JHE MORNING OREGOKIAN, WEDNESDAY, . MARCH 15, 1905.
JSttered at the Postofilce at Pcrtlini. Or..
il3 eecond-class matter.
FUBSCIUPTIOK RATES.
XNVABIABLT IK ADVANCE.
(By Mail or Express.)
Dally and Sunday, per year '9,tX
Dully and Sunday, six months.. ........ 5.00
Daily end Sunday, three months....... 5
Daily and Sunday, per month........... -&-
Daily -without Sunday, per year . - 7.50
Daily without Sunday, six months - 2.80
Dally without Bunday, three month .... 1.95
Daily -without 8andayrper month -5
Sunday, per year 2.00
Bunday, six month - -X
Sunday, three months w
SI CARRIES.
Daily without Sunday, per -week -J5
Daily per week, Sunday Included. -... -20
THE "WEEKLY ORECOIflAK.
CXacued Every Thursday.)
"Weekly, per year 1.30
Weekly, six months
SVeekly, three months - -W
HOW TO REMIT Send postoSee money
order, express order or personal check on
your local sank. Stamps, coin or currency
w at the sender's Tlsk.
EASTERN BUSINESS OKT1CE.
The E. C Boclrtvith Special Agency New
CTork: Room 43-50 Tribune building. Chl
cero: Boom 510-512 Tribune building.
The Orecoalaa does not buy poems or
lories from indlrlduala and cannot under
take to return any manuscript sent to It
Without solicitation. No stamps should be
"inclosed for this, purpose.
KEPT ON SAX.E.
GMcaeo Auditorium Annex: Postotnce
Kews Co., 178 Dearborn street.
Dallas, Tex. Globe News Depot. 2S0 Main
utreet.
Dearer Julius Slack, Hamilton & Kend
rlck. 906-912 Seventeenth street, and. Frue
Cq2 Bros., 005 Sixteenth street.
Dec Moines, la. Mooes Jacobs. S03 Filth
street. .
Geldfleld, Tiev. C Malone.
Tfrtn, City, ilo- RSckaccfcer Clear Co.,
Sftnth and Walnut.
Xjo Angeles 1 lorry Drapkln; B. E. Amos,
&U West Seventh street.
Minneapolis M. J. Ka.Tans.uch, 60 South
trhlrd; I Resrelaburuer. 217 First avenue
South.
New 1'ork City I Jonee A Co.. Astor
toe. '
Oakland, CaL W. H. Johnston. Four
iteenth and Franklin streets.
Ogdea ST. R. Qodsxd and Meyers & Har
row: D. X. Boyle.
Omaha Barkalow Brofc. 1112 Farnhara:
DUegeath Stationery Co., 130S Farnham.
SHcXausMIu Bros-. 246 8. 14th.
Phoenix, Arix The Berry hill News Co.
Sacramento, CaL Sacramento News Co.,
fc29 El straeC
Salt lake Salt Dake 2ewi C.. 77 West
Second street South.
feinta Barbara. CaX 8. Smith.
San Diego, CaL J. Dlllard.
Son ITraBcSsco J. K. Cooper A Co.. 740
Market treet; Foster Ss Crear. Ferry News
Btaad; Ooldsmlth Bros., 230 Sutter: D. E.
9C Palace Hotel News Stand; F. W. Pitts.
IOCS Market; Frank ' Scott, 80 Ellis; N.
Wheatley. 3 Sterenson; Hotel St Francis
News Stand.
St. Louis, Mo, E. T. Jett Book & News
Company, 800 Olive street.
Washington, d. c. Kbblt Hous News
Stand.
PORTLAND, WEDNESDAY, MARCH 15.
NO DANGER OF RACK SUICIDE.
The National Congress of Mothers
listened to an address by President
Roosevelt Monday upon a question with
which his name has been associated,
more or less Intelligently, for the past
two or three years "race suicide,
The President did not confine himself
to this question, however, but merely
made it one of the features of a very
able, straightforward and earnest ad
dress upon the family as the basis of
the Nation's safety and the bulwark of
Its defense.
Every one ought to read what the
President had to say upon this com
posite subject. Few will dissent from
the main points presented. That the
prosperity, the happiness, the very ex
istence, in the long run, of the Nation
depends upon the purity, the self-denial,
the wise ordering and the intelli
gent devotion of the masses of the peo
ple to family life is a statement the
truth of which it is not necessary to
BUDDOrt by argument. But that what
the President terms "the average
American home" is under menace of
distraction, disruption or extinction
there Is happily no reason to fear.
Hhat the race is threatened by declma
jtion -through "race suicide" or from any
other cause, the children that still
throng the homes of the "plain people'
end literally swarm the public schools
disprove. Indeed, the lact that there
ere more ohlldren born in almost any
community than can readily find place
in its industries or (In the -urban com
munities) in the schools, is a fact ap
parent to the most casual observer.
It is manifest, therefore, that the
evil to which the President refers la not
widespread. It exists, however, to a
certain degree, among a certain -class
In every community. There are frlvo
Jous women and mercenary men every
;where Both of these types represent
selfishness in an inordinate degree.
They shirk parental duties and respon
sSbUities lor reasons ingrained in their
natures. "Who shall say that the world
1b not the gainer rather than the loser
thereby?
Again, there are people in every com
munity who decide the question as to
whether they shall or shall not become
parents upon the basis of conscience
and of expediency, not for themselves
alone, but for posterity. All women
should be strong enough to bear
healthy children, perhaps; but all are
not strong enough. All men should be
Btrong of body and of sturdy mental
fiber, energetic, capable and devoted to
the highest duties of life, but all are
aot no. We may with reason deplore
these things, but we cannot consist
ently deplore the fact that children In
large numbers are not born to weak
mothers and thriftless or dissipated
fathers. It is better for the home, bet
ier for the community, better for the
Nation, better for the race, when per
sons not properly equipped by Nature
fier the grave responsibilities of parent
ugc take counsel of each other and of
wisdom and decide not to become par
enta.
Moat persons can recall instances
"Within their own observation wherein
nhvelcally weak women have died
young, leaving a large number of deli
cate chidlren to the pitiful fate of
growing up without a mother's care.
No one will undertake to -say that a
case of this kind represents wisdom, or
even reasonably good judgment, not to
cay humanity. The gentle mother of
Alice and Phoebe Cary was an exam
ple of this t ype. Of delicate mold both
physically and spiritually; loving, en
ergetic, devoted to her family, she was
the mother of nine children bora In the
space of seventeen years, and died be
tore she was forty. Of her children
none lived to old age, and most of them
died in early life. "My mother's work,"
tjaid Phoebe in later years, "was never
done. The mother of nine children,
with no other help than that of their
little hands, I shall always feel that
she was taxed far beyond her strength
and died before her time." The mother
of Elizabeth Stuart Phelps, a woman, of ;
rare mental sifts, and. though the prod
uct of generations of high Ideals and
right living, of frail body, went early
to her grave after having brought a
number of children into the -world in
rapid succession. Her death teas a dis
tinct loss to her husband, her children
and to the world, and would doubtless
have been postponed many years' had
fewer children been bora to her. The
world suffers a double loss in such
cases that of the mother and her chil
dren, most of whom from lack of vital
ity die early.
These examples are cited to show that
this matter of the birth rate of c peo
ple cannot be decided arbitrarily.
Neither can that of divorce. Individual
judgment, specific conditions, must rule
in such cases. As for the Test, the fact
that no city in all the broad, land Is
able to keep the seating capacity of Its
schoolhouses up to the demand may
serve to allay any serious fears that
may be entertained of race suicide or
from any other cause.
In the meantime, the American home,
maintained by manly, energetic men,
kept "by womanly, energetic women.
and peopled In accordance with the
conscience and good judgment of these
by happy, well-governed children, will
continue to be the American Ideal of
greatness, of permanence and of
strength. It is its own eulogy. It Is
not merely a factor In our National life;
it is its basis the sure rock upon
which it is founded. There will always
be men who fail In the first duty of life
the support of the home; men whose
wives drudge in petty ways to add to
the insufficient family Income and
whose daughters go out to work when
they should remain and be maintained
at home to assist their mothers. And
there will always be selfish, ease-loving
women who shirk motherhood because
of Its pains and cares. But the great
heart o'f the Nation beats right upon
the question of home and family terms
which presuppose father and mother
and children the father at work out
side, the mother within; the children In
school and early taught to be helpful,
the whole constituting the Nation's life
and hope. This Is a condition. All else
is theory.
HOW CLASS LEGISLATION' SUCCEEDS
Representative Charles L Roth, of
"Whatcom, a prominent member of sev
eral "Washington Legislatures, com
plains of the vast amount of class leg
islation before the Legislature which
adjourned last week. He is quoted by a
Seattle paper as follows:
Plumbers, hankers, emhalmera, wagon-mak
ers, insurance agents, doctors, druggists, op
ticians, firemen, loggers, grocers and repre
sentatives of other private Interests have
been before this Legislature asking for spe
cial consideration. Fortunately many of the
bills were defeated, others were not.
Mr. Roth has the reputation of being
an honest, fair-minded lawmaker, and
as such he naturally saw much legisla
tion pushed through by methods which
were not at all creditable to the men
responsible for it. "While complaining
about the various "classes" before the
Legislature seeking the enactment of
laws for their own selfish interests, Mr.
Roth unwittingly discloses the reason
why such legislation reaches .the stat
ute-books. "Concerning the Railway
Commission bill," said Mr. Roth. "I
voted for it, not because I believed in
it, but because I believed it was up to
the Republican party to pass a Rail
road Commission bill." This was a con
fession that Mr. Roth did not believe
in the commission bill, and a large
number of others who, for political and
other reasons, voted for it regarded It in
the same light as Mr. Roth viewed it.
These men refused to back up their
Judgment on the merits of the bill by
working to kill It, but for an alleged
political expediency and to secure votes
for other selfish bills it was passed.
"When such Important legislation can
be rushed through to final passage by
men who vote for a bill, "not because
they believe in it," but strictly from
party reasons, why should there be
any complaint over "plumbers, bank
ers, embalmers," etc., coming: before
the Legislature and endeavoring to
work their own selfish measures
through to the statute-books? The
great trouble with the last "Washington
legislature, and few if any previous
Legislatures in either Oregon or Wash
lngton have been exempt from the same
trouble, was the irresistible aesire to
pay off local political debts at the ex
pense of the state. There might be lit
tle or no merits in the Spokane or some
other embalmers' bill, but the em
balmers may have been active workers
at the polls, and to oblige them some
of the home delegation fathered the bill
and forced It through. The Whatcom
or King County statesmen might have
fought the bill had they been in a more
Independent position; but, as they need
ed votes to pass their own bills for re
lief of some canner or logger, they
made no fight. The result was the em
balmers' bill went through because its
sponsors could deliver votes for some
other perhaps equally pernicious or uncalled-for
piece of class legislation.
These specimens of purely selfish leg
islation not infrequently get safely
through a Legislature by the aid o
votes which are cast under most violent
protest in order to save the life of some
really meritorious measure. The Rail
road Commission bill was a good illus
tration of this phase of freak legisla
tion. Aiding the men who voted for
the bill for political reasons, and not
because they had faith in the measure
were a -number of others who were
forced to vote for it under threat that
several very Important bills would be
held up until the commission bill
passed. So long as men will place
party expediency above public good
there will be plenty of "plumbers,
bankers, embalmers" and all other
classes of people with selfish Interests
to be served ready and willing to take
advantage of every opportunity to have
legalized their particular species of
graft.
SIDEWALKS CAN BE BETTERED
There are many old, dilapidated
wooden sidewalks within the "cement
district" that Invite injury to .pedestrl
ans and forewarn the city of possible
damage suits. Upon the property abut
ting upon many of these, -notices order
ing owners to place the sidewalks in
proper condition (which means to lay
cement walks) were posted months ago,
and when worn out by wind and
weather reposted, only to be again ob
literal ed or reduced to pulp. There is,
for example, a stretch of half a block
on Weldler street between Sixth street
and Grand avenue that is a veritable
pitfall for the "unwary. Indeed, the
wary in broad daylight wisely takes to
the open street when he comes to It.
The authority of the City Engineer's
office is weakened by carelessness of
this kind. It should be understood that
a notice to repair a sidewalk means
that the sidewalk must be repaired
by the owner within a reasonable time
or the city will do the work and charge
It up against the property. Otherwise
large number of the notices posted
represent an abortive attempt to exer
cise municipal authority, a waste of
time in posting-, and of money in print
ing them. Nq partiality should be
Bhown. Sidewalks that are good enough
should be allowed to remain unques
tioned (which is not -always done), and
those that are dilapidated should be re
built after due "notice, regardless of the
ownership of the abutting property. It
is up to the City Engineer to see that
this Is done, and thus carry out his
part In the programme of a. clean city,
a safe city and a city beautiful.
FLAX.
The world moves. The "Harriman
railroad Interests" have sent an emis
sary to Salem to tell the people that
the best of flax" can be grown in Ore
gon; that it can be manufactured Into
twine and linen more cheaply than In
any other part of this country; that
there is an ample local market for far
more than one factory can produce,
and that "the Harriman people are in
terested In this enterprise because they
are Interested in every acre of land on
both sides of their road." When will it
come about that Oregon people, know
ing every fact herein stated, having
had It demonstrated for years past by
actual experience, will have confidence
enough in each other to do such work
themselves, instead of waiting for the
'Harriman interests" or some other
outside Hercules to help them out of
the rut? After all, the sum asked for
Is only 200,000, and this Is supposed to
be enough to build and equip a linen
mill in Salem and fine scutching mills
in that part of the Willamette Valley.
For such a eum as this is It neces
sary to wait for Mr. Harriman'e help?
His part, by the way, so far appears
limited to getting a Salem committee
started at soliciting subscriptions to
stock among local people. What else is
asked from Hercules? To find a man
to put at the bead of the enterprise
who knows the business. How will he
set about finding a manager, is it sup
posed? Probably by Just the same
measures' that any three Salem people
could take for themselves.
The flax industry, with its attendant
manufactures, has enriched Belfast and
the North of Ireland more than the
great iron and shipbuilding yards.
The whole neighborhood Is one great
flax farm. In the North of France one
sees fields white with bleaching linen
strips, and farmhouses owned by pros
perous families, grown rich from flax.
Two factors test the value of the flax,
the length and the luster or brilliancy
of the fiber. North of Ireland flax,
with an average length of seventeen to
eighteen inches, matches the Oregon
flax with twenty-four. In luster there
is no comparison. The Oregon flax is
in appearance nearly as pure silk to a
mixed fabric Yet. because the experl
mental works at Salem, after strug
gung wiui inadequate capital, and a
crippling fire, shut down, the flax busi
ness, as to both growing and manufac
ture, shuts down also, until until Mr.
Harriman, -of all people, can come to
the rescue And his man goes to the
local people the" first thing to get his
start.
Unasked advice Is seldom taken. Still
it may be suggested that unless some
of the Sajem people interested have
business or personal connections in the
flax industry either in the North of
Ireland or in the North of France,
through whom the necessary inquiries
could be made, the United States has a
Department of State. A request to
Washington will bring promptly the
consular reports from both these dls
tricts. How little are these reports
read and heededl Some of our bright
est men fill these positions and spend
their very best work in their reports on
the Industries of their district. It
WDUl&mot take much time and trouble
write to the United States Consul at
Belfast, or to the Consul at Rouen, and
ask them to make inquiries and suggest
names of likely capitalists or man
agers. Or some of the Portland mer
chants and commission-houses might
interest themselves in the same direc
tion. The will bejng there, the way is
not hard to find. But the point of this
whole matter is this: When Oregon
has resources crying for development,
and demonstrably profitable when de
veloped, it is up to Orcgonlans to try.
and to keep on trying, to help them
selves, and wait neither for Mr. Harri
man nor any other outsider to begin.
Help of this sort has to be paid for, and
is very likely to come high.
HLSTOBT OUTDONE.
While the fame of Napoleon lends an
adventitious effect and interest to any
campaign, battle or other military op
eration In which he took part, it is
probable that future readers of history
will deem the battle of Mukden and the
harried retreat of the Russian soldiers
of even greater dramatic attraction and
horror than the disastrous retreat from
Moscow. Hitherto the retreat of Na
poleon's dwindling battalions through
the frozen country from Moscow to
Vilna has been the criterion of war's
horrors. Nearly half a million men as
sembled under the French eagles when
the Nlemen was crossed; a few thou
sands elunk back like tramps into
Vilna. The others had died of wounds,
exhaustion, starvation and exposure.
Kuropatkln's forces atMukden ap
pear to have been about 350,000 strong.
Japanese advices Indicate that In killed
wounded and prisoners the Russian
loss reaches the enormous total of 153,
000, and the tale has not yet been told
What the Japanese, loss has been there
is no means of telling. The figures
given In one dispatch, 30,000, are evi
dently an underestimate. But the fleeing
Russians, struggling northwards under
the rifle and shrapnel fire of the enemy,
are not yet out of the woods. If the
retreat is carried on to Harbin under
the pursuit of the Japanese, the scenes
that marked Napoleon's bloody trail
from Moscow may easily-be repeated,
although the extreme rigors of the
Winter appear to be at an end. Kuro
patkin's line of retreat is not through a
friendless and provislonless country.
but it is possible that the Japanese may
harass him more than the Cossacks did
Napoleon.
Evejt it remnant of the Russian
army succeeds In escaping, the battle
of Mukden will rank as the greatest of
modern times, from the number of men
engaged the enormous number of-cas
ualties, and the power of the guns em
ployed. At Leipsic, where Napoleon
opposed 160.000 men to the 540,000 of
the aHles. he left 15,000 dead, 23,000
wounded and -""15.000 prisoners as the
result of three days fighting. In the
same "time the allies lost 50,000 men. It
, will 'be- seen that Mukden, far exceeds
Leipsic In the carnage wrought, and
that the story of this Russian defeat
will form one of the broadest purple
patches on the page of history.
Mars has been pretty busy of late
keeping tab on the movemenTs of the
Russians and the Japs. In fact the
strife in the Orient has been more
strenuous than any that ever warmed
the blood of warriors. But the old war
god is about to have his attention called
to the usual Spring revolution in Vene
zuela. Wars may come and wars may
go, but the fighting blood of the Vene
zuelans never cools. This time it Is -a
proposed overthrow of the Castro reign,
and, in pursuance thereof, .the insur
rectionists are said to have secured a
steamer and loaded it with arms for the
enemy, and soon the guns and hades
will both be "poppln " down where the
Orinoco flows, On account of the greater
importance of the Far Eastern scrap.
Mars might overlook the "two-bit" af
fair In South America, but that would
be hardly fair, as the latter is a regu
lar entertainer, while the Russian and
the Jap may not fight again for a hun
dred years.
The question. What is to be done
Indeed what can be done with old tin
cans? would be a burning one at this
Juncture but for the non-combustible
nature of the cumbrous, unsightly
things. There is a factory no farther
away than San Francisco where, by
various processes, this ubiquitous
nuisance is returned to commerce In
the shape of various articles useful and
ornamental. But, alas, that is too far
away to offer or even suggest relief to
this can-encumbered public Driven to
desperation, scavengers with the con
nivance of householders deposit them
In the gulches, cart them out to the
suburbs, or pile them temporarily out
of sight in any old place. But this does
not conduce to civic improvement nor
really dispose of the cans. It simply
'dumps" them. From what quarter Is
relief to come?
However strong a position Tie Pas3
may be as compared with the open
plains in the immediate vicinity of
Mukden, it is unlikely that Kiiropatkin,
weakened by the loss of so many men,
such vast quantities of stores and so
many guns, will be able to hold it long
against the Japanese. Harbin is al
most 300 miles to the northward, the
railroad running for the first hundred
miles or so from Tie Pass through a
valley between mountain ranges. Near-
ing Harbin, the country becomes more
open and the line traverses extensive
plains. The Japanese are probably too
exhausted to press Xuropatkin hotly
should he succeed in entrenching him
self at Tie Pass, and will probably pur
sue their former tactics of making
haste slowly.
New York's latest "horror" is but a
variation upon the story of the Slocum
and of the Iroquois Theater. Helpless
tenement-dwellers are burned to death
because the fire escapes are blocked,
contrary to all ordinances. Disregard
of law is the basic cause of such catas
trophes, but each horrible event merely
provokes a fleeting spasm of virtue. It
Is not possible to believe that the
wafers of New York harbor are sailed
by steamers as ill equipped as was the
Slocum, nor Is it possible to believe
that there are no theaters there in
which the same defiance of regulations
prevails as In the Iroquois.
The Endico tt, Washington, farmer
who undertook to chastise his son of 21
years for a serious moral, social and
domestic offense running away with
the young wife of his elder brother
began his parental discipline rather
late in life to insure success. As might
have been expected, the elder man. was
easily vanquished by the younger, and
the Sheriff was compelled to take a
hand and quell the family disturbance.
The rod in this Instance was spared
too long, since clearly the boy was
spoiled.
Motor-boats are likely to bring as
much travel to waterways as the auto
mobile Is doing on the .roads. One of
the probabilities of the future Is the use
of China's rivers and thousand-vear-o'd
canals by hundreds of fast and handy
motor-boats, which an American Con
sul reports as becoming Increasingly
popular with the Chinese
Russia declares she will not consider
peace. And yet she wllL She said the
same thing for a time after the fall of
Sebastopol; and yet In a short time she
offered terms of peace. . She is hurt
now far more than she was by the fall
of Sebastopol; and shortly, after rea
sonable bluster, she will make peace, as
she did then. No virtue like necessity.
Russians are retiring to the north,
perhaps in quest of a cooler climate
for the Summer. After "luring" the
Japs to Mukden, they found that Gen
era Is January and February had not
cooled the Winter temperature Maybe
the Russians can "lure" the Japs 'to
Moscow by next Winter.
A new primary law disposed of the
Simon machine but set up another ma
chine. The direct primary law has
given the present machine a jab which
Is regarded in some quarters as mortal.
Must the next machine be disposed of
with still another primary law?
President Castro, of Venezuela, Is
now getting after the French Cable
Company. Perhaps he -is anxious to
see if France will bite, as the small
boy pokes his finger into the lion's
cage.
"Properly done, gambling is not
dissipation," says Professor Kirby, of
the Catholic Unlveraity of America. Of
course. Skillfully done, gambling- is an
accumulation rather than a dissipation.
Tammany says Editor Hearst has
joined the New York Republican ma
chine to make trouble In the next city
election. Troublevwill be a mild nam
for It
Russia's notion that the longest
purse wins in the war Is rapidly fad
Ing away. Itfakes men to win battles,
The result of the long agitation for
closed draws is that the bridge-tenders
have been officially told to be good.
Striking employes of the New York
subway were successful in gaining a
reduction of wages.
This Is the day' ordained by- law for
cessation of salmon fishing on the Co
lumbla. Why?
Perhaps the Czar wants peace forced
NOTE ANT) COMMENT.
Rojestrensky is in the deuce of a fix..
Forwards lie .the Japs; backwards lie the
deadly English fishing smacks.
As a result of President Roosevelt's
speech before the National Congress of
Mothers we may expect a bcok-boosting
campaign, similar to that which followed
the President's mention ot The Simple
Life."
'UNLEAVENED BREAD"
Endorsed by President Roosevelt;
WE NEED THE DOUGH.
Judge Grant's Great Work:
"HAVE YOU SEEN SELMA ?'
Held Up by the President as a Norrible
Example. '
DEE-LIGHTFUL !
Secretary Taft is to take a few score
Senators and Representatives to the Phil
ippines this Summer, and as a result we
shall probably have some Manila Kipling
writing a revised "Padgett, M. P."
A party to a local suit says of an attor
ney that he haa no reputation
as a lawyer, "but is known as a dreamer.
poet and philosopher." If that isn't com
plimentary, we'd like to know what Is.
All the way from Philadelphia to Pom-
eroy in Washington a man 3uts pursued
his wife and the man who supplanted him
in her affections. The husband com
plains that the other man is able to
exert a peculiar attraction upon the wo
man during the months of January, Feb
ruary and March. Perhaps the woman
turns to another during those wintry
months because hubby is subject to cold
feet.
In the. Sphere, a London weekly paper.
we notice that a court In Scotland upheld
the will of a sheriff, who was said by
some of his disgruntled family to be In
sane on the grounds that be kept a
record of the fines ha imposed upon his
cats for improprieties, wore "emotional
waistcoats," and provided that he be
buried in a wicker coffin to facilitate his
response to the Last Trump. Out hero
the sheriff would have been tarred and
feathered as a Holy Roller or a -Holy
Terror.
Professor Tufts Is trying to discover By
means ot a 'series of questions addressed
to the students of Chicago University
whether tho "honor system" may bo in
troduced or if official supervision is still
necessary. One of the questions, the
application of which Is not clear, is: "Is
It wrong to tell a credulousglrl harmless
but outlandish and untrue stories?" Pro
feasor Tufts, we fear, is asking fool ques
tions. Has he never been young? Does
he forget the yarns he spun in his In
ventive youth, when a sweetly credulous
girl hung upon his Hpa7 Does he think
that Othello didn't add a few cubits to
tho height of the Anthropophagi; a few
extra dangers to the imminent deadly
breech? What, wo would ask, is the use
of finding a credulous girl if one gives
her no food for her credulity? Even in
Chicago, even under the moat pious honor
system, the young men will continue to
whisper fairy stories into tho greedy cars
of the wily credulous girls.
Vaudeville is a deadly thing. In Chicago
recently a man shot himself oh hearing an
illustrated song. In Kansas City a "comic
English recitative," sent a man into con
vulsions, and the Journal alleges that an.
other man laughed himself into hysterics
when a "blackface comedian" got off this
"How do they get the water in the
watermelons? No yes? He, he. Why.
because they plant them in the Spring.
In tho Spring did you get that? In the
ha, ha, ha." It's getting so that persons
subject to hysterical attacks can't stand
the strain, and must content themselves
with performances in which the slapstick
supplies tho refined comedy.
Now it is Chicago that offers an in
stance of aMly cop struggling desperately
with a female "spirit." The world is
so full ot shams that It seems hard to in
terfere with a young woman who is posing
as tho soul of Mrs. Juggins' departed hus
band, or as the spirit of Socrates come
to give Mrs. Snlggln3 a tip to buy Gold-
brick Preferred.
One of the instructors at Wellesley Col
lege writes an indignant letter to the New
York Times, denying that he forbade his
pupils to oome into the classroom in gym
nasium suits. As the treacher says, his
whole concern is with the correctness of
their spoken English, and not with the
suitability of their attire. This Is a- very
sensible view to take, and if the girls
persist in attending their English classes
wearing bloomers there Is no reason to
think that their advance in learning will
be impeded. Presumably the pupils are
in such a hurry to reach the gym after
.the class that they save time by putting
on their bloomers beforehand, and It they
think It all right, how is a mere man
teacher going to make objection.
Mrs. George Gould was almost mobbed "by
an eager crowd of women at a recent play
in iew York. Scores pressed around to
see Mrs. Gould leaving the theater. She
wore "a black Jetted net frock, made with
a high girdle and suspenders, with
white lace ruffled guimpe, elbow sleeves,
long white gloves and a black Jet tur
ban."
Suspenders!
Woman, woman, you might have left
poor man his one distinctive article of
dress; his one ewe lamb of clothing, so
to speak; his suspenders, angllce, -braces
WEX. J.
Who Was Discoverer of Hudson?
Harper's Magazine.
No Dutch or Enzlish man can affirm
the discovery of the Hudson River.
Verrazzano must have distanced Hud
son's archives by nearly a hundred
years. However, the Dutch and Eng
llsh liaison in the matter Is close. Hud
son is appropriated by Dutch minds
and has a Holland tradition round him
He came in a Dutch yacht called the
Half-Moon In 1609. His sailors were
Hollanders and Englishmen; ha renre
aented a Dutch East India Company
on its way to find the much-eought-for
northeast passage to India. He ex
plored the Hudson, going as far as the
little town that bears his name, and
ne nimsen nas oeen transmitted to dqs
terity with such blended and mixed tra
ditions as to constitute him well-nigh
halfbreed In people's minds.
The names of tho river are varied. It
has been called Manhattan, tho North
River, the Great River, the Maurltas, and
in
tne year mio core jegaiiy ror some
length of time the name Riviere Van den
Vorst Morltias.
More Race Prejudice.
Life.
Two Italians lately over fronr the land
of sunny skies and high-art were at work
In a trench. They did not seem to be
able to handle the pick properly. The con
tractor called two Irishmen to teach the
"dagoes" how to work. After the lesson
was over Pat was heard to say to his
comrade. In a voice of scorn: "Molke. an
Is It the Iolkeso them they make Popes
out o r'
POET PLEADS FOR ROOM
"Give Se Sack My Str& Ckamfeer," Cries Robertas Love, of Pike Comity.
THE RHTME OF THE WHXAMETTB.
Alas I mice eyes not yet, satret
Have seen the lovely Willamette!
tSeaj!
Whafs thatT
Where did youet your rhymlnt at?
d have you know that our Willamette .
Was made to rhyme with well, with d-a 1J1)
Ah. fain- mine eyes to glimpse and greet
The wide and willowy Willamette!
(Rats!
Now that'
A case of eyes a blind as bat!
Tou ought to take that rhyme and ram It
Ten feet below tne deep Willamette I)
yearn to sail with BMlo and Betty 1
Upon the dimpled Willamette I I
(Oh!
You're slaw!
That's worse than ever bett;r go
And leam to sonnetlze or psalm it '
According to the swift Willamette!)
Ah, me! I fear I'd meet calamity .
"Upon the treacheroc Willamette!
(Bayl
Go 'way! .
Go hack to raking clover hay!
Tou're built for that no need to sham It
Here "where we know the true WW am t Us!)
And yet and yet and yet and yet
Twa "Salem on the Willamette"
In my geography, away
Back thero when I was raking hay.
And to the old red schoolhousa went
To leara about this continent.
Now name the capitals of states?"
We wrote them out upon our slate.
And spoke them thus the names of streams
Still linger like delightful dreamt:
"Maine Augusta cn the Kencebeck!
New York Albany on the Hudson!
Kansas Topeka on the Kansas!
Oregon Salem oa the Willamette!"
The Willamette! the Willamette!
Alas! it Is with sad regret
I give this idol up. Oh. d n It!
I cannot call this creek Willamette!
ROBEB.TCS LOVE.
It' a pointed argument that a "star" ought
to have at least five good points. Chicago
Dally Review.
ST. LOUIS, Mo., March 8. (To the
Editor.) A special 'dispatch from St.
Louis, appearing in The Oregonian ot
March 3, does me a great Injustice. It
states that I advertised the furniture
ot my four-room flat for rent or sale,
"owner moving: to better town," that
town being Portland.
Your correspondent misquoted) my
advertisement. My flat has five rooms.
not merely four, and I feel that I am
entitled to the full glory of the five.
Why. should I be thus curtailed bf a
quintette and cut down to a mere quar
tette? If this base and baseless fabri
cation continues ta go the rounds of
the press I shall find myself "reduced to
a triolet, or a dust, or possibly only
a unit, of rooms. Then the world will
behold the sad spectacle of myself and
family living In one room and offering
it for sale. Who knows but that ulti
mately the story will place me in a
ball bedroom at light housekeeping, do
ing the cooking on the gas Jet and
using-the outside of the window ledge
for a refrigerator? Or perhaps I may
even find myself snaring the back base
ment with the assistant janitor, and
warming my poetic feet at the laundry
stove.
I insist that X be set right in this
matter. My flat has- five rooms, all
adult size except the fifth, and is lo
cated at the top of the street, next to
pure country air. ' It is a five-room
flat, hot and cold water especially
cold gas grates, bath and other mod
ern Inconveniences.
Give a fellow-journalist full credit
for his achievements. After many
years of effort here, in N6w York, in
Boston and even in Wichita. I finally
have attained to the full dignity and
the superior glory of a five-room flat.
Who is thero so base that he willingly.
knowingly and with malice prepense
will seek to rob me of this distinction?
Who steals my purse- may have it.
and welcome there's nothing in it; but
ho that filches from me my good room
tho fifth room wherein I write odes
to nightingales, sonnets to soaps.
checks to gas companies and prose
masterpieces for the want ad column
he who rapes this harmless necessary
room from my happy household, who
with ruthless hand razes my poets
corner from its foundations and flings
SPIRIT OF NORTHWEST PRESS.
Penalty of Voting for Jayne Bill.
Bandon Recorder.
TCVum m pomnare the vote of Coos
and Curry Counties on local option and
TwVM-MMnn. last June and November,
with the votes of Senator Coke and Rep
resentatives Hermann ana Burns in tne
Legislature, we find that Coos and Curry
were misrepresented.
Wife Toils While Husband Snoozes.
Toledo Leader.
a rvtmnllfe wnman crets lit) in the
morning, puts on her husband's trous
ers, builds the fires, muKs tne cows ana
rinp? the chores all before the old man
wakes from his slumber. There would
not bo so many broken-down nusDanas,
who believe that marriage Is a failure,
.if more wives would follow the Corval-
lls woman's example.
Jealousy at Heppner.
Heppner Gazette.
The lone Proclaimer" runs a glaring
headline each week with the startling
announcement that "lone Is the best city
In Morrow County." While the Pro
claimer is loyal to lone, nothing can ever
be gained by misrepresentation. Every
stranger who comes to Morrow County
win soon find out that the statement of
the Proclaimer is not true. Tho only way
that a newspaper can build up the town
and country is to tell only the plain, truth.
Politicians Slick as Grease.
Tillamook Headlight.
What a fuss a few ot the politicians are
kicking up about the expense the nor
mal schools are to the state. It was the
politicians who grafted these schools on
the taxpayers, anyway, and now they are
playing to the galleries to get the graft
off. Some of tho politicians are slick as
grease when they see public sentiment
flop first one way and then another. Two
normal schools, one in Eastern and the
other in Western Oregon, are sufficient
for all purposes. Reduce them by the
popular vote of the people.
Senator Fulton's Troubles.
Toledo Leader.
The Grand Army Post of Hillsboro has
jumped on Senator Fulton with all its
feet, through the medium of a resolution,
for turning down a comrade who has been
postmaster of that place and. was an
applicant for reappointment. The vet
eran. It Is reported, was backed 'by a
largo petition of tho most influential pa
trons of tho office, whil9 the "pull" ot
the gentleman recommended by Senator
Fulton seems to be more or less a secret.
Senator Fulton hasn't been indicted, but
he certainly has troubles ot his own.
Editor Bob Smith in Tilt Again.
Grant's Pass Herald.
It is amusing to watch the antics of the
Republican leaders. Senator Kuykendall.
who wants to be Governor, and who, with
Speaker Mills, put through tho normal
school appropriations, i3 hysterically
ursrfmr tho people to usg the Initiative
and give the Normals one year more ot
life.- Senator Haines, or vvasmngton,
who is also longing to be Governor, wants
Its violated fragments to the five winds,
who scales down my possibilities in the
sale or rent market 20 per cent, is fit
for treasons; 1 will have none of him;
I wllInot entor him upon my list of
friends, though he be graced with pol
ished manners and five senses. Why
Bhould he thus heedlessly set foot upon
a worm? In this Instance the worm -turns;
It is a centipede, with hundreds
of poetic feet kicking in all directions.
My special abhorrence is tho four
room flat, and my special delight 13 the
five-room flat. Never yet have I de
scended to the indignity of the four
roomr. What poet ever poetized In a
four-room flat? Wherein is there room
for him to write? Parlor, bedroom,
kitchen, dining-room yes; but the dei,
the studio,' tho study, tho bard's bou
doir -no! One might compose quatrains
in a four-room flat; but how can a
poet make a living vout of foyr-liners?
One might manufacture parodies on
the Rubaiyat in a four-room flat; but
what's the use? He can become neither
a Homer nor an Omar if ho turns out
nothing but quatrains and Rubaiyaf.
Songsters must have room a room
in which to soar. When the poet's joye.
in a fine frenzy rolling, beholds naught
but upaolstered chairs, and extension
tables, and brass beds, and kltfhen
clutter, what inspirations may be ex
pected of him? He might earn some
thing by composing- verses for th ad
vertisements of a time-payment fprni- f
turo house, but that is commercializ
ing art and therefore criminal.
The fifth room is as necessary in a
poet's flat as the fifth wheel wn a
wagon, as the fifth point on a s ir, to
which poets sometimes hitch their
wagons when Pegasus refuses i pull
the cart.
This particular fifth room of z ino is
peculiarly adapted to a poet's p rpose,
and I trust that I shall be able to sell
it, or rent it, to a poet with readf cash; ,
none other need apply. The nam is.
six feet wide and 16 feot long jist the
shape for the proper manufacture of'
long poems. Tho occupant caij pasts
his poetic sheets together at tip ends
and roll them up as a scroll, and un-
rpll them to tho extent of IS feel with-
out creasing when he desires to read
them to his friends; or if he finds that
poetry does not pay In this room, he
can use the apartment for raising
dachshunds in It Is just tho right
shape.
Avaunt, foul fiend who robbed me of
my fifth room!
There is another slight mis-state-
ment in your special dispatch which
must not go uncorrected. Your cor
respondent calls me "the poet laureate
of Pike County, Missouri." Now that
13 positively cruel. I left Pike County
17 years ago. the year of the big bliz
zard and 14 years before the appear
ance of the Big Stick. Since then dy
nasties have crumbled, the heathen
have raged and the people . imagined
vain things; but never a vainer thing
have they imagined than that I am "the
poet laureate of Pike County." For IT
years I have sought to live down that
imputation.. I have changed my name,
and my clothes, and let my beard eTrow
at times; but over and always this an
cient ghost of my early youth arises to
haunt me when I "move to better
towns," Is not a poet who has roamed
and roved for 17 years entitled to a
Btate distinction, or at the least a sec
tion of a state? If I cannot b' the
"Missouri poet," let ma be tho "North
east Missouri poet," or the "Swamp
Section poet." Grant me that small
.crumb nf advancement In these 17 long"
and toilsome years. Or you might call
me the "Rhode Island poet," if you
will. That is the smallest state in the
Un'.on, even smaller than Plk County
but it Is a state. I once lived in Rhode
Island two days. -
Now I am coming to Oregon, and I
desire to submit a proposition to your
people. If the position of Oregon poet
laureate Is not already filled, I want it.
I promise to write beautiful odes to
tho saffron salmon, canned or uncanned;
to the snow-capped peaks, gleaming in
the altltudlnous Oregon ozone; and to
your own lovely Willamette whldh I
understand rhymes with "damn it" in
stead of with "you bet," a3 I had be
lieved until I met a man from Portland
the other day.
Thanking you for making these few
chosen corrections, I am, yours, In
blocks of five rooms,
ROBERT US LOVE.
1372 Union Boulevard, St. Louis, Mo.
the legislators to meet, without pay and
knock xut tho normal appropriations.
He evidently believes all members ride
on Southern Pacific passes. How virtu
ous these gentlemen become when the
people are aroused?
Bovine Happiness.
Burns News.
F. G. Blume, of Emigrant Creek, came
in from his mountain home Tuesday. Mr.
Blume tells us that he has quit feeding
his stock, as the balmy weather and the
sight of the hills with their grassy tus
socks all uncovered are things to turn
the bovine stomach away from prosy
hay.
Better Marry the Glri Next Door.
Eatacada News.
How unsatisfactory the mail order
method Is. A man near here who got
his wife through the matrimonial news
paper route is now asking the courts to
grant him a divorce. It serves the poor
man right. He should have patronized
the homo market and he would have
known what he was getting. Never send
away for anything when you can get the
same article at home, andthere is less
possibility of getting cheated.
Killed by Her Riding Pony,
Heppner Times, March 9.
Little Myrl, the 11-year-old daughter of
Mr. and Mrs. Charles Fuller, of Rhea
Creek, was kicked to death Sunday by a
horse she was riding.
It appears that the girl had gone with
the family to spend Sunday with .the fam
ily of Silas A. Wright, and it was on the
re turn home that the accident occurred.
Mr. and Mrs. Fuller went In a hack,
while Myrl and her 16-year-old brother
went horseback, the girl riding- a very
gentle pony.
On the return home one of Mr. Wrfght's
little girls accompanied the Fuller chil
dren, riding behind Myrl, when the pony
shied and jumped to the side of the road.
This caused the saddle to turn, throwing
both girls from the horse. Just at this
time the brother caught the girl's horse by
the bridle, but the frightened animal
turned from the boy, jerking loose and
started to run, dragging and kicking the
child. The Wright girl was uninjured save
a shaking up.
The brother "picked hi3 sister up and
carried her to the creek near by and
washed the blood from her face and ' at
once went for his father to. help take her
home. Dr. Kistner was called from Hepp
ner.jrbut the child was dead when he ar
rived, never regaining consciousness. She
was kipked only on the head, no bruises
being found elsewhere.
To Supplement Our Civilization.
Andrew D, White In Century.
As a result of observation and reflet,
tlon during a long life touching public
men and measures in wide variety, I
would deelre for my country three thing
above all others, to supplement American,
civilization; from Great Britain her ad
ministration of criminal Justice; from
Germany her theater; and from any or
every- European country save Russfa,,
Spain and Turkey, its-governs-) est ef
cities. ,
r