Morning Oregonian. (Portland, Or.) 1861-1937, April 08, 1905, Page 8, Image 8

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    THE MOSSING OBEGOKTAH, SATURDAY, APRIL' 8, 1905. ,
Entered at the Portofflce- at Portland. Or
as second-class matter.
SUBSCRIPTION KATES.
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(Br Malt or Express.)
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Daily and Sunday, per month .S5
Dally without Sunday, per year 7.C0
Dally without Sunday, tlx months 3.90
Daily without Sunday, three month .... 1.05
Dally without Sunday, per month ...... .C5
Sunday, per year - 2.00
Sunday, sir months 1.00
Sunday, three months ................. .60
BT CARRIER.
Dally without Sunday, per week. ...... .15
Dally per week. Sunday Included...-.. -20
THE 'WEEKLY OREGONTAN.
(Issued Every Thursday.)
"Weekly, per year ..................... 1.50
Weekly, six montha .75
Weekly, three months 50
HOW TO REMIT Send poatoffice money
order, express order or personal check on
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EASTERN' "BUSINESS OFFICE.
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Tcrk: Rooms 48-50 Tribune building. Chi
cago: Rooms 510-512 Tribune building.
The Oregonlan does not buy poems or
stories from Individuals and cannot under
take to return any manuscript sent to It
without solicitation. No stamps should be
inclosed for this purpose.
KEPT ON SALE.
Chicago Auditorium Annex: PostofBc
News Co., 178 Dearborn street.
Dallas, Tex Globe News Depot. 260 Main
street.
Dearer -Julius Black, Hamilton & Kend
rick. 806-812 Seventeenth street, and Frue
nuS Bros.. 605 Sixteenth street.
Dea Moines, Xju Hoses Jacobs. 309 Fifth
ctreet.
Goldfleld, Not. C Ualone.
Kansas City. Mo. Rlcksecker Clear ' Co.,
Ninth and "Walnut.
Los Angele Harry Drapkln; B. E. Amos.
61 Wat Seventh street
Kinneapoll M. J. Kavanaugh. 50 South
Third; L. Regelsburger. 217 First avenue
South.
New Tork City L. Jones & Co.. Astor
House.
Oakland. CaL W. H. .Tohnston. Four
teenth and Franklin streets.
Ogden F. R. Godard and Meyers & Har
rop; D. L. Boyle.
Omaha Barkalow Broa. 1612 Farnham:
Mtfeath Stationery Co.. 1S0B Farnham.
McLaughlin Bros.. 248 a 14th.
Phoenix. Arir. The Berryhlll News Co.
Sacramento. CaL Sacramento News Co.,
29 K street.
Salt lake Salt Lake News Co., 77 West
Second street South.
Santa Barbara. CaL S. Smith.
San Dieco, CaL J. DHlard.
San Francisco J. K. Cooper & Co.. 746
Market street; Foster & Crear. Ferry News
Stand; Goldsmith Bros.. 288 Sutter: L. E.
Lee. Palace Hotel News Stand; F. "W. Pitts.
100S Market; Frank Scott. 80 Ellis; N.
Wheatley. 83 Stevenson; Hotel St. Francis
News Stand.
St. Louis. Uo. E. Y. Jett Book & News
Company. 80S Olive street.
Washington, D. C. Ebblt Hons News
Stand.
PORTLAND,
APRIL
1D03.
THE INTRICATE RATE PROBLEM.
It -would indeed bp one of the Ironies
of fate If the newly-created Washing
ton Railroad Commission should prove
the Instrument by which the railroads
will settle the very disturbing rate prob
lem which they are now considering,
The roads have fought against the com
mission project for many years. Re
gardless of the fact that the promoters
and engineers of the scheme were a
band of office-seeking politicians who
could be more easily quieted by permit
ting the commission bill to become a
law than by forever antagonizing it,
the railroads kept up a stubborn light
against it. And now that It has be
come law, it seems reasonably certain
that one of its first acts will be settle
ment of a rate problem which neither
the -shippers nor the railroads can set
tle themselves In a manner satlsfac
tory to all parties involved.
The Spokane rate is the bone of con
tcntlon between the railroads and the
Pacific Coast jobbers. The rate to other
points in the interior is also involved.
but Spokane, by Teason of its promi
nence in the inland distributing field,
Is always mentioned as the storm cen
ter of the disturbance. Spokane, being
without the advantage of ocean trans'
portation, was obliged to pay a higher
rate on Eastern merchandise than was
obtainable by the roads from the tide
water points of the Pacific Coast. Job
bers In these Coast ports, taking the
ocean, rate for a base, have forced the
roads to haul their freight across the
continent at a lower rate than Spokane
without water transportation could se
cure. In order to permit Spokane to
engage in the Jobbing trade, these- rail
roads established a discriminatory rate
for the "back haul" In carload lots.
which .made It impossible for Coast
Jobbers to ship anything to points with
In a radius of 100 miles of Spokane in
less than carload lots.
Spokane did not get these discrimina
tory rates without a hard fight. Now
that she has them, she objects to re
llnquishlng them, and Mr. Stubbs, of
the Harriman system, is quoted as be
ing favorable to their retention. He
says: "I have made promises to Spo
kane, and these I Intend to keep. I will
do nothing and will agree to no changes
which will nullify any of the promises I
have given to that city or any other."
But the Northern roads, regardless of
what their Inclinations may be, must to
a certain extent follow the dictates of
the Washington Railroad Commission
One of the first complaints to come be
fore that commission will be that of the
Puget Sound Jobbers, who will demand
that the roads grant an equitable rate
on less than carload lots. There is
abundance of evidence to prove that
the less-than-carload rate exacted from
the Coast shipper is exorbitant and
out of all proportion to the carload
rate granted the Spokane shippers.
The new law is very explicit in its
provisions against discrimination of this
nature, and gives the Commissioners
full power to correct the abuse. The In
itiative in this reform will accordingly
come from the Puget Sound shippers,
who are being Injured by the discrimi
nation. If the Washington Commission
should revise the Spokane rate on com
plaint of these men, it would naturally
follow that Portland shippers would
trail In on even terms, regardless of the
promises that Mr. Stubbs had made to
Spokane. The situation is a particular
ly interesting and complicated one, and
from present appearances the jobbing
trade of Seattle and Tacoma, which
was arrayedv against a Railroad Com
mission, will now find Its commercial
salvation in such a commission. Spo
kane, on the other hand, which worked
overtime in order to secure the pas
sage of the bill, may lose a large share
of her Jobbing trade through the first
ruling made by the commission.
The latest San Francisco murder is if
anything more cruel and mysterious
than any of its lonjg list of predeces
sors. There were no new features of
gentleness or of Christian forbearance
In the latest throatcuttlng In Portland.
We are continually being told that the
world is growing better. Perhaps it is.
but the wages of sin continue to be paid
in the same old coin, and the brutal
passions and instincts of animal man
still lead to crimes as revolting as any
that darkened the older pages of crimi
nal history. Good breeding and cor
rect home training in early life will be
vastly more beneficial in improving
me moral standard of the world than
all of the late-ln-life moralizing that
can be Indulged in regarding past sins.
CONFERENCES AT THE EXPOSITION.
A great school the 1905 Exposition
will be. Not content with showing
what farmers, and mechanics, and en
gineers, and painters, and sculptors,
have done, are doing, and can do,
thinkers are to be brought into confer
ence. While no field of Interest is to
be untouched, it seems plain, so far.
that social matters are to be, if not the
leading, yet a very prominent sub
ject. After we have listened to Pro
fessor Brooks on' ""Municipal Owner
ship" and to Professor Zueblln on
"Municipal Improvement," it Is to be
hoped that some vague thinking and
much vague talking on these knotty
points will pass for good and all.
Doubtless the former speaker will clear
our minds as to the limits of success
ful and reasonable municipal owner
ship all are agreed on the general
proposition. The latter speaker will
doubtless lay down lines of municipal
improvement, not only seeking to
cleanse the outside of the platter by
getting rid of physical dirt, disorder
and corruption, but laying due empha
sis on - public honesty, the duties of
public service and self-sacrifice, and
the earning Into municipal govern
ment of those principles' of business
like and common sense management on
which the private affairs of so many
of our citizens are conducted. All can
study in this school.
It is surely fitting that Oriental coun
tries, their inhabitants, life, and com
mercial relations with us should be
discussed. Roth for pleasure and profit,
this Is eminently fitting, since develop
ment of Portland will, in but few
years' time, hang on her trans-Pacific
trade.
That Dr. Arthur Brown should he a
principal speaker will give much pleas
ure to friends who remember his per
sonality and influence . in Portland
when pastor of the First Presbyterian
Church.
These are by no means the only
topics for conference. Both literature
and religion in many phases are to
be discussed, while physical science
will not be forgotten. We and our
visitors are to learn as well as to en
joy at the Fair.
ONE TIIASE OF COMMERCIAL ECONO.MT
What is termed "commercial econ
omy" in the manufacture of food prod
ucts has been reduced to a fine art In
this country. That Is to say, no part
of the raw product goes to waste in
the American factory. It has been
openly boasted by the Chicago pork
packer that nothing of the hog escapes
from his processes but the squeal. So,
also, it may be said of the cannery that
nothing of the fruit or vegetables es
capes but the smell. f'
This has a thrifty, though somewhat
a startling cund, the latter more
especially so, when the subject is pur
sued in detail. Reading through the
list of articles manufactured from the
peels, cores and worm-eaten spots-
worms Included of fruits of all kinds,
dumped together and made into a gen
eral pulp, one escapes with a feeling
of thankfulness that, after all, they
are not active, or even slow, poisons,
and are fain to be content with the
reflection.
But even this refuge is denied upon
further investigation, since it is found
that the favorite chemicals and color
ings used to make these food products
attractive to the eye. and the flavor
Ing extracts that make them palatable.
Include aniline, beta-naphthol and
nearlv all coal dvos. wood alcohol.
ethers, citric acid, frlsll oil, sulphate of
copper cojognes, eta, etc.
If one were to pursue this subject
far enough he would find the food man
ufacturer Intrenched in politics even as
is the Beef Trust, able to maintain his
way against all comers. Experts
speak in thls connection of Americans
as "poison hardened," and point to the
fact that through slow degrees our
people have become partly Immune
from the chemicals employed as food
preservatives and adulterations, though
It Is suggested that the fact that nerv
ous prostration, which has become In
a sense a National disease, is probably
attributed as much to the spirit of com
mercial economy that has entered Into
our food products as to the rapid pace
which leaves the American business
man "few hours for pleasure, ndne for
rest."
A BLOCK TO CIVIC IMPROVEMENT.
While much conscientious endeavor
is being made In Portland at the pres
ent time In the Interest of civic Im
provement, it is manifest that there Is
a strong influence working along cer
tain lines against the effort There Is
also reason to assume that, for partic
ular and personal reasons, favor Is
shown in certain cases to merchants
violating the ordinance in regard to
keeping the sidewalks clear and to
builders In the matter of unlawful oc
cupation of the streets for their own
convenience, to the great Inconvenience
of the general public.
Our city ordinances are liberal, as
they should "be. In matters of this kind.
Builders are allowed ample space for
depositing materials that enter Into the
construction of buildings, and are given
sufficient time to clear away the litter
Incident to construction. Beyond these
limits of space and time, they should
not be permitted to encroach. Mer
chants also, especially in the wholesale
district, are properly treated with
leniency in the matter of the use of the
sidewalks in the necessary pursuit of
their business, but this leniency should
not be. and cannot by any proper or
lawful stretch of municipal authority
be, extended so as to allow the side
walks in front of these places, of bus!
ness or the streets adjacent thereto
to be used as storage-room for surplus
stocks of merchandise of any class
whatever. The Common Council ex
ceeds its legitimate powers when it
grants favors of this kind. It is no
ticeable also that the earnest efforts of
the Civic Improvement League for the
removal of the garish and Indecently
placarded billboards that abound In the
city have come to nothing, because of
the sudden and unexpected champion
ship of these unsightly things by the
Common Council. No one is blinded
by the sapient statement in this con
nection that a property-owner can do
what he pleases with his own. Since
when have property-owners become
sole arbiters of the public interests?
Is it not within the province of the
City Council simply to tax this eye
sore out of existence? A pretense so
shallow as this Is an insult to common
Intelligence and justifies the assump
tion of the politically wise that upon
this matter somebody has been "seen."
It is not pleasant to say these things;
it is decidedly unpleasant to hear them
on every corner, and more unpleasant
still to be forced to the conclusion that
the event scheduled to take place the
first Monday In June Is the controlling
factor in these matters.
THE SUFERLATTVE RAILROAD MERGER.
The American people appreciate big
ness; they like things on a large scale.
Their fancy is surely gratified by the
announcement that one huge corpora
tion, with capital in stocks and bonds
aggregating more than a billion dol
lars, is to gather up the New York
Central, the Northwestern and the
Union Pacific and its controlled lines.
Into one tremendous embrace. The
catch word is "Ocean to ocean." This
is misleading. Were this the only
cause for creating this new comet In
the corporation sky, a purpose might
be descried in -arranging through
travel, and the closest connections, in
establishing a central authority on
fares and freights from the Atlantic
to the Pacific, in obtaining unity of
control and of action; but these plans
have a far wider range. The aggre
gate mileage is 30.43L miles, showing
that systems, not lines, arc to be
."merged." A significant item Is that
-kexlstlng stocks of the component parts
are to be converted ,lnto bonds, so the
owners are to be transformed Into
creditors. New York Central stock,
exchanged at 200 Into new 3 per cent
bonds, means that the owner of a nom
inal 5100 in stock gets in perpetuity 7
per cent on that sum by the transac
tion; a holder of $100 In stock in the
Northwestern gets, by the exchange at
300, a continuing 10 per cent on his
?100, by means of the 34 per cent on
the new bonds he is to receive. The
value of the stock In a corpora
tion may, under ctaln possibili
ties looming closer every day, be a
question to be debated on the basis of
actual value of the property. It will
obviously be a much harder proposi
tion to dispute the sum total of bonded
indebtedness. Moreover, once this con
solidation is accomplished, the power
of the huge aggregation, financially
and politically, will be terrific. It will
be an Oyama's army of employes, de
ployed across the whole , continent;
markets for the securities will be open
In every stock exchange In the civilized
world. Control of the aggregated cap
ital' will be in hands like those. If not
the Identical ones who created, man
age, raise or depress the values of the
tokens of ownership In the Steel Cor
poration at their sweet will. Secret
causes will govern; unexpected action
will startle. The public, not In this
Nation alone, will buy or sell as the
wires are pufledr And hidden powers
will reap a profit on every movement
in a hundred markets.
If the managers of this immense
scheme were trying to bring the pos
sibilities of a convnon ownership and
management of all the railroads closer
to the public mind, they could be con
gratulated on the mingled Told:is and
astuteness of their operations.
A NINE-DAYS WONDER.
San Francisco's genius expresses It
self most fully In what may be called
the stage management of the murder
mysteries which periodically engross
the attention of the city's press and In
habitants. Take, for example, the
crime over which San Francisco is now
excited. A mutilated body is found in
the street, and, through blundering on
the part of the police, the man who
had been seen carrying the parcel Is
permitted to escape. Such a find is
horrible enough, but the genius of San
Francisco steps In to give the case the
sensational features that ensure space
on the front page of the newspapers.
Imagine a pack of bloodhounds rac
ing and chasing through the streets,
followed by dozens of sweating detec
tives, and cheered on by a crowd of
30,000 gaping seekers after excitement.
Imagine this pack of savage, man-eating
bloodhounds as an Uncle Tommer
would from force of habit describe
them-snlffing from doorstep to door
step, while the officers of the law
rushed into the houses thus indicated
to cross-examine the surprised In
mates. It is an unparalleled spectacle,
and,, although murder is a grave sub
ject, provokes an astonished smile.
This murder bids fair to give San
Francisco as much food for street-corner
gossip as the still unsolved Nora
Fuller mystery. The murderer of Nora
Fuller, whose body was found In an
unoccupied house, has not been appre
hended. No person has been convicted
of the murder of the Hlslop boy, who
was found dead In his home about the
time of the Fuller crime. The fiendish
Durrant. excited more attention,
through the clrcumstanoes surround
ing his murder of two girls in a church,
the Incredible nature of his crime, and
his long struggle with the law. J. Mil
ton Bowers, who was convicted of the
murder of his wife, but released when
the dead woman's brother committed
suicide, or was murdered, leaving be
hind a confession, genuine or forged,
that he had murdered his sister, was
another object of Interest In San Fran
cisco some twenty years ago. Mystery
still surrounds the case, many believ
ing that Bowers had his brother-in-law
murdered and a forged confession
prepared to obtain his release from
prison. These crimes were all nine
days wonders, but the Interest in the
present tangled skein Is as keen as any
they excited. With a few more strik
ing settings, such as the snuffing blood
hound scene. It may be that the head
less body will become endurlngly fa
mous in San Francisco history.
President Roosevelt's speeches are
plain, direct and usually felicitous.
Though by no means an orator, he
meets well the tests required of a man
In his position namely, that he shall
talk sensibly on practical affairs, and
not repeat at one place what hi has
said before at another. The high pur
poses of the man are manifest in all his
addresses, and he makes no speech
which could not be detected, from Its
characteristic tone, by any reader even
though the name of the speaker were
unannounced.
Another nail was driven in the coffin
of the Balfour Ministry when the voters
at Brighton decisively refused to return
to Parliament Mr. Loder, who had just
been named a. Lord of the Treasury and
therefore had to go before his constitu
ents for re-election. A contest is very
rare under such circumstances, unless
it ls desired to force an issue for the
sake of marking a point. This has now
been done with a vengeance. Brighton
had been a safe Conservative and
Unionist seat for twenty years by a
comfortable majority. The election was
decided on the free-trade versus Cham
berlalnism issue.. Unless all signs fall,
the high-water mark of the movement
for a return to a protectionist tariff
has been passed, and the British nation
intends holding fast by Its free-trade
policy.
Now, indeed, this ls funny. The As
sociation of Architects of Portland say:
"We hold that neither Mr. Wittenberg
nor any other member of the School
Board has any right to set himself up
as a judge of a set of school plans, any
more than we are judges of the qual
ity of the crackers that Mr. Wittenberg
bakes, or the kind of lawyers that
Messrs. Williams and Beach, of the
School Board, are." The architects are
too modest, by half; for they are better
judges on these matters than they pro
fess to be. Besides, the directors named
are competent men and "are very good
Judges of school plans. By the way, it
may be doubted whether an ordinary
brick building that is. one built with
outer brick walls full of openings, with
interior construction of wood, is safer
for a school than a building all wood.
A schoolhouse fire always starts from
the inside.
In reference to. the pending sugges
tion that the initiative be Invoked to
secure a law providing for the collec
tion of taxes on lands principally
owned by corporations which have been
alowed to go absolutely or partially un
taxed, a correspondent enforces the
caution of The Oregonlan against the
passage by this means of a law con
flicting with the statute of limitations
and therefore not likely to be sustained
by the courts. An ineffective and mis
leading statute is worse than none. The
Oregonlan sees no reason to change the
opinion alroady expressed that an act
duly passed by the Legislative Assem
bly Is the right means to remedy an
evil of this nature. All parties should
be allowed a hearing, and reasonable
adjustment of means to end should be
.provided for.
This Is a fickle world. Six months
ago, Albert E. Mead, candidate for Gov
ernor of Washington, in swinging round
the circle east of the Cascade Moun
tains, met with a cold, frosty reception,
and was frequently insulted by the
partisans of his chief antagonists.
George Turner and Henry McBrlde.
Last month, Albert E. Mead, Governor
of Washington, again made a tour of
the East Side, and his trip was a con
tinuous round of ovations. He was
wined and dined and flattered, and at
his feet fawned the same men who were
so busily engaged in "knocking" him
six months earlier. After all, nothing
succeeds like success.
The California Supreme Court says
the "recall is unconstitutional. The
"recall" is a handy device by which
dissatisfied constituents of a City Coun
cilman or other public officer may dis
miss him from office without adopting
the usual process of' Impeachment. On
petition, signed by a certain number of
voters, he Tnust submit to re-election
before his regular term expires. It Is
obvious that the recall may be ex
pensive, vexatious and altogether trou
blesome, both to the public and to the
recalcitrant official. But the courts say
that this Is not the proper remedy; so
the recall goes the way of other legis
lative fads.
It is just the right thing to make the
man .who spits in a car, in a depot or
on the sidewalk wipe It up or go to
jail. To the discomfort or danger of
others, no man should be allowed to
make himself a hog. With the human
hog it is easy to deal. But how to deal
with the human hog. or dude, or fop,
who keeps a dog that defiles everything
as he passes by, and tears up your
beds of tulips and scratches out every
thing In the fresh earth where you have
planted it, is another question.
It may be thought that the Standard
Oil people, rich as they are, ought to
have some measure of contentment.
But from the tone of the remarks of
Rockefeller. Dodd and Rogers, In reply
to critics who question them on how
they got "It," it seems pretty clear that
these magnates of plutocracy are not
having a feast of happiness, at all In
proportion to their wealth.
It's mighty easy to "run"' newspapers
in Oregon that is to say, some of
them. All they have to do Is to wait
for The Oregonlan from day to day.
and then carp and snarl and bark at
It not omitting, of course, to He about
it. which Is' perhaps even more easy
than the rest.
By removing all restrictions upon
liquor-selling and gambling, Nevada
expects to gain largely in population
She may. Indeed; but how large a pro
portion of such population would she
require to make her a great state?
Russia must look upon France's flir
tation with Great Britain much as
Japan looks upon Great Britain's flirta
tion with France. "Oh. these allies!"
murmur the Czar and the Mikado,
i
"The nation that shortens .its sword
lengthens its boundaries" may have
been true once upon a time, but Secre
tary Taft believes in lengthening the
bayonet as much as possible.
Mr. Beveridge wants to be City
Treasurer because he thinks "Mr. Wer
lein has had 'the Job long enough." The
difficulty heretofore has been to get Mr.
Werleln to think so.
Again the deceased-wlfe's-sister bill
Is up in. the British Parliament. It al
ways remains a wonder why the Brit
ish man didn't marry the sister in the
first place.
Standard Oil, as explained by Law
yer Dodd, is a benevolent institution,
supported at great expense by the
wealthy philanthropist, Mr. Rocke
feller. San Francisco is dividing its atten
tion between Parsifal and the latest
murder mystery.
Finding guards for his guards is the
Czar's chief difficulty at present.
Chicago does her best to be the Amer
ican Warsaw.
NOTE AND COMMENT.
The Rev. Washington Gladden refuses
to be Dodd-gasted.
Away In Rome Henry Watteron's
thoughts revert to last year's election.
Lord!" cries Mr. Watterson, "I hope
Judge Parker Is getting his just compen
sation in a big law practice. He was
about all there was to It having any
real merit. As for the' rest, oil and water.
cats, carrots and vinegar!" Melancholy
musings these, and disappointing fare for
those who want to read Watterson on
Spain or Watterson on Spaghetti in pref
erence to anybody in the world on pol
itics. In the House of Lords they are again
talking about the deceased wife's sister.
To avoid the possibility of a tantalizing
situation young Englishmen should Pe
careful to marry clrls that have no sis
ters. Then when the girls become de
ceased wives, the widowers would have to
turn to new families for consolation.
San Francisco is JS3.O00 musical, and ex
pects to beat Chicago hollow before the
brief season of grand opera closes. You
bet the Coast Is cultured and has money
to spend In proving It.
District Manager Rock has disappeared
from the Ken of the Insurance company
for which he worked, and State Manager
Hard Is looking for him.
Sophia Beck's photographs show that
If she has a trim figure it's in the bank.
The Milwaukee Wisconsin runs .half a
column of "Chicago Happenings." There
are 13 Items dealing with serious acci
dents, 6: persons found dead, 2; sudden
deaths. 1; suicides. 1; deaths from shot
wounds, 1; deaths from natural causes, 1;
and murderers sentenced, 1- Dear old
Chicago!
Belllngnam's mayor is reported to run
an unofficial social bureau. Girls visiting
the city are taken under the Mayor's
pare and nice young men are Introduced
to them. Result. In many cases, matri
mony. Thus Belllngham ls upbuilt, homes
created and the Mayor's position made
secure In many grateful hearts. Is it
too late for Mayor Williams to estab
lish such an agency as a campaign move?
Some kinds of oil on the troubled
waters may be very well, but Standard
Oil seems to trouble them still further.
With reference to the palendromlc name
of the Maine teacher Nella L. Allen
mentioned the other day: two letters to
the New York Sun arc of Interest. Both
refer to a bakery In Yreka (Cal.). One
says that the sign road:
S. GILLIG'S
YREKA BAKERY.
The other letter gives the sign as:
N. A. NOONAN
YREKA BAKERY.
Both are double palindromes, and the
sign read the same from both sldos of
'the window.
From Gresham comes "A Skryldiggle
to Spring." by B. L. Thorpe. We print
a couple of typical stanzas (In the hope
of saving the Gresham Gazette a Job)
Once more the buckwheat flour
Makes pancakes blue.
And the housewife spanks the boy
"With her old shoe;
Tho blackbirds have their bills,
The collectors, too.
. Till at a chuckled note.
The rooster toots his horn;
The hens go out to vote
From night to morn;
And the llttlo chickadees
Are left forlorn.
The reader must agree with Mr. Thorpe
that these lines will give him a position
beside the Sweet Singer of Skamokawa.
The Troy Chief says that a Kansas girl
calls 'her boau "Kuropatkln," because ho
never makes any advances.
One wouldn't expect a man without
wings to be slow about making advances.
It is astonishing women put up with their
present clothes. Any animal with legs, if
fettered with a petticoat. let alone several,
would eventually go mad. I should have
supposed. A human figure with a curtain
hung around it from the shoulder to the
ankle looks like a badly made postal pillar.
Tie a belt around your middle and you look
like a sack with Its neck In the wrong place.
Bloomers are a most irrational, ridiculous
and unnatural compromise between male
and female's attire. Rosalind In her tunic
and forester's belt ls charming; an opera
bouffe girl In tights and a-corset Is detest
able. The moment you get a woman with
legs and without a corset shape she's charm
ing; clad otherwise she coaxes to be. human.
Bernard Shaw Is losing his grip, in the
above extract he comes perilously near
talking senSe.
A Congregational church In Jersey City
has a "pleasure hall." and a dancing
class has been formed to make use of
the hall. Evidently the pastor Is a 'little
uneasy about this innovation, for he has
announced that only square danccrSxWill
bo allowed. "The cakewalk, particularly.
Is forbidden," says an account of the af
fair. Just why the lancers should be
stamped with ecclesiastical approval and
the cakewalk barred as a devilish diver
sion is not easily understood by the lay
man, but doubtloss there Is soma subtle
virus lurking In the latter dance or It
would not be banned by the New Jersey
pastor.
v WEX. J.
Docs the Devil Send 'Em?
Memphis Appeal.
We take colds we know not how, or
where, or why. We have observed all
the laws of health, yet we get them.
We take medicine, yet it docs not euro
us. Suddenly the pestiferous things de
part as mysteriously as they came.
Why is this? We can explain It only
on the ground that the devil ls the
father of all colds. It would scorn that
colds are a punishment for our' sins,
The pure in heart ought to be exempt
from them, but they arc not. Tho
vicious often manage to escape. Just
at present thousands of people In Mem
phis are suffering from colds. They
don't know where they got them, or
how they came to lose them.
Under the circumstances they had
better pray to be delivered from the In
fluence of the deviL
Source of a Kipling Title.
A reader of the Academy has lighted
Upon the source of the title of one of
Mr. Kipling's most successful books,
"Captains Courageous." The title will be
found In the opening stan2a of the 16th
century song celebrating "Mary Ambree,"
the Amazonian heroine of the siege of
Ghent in 1586:
"When captains courageous whom death
could not daunt
Did march to the siege of the city of
Gaunt.
They mustered their soldiers by two. and
- by three.
And the foremost In battle was Mary
Ambree."
The Wise Father.
Kansas City Journal.
A Cass County farmer wanted to get
his daughter married off. A young man
called the second time and the farmer
began to object, saying he didn't like
him. ,They were married the next w6ek.
MR. ROOSEVELT'S AMAZING ACTIVITIES
What He Has Bone Slace He Declared That He Would Not Be a Can
didate for President Again.
WASHINGTON. March 31. (Special to
the New York World. President Roose
velt announced on election night that bo
would not be a candidate for re-election
In 1S0S. Since that time his activities In
the way of public addresses and state
papers have been extraordinary.
November 19 In his speech at the un
veiling of the Kaiser's" gift statue of Fred
erick the Great Mr. Roosevelt said: "I
accept It ... as the symbol, of the ties
of friendship which I trust as the years.!
go by will bind even closer together the7
American and German peoples. There Is
a kinship of blood between the two na
tions." November 22 Introducing the Rev.
Charles Wagner, of France, author of
"The Simple Life," to a Washington au
dience: "No republic can permanently
exist when It becomes a republic of
classes."
November 26 Made a flying trip to the
St. Louis Exposition, and, although he
made no set speech, mingled candldate
wlse with the crowds.
December 6 Sent his message to Con
gress. In which he discussed In 17.000
words all problems of government, from
railroad rates to a whipping post for tho
District of Columbia. Made no reference
to the tariff.
Address at a Prayer Meeting.
December 15 Made an address at a
prayer meeting at Grace Reformed
Church In this city. The keynote of the
address was: "We must show that we
have been doers of the word as well as
hearers."
December 24 Letter of November 24
made public In which the President pro
tested' against the smoke nuisance o an
electrlc-Ilght plant near the Whito House
and demanded an enforcement of the
smoke law of the District Commssloncrs.
January 1 Shook hands with 79S7 per
sons. Told them he was "de-Iight-ed."
January 5 Spoke to the American For
est Congress. Urged the saving of the
forest?.
January 13 Sent Congress a special
message asking for a revision of tho law
creating the Isthmian Canal Commission,
and suggesting plan for reorganization.
January 25 Attended the annual Winter
dinner of the Gridiron Club and made a
speech.
Preached at a Church Dedication.
January 29 Preached at the rededlca
tlon of the Lutheran Church at Vermont
avenue and Fourteenth street. He said:
"The Lutheran Church In this country Is
of very great power now numerically and
It lf destined to be one of the two or
three greatest' and most important Na
tional churches in the United States'."
January 30 Spoke at anniversary ban
quet of tho Union League Club In Phila
delphia. He said: "At tho present mo
ment the greatest need is for an Increase
of the power of the National Government
to keep the great highways of commerce
(the railroads) open alike to all on rea
sonable and equitable terms."
January SO Made the speech at Annapo
lis presenting tho diplomas to the gradu
ating class of tho Naval Academy. He
said: i should be ashamed to see this
Nation play the part of a weakling."
January 30 Sent Congress a special
message on the divorce evil. He said:
"The institution of marriage Is, of course,
LET US UNDERSTAND.
PORTLAND. April 7. (To the Kditor.)
In your editorial of the 3th I see that you
recognized the Inevitable, viz.; The sueeess
of Socialism In America.
A move is now on In the Socialist party
ranks here to advocate the public owner
ship of The Oregonlan, but as the wool Is
being- shorn from your eyes. I will do my
best to prevent its advocacy at the coming
municipal election.
As you are beginning to sec through the
cobwebs of capitalism, I send you a copy of
Engel's Socialism, Utopian and Scientific,
hoping after you read It to see you at the
Socialist meetings held every Sunday and
Tuesday at 8 P. M.-at 300 Davis street.
Knowing that you would be out of place
in a Socialist hall without a Socialist but
ton. I enclose one, which I hope to see en
your manly breast at an early date. Just
as a sign of your conversion.
Read, mark, learn and Inwardly digest
this saying of Sprague's: "Socialism being
the child of social evolution, the only dan
ger lies, in obstructing It."
Now. as Socialism has been advocated for
the Iast'50 years, and you. the acrobatically
Inclined pen-wizard of The Oregonlan. are
only coming to see the Inevitability of its
success. I say, you have nothing to lose but
your brains, and very little of them.
Oh. DryasdUBt. If thou stilt wish to con
tinue this spineless, bpwelless, "Frankstein"
system, this .regime of eyeglasses and falsa
teeth, of male and female, physical, mental
and moral abortions, this race of stuffed
"clothes suits." In short, if thou wouidst
prevent Socialism, get thyself a ladder and
take down the sun.
Mr. Stelzlc. so-called trade union preacher,
Is reported as having answered the ques
tions that wore asked him at his discourse
on "Does the Church Help the Labor Move
ment?" in a very able and effective manner.
This Is absolutely false. Mr. Stclzle cither
could not or would not even attempt to
answer the questions that were asked him.
Mr. Stolzlo Is paid to administer chloro
form to tho discontented worklngmoa of
America, telling them to be contented with
coffee and sinkers, second-hand clothes,
lU-cent beds and annual baths In this world,
with a promise of all kinds of real estate in
the next world.
I would kindly ask Mr. Stelzlc to answer
these two questions;
What deeds of anarchy does he know that
the Western Federation of Miners com
mitted during the Citizen's Alliance reign of
terror In Colorado?
And, when, where and how has the church
net the Bible helped the labor move
ment? Yours for the revolution.
A WORKING GIRU
The Oregonlan prints the preceding let
ter, though It seems rather flippant. The
Oregonlan Is modest. It Is no representa
tive of "capitalism." It Is a humble
newspaper, without capital. Capitalism
has Its own organ here as It has Its
organs elsewhere.
But The Oregonlan glvos this lotter
place because The Oregonlan Is not ac
tuated by the miscalled "Christian" spirit
of boycott, and because, moreover, it is
willing to give Socialism a chanco to dis
play itself; even though the spirit of So
cialism ls to rule the country hereafter
and take public ownorshlp of plutocratic
newspapers In which category, howevar.
The Oregonlan can never belong. It was
not made by capital, but by labor; is not
In the capitalistic class, doesn't pretend
to be, but Is published simply as a news
paper, without support from outside in
terests. As a newspaper of the people
and for the 'people The Oregonlan has as
great a career before It as It has behind
It; even greater.
Capitalism hag its own organs. Tha
Oregonlan is not of them. It is not
backed by banks or plutocrats or monopo
lists, and doesn't try to pull the wool
over anybody's eyes, by offering hopes of
the next world as compensation for the
injustice of this. The Oregonlan is of the
people and It belongs to the people. It
can adapt Itself to the popular, and even
to the socialistic, spirit. It knows those
who cannot. They are the Rockefellers
and the Carnegles. and their apes here
and everywhere. -There will be develop
ments la the coming time.
Conspicuous Example
Tommy Paw, you're always talking
about moral courage. What Is" moral cour
age? Mr. Tucker It is the sort of courage,
my boy, that enables a man who has had
a poor feed at a swell restaurant to go
out without tipping the waiters. Chicago
Tribune.
at the very foundation of our social or
ganization, and all Influences that affect
that institution are of vital concern to the
people of the whole country."
February 10 Wrote letter to Senator
Cullom advocating ratification of the
Santo Domingo treaty.
At a Lincoln's Day Banquet.
February 13 Spoke at Lincoln's birth
day banquet of a Republican club in New
York. He said: "The white men of the
South must give the negro a free hand, a
fair field and a cordial godspeed."
February 13 Spoke at the banquet of
the New York Press Club.
February 14 Spoke at the banquet of
the Hungarian Republican Club, of New
York. He said: "I have always been the
better myself for contact with the East
Side."
February 13 Sent a special message to
Congress on the Santo Domingo situation.
In which he told the Senate that If war
came because of violations of the Monroe
Doctrine he must not be blamed.
February 22 Accepted tho. degree of
doctor of laws from the University of
Pennsylvania and made a speech Irj Phila
delphia. In which he advocated the greater
Navy, and said: "Our possessions in the
Philippines, our interest In the trade of
the Orient, our building an Isthmian
Canal, our Insistence on the Monroe Doc
trine, all demand that our Navy shall be
of adequate size, and for Its size of un
surpassed efficiency."
March 4 Made an inauguration address
and short speeches to the Rough Riders,
to the cowboys and to Troop A of New
York.
March S Accepted an honorary mem
bership In the Verelngung Alter Deutscher
Studenten In Amerika.
To the Tract Society.
March 12 Addressed the American Tract
Society. He said: "The gun changes, the
ship changes, but the qualities needed in
the man behind the gun. in the man who
handles the ship, are just the same ras
they were." Used the verse, "Be ye
doers of the word" as his text.
March 13 Addressed the Mothers' Con
gress and advocated the rearing of many
chlldren. He said: "The primary duty
of the woman is to be the helpmeet, the
housewife, the mother."
March 17 Attended the dinner of tho
Friendly Sons of St. Patrick in New York.
Advocated the establishment of chairs of
Celtic literature in American universities
and said: "There never was a time that
It has been proved that an Irishman did
not come up to the standard and did not
fight when there was need of It."
March 17 Spoke at the dinner of tho
Empire State Society of Sons of the
American Revolution, of which he is a
member, and said: "The Navy is the arm
of all others this country must depend
on to hold what we have won."
Tn addition, the President has addressed
numerous special messages to Congress
on bills of minor Importance, has given
four or five state banquets, has attended
nine Cabinet dinners, held four greit
evening receptions, besides attending Mrs.
Roosevelt's teas and other functions: has
had guests at luncheon and dinner every
day and has received delegations by tha
score, to say nothing of the routine busi
ness of his office "and the dally calls of
statesmen wlio have politics to talk about
and appointments to urge.
ESSAYS OF LITTLE BOBBIE.
Milwaukee Sentinel.
POETRY.
poetry is whare you commens every
line with a capltol and maik the ends
of the lines sound like each othcrj -thare
Is many kinds of poetry and only a
few kinds of plases to print It, so lots
of men that malk poetry have to ask
the Heleef Comity for help for thcra
scf and thare fHmtlys.
the first poet was Adam, he said
The woman said It was swete
And so I thought Tdo ect.
tho next poet was Hoamer he wrote
a lot of stuff about a fitc some Greeks
had at a plase called Troy he called his
poetry the Illyud or sumthing and It Is
hard to reed bekaus the lines doant
sound the saim at the ends but then ho
was doing the best he cud.
other poets wo.rc Shakespere and Ella
Wilcox, she is, a lady poet and used to
rite things about foaks throwing thare.
arms around cech other and kissing till
the wurld did end. and all such stuff,
but when she got oalder she got
ashaimcd i guess and now she says doant
throw vure arms around cech other, it
alnt nice.
The greatest poet I think was Mister
Longfellow hoekaus he wrote about Hia
watha shooting dcor and fishing for perch
and pickerel, and thats the best thing a
poet can rite about. 1 think.
poets are nice men to have around
beekaus thay maik- your hart lighter and
spend thare munny like drunken salers
and If you are a frend of tharcs you can
git part of the munny all rite, if poets
cud maik munny as fast as Mister Car
negie thay wud show people how to split
the wood.
Yankee Invefttivcnes3.
Llppincott's Magazine.
In a little Massachusetts town lives
a man who for two causes enjoys death
less local fame. For one things, he la
tho only native of the place who haa
boon to Europe; and ho. moreover,
performed while there the ensuing
feat, which the neighbors still recount
with breathless admiration:
While In Rome the New Englander
was shown a certain shrine before
which burned a solitary taper.
"That taper." explained the guide In
machine-built English "that taper he
has burned beforo this shrine 700 years.
He a miraculous taper. Never ha
has been extinguish. For seven long
century that taper has miraculously
burn before our shrine and not once
has he been what you call put out."
The Yankco viewed the miracle can
dle In silence for a full minute. Then,
leaning slowly forward, he extin
guished the flame with one mighty
"puff."
Turning with a triumphant chuckle
to the scandalized and speechless guide,
he announced calmly:
"Wa'al, it's aout now!"
Wnen Mrs. Stowe Awoke.
Julia Ward Howe on Harriet Beecher
Stowe lit the Reader Magazine.
A friend of mine, a Northern woman,
long resident in Florida, once gave me
the following account of a visit from
Mrs. Stowe: "I had Invited her to spend
the day, with several other ladles, at
my villa. Sho came with an old white
fur tippet wrapped about her neck. She
sat all day near tho open fire, occupied
apparently with her own thoughts, for
she spoke to no one.
"When the day was well-nigh spent
one of the guests related tho remark
able experience of a woman who had
passed through some danger, 1 forget
of what sort. Mrs. Stowe presently
startled us all by inquiring, with some
show of Interest: 'Did the woman
live?'"
The Secret Out at Last.
Atlanta Constitution.
An Ohio paper explains that Mrs. Chad
wick in her Young days borrowed 510
from a loan, shark and that the rest of
her career in frenzied finance was spent
In an endeavor to keep up the Interest.
Already?
Chicago Tribune.
Chorus Girl Has Gladys got her di
vorce yet?
Soubrette I suspect so. I heard her
humming the wedding march from
Lohengrin" this morning.