THE MOBNEJG OEEGOMAN, THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 24, 190.
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PORTLAND, THURSDAY, NOV. 24, 1004.
IN MASSACHUSETTS.
Thomas W. Lawson, frenzied litera
teur and fantastic financier, continues
to tell his story of "Amalgamated" in
the same way Mark Twain ascended
Mount Vesuvius by laboriously and
conscientiously describing in his pros
pectus a trip he did not make. Mr.
Xiawson makes a new excursion, in his
last installment, to the abode of the
sacred codfish, and describes with
great wealth of detail and startling
incident the misdeeds of the Massachu
setts Legislature. It is shocking to
hear that under the dome of the temple
of Puritanism there is bribery of the
most open and unblushing sort brib
ery in wholesale, bribery in retail, brib
ery In high place and in low. The cor
rupt use of money is, we are told, the
staple method of Mr. Henry M. Whit
ney, who has bought franchises and
other legislative privileges outright, and
to that end had organized and main
tained a most ingenious and elaborate
system under the immediate charge of
his paid lieutenants. Mr. Lawson loud
ly calls for a Folk or some other Alex
ander of reform seeking new planets to
conquer to hurry to Boston, where, he
says, he may "expose to the world a
condition of rottenness .more rotten
than was ever before exhibited in any
community In- the civilized -world.". If
we have had occasion to complain here
tofore that Mr. Lawson has confined
himself almost wholly to sounding his
stage thunder, while his audience wait
ed in vain for real action in his "Amal
gamated" drama, or tragedy, or com-,
edy, or farce (we do not know yet
which It Is), it must be admitted that
In this belated curtain-raiser the hys
terical author has dropped reverberat
ing generalities and made himself spe
cific and certain.
"We have long been accustomed to
stories and charges of legislative brib
erybut not from Massachusetts. "We
have been told that United States Sen
ators were elected in Delaware, "Wis
consin, Montana and throughout the
"West by the use of money but never
in Massachusetts. There the staid and
honest yeoman who makes up the bone
and sinew of a pure state government
summoned Cincinnatus Hoar from the
plow, or Herodotus Lodge from his
study, and, placing upon his brow the
laurel wreath of the common people's
favor, then on bended knee besought
him to go to Washington and take
his place among the reverend Sena
tors as representative of thev Puri
tan commonwealth of Massachusetts.
That's the picture in our mind's eye.
Lawson does not say the Senatorshlp
was ever bought. He says nothing
about It at all. Undoubtedly It was
not bought. But the marvel is, from
his circumstantial description, that the
average Massachusetts legislator ever
did anything for anybody, except for
money. The presumption Is that here
was an unprofitable business the elec
tlon of Senators that should be dis
patched as speedily as possible, so that
the Legislature could devote Itself to
more productive matters.
We cannot pretend to know the exact
truth about the Lawson indictment of
Massachusetts. But that It should be
answered by Mr. Henry M. Whitney,
or by the Legislature Itself, or by the
new Democratic Governor, goes without
saying. Boston is the chief seat of all
the superior virtues. We know, be
cause Boston has never left us in doubt
about it. But it cannot be so far lost
In admiration of its own beautiful qual
itles that It can afford to Ignore the
public animadversions of one of its
best-known citizens, sensationalist and
notoriety-hunter though he may be In
other states It may be different. Lin
coin Steffens may Inform us of the
wickedness. pf Wisconsin, and of the
low civic status of Minneapolis, St.
Louis, Pittsburg, Philadelphia and
others; and we grow a little sad, and
forget it. Ida Tarbell may impeach the
Standard Oil Trust for various high
crimes and misdemeanors; and we are
wearied and lay down the book before
the end of the chapter. Walter Well
man and Ray Stannard Baker may
convict trades-unions of Inciting an
archy and promoting revolution in
Colorado; and we observe with only a
faint show of Interest that Peabody is
beaten lor Governor and Adams elect
ed. But Massachusetts ah, that was
a body blow. We shall not soon get
over it. We await breathlessly for
Massachusetts to speak.
With the session of the Oregon Leg
islature six weess and four days dis
tant, It behooves those who aspire to
the Presidency or the Speakership or
.committee places to get busy; Indeed.
they are doing just that Henceforward
it's to be a competition to get in on
fe "srwtaA fleer." To race may no,
be to the swift nor the battle to the
strong-, but the good things are to them
that pick the winners. Gentlemen, the
winners are to be either Dr. W. Kuy
kendall, E. V. Carter, George C. Brow
nell. C. W. Hodson, Dan J. Malarkey, F.
P. Mays or John Xu Rand, and T. B.
Kay, A. A. Bailey, W. I. "Vawter, or
somebody else; therefore, gentlemen,
make sure of the good things for your
self Still, if you fall, you may win a
place on the committee on Federal re
lations or Indian affairs.
ONE IMPORTANT STEP TAKEN.
' The special Council committee holds
City Engineer Elliott directly responsi
ble for the faulty and careless con
struction of the Tanner-Creek sewer;
implicates Assistant Engineer Scoggin
with him; declares Inspector Caywood
"Incompetent and unreliable"; pro
nounces the Contractors Riner "dishon
est"; and endeavors to save expense to
the taxpayer by withholding so much
of the moneys due the jobbing contract
ors as will rebuild the sewer. The com
mittee pursued, its investigation with
commendable activity and unquestion
able determination to arrive at the
facts. The damning evidence of the
rotten sewer itself was a plain founda
tion to build on; and the City Engineer
was in no Important particular able to
explain away the unanimous and in
escapable finding of the four experts.
In one conspicuous instance where he
undertook to contradict the experts as
to the length of the old and new sew
ers, and the apportionment of payment
therefor it was clearly shown that he
did not know what he was talking
about. The committee " hesitates to
charge positive collusion between the
City Engineer's Department and the
contractors; but that Is what it comes
to, just the same. If the City Engineer
and his assistant were ignorant of what
was going on, they should be Impeached
for sheer incompetency; if they, or
either of them, did know, they should
not only be dismissed from office, but
they should be indicted by the grand
jury for criminal conspiracy to defraud
the taxpayers. This man Walter
Thomas, who gave such astounding
testimony as to the nature of his em
ployment and the dirty character of his
work, should, not be let go until it shall
have been ascertained whether he is a
thrifty sneak or a colossal liar, or both
The whole truth about the contract
ors' pool, the method of its operations
and the nature of Its relations with the
Engineer's Department should be ex
posed if possible.
The City of Portland has undertaken
through the City Engineer a number of
Important and costly public works.
The public is just now in a humor to
flndBut the history of every transac
tion, proposed or consummated, In
which the City Engineer has, or has had, a
voice. What about specifications?
What about original estimates, and
how are they made? What about extra
work? What about inspection? What
about contracts to favored bidders?
What about unnecessary and unac
countable delays in beginning or com
pleting work? What about farming out
a contract to one person that he may
peddle it to another at an advanced
figure? What about every phase of this
business of building sewers, or streets,
or bridges for the city? The taxpayer
has justly had his suspicions aroused
and he proposes, if he can, to stop fraud
and theft and criminal work and place
things on an honest basis.
UNIVERSAL CAR, SHORTAGE.
The car snortage in -the Pacific North
west is causing wheatbuyers consider
able anxiety, and the railroads are
coming In for a full share of the ad
verse criticism that is being made over
the inability of shippers to secure facil
ities for moving their freght. Railroads
in the Far West have always claimed
and been allowed a certain exemption
from censure In these emergencies on
account of conditions which are vastly
different from those of the older-settled
portions of the United States. In Ore
gon, Washington and Idaho the princi
pal business of the roads is the haul
Ing of grain to market, and it is an ex
ceptlonal year when this business is not
handled with a fair degree of satlsfac
tlon. The roads serving the territory
usually have available a sufficient num
ber of cars to move the wheat to mar
ket without causing loss through delay.
The maximum haul from this terrl
tory to market has in former years
"been about 450 miles, and, for the bulk
of the crop, less than 300 miles. This
year, owing to abnormal conditions
elsewhere in the world, it is Impossible
to market this wheat to advantage
at tidewater ports on the Pacific, and
the railroads are forced to haul it from
2000 to 2700 miles In order to land it at
the best markets. Under such condi
tlons the car which formerly hauled its
load to tidewater and was back in the
interior ready for another load within
five or six days is now in use for five or
six weeks hauling one load to the East
ern markets. It Is not an unhealthy
sign when a country has produced so
much traffic that the railroads are un
able to handle it, and in this respect
a great many other localities in the
United States are experiencing the
same trouble that is now confronting
wheatgrowers and dealers in Oregon
and Washington.
It is somewhat remarkable to learn
that such an old and thoroughly organ
ized railroad as the Lehigh Valley sys
tern, with its immense equipment. Is
unable to handle the business offering.
Yet a prominent Lehigh official who
has Just returned to New York from
Buffalo, where he has been endeavor
ing to straighten out a car-shortage
tangle. Is quoted by the New York
Journal of Commerce as follows:
We are willing- to frankly admit our In'
ability to supply a sufficient number of cars
to meet the farmers' needs, but we to
eether with the other railroads which trav
erse the territory are doing our best to get
as large a proportion of the crops to mar
ket as possible and at the same time take
care of our regular traffic As things now
stand it will be Impossible for the railroads
to movo the entire crop of apples, grapes and
other more or less perishable produce, and
the farmers stand to lose to that extent.
Similar conditions are reported on the
Delaware, Lackawanna &. Western,
New York Central and the Central
Railroad of New Jersey. Some of this,
car shortage in the East is traced to
the demands of the Far West for equip
ment for moving wheat East, but when
the immense -volume of business han
died by the big Eastern trunk lines is
considered, this Western traffic from
the Pacific Coast seems Inconsequential
in comparison. This congested traffic
situation is, of course, certain to entail
heavy loss on some shippers, but the
conditions which have brought it about
on the whole offer reasons for congrat
ulation. There Is an immense move
ment of iron and steel products,, not
only to the seaboard on both coasts.
but to all parts of the United States.
The purchase of this material for rail
roads, bridges, business blocks and
other purposes reflects a general pros
perity in the country. To pay for this
there is an immense corn crop now
moving to market, and the crop of other
grains and agricultural products is suf
ficiently heavy with the aid of present
high prices to make the purchasing
power of the people greater than ever
before.
For the good of all concerned, it is to
be hoped that this pleasing condition
of affairs will continue until the rail
roads -will feel Justified In increasing
their equipment and general facilities
to an extent that will enable them to
meet future demands more satisfactor
ily than they are able to meet the .pres
ent emergency.
WOMEN IN WAR DISPATCHES.
Now that Oyama and Kuropatkin are
watching each other in the manner of
two gamecocks after the first exhaust
ing flights, the ornamental supers upon
the stage of war receive some recogni
tion. The great public cares nothing
for the dull details of organization and
of planning even If the censor would
allow such details to reach the wires
and in default of the "greatest battles
in history" the purveyors of war news
must find some minor-details that will
interest their customers. Need It be
said that their obvious recourse Is
woman? Since Adam lost his rib man
kind' has had a lively interest in the
creature fashioned therefrom, and, as
some one has remarked, as long as
woman remains upon the earth there
will always be something new to be
said about her.
In war woman is a rare enough' ap
parition to add novelty to the perennial
Interest she excites, and the strange
ness of the setting further enhances her
attraction for the public that has to
bear none of the worry that her pres
ence is sure to bring upon the combat
ants. Consequently when the serious
work of the campaign affords no news,
the experienced correspondent digs up a
story about a woman at the front. We
may be Bure that Moll Pitcher's brav
ery in overcoming the repugnance of
her sex for the bang of cannon was the
subject of little comment while there
were stirring gains or losses to report.
and that the lady's name is more fa
miliar to the Daughters of the Amer
ican Revolution than it ever was to the
wives of the same movement. Indeed,
with the exception of Joan of Arc, no
woman's name seems to have sounded
over the din of fighting, although many
have been heard when the battle
lulled.
In the war that is now going on sev
eral women have been "mentioned in
dispatches." In the lulls of the fight
ing we have heard something of the
daring woman who rides at the head of
a squadron of Cossacks. Unfortunately
for the full effect of this story, the Cos
sack has lost much of his old prestige
since he tackled the little brown Japs
on their little shaggy ponies. Before
this war broke out there was magic in
the phrase "a Cossack of the Don," and
there were visions of the bearded horse
men sweeping entire regiments oft the
face of the earth. Now the Cossack has
so sunk in the popular estimation that
the dashing woman who wears all his
accoutrements, except the beard, ' has
not been received with the favor that
her sponsor expected. Then there was
the woman who did so much to ani
mate the defenders of Port Arthur. Sad
to say, she, too, has fallen upon evil
days. With long-range guns and sneak
Ing trenches, she was not able to ap
pear upon the battlements and bid the
foe defiance, as all the ladles of old'
time were accustomed to do when their
castles were besieged. With the pass
ing of the spectacular from war the
modern woman amazon Is placed at a
serious disadvantage. In just one field,
and that not exactly amazonlan, does
she hold her own. The Red Cross offers
opportunities for romances, as well
stage-managed as Eleanor's sucking of
the poison from her consort's arm. So
It comes that while Oyama and Kuro
patkin eye each other In the north, we
have a Russian nurse allowing herself
to be captured by bandits so that she
may find the young officer with whom
she fell in love while saving his life.
Of course, It is a roundabout way of
finding a man in Japan to .be captured
by outlaws, but It adds greatly to the
possibilities of the story. Now if the
public Is provided with a beautiful Rus
slan woman of noble birth acting as a
spy, the tally will be complete before
the lull in the fighting comes to an end.
FARMERS AND GOOD ROADS.
If there is one class of people who
above all others should Intelligently
and persistently Indorse the movement
for good roads, it is the agricultural
class. That farmers are not blind to
thi3 fact Is In evidence In the report
submitted by the commlttte on high
ways of the National Grange, now In
session In this city. Preliminary to the
indorsement of a bill which asks Con
gress to appropriate a large sum for
road construction throughout the coun
try, it is declared that "impassable
roads, during considerable periods each
year, are yokefellows with the spin
nlng-wheel, the sickle and the oxcart.'
No one will take issue with the sent!
ment implied In this statement. Im
passable roads have long been in dis
grace with the spirit that dominates
growth and keeps a good, long step in
advance of improvement. That they
still are found throughout the length
and breadth of the land is without ex
cuse at least as far as the more thick
ly-settled and thoroughly cultivated
portions of the country are concerned,
They are wasteful to a degree that
farmers can 111 afford; they are the
dread of rural life, and the edict of Its
isolation during the Winter months.
All of these things are readily con
ceded. All do not agree, however, that
the remedy lies In an act of Congress
carrying with It a large appropriation
for roadbulldlng. Many are of The
opinion that the 'remedy lies closer than
that, and that the principle of self-help
should be applied to road construction
not In the go-as-you-please manner
with which we are all too familiar, but
according to carefully planned methods
systematically carried out In each and
every section where there Is a demand
for good roads, backed by agricultural
prosperity and necessity.
Multnomah County has done some
roadbulldlng on its own account In re
cent years, and the result is that it has
many miles of roads that can be trav
eled in comfort at all seasons of the
year. The methods by which these
roads have been built have not been
in the long run more expensive than
were the go-as-you-please methods of
the Road Supervisors of a past era.
There are stretches of good roads in
other Oregon counties notably Jn Mar
Ion and Clackamas that illustrate fur
ther the possibility of good roadbulldlng
without Federal appropriation. The
plan proposed Toy the Curry tUL which
is indorsed by the National Grange,
has, however, a contingency of self-
help. Each state, county or town re
ceiving aid from the National Govern
ment must add to the amount received
like sum before the paternal allow
ance can be made avaiiaoie. This
makes It incumbent upon the people to
do something If they would come In as
beneficiaries of the bill. They should
do something without this incentive.
Self-Jnterest than which there is noth
ing more forceful Is at stake. It was
through Intelligent self-Interest that
the sickle gave place to the harvester's
cradle, the flail to the threshing ma
chine, and both in turn as the years
ent on to other implements up to the
great "combined" that makes 'short
work of harvesting throughout the
great wheat belt. Enterprise combined
Its forces and the demand for improved
farming machinery was met. The hand
loom and the spinning-wheel were sup
planted by like forces which found ex
pression In factories: the oxcart was too
slow and It was superseded not by act
of Congress, but by Individual and cor
porate enterprise.
If roads through wealthy farming sec
tions are impassable for a considerable
period each year, the remedy lies with
those whose Interest It Is to have good
roads. It is a slow and difficult process
to get a bill for a public utility through
Congress. Let our friends the Grangers
urge the passage of the Curry bill If
they will, but In the meantime it will
be well, If they wish to realize the
blessings of highways over which it is
pleasure to travel at any season of
the year, for them to urge upon farm
ers as a matter of economy in time. In
horseflesh and In vehicles, the wisdom
of roadbulldlng upon their own account.
Farmers need good roads; they want
good roads; they ought to have good
roads. Let us hope that they will find
and take the shortest and
most certain
way to get them.
Another good, fast coasting steamer
has been placed on the Portland and
San Francisco route, giving the oppo-
tlon lines about three regular steamers
to every one operated by the Harrlman
system. Mr. Schwerln, who has charge
of the coasting as well as the' Oriental
steamers out of this port. Is undoubt
edly carrying out a plan of his own.
He has driven so much freight from
Portland to Puget Sound t.hat this port
will receive credit for but little more
than half of the flour shipments to
which we are entitled, and he has inci
dentally Incurred the enmity of a num
ber of fajrly heavy shippers, who will
do what they can to divert freight, to
Puget Sound. With this freight di
verted to the Puget Sound lines, the
P6rtland & Asiatic will soon be enjoy
ing a protracted period of light cargoes,
while on the Coast route the outside
steamers will continue their inroads on
the O. R. & N. business. This will of
fer Mr. Schwerln an argument for still
further reducing the service. As mat
ters are now drifting, the ancient Elder
will be the only vessel needed by the
Harrlman system on the Portland and
San Francisco route, and the Colum
bia can be used to handle that portion
of the Oriental trade which Mr.
Schwerln may be unable to drive to
Puget Sound or San Francisco.
The news that the channel over the
Columbia River bar had been deepened
three feet since last June will be re
ceived with becoming satisfaction. That
the statement of the increased depth is
true finds corroboration in the actual
condition of the bar yesterday, when
several deeply loaded vessels passed "aut
In safety although a violent gale had
been raging for several days. Never
under the old conditions was it possible
for the bar to quiet down so quickly
after a big storm. Further cause for
congratulation will be found in the
statement that the bar dredge Chinook
Is to be laid off for repairs at the end
of the present month. The holes which
the teredo has eaten In the jetty plies
are small In comparison with the holes
which the big dredge has eaten in the
jetty appropriation, and it has not yet
been successfully demonstrated that
the Chinook has served any other pur
pose than to absorb a good many thou
sand dollars which could have been
used to much better advantage on the
jetty extension.
Judge De Haven, of the United States
District Court In San Francisco, has
handed down a decision limiting the
liability of the owners of the wrecked"
steamship Progreso to the appraised
value of the wreck. In the case at
issue the value of the wreck was but
$15,020, while the claims of the heirs ot
the victims who were killed when the
vessel was destroyed amounted to more
than 5100,000. This decision, if It Is sus
tained, offers great opportunity for
speculation as to the status of the claim
had the vessel proved a total loss or
had she been comparatively uninjured.
If it is good law, steamship owners In
the future would do well to Instruct
their captains when In trouble to make
the wreck "total," If possible, in order
to avoid any kind of litigation. If the
liability of a vessel-owner is limited to
the value of that vessel, no matter what
shape the disaster may leave her in, it
would be the part of prudence to elim
inate her totally.
"Repeatedly," says President Roose
velt, "I have refused to nominate .
a man to succeed, some public servant
who I felt had particular claims to be
renominated or whom I regarded as
markedly superior to his proposed suc
cessor." The renomlnatlon of Governor
Brady, of Alaska, needs no remark in
vjew of the President's utterance.
The liberal movement in Russia can
not be mistaken nor disguised. Its
leaders realize that its best success lies
in their ability to ward off violent out
break. If they can convince the Czar
that the security of his crown rests on
them ratHer than the bureaucrats, he
may harken to their counsel.
W. L. Douglas paid ? 35,000 campaign
expenses for an $S000 Job as Governor
of Massachusetts for one year. Mr.
Douglas will have to g'et even by mak
ing one' $3 shoe grow where two grew
before, if that sort of thing 13 to pay.
The Insurance companies now say
thai total abstainers from alcoholic
drink live longer than anybody else.
More water on the prohibition wheeL
But, all the same, It'jt tough to have to
believe it. . "
Judge Fraser appears Inclined to lay
down the uncomfortable doctrine that
a gentleman on the witness-stand can-
sot He in his own behalf.
Even Dr. Swallow comes out of the
Presidential race with something like
3Q0.0M votes. Where Mi Parker .get his
J vofe anyway?
THE SIMPLE LIFE.
New York American.
Pastor Wagner, the advocate of the
Simple Life, was at Carnegie Hall last
evening for the benefit ot Hampton In
stitute. He spoke in his ingenious man
ner. His hearers were learned and com
plicated, doubtless. He captivated them
entirely. He said:
want to tell you how I came to
preach the Simple Life, because nothing
in the world Is so attractive as to watch j
Ideas growing up. Humanity is a great.
shadowy forest, with big. old trees, undar
which youns trees have much dimcuity
to find air and light. Or children are like
young trees. They have no time to do
children. Their Ideas of children are
crushed In them in the germ. There are
two kinds of education, and I must tell
vou what mine was.
"My father gave me independence to
see nature and to think. I had a good,
religious mind. I looked at the birds, the
ants, the trees and the stars. At night
when the stars smiled at the darkness
and made It light. I knelt cn the ground
fervently, and worshipped, the moon, i
am sure that my father, peeping between
the curtains at the window, saw me wor
shipping the moon. He dldn t shout at
me: 'Get up. little pagan:' He let me ao
as I thought best, because he knew that
I would learn to worship only the Spiritual
God when I became a man.
I retained of that early love of nature
a great love for what is direct, sponta
neous and simple. And I have formed
from it my first rule of simplicity let
children be children. Let them learn them-
selves that there Is an endless life, of
which this Is only the beginning. I wa3
tho happiest child In the world. But I had
as a student the most tormented life that
you can Imagine. Theologians were fight
ing around me, and my grandmother and
mother sighed, saying: 'Oh, for a word of
the gospel I France and Germany were
at war. The Germans of Franco and tne
French of Germany were hurling insults
and threats at one another. I would go
(neither
to France nor to Germany, be
cause I
loved them both. My grandmother
was a uerman, but my motner was
Frenchwoman. I was a piece of iron out
of tho furnace, between hammer and an
vil. It Isn't comfortable. I could not
speak, because I had not yet the power
to speak.
"When I could speak I was a voice In
the wilderness at first. But If you speak
the truth you shall not stay In. the wil
derness. My- congregation grew around
me, accepting my arguments for love and
simplicity. Some said that I ought to
nut Into books What I said to them. I
wrote 'Youth' and 'Courage' for the
younsr. because I love young people, i
want to be a boy among them. 'Simple
Life came by accident. It came as If I
took a step forward and fell from this
platform.
"I spoke at a wedding. We Frenchmen
make speeches at weddings. The daugh
ter- of M. Ferdinand Busson, a man who
had done much for education In France,
was there. When she was to be married,
two or three weeks lateY, she came to me
and said: 'Please come to my wedding
and say there the things that you said
'the other day.' I replied: You can't
think of It seriously, my child. She In
sisted.
"I said. 'The other wedding was of
poor, simple people. At your's are to be
2000 persons. Including State Ministers,
members of Parliament, secretaries of Le
gations, members of the Academy, writ
ers and artists. I am not learned enough
to talk of them.' But her father came and
urged, and I spoke to that brilliant com
pany. I was applauded and great men
came to me to' shake my hands and say,
'You have spoken well!'
"This was not all. There was a pub
lisher In the crowd. There Is always
publisher In a crowd, listening to learn
what he may publish. He said to me that
I ought to write a book named 'Simple
Life.' When I called on him by appoint
ment the next day. I had written on
sheet of paper the titles of all the chapters
of my book. It had always been In my
mind. But I had not known it, until the
publisher spoke.
"Now, let me tell you how It Is that I
have come here. My bookrfell Into the
hands of President- Roosevelt and he
found It nice. I learned this on an Island
where I was resting in the sun. Oh, I
like to rest! When the holidays come, I
am a fisherman. I forget that I was
ever a pastor. A letter came to me on
that Island from the editor of the Outlook,
saying, 'Do you know that President
Roosevelt has read all your books, likes
them all and says that it you come to
America he will present you to the pub
lic hlmselfr
"You can imagine how glad I was. 'But,
I said to one of my friends, the fisher
men, 'I can't go to America. I don't know
English. He replied: Isn't that English
language that one can learn from
book?" I got the book and I learned Eng
lish. Oh, yes, I learned English, since
you laugh!
He was more Interesting than this exact
report of his speech may be. His ges
tures, his walk on the platform, all his
attitudes were those of a good, old-fash
ioned peasant His hearers were charmed
by that simplicity. They laughed and
applauded with cordiality.
"I sing my song of simplicity. he con
tinued, "In this tremendous city as the
prophet of the Old Testament sang In the
body of the great fish. This city of sky
scrapers and subways is the proper place
to taiK of simplicity. I heard In Paris.
when I was a boy, the song of a lark in a
garden, and It brought me back to the
fields around my village. An explorer has
said, 'All the great desert dreams of one
thing a drop of rain to make a flower.
"is not simplicity the flower that you
wish? It Is at the heart of your National
life. Be true to youd traditions and you
shall be simple." Pastor Wagner said
afterward: "I am glad that I came. What
a grand ovation I have received!"
The Biggest Warship.
New York World.
The British Admiralty has ordered two
new warships, one of which Is to be
known- as the Lord Nelson. They are to
De tne biggest in tne world.
Each is to cost $7,500,000:" A duplicate In
thl3 country would "come to much more.
owing to tne steel monopoly.
Each ship will carry four 12-inch guns
pf increased power gained by making
them 4o feet long the depth of an aver
age Brooklyn house.
There will be ten guns of 9 1-5-lnch cali
ber, all on the upper deck, untouched save
by the heaviest seas. Five torpedo tubes
and a lot of small guns are added. The
protective plates are 12 Inches thicks.
The displacement Is to be 16,500 tons.
only a little above that ot the King Ed
ward class. Our heaviest ships, the Con-
necticut class, weigh 16.000 tons. The Bal-
uc displaces aoout si.aw tons.
The Lord Nelson Is 410 feet long, but
luch wider than any merchant vessels, of
much
which several are over 700 feet.
Hard Luck for Two' Democrats.
Klamath 'Falls Republican.
The following story came from Poe
"Valley: The first men who arrived at
the polls were sworn in to act on the
board, among these were two Demo
crats, who were not registered. There
were only seven votes cast and it was
impossible at any time durlnsr the day
to get six freeholders to swear the ger-
tiemens vote in. so tnev naa to serve
all day on the board and were not even
allowed to vote.
Proper Place for a Scrub Horse.
Wallowa News.
The custom of running horses can be
carried to extremes. Not every horse in
the country is a racehorse and there is
no need to- try to make him so. Speed Is
all right boys but it is useless to waste
time witn a scrub racenorse. Put mm
to the plow where he can earn soat-
thing, and ktep alia tker
WHERE TURKEYS COME FROM.
St. Louis Globe-Democrat.
Of course, the turkey has an Inalien
able right to strut; he has figured so
long as the gastronomic center of at
traction on Thanksgiving. But in the
light of recent investigation he Is not the
whole show that he evidently thinks he
Is. and the majority of the good people
of the united States hold him to be
around Thanksgiving time.
In the first place, and. astounding as
It may seem to the small boy who Is
already punching extra holes in his belt
In forehanded preparation for the com-
Ing feast, not enough turkeys are raised
in all America to give every one of Uncle
Sam's thankful 16,000.000 families a Na
tional bird for the Thanksgiving dinner.
All told, the states raise yearly only
about 6,500.000 turkeys on their 5,000,000
farms, and If all these turkeys were
killed to make a Thanksgiving festival.
some 9,500,000 families would necessarily
have to go turkeyless to bed.
But the yearly crop of the National
bird is by no means marketed in toto
around Thanksgiving week. According to
the poultry statistics of the country, only
about z.x,x turkeys find their way
Into the stomachs of thl3 happy people
during the month of November, despite
tne fact that those of us who are sc
fortunate as to get a slice of tender
breast or golden-browned drumstick
fondly cherish the thought that all the
rest of our fellow-countrymen have been
equally favored.
Such sentiments, if at tall appropriate.
were better saved for the Christmas holi
days. Indeed. Christmas not Thankseiv-
Ing, is the real turkey day. Last Christ
mas Uncle Sams nephews and nieces
took care of about 1,500.000 more turkeys
than they did on Thanksgiving. Thus
all except 1,000,000 members of the an
nual-turkey crop are accounted for. Of
these the statistics would have us be
lieve that half are killed and plucked to
supply the market at other times than
Thanksgiving and Christmas, while the
remaining 500.000 are kept by the farm
ers as breeders for the next year's crop.
This remnant of a once mighty strut
ting army Is entirely sufficient for breed
ing purposes. Each turkey can be count
ed on to lay about 25 eggs, and every
egg to produce a poult. Over 11,000,000
poults are hatched annually, a number
sufficient to give all but 5,000.000 families
a turkey for holiday time.
The real turkey state of the Union Is
just plain Texas and has been for sev
eral years past. It has produced on an
average about three-quarters of a million
turkeys every year since 1900. Missouri
Is a close second and the other leading
turkey states are Illinois, Iowa, Ohio
and Indiana In the order named. These
six states raise half the turkey crop:
with Nebraska and Kansas, they produce
considerably over half. Let the weather
during the early stages of the season be
wet In any two of these states and the
Thanksglvlngturkey Is bound to come
high to -the purchaser.
Les3 than a decade ago Ohio and In
diana were the leading turkey states.
and poulterers will tell you that only
within the last five or six years have
they been receiving-shipments from Tex
as and Missouri, the present leaders. In
recent years, too, the Iowa turkey has
come to the fore as being the finest of
all turkeys raised outside of Rhode
Island, and the tatter's equal In all re
spects. Iowa turkeys universally com
mand the highest prices In such discrim
inating centers as New York, Chicago
and Philadelphia, the last-named town
even paying more for them than its
own dearly beloved Philadelphia turkey.
wnicn holds a place in the Quakers
mind alongside Philadelphia capon.
Can He Resist This?
Savannah (Ga.) News.
It is announced that the President
will not come South this Winter, but
will wait until next Spring. He is
making a mistake. The South is never
more delightful than in Winter the
mild, balmy Winter peculiar to the sec
tlon.
It is in the Winter that the nine and
oak logs blaze cheerily on -the open
hearth and give off an aroma that
makes the man in whose nostrils it
enters glad that he is alive.
it is in winter that nome-made sau
sages, hung in long links from the
rafters, are at their best, and the
souse in the stone crock is seasoned
to a king's taste. It is then that the
persimmon beer, the walnuts and the
sweet potatoes combine to delight the
palates of all healthy men.
And then there are 'possums and
chestnuts and corn pone and frost-
nipped collards and "dodgers, all
holding out the promise of cheer and
Inward delight to him who knows the
unsurpassable plecsures of the simple
and strong life.
Wo feel almost sure that if tha Presi-
blazing in the fireplace and "grandma"
sausage cooking in the kitchen ha would
not wait until Spring.
The Liquid Air Failure.
Philadelphia Bulletin.
The statement that employes have
brought suit to get their salaries from
concern formed to demonstrate that
liquid air had practical value as a mo
tor force recalls the abundant predlc-
tlons made several years asro that this
agent was destined to work wonders
In various ways. Companies were
created to exploit it and to sell stocks
to the public, and many people were
led to believe that it might ultimately
worn Bomeimns apyrauemus vuu-
tion in the expansive power which this
intensely cold substance exerted as it
gradually returned to normal condi
tions. In addition it was confidently as
serted that the methods of manufac
turing it would soon be developed so
that It would be possible to cool houses
in the heat of Summer as readily as
I they are now warmed in Winter, since
I all that -would bo required would be to
send the cold alrthrough pipes as hot!
air Is transmitted through the flues
from an ordinary furnace, xet it has
been a long time since these promises
were made and apparently nothing has
come of them.
Three Queer Animal Tales.
From Edmund Selous "Romance of the
Animal World.'
The Indians say that if a beaver sent
out from the parents' lodge falls to find a
mate he. is set to repair tne dam. it ne
falls a second time he is banished.
An Arab writer has the same story. He
tells us that those who buy beaversklns
can distinguish between the skins of mas
ters and slaves. The latter have the hair
of the head rubbed oft, because they have
to pound the wood for their masters food,
and do It with tneir beads.
One more story is about the puma, the
"friend of man." A certain Maldonada, a
- girl of Buenos Ayres, was falsely accused
of having sought to betray the town to
thR Tndlarm and was condemned to be ex-
i posed In the forest. An enormous puma
warded her all night from the attacks
of other beasts. The next day she was
taken back to the town and pronounced
to be innocent.
He Knew the State.
Savannah News.
A New York newspaper sent a letter
to its correspondent in Columbia in-
structlns: him to "send early the re
sult of the election in South Carolina,
meaning, of course, that the . report
I Rhnuld he filed with the telejrraoh cora-
I pany as early as possible on Tuesday
niht. T?nt tha correspondent cian
wait for Tuesday, On Monday night
he wired: "South Carolina went Demo
cratic tomorrow by the usual large ma
jority." There's no use trying to get a
scoop on a correspondent nice tnai.
Soclafism en Mud Creek.
Wallowa News.
The Socialists carried one precinct in
this county. Mud Creek. They had five
more votes "than all the precincts. They
slight try their plan, down there for
UMwmives ana e now. it wow,
N0TE AND COMMENT.
A white lie is one that possesses some
color.
The Baltic
fleet continues in. strong
spirits.
This is just one Thanksgiving day out
of 3. .
The Royal Chinook union unanimously
favors a six-day week.
To say the least, the Russians in Crete
appear to have been indiscreet.
The New York Mall suggests that this
will be a great day for "mince piety."
Mrs. Lewlssohn's $23,000 sable jacket
is almost expensive enough- to -go -with
a lawsuit.
How the other authors must envy
"Simple Life" Wagner the advertising
he's 'getting.
Apparently the man that rocked the
boat has survived to leave carbolic acid
on the kitchen shelf.
Even if the airships do reach the wild
automoblllst stage, the sun will still be
able to go into , eclipse.
Chehalis has barred cows from her
streets. What la becoming of the old
doctrine about equal rights for all?
In apportioning your sympathy between
the turkey and the football player, re
member that the turkey's death Is sud
den.
For lack of funds the McKInley me
morial cannot be completed In accord
ance with the original resign. The dead
fade from memory, but the dollar never.
Yale is a million dollars ahead on the
past year and a church pew was sold In
New York a few days ago for more than
a thousand dollars. Hand In hand, edu
cation and religion are marching for
ward with giant strides- in this land of
ours.
General Huertas, of Panama, is but 4
feet 8. inches In height, and is known a3
the "smallest General in the world." A3
he received 525,000 for bringing overthe
Colombian troops to the cause of inde
pendence the worthy patriot is short only
as regards Inches. "
A. great light breaks upon us. There are
two H. T. P's. In the world. Harry Thurs
ton Peck is not the only one. In the cur
rent number of Pearson's Magazine there
is an article on Gabrieile Rejane, "by H.
T- P- (Henry T. Parker)." This explains
a whole lot of puzzling things.
Leslie's Weekly says that the good old-
fashioned notion of marking wedding
.glft3 of silver with tho initials of the
family names of the bride and the groom,
coupled by the character "&," is coming
into 'vogue. It Is hard to see why for
with this method the silver must be re
marked when the divorce comes, no mat
ter which of -the two keeps it.
One of the witnesses at the Nan Patter
son trial, on being asked to shc-w his
estimate of time by clapping his hands
with a minute interval, allowed but six
seconds to elapse between his signals.
When the ordinary man is tied down to
definite answers it is strange how wildly
he will guess at times and distances, to
say nothing of his utter incapacity for
giving a description of even an intimate
friend. The "tall robber and the short
robber" furnish an 'instance of his limita
tions. ' ".--
Shakespeare and the Bible should have
a decided boom, if the advertising they
have had lately in Portland's law courts
goes for anything. Shakespeare pointed
several allusions in a gambling case, and
tte Blble eenillumlnating a lawyer's
mind for tne benefit of the Jury In the
land case. Such evidence of the place In
the public mind occupied by these monu
ments of literature must be very grati
fying to the critics who are forever con
demning the popular devotion to
ephemeris.
Now it la the anarchists that are
viewing with alarm. At a meeting in
xrB T.rV na nf .v
the lack of interest in anarchist work and
the small attendances at anarchist meet
ings. Poor man, no wonder he was
despondent, with policemen in the very
room where he was. speaking. No won
der he denounced this infamous spying
and restraint as an infringement of his
liberty. It is monstrous that a man
cannot blow up princes and potentates,
even verbally. If he feels that way. And
besides are the bombmakers to be
- ! driven to starvation?
Ian Maclaren says that In Scotland
misfortune Is either a judgment or a dls-
nensation of Providence, as it hamjens to
nnA. nellrhbor or to ona'a self. Tivrv
o . ... ,,,n 1
of Columbus (Ind.) is at present suffering
as the result ot a Judgment. -The woman
spanked ber son with maternal vigor and
in the course of the operation struck a
sharpened pencil which the kid had in
his hip pocket (no other pocket would
I have been on tho scene of action). The
point ran Into the woman's hand, and
caused injuries that may necessitate am
putation. Apart from being a spanking
that hurt as much to give as to receive,
this occurrence teaches the folly of rais
ing on'es hand against a child, at any"
rate, while shingles are- so cheap.
WEX. J.
OUT OF THE GINGER JAR.
He I had a. motive in setting- married on tha
13th. She Explain yourself. He We wilt al
ways .have something to lay it to., Chicago
News.
Broker Ko more margin to put up? Why,
when the account was opened you told me you
were well on. Lamblelgb So I was, but 1
didn't know it, Town Topics.
She Did you say anything to papa about
your being: too young:? He yes. But he ua
whea I,??c l fy y2r b"1f 1 w0Uld
8 nvliir enougb.-Cblcaso Chronicle,
First Boy-I see Patoy hez brozen all home
ties. Second Boy Wot do yer mean? First
Boy-HIs mudder, tied hlnx up ter bedpost, so
coIdn t go awlmraln . but dare he ls!-
3udge.
' "Ten" "aid the giraffe, 'Tve got a. sore
throat. Can you imagine anything worse than
that?" "Well," said the centipede. "I had my
feet frostbitten once." Philadelphia Public
Ledger.
"Bridget, you must be more careful with
your dusting. I declare I could' write my
name upon the piano." " 'Deed, ma'am. It's
yersllf has the gran eddycayshun." Town and
Country. j
Guttersnipe Please znuwer wants sixpence
j on this 'ere fry in' pan. Pawnbroker Hallo!
t ir noii i,uerwsii im,
mawer's
cooked Use sosetgeat. an waste the money for
the beer! Punch.
'I don't think Crae will ever secseed.
He's too fond of AEdto faalt." "Well, he's
got & good job at it, now." "X Jo, at Sading
fault?" "Tern, he's & spetter for tie Traction
Company." Pblladelpkla. Pre.
"Doe your coaenmas have'- aay perqieit??"
asked Xr. Oldcastle. "He had one osee," re
plied .her Koateea, "but tie doctor said it was
brought on by be la out too tear Is tie hot
sua. Hyt I don't Icboy what Vi 3 wMfa s yer.
Ma. rou4 mm .Ut k4 Umb tor." bl
X co Heeera-BetaM