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About Morning Oregonian. (Portland, Or.) 1861-1937 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 14, 1905)
THE 3I03EiyENTG OREGONIA2f, TinmSpA. SEPTEMBER 14, 1905. Entered at the Postofnce at Portland. Or., a cecond-olass matter. SUBSCRIPTION KATES. (By Mall or Express.) Batty hbA Buaday. per year 9-2 Utailj- aod Sunday, six rnonthi j. 6-00 DmUt end Sunday, three months 2. jo Sail and Sunday, per month XalVr witbiMit Sunday, per year Xaasb7 without Sunday, tlx. months 3.00 Daily withont Snaday. three months... 1-85 TaJi without Sunday, per month .j5 tWav. per yoar J a4. Hx MONthC State), thre months - BY CARRIER. AaAf -aitbowt Swnday, per week Batty, per week, Svndsy Included Tag WBBKLY ORBGONIAN. (lecuei. Every Thursday.) Weekly. r y-r "Weilj-. stx months WortUy. U-rao months U9W TO IUOIIT Sond postofnco money -order, express order or personal check on ymmr SocsU bank. Stamps, coin or currency at tlM sender's risk. BASTJtHN BCSIXESS OFFICE. The S. C. Beokwlth Special Acency New Torfc. room Trlbeae bulldlnc. Chl- otc. roeana MO-alS Tribune building. KEPT ON SALE. CMhw AodUnrlww Ajumhc. PoeteCftce c, 17 Dearborn atroeC KoNa, Tea- Globe Xewa Donot. 3 Main we' j SMiHMir JuliuP Black. Hamilton A Kfa- rtrk '.! Seventeenth atreet; Pratt Book tor. 1214 Fifteenth atreet. e Maine. Jh. Moot Jacob. Fifth MeM. Vev. F. 8aadatron: Oaty Maw. iKsm Csf. Xn. Rlcstneekor Csr Co., XtatM and Wamnt. U Angelc -Harry :rmpA. . K. Amos. 44 m ! oth street; XMliara Jw . MwiaiiiHM. J. KavasMUtgti. South OwIim4. O. Jansee Pastmw. 7 Superior York CHj" L. Jonoa Co.. AMsr ljuUtb- C. N. J. SBM Taylor. 27 Jrth Oakland. CaL W. R. Jotsswdon. Fourteenth ad I rjr.kiia streets. Ottdoa :ddard & Barron and Meyera & Marr..p. l I.. Boyle, SMsnisw BarkaJoar Bros.. 11S Jfaraam: Xar atb svaUonery Co.. IMS Far nam; 24 :- Hth ;niwnainaiu. Owl, ganii mania Nm Co.. Moot Later -8a It t-nke Wear Oo.. 77 Woet ftec-ind miwi tfoath; National Kwa Auest'. YHowidoiu Vj. Canyon Hotul. lk H..t. i. YrilomMoar Park Aaaa. !Uana: lOnnrb B B. Amos. mmm lrawH in J. K. Ctvnper A Co.. 74S Mot G-ldtnUh Bros.. 236 Sntter iHH) ! St Franrta News 8tnd; U. K. i. Jv:.-,.- Hotel Na Stand; P. W. Pitt. HM. M..rk--:; Frank Scntt. 80 KIU; K. Wi.ii:!. Movable Ni Stand,, corner Mar ati1 K amey atresia; Foatr & Oroar, F'l i Xrm Stand. M. tatnVs Ma B. T. Jett Book & Xews Cotwpant . MM Olive street. WaaMMctm. W. t". Bbbitt Monae. Peanayl xania at . 3KTIaX. tWlUltaiMY. SKIT. 14, 1905. MR. KKYAN OS Titl'ST COXTItOI. In hit- speaxii before the Jeffemon Club at Chtcacn on September 12. Mr. Bryan recurred to the old fcjptte between t-mtralised and popular government. Thh remarkable man has always been dkatinnruiabed for heat and persistency rather than for lacMtrjr of thought. His lofVic invariably leads him to the conclusion he wlshe to reach, but it is by r.a:h m-hich one needs great mental suppleness to follow. In this speech it is impossible by any intellectual acro batic abort of those of the born orator to follow him from premise to conclu alou. though Mr. Bryan himself m&kep the difficult transit with agility and irrace. Bryan's argument, strange as It may rem to those who are familiar with Mr. Bryan's terse. almoBt taciturn, x style of eloquence, admits of great condensation. It consists .of two prem ise, both fame, and a conclusion which bas no relation to either of them. The firs: premise Is that all power held by the t'nited States Government Is taken away from the people; the second, that ali power held by state governments Is retained by the people; the conclusion being that Federal charters for inter state oornorations are centralized tyr RTiny while state charters are precious : m of freedom. Mr. Bryan also rr.ak? eomethlns; In this speech of the ;ierable fiction thai the Democratic party has always been, and still is, the champion of popular as opposed to ce t raized government. If me could admit that the state gov ernments are any more popular than the F.sJ-rai thte would be true; for the Ivmorratic party has always, when it advocated anrthlas;. stood for strong rtate and a weak Nation. But a weak Nation ts not necessarily ruled by and for The people any more than a strong ne: nor is it true that the state gov ernments are. in our practice, more ef fectually controlled by the people than the National. In the palmy days of '-ht Democratic party, before the war, the tate jfovernments In the South, wh-re Its dominance was unchallenged, ere close olisjurchies. The people had iw voice in them. A few leading: fam i;ies ruled with power little less than abf:ute. And in many of the Southern State slnoe the war these families or ihe:r successors have regained power and re-established oligarchies close and Tyrannical in utter disregard of the Constitution of the United States and the elementary rights of man which Mr Bryan makes such a parade of con tending for. It is state's rights, not popular rights, for which the Demo cratic party has stood in history, and sttll s:ands whenever its Inherent prln i Iple of discord and anarchy permit It to stand for anything and state's rights mean the domination of baneful, bigoted and tnhunuui oligarchies. The a elfare and liberty of mankind are far safer in the hands of the National Government than of any state govern ment, with its sectionalism and local prejudices; with Its subserviency to rings, trusts and bosses; its tack of in telligence and mercenary greed. The United Stales Senate may be bad. It may be sadly dejsenerate from that no ble legislative chamber which -heard the triumphant eloquence of Webster and the Mephhttophelian sophistries of Cal houn: but bad and degenerate as it Is, the Senate is a dignified, intellectual and patriotic body compared with the tipper house of some State Legislature?; hr.e '.Hngua.se fails to measure the dis parity between the House of Represont atues and the lower chambers In many st a tee- There is no boss over the Fed eral Government, while a state without i:? boss dominating sJl departments has ome to be a rare thing In our polity. But Mr. Bryan may mean that power left to states is nearer the people than power given to the Federal Govern ment. If he does, he Is mistaken. The people have little influence with the Senate, to be sure; and what Is the rea son Simply because they have little influence with their State Legislatures v. faicfo elect the- Senators. The rail roads, express companies and trusts . ontroi the Senate because they first control the State Legislatures. The House of Roprasenlatives more truly represents the people of America, than any State Loglslature.lts constituents, while the President Is incomparably more responsive to the popular will than most' Governors. He derives hla office from the people, and Is answer able to them; the Governors, with, jiota ble exceptions, are answerable only to the bosses who create them. How can any sane man think for a moment that the rights and liberties of the people are safer with the state than with the Fed eral Government? In teaching such doctrine Mr. Bryan ignores all the facts of history and all the lessons of current experience. Power held by the Federal Govern ment Is no more taken away from the people than that held by a state, nor Is It more centralized except In a shallow and trivial sense of the word. The mostastonlshing case of centralization in our recent history is that of the con trol of trie common schools, which has been taken from local officials and given to State Superintendents and boards. So far as trusts and railroads are ooncerne4d, they can dominate a state with incomparably groater ease than they can Congress and the Presi dent What control they hae dver.tne Federal Government comes primarily from their pernicious ascendency in the states, which has been and will con tinue to be. In many cases, complete. Which, then, Is best, to leave the regu lation of the great corporations -with the states which they own, as Mr. Bryan advises, or to intrust it to the Federal Government, as President Poosevelt advises? ' j PERNICIOUS HIGH FINANCE. When "Bunko Bill" sets up his little table and Invites the public to specu late as to which one of the three shells conceals the little ball, an individual poseessed with a fair degree of com mon sense steers clear of the game. The personality of "Bunko Bill" Is not of a nature that encourages the confi dence of the public. He bears no let ters of credit which might silence sus picion, and to nearly all wit whom he seeks to transact his questionable "business" he appears in his true char acter, which is that of a sharper and crook. Wearing an easily penetrated disguise, "Bunko Bill" is only a mild sort of a parasite, who draws substance from the feeble-minded who have tem porarily got beyond the roach of their keepers or guardians. Of a different and vastly more dan gerous type are the "high" financiers who for years have, without molesta tion, been running their shell games in New York and other big commercial centers. The underlying principle of getting something for nothing, by means of deception. Is exactly the same, however, whether the trick is turned with the three shells, by means of "wash" sales of stock, by paying $1W,0W salaries to $6000 men, or by any other method that will not bear the light of publicity. The element which makes the high financiers and life in surance fund jugglers in Wall street more dangerous to society than the "Bunko Bills" lies in their outward ap pearance of respectability and honesty. John D. Rockefeller and H. H. Rogers are both pillars of the church, and their position in social life is eminently re spectable. And yet Mr. Thomas Law son, another whited sepulcher, has pub licly made and given tremendous cir culation, charges which accuse those men of theft, bribery and swlndlinir. and which, unless they could be proven. would surely place Mr. Law son behind the bars. The public has not yet forgotten the partially successful attempt of J. Pier pont Morgan and Charles M. Schwab to gold-brick the public with their deal in American shipbuilding stocks and bonds. Both of the promoters of lib? swindle were men who stood high in social and financial circles, their po sition alone being a strong magnet in attracting victims. Following close on the dethronement of Schwab and Mor gan came the upheaval in life Insur ance circles, and the deeper the probe goes in this festering sore the -more ob noxious appear the germs of high finance that caused It. President Mc Call, of the New York Life Insurance Company, would hesitate about going out on the highway and at the point of a gun demanding that the policy-holders of his company contribute J14.W per year to the support of his son, but as soon as the young man emerged from college he was placed on the sal ary roll of the company, and the policy holders paid the unearned salary. This grafting was moderately mild in comparison with that secured by the high officials through subsidiary banks, trust companies and safe deposit com panies organized by directors to divert the funds of the people to their own pockets. The Investigation now under way in New York promises to unmask quite a number of "Bunko Bills" of high finance, and by the time their swindling transactions are all laid bare the public will have the same confi denceland regard for them that it now has for their fellow-craftsman with the three shells. The games which they have been working will probably con tinue, but to insure patronage a new set of dealers will be necessary. AN ASTOIUA DISCOVERY. An Astoria paper has made the start ling discovery that "the shipping In terests of the Columlba have been killed and the farmers robbed of mil lions to which they were rightfully en titled." An alleged railroad and wheat pool is blamed for this frightful condi tions of affairs, and as a result of their work the Astoria paper states that "every departing steamer takes hun dreds of tons of Inland 'Empire wheat to San Francisco, where It Is loaded Into foreign bottoms and shipped to Europe, or else is ground up into flour and sent to the Orient." This would be Important If true, and the Astoria paper Is perhaps entitled to great credit for sounding the alarm. It at least calls for an investigation of the situa tion. The official records of the San Fran cisco Custom-House show that for the first two months of the current grain year there were cleared foreign from that port 12,566 bushels of wheat and 107,000 barrels of flour. During the same period there were shipped from Port land to San Francisco and other Cali fornia ports 682,948 bushels of wheat and 33,866 barrels of flour. This leaves about 670,000 bushels of Oregon wheat that was used by the Californlans themselves, and It is somewhat Indis tinct where the farmers of the Pacific Northwest have been robbed because their unfortunate brethren in Califor nia failed to produce enough wheat to meet the requirements of their own consumption. This California demand has, with the exception of some move ment to the Orient, been the only thing that prevented the price of Inland Em pire, wheat dropping several cents per bushel, as Jt has at no time this season been worth as much for exnoct to Eu rope ss It would command In the Cali fornia market. The "shipping interests of the Colum bia" will be looked after in due season. If the Astorlans will keep their little hammers silent and not attempt to work off any such Munchausen-Iike yarns as that of a railroad and wheat pool being responsible for a famine wheat crop In California. TTILFOKD CHAIN'S BARN, f The Business Men's League of Prine-" ville, whatever that is. Is said to have adopted resolutions "denouncing the misrepresentation of facts contained In The Oregonian's recent story of the Crain fire." Say the alleged resolutions: "It is asserted (by The Oregonian) that the fire was an act of incendiarism Instigated by Williamson, Gesner and Biggs." .This Is not what The Orego nian said. It did not aceffsie "William son, Gesner or Biggs of Incendiarism or anything else. It leaves that func lion to the Government officers, who appear' to understand their duty and to be doing it- What The Oregonian did was to nar rate as a matter of news the facts of the burning xf Wilford Crain's barn the facts as near as The Oregonian could obtain them. All persons who know anything about Crook County un derstand how difficult It is to get an im partial account of any event there; but The Oregonian has nevertheless done pretty well. A barn containing hay belonging to Wilford Crain was burned three days before the third WiMlanason trial. Everybody knows that there had been systematic coercion and intimida tion of witnesses. The witnesses un derstood conditions in Crook County. They were greatly alarmed. The Ore gonian said so. It was true. That is all there was and is to it. If this is an accusation of Incendiarism against any body who is having 'trouble otherwise in evading the clutches of the law, let him make the most of It. AH The Oregonian has to say further to the so-called Prineville Business Men's League Is that it would be In better business using its influence, if It has any, in restoring law and order in Crook County than in criticising The Oregonian for doing its duty as a pub lic journal. If it ever passed resolu tions denouncing sheep-shooting, or de manding that the malefactors be brought to justice. The Oregonian has not heard of It- ' FOREST RESERVES IN IDAHO. It seems that the explanations offered by Mr. Plnchot and the forest service to Governor Gooding, and acceptable to him, have not caused Senator Heyburn to end his self-appointed office of critic and enemy of the forest reserve sys tem inaugurated by the United States Government in his state. As usual In such cases, argument on the part of the Senator and his adherents appears to have descended from reasoning on a basis of fact to appeals to prejudice supported by misrepresentation. The salient point on which prejudice is adroitly appealed to Is by the state ment that the Government has now al lowed the Northern. Pacific Railroad to abandon 668,169 acres of Its land grant. In the Coeur d'Alene. Priest River and Shoshone reserves, and thereby to es tablish a claim to select lieu lands of value elsewhere. This In face of the fact that the lieu-land act was repealed In March last, and thereby the right to make lieu-land selections on the basis of lands withdrawn by forest reserves was abolished; and that no scrip was created when the new reserves were established. Another argument that destruction of forests and woods has not been proved to diminish the rainfall and water supply is nothing but an ancient and worn-out bugbear No man ac quainted with the facts on which the forestry services of France, Germany and Great Britain In India have won such Important and approved results could dare venture to dig up once again this long-burled heresy. American ex periences. In the Rio Grande and Colo rado River regions, are quoted. They tell the same tale of results of forest destruction and diminished water sup ply. The other countries named have been at work long enough, and on a wide enough scale, to prove the con verse of the proposition. Reforestry has been followed, and Is now being carried out, at vast expense, because of its manifest and demonstrated profit to the nation and to the Individual. Its results in the re-creating of fertil ity of soil and the softening of climatic changes are second only to those of Irri gation The Oregonian drew attention the other day to a statement of Mr. Plnchot which commented on and professed to explain some of the new regulations affecting the rights of settlers in tak ing up homesteads within reserve lim its. The expression was that settlers were not to be "obliged to take any lands unsuitable for their purposes." It was pointed out that thereby settlers might be llmlted.to plainly agricultural lands and excluded from subdivisions desirable to the settler but on which some timber or brush might be grow ing. The Boise Statesman rises to ex plain the purpose of Mr. Plnchot and the Commission. Recalling the fact that homesteaders' now are confined to areas of not less than forty-acre sub divisions, connected together. It states the purpose of the Commission to be "not to prohibit a bona fide settler from taking in some timber, but to enable him to get the arable land available at the site of his location." The States man enlarges on the fact that In hilly regions there may not be more than five or ten acres in a place, suitable for agricultural purposes, but such tracts may be "strung put along the stream for a mile or more." Therefore, to en able a settler to get his 160 acres of ag ricultural land, he Is to be allowed to define his claim by metes and bounds. The Inference Is, naturally, that such a happy settler could "string out his claim along the stream" In lots and strips of five or ten acres say for two or three miles or more. On such a theory not many settlers could be pro vided for within reserve boundaries. If this be authoritative construction of the new regulations, as the Boise States man suggests, surely this Is one point on which amendment is desirable. Even In the old forty-acre legal subdivision there Is sound sense. Some reduction of that figure, say to twenty acres. In a hilly region, might be wise. But "five or ten acres" within Its metes and bounds would make a sadly un handy claim to describe first and deal with afterwards. If Senator Heyburn persists in his fight it Is a safe prediction that he will not even hinder the creation, of the forest reserves. The .Nation Is surely behind the President in his care for what remains of the forests of the Na tionand caot less, therefore, in the practical measures of forestry and re forestry on which the forest reserve service has entered. ' Walla Walla wheat has carried the name of the rich region in which It was first produced in the Northwest to the uttermost ends of the earth. It was a good enough name for Portland and. San Francisco exporters and for foreign im porters, but when Puget Sound began shipping grain the newcomers who were handling the business insisted on terming the .wheat "little club." Even the Grain Commission refused to make use of the proper name for the wheat, although every mention was an adver tisement Aor the State of Washington. This year there has been a change and the Puget Sound men have capitulated. The Grain Commission, In making the official announcement of the change, says: "Therefore, and because It would be advisable for the Coast to wbrk in unison on name In exporting, this Com mission has this day changed the state name of No. 1 club and f. a, q. club to No. 1 white Walla Walla." "With a degree of delicacy," writes a correspondent of The Oregonian from Lebanon, "I beg to inquire of you whether or not you pay anything for poetical compositions." Our corre spondent's delicacy does him credit, for no true poet would ever stoop to the sordid stratagem of requiring noth ing but money for poetry- Our friend's cards, which he thoughtfully Incloses, show that he conducts a livery stable, where It Is to be supposed Pegasus Is fed free of charge, and other animals for a moderate consideration; so the poet Is not deprived of a livelihood even if we decline to pay for his composi tions, which. In accordance with his toric journalistic practice, we feel obliged to do, with a degree of delicacy which we hope does us credit. Poetry doesn't pay, as Silas Wegg learned, ex cept In fame, everlasting fame.- The Church of England In Canada tooK a backward step when In synod assembled It resolved against solemniz ing the marriage of a person who is di vorced so long as the other party to the divorce is living. This matter was freely discussed In these columns when it was a live question before the Amer ican representative convention that voted down Just such a proposition. Whether the canon will tend. to reduce membership In the Episcopal Church is debatable. That It Is unjust to many pure. Godfearing, Godservlng women cannot be denied. Divorce Is sanctioned throughout Christendom under certain circumstances not only by statute, but by the higher authority of public opin ion. In adopting this canon the Cana dian branch of the Church of England has shut Its eyes to the best sentiment of the twentieth century. Tame and prosaic was the return of Jack London's "Sea Wolf," Captain Alex McLean, who reached Victoria yesterday morning. In simple language this alleged bad man denied that he had raided any seal rookeries, denied that he had dodged revenue cutters, and In fact entered a general and spe cific protest against all charges of Ir regularity in connection with the cruise of the Carmenclta. To assist in shat tering the Idol which London built, one of the redoubtable Alex's sailors gave out an interview In which he stated that the captain bold "would not fight a cat unless he was full of hootch." As London's "Sea Wolf was always full of fight and never full of "hootch," Cap tain McLean is steadily "drifting farther, away from the reputation which Jack London gave him. The people of Yazoo, Miss., are stren uously opposed to negroes as postal clerks. This Is narrow and unreason able from the standpoint of those who know the colored man only as an iso lated member of a community. Ethic ally it Is unjust and reprehensible. It represents, however, a condition of life in the black belt that cannot be regu lated by act of Congress nor abrogated by an edict of the Postmaster-General. Simply stated, it exists, and if It Is ever' overcome It will be through long years of growth silent, persistent, as similative, unboastful. The wiser men of the colored race recognize this fact, conform to Its conditions, and avoid conflicts In which. In the very nature of things, they will come off second best. "When thieves fall out, honest -men," etc Here is the oily, gassy Addicks threatening to make nubile in Hotnii Che contents of his private ledger. wnicn contains the price per head at which many Delaware Legislatures were purchased In part. The numerous political jackasses who were squaring away for a kick at the supposed-to-be-dead Hon have suddenly paused. They are now viewing their late benefactor with the same degree of Interest that would be shown a drunken man at tempting to light his pipe Ih a powder magazine. The shamelessness with which Addicks proclaimed his purchase of Allee would indicate that he will not be stopped by any fear of an ex plosion. Addicks can do no great damage by carrying out his threat to print the list of his beneficiaries. Every one who ever voted for him. or worked with him, was bought and paid for, or was thought to be, which comes to the same thing. Perhaps he didn't buy some of them. They ought by all means to get Addicks to make the exposure. General Togo wasn't there when the Mlkasa sank. But Togo Is not Japan's Sampson. He was there when things happened at Port Arthur and In the Sea of Japan. The New York Life Insurance Com pany probably appears on the books of J. P. Morgan & Co. as an asset. We are learning more every day about high finance high finance by financial highbinders. Gaston Richard, Journalist, heard something drop. It was Gaston. Don't Kick. Salem Journal. A great deal that is said and print ed about thefJournal is true. It hasn't been altogether reliable politically. But It is trying to do better, and when you find a fellow In that frame of mind why kick him? , Growing Up. Louisville Courier-Journal. "And has your little girl ceased to play with dollsT' Inquired the lady from Louisville. "Oh, long ago." replied the lady from Indianapolis. ' '.'Why;. , she- no Jonger writes historical novels." 0REG0N0Z0NE 3lIssourl Day. This Is the day we show 'cm. Well, why not? We're from Missouri. Say, you used to laugh When folks admitted that; but now you don't. You grasp the proud confessor by the band And ask him, "Did you ever meet Joe Folk?" . And when he says. "My dog once ran across Folk's yard." -you say, "By George; you must be chums!" But Folk, though quite a boulder, to be sure, w Is not the only pebble on the beach Of old Missouri. There's a state, my lads. That raises evorythlng except the lid! (And maybe that Is raised while Folk is off) From corn to Colonols, beer to boodlers, yea. From Jokos to Generals, the Show Me State Produces thirty-sevon crops or so Per annum and it never knows a drouth. Because, forsooth, the festive hop that ' springs From Oregonian soil doth irrigate Missouri, mixed In sueh ecstatic brew With water from the Fater-Water's flow That Oregon ozone compared to it Were extra pale! (These feet poetic limp!) But, getting back to solid things, behold That great Missourian whose fame is spread To the fpur corners of the earth, and then Beyond, to give the looking stars delight And make the Moon-Man shake his jowls In mirth; The great Missourian who never will Be President, who cannot make a speech Except In monotones, who weareth not As much apparel as an Igorrote. And yet hath stronger pull than any man The mule! BohoM the mule! He's from Missouri; 'Twas on the velvet slopes of Taney County, Or on the summits of the mild Ozarks. That first he drew the breath of life and breathed The same forthwith upon the atmosphere. Louder than Triton with his wreath-ed horn! It was the mule first taught mankind to kick; It was the mule that with protesting bray First gave Iajustice pause; it was the mule. The old Missouri mule, that modern Muse. That roving minstrel of heroic note. That siren singing in the wilderness. Who sang the Song of Stubbornnoss that smote This wide round earth with epic utterance And gave mankind his license to romark. "I will!" or else "I won't!" yoa, gave Joe Folk The stubbornnoss to stand upon the lid. Though all the imps of hell were under neath Quaking for vent! Why, lords and rulera all. The mule has taught mere, man his no blest lesson: We'll show yeu him he's from Missouri, too! . , And there's another (we should cackle now!) The great Missouri hen! She also hath Her lay; more gentle than the mule's It Is, Yet quite porsuaslvc. By her lay the hen Hath added to Missouri's wealth this yeyr (Statistics toll us) sixteen million dollars. And made a billion breakfasts bountiful. T(s said that In Missouri now the folks Swear by the hen, their dearest cuss word being " "By Hen!" Then let us show 'cm her, by Hen! But while we speak of men and mules and hens. Let us a tribute pay to one sole thing More famous than thom all the corn-cob pipe; The pipe that grows in happy fields afar From sinful haunts of men; the pipe of peace. Inducing dreams that know not anything Of weary worklllness. The corn-cob pipe Is from Missouri, too; and if you've noted Thus far this changing wreath of wan dering words. Reader, you've smoked an old cob pipe with me! ROBERTUS LOVE. Kansas Reflections. From the AtchIson Globe. You can't afford to aceept some presents. When we read In an obituary of a woman that society will miss hen we are not as Impressed as it it said her family. You ofte hear a man say: "I know what I would do in So-and-So's place," but at the same time he does not know what to do half the time himself. Here is good news for the thin itaired: A visiting girl in town wears a bow on her head so large that no one has discovered the color of her hair. It is found that the reason an Atchi son man is so fond of lying around sleeping at all hours of the day and night is that he is a great man in his dreams. An Atchison woman, who was a great temperance worker, died two years ago. Her husband married again within a year, and the second woman buys beer by the case. It's terrible. Never talk - so much of the state from which you came that your ac quaintances will despise it. We know a man who hates Vermont because he has heard so much about It from his wife. As 25.000 automobiles were sold In the Unitod States during the first half of 19GS. you might as well set a can of gasoline in the, barn and get your horses used to the smell. Instead of feeling surprised at so many boys lacking a leg or an arm. every nervous mother wonders that there are any with the right number. If a woman has a strong, active son. full of life, every time she sees him she has a greater respect for her hus band's mother for having brought him up to manhood without so much a3 losing a toenail. . Vanity a Trap for Criminals. New York Sun. "What Is our greatest help In capturing criminals? Why. their vanity, of course." said the detective. "Men and women who make crime a business are "always proud of their work when It is well done, ac cording to criminal standards, and sooner or later they brag of It and It - gets to our ears. Even men who commit unpre meditated crimes seem unable to- keep their doings to themselves, and If they do not openly boast they give out mysterious hints that rouse suspicion and bring about surveillance. Then, again, no mat ter how well a crime is planned, there is nearly always an unforeseen contingency to be met, and It's the failure to take precautions against the one contingency that gives many a clew." WHY THE PUBLIC SERVICE IS BAD Clerks Are Not Promoted on the Basis of Personal Worth and Effieieacy They Do About One-Fourth as Much Work as Should Be Done. (Washington Letter in Chicago Trfbune.) In- getting up Information for the Keep i Commission, by which it Is the hope of the President to Introduce a radical re form In the methods of the government, one of the most extraordinary develop ments Is in the showing made as to the ridiculous system of assigning work to different employes. There is in the gov ernment, in spite of the civil service reg ulations, absolutely no system such as obtains in every good business house of testing employes, putting them at the work for which they are best adapted, and paying them according to the value of their services. People pass extensive civil service ex aminations far in excess of anything that would . be required in a private business establishment, and then the successful ones are put at work without the slight est regard to their qualifications. Once the examination is passed, every clerk in the government of a particular class is given the tame rating, the same salary, the same hours of work, and becomes merely a cog In a great machine. Men and women in the departments go on year after year doing the same thing without the slightest chance of learning anything new In the line of their work and with the disagreeable consciousness that their promotion and Increase in pay will not be materially hastened by good work, and as a general thing will not be delayed by downright Inefficiency. Of late years hundreds of competent typewriters and stenographers have been attracted to the government service and have successfully passed the stlffest kind of civil service examinations. When as signed to work In Washington, or New York, or Chicago, or anywhere else, the chances are about 10 to 1 that they are put at the most humdrum work and kept at It during their term of office. The bet ter class of these clerks easily become disgusted with the dreary routine of gov ernment service, and this accounts for the fact that Uncle Sam always finds it hard to secure enough competent typists and stenographers. In beginning their study of the govern ment departments the members of the Keep Commission necessarily were struck with probably what is the most radical defect In the whole civil service system. This Is the fact that promotions Involv ing Increases In salary do not necessarily mean any change of work requiring bet ter equipment and greater knowledge, but are made exclusively by reason of length of service. It frequently happens in the ridiculous governmental system that dif ficult technical work is done by persons recolvlng a much lower salary than is given to others who are assigned to or dinary routine desks. The clerk who is really a low-grade man or woman, so far as work Is concerned, may be in trusted with the most difficult desk in a bureau, and it is a well-known fact that the rate of pay In all the government departments bas little or nothing to do with the kind of work performed. Enough has been developed already to show that there Is absolutely no standard of values for clerical services to the gov ernment. Clerks in different departments who do identically the same work are paid quite different salaries. The gov ernment service makes practically no pro motions for efficiency, and there are but few clerks removed from office because of laziness or incapacity. Now and then a clerk is dropped on account of notorious bad character or for a downright defal cation or some other glaring fault, which could not possibly be overlooked. As a rule, they go on day by day and year by year, receiving their promotions and in creases of salary, going on the basis of length of service. This Is what makes machines out of government clerks, and It Is at the foun dation of the dry rot and routine so char acteristic of the conduct of the public business. There Is a dead level of me diocrity in the clerical work of the gov ernment, and a hustling clerk soon learns that he will get along much better in the departments If he takes things easily. About the time of the outbreak of the Snanl3h war a business woman from Chl- ODD BITS OF NORTHWEST LIFE Another Tnggart Who's Popular. Malheur Gazette. Delbert Taggart was seen on the streets of Ontario Saturday,- shaking hands with everybody. Boyd Kennedy's Keepsake. Philomath Review. On Monday Sam McClaln was placed on the surgeon's dissecting table and Drs. Newth and Pernot removed that monstrous wen from the back of his neck, also a small one from the top of his head. We understand he gave the big wart to Boyd Kennedy as a keep sake. Two Qnecns of the Highway. Bend Bulletin. Miss Reid and Miss Jonas, the Bend schoolma'ams, returned Monday from a ten days' jaunt across the Cascade Range. They were attired in cowbow costume, wore six-shooters and belts of cartridges, had their rolls of blankets strapped on behind their saddles and looked as busi nesslike as veteran cavalrymen. They Journeyed ICO miles to a point within six miles beyond Cascadia and within 20 miles of Lebanon and back, sleeping and eat ing where they could, and viewing the sights of the country. They saw one fierce black bear but It had been slain by hunters ten- minutes before. They will write a book reciting the thrilling ad ventures of this 200-mlle Journey in the mountain fastnesses of Oregon. When the Fire Fiend Came to Town. Dayton (Wash.) Chronicle. A great many helped Mr. Engle carry out his goods. Others helped themselves to the goods afterwards. He says if the goods are returned he will not have their names published. Otherwise he will, be cause he knows who took the goods. One lodger In the hotel, who had been Im bibing too freely, was, with difficulty, aroused and gotten out of the room. He insisted that he had paid for the bed and was going to sleep in It as long as he pleased. Everybody turned out to the fire. Some were almost dressed. The fire was not gotten under control for an hour and a half after It started, but the firemen did splendid work just the same In confining the fire to a few buildings. It was what might be termed a lucky fire. Had it occurred during the big duststorm there would have been a dif ferent story to relate. The Chief of the fire department slept peacefully during the blaze, but the Assistant Chief did the best ho could under the circumstances Mr. Engle and his dog were the las.t to leave the burning building. The roof fell In just as Mr. Engle stepped outside. So narrow was their escape that the hair on the tall of' the dog of 'Mr. Engle was scorched. Rough on. the Cockney. Tit-Bits. London. He was a very diminutive cockney, and he happened to be deer stalking In the Highlands, where he engaged the services of a tall and powerful gamekeeper. The keeper. In the course of a very warm day, feeling irritated at the ways of his little master, gave vent to his feelings by groaning at regular Intervals at the "midges" which were swarming around him In myriads. "How Is it." said the cockney, "that the midges bother you so much? I haven't got so much as a single bite yet." "Hoots, xnon." replied Donald, con temptuously, "they ' maybe havena no ticed ye yet." cago, who had been accustomed to doing good hard work, received an appointment In the government service at Washington. She went at her desk In the War De partment with enthusiasm and with, the intention of securing a - promotion by means of good work. She had to put a jacket on a report of some kind, write a few words on the outside, and prepare the paper for examination by some one higher up. It was work which could be done successfully by a 13-year-old school boy, but this clerk was started on it at 575 a montn. Being new to the ways of Washington, she did about ten times as many of these jackets as her predecessor had been In the habit of doing. In a few days she was called into the office of the chief clerk, and, in her Innocence thought she was going to be promoted there and then, or at least put on some work that suited her qualifications. Instead of that, the Chicago woman was roundly scolded by the bureaucrat, who informed her that she was disarranging the entire business of the office. All the people who had handled these reports before she did were spurred up to keep her supplied, and the clerks further up the line who followed her were stacked up with business which they could not or would not do. As a result, the all-powerful chief clerk de liberately specified a particular number of the reports to be done In a single day. and that number was not to be exceeded. "But I can do those In about two hours." said the Chicago girl.- "What shall I do the rest of the day?" "Stretch the work out as long as you can, and then read the papers." This incident actually happened, and an ambitious public employe was promptly taught a lesson that efficiency, Industry and hustle are not wanted In the Govern ment service. Every clerk In the rogular Government employ has an annual vaca tion of 30 days, which is about twice as long as is given to similar employes In business houses. In addition to that, every Government employe may have 30 days sick leave If the head of the office be lieves it has been honestly earned. The result Is that Government clerks, who work from 9 o'clock In the morning until 4:30 In the afternoon, may, and frequent ly do, absent themselves from their desks one-sixth of all the time for which they are paid. This absenteeism in the Government service is by no means confined to the clerks. The heads of departments and Presidential appointees frequency are the worst offendors. They go away without the slightest regard to the condition of public business and are frequently absent for long periods of time, during which the functions of their office are absolutely suspended. a It Is a generally understood thing among those who have observed the workings of the Government departments that there are in the service today, on a conservative estimate, fully four times as many clerks as are actually needed. That Is to say. the Government service is run in such a slovenly manner-as far as actual work is concerned that it takes about four clerks to do the work which readily could be done in a private busi ness house by one competent man who knew that dismissal would be the penalty of Inefficiency and that promotion would only come after he had demonstrated, his capacity. Committees of Congress which cut down bills for supplies remorselessly and which are ever ready to save money on Battle ships are strangely willing to Increase the number of employes In the Government service at any time, because that means more places for political henchmen, more promotions, and more chances for the exorcise of the Congressman's influence. One of the first things the Keep Com mission will endeavor to accomplish will be to secure the adoption of a system as personally recommended by President Rposevelt, as a result of which salaries will be commensurate with the character and the market value of the service per formed and uniform for similar service in all the departments. GLOOM ON CONEY ISLAND. ' The Season Thero Has Been Disap pointing. New York letter to Philadelphia Public Ledger. Corporations that have Invested mil lions In amusement enterprises at Coney Island and vlcinty and proprie tors of catch-penny devices at the beach resorts can hardly Join lustily in the paeans of prosperity. The financial success of Coney Island. Brighton and Manhattan beaches is dependent upon the weather. In a long. but dry Summer the amusement caterers at these places will make fortunes. But a cold, ralny day makes a wonderful difference In patronage, and this season, especlally during the past few weeks, there have been many days and evenings when the proverbial corporal's guard would Indicate the attendance at the beaches. General Cronje is suing the Boer War Company for salary; the divi dends of the great amusement compa nies will be very meager. If they are discernible at all; the great hotels will not have large balances on the right side of the ledger, while scores of small proprietors have either gone into bankruptcy or are bordering on that state. It was hoped that the three holidays Hiding Monday, which wind up the season, would enable the managers, privilege holders and proprietors of small shows and restaurants to recoup their losses. But again the elements stepped In. It poured rain, and Coney Island is In gloom. Had the weather been warm and fair Monday 300,000 holiday makers would have gone to Coney Island. As it was, only a few thousand Journeyed to the resort, It is said that more than one attrac tion will go Into the hands of the Sheriff. The three-days' rain also brought a disheartening loss to the excursion steamers, which run from the Battery pier. There was no need of steamboat Inspectors to prevent over crowding. A Philosopher. Puck. There was a man in our town, and he was wondrous wise; he jumped into a bramble bush and scratched out both his eyes. And when he saw his eyes were out, he philosophically said: "Well, I've seen everything, anyway," and sauntered home to bed.. Milady's Purse. She was an heiress, and' the purse She carried In her dainty band Might well the fortunes reimburse Of any spendthrift In the' land. At least most men Imagined sof " Tet they for years might rack their brains, And after all would never know The total wealth that purse contains. So here In full we give the list, ; From which no Item has been missed: A bit of string; a button-hook, A clipping from a cooking-book. A little Turkish cirarette, A bit of gum (unused as yet). Samples tit gingham, organdie. Chiffon, crepon and dimity. Besides a shred of moussellne De sole, a worn-out safety pin. ' A collar button made of bone. A fbek of hair (perhaps her own), A fashionable n,odIste'a card, A strjp of blue and: white foulard,. A picture postal card from Rome, And half a dime 'to take her Rome. . - Catholic Standard- and. Tlaws,
