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About Morning Oregonian. (Portland, Or.) 1861-1937 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 5, 1905)
1 THE MORNING OREGOyiAN, JHT7BSDA.T. JAJsUA'RY- 5, 1905; lKtere& at the Fpstotfiea at Portland., Or., as second-class .matter. HEVTSED SUBSCRIPTION RATES. ,Br mail (Dostaca nrenald In advance) I Daily, with Sunoay, per month $ .83 Daily, with Sunday executed. Ter year. . 7.50 IDaUy, with Sunday, per year Sunday per year.. - The "Weekly, oer year.- 9.00 2.00 1.50 I The "Weekly, 3 month's 50 Ivauy, per week, delivered, Sunday cepted w Sally. ter weeSi -delivered. Sunday In IS cjuaca . -u POSTAGE1 31 ATES. t United. Statea, Canada and -"Mexico 10 to H-page .paper. ": ' Ic 16 to 30-nflre -naoer 2c S2 to ,44-pago paper. . ........... 3c Fowlsn rates, double. EASTERN BUSINESS OFF&E. The "S". C. 'Beclcwltli Special Acency New T.ork? glooms 43-50. TbunebuIIdlns. Chl axe: Bopznif 10-512 TrJbunV, building. Ike Ortfonlan dpes not "iuy poems or sto ries from Individuals and cannot undertake o retnra any mansscrlpt, B(tit to It without solidUtUDS. No stamps' xhould be Inclosed for this purpose. ' KEPT ON &HGE. Chicago Auditorium Annex; Postorflce News Co., 178 Peaxporn street. Denver Julius Black, Hamilton & Kend rick. 806-912 Seventeenth street, and Frue auff Bros.. 605 lOfh at. Kansas Clty Xo. Rlcksecker Cigar Co.. Ninth and "Walnut' Los Anselea Harry Draplcln. Oakland. CaL-W. M. Johnston. Four teenth and Franklin streets. Xlnneapoli -M.- Kavanaugh, 50 South ' third; I Recelebuper, 217 First avenue tEouth. ijfew York City I. Jones & Co., Astor House. ". Ocdesr F. R. Godard and Myers & Harrop. Omaha Barkalow Broa 1812 Farnam; Uageath Stationery -Co., 1303 Farnam. 1 Salt Xake Salt Lake News Co.. 77 "West j Second South Street. 6aa FranclaceH-J. K. Cooper Co., 740 Mar ket street: Foster & Crear; Ferry News , Stand; Goldsmith Bros., 230 Sutter; L. E. 2 J-ee. Palace Hotel News Stand; F. "W. Pitts. )!Wheatley. S3 Stevenson; Hotel St. Francis flCew Stand. Washington, D. C. Ebbitt House News t Stand. Portland, Thursday, jan. b, i05. ! THE MERCHANT MARINE BIIX. j"The report of the Merchant Marine pommisslon, and the bill which that body has recommended for passage. Is & reflection of the personal views of I the members, and not of actual condl- ! lions as they exist. At every meet ing held by the commission and in nearly every question asked by the i jnembers there was noticeable an eager ij desire, not to learn whether our com- !mrce was suffering from lack of sea going vessels, but to turn up new ex cuses for asking alms for the shipown ers. Taking, Into consideration- this j Jolaeed and narrow view of the ques I tioa, it Is not surprising to read that the cn mips ton makes the extravagant et$min that an adequate American &t 'Mfrould mean the saving to ijtMja. fedjuntry- of 1100,000,000 per year irliete- Joaw goes to build up the com lnwwlt power and naval strength of J Kripe ana Asia. The report also itfA fcsVa.f act that "we have deepened qhxL harbors- at. an expense of many mllltonsjof dollars almost exclusively fr thcToeneflt of foreign steamships." It Is a weak cause, indeed, that needs "bolstering up with such glaring mis statements. It Is estimated that the TJnlted States pays something like 200,000.000 per year freight on exports and imports, but for more than two trears there has been such a large sur plus of tonnage available that compe tition in the ocean carrying trade has toeen fierce and the foreigners- who tarry the business for us have all lost money or had their dividends reduced to microscopic proportions. Instead of 'there being, as intimated, a profit of '$100,000,000 In handling this business (ourselves, an actual loss would have, been entailed. We have not deepened Tir 'harbors for "the benefit of foreign steamships." They have been deepened 5as we havedeepened our Inland rivers, jfor the purpose of facilitating com merce and enabling it to reach the high seas at the smallest possible cost, and it 3s not of the slightest concern to the irailllons of producers supplying tills commerce who carries It, so long as It Is handled cheaper than they can carry It -themselves. The, provision of the bill recommend ed which calls for tho establishment of A naval reserve drawn from theranks t.r the -merchant and fishing fleet is a good one. As the maximum cost of this feature is a, mere bagatelle compared with that of the tonnage bounty and the other .forms of subsidy advised, It was probably thrown In as a -sop to aid in carrying the bill along to final pass age. It Is admitted In the report that the foreigners are enabled to make pwer rates on the high seas on. account Bf having cheaper ships and a lower cost of maintenance, and it Is further charged that they pay more liberal Cbountlcs than the proposed 1)111 provides jror. Accepting this as the truth, it is a. certainty that foreign countries will continue to handle.our business simply ecauee Jhey are in z. position .to .do It eaptr- than we can handle Ifour- Ives., Take Great B.ritaln, for exam trTne .o,ean carrying trade is one her greatest Industries. It has been kers for a thousand years. With no jfeuch opportunities as- the American has for the use of capital in Internal de velopment, England Is forced to seek a Qlvelthood" on the ocean, . and she will vmeet our .subsidies with subsidies .which Ul leave .us jjUH In the. . same relative jjosltlon now held. Germany, France -juid Norway and other "cheap" cdun htries will do the same. It is quite natural that the report ihould criticise the transport service, hlch la handling Government freight r smaller rate than is charged by the ommerclal steamers. This business one offers great opportunity for ex acting money from the Xatlonnl I Treasury, and it is distressing that borne shipping monopoly cannot get ,' hold. Of it and put the rates up to the ion notch. The Ilndinss of th Mor. ijrhant Marine- Commission and the bill Si-ecwnmendod vlll not be disappointing ause they are what was expected. e bill "becomes a law, a movement uld then e started to subsidize the ers who grow the freight and haul o the primary markets. The Gov- ;nent I? "rich, and should be worked the. limit If a limit can be found.. h "We shall see what will become of the )harre tnaae against Mayor Williams by the grand jury. It Is puerile and flimsy: It is a product of a cranky and narrow malice, working- for sensational cts. In regard to any matter of .Umrpr of duty under the law, who llfvo take the judgment of any mcm FlberTthlE grana Jury, or the judgment .($r l!"f them together, against that of ;Geore H. Williams? Here In Oregon Ut 5vKl make no dlfflerence whatever; Irji If Is not a .good story to -be snt because it lull wear a very different aspect abroad from that which It wears at. home. 'Mayor W1H latns. It Is. said," has not enforced 'the law against gambling. He has done his duty as he sees It. Why are there nq Indictments against Sunday saloons and houses of III repute? Has Governor Chamberlain done his duty, or tried to do it, 'for enforcement of the law against destroyers of life and property In the livestock country? Why isn't ha Indicted? 'Some things are absurd, and even grand juries may be very fallible. It is not charged that Judge Williams has used or misused the public service for private ends; yet the whole theory of malfeasance in" of fice rests on the assumption that this has been or will be done. It is well, and even necessary, that the Tanner-Creek sewer should "be Investi gated; and presentment by the grand jury may be the best way of reaching it. But indictment of the Mayor for alleged malfeasance, on ""'the ground that his method of administration or enforcement of the law doesn't suit somebody else's ideas. Is a proceeding peculiar to the present grant Jury. It is not within human probability that there will be another grand jury Jlke It. BEYOND SOLUTION. Professor Triggs, of the Chicago Uni versity, is what Sam Weller would call "a rum un." He solves all great -questions of industry and sociology by methods short,' agreeable and decisive. In a recent address the professor main tained that the true way of settling the labor problem Is "to arrange, that every man shall have the work that he de lights in doing." That would be fine, indeed. A hod carrier on a hot day was tired. With one hand at his back, and with the other dashing the sweat from his face, he was endeavoring .to bring his bent and weary form into an erect position. Just then the bishop was passing by. The bishop greeted him with kindly inquiry as to his health. "I'm well enough, yer rlverence," was the an swer, "but it's mesllf that's tired of packln' the hod. I'd like a good, alsy job. X'd like to he a bishop." When Professor Triggs shall get' it so arranged that everj man shall have the work that he delights In doing it may be feared there will be several kinds of work very necessary work, too that will go undone. And not merely the hodcarrier, the milkman and the Iceman, and the -butcher and the baker and the candlestick-maker, will . be looking for other employments, but the merchant and the professional man and even the bishop will be looking for something he may "delight In doing" with small chance that he will ever find it The "labor problem" Is beyond solution. production of platinum. Platinum 1s worth about as much per ounce as gold. It would be used verv .extensively, were It more abundant; for it can toe applied to a great variety of uses, chiefly in chemistry and elec tricity. The world's production of platinum, as we learn from a new vol ume on "The Mineral Resources of the United States, 1903," published by the United Stajtes Geological Survey, is be tween 160,000 and 170,000 ounces annu ally; the production of this metal in the United States during 1903 was only 110 ounces, worth 52080. Russia produces about 90 per cent of the world's plati num. The little produced in the United States comes mainly from Southern Oregon and Northern California, The book before us shows that in Josephine County. In this heavy mineral called josephlnlte, a nat ural alloy of Iron and gold, Is associ ated with platinum, which, in sufficient quantities, would be commercially val uable. In Wyoming small quantities of platinum have resulted, from treatment of a class of copper ores. Special uses of platinum call for. con siderable Importations of the metal Into the United States. In 1903 the total value -of the imports . was $2,055,933, which were distributed as follows: Un manufactured, 1426 pounds ($328,103); Ingots, bar sheets and wire, 6308 pounds ($1,591,9); vases, retorts and other ap paratus, vessels and parts thereof for chemical uses, $128,890; articles manu factured of platinum, ?6999. The price of pure platinum in wholesale quanti ties at New York continued during the whole of 1903, as during the last seven months of 1902, at $J9 an ounce. GOOD ROADS OUR FIRST XEED. The hackneyed argument of the phil anthropic gentlemen who are seeking to relieve the United States Treasury of many millions for a ship subsidy is that "other nations pay subsidies." It is, of course, specious reasoning which brings about a deduction of this char acter, and the argument in favor of our paying a shipping subsidy because France, for example, pays one, is no more logical than would be the demand that we fix laborers' wages at 50 cents per day because that Is the ruling fig ure In France. Admitting for the mo ment that we must pattern after "other nations" in the disbursement of our own and other people's money, why not select some other foreign method where the people as a whole, and not a few millionaire shipowners, will profit by the expenditure? This Inquiry is suggested by a paper in the last issue of the American Geographical Society's Bulletin urging the necessity of good roads in, the United States. The writer, Mr. Albert P. Brigham, an acknowledged expert on road .mat ters, in his attack on the American system of roads and roadbulldlng, cites the fact that France annually expends on her roads the vast sum of $37,500,000. while diminutive England and Wales spend for the same purposes $20,000,000 per annum. These sums, of course, are not all contributed by the government, but are secured in the provinces and cities where the work. Is done. Just as they should be secured. In this country from the townships, counties and states directly concerned In the Improvement. It would probably be Inexpedient to draw $9,000,000 per year out of the Na tional Treasury for roadbulldlng, al though the ship-subsidy patriots seem to think it proper that they should be given that amount to be divided among a few people, and yet one-half that sum devoted to roadbulldlng would yield to the producers and taxpayers of the country much larger returns than these producers and taxpayers will ever re ceive from ten times the amount in vested In a ship subsidy. Mr. Brigham. in Illustrating the tre mendous economic advantage of good roads, states that the highway experts of Maryland have -estimated that the bad roads In that small state alone cost the people $3,000,000 more In the way of expense in marketing their products than would be necessary If the roads were in good shape. This sum is insignificant in comparison with that for the rest of -the country, for Mr. Brigham estimates that it costs $1,000, .000.000 per annum to haul the products of the United States to market, and of this sum more than one-half Is wasted on account of poor condition of the roads. In . providing facilities for its producers to reach the market with their products France has probably made greater progress than any other country.. 'Throughout that nation Is a network of canals which offer econom ical carriage by water of the products PjC-the "country, and where the canals do not reach remarkably well-constructed roads extend by easy grades to all parts of; the country. All of this roatfbullding- and canal building took place before "France en countered the ship-subsidy graft, and the results obtained from the money spent on the roads have been Inestima bly greater than any that have followed from the subsidies granted the big ship owners. When the road syBtem and the internal waterways of this country reach a ' degree of perfection corre sponding with that obtained In France and other European countries. It will be ample time for consideration of the merits, If there are any, 'in a shipping subsidy scheme. - THE 'MCAYOR AND TE CITY. Through the clamor of his critics and the activity of -censorious .grand juries Mayor Williams calmjy r.eyiewa the achievements -of his administration and pronounces them satisfaptory. "Giving due credit to tja. Council and all 'de partments of the "city.;xovernment, J. will sayt" he- declares, "nt Ihls annual messagf to the Council,- 4,that In,- pro portion to the means at their command more has toeen accomplished for the im provement of Portland within the last two years than In any other city in the country." The Mayor's optimism Is fa mous. It has sustained him through the trials' anl vexations of eighty odd years, and at the last he Is a vigorous testimonial to the efficacy of the cheer ful rule of life that requires one always to do hii best In "the 4est way and then to hope for the beat. We" shall not say that the Mayor Is not justified In his opinion, so far as the material advance ment and, improvement of Portland are concerned. The city is cleaner, better looklnghealthler, and more prosperous than ever. In proof thereof we have but to hark back to conditions two years since and then to recall that during JS03-4 over 141.000 lineal feet of sewers have been laid, more than twice the work of the preceding two years; and in 1904 272,821 lineal feet (51 miles) of artificial sidewalk were put down; and a great number of streets paved, macadamized and ' graded. The steel bridge across Marquam Gulch Is com pleted, the Morrison-street bridge and the Willamette Heights steel bridge are nearly done, and the steel bridge across Marquam Gulch, on First street, under construction. This is great work, making for a greater Portland. The city's needs naturally occupj' some space In the Mayor's message. There are not enough police. There never are. There are not enough fire engines. There never are. There is not enough money for everything. There never is. There ought to be more street lights. The city crematory has something the matter with it, and the garbage system is unsatisfactory. The street-cleaning department Is hampered by lack of funds. The Tanner-Creek sewer is a bad joh, but not so bad as reported. And it would be a fine thing to acquire the Lewis and Clark Fair grounds for a permanent park site. So say we all of us. On the whole, the city Is doing very well, and the Mayor has no apologies and few regrets. IGNORANCE ABOUT PRUNES. The dense ignorance sometimes dis played by instructors occupying posi tions of authority in educational insti tutions is enough to inspire lack of con fidence In almost anything new that issues from such a place. Witness, In this connection, the statement made by Professor E. J. Ladd, of the North Da kota Agricultural Experiment Station, who, because of his supposed ability to give reliable information, was assigned the task of analyzing silver prunes for the purpose of ascertaining whether they are a healthful food as they are found upon the. market. In' the bulle tin prepared by him and published and circulated hy the Experiment Station among the people of North Dakota he says that "silver prunes are simply black prunes picked before they are ripe and treated to a very heavy sul phuring, which changes the color of the skin." What nonsense! Ladd not only shows his Ignorance of silver prunes, but of all other kinds of prunes. "Black prunes picked before they are ripe!" Who ever saw a black prune on a tree, ripe or otherwise? Because Professor Ladd gets black, or nearly black, prunes at the grocery store he imag ines thnt when they are ripe on the trees they are that color, and that If picked and cured before they have turned dark they have the color of the silver prune. As a matter of fact, the prune that Is dark when cured is a rich purple when hanging on the tree ripe for picking, while the silver pruned when ripe. Is a greenish yellow, with a silvery bloom adding to Its beauty. .When cured, the silver prune takes on a darker color and loses Its luster. For the purpose of restoring the original color the prunes are sometimes ex posed to sulphur fumes, but this does not Injure them in any way for food. Professor Ladd makes himself as ri diculous as a memblr of the Oregon Experiment Station would if he should say that the famous "No. 1 hard" wheat of the Red River Valley is soft wheat dried in ovens. But the professor has succeeded in giving the sliver prune a bad reputation without accomplishing any good by It. llARRIMAN'S TEMPORARY DEFEAT. The temporary defeat of Mr. Harrl man in the Northern Securities suit Is a matter for regret. It does not follow from this decision that a higher court will refuse to return to the Harriman Interests the Northern Pacific holdings which they contributed to the "pot" which originally made up Northern Se curities. At the same time the delay in adjusting the differences is seriously retarding a number of very Important railroad enterprises in the Pacific Northwest. So long as the courts hold" that the Harriman Northern Pacific stock is not to be returned to the men who held it prior to the merger, and Mr. Harriman continues to fight, neither side to the controversy will feel Inclined to go ahead with any new feeders to their lines. While Portland would much prefer to have Mr -Harriman win out In his fight. It does' not follow that we will suffer much if he should fall to do so. Our desire that Mr. Harriman should win is prompted by .the fact" thatonce In possession of the Northern -Pacific, the present unnatural diversion -of trade over lofty mountains would cease and'i an increased volume of business would follow the water-level route to sea by way of Portland. But the return of Mr. Hill to possession of the Northern Pacific will be some Improvement over the present unsatisfactory condition of affairs, and may In the end be .more to our advantage than Is now apparent. Had the merger been successful, the entire Northwest would have "been prac tically under the domination of one system, and that systeni would have hauled the traflic to- market by the route following the course of least re slstance. and hauled the products of the Interior to market by the natural water-level route. . - . Portland would not have suffered' by this policy, and it will not suffer now because, there will be two Instead of one big system in the field. This city and the field in which it is impregna ble are "big enough to command the consideration which in - the past has been withheld from lr by the Northern Pacific, and with either Hill or Harri man In the saddle the adjustment of the present difficulty will find Portland receiving nearer her just dues than were accorded us in "the" past, when land-boomers and not railroad men were at the head of railroad manage ment. "Sweeny Is giving pink, teas and car mine dinners to the politicians of the West Side, believing that he Is travel ingj the nearest route o the United States Senate,'' sneers the Tacoma Ledger. The Ledger "is ardently sup porting: Senator Foster for re-election. Foster la back, and will doubtless soon tap his apple bar'l, whereupon the en tire (cider) press of the state will be for him. Sweeny, being new at the business, has given every, member a brand-new corkscrew and. a key to his sideboard. Over In Seattle Piles and his opulent friends continue to excite the envy and admiration of all the bucolic members by -pointing with pride to ele gantly embossed menus of banquets In the ever-glorlous past which they gave to themselves. Meanwhile Mr: Furth pursues his diligent, search for his mis laid checkbook In full view of an Inter ested public, and fears that he will not find It till the Legislature adjourns. There are persons who dream of uni versal peace. There always have been. They would bring the human race down to a condition where there would be nothing to fight for, and nobody to fight for anything; Then, when you have general and complete emascula tion of the human race, the strain of man will have been bred back Into baboon and monkey. In this world man Is a fighter, or he Is nothing. Moral forces at all times come Into play; but no morality, no Ideals, not hacked with arms, can -be worth anything. A story Is told In Herodotus. King Croe sus was showing his stores of gold, of which he was extremely proud. "It is very well," said a visitor, "but some man presently will come with better Iron than yours, and will take all this gold." They who can't fight can't live, except In subordination and subjection. So It has always been; and so It will be always, and forevermore. All precedents have been beaten by the demand for the JCew Year's Orego nian. On Monday a vast edition was printed the presses running all day. But on Tuesday it was found that thou sands more were wanted, and the plates were put on the presses again. And again on Wednesday there was surprise when the supply had been ex hausted, and another very heavy edi tion was run off. If mor are called for It will be necessary to make new plates, as the ones used so far are much worn. The Immense call for this paper Is due to the desire to send It away, as a message of the great Exposition that Is coming. Heavy editions of The Ore gonian have been printed heretofore, tout none that could bear any compari son with this. It' is the greatest adver tisement the Fair could possibly have. Senator Stone, who halls from Mis souri, wants to know whether Tom Lawson told the truth when he charged that H. H. Rogers furnished the Re publican National Committee of 1S96 with $5,000,000, or was It $5,000,000,000? Senator Stone also desires that certain allegations regarding campaign contri butions made by one Alton B. Parker be investigated. This will be water on the wheel of Mr. Lawson, who Is after advertising, and gets it, but there will be some squirming on the part of be late Bsopean statesman. It is tough to be called on to prove things that you just imagined might be so. As Come dian Williams says, "That hain't noth in but Just talk." The proposal of Representative Stei ner. of Klamath, to introduce in the Legislature a bill to make counties and municipalities responsible in damages for destruction of property within their borders, by lawlessness and mob vio lence, is just the remedy against the work of sheepklllers; for It will make the taxpayers of a county Interest themselves In preventing such outrages and in bringing the perpetrators to jus tice. It would also make a city liable In damages for destruction of property by a mob, which would be righteous, too. Such law exists In many' states. It puts the taxpayers under bonds to keep mobs down. Colombia is not without men of brains. Men prominent among the host of Generals and likely to attract a fol lowing in the revolution that appears to be probable are being packed oft to various embassies or legations. There they have no chance to foment trouble at home, and self-interest dictates that they use their influence to keep in office the men that mall their pay-checks. Among other things that we may feel good over at the beginning of this Happy New Tear Is the glowing pros pect that this year's ball team win be no worse than last year's. Malfeasance in office In Its essence means the prostitution or public office for private profit or benefit. WTio will pretend that Mayor Williams has done such a thing? The spectacle of Mayor Williams be hind the bars Is, offered to us by an Imaginative and sensation-loving grand jury; but somehow the public refuses to accept the picture. It is not of record that Gumshoe Bill Stone, of Missouri, ever lost sleep over the corrupt practices of Boss Butler at St. Louis. It may now probably occur to. the Czar that there Is room on the Baltic for the Baltic fleet. NOTE AND COMMENT.. No one would expect to find thfTgenile editor of the Critic domg the splits, yet In the January number we discover Miss GHdls saying: "Mr. and Mrs. Aldrlch came on from Boston to again see Miss Nance O'Nell In the poet's drama." This from the elegant Lounger Is surprising. As Senator Foster has no barrel, of course his followers can't whoop It up". If the rage for hotel bathrooms in creases." we' shall soon see-' landiord3 give up advertising "room with' bath" in favor of "bath with room." Ashland has a barber shop for ladies, according to an. exchange. "Shave or haircut, ma'am?" A St. Loula critic asks;- ."Since you .can always foresee the denoument of any play at the -end of the second act, why not end It there?" As If the public would endure such excision! The child wants to hear, at the end of lis fairy tale, that "they were married and lived happily ever after." and the public wants to see with its own eyes the villain foiled - the mortgage on the old homestead raised, and the hfgh-heeled and low skirted' Ingenue united In the bonds of hojy matrimony with the brave village boy In pumps and a fur cap. Our firm conviction Is that If Stockton had ever appeared among a crowd just after "The Lady or the Tiger" had been read, he would have been lynched Immediately. The public must have finality In fiction and on the stage, especially on. the stage. Ever see a man try to keep from smil ing as a plump, well-cooked duck Is placed 'on the table before him? No mat ter how much he may try to frown, his face Is certain to break Into a smile like an overboiled potato. A Pacific Coast girl "has been distin guishing herself. In New York. Annoyed by a "masher," she tripped him up and sent him sprawling in the mud by means of a trick she had learned at school In San Francisco. The Incident says much for our Western girls and for co-education. Many deeds of heroism have been re ported, from Port Arthur. but there Is one that outshines all the rest. When a Japanese envoy approached the fort a"' month ago he was met by a Russian of ficer, who signified by every' means In his power that Port Arthur was doing very nicely, thank you, and that its de fenders had all the luxuries of life, to say nothing of the necessities. To carry out his deception, this officer produced the lost bottle of beer in the city and carelessly gave it to the Japanese to drink. Think of that! The very last bot tle of beer sacrificed for the credit of the fortress! Is there a more pathetic story of heroic self-sacrifice In history? We trow not. Some think that It's simply a frfght The way the rrand Jurors Indlght. But they hope, don't you know. That the eequel will show Their bark to be worse than their bicht. All will bo well If Lawson will only stay subsided. Governor Pennypacker is after the newspapors again. 'He always will be, for It's a cinch he'll never get ahead of them. What's the good of boln on the Canal Commission If you've got to spend your time worrying about the canal? The New York Tribune illustrates the use of a new word that Is one of the most expressive lately added to the lan guage. A woman Is hiring a girl, and all goes well until the girl catches sight of the dining table: "Do you your own tretchln?" she demand ed. "Do we do our own whatf aaked the puzzled mlstrcis. "Stretchln," repeated the new girl. "I don't understand." "Stretchln'." repeated the girl tor a fecond time. "Do you put all the stuff on the table at mealtime and stretch for It, or do I have to shuttle It around?" Stretching in this sense deserves a per manent place-'in the language. Fifty flash-light photographers alarmed Mrs. Chadwick on one occasion in New York, and proved a formidable corps of allies to the reporters. It Is not unlikely that a new force may be added to these barriers of the notorious, for the New York Sun tells of an enterprising slot machine man who recently hung out a sign, "Hear Nan Patterson's Denial," and had his place swamped with eager patrons. The famous prisoner of the future will be confronted by. an Infantry battalion of reporters and serried ranks of camera and phonograph men, and such a prospect should be enough to keep many hesitating brothers and sisters on the straight path. A company which Ii seeking a conceal Ion at the Portland Exposition has a scheme tor transmitting music through pipes. The Idea la that a good orchestra Is placed In a central station from, which radiate pipes, fitted with the inventor's patent device, eo that the sub acriber has .but to turn a faucet to hear the sweet strains of the players. Should this Inven tion prove a success It will add one more comfort to the home, for, as easily aa turning on the gas; the consumer may fill his house to overflowing with beautiful symphonies, and when he tires of it he can as easily turn It oft or blow It out. Four-Track News. A new field of labor will also be opened to thcplumber. When a bursting music pipe floods the house with melody that Industrious workman will be In requisi tion again. In a petition for divorce. Dr. D. Rose, of Chicago, swears that one morning at the creepy hour of 1, his wife rapped on the door of his room and "("in an angry and vicious way") cried to him. "You are wanted in hell. Put on your asbestos suit." It must seem to the distant ob server that It would be worth while to endure the anger of a woman with such a vivid vocabulary. A reporter who had heard that Senator Fairbanks. VIce-PrcsIdent-clect, was dead, pulled him out of bed at 2 o'clock In the morning to find oot. From the answer he got. he concluded that the Vice-President-elect was not dead. ' WEX J. Woman's Way. Clevoland Plain Dealer. Some presumably cultured woman of Boston has sent Nan Patterson a touching letter. Up to the present time, however, there do not appear to have been any letters 6t sympathy sent to the widow of the man the Pat terson girl is accused of slaying. Feminine sympathy Is often a queer and quite unaccountable quality. Found The Democratic Party. Philadelphia Inquirer. The Democratic party has been found. It Is located In Boston, where it elected 12 out of 13" aldermen on Tuesday. PASSING OF THEODORE THOmA Jtfetkeds of America's Greatest Orchestral Conductor Hpvr He la ay Ired CettSdettce Asms Hla Players- dblcago'a $?5etM9 Temple o 3Iuic. News of the death of Theodore Thomas will be received with genuine regret throughout the whole Nation. For "20 years past he has done more than any one to inspire love of good music, of the good old school and the hew. In the' American people. He was a leader In every sense m this good work. The c6nfldence and affection which this man inspired have been proved In the, eyes Of. the world. Of him It Is truly said that hls' works do follow him. . Ih the sphere of music pure and simple his name will takeMts place in three catalogues: In his younger days as a violin virtuoso in the first elass; as a completely trained musician, especially in orchestra work, and in the adaptation and arrangement of music .for the orchestra; and as a conductor'Vhose place at the head of the Chicago -Orchestra It will be very hard to fill. But there have been other musicians and conductors, of probably equal force. The work and the charac ter of Theodore Thomas was so Inspir ing and commanded such Individual, personal' respect that to carry on that work his .Chicago supporters were con tent, year by year, to pay large sums to filt the deficit on the Auditorium or chestral season expenses. More than that, when the time came to elect either to perpetuate or to allow the concerts to cease, Chicago rose to the need of the hour and. by contributions from all classes of her citizens, who loved the man and his life work, raised in short time the splendid fund of $750, 000 that the Thomas Orchestra might be beautifully housed, permanently pro vided for, and that the city should not lose the influences of the noble art of music as he understood and upheld it through the coming years. Had Theodore Thomas lived till Oc tober nex"t he would have fulfilled his 70 years. He was born at Essen. In Hanover, and came with his father to the United States in IS 4 5. He was an "Infant prodigy" on the violin, and gave concerts almost from his arrival In this country. In 1851 he made his first tour through the Southern states. In 1861 he withdrew permanently from the theater. From 1853 to 1869 he played with the well-known quartet, in which Will if. Mason took part arid which he describes in his "Memories of a Musical Life." The talent of THE HAZING SPIRIT. Xew York Globe. Whatever may be the opinion of faculty or outside world the young men of Co lumbia's sophomore 'class are firmly con vinced that to attempt to catch .a fresh man Is not a punishable offense. 'From time Immcmorjal colloglans have made laws for themselves. They have evolved a code of conduct of many queer quirks and turns. A freshman has few rights which a sophomore Is bound to respect. This rule Is established, we are told, not for the satisfaction of the sophomore, but for tho benefit of the freshman as the only way to reduce that swollenness of head with which so many young men come to college; as the only way to In duce that meekness and docility .which 13' an ornament to youth and the beginning of wisdom. A freshman's, privileges when he Is set upon are rigidly defined. He Is permitted, without dishonor, to use his legs to their utmost speed. Any cleverness he may show In dodging or avoiding his pur suers Is to his credit. If he Is cornered. In the name of fair play.he may call for an even chance and ask that a boy of his own weight may, be sent against him. But he may not, under penalty of ostra cism and Imputation of sandlessr.ess. draw a weapon or defend, hfmaelf in an unusual way. However silly such rules may be, and no matter how often they have been a mere cloak for brutality, gen erations of college men have been edu cated under them. Every matriculant is assumed to be a member of a conspiracy against the police power of the faculty, the students' natural enemy. The tell tale's fate is his who by unseemly resist ance or outcry attracts its. attention. The undergraduate sin of sins Is to act the baby. It is deemed nobler to grlrt and bear It than to secure escape, in irregular ways. Few things have -been more roundly condemncd than hazing.- The cowardice and meanness of a dozen attacking one have been pointed out countless times. The most drastic regulations have been adopted to suppress its practice. Yet as often as the recurring Fall brings In a new crop of students its spirit Is mani fest. The wise faculty seeks to dodge direct collision with it and cultivates as far as possible a profound Ignorance. The experienced educator comes to know that the young, except by the most adroit and roundabout methods, are not to be made over. Yet there is no good reason, nor any kind of reason, why one should submit to indignities which his tormentors are Intending to Inflict. One of these days a young man, driven . into tL corner, will kill a half dozen of the vulvar, torment ing scrubs who pursue him with the ap plause of the whole people of the United States. THE COLORADO CONTEST. View. of the Supporters of Governor Peabody. Denver Republican. James H. Peabody must receive the certificate of election as Governor simply and solely because he was fairly elected to that office on November S. The frauds committed by the Demo cratic machine -In Denver offset al most twice over the apparent plurality for Alva Adams as shown by the face of the returns, and the Legislature is bound both morally and legally to as sume official cognizance of this fact In canvassing the vote for executive officers of the state and determining tho results of the election. Thi3 will work justice to Governor Peabody and no wrong to Alva Adams. Mr. Peabody will simply be given tho certificate in accordance -with the de cree of the .honest people of Colorado as expressed rat the polls, and Mr. Adams can cuntcstvthe election and then have every ballot-box in the state reopened if be wants to do so. No matter what decision might be reached by the Legislature In joint session the defeated candidate for Gov ernor would have a right to bring' a contest which would be determined by a majority vote of the joint assembly. The safe, right, sane thing to do Is to give Governor Peabody the seat, let ting his opponent bring the contest and we confidently believe that the Legislature will favor this wise and Just course by a majority of two to one. . Friend of the Dear People. Springfield (Jlassll, Union. "The Issue Is pledged." says Mr. Law son, "and the fight is on between the people and the plutocrats." Mr. Law son, with his millions; Is not a pluto crat. Oh, dear, no. He Is one of the dear people, their servant and E-ery-body's friend. Yet Probably She Was Right. New York Sun. An angry woman, after beating her husband and knocking him down at Broadway and" Thirty-third street- yes terday, denounced him as. a "brute.' Another example of feminine Iogic Thomas as a conductor of orchestra became public in- 1864 when 'he began the series of symphony Concerts at Irving's Hall. New York, which lasted for Ave seasons. Before he loft New York. In 1878, the Steinway Hall Or chestra numbered 80 players. In 1S60 he took an orchestra of bctween-40? and 60 performers on tour through the Eastern and Western states. The"c6m ments of that time deal with the Catho lic nature of his programmes, as he produced- many examples of the new school, but never forgot the best clas sical examples of the old masters.- As art arranger of programmes he was, through his whole musical life, unrivaled. They ranged from grave to gay. from lively to severe. If a new musical star rose above the European horizon Thomas took special pride lit bringing him before his -appreciative audiences In this country. The last years of his Hfo hayo con nected Theodore Thomas with the Chi cago Orchestra and Its wonderful Audi torium concerts. Wonderful they were. At the mixed concerts the huge hall was fairly well filled; at the Beethoven. Mozart and Wagner, nights filled full to the top galleries. The orchestra of abdut 117 performers on a big night was grouped under a shell built on the stage, the conductor's stand, of course, the center of all eyes. Prompt to the moment the stalwart, gray-haired con ductor appeared, took his place, and In the absolute stillness, with no iuss or feathers, the concert had begun. In rehearsals Thomas Is said to have been not only strict, but severe a terror to the player guilty of even a,momentary lapse. In the public performance he was calm, steady, dominant. Certain tricks and gestures were familiar to both performers and audience. The right hand with the baton defined the tempo, the left hand, raised on lowered, opened broadly, or pointing, seemed to evoke the delicious strength or shading on which the grace of tho whole performance hung. .To. the solo performers his attitude was always courteous and most appre ciative. No wonder ho seemed to be the court of appeal rather than the audience Itself, by whose judgment success or failure was decreed. A great personality has passed away In the early days of the new. year. TWENTY-0XE CENTS A DAY; Brooklyn E..gle. Here's another of 'em. He was onto' a janitor and scrubman, but he left $159,000 and he left $9?,000 of it to Boston to ad vance learning and patriotism In . that most learned, and patriotic center. He had been a druggist, but that sort bf thing did not appeal to him, -so he re tired and amused his leisure by stoking furnaces, running elevators and cleaning halls and windows. He lived on 21 cents a day. and that Is why he had money when he died and could not use It. There are several kinds of a lesson In this, and nobody, to speak of, will heed It. By saving all he earns one can amass money which will be a Joy to the whole community, and If he goes hungry, secdy and suffering the spurns of his acquaint ances, he -wllPat least haye'the consola tion of knowing that as soon as "he. Is dead he will be praised, especially by hl3 tenth cousins and the lawyers, who will put those devoted relatives up to contest ing the wllL Also, there is the lesson that' with money to spend it is still possible for the expert to sustain life on 21 cents. For that sum .one buys radishes and break fast food, and water does not cost any thing; .while the experimentalist could save a cent, from timo to time, until he had 3 cents, when .he could buy a glass of beer and batten on the free lunch, thus obtaining a change of diet. So. why spend on a meal when for less than the tip one can sustain himself all day ind arise from the table with a clear- con science and a brain that will work. To be sure, there Is the other lesson which heartless materialists will read, of the absurdity of working to obtain funds that will be of no earthly, but only heavenly, use to the accumulator, for Instead of working he might be having no end of fun and advantage by going fishing, tak ing tramps', playing golf or visiting his uncles In the country- Yet It must be a great moral consolation to know that ona Is storing up pleasures for others in denying them to himself, and one needs a consolation like that when he has to live on 21 cents. Politeness Pays. Washington Times. Suddenly the man fell. He was a dignified person, but as he reached a sleety corner his feet, set down with precision, failed to stay set. They flew so high, and the result was so abrupt, that as the man hit the walk in sit ting posture observers expected vo seo a spine protrude from the top of his bat. Two youths had seen the episode. One was a bad youth, and unwise H laughed. The other was a good youth, who knew a thing or two. He hastened to pick up the fallen man. "Thank you." said the man. "I am a childless millionaire, looking for an heir. You're it- Meantime take this roll and blow yourself. Only one condition is attached. Don't spend a cent on that laughing jackass who is with you." Handing over a $10,000 bundlet and giving his hotel address, the man went his way. The moral of this is so obvious that the reader unable to discern it isn't worth "bothering- about. A School for "Sangfroid." London Chronicle. M. Marcel Prevost wants to start a school of "sangfroid" in France. Most people, he says, are too timid. In a sudden emergency they have not the courage of the man who said that when a revolver is pointed at you it is less likely to be fired if you rush upon It than if you turn your back. M. Pre vost would have this philosophy taught by regular professors of nerve, who would set exercises to the pupils. For example, when you receive- a letter you have been impatiently waiting for, don't open it at once. Smoke a' cigar ette slowly, or glance through the thrilling pages of Bradshaw. But If "Frenchmen are to practice this rule, what will become of the Latin -temperament? They will grow- as phleg matic as the English. What Father Did. New York Times. Employed In the family of the late General William G. Ward, of Grymej: Hill. Staten Island, there was an Eng lish housemaid, who was questioned as to what her father's occupation waa "O. father 4ust sits." -What do you mean- by that?" "Well, you sec. ma'am, father's-just tho living Image" or Mr. Gladstone, ami when th. artl-Us wants to paint a pic ture of Mr. Gladstone they sends for father, and he iuit sits." Extraordinary Hand at Whf3t. . London Dally MaiL A. wonderful hand at whist was played at the St. Paul'3 Institute, Grimsby, yesterday. The cards were shuffled and dealt in the usual way, but when the players loked at their hands they found that one of them (the dealer) had 12 spades", another 11 hearts, the third man 12 diamonds, and the fourth 11 clubs. Spades were trumps, and the lucky dealer simply threw In his hand and claimed' the 12 tricks.