s THE HORSING QgEGONIA THUltoAY, JAKDABT IS, lt6. Entered at the Postofflce at Portland. Or., a mcob-c1bm nattar. REVISED SUBSCRIPTION RATES. Br mall porta e prepaid In advance) Daily. "Kith Sunday, .per jnenth-.. .J -85 Sally, with Sunday excepted, per year.. 7.60 Dally, frith Sunday, per year 8.00 Sunday, per year... ...... 2.00 The Weekly, per year L50 The TVeekly, S month! Sally, pr week, delivered. Sunday ex cepted .IS Sally, per week, delivered. Sunday In eluded - -20 POSTAGE RATES. United States. Canada and Mexico 10 to 14-page paper .-lo 16 to 30-page paper. .........2c Z2 to 44-page paper .................So Foreign rates, double. EASTERN BUSINESS OFFICE. Tho S. C. BeckwlUi Special Agency New Tork: Rooiiis 43-50. Tribune building. Chi cago: Rooms 510-512 Tribune building. The Oregoniaa does not buy poems or sto ries from individuals and cannot undertake to return any manuscript sent to It without solicitation. No stamps should he inclosed for this purpose. KEPT ON' SALE. Chicago Auditorium Annex; Postofflce Kews Co., 178 Dearborn street. Denver Julius Black, Hamilton & Kend rick, 806-912 Seventeenth -street, and Frue auS Bros.. 60S ICtb st. Kwuas City. Mo. Rlckzeeker Cigar Co., 2kln'h and Walnut. Ios Asgeles Harry D rapid n. Oakland, CX W. H. Johnston. Four teenth and Franklin streets. Minneapolis 31. J. Kavanaugh, CO South Third; L. Regelihurger, 217 First avenue South. New York City L. Jones & Co., Aator Souse. Ogdea F. R. Godard and Myers Sc. Harrop. Omaha Barkalow Bros., 1612 Farnam; Hagcoth Stationery Co., 1308 Farnam. Salt Lake SaU" Lake News Co.. 77 West Second South street. Saa FrancUeo J. K. Cooper Co.. 746 Mar ket street: Foster & Crear, Ferry" News Etand; Goldsmith Brot.. 236 Sutter; L. E. Lee. Palace Hotel News Stand; F. W. Pitts. ,.Z00S Market; Frank Scott. 80 Ellis; N. Wheatley, 83 Stevenson: Hotel St. Francis News Stand. Washington. D. C Ebbitt House News Etand. PORTLAND, THURSDAY, JAN. 12, 1901. IA. MISTAKE THAT OTHERS HAVE MADE. The distinguished Russian General XStoessel) who said that the main cause of the war between Russia and Japan was ignorance in Russia of Japan's power to fight, made undoubtedly a correct statement This sort of thing has happened before. "Plague on't," eald the knight in the play, "an' I thought he had been so valiant and so cunning in fence, I'd have seen him damned ere I'd have challenged him!" This sort of temerity has been the un doing of -many an individual and the discomfiture of many a nation. It is apparent that. If the war Is to continue, both Russia and Japan -will now bend their main energies to sea armament. Neither party Is likely to gain any further great advantage on land, for neither has a preponderant force. Japan may force Russia back further, but cannot destroy her armies. On the other hand, it is not probable that Russia can overcome in any de cisive way the land forces of Japan. But Japan now can win the war, by tiring Rusisa out, if Russia cannot meet her at sea. Therefore, if the war is to go on, Russia must greatly in crease her sea power; and Japan, in order to be prepared for her antago nist, must do the same. , Both armies in Manchuria are so in trenched, on lone lines, that a forward movement of either, unless with a greatly preponderant force, -vhlch could be used for flank or turning movements, seems to.be impracticable. Two armies, of 600,000 men each, face each other, and the lines of both have been strengthened by every resource knownto mlltiary science. It is not now necessary for Japan to take the offensive, as heretofore, for she has gained Port Arthur and a sea base, and has relieved herself of the peril that always was great so- long as Port Ar thur remained in Russian hands and sheltered a powerful Russian fleet.. Japan now can wait, hold the Russian" armies at bay and strengthen her navy. But will Russia, having found to her intense surprise that Japan can fight, insist on -pursuing the struggle? She gives it out that she has plans for aug menting her navy, which It will require two years to complete. But during these two years what will Japan be doing? Not a few judicious observers think Japan has won the war already, and that a disposition on the part of Russia to concede It will soon appear. The latest Is the suggestion that Russia will make peace now and prepare a !fleet for future conquest of Japan. But Japan will be strengthening her naval force, too. and when challenged again may be as "cunning in fence" as be fore. Ol!K PACIFIC COMMERCE. Our trade with China is growing at a rapid rate, and our exports to China at a rate much more rapid than our Imports from that empire. The follow ing table, which exhibits the tendency of our trade with China, is an interest ing one: Import into Kxports from the V. S. from the V. S. to China. China. Jff .....$15.357.2.V. J4.40C.S64 168 16.545.2S7 2.S34.S: 1N 13.S4S.4SS 8.547.241 leBT 1KS J 890 200 . 1901..... 1902 19U3 1904 .... 17.9H5,l2i 10.129.113 1 1.720.1587 ltl,587.G6G 19.624.3SU 12.C2S.933 20.052.114 10.442.811 14.602.003 15.51G.329 19.lN6.3S0 20.090,763 .y... 20.822.04S 13.311.4SS 28.903.324 20.537.184 The great gain here noticed, particu larly in our exports to China, comes about through our Pacific ports. It will be observable, too, in our trade with Japan, just as soon as the war risk shall cease. There can be no question that the United States within a time' not distant will have the leading place in the commerce of Oriental countries. The Pacific Ocean, as a result of It, will eventually become an American sea; The awakening, of China, largely through the movements of Japan, will produce great results. China has in hand projects for reorganization of her fiscal system, which will put new life Into the sluggish body of her vast pop ulation. Our own position in the .Ha waiian Islands and in the Philippines will be a powerful factor In this growth of Oriental trade with the United States. China will be threaded' with railroads. Japan will push her own en ergies and activities to the utmost. Our Pacific commerce will grow to pro portions that now can scarcely, be Im agined. It was no great contest in California that resulted in the election of Frank P. Flint as United States Senator. It appeared to be conceded that the Sena tor should go to the South; and Senator Bard, the Incumbent, who desired re election, was distinctly out of touch with the Republican organization and was not especially strong with the peo- "Ple. With "the "poll tjcians, geography, .and bis own wide personal ifollowing behind him, to say nothing of the Southern Pacific Railroad. Mr. Flint achieved an early triumph. It is tald to. have been a clean campaign. In the sense that there was no boodle and the railroad Influence was not exerted In any manner obnoxiously or even Im properly. Presumably, then, while the railroad was for Flint, he Is by no means its creature. Better days polltl ically seem to have dawned for California. TARIFF REVISION" PROBABLE. The President Is much In earnest about tariff revision, as he-is in earnest about railroad rebates and freight-rate discrimination. He is always in earnest, and when once he puts his hand to the plow, he does not turn back. "When the election was over he Immediately caused It to be known that the Dingley tariff in all Its schedules did not, in his judgment, conform to existing conditions; but he encountered instant opposition from the standpat ters, who say they want to let well enough alone. "Why, they cried, should we alarm capital, upset business and disturb labor by useless tariff agitation, always a menace to prosperity, a sure forerunner of Industrial disaster? Aid rich, Piatt (Conn.), Spooner, Allison, the able and discreet quartet of guar dians of commercial peace, who have labored long and earnestly to make the United States Senate the democratic body it is, passed the word down the line that the Republican party had never yet made the mistake of reform ing its own tariff, and It was not going to begin now. This Is not to Eay that these wise and patriotic gentlemen did not think the Republican party capa ble of .error, thoughIn their opinion It had never made an error. They were merely Inspired by an honest and dis interested view that they knew more about the subject than anybody else; besides, they thought the people did not care assuming thatit really mat ters whether the people care and Pres ident Roosevelt might be dissuaded If he thought his party was not behind him. But the party Is behind the President. Scarcely an important Republican newspaper In the land has failed to pronounce its judgment that the dec laration in the Republican National platform that the tariff should be re vised by its friends Is tantamount to a pledge that it shall be so revised; and they have, with not many important exceptions, called on Congress to re deem the promise. But their demands fell on deaf ears until the President, after his wont, took hold of the sub ject with energy and determination. All the great Republican leaders, the backbone of the do-nothing policy, were summoned to the "White House and the tariff Issue as well as the freight ques tion was candidly discussed. As a re sult we are promised definitely careful examination of the question by Con gress, and a new tariff bill to be con sidered at a special session to be called In the Fall of the current year. The authority of President Roosevelt before Congress and before the people Is paramount. It exceeds vastly the power to shape legislation possessed by any President within a generation. It arises from and has Its foundation on the complete confidence reposed by the Nation as a whole in the President's probity. In his Impartiality, In his cour age, In his statesmanship, and above all In his -desire and purpose to do Justice to all interests, the individual, the corporation, the politician, the whole public. No Senator, however surely intrenched In the confidence of his party and however sure of himself, his opinions or his influence, feds that he can stand for a moment in the way of the President's plans; no co terie of Senators or Representatives, or both, however powerful, and however essential to a judicious administration of public affairs, cares In the present statepf the public mind to accept any issue whatever with the President. So we shall have tariff reform, or rather tariff revision, because the Republican party promised It, the people desire it, and the President has Indorsed it. SCBUUBAX RAILROADS. The announcement made yesterday that the new gasoline motor car or dered by the Southern Pacific Railroad for use between Portland and Forest Grove has been completed In Kansas City and is ready for shipment to this city Is curiously coincident with the statement, also made In the same issue, that arrangements for the electric line from Portland to Hillsboro are made, and that construction is to commence at once. It never rains but It pours. For many years the Inhabitants of "Washington County have been praying for a better service between them and the metropolis. Their prayers were un answered until they bestirred them selves to offer Inducements lo outside parties to come in and build an electric road. Even so much effort bore no fruit, and the Washington County farmers had either to haul themselves and their produce to a Southern Pacific station, with two passenger trains and one freight a day, or to plow through the muddy roads with old-fashioned wagon and team for the twenty-odd miles over the hills Into Portland. And the question is now presented. Can the traffic which did not tempt the South ern Pacific Railroad to put on a quick and frequent suburban service over an already constructed and operated steam railroad suffice to make It worth while to construct the new electric road, equip it. pay for electrical power, pro vide the suburban service and meet the competition of this new gasoline motor-car service of the Southern Pa cific? One or two points of comfort for the electric line may be suggested. The first Is that, although the town of .Hillsboro. twenty miles from Portland, is the objective point oneach route, yet the country traversed is very different- The territory of the electric road Is practically new to railroads, very fertile, and will afford traffic only now In Infancy. If the issues were to be fought out between the old-fashioned steam railroad and the new elec tric road, the arguments which have in duced the construction of electric sub urban roads all over the United States would control. For example. It would be pointed out that electric traction overshadowed steam traction In (1) gen eral comfort of the passenger; (2) clean liness; (3) ventilation; (4) lighting; (5) speed; (C) facility for frequent stop pages and far better acceleration of speed after a stoppage; (7) more fre quent service. That these advantages aer appreci ated by the public appear In the carry ing from Cleveland. O.. In 1902. of eight and one-half millions of passengers over the three electric roads, as against the 130,264 carried by the competing steam roads. The aggregate length of these three electric roads is ninety-nine miles. But the Introddctlon of the new gasoline motor car the first, as we un derstand, to be put Into regular service in the United States destroys the com parison. Here we are No have the fre quent service, the many stoppages, a reasonably great speed offered to the public The advantages expected by the railroad company introducing this new method are that the cost of the equipment will be by many points less than the outlay needed for the electric motor car, its trolley system, and the installation of its power, and that it is available for use on the existing rail road without fresh outlay of any kind. Further, that the services of only two trainmen for the gasoline car will be needed. The outcome of this experi ment will be anxiously watched- If the new cars do what Ib expected of them, the way will be clear for the construction and equipment of light railroads throughout Oregon". First cost will be Immensely reduced, and easy and cheap operation secured for a long future. It may be too soon to prophesy. But from present indications the gasoline motor car will prove as dangerous a rival to the electric car as the "Wels bach gas burner to the electric light. MBRIDE AND MEAD. Henry McBrlde, Governor of Wash ington, and one of the most spectac ular chief executives that has held the reins of power in the Evergreen State, yesterday stepped down, and a new era In Washington political life was ush ered in with the Inauguration of Al bert E. Mead. The retiring Governor,! a man witn many admirable qualities which drew around him a following of warm personal friends, was always a dangerous man to be clothed with such power as he wielded from the Govern or's chair. McBrlde was a driver and a rusher, and, once his mind was made up to accomplish a certain object, he rode roughshod over everything that lay in his pathway, regardless of the fact that some of the obstacles might be the rights of a people not at all times In accord with his views. As an - exponent of that dangerous theory that the end justifies the means, Henry McBrlde was a success; but that theory never s.ood the test of time. His personal likes and dislike. always biased his political Judgment, and as a persuader he used- the bludgeon in pref erence to reasonable argument. His connection with the railroad-commission issue is well known throughout the state. It is a matter of record that while Governor Rogers was alive Mc Brlde thought It would be unsafe to place the appointing power of a com mission In the hands of the chief ex ecutive; but as soon as McBrlde came into power through the death of Rog ers he regarded it as a vital matter that he be given authority to appoint a commission. The people of Washing ton are about to gain their long-sought' prize, but it has not been hastened- by any act of McBride's; and, today there are half a dozen commission bills be fore the people In the preparation of which the retiring chief executive has not even been consulted. The new Governor, Albert E. Mead, enters on his career under exception ally favorable auspices. No man who ever reached the high office was sub jeeVed to more villainous abuse and misrepresentation than was showered on him from the -day of the Tacoma convention- He fought hlstway to vic tory in the face of this bitter opposi tion without In any war compromising himself, and is accordingly In a posi tion to do as he pleascs.- His record in the Legislature and elsewhere In public life is clean and honorable, and he "holds the respect and confidence of the better element of his party. .Judg ing from this record and the personal ity of the man, his administration will not be a, disappointment to the party that placed him in office. Governor Mead's record in the past impresses one with the belief that he will be content to lead and not to drive. If he should continue this policy he has an excellent prospect for healing some of the vers severe wounds that have distressed the Republican party of the State of Washington for a num ber of years. At the beginning of his career as chief executive of one ofvthe greatest states in the Union Albert E. Mead has the confidence and rspect of all who know him, and the best wishes of thousands who have hot that pleas ure, but will be deeply interested In his actions. WASHINGTON AT THE FAIR. The determination of the Washing ton State Legislature to provide a lib eral appropriation for the Lewis and Clark Fair Is evidence that our neigh boring state still has plenty of broad gauge men who are ever willing to place the general welfare of the state above their own personal likes and dis likes. Notwithstanding all of the good which Oregon may derive from the Fair, the State of Washington Is cer tain to reap greater returns in propor tion to the investment than will be en Joyed by Oregon. This Is due to the fact that Washington has for a number of years had the advantage of much more liberal advertising in the Eastern States than has been the case with Oregon. The Eastern visitors who will be attracted to the West by the Fair will accordingly pay just as much at tention to Washington and its wonder ful resources as they will to our own state. Back of all this pecuniary advantage there isalso a strong sentimental rea son why" our neighboring states should extend the liberal aid which Is now forthcoming. When Lewis and Clark came Into the country there were no state or territorial lines in this new land, and the trail they blazed brought the entire Northwest Into touch with civilization. Few. if any. of the visit ors to the Exposition will miss a ride up and down the magnificent Columbia, and from the Cascades to the sea they will view as much of Washington as they will of Oregon, and they will find indeed "one country and one-people." The visitor who comes to the Fair by the Northern routes will, of course, stop over to see world-famous Puget Sound and the wonderful cities which have sprung Into existence along its shores. The visitor from the South will not re turn until he has also visited, these much-advertised places, and thousands of those who will for the first time visit the West would not think of returning without viewing the great wheat, fruit and stock regions of Eastern Washing ton and Idaho, or the great timber districts of the Gray's Harbor country. So many of the interesting events of the. early life In the Oregon Country" centered around the Columbia River that it is fitting' that the Lewis and Clark' bills in the Washington Legisla ture should be- fathered Vr meBafeer of the Columbia River districts, and Senator Rands and Jtepres-entatlve Megler; who made such a hard fight lor an appropriation two years ago, are en titled to the thanks of both Oregonians and Washlngtonians. It was unfortu nate that the heat o the Senatorial campaign was. so great two years ago as to defer action on the matter until this time. The appropriation, which passed both houses, while not as large as the one which will now be available, would have been of great benefit In starting operations, and it was sanc tioned, not only by a majority of the members in both houses, but by the people at large. However, there Is nothing slow about our enterprising neighbors on the north, and they are generally thorough in heir work. For these reasons we may expect them to be there on time with a building and an exhibit in keep ing with the great state which It will represent. Incidentally; Oregon will re joice with them over the praise which they will surely merit and win, for Washington In a sense will always re main a portion of what was known to Lewis and Clark as the Oregon Country. The Montana Mlssoullan notes re proachfully the absence from the wide ly published list of the notable dead of ISO the name of Chief Joseph. Joseph passed but now from the stage of life that he made at one time a- bloody one. A .good runner, a game fighter, latterly a man of peace by compulsion there were many Incidents of his spectacular career that gave token of a brave, haughty and Implacable spirit. His record as a warrior is, however, blot ted with the blood of women and chil dren, and his name and fame do not command unqualified admiration, albeit there is no question b'ut he was a man of great courage and persistent pur pose. -But Joseph was not a philoso pher, since he was unable to accept the terms of his defeat uncomplainingly, and, eaten up by discontent, he "re pined and groaned and withered from the earth" while yet scarcely beyond the prime of his years. A pathetic feature, from our point of view, of General Nogl's stubborn In vestment of Port Arthur is the fact that his two sons were killed during the siege, one at NanBhan and the other at 203-Meter Hill. Answering a. refer ence made to this double loss by Gen eral Stoessel In the Interview between them that followed the surrender, the loyal and stoical Japanese General re-, plied, smilingly, that he felt that his sons' lives were not sacrificed In vain, since the points at which they fell were of the greatest importance to the Jap anese army. One vaguely wonders whether these Impassive disciples of Buddha do not feel the sting of death for themselves or their children, or are so thoroughly schooled In self-control thaf, suffering even as others do, they smile and make no sign of distress? Very effectively the Northern Pacific Railroad Company continues exploita tion of the Lewis and Clark Centennial. In a pamphlet of forty-eight pages, written by Olln D. Wheeler, there is presented concisely the story of the expedition and an excellent prospectus of the great Fair, Including a very fine birdseye view of the grounds. The pub lication is illustrated appropriately, all the pictures being up to the Northern Pacific's high standard. Curiously, the railroad reserves for Its otn adv;ertiH- mcnt only three pages of modest an nouncement. Through the enterprising paswmger agents who visited Portland recently the pamphlet will have very wide and effective distribution. With the resumption of the Piatt case in New Tork three extraordinary women are again in the public eye. Hannah Ellas, the colored woman who is said to have obtained three-quarters of million from the ancient Mr. Piatt, had the smallest financial success. Mrs. Webb-Duke can hardly be accurately classified as yet, but all Indications point to her operations In the financial world having run up Into millions. Mrs. Chadwlck, so far, remains queen of the trio. The strange thing Is that three such stars should occupy the stage at the same time. It cannot but please the peoples of the two great states of Oregon and Washington to note the Instantaneous way In which their Legislators throw themselves into the collar of business and prepare for the uphill pull of the early part of the session. Hardly was the House open at Salem before three resolutions were offered asking for postage stamps for the use of mem bers, and with similar snap the wise men at Olympla agreed that the state owed every legislator a fountain pen. Courtesy to their hostess probably prevented guests at Mrs. William As tor's ball Monday night from display ing jewels of greater value than those she wore. Mrs. Aster's Jewels were worth $750,000, the guests In the next class showing gewgaws valued at from $400,000 to 5500,000. Women wearing less than 5200,000 worth of precious stones did not glitter enough to attract the attention of the society reporter, and had to sink Into a sparkless ob scurity. It wasn't their night to shine. Sailors demanding overtime pay be fore turning to on board a vessel In danger of going to pieces present a spectacle that Is fortunately rare, and Captain Carlson, of the steamer Lakme, who related the story to Government officials in San Francisco, declared that he was so surprised that he had to get the crew to work by the use cf ca jolery and diplomacy. The sailors of the Lakme were lucky in not finding themselves cajoled with an Iron bar of convenient length. The substance of ex-Governor Mc Connell's testimony at the Smoot in quiry was that the Mormons are all right, and that the Gentiles In the Idaho Legislature play poker. Gover nor McConnell ought to know. Mr. Croker has troubles of his own In England. Too bad that a good man like Mr. Croker cannot pass his final days in the serene peace that comes from a life of benevolence, rectitude and good deeds , Two young men in Tacoma. on being arrested for theft, said that they were destitute, and. being too proud to beg. stole Instead. Pride and reason never could live together. The sight of Governor Pennypackers muzzle has set every newspaper In Pennsylvania barking furiously. - K0TJ? AMD C0UHXKT. . - r- - By the way. hasn't the 1003 prune crop failed yet? Governor Pennypacker's Idea of a good muscle Is the guillotine. The Japanese are having a long Job clearing away the mines around Port Arthur. The Russians used the popular naval plan of discovering uncharted reefs by bumping Into them. So long as discontented Americans con fine their bomb-throwing to statues., and military statues at that, they can't be placed In the European class. Ten thousand Poles In the Port Arthur garrison, according to the Dally Tele graph's correspondent, were indifferent fighters. The D. T. man must mean "dif ferent fighters." Whitman County's prosecuting attorney will try to check the habit of carrvlnr Iconcealed weapons. In the confident ex pectation ot tnereby having less work to do In murder cases. Almost as famous as 54-40 Is 11-7. Judge -Houston, of Tacoma, who Is an entertaining "remlnlsccr- told of throw ing a baseball 298 feet. It stands merely as a court record, however. IJmburger in the registers made It the Albany High, School for a time. Mrs. Chadwlck's diamonds are in soak, just like the ordinary poor-millionaire's. Professor Meson, of Washington, has gone Professor Schuyler, of St. Louis, and Professor Maxwell, of New York, one better on the question of woman's slip shod mode ot walking. The other dis tinguished pedagogues confined, their re marks to schoolmarms and their careless we hasten to add, allegedly careless way of walking, but Professor Mason goes further and says that woman Is not built for running, adding that "she may walk like a goddess, but she runs like a hen." There, is good ground, for the out spoken Professor Mason's remark, as contemporary observation discloses, but one cannot Justly attribute It to any more deep-seated reason than skirts. Diana, who would hardly "give unto tho flying hart space to breathe, how short soeven," was not encumbered with flap ping petticoats, nor did Atlanta outdis tance her panting If pantless suitors un der tho handicap of even a rainy-day skirt. Nor, If magazine Illustrations are to be believed, do the young amazons of the girl's colleges run 100 yards In 11 seconds or thereabout In the garb they wear at a dance. The "winning wave, deserving note In the tempestuous petti coat" has nothing to do with winning footraces, and Professor Mason should at tribute woman's (alleged) hen-like gait to the fashion of her clothes rather than to the fashion of her making. Even under this handicap some women can run more like bares than hens. Detective Hawley could Inform the Washington educator on this point. Although not exactly built to rival a Duffy, Hawley can catch up with most of tho truant boys he has to arrest, but Julia Shea, a sixteen-year-old girl, ran rings around him and finally disap peared under a bridge. Anyway, some hens can run faster than others. The Irxigon Irrigator carries the "pat ronize home industry" idea to an unwar ranted extreme. Witness this mean gibe. "It is currently rumored," says the paper "that one of our young men Is going away in a few days to bring back a -wife. We; .take come stock. In another rumor, to the effect that he has been refused by every girl In Irrigon." To make a "Scripture" cake, the fol lowing recipe Is given by the Atchison Globe: Four cups of I Kings. lv:22; Ift cups of Judges. v:25 (last clause); two cups Jeremiah. vi:20: two cups Nahum. 111:12; two cups I Samuel. xxz:12; one cup Numbers. xvll:S; two tablewpoonfuls I Samuel. xlv;25; season with two drops Chronicles, !x:9:six drops Jeremiah. xvli:ll: a pinch of Leviticus, 11:13; one-half cup Judges. iv:10 Oast clause); two tablespoon fuls Amos, Iv:5. An' Atchison woman, who has been engaged in writing a book for the past flvo years, has given It up because ahe can't find a man she ran portray as the hero. Sho has the beat father In Atchison; her husband is one of the finest, and her four brothers are considered among the town's beat boys. But the. woman has looked them over, and decided that none of them will do. This fettle it; her book will be mawkish when- It appears. Atchison Globe. If a book is to be mawkish because the woman writing it couldn't pick a hero out of six men. what will Hattie Ermlnle Rives' book be like when she couldn't And a hero among all Portland's brave and true? Tubbs versus tips Is a fight raging In the Missouri Legislature. Tubbs has Intro duced a bill providing a penalty of $300 for allowing a tip to be received, the pro prietor of the hotel or restaurant being held liable. Tubbs represents G&sconada County, so that his bill Is doubly a gas conade. "The girl that is popular Is the girl who laughs," says the Kansas City World. "She laughs with her beaux but never at them." Similarly the man that is popu lar Is the man who smiles, not at his friends, but with them. WEX. J. Little Walter's Poor Little Brot'ier. S. S. Klser in Chicago Record-Herald. A year ago I got to be A Utile baby's brother. And since he come, why him nor me Ain't neither had no mother. ily" father says she's went to, etay Away up there above us. And always watch us every day And not forget to love us. And father says It's God what brings Around tbc'ilttle brothers. And sees all things and knows all things And takes away our mothers. There's something that I can't we through: My father says God brought him If God sees all and knows all. too. I wonder why we got him; I don't see why he'd want-to giTe A boy & little brother That had to come on earth to live And never have a- mother. I'm sorry for tha little chap That's lyin' there and crow In And cut tin' teeth In nurse's lap And never, never knowin. If I was God you'd never see , Another little brother Brought down on earth again t be Left here without hU mother. High Fare Below Stairs. Hearth and Home. Most London servants are served with food no less than seven times a day. They partake of tea, like their masters, on awakening. Breakfast. la "the room' for the upper functloa arles. In the servants' hall for the les ser. Is a substantial meat meal. At II o'clock beer or milk and light refresh ments are set forth, and bridge th time till a heavy repast at 2 o'clock or so. Tea. and then an elaborate din ner and refreshments or light supper about 10 o'clock, bring the number at meals up to seven. THE RECORD SMASHERS OF 1904 Caries ad bttercsSa Eveata la All Lists of Hamam Actlvity-Craak-aa la AH Ita Straagrf MaBlfestatiean. New Tork Sun. HR strenuous record-smashers-' made things .hum during the year just closed. Chicago produced the prize villain, a man who was accused In court by his wife, sister and employer with de sertion, ingratitude, theft, lying. Intem perance, profanity and singing "Bcdella" when the neighbors wanted to sleep. A Pennslyvanla farmer won a medal from his neighbors by having his wifo ar rested for cruelty because she Insisted on working a phonograph overtime on the tormenting air "Hiawatha" in spite of all protests. In St. Louis a thirsty man drank nine quarts of whisky In 34 hours and died. The classic town of Evanstown, the seat of Northwestern University, developed the biggest pie eater of the year. Five thick. Juicy pies a la mode smothered Jn Ice cream devoured at a single sitting was the new record set by Ed. O'Laughlln In a contest with Lawrence English, who lost by half a pie. But In the drinking line Harry E. "Vale of Englewood. a Chicago suburb, seems to have taken the bun. "He drank up our bakery," said Mrs. Vale In her suit for divorce. "It was a pretty big drink, but he swallowed it In short oft der." Checks to saloonkeepers aggregat ing several thousands of dollars showed what that big drink had cost. An ambitious Missourlan wrote 40,063 words on a postal card, a feat In chlrog raphy almost as difficult to achieve as would be a sane explanation as to why bo did It During a fire In a New York hotel a woman dressed herself In less than 15 minutes. This record Is likely to stand for at least a century. Percy T. Bennelt"ls a man that New Jersey 'Judges called the champion long distance pianist of the world without waiting to hear from all the young ladles who are practicing "The Maiden's Pray er." In a Newark theater Bennett bat tered out "Farewell, My Lady Love." etc., for 24 hours at a Btretch. when compas sionate friends Interfered and dragged him home bodily, though he threatened another explosion. Miss Maggie Albany's remarkable achievement as a Sunday school pupil brought her a gold watch early In 1S04. For 2S years without a single dereliction she had attended the services of the Ebe nezer Methodist Sunday School In Phila delphia. Sho began at the age ot 3 years. "If I die at 30," she said proudly, "It will be a 77 year's record." In the year's harvest of oddities two enormous photographs cut no1 mean fig ure. .One was a picture of the Gulf of Naples, made by a Berlin company and shown at St. Louis. It was 29 feet long and 5 feet high the largest photograph ever produced In the world. . The other was a photograph of the Chi cago Board, of Trade showing the bulls and bears clamoring In the pit at fever heat. Twelve pounds of flashlight powder was used by the operator, this powder be ing distributed at 330 different points around the balcony and Ignited simultan eously by electricity. Two record-smashing families bound for Chicago landed from a steamer at Balti more In April. The head of one family was Joseph Zowinskl. aged 78. whose sons daughters and grandchildren num ber 30. The head of the other was Carl Zenke, the father of a brood numbering 17. The Two Million Club, for promoting population, ought to hand out a few med als to Joe and Carl. All hands agree to place tho terpslcho rean pennant over the domicile of Mrs. John Polinski. a Jersey City bride who danced 67 times at her wedding reception and then fell In a swoon. She had kept her feet twinkling from 4 P. M. until long after midnight, and It took, a quick and BITS OF OREGON LIFE. Johnnfe and His Gun. Dayton Chronicle. John Bowen, aged 12. who lives on Eck Ier Mountain, killed .a large bob-cat last Saturday. The animal had stolen a chicken and ran up a tree, making a splendid mark for Johnnie with his gun. Tough Joke on Cornie. Port Orford Tribune. A case of whisky sent down to Gold Beach by Cornie Woodruff to a friend was changed by hocuspocus into a case of coal oil when delivered, and It would take the whole sky to paint the recipient's huge disgust. Gertrude Meant Business. Proaser Record. Gertrude Herke, with wrath In her eye and a shotgun In her hand, drove three surveyors, who were surveying a line across her land for an Irrigation ditch, from her place on the Upper Ahtanum, In this county, Saturday. The men had pro ceeded but a short distance with their work when the woman appeared. Increasing His Deadhead List. 8 Condon Times. The News man. of Mitchell, was out the other day when soma one left a goose In the office. When the next paper came out the editor said that If the person who left the goose would come around he would receive a year's subscription to the News, with the reported result that 14 men and one woman claimed the goose. Let It Be Nesmith. Salem Statesman. In all probability thre will be & new county created at this session ot the Legislature out ot a portion of Crook and Wasco Counties, upon which question the Statesman has no opinion to offer, but it does desire to suggest that If the proposition matures tha proposed name of "Stockman" b abandoned for another more appropriate for such purpose. The Oregontan has suggested that thf new county be named "Nesmith." and the States man desires heartily to second the motion. Senator Xesmith was one of the moat active and best known of our early pioneers, having come to Oregon In 1343, and from that date for nearly 40 years was a prominent part of the life of the territory and state. Especially was hla service of value to Xhe Nation during the days of the Civil War, when, though elected as a Democrat, he was of striking aid to the administration of President Lincoln, and was given credit for it by our great war President. In 1860 he was elected to the tJnited Stat2S Senate, with Edward D. Baker as his col league, after whom one of our counties was named more than 40 years ago. If a new po litical subdivision is to be created It would be bat the Just recognition of one of the most eminent of our early pioneer statesmen to call it Xetenlth County, How Rank a Farce! Eugene Register. The Indictment of Mayor Williams of Portland upon the most flimsy pretext, one sd glaringly absurd that the District Attorney at once dismissed the case, shows how rank a farce a grand Jury can be without half trying. To satiate the spite and venom of a motley gang Is ndt the high purpose for which the average grand Jury Is drawn. Quashing of the Indictment meets with popular favor amongst right-thinking people who are the vast majority In the State of Oregon. It Is Not Kind. Washington Post. Before getting too deeply Interested In stories under a Portland, Or., date line. It Is well to see. If It does not carry an advertisement for the Lewis and Clark Exposition. -clever doctor to pull her back to xon sclousness. At South Bend. Ind.. Miss Mary Mamie Tutt. a saleswoman, married George P. Morehead. a well-to-do merchant. In haste, but subsequent events came so swift that she never thought of repentance. A I!w minutes after the ceremony Mrt Morehead willed his bride 0,000; two hours later he was dead. - At 4 US o'clock one afternoon B. C. Dobbins, of Chicago, was closing up a15. 000 business deal for a big department store; at 4:17 he slipped out to a Justice shop, and at 4:18 was married to Miss Elsele; at 40 o'clock ho was back In the treadmill engaged In another big transac tion. "No time' for sentiment In this great age of civilization and progress." he said. Deserted 14 times in 23 years wa a record that didn't suit Emma Larsen. of Chicago, and with the court's aid ahe let Carl go for keeps. The speed record for divorce was award ed to Mrs. May M. Roach, who was set free from Frederick L. Roach, son of tho president of the Chicago Union Traction Company, In proceedings lasting 30 min utes. After 25 unsuccessful attempts, Cecil Davis, of Cadillac, Mich., committed sui cide at Milwaukee by taking poison. Sha had tried almost every known method. In cluding bridge-Jumping, and wasafficted with a suicidal mania. The anal blow fell when, she was reproved for complaining about the color of the cutalns in her room. The biggest lobster ever seen In Chi cago arrived from the Atlantic coast In November. It weighed 18 pounds and 8 ounces, was over eight feet long and had claws 15 Inches in length. The dealers estimated ita age at 100 years. As it died on the way a fine lot of salad was miss ing. Monster, a ribbon-bedecked Iowa steer weighing 3,060 pounds, broke all records for heft at the livestock show in Chicago. The largest rabbit hunt ot the year took place In Oregon in January, when it was reported that 10,000 cottontails were killed. Bome TOO men and women participating in the slaughter. Miss Mae Carrlngton. of Springfield. Mass.. In a typewriting contest at Madi son Square Garden, New Tork, made a record of 100 words a minute blindfolded. At the St. Louis Fair. S. F. Cole, of Cats kill, N. Y.. broke the world's record for the greatest number of words In seven continuous hours of typewriting. His to tal was 28,944 words, an average of nearly 68 words a minute. Mayor McClellan, of New Tork, set a lively gait In autograph work by signing his name 37,000 times on a new Issue of city bonds. Mr. Armstrong, Assistant Sec retary of the Treasury at Washington, has signed his name to official documents more than 6000 times a day with a pen. but often he had to resort to massage to keep hla arm in working order. In a contest by Chicago bank clerks- Le moyne S. Hatch proved the adage that practice makes perfect by counting a to tal of 56000 In notes of various denomina tions In the record-breaking time of 21:05 4-5. The total number of postal orders issued by the Government during the last fiscal year passed the 50,000,000 mark for the first time In history, the gross revenue of the business being 33,626,676. Marshall Field shattered all previous records In taxpaying. The Chicago mer chant paid on an assessed property val uation of 340,000,000, which placed him at the head of heavy taxpayers In the United States. The youngest baby In the world to start life with a bank account was Hiram Gold stein, of New York. 320 having been placed to his credit one hour after his birth. Little Miss WIdener. of Philadelphia, re ceived tho handsomest birthday gift; at the age of 3 she received checks for 3500, .000. New York Sun. WHERE NOAH LIVED- Washington Star. X. V. Millard, who now resides in In dianapolis, has been for several years studying tho archaeology of Egypt. For the last year, until his recent return to this country, until his recent return making excavations at various places on the Nile, especially at Glzcb, In the neighborhood of the great Pyramid of Cheops. "I have discovered during the last three years," said Mr. Millard, "Just whore Noah lived, where the. ark was built, and that Noah built the great Pyramid of Khufu, known as the Py ramid of Gizeh. "Noah was 'the greatest King this world has ever seen. He was tho great est of thu Egyptian Pharoahs. not ex cepting Barneses the Great. "Noah was a millionaire. The Bibli cal account of the flood gives no clue as to where he lived or where his ship carpenters were at work for 120 years constructing the ark. ''Noah was 600 years old when the flood came. It Is evident that he must have been a millionaire and a man of great authority. He built the ark at his own expense. Such a boat in those, times would cost more than 3500,000. He must have been In a position to force vast multitudes to work for him, regardless of their Interest In him or In his work, or of their own personal Inclinations. "Noah built the great pyramid dur ing the earlier part of the fourth Egyptian dynasty, and not more than 1200 years after God had expelled Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden. If Noah's size and Intellectual powers were proportioned at his age to durs, then in brain and brawn and stature he, too, must have been a giant." The Soaker's Lament. Corvallls Times. Thia Infernal prohibition Is a sideshow of perdition. Fur It keeps a feller wlshln He could go way back and die. Not a drap has wet me gullet; Not a glass with booze to All ltr Not a chance to even smell it Since the town went dry. Out and in. them doors was swingia, Down the drinks wc wur a-eilnginV And the glasses wuz a-rlngin In them days gone by; But them doors stands het. and winklnr At me as I pass a-thtnktn How embarrassln Is drinkin Since the town went dry. Tes. them doors stands winkin. blinkin. As I pass a-thinkln. thlnkln' Of them good old times of drinkin'. In the days gone by. Oh. my soul is rilln. rilln'-. And the prohl's soul is smllln. Cos the llcker's all a-spilln' Since the town went dry. .Hot Springs to Hatch Chickens. New York Press. To hatch chickens by means of th waters of the hot springs at Glenwood Springs. Colo.. Is the scheme projected by a wealthy Phlladelphlan. He proposes to erect eight Incubators near several un used springs on the south bank of the Grand River and to employ running hot water in place of the lamps which usually supply the necessary heat- The projector ot this plan hopes to hatch out from 5000 to GC00 eggs each month. The Federal Inquisition. Bend Bulletin. It may be asserted with confidence that but for the presence of Theodore Roosevelt at the head of the Government this Investigation would long ago have been "called off" and the sources of In formation dried up by putting ttye more dangerous persons into soft berths of nubile serviea.