Morning Oregonian. (Portland, Or.) 1861-1937, September 20, 1905, Page 8, Image 8

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    THE MORNING OKEGONIAN, WEDNESDAY, SEPTVBfliBER 20, 1905;
Catered t the Potoifle at Portland, Or
aa second-dais matter.
BUnSCKlTXIOX KATES.
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iBy atall or Express.)
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Dtfty and Seaday. per month
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ZaAy without Sunday, six months - a-jjO
Jatty without Sunday, three months... 1.8
Ifctr without Sunday, per mouth .03
CwidM. per year "pjjij
Sunday. x months
Svaday. three months 65
BT CARRIER.
Oittr trtthent Sunday, per week .15
Xily. per week. Sunday included
TUK "WEEKLY ORBGONIAN.
tissued Every Thursday.)
Weekly, pec yesr.... ........ 50
Wetty. stx months
Weekly, three months 00
HOW TO REMIT Send poitofflce money
order. exprees order or personal check, on
rur local beak. Stamps, coin or currency
e at the sender's risk.
EASTERN BUSINESS OFFICE.
The S. C. Bcokwitli Special Agency New
Xerk, rooms it-it Tribune bulldlnc Chl
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PORTLAND. WMMNHSDAY, SEPT. 20, 1005.
DINOLKY1TE 31 1 ASM A.
The tariff revision editorial in the
yittlmrg Gnette, upon which comment
wk msently made In The Oregonian,
has excited attention all over the coun
try. The Democratic New York Times
Jmk at the idea of the Gazette that
the beat and safest revision of the tar ill
wW he 'by It friends and not by its
issaaltt. The friends of the tariff, says
the Times, are those who profit by Its
matfest and manifold iniquities, and
they will never consent to any revision
that diminishes their spoils. It would
be oomfortinsr to be able to reply to
the Times chat it is misinformed and
to assert that the Justice of tariff re
form in the Interest of the consumer is
acknowledged unanimously by Republi
can; hat this cannot be done Just yet.
The moraiag' light Is breaking, the
4arkass disappears; but It is not yet
tall day. Multitudes of Republicans
still amnder In the clouds and mias
matic togs of Diqgleyipm, but increas
imr throngs come dally under convlc
tfaxn of economic sin and emerge into
the Mil ltaiii of the truth of tariff re
form aad reciprocity.
The time is not far off when the epi
thet "standpatter" will become a term
f reproach, or, perhaps, disgrace, like
athrerite. populist. Bryanite. It will in
dicate a feeble and disconsolate rem
nant left behind as their party ad
vances to new ideals and victories. This
remnant will consist of those who shut
their ears to Instruction and harden
their "hearts to admonition. A stiff
necked race upon whom facts have no
influence and arguments are lost. Let
las shout In their ears aain this patent
fact: The tariff must and will be re
formed. If the Republicans raf use the
Uutk. the people will intrust It to the
Iemocratsi.
IORTINl) DAY. SHPTEMBEK. 30.
The Fair management has named
Saturday, September M, as Portland
day at the Exposition, and the people
of the city are to demonstrate whether
September M will really be Portland
day. To be Portland day, a day worthy
of the name, people must attend to a
snaa. It wa this spirit that gave Chl
cg day a record of 7C1.94S admissions,
that rolled a grand total of 404,450 for
St. Louts. 16 424 for Buffalo and 98,845
for Omaha. Portland people have to
show that the same spirit actuates the
citiassts of the Exposition city 'of 1905.
Patriotism takes many forms. It is
not necessarily associated with hurrah
ing for the red, white and blue, or fight
ing la the wars. One form bf patriot
ism is that which Is manifested when a
sreat people stand as one In a matter
that concerns the public weal. Port
land showed such patriotism when its
cltteene subscribed more than $400,000
to launch the Exposition enterprise.
The city has shown it since by sup
porting the enterprise with great cor
diality. The Fair has done much for
the city In more than material ways.
The crowning test of the depth of ap
preciation which Portland people feel is
at hand. What are they going to do?
ARMY OFFICEItS' PAY.
Major-General Corbln gives some very
wholesome advice to young Army offi
cers In regard to living within their
means. While euch advice is applicable
to men in all walks of life, it Is partic
ularly so to officers in the Army,
among whom the temptation to display
and to dissipation at cards or wine is
greater than to men In civil life.
The military man should not only be
dlscoaraged in the acquirement of
tastes and the indulgence of vices that
get him in debt and keep him in debt;
he should, in the view of General Cor
bln. be subjected to discipline the mo
meat he begins to live beyond his
means. A rigid enforcement of this
principle would relieve the Army of the
scandals that attach to it year after
year, and It would conduce. In honest.
snanly fashion, to the improvement of
the service. Let us hope if it is not
beyond hope that the advice of the
veteran military commander will have
due weight with the Commander-in-Chief
of the Army, himself an out
spoken advocate of the "simple life,"
to whloh Army officers are exhorted to
confine themselves.
A few years ago, It will "be remem
bered, GencralsCorbln drew uponhim
self much criticism by opposing the
marriage of young officers In the Army.
The basis of this opinion was that the
salary pf such an officer Was not suffi
cient to enablehlm to maintain a fam
ily and keep oii of debt This opinion
was held to be based upon the false
idea that an Army officer owed It to
his position to maintain a' more ex
pensive style of living than -his pay
wouia Justify. Against It rose the out
cryvery properly voiced that a mar
ried man did not spend more upon the
legitimate needs of a family than a
bachelor officer -spent upon his artifi
cial wants. Hence, if extravagance and
dissipation were to be checked in mili
tary circles, it was necessary, not to
bar marriage out, but to bowl personal
honor and integrity in. General Cor
bin seems, upon due deliberation, to
have accepted this view, since he says:
"The moment an officer Is possessed
with an uncontrollable desire for any
other than the simple life, he should
separate himself from the service and
enter the fields from which the material
rewards admit of more luxurious liv
ing." A good wife being one of the
greatest safeguards of the "simple
life," it Is not unreasonable to suppose
that General Corbln's objection to she
marrJajge of young officers has been
withdrawn.
IDAHO AT WASHINGTON.
"The Portland Oregonian better go
slow talking about lack of influence of
Idaho's Congressional delegation until
its editor can make a little better show
ing for his own state," remarks the
Caldwell (Idaho) News. There are those
who think Oregon is just now making
the best kind of a show nig for itself.
We don't know yet what will happen
in Idaho. We do know it has a Repub
lican Senator who, by his violent and
unreasonable opposition to the Federal
forest reserve policy, has "queered"
-himself with the National Administra
tion. It has a Democratic Senator who
has advertised everywhere that Idaho
Is In the grip of the Mormon octopus,
and that Its political and social life are
dominated by a criminal hierarchy of
polygamlsts. According to the Dubois
gospel, concubinage is the custom and
defiance of law the creed of a large and
influential portion of Idaho citizenship.
According to Heyburn, the President
has entered into a conspiracy with a
few idealists and -visionaries like Pin
chot and Newell to Impoverish and
starve the honest homesteader. It Is
not Mormonism that worries Dubois; It
is what Is going to become of Dubois.
It is not the welfare of the settler that
"concerns Heyfourn; it Is what is going
to become of Heyburn and his friends.
The Idaho Mormons are a frugal. In
telligent and productive people, and it
Is the common testimony of unpreju
diced persons that polygamy has
ceased. If Dubois and his fellow-agitators
thought to require by law any
Mormon who in other days had con
tracted more than one marriage, and
reared several families, to abandon ut
terly all the plural wives but the first,
and their children, he did not under
stand human nature. If Heyburn
thought that, by pounding the empty
drum of his noisy vocabularj-. he could
frighten the National Government into
abandonment of a definite, proper "and
impartial policy as to forest reserves,
he has by this time learned better.
Some day Idaho will learn that It Is
not wise to send to Washington one
Senator with a chip on .his shoulder,
loudly daring the President to knock It
off; and another who acts like a eow
puncher and talks like a schoolboy.
CHII.DRBN AND THE LVW.
The Child Labor Commission, charged
with the special duty of seeing that the
child-labor law of the state is enforced,
is active in the work. While some, and
perhaps all, of the members of the com
mission are in favor of the law as It
stands, their action Is not governed by
personal opinion, but by a high sense
of civic duty which gives them no op
tion in regard to the enforcement of
the law, but bids them look vigilantly
to its enforcement, because it is the law
and they are its instrument.
The 'best way to secure repeal or mod
ification of ah undesirable or Impracti
cal law Is rigidly and literally to en
force It. The brave and far-seeing ex
ecutive officer pursues this course,
while he who is cowardly, weak or
shortsighted helps to put the Injudi
cious law to sleep by ignoring its exist
ence. In the view of many practical men
and women of the business, social and
domestic world, the child-labor law now
upon our statute-books, in some of its
requirements at least, intermeddles
with matters that are of private rather
than of public concern, usurps the
parental prerogative and defeats the
very end at which responsible parental
effort alms the bringing up of children
to habits of Industry. The children of
a former generation were brought up in
accordance with the view expressed in
the declaration that
Satan finds eatae mischief etill
For idle hands to do.
This statement finds verification in
every neighborhood during a long vaca
tion season, in which large numbers of
children are left to their own devices.
Great, hulking boys, old enough and
strong enough to earn during this
period money sufficient to buy their
books and much of their clothing for
the ensuing school year, roam about In
idleness under the restrictions of this
law, terrorize small boys, pull down
fences, deface buildings, torment -and
often torture cats and other weak
creatures, and in these and various
other ways learn the flr6t lessons in
crime. This is a fact so well known
that it is not necessary to cite examples
in support of it.
The great problem in bringing up
boys In a city so they will jiot form
themselves into predatory "gangs" is
that of devising ways and means to
keep them busy. This does not mean
that drudgery beyond their strength
and long hours of labor should be the
portion of boys during the vacation
season, or at other times, when cir
cumstances require that they should
engage in remunerative employment.
But it does mean that the boy who is
employed at work that he is able to do
steadily employed when out of school
is on the high road to good citizen
ship, while his classmate who idles the
long vacation period away contracts. In
the formative years of character, habits
of idleness and irresponsibility that are
the arch foes of good citizenship.
The chief objection to the child-labor
law, and to other laws that seek to
control individual action In the ordi
nary vocations of life, is that. In the
very nature of things, they cannot dis
criminate. Here is an Industrious lad
who Is anxious, as cited In court the
other' day, to earn a few dollars by
watering lawns In the Summer time. If
Tunder 16 years of age, he would. In
performing this simple,- healthful ser-
vice, be violating the law, which for
bids children up to the age of 16 years
to engage In any employment after 6
o'clock In the evening or before 7
o'clock in the morning. This Is. of
course, an extreme case, but it Is at
least a supposable one, the list of
which might be' Indefinitely extended.
That the Intent of our child-labor
law Is good cannot be disputed; that
there is need of a law for the pro
tection of" children from mercen
ary parents and greedy employers
is equally true, while to frame a law
that will cover these cases without
meddling in the affairs of responsible
parents and honorable and just busi
ness men is exceedingly difficult. The
child-labor law of the state may not
be the best that can be enacted. But.
such as It Is, It should be enforced, as
thereby Its Inconsistencies will be dis
closed. Against fthe old-fashioned pre
cept that Idleness, not work, is the
bane of childhood looking, of course,
to the ultimate this law protests.
Whether It will make good its conten
tion or not, a later generation must
decide.
TIIE CASE OF MR. SCHURZ.
The case of Frank J. Schurz, accused
of burglary and held by the court for
the action of the grand jury, presents
certain points of remarkable Interest.
It Is worthy of a more careful stud
than such cases usually receive. The
burglary, real or imagined, was com
mitted by some person who entered the
room where Elizabeth Busch and her
little sister Freta slept. Freta cried
out; Elizabeth "leaped from her bed";
some conversation with the burglar en
sued; Elizabeth started to go to her
father's room and the burglar fled, leav
ing behind him the odor of chloroform.
Schurz, who lived next door, is accused
of the crime, and his defense is an alibi.
The validity of the alibi reposes upon j
the metaphysical 'postulate that the
same body cannot be in two places at
the same time. Schurz attempts to
show that when the burglary
of which he is accused was com-
m4tted he was in bed with his stepson.
The criminal, appeared In Elizabeth
Bu sen's room, as she says, at MM
o'clock in the night. Schurz left his
work at 9 o'clock on that night and
went home; and his stepson, Daniel, a
boy of 14, knows where he was from
the moment he entered the house until
morning. He ate his supper, chatted a
while with Daniel, and then went to
bed, lying with his arm under the
boy's head. This, It seems, was their
habit, and the fact Is Important. For,
if Daniel bad only laid his head acci
dentally on his stepfather's arm for
that one occasion, Schurz might have
removed it when he was asleep with
out rousing him; but if that was the
boy's habitual position in his sleep, the
disturbance would have been almost
certain to wake him up. Sleeping hab
its are as strong as waking ones. Any
change in a person's usual position
during slumber, even a slight change,
will break his rest, and the change
which Schurz must have effected to re
move Daniel's head from his arm was
by no means slight. Add to this the
disturbance he could not avoid in get
ting out of bed and dressing himself,
and It will be seen how extremely un
likely it was that he could have done it
all without waking the boy. But Dan
iel did not waken then, nor during the
Interval while Schurz must have been
away if he committed the burglary.
Now a person in the habit of sleeping
with another will almost Invariably
waken when his mate leaves the bed.
even if his position is not disturbed.
All animals are highly sensitive to the
absence of their bed companions, and
humans as much so as any. The loss
of the usual sensations of touch and
warmth will be missed In the deepest
sleep; the slumber will be broken and
consciousness restored. Daniel did not
waken, however, while Schurz ' was
away; and, more wonderful still, he
continued to sleep during the commo
tion his stepfather must have made in
re-entering the room, undressing, get
ting into bed and replacing Daniel's
head upon his arm. For when, later
In the night, the boy did awaken, he
found his head exactly where It was
when he feel asleep. All this is impos
sible to believe. Either Daniel does not'
tell the truth, or Schurz never left the
bed after he first lay down that night.
He could not have removed the boy's
head from his arm, got up and dreseed,
remained absent during a certain Inter
val, come back, undressed, got back
into bed and replaced the head, without
rousing Daniel from his sleep.
But there is no reason to believe that
Daniel Schurz does not tell the truth,
and It must be granted, therefore, that
his stepfather has established an alibi.
Frank J. Schurz could not have been
In Elizabeth Busch's room on the night
of the alleged burglary. But Elizabeth
testified that he was in her room and
that she knew his voice and face. Sl.ce
it must have been dark, her knowing
the burglar's face was an extraordinary
circumstance, as she herself must have
realized later, for on cross-examination
she revised this statement and admit
ted that she did not recognize Schurz'
features. What the burglar said to her
was also remarkable. "Lizzie," his
question was, "where Is your father's
money?" This is exactly what an
Imaginative girl would put into a burg
lar's mouth If she were writing a novel,
but It is much too ingenuous for fact.
By calling her "Lizzie" he betrayed that
he was Intimate with the family, which
Is the last thing Schurz would have
done If he had broken Into his neigh
bor's house. He might as wel have said
"I am Schurz." If the burglar really
had been an Intimate,- he would have
done his best to hide the fact. If he
had been a stranger, on the other hand.
he would not have known that her
name was Lizzie.
She told the burglar, she testifies.
that her fathers money was In the
blacksmith shop, but he made np use
of the Information. He did not go there
to get the money, rie did not try to
compel Elizabeth to show him the way
to the shop. He fell, It would seem,
into a state of profound contemplation.
As for Elizabeth, she did not scream o:
make any other effort to rouse the
neighbors. She deliberated for a time
with great calmness. It appears from
her testimony, and then started to go
to her fathers room. -The burglar
made no attempt to hinder her. Of
course he did not know where she was
going, or what for, but the very fact of
her moving at all seemed to scare him
and he climbed out of the window and
ran away. All this Is Incredible. If the
burglar's intention had been to chloro
form Elizabeth while she was asleen.
he would have run away at once when
she Jumped out of bed, "without walling
to betray himself by conversation. He
would have seen that his plan had
failed and his. only object would have
been to escape. He could gain nothing
by remaining except detection. If Tie
had some other Intention, what did he
bring the chloroform and open it for,
as Elizabeth testifies he did?
The key to such mystery as this case
Involves lles-iti the purchase by Schurz
of lfi cents' worth of chloroform fo kill
a cat and doctor a horse. A girl at the
age when Imagination Is active and
conscience woak learns of this purchase
by her next-door neighbor. She dis
cusses with her little sister what terri
ble things Schurz might "do with his
chloroform. In the night following, the
little sister rehearses the conversation
in a dream and shrieks in, her sleep
with fright. Elizabeth, wakened by the
shriek, springs out of bed. imagines she
sees Schurz before her, and flies in a
panic to her father's room. The con
versation with the chimerical burglar
a literary gift much Inferior to Eitza-beth's-would
readily supply as It was
needed- to round out the tale. Mr.
Schurz is not the first man whore lib
erty has been endangered by the too
active imagination of a child. Criminal
records contain many similar cases,
and it is a thought not altogether pleas
ant that defense against. such accusa
tions Is always difficult and sometimes
impossible.
The London Morning Post," apropos
of the question of public education in
England, calls attention to the fact that
the English have not yet devised meth
ods similar to those In operation in this
country for the utilisation of their pub
lic libraries as a means of assisting in
the educatipn of children. It is pointed
out that there is no special room for
children to read in at the British Mu
seum, and that that vastbulldlng con
tains nothing specially adapted for their
pleasure or their profit. In the main
reading-room the announcement stands
that "no person under 21 years of age
is admissible except under a special or
der from the trustees." and the Post
asks the question: What becomes of
the children's books that under the
statute law of the kingdom have to be
sent by their publishers to the mu
seum? In contrast to this, nearly all
the public libraries of the United States
give to every child above a certain
age as liberal. an opportunity as is ac
corded in his playground or school, and
that in this way the library is utilised
in a .manner which finds no counterpart
in British experiences.
President Angell, of the University of
Michigan, takes note of the general
craze for athletics and declares that It
would be impossible and unfair to pre
vent students from participating In the
craze. No one objects to rational col
lege athletics. Reformers protest at
the excesses of the games. Profession
alism and brutality of football are feat
ures that college management can and
should eliminate. On the one hand, ex
cesses spoil the sport; on the other,
they interfere with the educational
spirit of the Institutions.
Steamship experts figure the cose to
the army of Americans who went to
Europe last Summer by the New York
trans-Atlantic lines at upward of $1S.
SM.oM. This sum includes, besides
passage money and traveling expenses,
the necessary tips on land and sea. If
the cost to vacationists taking passage
at other ports were estimated, the total
would be perhaps 2S per cent more, for
travel this year has been heavy beyond
all precedent. The country's prosperity
is considered responsible for it.
The Forestry building at the Exposi
tion crounds. at once the wonder and
delight of visitors and the pride of citi
zens of the Pacific Northwest, together
with it ltf comm-isins: two acres of
land, very properly becomes the prop
erty Qf the City of Portland. The price
to be paid is a reasonable one. and the
unique structure will remain an object
lesson that will give more than a pass
ins slimnse of the forest wealth of a
wide area, from which the specimens
were, here and there, taken.
The Prlnevllie press bureau continues
to spread Its output through such ave
nues as will accept it. First it frames
a lot of resolutions denouncing The
Oregonian. which it persuades an
anonymous "Business Men's League" to
adopt; next it prepares and publishes
a long and troubled article on The Ore
gonian, which it gets a worthy citizen
named WurseHer 10 sign. We shall
learn from the Federal Court in a few
days just how efficient the labors of the
Prmeville press bureau are.
In the opinion of Dan McAllen, pro
moter of the late baby show at the Ex
position, he "will never be through with
the affah." And he should not be.
Proud and grateful mothers by the
score and the hundred will and should
remember hlnj, and point to" the pretty
medals so generously bestowed upon
their children a conclusive evidence
that he was the right man in the right
place on Baby day at the Lewis and
Clark Exposition.
Establishment of the wool scouring
plant in Portland is the beginning of
big things in textiles. It will not be
many years before this city occupies
the same relation to the wool Industry
of the country that Grand Rapids does
to the manufacture of furniture. This
generation has seen only the start.
The Drain Normal is running on
funds -pledged by local business men to
carry on the work. This is as it should
be. if the people of Drain want a nor
mal school that serves practically their
own Interests. There Is- no help like
self-help. It is over and above all un
friendly criticism.
President Harper, of the University
of Chicago, has been obliged once more
to submit to the surgeon's knife. There
is no use concealing the -fact that this
useful man is In the shadow. He
knows, and his physicians and friends
know, that his malady is incurable.
The sun made its appearance in Mis
souri and lyansas yesterday, after two
weeks rain. Meanwhile we are having
a genuine Kansas drouth. In Oregon
almost all but the grasshoppers and
the crop failures.
Senator Thomas: C. Piatt, of New
York, has,, a National reputation as an
"artful dodger." This he Is keeping up
by his" successful evasion- of the service
of papers in his overdue breach-of-promlse
suit.
Again Emperor Nicholas comes to
the front as promoter of universal
peace. No country needs It worse than
his own: Blessid are the peacemakers.
Mr. Bryan tarries from his trip
around the world to attend a Demo
cratic State Convention in Nebraska
They.haa.to have" a quoranu., '." ;
0REG0N0Z0NE
On the Shnstn Route. 4 '
"Are we getting close to Shasta?"
Asked the tourist, in dospair;.
And the porter then reported:
"Don't you feel it in the air?'.
But there was no sign of Shasta,
And the eager tourist cast a
Glance of scorn and tore his hair.
"Say. when DO we get the Shasta.?"
Asked the angry passongalre.
The conductor softly answered:
."Juel as soon as we are there."
Then he whizzed and hurtled past- a
Mountain rbut It wasn't Shasta,
For It had no snowy glare.
Then the man. who knew his Shasta
Touched the button by his ohalr.
And the waiter with the apron
Brought a glass of water rare;
And the wag remarked: "At lasl a
Fellow gets a glimpse of Shasta."
And he drank it he was there.
No Matches IScqulretl.
"How did this terrible forest fire
get startod? inquired the tenderfoot
from Indiana.
"Well, you see," replied the obliging
Oregon man. "last week me an' Si
Hanks wuz up In the (Mountains on. a
huntln trip, an' Si wuz 'bout seven
miles from camp an' wanted to light
his pipe."
"Oh, I see and he tnrew down the
lighted match and set the woods afire."
"No. you don't see. Jest lemrae tell
my story. St wanted te light his pipe.
He had put a bunch' of match os in his
pocket the night before, Iri the dark.
St kep a-congratulatin' himself on
harinjc a-plenty of matches, an' he
waited till he could git to a nice flat
rock where he could set down an'
smoke an drink in the Insplrln' scen
ery. SI wuz jest as eager for that smoke
as a tomcat is for his dinner when he
sees a bewl o cream with the klver
off. Finally Si' seen a big rock the finest
rock for a seat In the hull State of
Oregon, and the finest piece o' seenery
from .Puget Sound to Mexico. SI set
down, pulled out his old pipe an' filled
it full o the best tobaeker that grows.
Then he reached In his pocket for a
match, and fetched out a wooden
toothpick. He dove in ag'In an' fetched
out another. Then he pulled out the
hull bunch o matches an' found they
wui nothin' but toothpicks. Nary a
match nothin' to eat an' no use for
toothpicks an seven miles to camp.
An then Si Hanks set the forest afire."
"I don't see how he eould do that, if
he had no matches," said the dubious
tenderfoot.
"Ye don't huh?"
"I certainly don't."
"Well. Si Hanks jest naturally set
them woods an re with the llghtnin' of
his. wrath."
Chicken Soup Lake.
The Portland man. the Illlnolsan and
the CaMfornhtn were in the smoking com
partment of the Pullman, discussing ho
tete. The Calif ornian had told some altl
tudlnous talcs about the fine service of
certain hotels in his state.
."But we shejtldn't boast." he sahl, "for
we have such a wonderful state. By the
way. do you like chicken soup?"
"Do I?" exclaimed both the other pas
sengers, in duet time. "Well, I should
cackle! Chicken soup for me. and none J
other need apply."
"Then you ought to come down to my
town." said the Callfornhin. "There's- a
hotel there the place Is In Mono County
where they serve natural chicken soup."
"Pardon me. friend." the Illinois man
said, "but may I ask what you mean by
natural chicken soup?"
"I mean just that; in our town wo do
not have to kill chickens to make soup.
We have a lake, near by. one of our
numerous hot springs, that is a very fine
substitute for chicken soup. In fact, all
you have to do is to sprinkle a little salt
and pepper in it and drink It right off. or
eat it. whichever to the proper word for
the consumption of soup. It is just the
right temperature for serving when taken
from the lake. Traveling men declare
it is much better than the average chick
en soup you will get at a hotel."
The Portland man looked from the
window with a far-away glance in his
eyes. But the HHnotean stared steadily
at the Californian. and remarked:
"I dare say it is better than the average
hotel chicken soup; but that Isn't saying
much. What I want to know is this:
Does your natural soup have any feathers
la It?"
We men should never be profane.
There is no use at all to-cuse
When 'round us all ('tis very plain)
Are silent swear-words, made for us.
We might as well be singing psalms
Or telling goody-goody yarns.
Since all the mills are full of dams
And all our socks are full of darns.
P.OBERTUS LOVE. "
"Mrs. Wiggs," Author-Banker.
North American.
"No. indeed, I do not intend to aban
don my literary career. It Is true that I
am interested In the organization of a,
bank, but I shall not let anything inter
fere with my writing." In this statement
Mrs. Alice Hegan Rice, author of "Mrs.
Wlggs of the Cabbage Patch." conveyed
pleasure to thousands of her admirers.
When the' announcement that Mrs. Bice
was going into the banking business was
made men. women and even children all
over the country felt a pang of re grot,
.for they thought that nothing more from
her pen would appear to charm the lov
ers of delightfully tokl stories. But Mrs.
Bice herself bas set their fears at rest.
"The enterprise In which I am to be In
terested will be a National bank with a
capital stock of J20,C0." continued Mrs.
Bice. "Associated with me are my hus
band. Cale Young Bice: W. O. -Head and
L. M. Bice. Just what position. If any, I
will hold has not been decided."
Naturally.
Chicago Tribune.
The guide, who was taking a party of
American excursionists through the Holy
Land, called a halt.
"Here." he said, "Is the place where
Lot's wife looked back and wag turned
into a pillar of salt."
"J don't see no evidences of her," ob
jected the tall, slender Missourian with
the chin board, looking around, search
Ingly. The gentleman will remember." re
joined the guide, "that the" incident took
place thousands, of years ago, and there
have been many hard rain storms since
then."
' . A Wise Child. t
Le Rlrc
Nurse The Idea of a -big boy like you
making his "nurse pull his boots ,off!
What will you do when you are grown 'up
and have no nurse? - .
Little Boy When I grow up Til be a po
liceman, and' all policemen have nurses.
NOTABLE PHASEOF PROHIBITION
Washington Poet.
It Is a rather remarkable fact that, al
though the Democracy, as a National or
ganization, has Iways been opposed to
"sumptuary law's," such as statutory pro
hibition of the liquor traffic, the roost and
the best kind of prohibition Is now found
In the few states that are solidly plan ted
In the Democratic columns. The Boston
Globe notes with Interest that while Maine
is growing more and more uneasy about the
system of prohibition, and setting ready
for a campaign of resubmission to the
people of the whole question, Georgia and
South Carolina are earnestly talking pro
hibition. The Globe states that already
in Georgia 108 counties have no license. 18
ha-e dispensaries, and six have high j
urcuac. xnv enors now is, say wrc vriwe. i
to hare the Legislature provide a ays-
T8" t
uflfL -ate optton" undr which the
high-license privilege which the six coun
ties enjoy would be wiped out. OurBos
ton contemporary adds that:
In South Carolina there is a reaaarkabla
tnovoiaoat to ctaao up the dlea onaarhw. and
Sfcaator TUhaan propose to leave the eaea
tlon to the Democratic arhaary. The Prohlbl
tioRlata In South Carottna. as welt aa la
Georgia, are eoaMent that their cause will
win If preteatad to the utoole.
At the mm time it h curlews that the aa
aeaeats at prohibitum la 3iaine ad Kansas,
where the syatem ba been bieS, are as "eea
Meat that the people are ready to vote agalast
a coRtlnuence of the present regime as the
Georgian and South CaroirnUa prolUhttJoatota
are that their cae needs only to he presented
to Sad acceptance at the hands of the people.
The Post Is In receipt of a very long and
Intensely earnest communication. - f rotn a
South Carolina Democrat who. after ap
plying to the liquor trade In his state all
the epithets that used to be hurled at the
rumsellers and their places of business m
Maine 9 years ago, closes by quoting
this stanza, from a song that was sung at
temperance meetings In New nghud by
the grandparents of the present genera
tion: Tell mm I hat the taw!?
Hate Is a fee Me ward;
I loathe, ahhorr. ay ry st.
Wits, atrona; dlagnsc b stirred
When I ee. or hear, or ten
Of the dark beverage of hell!
State prohibition has scored a record of
more than half a century of continuous
and conspicuous failure, but Its advocates
are undaunted by this experience. As
their prospects grow dftrhef year by year,
their confidence. In final triumph becomes
stronger. At this tune, according to the
Boston Herald, the Sheriff's deputies In
soma Muine cities are carrying things
with a very high hand In their attempts
to discover liquor that has been illegally
Drought into the state. The Herald re
lates:
A woman talendlnr to stay through the
month of September at a beach rrasrt tot
Maine attracted the attention of one of Sher
iff FeRneU's lynx-eyed deputies becauee she
was carrytoe a heavy trunk. He Ml d It
and carted It off to the Sheriff storeroom.
There It was opened evidently the woman was
not prerent. for the report sajes that the lock
was forced and was found to contain only
clothes and some package of breakfast food.
The owner of the trunk was. of course, de
layed by this forced examination of her oas;
gage. There should he sonM way to prevent
a repetition of such high-handed proceeding.
The State of Maine draws a very large amount
of money from Summer visitors, and It la
questionable whether It can afford to dla
coaunode them In thlc way by the 111 -Judged
searching- of travelers' baggage.
The Post would not recommend so ex
treme a remedial measure as the boycott,
for that is Justifiable only in desperate
cases, but there is no doubt that a little
of it. say a, homeopathic dose, would be
found wonderfully efficacious- in ridding
htdy visitors in Maine of the mortifying
annoyance of having their baggage seised
.and ransacked by Deputy Sheriffs.
HOW TACOMA REGARDS IT
Thinks the North Bank Railroad a
Benefit All Around.
Tacoma Ledger.
The construction of this line is. how
ever, an open Invasion of the Harrhnan
territory, and every effort will be made to
block the way by the attempted construc
tion of the "Wallula Pacific" In the In
terests of the O. K. & N. Tacoma may
regard the fight for the possession of
the north bank of the Columbia with sat
isfaction, as the inevitable outcome will
be a new line of direct communication
from Tacoma to Southern and Eastern
Washington. The Northern Pacific now
extends from Tacoma not only to Kalama.
but on to Vancouver, and the construc
tion of the line connecting Vancouver
with AVallula will give Tacoma railroad
connections with a belt of country now
inaccessible. To be sure. Portland will
benefit primarily by the new line, but by
no means exclusively, and Tacoma occu
pies the strong position on Puget Sound
for all traffic by this route to what must
be, after all. the great center to which
the traffic of "the Pacific Northwest mu
gravitate. Portland occupies about the
same relation to the Puget Sound cities
as Philadelphia does to New York. The
Pennsylvania Railroad strikes a seaport
at Philadelphia, but its traffic moves on
to New York.
Another almost absolutely certain result
of the construction of the new line along
the north bank of the Columbia In- the
interest of the Northern Pacific will be
the construction of the Harrlman Mite
from Portland to Puget Sound. This will
bring the O. R. A N. and the Southern
Pacific to Tacoma. When the Harrinuut
system comes to the Sound the Great
Northern will retaliate by going on to
Portland, and the extension of the Cana
dian Pacific to Seattle. Tacoma and Fort
land will inevitably follow. The move
just taken by the Northern Pacific seems
to lead logically and assuredly to the ex
tension of the Portland roede to the
Sound cities and the Canadian Pacific ami
Great Northern 'to Portland. All of them
murt of necessity come to Tacoma. and
Tacoma's position as to all the lines com
ing from the Columbia River Is, the best
on the Sound. The rail haul will' end
and the steamship haul begin here.
Cotv Londcd With Dj-namiie.
North American.
Chris Benzpnhower's cow. Liza, of New
Castle. Ind.. has a whole field to herself
since she ate five or six pounds of dyna
mite yesterday.
Her owner, who Is a prosperous farmer.
beliey.es that she Is about to blow up. and
he doesn't want any of the rest of his
stock to be Injured by flying fragments of
Liza when she explodes.
The cow was strolling along the -bank
of a. creek, where some men are excavat
ing, when she saw the dynamite, tasted
it. liked It, and swallowed the entire Vis
ible supply. One of the workmen saw
the last stick disappearing. He called Lisa
"pretty sookle" and "nice ok! so-boes."
as a means of keeping her quiet while
he led her slowly away from her com
panions. It is said that if she bad kicked
up her heels or been ' at all boisterous
there would have been no further need
for blasting at the craek
The neighbors are watching Liza from
a distance, but the cow, unmindful of
her peril. Is alternately browsing and
chewing her cud. as though she rather
orfjoyed being a bovine firecracker.
Looking for a Good Design.
Life.
First American Alllllonalre What in
the world are you going over to see all
the English. cathedrals for?
Second American Millionaire I'm put
ting up an automobile stable, and I'm'
looking for something handsome in de
sign. Ills Happiest Hour.
Echo de Purls.
He Do you remember the night I
asked you to marry 'me?
Shc Yes, dear. ,
r "For a, whole hour we sat there, and
not a word did you speak. Aa, that was
.the happiest hour of my lite."
BIG TIM'S TAMMANY 'PIGNIC.
New York Sun.
The campaign will now begin. Tim Sul
livan, Big Tim, has had his outing. Five
thousand constituents of the Sixt not
te mention deadheads, have paid their $3
for an eel breakfast, a beer dinner, the
privilege of marching behind the Paul
Kelly drum corps and the chance to buck
the tiger without annoyance. The func
tion, however. lacked the snap and ginger
of former years, because it rained, and
you can't really enjoy a Tammany out
ing la the rain.
Big Tim's fleet, the Cygnus and Sirius,
were moored at the foot of East Third
street at 16 o'clock, when the Ware of
oands proclaimed that the chief was com-
m He rMje n0 prancing Charger. He
M f,. ,tfe wore an
tralb) nn frvnt -rrlth ft twni) hfiforfi and-
whtft yacntlns caps, marked down
to 47 cents, bobbing behind. With the
caps went 50P0 T-cent canes.
The nagship nred a salute of corks, the
faro-dealers and roulette men. the oper
ators of bookmakers' wheel and Cali
fornia poker, spread their green cloths
on beer barrels and got busy. The 5000
stalwarts filed aboard. The flagship toot
ed, the longshoremen on the dock raised
a cheer and they were off two steamers
and 30 games of chance.
You rould take your pick. Up in the
cabin of the Cygnus Big Tim was sitting
in at a game whose limit nearly blew off
the roof. Down on the lower deck by
the bar the ' ehuck-a-luck dealer refusea
no reasonable bet. from a dime up.
"Now, gents." he said he was one of
those confidential dealers with a. voice
like a phonograph getting started "try
your chuck-a-luck-a-luck. Two arrows
on one number pay double and three
triple. You may get 75 cents for your
money. Ace, four and five pay. G'wan.
that's the ace. Wasthematterwkljou? A
quarter for you. sir. and here's where
you make your fortunes. Who's the
next? In two seconds the' wheel will go
round."
The hopes of the Democracy fell over
one another to ehuck dimes and quarters
on the board.
. -
Over in the corner "bookmaker's
wheel," a game like roulette but twice
as fast, did a rushing business. By the
gangway a man with one eye. which
never lost sight of the bank, was deal
ing "California, poker" as fast as his
fingers could go. This, also, is a quick
preposition. They had to be quick about
it. because Big Tim had said that no
apparatus could be brought ashore, and,
as the dealer explained. "California.
poker" gives the bank only 15 per cent.
On the upper deck a dozen piker games
of poker were going on and in the cabin
chips were rattling where Big Tim and
the. elect were lifting the limit. Of all
the celebrities oA board Tom Sharkey
alone kept out of games. Tom doesn't
believe In gambling for Tom. Ever and
anon he went downstairs and buried his
face up to the celebrated cauliflower ear
in a bootleg of beer. Between times he
sat on deck and drew morals from the
fate of Jimmy Britt.
The fleet was moving meantime and the
riverfront was saluting. The tugs all
tooted as they passed the flagship, with
the banner of the Sullivan Hung to the
breeze. Excursion steamers bound up
the Sound read the poster of the Sulli
van Association and answered with hand
kerchiefs. Along the Islands up the
river the guards and employes, mindful
of their jobs, stood at quarters and sa
luted. At Blackwell's Island the guards
stood on the breakwater and fired all
their spare cartridges into the river. It
would have been a great time for a
prison break, if the prisoners had only
known It. Those who were broke, or
those who couldn't get near enough to
the games to Invest, rushed to the rails
until the steamer sagged.
. '
Tbert! was also a rush to the other
side, as there has been on all the Col
lege Point excursion boats this Summer,
to see North Brother Island and the
beach where the Slocum grounded. The
hand stopped playing at this point, which
has also been a custom of this Summer.
All the tributes to his popularity did
not stir the greatest of the Sulllvana.
He was tight In his cabin, bluffing Flor
rte with two deuces.
The two bands and the Paul Kelly
Drum Corps piped the five thousand off
the boat and into a procession at Col
lege Point and Inte the pavilion where
the head waiter was waiting lor tnem
with Ifle tip-hungry assistants and bar
rels of claim fritters and fried eels. That
head waiter is a wonder. He is a cross
between a Socialist orator and a bucko
mate.
Every time he gives an order to his
corps he waves both hands like a. pitcher
getting up steam, tears out a handful
of hair, strains three vocal cords and
kicks his nearest Italian assistant. When
he grows tired and hot he stoops over
a table, lifts g. corner of the cloth and
mops his face with it.
The Paul Kellys and the remnants of
the Monk Eastmans, the Fraternal Or
der of Eagles and the plain citizens of
the Bowery filled two big dining-rooms.
Biscuits were first on the bill of fare.
The head waiter shot 5 biscuits at the
first table, where sat forty Paul Kellys.
They got only half way round. The first
In line broke off biscuits In strings and
stowed them in their laps, in case of
future shortage. One Paul Kelly wrapped
up eight biscuits in a handkerchief.
'I paid to come," he said, "and It
ain't wort' half the money. Here's where
I get back S cents."
Fried eels and dam fritters faded away
by the barrel. The head waiter had
spasms trying to get the coffee down
the line fast enough. When he fafled the
Monk Eastmans and the Paul Kellys
stood on benches and hammered their
plates with their knives. Big Tim. over
in the corner, began to look worried. The
Aead- waiter tore off three more fits and
a spasm and relieved the thirst. The dining-room
said "Ah!" in chorus and
stopped making dough balls out of hot
biscuits. Big Tim sighed visibly with
relief.
It began to rain about this time. The
Oxfords and Timothy D. Sullivans, who
were going to play a match game of
baseball, called It off. The youths who
had been tuning up to contest for the
beautiful gate and game prizes cut it out
and went up stairs to the billiard room,
where forty games of- poker opened on
the instant. Big Tim sauntered up to
a private box in one corner of the room,
gathered ten henchmen, and the big game
went on all the afternoon. The wet
took the starch out of the Paul Kellys.
It wilted the remnant of the Monk East
mans'. They lay down like lions and
lambs in the shadow of a wagon-shed
and pitched 'quarters.
Everybody In Tammany was there.
Senator Fitzgerald was asked to write
out a list of the honorables and Judges
and commissioners. Beginning with Big
Tim and Little Tim and Borough Presi
dent Ahearnf he wrote 25 names out of
his memory and quit because his hand
was tired.
-Those are a few that I remember,"
said Mr. Fitzgerald.
It rained .all the evening and the crowd y
got home without .a fight.
' At the Market Price.
Fllogende Blatter.
. "Baron, what did you give your boys
for birthday presents?"
"Soldiers." "
"And yopr daughter?"
"I bought'- her one, too--a Lieuten
ant." AH She Needed.
Translated fori Tales.
Old maid dlii I could- be so faith
ful if only I had someone to be faith
ful to' '