8 THE MORNING OREGONIAN, FRIDAY, A-TJGUST 18, 1905. Entered at the Postofnce at Portland. Or. as second-class matter. SUBSCRIPTION KATES. INVARIABLY IN ADVANCE. (Br Mall or Eioreu.) Dally and Eunday, per rear ...$0.00 Dally and Sunday, six months 5.00 Dally and Sunday, three month 2.55 Daily and Sunday, per month. ......... -os Dally -without Sunday, per year 7.50 Dally without Sunday, six months 8.00 Dally without Sunday, three months... 1.05 Dally without Sunday, ser month...... .03 Sunday, pr year 2.00 Sunday, six months L00 Sunday, three months 60 BY CARRIER. Dally without Rundflv. ner week. ........ .13 Dally, ner week. Sunday Included....... .20 THE WEEKLY OREO ONI AN. tissued Ever? Thursday.) Weekly, per year 1.30 weeKly. six months - 13 Weekly, three months 50 HOW TO REMIT Send postofflce money order, express order or personal check on your local hank. Stamps, coin or currency are at th sender's risk. EASTERN BUSINESS OFFICE. The 6. C Beckwlth Special Agency New lorit, rooms 43-50 Tribune building. CM cage, rooms 510-512 Tribune building. HE FT ON SALE. Chicago Auditorium Annix, Postofflce News Co.. 178 Dearborn street. Dallas, Tex-Globe News Depot. 2S0 Main street. t Ban Antonio, Tex. Louis Book and Cigar Co., C21 East Houston street. Dearer Julius Black. Hamilton & Kend- rick. 000-012 Seventeenth street; Pratt 'Book Store, 1214 Fifteenth street. n Colorado Sprints, Colo. Howard IL Bell. Dcs Moines. Ia. Moses Jacobs. 800 Fifth treet. Goldfleld, Ner. F. Sandstrom; Guy Marsh. . Kansas City, Mo. Rlcksecker Clear Co. Ninth and Walnut. Los Angeles Harry Drapkln: B. E. Amos. M West Seventh street: Dlllard News Co Minneapolis M. J. K&vanaugh. 50 South Third. Cleveland, O. James Pushaw, 307 Superior street. levr York City L. Jones & Co., Astor House. Atlantic City, N. J. Ell Taylor, 207 North Illinois ave. Oakland, CaL W. H. Johnston. Fourteenth ana Franklin streats. Ogden F. R. Qodard and Meyers & Har- top, D L. Boyle. umano Bartcalow Bros.. 1C12 Far nam: Mageath Stationary Co., 1308 Farnam; 240 eouth 14 th. Sacramento. CaL Sacramento News Co. 429 K street. Salt Lake Salt Lake News Co., 77 West Second street South; National News Agency, xenowstona Park, Wyo. Canyon Hotel Lake Hotel. Yellowstone Park Assn. Loner Beach B. E. Amos. oan A ran els co J. k. Cooper & Co., 746 Market street; Goldsmith Bros., 238 Sutter ana Hotel St. Francis News Stand; ii Lee. Palace Hotel New Stand; F. W. Pitts, 1008 Market; Frank Scott. 80 Ellis; N. Wheatley Movable News Stand, corner Mar ket and Kearney streets'; Foster & Orear. Ferry News Stand. St. Louis. Mo.-E. T. Jett Book & News Company. S00 Olive street. Washington, I). C Ebbitt House, Pennsyl vania avenue. PORTLAND. FRIDAY. AUGUST 18, 1005. SHALL WE ADMIT THE "CHINESE? oojecuon to admission of Chinese coolie labor, stated in its simplest form, is that our present exclusion policy Is essential to our domestic peace. We have no difficulty in asrreeimr rnHrK- with Mr. Wilcox and other speakers Bl ine J-rans-MisslssippI Congress that there is much work on the Pacific Coast that Chinese may do. As domestics, as common laborers, as gardeners, hop pickers and frultpickers, they do not enter into competition with our native labor; but it is a deep-seated belief of our own worklngmen that a Chinaman In a job means an American out of a anQ. except in the occupations named, their theory is In a certain sense correct This belief has never been and will never be, successfully combated. We do not understand that advocates of limited Chinese immigration desire that there shall be competition between American and Chinese worklngmen. On the contrary, they especially assert that their purpose is to bring- Chinese here to perform labor that the Americans will not do, and thus to All a want in the labor market that otherwise will not be supplied. A broader and higher reason is that In this way the animosity of the Chinese people toward the United States may be quieted tnd the trade boycott broken. The two main grounds of con tention .then, for admission of Chinese coolie labor are that we shall thus Please the Chinese people and at the same time benefit ourselves." It may be admitted that our export ers have been greatly alarmed by the Chinese boycott It may be said, too that the Chinese government has had reasonable ground for complaint that harsh and unreasonable construction has been placed by American officials ?u exclusIn law; that members of the Chinese privileged class have been subjected to affront and insulf and that some of them have been rejected at our -ports without reason and with needless Insolence. But we have never understood that the original complaint of the Chinese people against the United States was that their coolies were not admitted, and we have no notion that an amendment of our exclusion law in that particular will be a condition precedent to the resumption of satis factory trade relations. The boycott was doubtless instituted against Amer ican exporters for the sole purpose of bringing the United States Government to a realizing sense of its decent obli gations to the Chinese. The Chinese have been assured by the President that the law as It stands will be construed by our customs inspectors more lenient ly, and that travelers, students, mer chants and all others entitled to admis sion will be treated with courtesy and consideration. In our present domestic Bituatlon, The Oregonian thinks that the United States can scarcely be asked to do more. It does not think that cuina, nor any other nation, will de mand that we waive our unquestionable e, , uurau to our shores whomso- J6 Please' maklnS and enforcing with due regard to the humanities, such immigration laws as we see fit. But suppose that China should -demand that we admit her coolies; what then? We have the assurance of the Governors of Washington. Oregon and California that their respective states fr Ua!fably PPsed to reopening the old Chinese question. It Is Idle to say that the politicians only are opposed to admission of Chinese. It is not the politicians; It is the great body of our people themselves. All persons who have lived on this Coast for a quarter of a century know through what terri fying scenes of riot, disorder and blood shed various communities passed be cause of the insistent demand of our laboring classes that the Chinese be expelled. The Chinese never' can become American citizens. The objection made against them that they are nonassimi- latlve can be made against the emi grants or no European country. That is the reason the question of Chinese im migration is on a different basis en-l tlrely from the question of European immigration. The Frenchman, the Ger man, the Italian, the Scandinavian and the Russian in time become American citizens. The Chinese never do. They are always Chinese. The few exceptions of American born Chinese to be noted here and there merely prove the rule. We can never expect that our laboring classes will assume any position except of unconquerable antagonism toward the Chinese. The history of every com munity on the Pacific Coast for the past thirty years proves it. We have not had any collisions between our own la borers and Asiatics during the last ten years because the Chinese were decreas Ing in numbers and the problem .seemed to be in process of gradual settlement. But reopening it means to jeopard our own tranquility and Invite protracted and perhaps sanguinary race troubles We think the price entirely too high. JAPAN'S TERMS OF PEACE. To The Oregonian It has seemed Im probable that the conference for peace between Japan and Russia, invited by President Roosevelt, could result in a treaty of peace. Japan, for her own se curity, is obliged to make demands to which the pride of Russia, even more than her real Interest, will not yield. It looks as if the war must go on. Japan has gained splendid advan tages. She is in better position than she could have hoped, at the outset to be. Her life has been menaced by the en croachment of Russia. Her astonishing victories have put her in position that enables her to demand settlement on basis of future security, and her pur pose therefore Is to exclude Russia from position of Influence and opportunity on the Pacific shore of Asia. Japan's pur pose Is to remove this menace now, and for good and alL The details are not soclear as we could wish, for the Japanaese negotia tors are reticent and secretive. They allow their demands to be divulged slowly one at a time and In their order. But it is clear that they will require Russia to retire from Manchuria; to yield Port Arthur and the railroad; to cede Sakhalin; to give up Vladivostok, or at least to make It an open port: to pay war indemnity and to surrender war vessels interned In neutral ports. Japan requires these things, first be cause she believes expulsion of Russia from the Pacific necessary to her own security, and second because she be lieves herself able to enforce them. But Russia feels that she cannot yield; and It can scarcely be expected that she will yield, now. To expect her to abandon her purpose of extension of her empire to the Pacific it seems to us is to miscalculate the energy of the forces that for centuries have been pushing her on. Bitter as have been the defeats she has suffered at the hands of Japan, Russia will not yet believe the Issue has been fought out. The probability is, therefore, that the peace conference will fall, and that the war will go on. THE DECREASING BIRTH-RATE. One day we are told by the SuDerln- tendent of Compulsory Education of a great state that women are driving men out of the Industrial and trade voca tions literally back to the soil from whence Father Adam Is said to have sprung; the 'next day a nalnstaklntr statistician tells us that the native birth-rate in the United States Is de creasing steadily, persistently, even alarmingly. Both statements are made seemingly from knowledge gained by careful, specific Inquiry. Is It not reasonably clear that. If the first statement is true the second is necessarily so? Can we expect a wom an whose time and strength anx thought are given to a "gainful voca Uon" as the census has it. to be i cheerful, willing child bearer? Can we, maeea, expect ner to be a mother at all. knowing as enlightened human be ings, that motherhood is essentially and necessarily a sheltered condition? Need we be told that women who strive in the marts of gain, or een those who pursue gainful vocations of the lowlier type, have no time to devote to the ma ternal vocation? True, writers who have studied fac tory life as combined with family life at Fall River, for example, have told of the woman toller, whose name Is multitude, who "asks out" for a few weeks biennially while she gives an other child to th,e census and later to the mill; but who among us could find voice to censure a woman thus situat ed who. having first made a study of the ways and means of "race suicide " overcame the necessity of this biennial asking out? If It is true that women are raoldlv or even slowly monopolizing the Indus trial vocations, a decreasing birth-rat Implies In itself neither wonder nor censure. It Is a natural conRPnminnA nt perverted Industrial and social condi tions. Motherhood, to be worth while to be worthy of the pains and oerils and the hope and love that the vocation or the estate suggests, and to a civi lized mind implies must be above the plane of the wage-earner, above the demand of any gainful vocation upon the mother's time and strength If we look beyond this point for the cause of the steady decrease in the native birth rate, we shall doubtless find much in the situation that reflects rii upon American women. Within thii limit, a woman Is free of blame if she refuse to add to the census returns the name of even one child. One abnormal condition becet an other. The "home without a mother" has long been sung in tender words of pathetic music The home, barren of children, has been long deplored as mgia pretense, a hollow mockerv. Rnt- neither song nor story has yet given to me world an adequate descriDtlon of the home, so-called, occupied through out the working hours of a gainful vo cation by children alone. A decreasing birth-rate may Imply at first glance, something of censure to American wdmen. In the. term Ameri can women, as here employed, we refer not to the relatively small class known as society women; not to the smaller class of professional women, nor to the still smaller class comprised of those to whom, for some reason, children do not come; but to the great majority of American women who are In a true sense helpful, womanly women plain unassuming women intelligent affec tionate women women who are homer makers, wives and, mothers. Such cen sure as falls upon these Is, however, easily turned aside by inquiry and ob servation, since it is made plain that the homes over which they preside, fur nish the children that throng the public schools and In their turn set up, main tain and perpetuate American homes. It is nor too much to say that these homes are the salt that saves the Xa tlon. While they abound as now in American life a decreasing birth-rate Is not alarming since It merely points to the survival of the fittest. Women engaged In gainful vocations are not child-bearers neither should they be. There are two reasons for this. First, a woman who pursues an industrial vocation, in the modern sense of that term, has no time for the exclu slve and exacting functions of mother hood, and without disparagement to their practical good sense, it may be added that they have no desire to be mothers. Second, men whose wives are of necessity wage-earners are not fit for the responsible function of father hood. Having failed in the first duty of manhood, as defined by our strenu ous President, to be the maintenance of home and wife and children, he would but add to the burdens of the woman and the responsibilities of the state by adding to the census. Children are a blessing to the well ordered home; the well-ordered home is me piuar or ine state, to the poor home, the home maintained by the dally toil of the mother in a gainful vocation; a home that Is the abode of Ignorance, of dissipation or of gaunt poverty they are the reverse of a blessing and to the extent that the decreased birth-rate is confined to these It Is not to be de plored. Indeed it might be wished that births In such homes would cease alto gether, even as they have practically teased in the homes of society women and In those of the Idle, selfish rich. AN INEVITABLE CONSEQUENCE. There Is complaint, we hear, that The Oregonian publishes as news such sto ries as that of the Taggart case, which it would not have published In former times. The question Is asked, "Why this degeneracy?" The simple answer Is that newspaper competition compels it. The more severe the competition the stronger necessity of meeting every phase of it. The Oregonian, within its own field, of circulation, cannot allow any newspaper to outdo it. A group of very pious people publish a "yellow" newspaper here. Others publish like newspapers, round about. These Jour nals are pitched on a low grade or basis. In many ways or features. The Oregonian must meet them, or go out of business. But The Oregonian Is not going out of business. It will not de scend to their depths, but it will print clean versions of stories, of which they print other versions. It is an inevitable consequence. Deg radation of the character of Journalism is the unavoidable result of this sort of competition. It Is, however, less a re flection on the publishers of newspapers than on the public taste that demands such matter. Again, It is a reflection on those who, -in order to push newspa pers .for support of their own personal and plutocratic schemes into fields al ready occupied by respectable journal ism, appeal to vitiated taste and help to cultivate It, that their publications may get "circulation." The keener the newspaper competi tion, the lower the tone of Journalism, always. Therefore when mony not earned In journalism, when money that doesn't belong to journalism, when money derived from outside schemes is put In vast sums into Journalism, you may expect decline of the standards of journalism, always. It Is just as well to be plain about this matter. Pluto cracy corrupts journalism. It corrupts everything It touches. HE STANDPATTER AND HIS FETICH. There is now in session In Chicago a conference whose proceedings the American people will watch with pro found Interest. Six hundred delegates have assembled there from all parts of the country to lay sacrilegious hands upon our National fetich. That is what our protective tariff Is a fetich. As the woolly-headed Hottentot secludes In a sacred cave his god of feathers and painted clay, so the high priests of our deity of Imposition, Iniquity and fraud have guarded their Ideal from all Ir reverent Investigation, from all danger ous inquiry. For to this high tariff Idol, as to all objects of slavish and benight ed worship, investigation Is perilous, in quiry is fatal. His cult Is systematic deception. The hope of his hierarchy Is in the stupidity and Ignorance of those whom they befool and plunder. And who compose the hierarchy of this tariff fetich? Who but those whose lust of power and rlqhes fattens upon the su perstition of his worshippers? None shrieks so loud or with such holy horror when there Is talk or tariff revision as your trust magnate. None stands quite so "pat" as 3'our United States Senator, attorney for the trusts, who parades the insignia of his venal disloyalty in the legislative chamber of the Nation he betrays. The trust magnates, their purchased or intimidated defenders In the Senate, an army of lesser politicians who depend upon them, and a diminish ing host of voters who will not or can not or dare not look facts In the face and think for themselves these are the "standpatters" who have made al most a religion out of their ridiculous or mercenary fidelity to the DJngley tariff with all Its absurdities. Its impo sitions, Its Insults to the popular intel ligence, and Its cynical contempt for the good will of foreign nations. The DIngley tariff Is absurd because it holds to the theory that by impudence or chicanery we can forever Induce for eigners to buy our goods while we buy none of theirs. Commerce is exchange. The Ideal of the pirate or the hog, to take all and return nothing, may suc ceed for a time as it has with us, but It is not commerce and It cannot suc ceed forever. Other nations are awak ening to our utter unfairness In this matter. Germany enacts a tariff Dro- hibitory to American agricultural pro ducts; France is preparing to follow suit; even meek and long-suffering England looks askance at our unmiti gated greed. A European tariff union against America has been proposed by men of international Influence and, while It Is not probable now. It will be come more and more probable unless we change our policy .of shamed selfishness. The DIngley tariff Is an Imposition because It treats the American people as a private preserve to be plundered without limit by the trusts. What Is the use of rehearsing the notorious facts that Justify this statement? They are numoeness. -uividends earned on watered stock; the same grade of cood sold abroad at lower prices than at nome; competition killed by throat-cut metnoas ana wages lowered to the star vation point these "are some of the facts. The standpatters claim by their acts, and almost by their words, that the American people have been given to tnem oy me Almighty, as Herodotus tells of the Persian despots giving cities to their favorites, to be exploited with out remedy or appeal. There must be no cnange, forsooth! No, indeed; the fleece Is golden as It Is, and so easy to shear! The DIngley tariff Is an Insult to the popular Intelligence because It pretends with barefaced mendacity to do what cannot be done. It says to the farmer: "You have jiot sense enough to perceive that a tariff on wheat can not affect the price of wheat; therefore we will cajole from you with that piece of fool ery your consent to be robbed by other duties which do raise prices." The standpatters say to the worklngman "We want the exorbitant DIngley tariff retained with the purely benevolent In tent of paying you high wages;" while at the same time they hurry over from Europe "pauper labor" by the steam ship load to take their jobs from these same beloved American workmen. The brutal contempt of the standpat ters for the Intelligence and rights of the American people has been uniformly met with humble submission. No won der, therefore, that they supposed for elgn nations could also be cajoled and bullied indefinitely. The Insurrection of Europe against their commercial domination takes them by surprise. It Is like a servile rebellion against the lordly Senators of Imperial Rome. Their method of forcing foreigners Into sub mission is singularly stupid, but It Is characteristic of the "standpat" spirit. They propose to make Europeans buy more of our goods by raising our tariff stile higher. When one of the boys at Dotheboys Hall gagged at the brim stone and treacle, Mrs. Squeers poked another spoonful down his gullet. The standpatters seem to believe In her method. The exceedingly light snowfall last WJnter in the watershed of the Snake and lis tributaries Is manifest in Its effects on the hay crop In Central and Western Idaho. Even down In the north where- occasional rains keep the per centage of moisture high enough to make the crop, there Is the report of Rain Is greatly needed," and "Pas tures are drying up." Up In the central part of the state, however, where Irri gation makes three great crops of al falfa, the report Is general that "the second crop is light, owing to drouth. and "there will be no third crop, owing to shortage of water." The Payette Is lower than It has been for yearsthere Is very little water In the Boise; further east, both forks of the Snake were never known to be so low; while the creeks that supply small ditches have long since gone dry. Conservation of even the small amount that ran off early this Summer would have Insured these crops; the big ditch at Minidoka will In time help within Its range; but the tnousands of farmers on the smaller streams must obtain relief Independent of the larger canals. Probably they will In time. The grand conclave of Eagles, now In session at Denver, will consider the proposition of establishing a National home for superannuated members of the order. Montana comes forward urg ing iuttt me nome oc located near Helena on what Is known as the Broad water property. Commodious buildings are already on the ground and the site. being in the very heart of the Rocky Mountains, is both beautiful and health ful No one who has tarried even for a few days, in Summer in the capital of Montana has failed to visit beautiful Broadwater and taken a dip In the waters of the grand natatorlums that are warmed by Nature for the delight ful bath. uregon is getting a tremendous amount, of free advertising this year apart from the many publications rec ognized by the postofllce authorities. As an example, one of the big life Insur ance companies that distributes 3,000,000 copies of an S-page paper, devotes two pages this month to Oregon as a sportsman's paradise, with beautiful il lustrations. A mighty sight more In teresting than life insurance figures are the cold facts relative to hunting and fishing, camp life In our mountains and the scenery of river, forest, ocean and lake. In this case, the presentation of one of the state's Summer attractions Is exactly truthful, therefore valuable. "The root qualities of energy, thrift and business sense" are essential to the development spiritual and mate rial of any race. So wrote President Roosevelt In a letter to the National Negro Business League now In session with 200 delegates in New York City, And when the President added: "It Is as true of a race as of" an Individual that while outsiders can help to a cer tain degree yet the real help must come In the shape of self help," the great les son of the ages to mankind Is tersely ana tritely given. The hope of New Orleans for the present lies In the systematic. Intelli gent warfare that sanitary splence Is waging against yellow fever. Its hope for the future is In prevention, and is outlined in the water and sewerage systems now under construction by means of which cesspools and cisterns may be abolished and the city drained of the Impurities of Its every-day life. Nothing could have been more timely and more grateful than the rain that fell in this vicinity Tuesday. Pastures will grow green, late gardens will laugh Into plenty, hop vines and orchards have been washed clean, the dust has been laid and the harvesting has scarcely been Interrupted. As usual, the truth Is good enough about Oregon. Desire on the part of officers of life Insurance companies for supervisory control of the business by. the National Government shows at least an awaken ing. When so eminent an Insurance man as Senator Dryden favors the proposition, there is hope that opposi tion to it from the big companies will not be offensively active. Half a hundred private soldiers from Fort Snelllng have lately left the post without permission and failed .to return. The cause of this wholesale desertion is said to be the disinclination of the men to work on the new rifle range. It is pertinent here to ask what is the matter with the rifle range? The death of Dr. George A. Torgler Is regretted as that of a young man who had been carefully equipped for re sponsible duties cut off In the earlv pnornlng of life. A death of this kind we are wont to term a waste of life by prematurely arrested effort Visitors this week will have some thing to tell when they get home of Oregon's Summer climate. Miss Roosevelt is going to Pekin. Talk about your American invasion! OREGON OZONE That some steps must bo taken at once to curtail the power of our courts and prevent them from tramp ling with Iron heel upon the rights of man Is evident The other day a Bos ton Jurist fined a man J 10 for carrying away an umbrella. Tom Watson Is to be orator of the day when the monument to Tom Paine Is unveiled at New Rochelle, N. Y. Has Tom Lawson been utterly Ignored? Some people don't know enough to come In when It rains. The corre spondents tell us that at Asbury Park a few days ago thousands Of persons went bathing in the surf during a rainstorm. senator stone, of Missouri, told a country picnic audience last week that he liked buttermilk so well that ho had shaved off his mustache so that he might Indulgo in his favorite drink. The Senator shows excellent taste, not to speak of tender 'consideration for the feelings of his colleagues at Wash ington. A toga-wearer with bunches of 'butter sticking to his mustache would not be an edifying spectable in the Senate Chamber: and besides, the country constituents would accuse him of undue extravagance and of rich and riotous living. Having Issued an order to the effect that all short bathing skirts shall be measured before the wearers aro per mitted to enter the surf, to the end that It may be ascertained whether they are shorter than the law allows, the Mayor of Atlantic City 13 said to be besieged by applicants for the position of official skirt measurer. As yet no ladies have applied for the post The Santa Fe Railroad Company Is suing an Illinois Circuit Judge for tho recovery of five cents. Who now will dare to assert that the railroads stand In with the Judiciary? Farmer Haytop I see by the farm papars that beardless barley is a good thing to raise. Can you tell me how to go about It? Professor Smart Certainly; Just plant your barley In a soapstone field. Irrigate well to make the lather, and shave It close. In The Outlook of last week the President of the United States appears In a new role that of book reviewer. He reviews a new volume of poems and deolares that It Is "not verse but poet ry." Is the President's private library so sadly depicted that he makes this bold bid for complimentary copies of contemporary books that are not poet ry but verse, or does he seek a re election and take this method of mak ing his calling and election sure? Tho poot vote is something, to be consid ered. . The heir to the throne of all the Russlas and all Its troubles reached th'e age of one year a few days ago, but he already is a veteran In point of miiltary service, having been appoint ed Colonel of the Pavlovsk! Regiment of the Guard when he was four, hours old. He is next to the youngest Col onel that ever was. The very young est was Colonel William Zevely, of Missouri, now connected with the De partment of the Interior. Colonel Zevely. In his early manhood, was on the staff of a Missouri Governor. On day an old lady to whom he was in troduced said: "Colonel Zevely, you are entirely too young to have served n the Civil War. May I ask when you got yur title of Colonel?" Zevely drew himself up to his full six feet and replied: "Madam, I was born a Col onel!" But Does Carnegie Need Money? Is It possible that the American public library craze Is responsible for the terrible Japanese-Russian war? Here Is a syllogistic argument that seems to prove It, though there Is no Intention of expressing here a positive opinion: First. Premise: Mr. Carnegie needs money to use In founding public libra ries. Second Premise: The Russians buy armor plate for their ships from Mr. Carnegie. Conclusion: In order to create a market for his armor plate, so that he could sell In large lots and found many libraries with tne proceeds, Mr. Car negie sicked the Japs onto the Russes and caused u considerable demand for war vessels. Kentucky Couldn't Wait. Yesterday a thirsty man from Ken tucky walked along one of the aisles In the Manufactures building at the Exposition wondering how far It was between drinks In Oregon. 'Come In and register, and you'll got a sample of our whisky," said a voice ut his left. The Kentuckian went Into the booth with alacrity and wrote his name in the book. Then he eyed the attendant expectantly, with a mouth that would have watered had it not been as dry as Death valloy in August. "Thank you," said the attendant. "Don't thank me, suh." replied tho Kentuckian; "I'm the one to thank you. suh that Is. suh " And he waited some more. "Fine day," remarked the attendant. turning to other duties. "Might be a tine day fo you, suh. but looks to me like a frost Wha's yo whisky?" "In these bottles," replied the at tendant. Ah, but pardon me, suh, but wha's my sample that I was going .to get. suhr "Oh, that will be sent to you at your home address." "Young man." said the Kentuckian, if I don't get that thah drink befo' get back to my home address, I'll be the deadest man yo evah saw, suh. Young man, do It now!" ROBERTUS LOVE. How They Got Their First $1000. New York Sun. The Portland Oregonian has induced a number of rich Portlanders to tell how they laid the foundation of their fortunes The revelations are not very satlsfactory recipes ior me young, une plutocrat made his first J1C00 "by spending leas than ho earned." How simple! To be sure, a lot of folks, most folks, never earn money enough to be able to save a thousand dol lars. The noblest answer Is given by the man wno says ne "savea JIOOO from his pay as a soldier In the British Army." How old was he before he got that Initial thousand? GRAFT. Minnesota Etymologist Explores Au thorities With Surprising Results. Fergus Falls Journal. The recent appearance In an obscure and irresponsible paper, as well as in cer tain official publications of the City Coun cil, of the word "graft" has elicited from a number of our readers an Inquiry as to what the word meant, as It Is not found In dictionaries even of the most recent pattern. For the benefit of our readers residing on the Flats and Tordenskjold Prairies who do not enjoy metropolitan advantages we have made an exhaustive evamlnation of the authorities and will give all our readers the benefit of our re search In "Hostetter's Family Almanac" we una: uKAFT. n. (See grafter. Derlv. either from grab, to take, to seize, or from Kraft. 10 majce grow upon or insert in.) 1. The benefiting of a public official or his friends at the public expense, through an of ficial act. 2. The uelng of one's official position to gain advantages denied to others. 3. To so act or do that an official's feilow- cltlzens are Injured while he and his friends profit. -1. To so direct public matters as to benefit oneself or friends and injure others. 5. To take fcr oneself" or te give one's friends special privileges. 8. To take that which belongs to the public tor private use. i. to grant onejeIf or friends Immunity from that which others aro compelled to At- 8. To do a thing, pretending that It Is for puDuc benefit when it Is only private. IL.LLS. To so ran a sewer that an Alderman may get the benefit of it while his neighbors par for It. To fell to the city throueh dummy when tho law forbids an official to do it directly. To so place street lights that an Alderman can rttfoy it nnd the public cannot, etc. His- graft was bold. And yet within the pale of law. Ben Jorjton. Ho was as subtle a grafter aa ever graced a council's board. Or fixed bis street at ward's expense. Shakespeare. uincK was a past master In the art of. gra.tlng. He waa a thorough parliamentarian e always had his matters well in hand. His reports were always carefully prepared, and every move was consummated with a clock like precUlon. Although possessing a sensi tive nature, he wan bold, almost brazen. In the carrying out of the Jobs In which the com blnation. whose servile tool he was, was in terested. The. Lord Mayor, whose vast and varied Interests frequently encroached upon public rights, relied upon him Implicitly, and he never failed him. HI a.-soclatea on the board, with one or two exceptions were hon est, but they were obtuse or weaklings and offered no resistance. The organic law govern ing the city wan Ignored, forgotten, and his grafting went on unhampered and unchecked. McDougal's "The London Council." Dr. Schopenkoffer In his "Growth of Language,' says: In these days when our vocabulary Is being enriched by many new word whose origin and derivation cannot be traced to a. certainty, there Is a constant tendency to substitute, so that the exact meaning Is liable to be con fused and lest. We should strive to guard against this and by proper use fix their exact meaning. Tho words "graft" and "boodle" are cares In point. Their meaning Is entirely different. Boodle Is the price paid for an of ficial act or vote, the taking or giving of which Is a crime. Graft la the profit of an official act which, although within the law. Is mor ally wrong and not to be tolerated In well ordered communities. Minnehaha, filled with laughter. Turning said: "You are a grafter; , Take another. It's no matter Till the public catches on." Then the bolder, Hiawatha Grafts the graft that grafters long for Till the maiden called for quarter. Yelled, and hiked for Running Water. Longfellow. Space will not permit our going Into this matter at greater length, but this will be sufnclent to enlighten our inquirers and furnish the commission a guide in Its In vestigations. Pointed Paragraphs. Chicago Xews. Don't cry over split milk. Call the cat. There are also & number of fugitives from Injustice. All men are born equal, but the equality doesn't hold out. Necessity knows no law. but many a young lawyer knows necessity. Tho man who has more than he needs never had more than he wants. No. Cordelia, marriage And happiness ore not necereerily synonymous. A soft-headed nail and a hard-headed maa are both difficult to drive. Some politicians are relf-made. but most of the candidates, are machine-made. A sour mash drives some men to the saloon and some others to the divorce court. Though the wisdom of the ancients may have been superior to our, we are still alive. There is & vast difference between getting ahead In the world and getting a head In a Kilocn. It's the 23th annlvereary of. her debut into the world that Is oftenest celebrated by a woman. Good men are seldom beard of. but the ras cals are always getting their names In the police reports. A man's hulnean has certainly reaehed the limit when he feels- that It is too much trou ble to try to avoid trouble. Ptomaines n Hot Weather Danger. New York Tribune. Ptomaines are poisonous products formed In fish, meat, milk and other arti cles of food by a process of decomposition that leaves little other trace of its action. Bacteria probably promote their forma tion, but on that point there remains some doubt The taint develops in consequence of a failure to cook the food oronoriv- At this season the duty of promptly re ducing the temperature of milk at the dairy farm from which it is derived Is often slighted, and as a result the fluid may come to market In what Is a dan gerous condition. Consumers buy It with out suspicion, and when sickness Is caused by its use It Is usually too late to trace tne original source, and consequently im possible to fix the responsibility. The Summer Widower.- Grand Rapids Herald. Summer "wldowerlng" Is not all that It Is cracked up to be. It Is all right for a week or two to have the family away, but the enjoyment of freedom is apt to pall as time passes. There Is a novelty about feeding the cat, taking care of the canary, making up the bed and washing the dishes that makes the experience enticing for a while. But' It is pinchbeck and the gilt soon wears off. The President's Daughter. By H. V. A. Ferguson. In Europe the boys in their teens Drink a noggin or two to their Queens. Which Is etiquette ovrfr the water; But here when the gallant toasts pass We empty a. patriot glaes In a health to the President's daughter. Yo lovers, whose books are the rosea; Good fellows, who show by your noses You think the grape better than water. Stand up with a glass in your hand And drink to tho rose of the land In a health to the President's daughter. And after the laisa comes the laddie; From the daughter we pass to the daddy. taicn is etiquette over tne water. With the best of the vintage make ready To toss oft a bumper to Teddy, Who gave us the President's daughter. To Cnptaln Clark. John Jerome Rooney, in New Tork Sun. Here's a nation's love for you; love and big handshake for you. Captain oc the Oregon, greyhound of the sea! Dut-A lit the path for you, glory trailed the wake for you. . Take a long shoro leave with ua every port Is' free: f THE NAVIES OF THE WORLD The Figures as Revised by Our Of fice of Naval Intelligence. The United States Office of Naval In telligence has revised its figures of the Navies of tne world to June 1 of this year. Including ail changes to that date caused by the Russo-Japanese war. By total completed tonnage of each Navy the record Is: Great Britain l.Ms!s7l anco - tW.72I Germany 441 M0 United States 313.328 lr T. 254.310 JfPan 252.601 xv us si a .....,..;.... 24 3T By battleships of the first class the rank ing is: . - -iCo. Tonnage. Great Britain st d$2 2M) aae 10 212. iSO unitW siates';:::::::::::::;: l fii$ 7 S2.sJ5o JW 5 70.51S By armored cruisers the order Is: Great Britain j "0 "S2 400 rance is uslses Japan c - -gc Rtuwla ..."!! 8 3rS8 Ja,y 3 3LS01 uermany .................... 4 90 47 United States 1 74 15 Byerulsers above 6000 tons: Great Britain 21 201.950 rane 4 atsu Russia. 4 25.911 united States 2 14,730 By cruisers of 3000 to 6000 tons: Great Britain 30 221.460 France is 74.373 united States... ltf 5S.270 Japan n 42.MH Germany 0 46.740 Italy 5 17.400 Rusla s 12.38B By cruisers et 1000 te 3000 tons: Great Britain 36 103.060 Germany 27 5S.S50 United States .- 21 20.407 Italy 12 26.2 It'. Japan 11 21.276 Husia 7 S.7S0 By terpedo-beats: Franc 2 S3 20.73 Germany 105 13.921 Italy 101 0.876 Great Britain 00 S,0lH Russia S2 S.WO Japan SI 7.317 United States 27 4.280 ... By torpodo-boat destroyers: Russia S3 10.000 Germany 37 12.640 Franco 31 9,2f0 Great Britain 20 4 4. Japan 22 7.42t United States 18 6.613 Italy : 11 3.30K By submarines: France 37 3083 Rusola 13 1.4S5 Japan 11 1.2U Great Britain 0 1.400 United States S 91B Germany 1 120 Italy 1 107 By coast defense! vessels: France - 17 73.363 Germany 16 01.313 United States 12 47,445 Russia ; 7 43.391 Great Britain 6 40.000 Japan 3 20.327 Italy 1 3.918 A combination of the navies of Great Britain, France and the United States, leaving out the coast defense vessels, would have the following strength: No. Tonnage. Battleships, first class 82 1.682.118 Armored cruisers..... 40 444.900 Cruisers above 0000 tons 27 247.S33 Cruisers. 3000 to 6000 tons S4 854.117 Cruisers, 1000 to 3000 tons.... 0u 166.2S3 Torpedo-boats 383 33,901 Torpedo-boat destroyers 73 60,510 Submarines 34 6.24S Combined total strength. . .810 2.344.0S2 Such a- combination could dictate the world's peace. 2Teetl of Jloro Amusement. Philadelphia Record. It would be quite as well for womankind If the stronger sex. instead of promising "I thee with all my worldly goods en dow." especially when they've no worldly goods to speak of. should give their brides some idea of what they propose to do In the way of providing amusement for them after marriage. The lnsarte asylums are said to be full of fanners' wives who have gone Insane because of the ceaseless grind of labor, so frequently and regularly re peated as to become fairly mechanical. And only last week a young wife .took poison because her husband, a truck farm er, had repeatedly refused to take her to town with him by way of an outing. Hank of Cities. Detroit Free Press. The incomplete census figures indicate that the population of New York is now just under 4,000,000, or. to be exact. 3.9S7. 154. The probabilities are that Manhattan and the Bronx alone will be found to have a population of 2.37S.696. The standing of New York among the big cities of the world Is shown by the following figures: London comos first, with 4.526,641 people. and next to New York are Paris, with 2.7H.0OS; Berlin, with 1.SSS.S4S, and Chicago. with l,w.a75. Then follow Vienna, Can ton, Tokio and Philadelphia, all of whloh have over 1,000,000 inhabitants, the last named having l."203,867 In the census of 1500. Reflections of a Baehelor. New York Press. Nearly every girl captivates herself with her beauty. A girl can't learn to swim in a bathing suit that is made to go In the water. A man seldom ever can get away from his business for a vacation if his family is going with him. Biding In an automobile makes a woman almost as proud as It makes a man to have a millionaire bow to him In a street car. You can tell when a girl Is not engaged by the way she pretends to be. and when a man Is married by the way he pretends hot to be. With the Minstrels. Exchange. Mr. Tambo Do you mean to tell me, Mr. Bonos, that that Ignorant gentlemean tp whom we were talking Is a host In himself. Mr. Bones Yes, sah. Appearances am mighty decelvlh,. sah. Mr. Tambo But what did he ever do? "Why is he a host In himself? Mr. Bones Dat gem'man am a host In himself. Mistah Tambo, becaze he am de landlord of de leadin hotel in Pucker Brush. Mr. Tambo Ladles and gentlemen, with your kind permission, Mr. Hlghcollah will now sing. "My Girl's Name Is Miss Too ber, and She's My Sweeti Potato." The Horror of the Hoop. ' Life. Mabel has a slender "Agger" Like the pole thattwlnes the bea-i Her circumference will be bigger When she puts on crinoline; Mabel shows but slight resistance When my arm about her loops She will keep me at a distance When she wears those awful hoops. Oft at night I wake and tremble Thinking of that ghastly day: 4 Mabel's skirts will soon resemble Nothlnr but a load of hay. "Standing room" will then be posted Every time she takes the floor. Every nerve will be exhausted Getting Mabel through a door. Then won't evenings be lonely On my darling's fair "front stoop"! l I must fly. for there'll be only Room for Mabel and her hoop. And In what unearthly Alden Can I get the nerve to epoon With a rare and sainted maiden - Half way through a gas balloon? Aye, forsooth, 'twill take a wide wait Mabel not to discommode No more room upon the sidewalk. 1 must weep out In the road. Mabel, heed this tearful carol. By dire Fashion's slats and cocdi Don't become a lovely barrel Rolled about inside of hoops I A.