THE MORNING OREGOXIAX, WEDNESDAY, JULY 12, 1905. & iEntered at the Postoffice at Portland. Or., as second-claes matter. SUBSCRIPTION RATES. INVARIABLE IN ADVANCE. (By Mail or Express.) Dally and Sunday, per year Ially and Sunday, six month. ...... T)ally and Sunday, throe months Dally and Sunday, per month......... Dally without Sundaj. per year Dally "without Sunday, lx month Dally without Sunday, three months. - JO.OO COO 2.55 .85 7.50 3.90 1.05 .65 Daily without Sunday, per moma Sunday, per year. Sunday, elx months... ............ Sunday, three months... BY CARRIER. Dally -without Sunday, per week.., Dally, per -week. Sunday Included .. 2.00 .. 1.00 .. .-co m .15 . .20 THE TVEEKLT OREdONIAN. (Issued Every Thursday.) "Weekly, per year - Weekly, six months - "Weekly, three months ou HOW TO REMIT Send postofnee money order, express order or personal check on your local "bank. Stamps, coin, or currency are at the sender's risk. EASTERN BUSINESS OFFICE. The S. C. Beckwlth Special Ajrency N'ew Tork, rooms 48-50 Tribune buildlnp. Chi cago, rooms 510-312 Tribune building. KEPT ON SALE. Chicaco Auditorium Annex, Postoffice tsr.n-r pn ITS "Dearborn street. Dallas, Tex.-Globe News Depot. .200 Main t..,i. -nv , cir CoVEast Houston street. Denver Julius Black. Hamilton c jvcou- i nofi-012 Seventeenth street: Harry D, Ott, 15C3 Broadway; Pratt Book Store. 1214 Fifteenth street. Colorado Springs, Colo-Howard H. Bell. Des Moines. lav-Moses Jacobs. 303 Fifth ftreet. Duluth, Minn. G. Blackburn. 215 "West Su perior street. Goldfleld, Ner. C. Malone. Kansas City, Mo. Rlckseckcr Cigar Co., Ninth and "Walnut. Los Angeles Harry Drap'-tin; B. E. Amos, 614 West Seventh streot. Minneapolis M. J. Kavanaugh. 50 South Third. L. RegeUburger, 217 First avenue South. Cleveland, O-James Pushaw. 30. Superior etreet. New York City L. Jones & Co., Ator House. Oakland, Cal.-W. 1L Johnston. Fourteenth nnd Franklin street. Ocden F. R. Godard and Meyers & Har- top, D L. Boyle. Omaha BarI;alow Bros.. 1012 Farnam: Maceath Stationery Co.. 130S Farnam; Mc Laughlin Bros.. 240 South 14th; McLaughlin & Holts. 1515 Farnam. Sacramento. Cal. Sacramento News Co.. 429 K street. fiaH Lake Salt Lake News Co.. 77 "West Second street South: Frank Hutchison. Yellowfclone Park. IVyo. Canyon Hotel, Lake Hotel. Yellowstone Park Assn. Long Beach B. E. Amos. San Francisco J. K. Cooper & Co., 746 Market utreet; Goldsmith Bros., 230" Sutter; L. E. Lee.'Palace Hotel New Stand: F. "W. Pitts, 1008 Market; Frank Scott. SO Ellis; N. "v heatley Movable News Stand, corner Mar ket and Kearney streets; Hotel St. Francis News Stand; Foster 6z Orcar, Ferry News Stand St. LouU. Mo. E. T. Jctt Book & News Company, S00 Olive street. Washington, I). C P. D. Morrison. 2132 Pennsylvania avenue. PORTLAND. WEDNESDAY, JULY 12, 1005. MR. BONAPARTE'S SERMON. Mr. Charles J. Bonaparte. Secretary of the Navy, seems disposed, like Mr. Taft to follow the President's "edifying example and deliver himself of a homily now and then. Should the movings of the spirit in his soul eventuate habit- ua'ly in outpourings of such ethical eplendor as his address at the Christian Endeavor Convention in Baltimore, he may ultimately rival his great exem plar as an exhorter. It would be vain to speculate upon the moral beauty of an evangelistic trio composed of Mr. Roosevelt. Mr. Taft and Mr. Bonaparte touring the country In a gospel car like the one dedicated to the spread of sal vatlon by Mr. Rockefeller: and it would be equally vain to .try to compute the multitude of the souls they would gar ner into the fold of political righteous ness. "See It. Betsey, you never will; bo don't ask to." Such team work may he seen In visions, like Coleridge's Abyssinian maid with her entrancing dulcimer; but not otherwise. Their exhortations are fervent and soul-stlrrlng. Do they themselves heed them? Do they "reck their own rede," or content themselves with showing others the "steep and thorns' way" to the polftical heaven? Some natural Tiackslldlngs there are to pardon even in such a vessel of mercy as Mr. Roose velt himself. His logic In his valiant letter vindicating Paul Morton greatly resembled Mrs. Gamp's bandboxes, which had impregnable tops, but no bottoms. His conduct of the difficulty between Mr. Loomls and Mr. Bowen suggested that to his eye some of the protean aspects of graft are lass ab horrent than others. But what of that? The President cannot send all his friends to jail. Somebody had to see Paul Jones safe over the Atlantic some native American. If the President found it difficult to hit that mark and miss a grafter, is it his fault? Upon the whole. President Roosevelt nobly exemplifies the new type of public man which he so persistently praises and which he loses no opportunity to bring to the front. Mr. Bonaparte Is one of the most admirable specimens of that type, a man of ability, courage and dauntless Integrity. Long may'he preach! But it may not be impious to hope that the next time he holds forth to a congregation of consecrated youth he will choose his words with a little more pains. Neither Mr. Bonaparte nor any other thoughtful American wishes any mixture -whatever of reUg- ion and politics fn this country, though his remarks to the Endeavorers seem to Imply that he does. This is because Mr. Bonaparte says "religion" when he means "morality." Religion is a mat ter of abstract theological dogmas, of forms and symbols, of ritual and ob- Hervance; morality is a matter of con duct John Bunyan, like all theologl ans. exalts religion and sends "mere morality" to perdition; but most of our Platts. Rockefellers and Penroses have plenty of religion; It is morality they lack, or, as Mr. Bonaparte himself puts it. common honesty. By mixing relig ion with our politics, says Mr. Bona parte, we shall produce that desirable chemical compound, civic honesty; and his receipt for making the mixture is simple. Simple in more than one sense "Civil service reform": this is the magic formula for healing our political ills "Put good men in office," expresses the eahie direction in other words. And L--v.gain. "Between the good and bad men in politics there is. or should be. a war fare without truce or quarter." Of course. All this Is very Well; but ho,w about the men taking no open hand in party politics who use both the good and the bad to accomplish their nefarious purposes? How about the men. more indifferent to party names than any civil service reformer, who buy up the venal and delude the honest office-holder, and nullify all attempts at reform, by the Insidious power of money? Political grafters are bad; men who set party above principle are 'bed; but worst of all and most dangerous of all are these men high In business, soci ety, religion and education, who are using the grafter, the heeler and some times even the reformer, as tools- to un dermine American Institutions. Of these men Mr. Bonaparte does not speak, perhaps because he thinks enough has been heard about them lately; but a political lesson to the young which does not go to the root of evil is only too likely to be a lesson In evasion and subterfuge; and Mr. Bona parte's sermon is very far from going to the root He has been an advocate of crvil service reform for so long that, possibly, he has acquired a savor of the doctrinaire; the broader political life upon which he has now entered will teach him that the imminent danger to American institutions has shifted since he began his warfare many years ago. That danger lies, not so much In the office-holder who dishonestly takes, as in the magnate of whatever name who dishonestly gives, and whom no civil service reform can touch. Public opin ion cannot reach him either, for, secure In his armor of gold, he defies it; but public opinion transformed Into law can reach him; and such addresses as Mn Bonaparte's, with their eloquence moral vigor applied to the vital problems of our day instead of a decade uav. iubuic ucuiusc uitj tiMic wholesome public opinion, direct it, and urge It to become effective In timely legislation. SPFT AND LOW. The Oreconlan does not say that no more United States Senators will be convicted. But it Is confident that none will be convicted on offenses commit ted after this date. Notice has heen served: and there will be higher con ception of duty among Senators and among Representatives, too. For in these proceedings "graft" has received a blow from which It will not soon recover from which It never will wholly recover; for here is fixed a start ing-polnt for new conditions, for higher conceptions .of duty, for new and bet ter morality. Here, indeed, graft may say Here la my Journey' nd. here Is my butt. And very seamark of my utmost will. " In other words, those practices that are enumerated or summed up in the word "graft" will halt, will stop, at least will be cautious and wary' hereafter. If they range abroad at all. they will take back streets and dark alleys; they will whisper soft and low; they will shun the corridors and com mittee-rooms of the Capitol and of the departments at Washington INADEQUATE STEAMSHIP FACILITIES. The report of Special Commissioner Bristow. who has been investigating trade conditions and other matters re lating to the Panama .Railroad, makes a very complete expose of the Schwerln policy of throttling "commerce. To quote from the report: After carefully conrlderlnr tho statements made by the commercial bodies of" the Pacific Coast, the statement of Mr. Schwerln and other data. It clearly appears that the Paci fic Mall Steamship Company has made little effort to develop business between the Paci fic and Atlantic porta of the United State In his. report Mr. Bristow embodies the findings made by the Congressional committee which investigated the Pan- ama Railroad In 1893, and as a result of such investigation discovered that the transcontinental railway pool paid the Panama Railroad $75,000 per month for the ptiivlege of fixing rates by the Isthmus route. There -is practically nothing in the report of Mr. Bristow that was not already known by the commercial world; but the value of the report lies in Its being an official con demnation of one of the worst monop olies that ever blighted the Pacific Coast. The Schwerln policy, whether It is being enforced on the Panama route, on the Oriental route or on the Portland and San Francisco route, 1 the same at all times. The late Will lam H. Vanderbllt. in a moment of 111 guarded rage, once uttered those fa mous words "the public be damned.' Mr. Schwerln is not on record as audi bly expressing such sentiments, but they live and breathe in every Schwerln action affecting the commercial wel fare of the people on this coast, and they would be no less noticeable If they adorned a pennant flung to the breeze from the masthead of every ship bear ing the Harrlman house flag. "The shipments via Panama were carelessly handled, resulting in heavy lass by damage and theft," and, "owing to lack of facilities, there was a con gestlon of freight on the Isthmus," say: Mr. Bristow In his report. All of which tended to discourage shipments by that route and throw the business to the trancontinental roads. This was the Schwerln policy, as applied to Pan ama business. In the Oriental traffic out of Portland there was a striking similarity. J-or months every year Portland suffered a "congestion of freight" All of the efforts of Mr. Schwerln have been devoted to divert ing the traffic from this port to San Francisco, where Mr. Harriman severa years ago announced that theyone big port of the Pacific Coast -would be es tablished. But even with the enormous pull of the railroad connections, Mr. Schwerln was unable to divert the local business to San Francisco, and instead it drifted over to Puget Sound, and Is now hopelessly lost to the Schwerln steamers. Mr. Schwerln has lost his hold on the Panama business because he failed to give a good service and operate his steamers on straight, business-like principles. He has lost his Oriental trade out of the northern ports for the same reason, and now the Coast traffic between Portland and San Francisco is slipping away from him so rapidly that even this route, for more than a quar ter of a century under absolute control of the Schwerln interests and their predecessors. Is being split up among half a dozen less powerful but more energetic rivals. If Mr. Schwerln and his employers of the Harrlman system were the only sufferers by this policy of restriction, congestion, discrimination and general bedevilment, the public couid view the matter with equanimity. Unfortunately, Portland and the entire tributary country suffer by such a narrow-minded policy. Mr. Schwerln knew, or he should have known, that the two small steamers which he was operating on the Portland-San Fran cisco route would be totally Inadequate for the travel that was coming west this Summer. But, regardless of the wishes or rights of thousands of people through the Middle West who had purchased tick- ets entitling them to first-class passage oy steamer between San Francisco and Portland, no provision was made for handlinxr them. Business br the Pan- t ama route was rejected or neglected In order to drive it to the railroads. Busi ness on the Portland and San. Fran cisco route Is neglected or rejected in order to force the travel-to the railroad. Hundreds of people, and later In the season thousands of people, will be forced to abandon the ocean trip or pay another fare to the outside steamers In order to enjoy the ocean trip. The shortsighted Schwerln policy consoles Its sponsors with the reflection that they got the money; but there Is a here after. No matter how well pleased a traveler may be with -Portland, or now anx ious he may be to carry away a good Impression, if he Is Held up for an extra fare, or forced to wait from five to twenty days to secure a berth, his en thusiasm will be cooled and the com- ' pany responsible for his predicament ill suffer by reason of a line of ad- ertislng that Is neither pleasant nor profitable. EUGENICS." Under the topic "Eugenics," the name of which veils some radical ideas upon race Improvement" a. physician of this city recently presented to the con-J ldcration of members of the Oregon Homeopathic Medical Society some plain, practical views upon a matter that is of vital interest to mankind. This physician is a woman of culture. of observation and of experience in her profession: a humanitarian, withal, who would abate human wretchedness and minimize human suffering by dealing with causes that He at the root of race degeneracy and invite race suicide. The topic was presented under the title "No Danger of Race Suicide." Under this general head, properly sub divided, grave facts were submitted to a candid world, and from these facts deductions were made which, while conceded to be correct In theory, can not yet be applied to science. It was stated, for example, that for the proper perpctuallon of the human race It Is necessary to do away with criminals, degenerates and the Insane to eliminate them utterly from the problem of human life. For this pur pose chloroform Is deemed the sufficient and merciful agent The next factor to be eliminated from this problem of human existence is the physically unfit. To this end every one contemplating marriage, male or female, should be re quired to appear before a state medical examination board, and only those who pass muster should be allowed to enter marriage without being first scientific ally treated, with a view of rendering the race immune from disaster by the perpetuation of their physical weakness ; and their maladies. In the discussion that followed this bold presentment it was decided that it is not possible to push this question to a legal Issue at present, as the world is not ready to accept it As stated by the president of the society, "it Is sim ply a question of moral education." and as such must bide its time. Here the subject rests, though not as solidly in trenched in Ignorance or apathy as be fore, since every assault upon these battlements leaves them weaker and more vulnerable. It will not do to talk about these things very much, or to speak too loud ly when the spirit of enlightenment and of humanity moves irrepresslbly to ut terance. The reason is simple. Th world Is not ready for It The subject is an old one. its present ment is not new. With whispering tongues and bated breath It has been discussed for years. Echoes front the council chambers of the medical profes sion have now and again been detected in voicing it. but prudence has stood at the door with a finger upon her Hps warning- to silence. Superstition. grounded in a false reverence for life which Is not life, but a wretched mock ery", of It. has uttered anathemas upon those who would put the limit of fitness upon the propagation of the race. May the physician who. with the courage of honest conviction, declares that there will come a time when the theories above briefly outlined will "be accept ed as the only safeguard of race im provement." prove a true prophet, since clearly It Is only by . purifying the source that the stream can be purged and kept clean. THE PASSINtJ OF THE SWORD. The "arbitrament of the sword" is a phrase hereafter to be used as a figure of speech, merely. Indeed, it has long signified little in fact. The sword was an instrument of hand-to-hand conflict in the time when battles were lost or won at close range. "Horatlus at the Bridge," as exploited In the stirring lines of Macaulay, had vital need of the sword; so through the centuries wherein the warrior was the accepted type on noble manhood and made his title clear to greatness by valiant wielding of this weapon. In the days when fighting was a vo cation, followed by every able-bodied man of the savage tribe or seml-clvil ized nation, the sword was indispensa ble. So, also, was the helmet and the shield, and In fiercer conflicts the coat of mall. One by one these devices of primitive warfare have dropped away from con fllct. leaving the sword the only emblem of hand-to-hand encounter. And at last the sword has been discarded as a weapon and has become an ornament for the thigh of the officer on parade. A revolver carried In a woven service belt at the waist takes the place of the ancient weapon and its scabbard in the navy. The -explanation Is simple. The utlll tarian spirit hereafter Is to rule In naval as it has long ruled In military equipment, and the sword, except upon dress occasions, will not be -worn by officers on shipboard. It is unhandy under modern conditions that prevail on vessels or In boats detailed for active service, and serves no useful purpose on any occasion, other than one of cere mony. Though an emblem of the days when might ruled the world and barbarism was Its prime minister, the traditions of the sword have been closely woven into military sentiment of the world An utterly useless implement of war fare in an age of repeating rifles and long-range guns. It still holds a place In song and story. But that, hereaftor, will be all. From a weapon of warfare. an implement of slaughter and an em blem of prowess. It has come lo be a oauoie. an ornament, a tradition of war. Who shall say that Its last estate is not better than its first? Mr. Scott, the cowboy Croesus from Death Valley. Cal., who seems to have taken up the mantle of the late Coaloll Johnny, arrived in Chicago well ahead of the scheduled time, for which he paid the Santa. Fe road a handsome pre mlum. The effete East will undoubt edly regard this" new method" of proving the truth of the adage that "a fool and his money are soon parted" as highly vulgar. At the same time there are worse uses to which Mr. Scott might have pat hlF money. Not to mention the high card or the roulette wheel. there Is the monkey dinner and similar asinine diversions which a good. red- blooded Western cowboy could never stand for. no matter how crazy he was In his desire to get rid of his money "In a spectacular manner. Norway has offered the position of King to Prince Charles of Denmark, but the Dane, like his melancholy country man. of whom we have all heard. Is debating on whether No be or not to b" a Trine MMimvhlle thi reform i,ders of Russia are reported to be looking- over the field with a view of se lecting a successor for Nicholas, who has long been afflicted with what in this country Is not infrequently termed "cold feet." Alfonso of Spain only re cently got clear of a mob with a whole skin, and Peter of Servia Is dally ex pecting to get what quite a few of his constituents think Is due him. All of which shows that there are a great many dents In the armor of royalty and that there are easier jobs nan being a King. More than 52000 per day was collected for duties at the Portland Custom- House during the month of June, the total for the thirty days being S62.467.S6. This was more than was collected at any other port in the Pacific Northwest,. the combined receipts of Tacoma, Se- attle. Port Townsend and ten other ports in the Puget Sound district amounting to but $7S,711.S7. In other words. Portland handled more than 44 per cent of all of the business on which duty was paid in the Pacific Northwest during the month of June. This city 'handles less "In transit" merchandise than some of the other North Pacific ports, but as a distributive point for Imports It Is far In the lead of any other port north of San Francisco. The Government is preparing to make a test of that old sttv which asserts that "one man Is as 'good as another." For the purpose of discovering the dif ference. If any exists, the Panama Ca nal Commission will import 2000 Ital ians and the same number of Chinese and Japanese under 500-day contracts. The Grand Trunk Pacific Railroad. which has arranged for the building of a line to the Pacific Coast, is endeavor- Jng to secure Japanese for construction work on the road, the exclusion laws of Canada preventing the Importation of Chinese. As most of the laborers on the Panama Canal succumb to the deadly fevers of the Isthmus, there will hardly be & protest from the unions. The highly civilized individuals who view with horror the use of the whip ping-post as a punishment for the hu man beasts who beat their wives might change their views on witnessing the beating which Epstein, the tailor. administered to his wife on the street Monday evening. If such performances are any less barbarous than the whip ping administered to the offenders by one of their own sex. there would be cause for objection. As it Is, no pun ishment short of that used by the Span ish Inquisition is adequate to fit the crime which' was committed by this Ep stein on -a public street In full view of hundreds of people. An Industrial edition of the Spring field (Mass.) Union has been received. and Its sixty-eight pages are well filled with a mass of vauable Information re lating to Western Massachusetts, par ticularly Springfield and Ilolyoke. The Union has steadfastly stood for Repub lican principles through sunshine and storm, under the leadership of the late Joseph L. Shipley, and latterly A. P. Imngtry- The present industrial edi tion is an improvement on previous issues. The years come and go. but the taste of delicious Connecticut River yhad cooked by Springfield housewives will be an evergreen memory. Germnny is 'said to have emerged from the Morocco diplomatic imbroglio with flying colors, the agreement ar rived at by the interested powers being generally recognised as a diplomatic triumph for Emperor William and his chief counsel. Von Buelow. As the prestige of William has in the past been largely due to what the vulgar Amer icans term "bluffing." this latest tri umph in a new role becomes all the more noteworthy. It doesn't argue because a man can work up a million clrcuatlon for a cheap monthly that he can successfully conduct a bank. Mr. Lewis, promoter. of St. Louis, has learned that running a bank "along new lines" Is bad busi ness. Experience has proved that every note should have a good name or two at the bottom, or collateral that can be turned into coin. The San Jose visitors arc to see Se attle. Tacomn. Spokane and other points. Th"e -Lewis and Clark Fair brought them here, but It cannot and should not hold them here. Portland Is anxious that all visitors see and know all parts of the great Northwest, and most of them are doing It. That Is what the Exposition is for. Taking yesterday's record as a new basis, the quickest that a man with money to burn coukl trawl by rail from the Atlantic to the Pacific is sixty- two hours and fifty-four minutes. which bents the famed Jarrett & Palmer train so badly that comparisons are odious. With an eighteen-hour schedule be tween Chicago and New York, and a forty-five-hour schedule "between Los Angeles and Chicago, perhaps -we may- hope some day- for somewhat less than a thlrty-slx-hour schedule from Port land to San Francisco. As Corporation Counsel for the Clty of Chicago, James Hamilton Lewis will have fine opportunity for keeping him self well advertised. He Is one of the very few American statesmen who served successfully . as his own press agent. Now that night admission to the Fair has been cut In two. and friction be tween management and concessionaires removed, the voice of complaint from Guild's Lake Is not likely- to be heard again this season. The Seattle newspapers say that fifty physicians of that city will attend the American Medical Congress. They may be assured of a warm -welcome, though "their money ain't no good." 0REG0N OZONE The Lewis and Clark Methodist Con- gre3s is in session nere tnis weeic Don't fall to read the poultry market reports while the Methodist Congress men are in Portland. Mr. Mt Hood Where are you going i my pretty maid? Miss St. Helens Nowhere at all: I'm going to stay right here and watch Tacoma grow. Until all the returns are In, it is not quito proper to say that the Fourth of July has shown signs of Improve ment, along with methods of municipal government and the administration of the land offices. During the past two weeks three or four millionaires have committed sui cide because of despondency. Pity the poor millionaire. He has a heavy load to carry. The tortoise that was found recent ly, nine mile3 from Gettysburg, with the name of a soldier and the date of the battle cut in his shell. Is a standing rebuke to tho strenuous life. If it took him 42 years to ko nine miles, how long will It take Lieutenant Peary to go to the North Pole? It is set forth that the late Emerson Bennett "was so unfortunate as to have outlived his fame as an author." Some authors are still more unfortu nate thoy die before their fame Is born. Hiram Hnyficld's Views. Grass -Valley,' Or., July 11, 1905. Dore Eddytur: When I red inn the Grass Valley Gazoot thet my ole trend and feller optymust. Chansy M. Dcpew, wuz beein onklndly kritislzed, I wuz maJ awl over att - the outraige. It's a plumb shaim thet the wurruld wunt lett a mann smile and smile and bee an optymust still, without astin him. "Whur didd yew git Itt att?" or a- shoutln frum the housctopps. "Didd yew urn itt. or Jess Inndorse the check?" Az the poit Burns sez. mann's Inhumanity too mann malks kottntless thousans morc'n the mann kneads for human natcher's 'duly food. Know matter Iff Chansy didd Jraw 20.000 dollers a yere frum the Ekklt abel Life fur 25 yercs. fur leegle sur vusses. without dooln no survuss. Hee ondoubtedly- wuz willin to surve enny day Inn the weak, iff cawled uppon by- Mister Hyde or Doktcr Jekyll or enny uther orficer Inn the kumpany. Lett us rlcollect thet the grate poit Milton, hoo sung long bee4 Waukccn Miller ewer nurved hlssclf fur poettic flltes by kuttin kord wood down att UJean. sez thet thay awlso surve hoo unly stand and weight fur the wurruld too pay tnum a nvin, wnutner may urn Itt or nott. Fur my part, Ime moughty glad thet thiss noos hcz leaked out. I awlways JlJd wunder how Inn Sam Hill my friend Chansy cud manalge too bee sew optymystlck. Fur nigh onto 40 years hee hoz ben the ark lite att affter dinner tawkln affarc?, while awl the uthcrs wuz unly wun kandel power. Thet wuz bekaws tnay wuz unly drawin thayre rogler sallery eyrySat- tldy nlte. with ho onurned Inkermunt -kummln Inn the necks Monday a. m. Hoo cuddent eat. drink and beo Mary when hee nose thet tomorrer a. xn. hee kin jess talk hlz little finger nalc slzzers frum hiz vest pocklt and kllpp the end orf an ennvylope and pull out a cheek fur hlz weak's sallery fur dooln nuthin. and no string tied too Itt? Hoo, I ast? Ime Inn favur of havin awl yumor- Ists porvided with an onurned Inker munt. sew az too give thum a chanst too compeat with Chansy Depcw Inn the open markitt. I bett 2 bltts Mis ter Depew iz named Chansy jess be kaws hee huz lied a chanst too bee funny without trcsspassln on hlz prlvut fcllin.s. Most of us pcrfeshunal optymusts jess optyfy bekaws wee must. Lett the Yumurists-' Unyun talk thiss matter upp and demand thayre innborn rites. .L.eii tnum say too tne publlck. "Laft and the wurruld luffs with yew. butt yew dont laff with us nnir. -rv-AA irlt a fW thou mr unr the hed of leegle survusscs." I arise ton stall thet the blzniss of a pcrfeshunal optymust iz Jess az leegle az thet of a U. S. Scnnyter. and sumtimcs a durn site leegeler. bgosh. Thlss z nott too say thet Chansy j Depew haint gott no rite too hlz oner- aryum. Fur frum Itt! Inn the wurds of sumboddy hoos nalm I ferglt att the pressunt ritln, I love nott Chansy less. butt mtinny mower. Yores fur our Innilyenabel rites. Hiram Hayfleld. P. S. Whon yew knead leegle sur- vusaes. don't forglt HI Hayfleld. E. "S. Q., Dokter of Laws. Hoss Dokter and Awl Round Sollssltur. Turms, strlctly Inn advants. H. H. ROBBRTUS LOVE. Wasn't Engaged; But New York Press. Smith College girls are gloating glee fully over the fact that they have a frcshwoman among them whose happy- repartee has nonplussed even tho moat august professors. Two things must not be done at this institution of learning. One Is to sit up after 10 P. M., and the other to to go driving with any man ex cept one's fiancee. On one of the beau tiful sunny day? of last week the fresh- woman In question, wearied of books, braved tho professors in charge of her dormitory anu Deggeti permission to go driving with a young man wno was a frequent caller upon her. Questioned wnetner sne was engageu io mm, tne maiden raised her limpid eyes to those .". ..x- w V , , , wered demurely: "No. but If you will let me go 1 promise J. will De Detore i get The Miraculous Science. Everybody's. What cannot surgery do? A Phlladcl phlan broke his back. Such a mortal hurt Is not necessarily mortal now. A surgeon cut away the Injured part of the spinal cord, and sewed the ends together. At this 'writing, tho physicians say that this patient has a good chance of recovery. In Philadelphia, too, a rare operation was performed on a MIchlgander who had been paralyzed for two years from a bul let in his spine. He heard that a Phila delphia woman had been cured by this operation, and he Insisted on having it tried on him. The bullet was removed from tho spine. Three shattered verte brae were spliced with silver wire's. The paralysis decreased gradually. A com plete recovery is expected. Virtue Spasm or Ball Gnme? v Omaha Bee. A circus has come and jrone without any unusual commotion at the City Hair over the distribution of free tickets. Put n mark onth walL COMMENT ON THE MITCHELL CASE Extracts From Eastern Newspaper, Sho-n-iHs; the Widespread Interest la ' the Event and General Acceptance of the Verdict. Picked the Wrong Company. St. Joseph (Mo.) Gazette. Perhaps Senator Mitchell simply got mixed up with the wrong set of fel lows. Verdict Warranted. Buffalo (N. Y.) Times. The evidence was. very strong against the accused man and the verdict of the Jury was warranted. Jury System Is Responsible. Des Moines (la.) Capital. Doubtless Senator Mitchell, also, is of the opinion that our Jury system is considerable of a farce. Iiong- Without a Conviction. Charleston (S. C.) News and Courier. John H. Mitchell, of Oregon, succeeded In serving twenty-two years in the United! State? Senate without suffering a convic tion by the courts. Speeches vs. Evidence. Pittsburg- Dispatch. Senator Mitchell also has doubts about the jury system. It does not seem to think vindication by a speech on the floor of the Senate as important as the evidence. Should Have Known Better. Lansing (Mich. Republican. Although Senator Mitchell's age Is urged as a reason why clemency should be shown him. It Is being little advanced as a reason why he should have known better. Nothing: Deplorable About It. Kansas City Journal. "It is deplorable." says an exchange. "to see an aged and long-honored statesman like Senator Mitchell con victed of corruption." Not at all. it is deplorable that he should be guilty of corruption, but conviction of corrupt statesmen should never be deplored. The Scales or Justice. Hartford (Conn.) Times. The unlmpassioncd word. "Guilty," which the jury uttered this week in tho case of John Hippie Mitchell, of Oregon, outweighs in the scales of justice the long and emotional speech which the Senator delivered after his Indictment for grafting and in which he unqualifiedly protested his innocence. Acts Notoriously. Engaged In. Louisville (Ky.) Courier-Journal. If the penalty of the law could be promptly inflicted in these cases there would be some prospect of putting an end to such illegal and disreputable acts as are notoriously engaged In by members of both Houses of Congress Accomplice of Public Plunderers. Boston Post. It was a peculiarly atrocious offense since It not only Involved a breach of the plain provision of law forbidding a mem M of Congress to act in the capacity- of paia HLiuniL-y aviure tuiy ui mi: uuiuinis tratlve departments, but it made Mitchell the accomplice of a band of public plun derers. Gigantic Scheme to Defraud." Baltimore Sun. Within the last few years at least half a dozen Senators have had to face charges which reflected upon their personal integ rity. All of them were fortunate enough to escape, however, except Messrs. Mitch ell and Burton. The "land frauds" In volve a conspiracy to obtain millions of acres of Government lands In the West. 1 Forged applications were filed by the thousand. Land held by worthless titles was exchanged with the Government for valuable tracts with perfeect titles. It was, indeed, a gigantic scheme to de fraud the Government and all con cerned In It should be punished to the full extent of the law. Ready to Sacrifice nis Friends. New York Sun. Mitchell had not the courage of his lack of conviction. He appears to have been ready to sacrifice the friends who risked everything in trying to save him from the consequences of his acts. The result was that the most dama trine- testimony produced against him was given by those I who had been associated with him for years. The recommendation for mercy made by the jury was natural. The guilty person mtu iuuk ueeu .t cunspicuous ngure In the state. But It is likely that If the convict gets off with a light sentence it will be rather because of his advanced age than because the court thinks that high office should be regarded as a pro tection to the corrupt Shining Light Tut Out. Baltimore American. It is indeed lamentable that a man like Senator Mitchell, of Oregon, whose blog- ranhv in the Concessional Directory gives evldonce of so many honors be stowed by his constituency, should have been found guilty and convicted of gross frauds in connection with grabbing of the public lands. Mitchell's operations. even if all that Is charged be true, are poor and petty In comparison with thos;. of others, but in hlra the Government has had a somewhat shining light, and It Is possible that his conviction may lead to more vigorous and successful prosecu tion of larger sinners. If degrees of moral culpability be admissible.- If he be finally- held as convicted. It Is to be hoped that he will receive the severest sentence under the law. Never Much Doubt as to Guilt. Springfield (Mass.) Union. The most encouraging thing in the cam paign against graft, boodle and corrup tion which is being waged In cities. In statM and In the Government Itself. Is the nvictlon of John II. Mitchell. United states Senator from Oregon. In connection ith the land fmUds. There has never been much doubt ln the put)Hc mind as to mMtrn tnitu. His furvpnt protegtation of Innocence before the Sen- ate. a protestation punctuated wun tears. p . . sympathy for him. - n M,hMt,on nf hla nleasP-hurn- I . . 1 nnlllRl Vila nlno that he stood as one falsely accused and nersecuted. He assured the Senate that he only wanted a fair chance to clear his name. He has had the chance.. He has been accorded every opportunity. He has been assisted by clever lawyers, who re sorted to every technicality. But the Jury has found him guilty of the offense charged, namely, that he had received monev to expedite the action of the Interior Department in Issuing land pat ents. Calls Upon Mitchell to Resign. Milwaukee Sentinel. Senatorial scandals, rare as they are. tend to impair the credit and trad! tlonal standing of the Senate in the public mind, and" the Senators themselves have shown that they fully realize that fact, Their resentment of Burton's coiiduct was prompt and emphatic, and the conviction of Mitchell should, of course, deprive him of any further Indulgence In the way of suspension of judgment by his colleagues fiBy bringing scandal on the Senate he has I committed a sort of treason against it l He has brought discredit on American In stltutlons. or at least put a weapon In the hands of detractors of those Institutions and of revolutionary agitators generally. But it still remains in his power to maKe come atonement to his former associates and render a public service. He should rerign his office at once. By so doing ne may strengthen the plea for leniency of the Jury that convicted him. and also forestall his expulsion from the fcenate. Menace to Popular Government. Louisville (Ky.) Times. Senator Mitchell is now an old man. Het has long held public office and has com manded the trust of the people or nis state and the confidence of the Govern ment that had the right to look to him for disinterested service. The wrong that he has committed is evidence of a spirit that constitutes one of the grave menaces to the continued virility of popular gov ernment and Its author, so far from being entitled to mercy. Is deserving of the. lull punishment that the law provides. Deliberately Sold Himself. Des Moines (la.) Capital. Senator Mitchell. In the plight in- a which he finds himself, presents spectacle which challenges both pity and contempt. The former sentiment Is stirred that one so highly honored and who might have been a lasting- credit to his commonwealth, should deliberately sell himself. The latter. that a man of his ability should pre sume that he could traffic in the trust committed to his care and never be brought to account for his misdeeds. His Appeal of No Avail. Baltimore News. A few months ago John H. Mitchell stood in the Senate chamber at Wash ington and with tears streaming down his face proclaimed his Innocence of the charges of "grafting" made against him. Now he has been convicted of turning his Influence as Senator to private advantage. So conscious of his guilt was this estima ble gentleman that he adopted the clumsy method of defense of tinkering with his books. And yet with the knowledgo of this, he could make a tearful appeal. Senator Mitchells' real name Is John Hippie. He discarded that name years ago because of a matrimonial experience discreditable to him. He confessed his fault, with an appearance of manliness, and the people of Oregon forgave him. It was a fine thing for them to do. But, wfth that experience to warn him. he betrayed their confidence In him. The recommen dation of mercy of the Jury, therefore, seems to have been uncalled for. Mitchell now takes his place beside Burton of Kansas. It is to be hoped that a prison sentence will be his portion. That, as a result of his conviction, would be more discouraging to grafters than almost any thing else. Heaping the Whirlwind. Detroit (Mich.) Journal. A jury selected from the people among whom he had lived for 45 years, and who In the face of other serious charges had repeatedly bestowed upon him the highest preferment within their gift has found John H. Mitchell, of Oregon, guilty of thel crime of hiving sold for a financial con sideration his influence as a United States Senator with departmental oinclals af Washington. If this was Senator Mitchell's first andl only misstep and it could be argued that failing fortune had left him with impaired resources for maintaining his social posi tion some sympathy might be felt for him. But he .long ago showed himself to be morally' a bankrupt. The role of the whlted Sepulcher Is a familiar one to Mr; Mitchell. His long-continued Buccess and the rich harvest of honors he has been enabled to rea seemed to set at defiance some of those standards of conduct which are Insisted on as essential In the strug gle for distinction, but retribution with the limping foot has at last overtaken John H. Mitchell, bigamist, hypocrite. general deceiver and purchasable official. It Is to be hoped that the judicial end of the court will do Its duty as conscientious ly as the jury end of the court, and that the maximum penalty will be Inflicted. John H. Mitchell in convict stripes will be a. wholesome object lesson to the youth among whom are numbered the United States Senators of 1915 and 1920 and 1930. Well Earned His Fate. Springfield (Mass.) Republican. The downfall of United States Sen ator John H. Mitchell, of Oregon, who has been convicted of taking money for serving the land thieves before the Interior department in Washington, is now complete. He ha3 well earned the fate which now overwhelms him. Al ways of coarse fiber, he has never won the full confidence of the most acute and honest men of his state, of which he has been at several periods one ot the Senators in Washington. His elec tions to that office were always stormy and marked by a low tone of political striving. He must now retire to pri vate lire, oeren oi an mat nunurduio public men hold dear. From this point of view he presents a meiancnoiy spectacle, without being entitled to a particle of popular sympathy. This outcome is a good thing for the state of Oregon, and saves her -from sharing in the shame which the trials at Port land have revealed. The Jury in the Federal Court has piaced the seal or condemnation upon graft In the United States Senate. By contrast that tear ful speech of -unQuallfled denial which the Senator mado before leaving for home to meet his fate, is worth recal ling. It was a speech which at the last moment he did not care to make; but those Involved with him In the land frauds demanded .that he make It, In the hODe that It would favorably affect public sentiment In the' place where the first of the land fraud trials were to be pushed. Secretary Hltch cockt In the kindness of his heart. strongly advised rnenas ot jiitcnen not to let the Senator commit himself In so fatal a way, but the pressure from home was stronger than the fears at Washington. Mitchell's farewell speech Is on the records, and It stands out In vivid contrast to the proceed ings of the court in Oregon. Special District Attorney Francis J. Heney. of San Francisco, has made his case good, as he and Secretary Hitch cock promised would be the fact Mr. Heney's closing speech to the Jury was a graphic and powerful effort He an alyzed with relentless march the testf mony which had been marshalled against the unfaithful Senator. Mitch ell had been well defended by Judge Bennett and ex-United States Senator Thurston, but It could not avail before the evidence. Jiu JItsu vs. Hockey. Cy. Warman. If you want to rear a nation To be flt for futurn scraps Cut away this imagination That you're taking from the 'Japs. Tou can never win your battles "With these monkey springs and squats To the HlRhlands and play hockey wlth'th Scots! "Hoot man! Hoot!" says bis Macdonald. And MacWllllams answers Hoot!" ' As- he smashes Angus Campbell On the apex of his snoot. "While the polished floor Is freckled By a score of crimson spots To the Highlands and play hockey with the Scots! Hear Macpherson's smothered curses As his bosom swells with pride. And the horses on the hearses Paw the atmosphere outside, "With the coroner and the undertaker "Waiting business on the spot Ah, you're strenuous when you hockey with & Scot!