THE MORNING- OREGONIAN, FRIDAY, JULY 14, 1905. Entered at the Postofflce at Portland. Or., as second-class matter. SUBSCRIPTION' KATES. INVARIABLE IK ADVANCE. (By Mall or Express.) Dally and Sunday, per year .....S.00 Dally and Sunday, six months... ...... 5.00 Dally and Sunday, three months....... 2.35 Dally and Sunday, per month.......... .85 Dally without Sunday, per year 7.50 Dally without Sunday, six months 3.P0 Dally without Sunday, three months... 1.95 Dally without Sunday, per month.. 65 Sunday, per year 2.00 Sunday, six months 1.00 Sunday, threo months .CO BY CARRIER. Dally without Sunday, per week .15 Dally, per week, Sunday Included....... .20 THE WEEKLY OREGONIAN. (Issued Every Thursday.) Weekly, per year 1.50 Weekly, six months Weekly, three months........ - .50 HOW TO REMIT Send postofflce money order, express order or personal check on your local bank. Stamps, coin or currency are at the sender's risk. EASTERN BUSINESS OFFICE. The S. C Beckwith Special Agency New York, rooms 43-50 Tribune building. Chi cago, rooms 510-512 Tribune building. KEPT ON SAX.E. Chicago Auditorium Annex. Postofflce JCews Co., 178 Dearborn 6trcet. Dallas, Tex. Globe News Depot, 200 Main street. San Antonio, Tex. Louis Book and Cigar Co , 521 East Houston street. Denver Julius Black. Hamilton & Xend rlck, 1)06-912 Seventeenth street; Harry D. Ott, 15G3 Broadway; Pratt Book Store. 1214 Fifteenth street. Colorado Springs, Colo Howard H. Bell. Des Moines, la. Moses Jacobs. SOD Filth etrcet. Duluth. Minn. G. Blackburn, 215-West Su perior street. (ioldilcld, Nev. C Malone. Kansas City, Mo. Rlcksecker Cigar Co., Ninth and Walnut. Los Angeles Harry Drapkln; B. E. Amos, 514 West Seventh street. Minneapolis M. J. Kavanaugh, 50 South Third; L. Regolsburgcr, 217 First avenue South. Cleveland, O. James Pushaw, 307 Superior ttreet. New York City L. Jones & Co., Astor House. Oakland, C'ul. W. IL Johnston. Fourteenth and Franklin streets. . Ogden F. R. Godard and Meyers & Har top, D L. Boyle. Omaha Bar):alow Bros.. 1G12 Farnam; Mageath Stationery Co.. 130S Farnam; Mc Laughlin Bros.. 24C South 14th; McLaughlin & Holtz. 1515 Farnam. Sacramento. Cul. Sacramento News Co 429 K street. Salt Lake Salt Lake News Co.. 77 West Second street South; Frank Hutchison. Yellowstone Park, Wyo. Canyon Hotel. t Lake Hotel, Yellowstone Park Assn. Long Beach B. E. Amos. San Francisco J. K. Cooper & Co., 740 Market street; Goldsmith Bros., 230 Sutter: L. E. Lee, Palace Hotel News Stand; F. W. Pitts, 1008 Market; Frank Scott. 80 Ellis; N. Wheatley Movable News Stand, corner Mar ket and Kearney streets; Hotel St. Francis News Stand; Foster & Orear, Ferry News Stand. St. Louis, Mo.-E. T. Jett Book & News Company. 80C Olive street. Washington, I). C P. D. Morrison, 2132 Pennsylvania avenue. PORTLAND. FRIDAY. JULY 14. 1905. THE CONGRESSIONAL DIRECTORY. One perukes the autobiographies In this weird volume with feelings like a little boy's running pact a graveyard In the night. He expects a ghost to pop out from under every bush. Some times the ghost does pop out to scare the boy; but from these- tombs in the Congressional Directory -where rot the festering facts of so many noted careers under the grass and daisies of smooth, commonplace statements, no ghost ever peeps. The reader may skim along se curely, like Daphne over the flowers. He will see nothing uncanny: he will read nothing to shock. All is secure, conventional, discreet. It might be a collection of lives of honest men and patriots for all the volume itself shows. For some reason divers of these auto biographies are extremely brief; so brief that it almost seems the writer was afraid to say anything lest he say too much. If he opened his mouth at all, out would Jump the toads and frogs in spite of him. as they did from the bad little girl's in the fairy story. The American people ought, to be thankful for this reticence. How it would look if Senator Dietrich, for example, had told all about himself in a book which is referred to. more or less, in foreign lands! But he does not. He tells when he was born and when he Joined the glorious choir of grayhaired Senators but over the rest he draws a veil. Ad mirable reticence! Senator Burton tells even less than his colleague from Ne braska; and for the best of reasons there was a great deal more to keep silent about. With so much and such Interesting matter to write. Senator Burton contents himself with barely mentioning the date of his election: he does not even add the date of his conviction, for which one now looks, quite as a matter of habit, in a sketch of a Senator's life. "Senator X was born In 1835 (most of them were born In that decade); graduated at Yale in 1855; elected to the Senate in 1901; con victed in the United States District Court in 1905." Thus a typical biogra phy would run. but Senator Burton is a 'iolet. He dreads to lose his virgin bloom in the glare of publicity. He says in the directory: "Elected to the Senate in 1901": only that, and nothing more. When the prize is awarded for brevity it will go to him. He does not even tell whether he graduated at Yale or not, but the presumption is he did. Depew graduated there; Piatt and Dry den studied there: why not Burton? Could the odorous million be put to a more natural use than to equip men of that stamp for their life work? If Yale only had Burton on her board of trustees, what a halo she could achieve by expelling him; still, Depew does very well. Will the universities of the future keep a few decayed Senators among their trustees to use in emergencies, as Yale is using Depew? Should Harvard desire somebody else besides her illus trious son Penrose for a purpose like this. Gumshoe Bill, the noted Senator from Missouri, is recommended. She can adopt him by bestowing an LL. D. When a balloon begins to sink'the aero naut casts overboard a bag of sand. Thus might the alma mater, when her reputation sinks a little, throw out a superfluous Senator, as Yale Is now doing. Mr. Aldrich, of Rhode Island, might have seized the opportunity, when writ ing his autobiography, to impart a great deal of instruction in the -theory and art of vote-buying. Nothing could have been more useful to the young politician: nothing more Interesting to a man like Addicks, with whose un successful practice of the art Mr. Aid rich must sympathize. But he is -silent where he might be so improving. He does not even try to Illuminate the pos sible influence which a son-in-law of Standard Oil may have on legislation through a Senatorial father. Mr. Aid rich, theoretically representing the la'-, significant State of Rhode Island, actu ally representing Standard Oil, in the United States Senate, is said to out weigh in that body the whole trans Mlssisslppl region. Were he an Im provement upon Dietrich, Burton, Clark. Mitchell and the rest In states manship or character, this would not be very regrettable: but he is not. Mr. Aldrich omits the really Important facts of his career from the Congressional Directory for the same reason that Bur ton does. He omits them because he is ashamed to tell them; and for this shame he Is to be commended 'above men like Alger and Clark, who omit nothing but slaver everything over with falsehood. Alger boasts of his 1S7 votes in the Chicago Convention of 1SSS as proudly as if he had not bought some negro delegations and failed in an attempt to buy the rest. He says nothing of the 3500 soldiers who died of preventable disease In the Spanish War, to about 250 killed on the battlefield; and of course his silence is wise. To the read er's great regret. Mr. Clark, of Mon tana, barely mentions the Senatorial investigation in 1899 which he headed off by resigning. Why does he not tell what the Investigation was about and vindicate his Innocence of anything like purchasing a Legislature? Why does not Senator Foraker disprove the com mon report that he received $100,000, more or less, to get a franchise for the Cincinnati Traction Company from the same Legislature that made him Sena tor; that he is still counsel for that company, and uses his power as Sena tor to subject Cincinnati to its unbri dled greed? Mr. Foraker aspires to be President of the United States. The poet Milton tells of a personage, not unlike Mr. Foraker in character, who aspired to reign in heaven with much the same prospect of success. Newspapers like the New York World discuss whether or not the Sen ate is degenerating and decide one way or the other according to evidence or prejudice. The question is -without in terest. The Important fact is that the Senate is bad. It may have been worse some time In the past; it may be bet ter some time In the future. But clear ly and indisputably It is bad now. What is the hope of the railroads In their controversy with the President over a just regulation of rates? Through the connivance of the Senate, where they, and not the people, are rep resented, these corporations hope to continue their lawless, freebootlng ca reer. Every trust which looks for profit in lawbreaklng or evasion has Its repre sentation in the Senate: if he Is not a member of the trust, he is In Its pay. The tariff cannot be equitably adjusted because the Interests which profit by Its Iniquities are strong In the Senate. The parcels post, of immeasurable value in promoting the civilization of the coun try, cannot be established because Sen ator Piatt is retained' by the express companies. Senator Elkins is not half so much chairman of the Senate's in terstate commerce committee as he Is attorney for the Interstate railroads. Mr. Hay's arbitration treaties, the greatest achievement of a great states man. Infringed upon the prerogative of the Senate; they were destros'ed. Greedy, grasping.. Insatiable of power; allied with predatory, lawbreaklng cor porations; constantly encroaching upon the functions of the President; the indi vidual Senators shelter themselves be hind their corporate body and defy both public sentiment and the law. But sometimes the shelter falls them. Yale casts her Chauncey as a sop to public opinion. A Dietrich, a Burton, a Mitch ell, trips and the law catches him.' The Nation moves toward the belief that Legislative election of Senators is a mistake: it results In the degradation of legislators and Senators both; but how to replace it with some better method is one of those problems whose solution must grow out of many ex periments and many failures. AN UNCERTAIN WHEAT MARKET. The energetic bears In the Chicago wheat market have succeeded in reduc ing prices about 6 cents per bushel In the past three or four days. and. unless the Hessian fly. the chlnchbug or some other friend of the bull operator comes to the rescue, there will be a further re cession in prices. One of the principal factors in the decline of the past few days has been the report that the Ca nadian Northwest would this year pro duce from 60,000.000 to 70.000,000 bush els more wheat than last year. It Is, of course, rather early to Indulge in any quantitative statements of the Canadian crop. but. taking into consideration the enormous number of new settlers that have been pouring into the wheat dis tricts of the Canadian Northwest for the past Ave years, there Is no reason to doubt that under favorable circum stances there should be a very heavy Increase over the output of former sea sons. High prices for wheat have a tend ency to increase production, and at the same time restrict consumption. The latter feature of the matter Is less no ticeable In this country In times of gen eral prosperity like the present than when limes are hard and the purchas ing powers of the people are much cur tailed. But the most bullish reports that have yet appeared credit the United States with a probable yield at least 100.000.000 bushels greater "than that of a year ago. This additional amotint, making the most liberal pos sible allowances for feed and home con sumption, will result in this country again lining up with the exporting na tions of the earth, and we shall be forced to sell at least a portion of the surplus in competition with the wheat of other countries. It was the light crop and great pros perity in the United States that has for more than a year kept the price of wheat the world over at figures consid erably above the average of recent years. The effect of these prices has been a vastly Increased output from In dia, the Argentine and Russia. The latter country, in particular, has been making phenomenal shipments throughout the season, and. although they are trailing well Into another crop, the average weekly exports from the Russian ports are still hanging around 5,000,000 bushels, with the Argentine showing larger shipments than are usually noted In the height of the sea son. These are the disturbing factors which argue for lower prices unless our 1905 wheat crop In the United States turns out to be as near a failure as that of a year ago. Natural, and to a great degree un changeable, are these conditions which must be met by the American wheat grower, and eventually there must pre vail a scale of prices based on them. It does not follow from this that there will be an immediate return to such natural conditions. The Chicago mar ket, which to all Intents and purposes is the American market, has for months been in the hands of a speculative ele ment, which, with the equipment of practically unlimited funds, has been enabled to Juggle it up or down accord ingly as Its wishes were best suited. With this element of uncertainty in jected into the situation, violent changes are not to be wondered at,. and thl-y will probably be very much In evi dence until the new wheat begins to move In such volume that it will not be a difficult matter to get a fairly ac curate line on the dimensions of the crop. THE ENFORCEMENT OF LAW. Governor Joseph W. Folk, of Mis souri, has In a recent Issue of the Inde pendent a brief and timely article on the above topic. The keynote of his presentment Is: "No official has a right to Ignore any law. It Is not for him to say whether the law is good or bad, but to enforce it as he finds It upon the books." It is suggestive of things out of Joint that any official finds it neces sary to exploit this theory .in words. His acts should be sufficient evidence that he understands this simple fact that he understood and subscribed to It in taking hls official oath. Good or rbad. the laws should be enforced with out regard to wealth or title or posi tion. If bad, the way to prove them so and to secure their modification or re peal Is to enforce them rigorously and persistently. This Is a trite saying, but it is true. An example In proof thereof Is to be made In this city by the enforcement of an ordinance restricting the sale of liquors in public eating-houses and abolishing boxes or private apartments therein. That the terms of this ordi nance are too sweepmg is possible. If so. a test rigorously applied will cause them to be modified. It Is said that the law infringes upon personal liberty and places the decent, orderly citizen who desires and has a right to dine m seclusion with his family or friends upon a level with Immoral and design ing men. who seek through the seclu sion of the restaurant box an oppor tunity to lead Inconsiderate and unso phisticated girls into paths of shame. This may be true. but. If unjust, the enforcement of the law will demon strate It. It may, however, prove to be merely the price that orderly citizens should and must pay for the protection of the weak and the defeat of the de signs of libidinous men. who. without conscience, prey upon weakness and folly. Furthermore, it may be the price that men whose pride In the good name of the city is not all of a commercial quality are required to pay for the honor of Portland upon the basis of common decency. It is not necessary to go Into detail to prove that the "box ordinance" strikes at an evil of vast proportions and far-reaching possibilities In the dark domain -wherein are ruined homes, young women lost to virtue, and despic able men who feed, unashamed, upon the wages of sin. Enough Is known of these facts to brand the little dark side box In an ordinary restaurant as the vestibule of the place whose steps lead to moral degradation and literally "take hold on hell." If It !p possible to segre gate from these places those whose patrons demand seclusion at meal time. In a legitimate way, let It be done. Men well read In the lore of human nature think it will be difficult, not to say Impossible, to do this and still at tain the object sought. "It has been my experience," says Governor Folk, "that any law looks blue to a man who wants to break It." THE COTTON REPORT SCANDAL. Mr. Holmes, assistant statistician of the Agricultural Department, created much commotion in the market for that great staple by selling to brokers ad vance information which enabled them to "rig" the market to suit their pur poses. For this an effort Is being made to prosecute the statistician who vio lated his trust, and the department Is making a strenuous effort to square matters with the public Fortunately, or unfortunately, as the case may be, the legitimate cotton dealers do not. place any more confidence in the Gov ernment cotton report than the wheat men place In the same department's report on the wheat crop. The price of cotton advanced more than J2 per bale on Monday, and the controlling factor in the advance was the belief that the June report of the Government had failed to reflect even approximately the true condition of the crop. It Is. of course, a matter of record that will not soon be forgotten that the appearance of the June report was fol lowed by a violent disturbance: but it very shortly afterward developed that much of this disturbance was caused by the "leakage" which had equipped a few men with information that they used to the best possible advantage. Men who are surprised act quickly, es pecially the gamblers of the Price and Sully type, who are credited with brib ing the statistician, and it was the ra pidity with which the Price coup was put through that made it successful and provoked the "roar" which resulted In the Investigation of the department's methods. Quite naturally, it is useless to expect perfect accuracy In forecast ing any crop, but the Government has been at fault not only in Its cotton re ports, but in wheat, corn and about every other product that comes within the province of the Agricultural De partment. It Is unable to secure the same degree of accuracy In Its reports that Is secured by private operators. When any difference exists between the estimates made by the Government and those made by private parties, it would be quite natural to expect that the former, having all of the advantage of unlimited funds and a large corns of statisticians, would be the nearer cor rect; but the experience of years has demonstrated that such is not the case. The legitimate trade Is still forced to throw aside the Government report and depend on statistics of its own gather ing, and at the same time must fight the pernicious effect of the Government report, which Is used by gamblers to further their own ends. The weekly re ports on the cotton crop which had pre ceded the monthly report giving the condition at the end of June, were all quite favorable, and were viewed with less suspicion than usual, because they coincided to a greater extent than usual with the private advices received by the trade. But the monthly report was so strangely at variance with the reports received each week- that Its appearance created a decided surprise. It was dis trusted and discredited by the trade; but the enormous speculative following which never yet bought or sold a bab? of cotton for legitimate use worked It to the limit, shearing the shorts out of fabulous sums and throwing the entire market, legitimate and illegitimate Into hysterics. It Is not at all compli mentary to the Judgment or Intelli gence of Secretary Wilson that he feels called on to keep his associates under lock and key, with telephonic communi cation cut. and the wndows watched, for hours before the report Is Issued This fact. If no other, .would indicate quite clearly that reform was sadly needed In the Agricultural Department. A week has passed since the cele bration of the Fourth of July and the usual harvest of death and suffering as the result, of firecrackers injudiciously exploded has been and Is yet to be gathered. From statistics so far as ob tained at least 100 children will die and about 4000 have been injured, one fourth of this number seriously. That is to say, 1000 children at least have lost a hand, a foot or an eye. or have received some facial Injury that will be a lifelong blemish. What of It? There was plenty of noise and march ing, music and speaking, eating and drinking. These things have come to constitute a vgood time." and for the Fourth of July they are exponents of patriotism. To moralize about It Is a waste of words; to compile accident statistics is a waste of time and brain power. The American people want a noisy Fourths They will have It. Death and accident are minor consider ations that have little weight when the programme for a "celebration" Is being made out. The American flag Is not a banner that can be trailed In the dust with im punity when the trailing Is done for the purpose of dishonoring the, flag and what it stands for. The London (On tario) Incident, however, will not be seriously regarded. A drunken Ameri can boor offered a very grievous Insult to the Canadians, and the trampling of the flag followed not because the men who trailed it In the dust were enemies of the country that is proud of the Stars and Stripes, nor as an affront to the American people; but simply as a hasty method of resenting nn uncalled for insult. Canada to the- Canadians is as good a country as is America for the Americans. When an American so far forgets himself as to insult the Canadians on their own ground, he may expect retaliation. The Governor of Wyoming, the Gov ernor of Ohio and the Governor of Cal ifornia were entertained at the Expo sition grounds Wednesday not by the Chief Executive of the great State of Oregon, who had more Important busi ness (marching in an Elks parade in an Eastefn city), but by our .business men. The Exposition Is the greatest event that the state has ever witnessed, and. with the exception of the Gov ernor, all of the prominent officials of the state and city, and our representa tive business men. have remained at home to greet the distinguished visit ors. Our Governor, however, seems to And more congenial pleasure elsewhere than he could get out of the mere for mality of greeting the distinguished visitors who have honored us with their presence. Officers of the State Penitentiary and of Marlon County are to be congratu lated upon their success in securing evidence sufficient to convict the man who furnished the rifles used by the desperadoes Tracy and Merrill. in mak ing their escape hi 1902. This Is a more satisfactory outcome of that unfortu nate affair than anyone had hoped to see accomplished. Tracy and Merrill are dead, and when Charles Monte and his accomplice. Harry Wright, have met their punishment, the majesty of the law will have been maintained as well as possible under the circum stances. The success of crime Is a dis organizing force in any government. Punlshnymt. swift and sure, creates re spect for law and lessens crime. The programme of the Methodist Congress, now being held In this city, at which five states are represented. Is a suggestive document. Subjects han dled touch nearly every side of per sonal and social life. One exception is noticeable. The relations of the Meth odist Church to organized, federated or co-operative labor do not appear to be treated. In view of the action taken by other prominent religious bodies In face of these great problems at this time, the omission seems strange. It would be Interesting to have this Co operative Christian Federation, Just setting to work in Oregon, discussed before a representative body of that church of which its founder is stated to be a minister. There are a great many poetic gems drifting around the literary work! with out known sponsors, and accident only occasionally reveals the source from which they sprung. On of these "un knowns" reads thusly: The whole world loves the modest man. Who Is silent all day as the owls; But It's needless to mention It gives Its at tention To the fellow who Rets up and howls. Unless he can prove an alibi and keep out of the limelight for six months at a stretch, the authorship of this verselet will be quite generally attributed to the new Corporation Counsel of the City of Chicago, the pink whiskered Jay Ham Lewi?. Emperor Nicholas appears to want to send to Washington commissioners who cannot, or will not, make peace. He has Generals In Manchuria who cannot make war. and altogether he Is In posi tion of the dog who couldn't eat hay, but wouldn't let any one else eat It. However. Japan can make war If she cannot conclude a peace. Senator Depew says he wants to re tire. Retire from what? He has just begun a new term In the Senate, to which he pleaded plteously that the Legislature of the State of New York elect him. Why didn't he think about retiring then? In M. Wltte Russia has named her best-equipped and most liberal-minded commoner as head of the peace com mission. If he had remained clothed with high powers. Russia would have fewer troubles now. Manager McCredle, of the Giants, temporarily laid up for repairs, came back to Portland for surgical treatment at a time when experts were never so plentiful. Among other things worth, boasting of Is Portland's good behavior since the Fair opened. The city has been nota bly free from disorder and petty crimes. Portland's many Eastern visitors, after they read the weather reports this week from home, will make compari sons not to our disadvantage. OREGON OZONE Rah! Hah! Rah! Yale! Great is the belly of Father Yale! More of a marvel than Jonah's whale! Listen, my children, and hear the tale: It swallowed a million of tainted money, A cargo of Rockefeller's rocks. All at a gulp, and then, by gunny! Suffered a series of shuddering shocks. Began to splutter and retch and spew. And puked up Chauncey M. Depew! Walter Scott, the Death Valley Croesus, has started for New York, "to buy out the , whole works." as he expresses It, "with a bank roll that a dog couldn't jump over." Great Scott! O Mr. Scott. Mr. Walter Scott, If more than you need are the scads you've got. Pray do not blow them. Please do not throw them Wildly away n your Innocent glee! Please don't, now. Scotty think of me! The Belllngham Herald describes Butte. Mont., as "a town famous for Clark, copper and cussedness." Why should Mary MacLane be thus slighted? Or perish the thought! does the Herald In tend the third count In Its Indictment to stand for Mary? ' Along about the Fourth of July we prate about our patriotism. But If we were asked to recite the "Star-Spangled Banner." or "The Battle Hymn of the Republic," or even that old beloved "America," the chances are ten . to one that we would stumble and fall down over the first bump on the second line of either. If we are patriots, why don't we learn our National hymns of patriotism? As our old friend Hiram Hayneld. of Grass Valley, . would say, we pause for reply. Hiram Hnyfleld's Views. Grass Valley, Or., July 13, 1905. Dere .Eddytur: r sea thet the boJJy of the alt J. P. Jones. E. S. Q., hex bin dugg upp and Iz now beln transported too hlz native land, sew too speke, awltho Mister J. wuz born and brung upp Inn bonny Scotland. John P. Jones was our first Admirable, butt thay dlddent kawl hlmm thet when hee wuz skyhootln around the seven sees. They kawle.l nlm a PIrut. Thet is, the Brit ish dldd. The slttlzens of thlss grate and glorious Republlck dlddent think enny mower or John P. than wee now think of wun of our sekond-hand poits. Thay waited till hee wuz ded and thy wuz awl ded 2. bee they rekognlzed hlmm a-tall. Even then they hed a moughty hard time a-reckognlzln J. P.. for hee newer set fur no foty grafs nur hed hlz plcter painted by Gilbert Stuart nur Charles Dana Gib son. Hee newer even gott his phiz karrykachured by Homer Davenport, the grate karrykartoonlst of Sllverton, Oregon. 1 rekkon Iff J. Paul hed set fur his plcter the Poleeze Gazoot wud hev printed Itt and then Mister J. wud hev bin runn Inn by the Scotland Yard slooths and strung upp at the Sine of the Dubbel Cross, or summers else in bonny Ingland. But J. P. Jones manalgcd to eskape the klutches of the British bulldozer and dyed In piece att the village of Paree, Frants, whare hee wuz berried with a lott of uther folks hoo hed bin nlglektcd by thayr native land or the place wharo thay hed tuck out nacher llznshun papers. Fur 117 years, or thareabouts, P. Jones reposed In piece and kumfurt, till Gincral Horse Porter beckame min ister penitentiary .and ongvoy extra and ordinary to Frants. GIneral Por ter wun day sez too hlsself. "Ilo dlgg upp ths bones of J. P. Jones and thare by malk my nalm awlmost as Immortal az thet of I-ferglt-who att the pres sunt rltln." Sew hee dugg upp J. P., butt hee hed a moughty hard time n-findin the sub jlck of tnlss sketch, hoo wuz nalmeJ Jones. Awl Joneses looked alike to Glncrul Porter, and sew manny Joneses wuz berried In that thare French graveyard thet Itt wuz awlmost az mutch az a man's reppytashun wuz worth too aware thet eney pcrtlkler Jones wuz the wun devoutly too bee wished. Howsumevver. aflter sum ekspert testlnvinny thay desided thet thay hed the rite Jones, an now thay air brin gin hlmm over too berry hlmm Inn the land thet forgot hlz nalm and ped- dygree sum yeres bee4 hee dyed. Itt's a grand thing, thlss reserrektln the grate and mlty. but inn my umbel oplnyuh wee ort too pay sum atten ahun too the salm while thay air llvin, and then mebbe wee cud Identyfy the corps 117 yeres affter the sadd and sollem okkashun, without resortln too komparytlve annatomy. Yores till my necks' Hiram Hayneld. P. S. I nearby puppose thet thlss grate and gloryus Republlck putt a tagg onto Admirable Jorge Dewey fur Identynkashun pupposes. H. H. ROBERTUS LOVE. Is This a Guide to Old Age? Another pointer for old age Is given by Joseph Zeltlln, who celebrated his 100th birthday In Brooklyn Monday, and while smoking his cigar and sipping his toddy, laid down these rules: Never have a doctor and don't go into a drugstore. Don't worry. Never be In a hur ry. Don't eat "quick luncheons." Take little meat, especially In early life. Sleep eight hours a day. When you reach the age of GO do as you pleaie. And Mr. Zeltlln. who is a native of Poland, and became wealthy as a mer chant there, is still active in habit and a great reader, never having had to use glasses, and he follows his own rule about doing as one pleases at his age. He In tends to revisit his home In the old coun try, presently, and enjoying life Immense ly, he hopes to enjoy it for 25 years more. But one may venture to say that he won't if he keeps on his present fashion, and that he wouldn't have reached his cen tury If he had even approached the pro gramme thus described: He rises every mornlnK at 5 o'clock and has a cup of tea. At 8 he drink a glass of beer, smokes a cigar and a Russian cigarette. Then be Is ready for a light breakfast and another smoke. Two whliklea are due at S o'clock, and another at 10. At noon the centenarian has two sandwiches and two glaues of beer. During the afternoon b reads, smokca and drinks, pipping toddles and beer. He has his principal meal of the day at 0 o'clock, when he has a large bowl of beef tea. a steak or a generous cut of roast beef, plenty of vegetables, some fruit and beer. Then there Is more fceer during- the evening, and finally, at 0 o'clock, his bedtime, the day Is cltid with a Miff little nightcap. What strikes-one here Is the poor pen nyworth of bread to an Intolerable deal of sack. Incomplete. Tales. "Lucy, how would you define a 'frag ment'?" "A love story In which the lovers don't quarrel." LETTERS ON CURRENT TOPICS General Aaderaoa DiacBsne UBltariaBlntn Direct Primaries and tae People Eat Side IHjch Sckool The NHlsance of Tobacco. PORTLAND, July 13. (To the Editor.) We have recently had In Portland an assembly officially designated "The Pa cific Coast Conference of Unitarian and Other Christian Churches." Is the Uni tarian church a Christian church? In what sense Is It Christian in dogma? Evidently, its ministers wish to have it considered in the Christian fold, for the first address In the conference was on the Bible from, a liberal Christian stand point. Then followed one on liberal Chris tianity, and then another on liberal or thodoxy as distinguished from strict or thodoxy. The purpose of these and other discourses seemed to be to assert that Unitarians are Christians In esthetics, but not in theology. As one of the speak ears said: "We are followers of Christ In all except his assumption of divinity." Any religion Is better than no religion. The moral teachings of Christ are the best, plainest and most practical ever given to men. The regular churches de serve all reverence and respect. Yet with all deference, be It said that Unitarians should not claim to be Christian if they do not believe In the divinity of Christ. Compromises are proper in politics, but not In religion. Our accepted moral dog mas arc true, not because Christ taught them, but Christ taught them because they were true. It Is claimed by many that the Prophet of Nazareth did not claim to be God. The statements of the New Testament are too positive to Justify this assumption. He states too emphatically that "I and the Father are one." His claim to a per sonal loyalty was what secured him a fol lowing never given to such abstract mor alists as Socrates. Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius. Buddha, Moses. Christ and Mo hammed all claimed to speak by divine authority, and demanded obedience and received It. The trouble with Christian Unitarianlsm Is that It has no prophet. As a consequence. It has no clearly defined faith. Mohammed, gross. Ignorant and sensual, yet taught two great truths, the unity of God and the Immortality of the soul. One hundred and eighty millions bf men still believe that Allah is God, and Mo hammed is his prophet. For 13C0 years men have gone- to their graves like beds for Islam. Who has ever died at the stake or fought in the field for Christian Unitarianlsm? I have never yet seen a working man or woman in a Unitarian church. Yet It is this class that most needs the support and consolation of religion. Why are they not with us? The less fortunate people of the world used to be consoled with the assurance that the pains, privations and Inequalities of this life would find compen sation In a future life. The regular churches made these promises on the strength of revelations. But recently a very large proportion of working people have given up church-going. They have lost faith In revelation, hope In a future life as a compensation for earthly ills, and resent proffers of charity. They de mand justice and equal opportunity. Can Unitarianlsm give to the doubtful a rational hope and to the discontented an assurance of justice? The most prac tical faith we can have in this world is faith In each other. That Is the basis of a moral socialism: a brotherhood of man with no primogeniture In It. That would be the touch of nature that would make the world akin, as the grsed of gain Is the touch of nature which makes the whole world sin. THOMAS M. ANDERSON. SITE OF NEW HIGH SCHOOL Shall the City Make Change In Location? PORTLAND. July-13. To the- Editor.) in regard to the present agitation con cerning the location of the new East Side High School. I desire to say that not only do I feel convinced that a serious mis take has been made In selecting the site at present proposed, but that a rapidly Increasing number of taxpayers realize that the action was hasty and Ill-advised and would be glad to be given an oppor tunity for reconsideration. During the coming week the National Conference of Charities and Correction will be In session In our .city, and there will be In attendance delegates from all parts of the United States, from older cities than ours, both large and small cities where this same problem either has been fought out or Is pressing for solu tion. I would therefore suggest that during this time a meeting of the taxpayers be held, which will give opportunity not only to our own people for a fuller and more mature expression of opinion, but will also give us the benefit of the ex perience of these distinguished visitors. In the purchase of a new site the per caplta share of the necessary tax would be too Insignificant to deserve considera tion, especially when one reflects upon the seriousness of the question involved. MITCHELL AND FACTION. Responsibility for the Present Low Estate of the Republican Party in Oregon. Grant's Pass Observer. Mitchell has been the bane of the Re publican party in Oregon and he is likely to continue so to the last. If. knowing, as he did. the Invincible chain of evi dence that would be produced against hlra he had voluntarily resigned office about the time he made that brazen speech In the Senate. It would probably have been much better for him. and cer tainly would have been more In accord with his duty to the Republican party, to which he owes so much. His successor would then have been named by the Republican majority of the Legislature. But in all his career Mitchell cared little for the Republican party in comparison with the concern he felt for Mitchell. And even yet he hold3 people and news papers In an unholy alliance that has no regard for party Interests, as may be Judged from the following extract from tho Salem Statesman: Some newspapers act on the assumption that those Republicans who have been friendly to Senator Mitchell In the past, are on trial In the United States courts at Fort land. It Is mildly suggested that such assumption Is not apt to bring those Repub licans any nearer In touch with the other wing of the party. The sooner, therefore, such rot Is cut out of these papers, the soon er will there be hopes of reuniting the two wings of the Republican party. Mitchell Is the man who brokeUhe Re publican party with faction, and who with his abettors, has made It a carica ture of what it should be. With the end of the political career of Mitchell we may hope for an end of party debauchery also, and Republicans need no reunion on the lines suggested by the Salem States man. The Republican party must purify Itself or else give the state over to the Democrats, and If it can only be purified by the latter means, then that means will be acceptable to all good Republic ans. It Is a clear case that the party, under the pernicious influence of Mitchell and others of his kind is fast losing the confidence of the people of this state, and Its hope is not In vicious alliances, but In return to the sound principles and good government that it stands for. Dr. Depew's Profitable Grafts. New York Sun. The latest published statistics of the Hon. Chauncey M. Depew'a activities ex hibit him as director of not less than 74 corporations. If every corporation with which he Is connected in this capacity had been as appreciative of his geniality and his legal learning as the Equitable. Dr. Depew would enjoy an Income, from this 60urce alone, of J1,4S0,000 a year. The city is growing rapidly, and at no future time will It be possible for our School Board to .secure playground space at a more reasonable price than now. Playgrounds, are pleasanter and cheaper than reform schools. The warning con tained In Mrs. Kelley's letter In yester day's Issue should be considered serious ly. Let us profit by it. CATHERINE C. CHAPMAN. FAVORS DIRECT PRIMARY. This Correspondent Thinks Senator Should Be So Elected. LEBANON, Or.. July 13. (To the Ed itor.) The trouble with your Salem cor respondent's theory of the direct-primary law and the United States Senatorship Is that it would entirely vitiate the ob ject of its promoters the people. No Multnomah or other representative would make a campaign for his own nomina tion on the theory that he was opposed to the direct election of United States Senators by the people, and yet. to say that he would be governed in the elec tion of a Senator, not by the vote of tho entire state, but by that of his county only, would be to say, first, that he Is only a county officer, when he Is' a part of the state government; second, that la his judgment a Senator In Congress Is to represent merely a county and not the state, and that he prefers a factional fight, anyway, rather than to let tho people decide the matter in accordance with their expressed wish. Everybody knows the object of this fea ture of the direct-primary law. It was to take the election of United States Sena tors out of the hands of the Legislature, where it always drags tWrough tho entlro 40 days, giving the utmost latitude to tho application of schemes and logrolling of every description, including the promises of offices, afterwards delivered, for tho purpose of changing a legislator's vote In a direction where It would not other wise go, and those who care for a refor mation of this system and for securing an expression from the people themselves, will offer no technical theories by which some representative can prolong the ago nies of "factional lines" which the .direct-primary law Is specifically intended to obliterate. There will be no more excuse for a rep resentative confining the expression of the people of the entire state to that oC his own county In the matter of support ing a Senator of the United States than there would be for a delegate to a state convention to continue supporting at the polls the man his county had favored for the nomination for Attorney-General, though the rest of the state had support ed another man. Let us not begin to hunt for hypotheses by which the expressed will of the people may be thwarted. This spirit Is at the bottom of all the political troubles which are besetting our country at every turn. The direct-primary law Is Intended to give the legislators, servants of the peo ple of the entire state in the matter of United States Senators, and not of coun ties, an expression of their preference. That Is all. It Is fair and sensible, and no rational objection can be found with it as a means of obliterating factional lines, and who does not pray for such a consummation? REPUBLICAN. ONE KIND OF SMOKE NUISANCE Is There No Way to Keep Him Off the Streets? PORTLAND, July 13. (To the Editor.)- I was much interested in your article or:' pure food In this morning's issue. We cannot do too much to hasten the hour when all who engage in the adulteration of foods or drugs shall be driven out of "business: Surely- they have no rjjht- to exist. But how about having only- pure air to breathe? There is a large class of men (no women) who go about render ing the air we all have to breathe unfit to be taken Into our lungs. And they act as If they were blissfully Ignorant that they were doing anything out of tho way. They do not seem to care how much they may add to the discomfort of others: and even when admonished of their wrong, think to excuse themselves by saying: "Well. It is a habit." The vitiation of the air In the streets, public offices, depotg. steamboats and railway cars Is becoming perfectly- abominable and unbearable. Who ha? the right to do anything which renders the air unfit to breathe, or sickening and poisonous? Much Is said about the "smoke nuisance." meaning the black smoke coming front the chimneys of our factories. But one can avoid these places. They are not peripatetic. But no one can avoid those chimneys which walk about everywhere, vomiting out volumes of tobacco smoke Into the faces of other people. It is time that there was called a halt to the" use of smoking tobacco and the habit of spitting In our streets and all other pub lic places. E. F. MUNDY. A GREAT AFRICAN REPUBLIC? Norman Notwood, In Leslie's Weekly. Already the cblorcd man Is a formidable force In the game of party politics in one and the oldest South African colony. The native vote In this colony has becomo so large, and the natives are pressing their numerical advantage so strongly, that the whites have already raised the question of a suffrage limitation to save themselves from political annihilation. But It Is clear enough that this eaiwdlent will not save them. The population I of Cape Colony, including the territories. Is, In round numbers. 1.200.000, and the white population 277,000. Day by day the power of the native grows. The gate of tho po litical arena stands wide open to him. and he. Is not slow to enter. Tie negroes everywhere are a remarkably fecund race, and they are increasing, relatively, much' faster than the whites. Africa Is first of all the black man's country, and all that climatic conditions and the congenial en vironments a native habitat can do to help him In his struggle upward are there present. To all other influences now tending to the development of the negro to a higher social and political rank must be added the force- of education. For in South Africa, as in this "country, the negroes "take" to education with remarkable readiness and success. According to the Cape Government educational report, pub lished three months ago. the actual num ber of children receiving education In the public schools of the colony at the end of last year was 91.313 colored and 60.S49 white. The natives are awakening from the slumber of centuries, and there is no more remarkable feature of this awaken ing than their almost Insatiable thirst for knowledge. Cape Colony and the territo ries are literally covered with native schools, the territories alone having sev eral hundreds. These schools are manned very largely by native teachers who have passed one or other of the Cape Univer sity qualifying examinations, and who display no lack of Intelligence In their work. All this means, in brief and in plain language, that South Africa Is surely des tined at no distant day to come under native rule, to be governed by negroes for negroes. Attempts at disenfranchise ment and limitations of the suffrage will only hasten the day of negro supremacy, A Natural Question. Puck. Mr. Corrlgan How much d yes charge fer pullln teet'? Dentist With gas, one dollar. Mr. Corrlgan An how much w!d electric loight?