Morning Oregonian. (Portland, Or.) 1861-1937, July 21, 1905, Page 8, Image 8

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

    TiirJ MORXES'G OHEGOKIAN, FRIDAY, TOLY SI, 15HK5.
JCsttred at the Totivt&ce at Portland. Or.,
aa seBA-elaaa -matter.
miBSCWpnox sates.
INVAKIABLT IK ADVANCE.
(By Mail or Express.)
Dallr and Sunday, per year $f.00
Dally and Sunday, six aonths 8.00
Pally and Sunday, three months ...... . 2.5
Dally and Sunday, per-xnoath -83
Dally -without Sunday, per year 7-50
Dally without Sunday, six months...... 3.00
Dally without Sunay, three month.. . 1.8o
Dally without Sunday. per month -65
Sunday, per year --J"
Sunday, six months. 1.00
Sunday, three months - .w
BY CARRIER.
Dally without Sunday, per week w. .15
Dally, per week, Sunday included 0
THE WEEKLY ORECOKIAX.
(Issued Every Thursday.)
Weekly, per year. i-BO
Weekly. six months
Wtekly, three months .00
HOW TO REMIT Send postofflce money
crder, express order or personal check on
your local bank. Stamps, cola or currency
are at tne sender's risk.
EASTERN BUSINESS OFFICE.
The S. C Beokwltii Special Ajreacy New
Tork, rooms 43-10 Tribune building. Chi
cago, rooms 610-512 Tribune building.
KEPT OX SALE.
Chicago Auditorium Annex. PostoMce
Kews Co., 178 Dearborn street.
Dallas, Texv-Olobe News Depot. 260 Main
street.
gas Antes! o, Tex. Louis Book and Cigar
Co., 021 East Houston street.
Dearer Julius Black, Hamilton & Kend
rlek. 606-812 Seventeenth street; Harry D.
Ott, 1583 Broadway: Pratt Book Store. 1214
Fifteenth street.
Colorado Springs. Colo. Howard H. Bell.
De Metees. lav-Moses Jacobs. 309 Fifth
street,
Dulath. Mlaiu G. Blackburn. 215 West Su
perior street.
Goldfldd, r. C. Malone.
Kumi City, Mo. Hlcksecker Cigar Co.,
Ninth and Walnut.
Eos ABgoJes Harry Drapkln: B. E. Amos,
14 West Seventh street.
Minneapolis M. J. Kavanaugh. 50 South
Third; It. Begelsburger. 217 First avenue
South.
Cleveland, O. James Pushaw, 307 Superior
street.
New Tork City X Jones & Co., Astor
House.
Oakland. Cal. W. H. Johnston. Fourteenth
and Franklin streets.
Offdea F. R. 3odard and Meyers & Har
top. D L. Boyle.
Omaha Barkalow Bros., 1012 Farnam;
Mageath Stationery Co.. 1308 Farnam; Mc
Laughlin Bros.. 246 South 14th; McLaughlin
: Holtx, 1515 Farnam.
Sacramento, CaL Sacramento News Co.,
429 K street.
Salt LakeSalt Lake News Co.. 77 West
-Second street South; Frank Hutchison.
Tellewstese Park, AVyo Canyon Hotel.
Lake Hotel, Tellowstone Park Assn.
Long Beach B. E. Amos.
Baa Praaclsco J. K. Cooper & Co., 740
Market street; Goldsmith Bros., 230 Sutter;
L. E. Lee, Palace Hotel News Stand; F. W.
Pitte. 100S Market: Frank Scott. SO Ellis; N.
Wheatley Movable Nowg Stand, corner Mar
Tcrtiand Kearney streets; Hotel St. Francis
,?es Stand; Foster & Orear, Ferry News
Stand.
St. Louts. Mo. E. T. Jett Book & News
Company. &06 Olive street.
WashlBgtea,- . C P. D. Morrison, 2132
Pennsylvania avenue.
PORTLAND. FRIDAY, JULY 81. 1905.
ANOTHER TRIAL, AT ONCE.
Failure of the Jury to agree In the
case of the United States against Will
iamson. Gesner and Biggs will be fol
lowed "by a new trial at once. The
Jury stood ten for conviction and two
for acquittal.
If the statement Is true, as reoort-
ed, that the two Jurorp offered to vote
forcfjnvlction of Gesner and Biggs, If
rould vote for the acaulttal of
7aion. the case. It must be admit
ted Jjjsents an extraordinary feature.
It dote not appear that the testimony
was any more direct or convincing
against Gesner and Biggs than against
Williamson.
The two members of the Jury who
held out were from Hermann's district
one of them from Douglas, the other
from Lane. County. Both are said to
1 be personal friends of Hermann.
1 This might sufficiently account for
their inability to Join In a verdict which
might have reflected UDon Mr. Her-
, mann. or at least have added to the
' embarrassments of his position.
' The new trial will begin at 10 o'clock
this morning. It may not take up so
much time as the former one, since
each of the parties now knows, sub
stantially, xthe case or the posture of
we omer, ana tne proceedings may be
made more direct than heretofore. For
fcfreated term it is strenuous business
"or all concerned.
A DOCTRINE AND ITS INTERPRET ATI O N
The doctrine that all government
Tests on consent of the governed is true,
Interpreted one way the rational way;
bttt false if interpreted Irrationally and
Immorally.
Dr. Lyman Abbott, In a recent ad
lress at Columbia University (New
rork), committed an error in talking
jf this principle, because he did not
five It sufficiently precise definition or
ierprctation. He was enumerating
e cardinal vices of the American peo-
' pie, of which there are too many; and
among them "the theory that govern
ment Tests on consent of the gov-v
prnArt." This thnrv (h snenlror- rlnesAl
with rampant lawlessness that so often
rets the better of the constituted au
thorities, but which government never
theless must hold down.
Tet government In the long run does
depend and must depend on consent of
the go'erned. This, however, presup
poses that there must be among the
masses of the people some large degree
of enlightenment and sense of Justice.
There are laws of right and of right
eousness, of fairness and of justice,
which must be enforced and will be en
forced, whether men. singly or In multi
tudes, like them or not No majority,
however great, can "run" govqrnment
for a length of time against the laws
of morality and of Justice. "Consent"
of the governed is limited here.
But what are these laws? Who Is the
Judge'? Such questions often are asked
foolishly. These laws are the laws of
Tight reason, developed through the
growth of human consciousness and
conscience, of which the history of man
from earliest times bears the record.
"Outside these laws there Is no consent
of the governed. Thus, the doctrine of
consent of the governed becomes one of
the broadest. If Tiot absolutely the
broadest, of all the questions In the
world.
England's right in India Tests on the
fact "that she has been able to Introduce
into the country higher principles of
right, aaorallty and justice than had
been prevalent there. Our right in the
Philippines rests on the same basis.
There to this limitation always upon the
doctrine of consent of the governed.
But consent of the governed is a prin
ciple that werks Itself out through his
tory, as human beings accustom them
selves i the restraints it requires and
cesse s think of license and, liberty as
the sute, la its ultl mates all govern -DMat
rests cessest of the governed.
But the basis must be some approxi
mation to the principles of right and
Justice, of which the experience of
mankind through historic ages fur
nishes a steady though not always in
fallible guide. Something more always
remains to be done for truth, liberty,
morality and Justice.
AN ESSAY ON REFORM.
Why should any city employe call
upon Mayor Lane to protect him from
the money shark, who would discount
his salary? Why doesn't the employe
protect himself? Because he Is so weak
he can't? Then he should not be a city
employe. It is tiresome this thing of
protecting everybody and of being guar
dian to everybody, and of coddling
everybody, and of standing guard
over everybody even public 'officials
against solicitors to vice, against fakers
of every kind, against gamblers and
Against women of the town. Why can't
every man deal and be dealt with on his
own responsibility?
If Mayor Lane doesn't know how to
put a stop to' vice In Portland, The Ore
gonian can tell him. Let him cease to
fight the effect, or result, and attack
the cause. Every vice is associated
with sexual immorality. This Is abso
lute. Sexual Immorality Is the basis of
It alL
Now. therefore, let Mayor Lane causs
his police to raid every suspected house.
Let the gentlemen who frequent these
houses be polled out of their beds or
their hired beds at hours ranging, say,
from 16 at night to 6 in the morning.
The gentlemen who live In this way
support many of the liquor shops, all
the gambling places, most of the so
called clubs, all the resorts of vice, all
the red-light houses: Hale these gen
tlemen out at night and at the small
hours of the morning; get them Into the
Police Court, make them appear In per
son. And, let their names be given out
for publication.
But for the "pernicious activity" of
persons of this class there would be
little vice in Portland. Common vice Is
little or nothing. It doesn't pretend to
secrecy. It is open, palpable and hon
est as vice can be. But let us have the
sons of respectability pulled out of their
gambling clubs and out of their beds of
Infamy at 2 o'clock in the morning, and
let -us see their names on the police reg
ister. '
Women do not keep open shop unless
they have customers. Mayor Lane Is
a great reformer. Will he bring the
customers to the front? Will he pull
the "respectable gentlemen" out at 12
or 2 or 4 in the morning? If he will
not, why bother about people nameless
and Insignificant? Why not reach for
the "respectable" classes, who are fore
most here and elsewhere. In the ways
of vice?
You can't work reform backward. It
is useless to fight an effect or result,
while you coddle the cause. But you
will find that these sons of Infamy al
most to a man putting on a cloak of -virtue
and voting for "reform."
IS NORMAN WILLIAMS GUILTY?
Evidence is anything that tends to
produce belief. Cuvier found evidence
enough In a single fossil bone, and not
a very large bone, either, to convince
him that the animal from which It
came, though no man had even seen It
alive or dead, had a certain form and
size. He reconstructed the animal from
the bone: and later scientists, delving
among the relics of prehistoric time,
found its body complete and as he had
said. The bone was circumstantial evi
dence. Agasslz could do the same'
thing, reasoning from a single fish scale.
Their achievements show what circum
stantial evidence, and a very little of it
Indeed, may effect In an Intellect of
the first rank. The Rev. Mr. Desmarals
raises the question whether it led the
Jury which condemned Norman Will
lams to a correct verdict. He also
raises the wider question whether a
Jury Is ever justified- in finding a man
guilty of murder upon evidence of that
kind. Mr. Desmarals is not alone in
the distrust he feels for circumstantial
evidence. Such distrust is almost uni
versal, deepseated, and Justified by
many distressing cases. Men have been
hanged for murder upon circumstantial
evidence, only to have their supposed
victims appear a little later alive and
welL Nothing delights novel readers
more than a plot based upon the infirm
ity of mere facts and objects as proof
of guilt. The word of one eyewitness
is worth more than the strongest chain
of circumstances: a single object, no
matter how small or mean, which will
not fit into the chain, dissolves the
whole. The validity of circumstantial
evidence Is at the mercy of the slightest
Incongruity; the most trifling residual
fact Is fatal to it. Even courts distrust
it: and it has been found a wholesome
rule of practice never to convict a man
accused of murder upon evidence pure
ly circumstantial unless the dead body
of his victim has been found. This rule
is not observed In Oregon, for where
the bodies of the two women whom. It
Is said. Williams murdered at Hood
River, are concealed, is still a secret.
And yet. to a mind strictly logical,
what seems to the public and to some
Jurists the inherent weakness of cir
cumstantial evidence, is in reality Its
strength. It Is at the mercy, let us
freely admit, of the slightest incongru
ous fact or object; but suppose, when
heaven and earth have been diligently
scoured, such Incongruous fact or ob
ject cannot be found? What then?
Every chain of circumstantial evidence
is a challenge to the whole universe.
It must fit absolutely Into a pattern
infinitely complex, without manipula
tion, without change. And when it does
so fit, from being the weakest thing in
the world, it becomes the strongest. A
chain of circumstantial evidence, per
fect In every particular, cannot be
forged. That which did not happen can
never tally exactly with that which did
happen. Somewhere there must be a
variance. Poe. In his remarkable tale
of "The Murders in the Rue Morgue,"
has imagined a case where the evi
dence, purely circumstantial, was very
much slighter than that against Will
iams, except that the bodies were
found. The problem which he con
structed seems Infinitely difficult; but
he provides a genius who Is able to fol
low up a train of airy nothings to the
astounding truth. Here, then. Is a per
fect chain of circumstantial evidence,
so forged or Imasrlned as to fit exactly
into the course of th universe? Far
from it Poe Imagined a universe to
fit his evidence. A real detective has
npt that privilege.
The common distrust of circumstan
tial evidence is really distrust of the
human Intellect. It is the lingering and
ineradicable suspicion of a flaw in our
logic, no matter how sound it looks.
Still all scientific conclusions are based
purely upon the evidence of events and
things. Science rejects the testisaoay
of eyewltaeseM ia all caste when it
conflicts vlth circumstances, following
a rule exactly opposite to the courts.
Hume went to a great length, perhaps,
when he, said a miracle could never be
proved, 'because It was always more
likely that men would lie than- that the
course or Nature should vary; but In
practice we all agree with him, what
ever our theory may be. The reality
of the most important event in history
rests upon circumstantial evidence
alone. There were no eyewitnesses to
the resurrection of the Savior.
The facts which Mr. Desmarals al
leges in his letter as tending to throw
doubt upon Williams' guilt his asser
tions of innocence, his refined charac
ter, his intelligence and learning are
all Irrelevant. Given a sufficient mo
tive, any man will commit any crime.
"But for the grace of God, there goes
Jonathan Edwards." cried the philo
sophical preacher, pointing to the town
drunkard. It is for lack of motive to
murder that we are all unhanged.
Could Mr. Desmarals assert that Will
iams had no motive to kill the two un
happy women whom he lured from
Portland to the solitude of their home
stead, he would raise, a legitimate
doubt: but that he cannot do. Alma
Nesbltt's homestead adjoined Williams'.
He induced her to locate there. He
then married her; and after her death,
if she is dead, he forged her name to a
relinquishment. The motive is glaring.
The bodies of the women have never
been found. This is the weak point in
the case against Williams. Until they
are found. It Is not absolutely certain
that Alma Nesbitt and her mother are
dead: and. If they are not dead, there
was no murder. But absolute certainty
Is rarely attainable in human affairs.
We can only hope for certainty beyond
a reasonable doubt. Williams lured the
women to the'homestcad, and they were
there with him alone. They have never
been seen since. A grave has been found
upon the Williams claim, containing
sacks clotted with blood and bloody
tufts of human hair like the girl's and
her mother's. Is there a reasonable
doubt that Williams murdered these
women? What he did with the bodies of
his victims Is a question which he may,
perhaps, answer upon the scaffold.
IT FITS THE CRIME.
The second Infliction of penalty under
the whipping-post law has been applied
to the bare back of a brutal wlfebeater.
Here Is a man. a blacksmith, who was
able to earn, and did earn, enough at
his trade to support hlo wife and chil
dren. After paying the house rent and
monthly bill at the grocer's, he drank
ud the balance of his earnings and his
wife took in v. ashing to meet the deficit
In the family expenses. As if this were
not outrage enough on the mother of
bis seven children, the brawny, bibu
lous blacksmith was wont to make de
mands upon his wife's earnings at the
washtub when he wanted extra whisky
money. Upon a late occasion she re
fused a demand of this kind and the
husband knocked her down. He admit
ted the act, urging In extenuation that
he was "drunk" at the time.
Of all the impudent excuses that ever
a man urged for the crime of wlfebeat
ing. that -of drunkenness Is the worst.
It Is not enough In the estimation of a
brute of this type that his wife suffers
privation and hardship through his In
dulgence of a swinish appetite for drink
he must also beat her when there Is
no more money, even of her own earn
ings, to meet the constantly recurring
demand. "Drunkenness Is no excuse."
promptly answers the righteous Judge,
when this films) plea Is urged, and the
penalty of ten stripes on the bare back
of the wlfebeater was ordered and ap
plied. It may be granted that this penalty
Is one that is not pleasant for the com
munity to contemplate, but on the other
hand It is quite as agreeable to the
thought as the crime which It covers.
We have too few laws the penalties
for the violation of which "fit the
crime." Laws for the protection of
women and girls from vicious and crim
inal assault arc lamentably lacking In
this particular. The wretch -who com
mits an assault of the type of which
the brutal negro of the South is pun
ished by death escapes, if he is convict
ed at all. with a few years', more or
less. Imprisonment. The punishment
befitting this crime readily suggests It
self to the ordinary mind. Suffice It
here to say that it is not death, but life
under conditions that will Insure
against a repetition of the abhorrent
deed.
As to wlfebeatlng, the whipping-post
may not abrogate It, but It will un
questionably diminish it. It is in the
line of the decrees of the Mosaic law,
one of which "a life for a life" has
followed and Is still a feature of civili
zation. Protests have arisen-against It
and its abrogation has been tried, but
It Is still held to be a needful safeguard
against murder. If the whlpplng-post
does not prove to be a safeguard
against wlfebeatlng, the righteous com
munity In which It has been set up will
at least have the satisfaction of know
ing that the penalty that It Imposes
"fits the crime."
IMMIGRATION.
What are the qualities of the Ideal
Immigrant the one whom we shall all
agree to admit when we are" through
arguing about It? Perhaps It is not so
difficult to answer this question as the
endless discussion of the matter would
indicate. Few people of good sense
would differ much about the kind of
man that benefits the country by com
ing, or the kind that benefits t by stay--lug
away. What we lack, in this matter
is by no means correct opinions, but
the courage to make our opinions ef
fective. Some of us also are not dis
interested. We favor the admission of
Immigrants who, we know, will be a
detrlmenVxo the common weal, because
our particular business may find them
useful.
There has been too much deference
to men of this latter class all through
American political history. The public
has been sacrificed to the individual,
natural or corporate, not only in regu
lating immigration, but more still in
tariffs, transportation and electric com
munication. But the era, of public sub
servience to arrogant individuals is
passing. So far as Immigration goes, it
has passed. We Inquire, not what Im
migrants are desirable for this or that
class of the community, but what ones
are desirable for the Nation. In the
the first place. It Is of small concern
whether a man coming to America can
read or cot. Conditions are auch in Eu
rope that people Ignorant of the alpha
bet may have in them the making of
excellent citizens. But it is of the great
est concern that the immigrant should
have the ambition to stand on his own
feet and seize the best America can
give him. No matter if he seises the
wrong thtag at 'rat; K he if of the right
i
stuff he will I ears better. Just as he will
learn to read.
Again. It la better for the immigrant
to come with money In his pocket; but
If he Is of the .right build otherwise, it
Is not essential. He can make money
If he has muscle and Intelligence,
though he may not make it honestly.
Health, or "muscle." and intelligence
do not alone make the good citizen; nor
shall we produce him by adding ambi
tion and education. A man may have
all that and be a criminal none the less.
What we want in the Immigrant, then,
is a combination of health, ambition,
intelligence and character the same
qualities, wonderful to discover, that we
want in the native. And we must find
some way to make sure that the immi
grant has them, or, before many years.
we shall seek them vainly In the native.
The Chinese coolie has them not. He is
impossible. The Russian. Jew has them
all. speaking generally, and the pertur
bation over his multitudinous advent Is
Irrational. He Is more likely to excite
our envy In a, short time than to lower
our standard of living. The Pole Is a
fine fellow when he has a chance; so Is
the Italian. We need them both to
leaven our glum Americanism with
their robust jollity. With the Chinese
exclusion law made permanent, .and
with competent officials stationed at
the great shipping points in Europe to
sift out the sick, the criminal and the
incompetent, we should soon find that
our immigration problem Is mostlly Im
aginary.
Merchants' day at the Fair failed to
bring out the crowd It should have at
tracted. As Mr. Wheelwright stated In
his eloquent and beautiful address, the
pursuit of the almighty dollar was so
alluring that the majority of the mem
bers of the Chamber of Commerce were
unable to ease up long enough to enjoy
the beauties of the Fair, even for a few
hours In the afternoon. At the same
time. Mr. Wheelwright was greeted by
a greater number of representatives of
Portland's business and financial inter
ests than have ever before assembled
In this city on a similar semi-social oc
casion. This fact was a very gracious
tribute to the host, and to his most effi
cient efforts, not only as president of
the Chamber of Commerce, but for the
great work he has done for Portland in
the development and upbuilding of our
foreign lumber trade. Mr. Wheelwright
has been with us only a few years, but
few. If any. of our business men have
In so short a period made such a favor
able Impression on the commercial and
social life of the city. If men of his
caliber were more numerous, there
would be no complaint over the attend
ance at the Chamber of Commerce
mee tines.
Bishop Hamilton declares from per
sonal knowledge that the "Mary Had a
Little Lamb" story is based upon facts,
and not fancy alone. It Is refreshing
to hear some one uphold a popular story
instead of tearing It down, as many
take pleasure In doing. To the millions
of children who have learned the verses
Mary and her lamb have been as real
as any girl and pet Iamb could be. The
story of the love that each felt for the
other has done more to make children
kind to dumb animals than all the
teachings of humane societies and ad
monlshlngs of parents. The child that
finds enjoyment In repeating the verses
that tell of the devotion of Mary and
her Iamb Is no.t likely to be guilty of
cruelty to animals.
New Tork advices state that Mr.
Holmes, who was dismissed from the
Department of Agriculture on the al
leged charge that he had sold advance
Information regarding the cotton-crop
report, will take the matter of his dis
missal Into the courts. This Is exactly
what the public, which has suffered so
long through these misleading and jug
gled reports, would like to have him do.
A number of New York papers have In
timated that Holmes was made a scape
goat for the sins of others, and. if he
can prove this to be the case, he will
not only clear his own name, but he
will also perform a highly valuable ser
vice for the public
Baron Komura. Foreign Minister of
Japan, is being whirled across the
American Continent In the private car
of the greatest railway magnate of
modern times. The great men of the
greatest Nation on earth are waiting to
do him homage, and all his movements
are cabled to the uttermost ends of the
earth. And yet but half a century has
passed since the people represented by
Komura were as ignorant and uncivil
ized as arc many of the tribes of dark
est Africa today.. For rapid and sensa
tional climbing up the ladder of civil
ization. Japan Is the wonder of the
world.
Another Kansas bank has failed
through holding too much of the Devlin
paper. In this latest case the Institu
tion involved held notes of the bankrupt
millionaire to the amount of more than
5100.000. When the Devlin failure was
first announced the leading figure was
rated as worth 57.000,000. From suc
ceeding developments the collateral ap
pears to be strongly similar to that used
by the late Tom Ochiltree in his cele
brated poker game. "I "had a bad
night.' said Colonel Tom; "I lost J10.0Q0
at one sitting, and the worst of it was,
52 of it was cash."
It Is urged that a Republican state
convention b held next Spring to adopt
a platform for the candidates to stand
upon, How would it do to let the can
didates who are nominated at the direct
primary get together and construct a
platform stating their principles and'
proposed policies? Then if the people
don't like the platform, they will have
a chance to say so by turning down the
raen.who made It.
One County Assessor Is trying to find
authority for a postponement of the
meeting of the County Board of Equal
ization so that the time for returning
the assessment roll may be extended.
His efforts would be more commenda
ble If directed toward the performance
of all official duties at the time specified
by law.
In view ef the Atlantic Coast weather
which followed, we congratulate Cap
tain Peary on the timeliness of his de
parture for our Northern Summer re
sort Those who enjoy sparrisg matches
will have good sport when ambassadors
extraordinary from St. Petersburg and
Tokio meet next month la Washington.
Having said all there is te say against
Rockefeller. Miss TarbeU may ftad kt
sfc-aa ia Dr. Depew.
OREGON OZONE
New York people drank 11,668, qsaxta
of cota milk to allay the terrible heat
of Wednesday. Out here In Oregon we
have the cream of the weather.
The Chaw-Talk-Away I now in our
midst." Oregon furnishes two of the raaat
popular Chautauqua talkers Joaquin
Miller and Homer Davenport, and both
of them talk well of Oregon.
' If you think this weather Is too warm
for comfort. Just wait a week or two
and you. can go-out to the Exposition and
see the Igorrote dressed in a largo cra
vat and a small basket. Now, won't that
cool you off?
Today the bankers, In session at the
Exposition, are scheduled to witness the
cracking of a safe or an attempt thereat.
As they may have some trouble In finding
a safecracker, the following advertise
ment Is Inserted gratis:
WANTED Services of Gumshoe Jim. the
Gentleman Bank Burglar. Please call at
bankers headquarters, American Inn, 10
A. M. with all your little jimmies, a pound
or so of soft soap: a bottle of dynamite
soup, a face mask and the necessary accom
plices. We want you to show us how you
do It; so that when the confounded com
bination falls to work c can set Into the
safe ourselves.
Nothing to It.
Interlocutor What are you working at
now, Mr. Bones?
End Man I'se not doln' no wuk at all,
Mlstah Johnson.
Interlocutor What! Not - working?
End Man No. sah; I'se a dentist.
Interlocutor But. Mr. Bones, dentists
have to work, and work hard.
End Man Not mah kin' er dentist. Mls
tah Johnson.
Interlocutor And what kind of a den
tist are you. Mr. Bones.
End Man Why, I'se veterinary den
tist; I pulls hens teeth.
More About That Texas Maiden.
Here is the latest concerning the awful
thing that happened to a girl in Texas:
PASS IT ALONG.
She said that she couldn't climb fences.
But that was a city girl's yarn:
When she met the old cow she Just hol
lered "Wow!"
And they found her astride of the barn.
Houston Post.
Astride of a barn! Now what was her
plan?
We can't form the slightest conjecture;
We wish you'd enlighten us. please. It
you can
On the style of that girl's architecture.
Mllwaukle Sentinel.
We'd like to comply with your modest
request;
But for fear the maid will be mad'U
Just say that when chased by a bozlne no
maid
Walts to choose betwixt cross and side
raddle. 1
Houston Post.
Hold your horses, you fellows may hit
the wrong trail.
Just welting at one solar plexus;
Cut out the question of that young fe
male. What's the size of the barns down in
Texas?
New York Telegram.
Be the barns large or small in the old
Lone Star State
Does not interest us a bit;
That girl's to appear In refined vaudeville.
She's simply been learning the "spilt."
Trenton True American.
As a matter of fact. now. to get It exact.
That maiden Is learning the game
Of jumping up high so the feat she can
try
Of jumping an Oregon claim.
"Our Cliaunccy."
Who was it used to beam and shine.
Whose wit was mellow as the wine?
"Our Chauncey."
Who was It loudest, longest laughed
The while the sparkling draught he
quaffed?
"Our Chauncey."
Who was It always glad to dine
And after dinner speak a line?
"Our Chauncey."
Who made the merry Jest and quip
Like molten music drip and slip? -
"Our Chauncey."
Who was It used to be the It
At all affairs of wine and wit?
"Oar Chauncey."
Who told such tales we could not help
But yell, like any whelp, and yelp? "
"Our Chauncey."
Who Is it now and hence for aye
Hath not a witsotne word to say?
Your Chauncey.
Who Is It must go back and sit
Way down, with not a bit of wit?
No chance he! "
ROBERTOS LOVE.
OUT OF THE ORDINARY.
"Wasn't that woman club a success?"
"No: It had all the dlocomforU of home."
Brooklyn Life.
Landlord We have been forced- to raise
your rent. Tenant Oh thanks, I couldn't do
It myself. Judze.
"He'a a bad scholar. Isn't her "Incorrl
glble! He would rather go roaming: around
in the woods picking flowers than study hot.
any." Brooklyn L4fe.
Ho With, the Whiskers Say. feller, why
don't yer wear two slaases Instead, of only
one?. He With the Monocle Why. deuce take
It, y know, a fellah baa to aee. doesn't he?
Cleveland Leader.
"JullaV yelled the poet, "why don't you
inp that kid quHt? .What's the matter with
It? "I'm sure I don't know replied his
patient wife; 'Ta staging one of yor -lullabies
to the little darlteg. Philadelphia Press.
"Here's tt: clergyman who nrces that women
should go to church plainly dresaed." "In-'
deed? He must want to add -to the prob
lem. 'Why do not men go to charea? the
problem. 'Why do not" woaaea go to church? "
Puck.
"Did the father give the brlae away?" "I
should cay he did! He got rattled', 'and what
do you think he aaM.aa he hande her over
to tht) grooar "What? ' " 'It is more
blessed to give thaa to receiver ' Cleveland
Leader.
"What landed you here?" asked the prison
visiter. D!s Is a case o' asistagea Identity."
replied, the convict. "Ton saean jrou are
falsely lmprlscaed?" "I meaa d feller I
took fur me pal waa a 2y cop." Philadelphia
Ledger.
"Isn't It queer." said Slagtetoe. "that a
woman takes a bulk's came when she rsar
rlear "Oh. I doa't fcwsw. replied Wedder
ly. "It would be queerer still If she dlda't
take everything- el th peer Jay has." Chi
cago Dally News. .
A Coafwed Igayrnwten. "How did yea Bad
things ta America T' akd the bMerviewer
Of the aTsarepeas who had easai artr here t
look aroaasd. "Well." waa the aaswer. sredtc
it dilated, stacks dHMed aad tM Preeideat
la delighted." Washlgte Star.
"What la feat aa4 aterath disease?" "It
la ax aHweaC ratveh prevaleatt asaoag a eer
taln elves oC puMlc mem, wfca have- a had
aaerMh. sad every tisae thar t H they pC
their faec hi K. 3cxt Msm yea aa aaar a
aaraer est.'
LETTERS ON CURRENT TOPICS
"WestMt" State aad the Disagreeable Imyresalen the Name Sasrgeata
Father Deanaerala aad Murderer WUllaiaa.
PORTLAND, July a9.-Ta the Editor.)
While Joaquin Miller last Saturday
probably said nothing new In hla denun
ciation of the an too common misuse of
the word "Webfoot." his declaration had
all the directness and aptitude that so
characterize his writings, to the delight
of the reader. He dwelt chiefly on the
esthetic phase of tha matter, and It is
surely to be hoped that the words of this
world celebrity may greatly stop tha
puerile wits who belle their splendid com
monwealth by referring to It as the
"Webfoot State."
Shakespeare Inquired as to the value of
a name, and answered himself by the
assertion that a rose by any other name
would prove as sweet. Assuredly, but wo
would not think so unless the "other
name" was equally mellifluous. Has that
very useful though In some quarters! de
spised and always Ill-favored quadruped,
the hog, been In any wise helped by tha
ugly, curt, guttural sound of his name?
Did the use of the disparaging term of
"Grasshopper State" ever do Kansas any
good? Notwithstanding the proved fer
tility of the soli of that fine state, tha
writer cannot even now hear Kansas
mentioned without instantly correlating
Its name with the blighting grasshopper.
Our friends to the north, wide awake
to the commercial value of a pleasing
yet truthful designation, wisely call
Washington the "Evergreen State." What
could be more pleasing, and also suggest
ive, of the delight and profit resultant
from the generous, fertilizing rains with
which our neighbors are equally blessed
with ourselves, whereas we rest under a
title suggestive of dank morass, and a
region practically fit for nothing. Even
the great State of New York wisely does
not despise the dignity conferred by the
commanding name of "Empire State."
In all our stores of every degree, from
notions to leading Jewelry shops, we find
displayed In every variety, souvenirs
showing umbrellas frogs, webbed feet,
etc, supposed to be truly symbolical of
Oregon's climate and most valuable prod
ucts. These would not be displayed In
such profusion were there not a demand,
which, unfortunately. Is not by any means
confined to the unltlated tourist, who Is
largely at the'mercy of the shopkeeper In
his search for "suitable souvenirs. We
resident Oregonlans. and proud to be
such, should, under no circumstances,
purchase such freaks: and further, we
should make It our business. In every
proper manner, to discountenance their
being offered for sale. Our principal
stores should have sufficient patriotism
and far-seeing business sense to leave
the vending of such slanders to the
"cheap Johns," whose tenure among us
Is likely to be bounded by the Exposition
period. Even more reprehensible and far
reaching Is the use by some of our lead
ing wholesale merchants of "webfoot" as
a trademark for their widely advertised
goods, of which more may be said
later on.
Unfortunately, misnomers usually die
hard, but It is in the power of Oregonlans
to kill this evil. To show what can be
done by a resolute, united effort, witness
the case of one town, viz: Tacoma, which,
a few years ago. In spite of history, long
established custom, the opposition of the
other cities of the state and the rest of
the country, and even of the geograph
ical authorities of the United States, so
nearly succeeded in fastening the name
of Tacoma." on Washington's greatest
mountain. In entire displacement of time
honored Rainier, that both names appear
on the maps today to designate the same
peak.
The best way to eradicate "Webfoot"
should be to fight it with a pleasing and
apt designation. Some one perhaps F- V.
Holman, prompted the truthful and be
coming name of 'Rose City" for Oregon's
metropolis. Who will perform an equally
happy service for the State of Oregon?
Meanwhile, let us class the Instigator of
"Webfoot" with the nameless but sadly
notorious youth who fired the Epheslan
dome. T. W. B. LONDON.
A WORD FOR WILLIAMS.
Father Desmarals Gives His Impres
sions of the Murderer.
THE DALLES. Or.. July 20.-(To the
Editor) In order that -The Oregonlan
Friday or. Saturday may state things ex
actly as they are regarding Norman Wil
liams, who will be executed at 6 A. M..
Friday, for the alleged murder of Alma
Nesbitt. let me give you the following
Information:
Norman Williams became a convert to
the Catholic Church since his incarcera
tion In the Wasco County Jail. This
was effected on May 1. 1305. Norman
Williams was formerly a member of the
TWAIN'S STATUE TO ADAM.
Mark Twain, In the current Harper's
Weekly, tells a fresh story of his ancient
humor. Says he: "
"It Is long ago 30 years. Mr. Darwin's
Descent "of Man had been In print five
or six years, and the storm of Indigna
tion raised by It was still raging In pul
pits and periodicals. In tracing the gen
esis of the human race back to Its
sources, Mr. Darwin had left Adam out
altogether. We had monkeys, and 'miss
ing links. and plenty of other kinds of
ancestors, but no Adam. Jesting with
Mr. Bcecher and other friends In Elmlra.
I said there seemed to be a likelihood
that the world would discard Adam and
accept the monkey, and that in course of
time Adam's very name would be forgot
ten In the earth: therefore, this calamity
ought to be averted; a monument would
accomplish this, and Elmlra ought not to
waste this honorable opportunity to do
Adam a favor and 'herself a credit."
. Whereupon two bankers came forward
and proposed that auch a monument
should actually be erected (at a cost of
S25.C00), of Indestructible material, as a
business advertisement of the town. "It
would be the only monument on the plan
et to Adam, and In the matter of Interest
and lmpresslveness could never have a
rival until somebody should set up a mon
ument to the Milky Way." How it would
attract visitors and castomers! Mark
framed a humble .and beseeching memo
rial to Congress for help: the two bank
ers came forward with the promise of
$1660 and respectively, but somehow
Adam is still without a statue in Elmlra.
Origin of the Guinea.
Notes and Queries.
The guinea was first coined in Charles
n's raign. together with- the five guineas,
two guineas and half-guinea pieces, and
came to be so called because many of the
new coins were minted from gold brought
from Guinea by the Company of Royal
Adventurers .of England Trading Into
Africa- The royal order to the mint added
that these pieces were to be marked
"with a little elephant In such convenient
place aa you shall Judge fitting, which
Wee Intend as a marke of distinction,
and an Encouragement unto the said
Company In th Importing of gold and
silver to be coined." It may interest om
nibus drivers to hear that a castle .was
sometimes added ta the elephant.
One Incentive Lacking.
Chicago Record-Herald.
Engineer Wallace might have stuck, to
Isis job oa that canal if he csuld have
bees assured, that by e doing he would
have fcoeeaae the tegteal caadidate for
PreeMent la lf&
Ah Idle Phrase.
Jewell City (Kaa.) He-eatIaB.
'There Is one sstttee ia the English
Laagsage that has aa- easy tle aad
there ta na yosyeet of, its ever beg
If m ar fat -
Methodist Church and also a prominent
member of several secret orders, espe
cially that of the Masonic and Odd Fel
lows orders. Williams maintains his In
nocence now as he has always done since
his arrest. He has appeared to me to bo
of a certain refined type of character,
possessed of wide intelligence and a re
markable mem.ory. I have attended him
regularly since May f. and occasionally
before that time, and always I found
him to be collected, given to prayer and
to the reading of classical literature. Ha
read at least 50 volumes from our paro
chial library during the time he has spent
in the Wasco County Jail. He submit
ted for my perusal over 100 pages of a
statement covering his past life, and truly
I can say this much, that Norman Wil
liams has appeared to me "as an excep
tional character in the mysterious cir
cumstances of human experience." Many
strange things have been alleged against
this man, but the evidence Is all circum
stantial. I am a Arm believer In giving
to every man the benefit of a reasonable
doubt. Moreover, I do not believe and
never will believe In the execution of any
person on circumstantial evidence.
L. P. DESMARAIS.
Rector of St. Peter's Church, The Dalies.
Or.
IX THE SWEET BY AND Br
Wliat Will Happen When the Mil
lennium Comes?
PORTLAND. July 20.-(To the Editor.)
"The after-dinner orator Is born." And
so Is every other orator. "Elocution Is
an art." but it is a poor substitute for
eloquence. Training may aid the natural
ly deficient, but It cannot create the ora
tor. And what is true of after-dinner
speakers, and orators in general. Is true
of nearly every other calling In life. The
one to succeed must have natural ablllty
and adaptation. He must have the spirit
xf the work. Take charity work, for ex
ample. Unless one Is born to it, and filled
with the Impulse that leads to It, results
will be practical failures. Should anyone
enter that field "from motives of self-aggrandizement
he would prove a hindrance
rather than a help.
In music, what charm and what lmper-
fection. We all know what a man-mads
musician Is, but what people of good taste
have suffered from that source can never
be told. Take the stage and the pulpit
how they have been exalted or abased by
their occupants. "In the good time com
ing." when men take up the study of them
selves, their capabilities and adaptabili
ties, as one of their chief delights, they
will stop putting round men Into square
holes, and "square men into round holes.
In that day which may the good Lord
hasten a respectable wooden-head will
not be called upon to make a speech on a
public occasion. In that day the minister of
mere words and formalisms will disap
pear from the pulpit. The doctor, man or
woman, who advocates sterilization as a
means of Improving the race, will be the
first one to be sterilized. The thief, the
grafter, the dishonorable man. will b
kept out of office, and no woman will be
asked to sing the "Star-Spangled Banner"
In public for the reason that it is a mili
tary man's song, and one that cannot be
fitly sung by a woman. L. W. M.
Polluting the River.
PORTLAND. July 20.-(To the Ed
itor.) J desire to call attention of ths
readers of The Oregbnlan, and all who
have the Interest of the beautifying of
our city and surroundings at heart, to
the careless way In which manufacturing
plants on the waterfront who use oil for
fuel purposes, are permitting It to wasta
and spread over the river, coating it
with a black, filthy scum.
We are Inclined to pride ourselves on
possessing such a beautiful river, but
one has only to take a trip up or down
the Willamette to see how the pleasures
of aquatic recreations and sports are be
ing destroyed. Pleasure craft cannot re
main in the water a few minutes without
being coated with this scum and swimming-
In the open river has been, of
necessity, almost abandoned.
It seems to me that this condition is
unnecessary and Is due entirely to care
lessness, and there should be some mean3
of putting a stop to It. Furthermore. It la
In violation of the game laws and should
be attended to by the fish commissioners.
It is to be hoped that the proper parties
will take action to eradicate this prac
tice, for if allowed to continue and the
consumption of oil for fuel purposes In
creases. It will become a menace to tha
safety and health of the city. J. M. A.
THE REAL PERIL IN LANGUAGE
Professor Thomas R. Lounsbury. itt
Harper's.
It Is no infrequent remark that in
these latter days there exists a dis
tinct tendency toward lawlessness In
usage, a distinct Indisposition to defer
to authority. We are told that the lan
guage of the man In the street Is held
up as the all-sufficient standard. If
this statement were ever true, it was
never less true than now. There might
have been apparent Justification for an
assertion of this sort In the great crea
tive Elizabethan period. Then no re
straints upon expression seem to have
been recognized outside of the taste or
knowledge of the writer. As a conse
quence, the loosest language of conver
sation was reproduced with fidelity la
the speech of the drama, then tha
principal National literature. But noth
ing of this freedom is found now. A
constant supervision over speech is ex
ercised by the amateur champions o
propriety who are ensconced at every
fireside. In colleges and academies and
high schools an army of Instructors,
assumed to be experts, are regularly
engaged in holding In check any at
tempt to indulge in real or supposed
lawlessness.
It is not, therefore, from the quarter
of license that any real danger to our
speech arises. If peril exists at all, It
comes from the Ignorant formalism and
affected precision which wage perpet
ual war with the high-honored idioms
of our tongue, or array themselves in hos
tility to its natural development.
Verestchagin's Right Hand.
Philadelphia Bulletin.
A group of war correspondents wera
talking about the unhappy Russian paint
er. Verestchagin.
"Did you ever notice his right hanar
one said. -
"Indeed, yes," said another. 'How de
formed it was. It seemed incapable of
creating those grim pictures."
"Verestchagin," resumed the first corre
spondent, "once held up his right hand
before me with a sad smile. The thumb
was gone. 'A leopard,' he said, 'bit my
thumb to the bone It had to be ampu
tated. Tha middle finger stuck straight
out he could not bend it. 'A bullet once
passed throsgh this finger, leaving it
good for nothing. be said. Thea ia
moved the hand about with an odd, stiff
motion. 'Several of the small bones.' he
explained, 'were shattered in a fall from,
a pony on the steppes. The muscles have
been stiff ever since.
"Verestchagin's right hand endured
much before. In the end.t sunk In tha
cold sea; but It never lost its cunning
with the brash."
s t
A Voice From Wisconsin.
Milwaukee SeetineL
It to te he hoped that Seaater Deew
aMk: Senate? Mitchell eght' t.Tag
freaa the Senate wttheet uadue eeJay.