her automobile'
"You don't say! Has she given up her
dairy business?"
"Oh, no. Instead of turning the clumsy
old churn she Just places the milk cans In
the automobile and by the time she has
run 20 miles the cream has been shaken
Into butter."
The Golden Girl of Fall.
Chicago Chronicle.
The Summer girl has gone away.
Has vanished from the surging sea;
Her batbtnr suit In colors gay.
Has also disappeared, ah. met -
But noiv the brightest girl of all
Is coming as the plovers call
The prettleet girl, .
The wittiest girl, Vr
The golden girl of Fait
The girl of lace and peekaboo .
Has lately hurried from the stare.
The triumphs of her reign are through
And other girls our minds engage; '
For now the "brightest girl ot all
Is eomtnr as the plovers call ,
The pretUest girl, '
The wittiest girl. . -
The golden girl of Fall.
The Summer girl has had her day "
And now the witching, thing- departs.
But other maidens trip thia'way. . -"
to captivate our wullnx hearts.
For now the brightest girl of&lt
Is coming as the plovers call
The prettleat girl.
The wltUest girl.
The maiden girl ot Fall.
She Is a charming, little maid.
ltia Drone-new nat and Trana-new-gawa.
Demure and Just the least bit staid;
Ana gowned, ot course, in hues of brows.
She Is the brightest girl of alt.
"Who comes when plaintive plovers call
The- prettleat girl, . - : .
The wltUest .girl. , W v
The .golden girl of Fall ; f