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PORTLAND, WEDNESDAY, MAY 11, 1905.
A SQUARE ANSWER.
Congressman Claude Kltchin, In his
recent assault upon the President,
quoted from Mr. Roosevelt's literary
-works in support of his assertion that
he had made "vicious, persistent and
unwarranted attacks upon Thomas Jef
ferson" as "a vacillating, timid, shifty
doctrinaire," "Incompetent, ungrateful.
Intriguing against "Washington," "se
cretly aiding the French," a man "con
stitutionally unable to put the proper
value on truthfulness, the most incapa
ble executive that ever filled the Presi
dential chair." Mr. Roosevelt is quot
ed as denouncing Madison as "timid,
Incapable, a ridiculously incompetent
leader for a war with Great Britain,"
"a man whose feeble administration
brought shame and disgrace to Amer
ica" In the War of 1812. Mr. Roose
velt is quoted as denouncing Monroe
as "a figure-head President" whose ad
ministration as Secretary of "War under
Madison was "a triumph of Imbecility
to the last." Congressman Kltchin fur
ther quoted Mr. Roosevelt's literary
works to prove that In them Presidents
Jackson, Van Buren, Harrison, Tyler,
Polk, Taylor, Pierce and Buchanan are
ail bitterly denounced as utterly un
equal, either through ignorance, inca
pacity or iniquity, to the high respon
sibilities of their great office, and then
Congressman Kltchin in conclusion
says: "History will mark Theodore
Roosevelt out, in unique and shameless
solitude, as the relentless defamer of
our Nation's Presidents."
There is a square answer to all this.
Mr. Roosevelt began to write American
history and biography when he was not
25 years of age. His historical judg
ments may some of them be wrong, but
In the most extravagant of them he is
supported by high authority. Henry
Adams, a writer of great ability and
learning, takes the Roosevelt view of
the administrations of Jefferson and
Madison; the same view of the Inca
pacity of Monroe, in his standard his
tory of our National political adminis
tration from 1S01 to 1S18. Men of equal
ability, veracity and learning are di
vided today in their estimate of Jef
ferson's Intellect and character. George
"Washington, who gave Jefferson once
his confidence, came to distrust him as
a politician. In the matter of Andrew
Jackson there are two opinions today
among equally able and veracious his
torians. Professor George Sumner, of
Tale University, a hidebound Democrat,
takes the Roosevelt view of both Jack
son and "Van Buren. Mr. Roosevelt has
ample historical support for his view
that "William Henry Harrison and Fill
more were small presidents. Daniel
"Webster, the great "Whig statesman,
had a very small opinion of President
Taylor. Henry Clay denounced Presi
dent Tyler as "a turncoat."
The Roosevelt estimate of Presidents
Pierce and Buchanan has ample histor
ical support; that is, it has historical
support strong enough and able enough
to entitle Mr. Roosevelt to his opinion
without being justly subject to the
charge of being "a relentless defamer"
of all our American Presidents. There
are American public men concerning
whose personal merits and whose pub
lic capacity able and intelligent and up
right men will always be divided. Are
there not two opinions today among
able. Intelligent men concerning the
statesmanship of "Webster, Clay, . Cal
houn, Jefferson Davis, and even Lin
coln? Do not able men differ still con
cerning the military stature of Lee and
Grant and Sherman? Do not men dif
fer, even in France, regarding the
statesmanship of Napoleon? Some
Frenchmen agree with Thiers, some
with Talne and some depreciate Napo
leon with Lanfrey. The point we seek
t6 make is that Mr. Roosevelt as a
historian is entitled to his opinion, and
furthermore, we Insist that he is on
trial not as a historian, but as a states
man. Suppose all his historical literary
Judgments were wrong, what of it? He
might be a man of surpassing ability as
an executive statesman, even as Napo
leon was a peerless soldier, an astute
diplomatist and able statesman, despite
the fact that his literary taste was so
bad that he thought Osslan a great
poet.
Mr. Roosevelt is not on trial before
the American people for the soundness
of his historical judgments of Ameri
can statesmen, penned when he was 25
years of age, although all these judg
ments have eminently respectable sup
port, but he is on trial as an executive
statesman, as a patriot, an efficient ex-
j ecutive and able administrator. From
this standpoint the indictment of Con
gressman Kltchin, while superficially
cunning, is essentially Irrelevant, un
just and weak. And this 13 the weak
ness, the confessed weakness, of the
Democratic political campaign argu
ment when they undertake to make the
personal issue very prominent in their
fight against President Roosevelt's
candidacy. They find his public
record as President impregnable, so
they resort to assailing his personality,
as was done'in the case of Jackson and
resulted not only in his triumphant re
election, but left him so strong that he
was able to dictate his successor when
he refused nomination for a third
term. In this resolve to make Mr.
Roosevelt's personality the center of a
political campaign the Democracy have
made a fatal mistake, for his brilliant
personality, rather than his formal, per
functory speeches, are Mr. Roosevelt's
strongest point.
VON BULOW ON CARICATUKE.
German caricature has long been rec
ognized as the pacemaker of civiliza
tion for cogency and point. It Is dis
concerting, therefore, to meet with so
unappreciative a reference to it as
Chancelolr von Bulow is reported to
have delivered in the Reichstag, reply
ing to the never uninteresting or per
functory Herr BebeL The subject was
the Russian reverses, and In reply to
tha obvious gloating of the socialists
over Japanese prowess, and the asser
tion of Herr Bebel that popular senti
ment In Germany does not sympathize
with Berlin's official commiseration
with St. Petersburg, the Chancellor ex
pressed his regret
at the manner in which many of the German
newspapers, especially the comic publica
tions, have utilized the recent calamities of
a neighboring and friendly power as the basis
for malevolent, spiteful and ridiculing articles
and caricatures, which have affronted human
feelings and are lacking in political tact.
Here Is a code of caricature -which
will gain instant approval of all who
have suffered at the hands of the car
toon all frauds and humbugs, all hy
pocrisy, malfeasance and Incompe
tence In high places, all stuffed
prophets, four-flushers, renegades
and false alarms. The cartoon,
If the Chancellor can have his
way, will henceforth eschew the malev
olent, spiteful and ridiculing, and be
come Instead by contrast nothing but
benevolent, gracious and encomiastic
"What could be more lovely? The ef
fectiveness of caricature along these
lines must appeal with irresistible force,
even to the Teutonic sense of humor.
The Chancellor's strong point, how
eer, is in his disqualification of the
reigning cartoon for Its want of "polit
ical tact." Now we all know what po
litical tact Is In the Chancellorlan eye.
It means coincidence with the admin
istration's course. Can we suppose, for
example, that those American cartoons
which have represented Russ'la as a
spider luring the Japanese fly Into her
Manchurlan trap would impress "Von
Bulow as wanting In political tact?
Nay, verily. Neither would a drawing
representing "Von Bulow as a giant,
standing serene amid a few Insignifi
cant buzzing Insects designed to repre
sent Bebel and his supporters. The
Chancellor has done a good service for
the cause of caricature, and we await
with impatience the forthcoming Issue
of Die Jgend.
NO SHORT AND EASY WAY.
"What our ancestors were accustomed
to think the old-fashioned virtues of
personal Industry and self-dependence
are obsolete or obsolescent. Govern
ment must now do everything for
everybody. The citizen is not to do
anything for himself, any more. Gov
ernment must look out for his health,
food, shelter and raiment It must
shield him from snares of all kinds
except his own delusions, and these it
should steadily minister unto and pro
mote. It must Inculcate the Idea that
a man's resources are not at all In
himself, but in government and in so
ciety, to be "worked out through poll
tics, unions, combinations, clubs and
legislation.
Formerly there was a notion that it
was a good idea to have your boy
learn a trade, and with it to learn how
to work with patience and industry, so
as to support himself and get on in the
world, through personal application,
to .independence. But this will not do
any more. The Idea now is the get-rlch-qulck
Idea, through social and po
litical agitation. Hard work aforetime
was the rule. It Is so 310 longer. There
are supposed to be easier ways. For
example, light, easy and m agreeable
"manual training" is to become one of
the functions of the public school. Yet
some few persons still remain, fossils
of the olden time, of course, who are of
the opinion thafif you would have your
son a wagon-maker you would better
send him to learn at an establishment
where they build wagons; and if you
wish him to be a boiler-maker, to a
shop where boilers are made. They do
not suppose your son will get the re
sults you desire for him, or anything of
real value, by a little dilettante "man
ual training" in the public school.
Of course it will be said that such
things are done In the public schools
of certain other cities. The argument
is good, if it be granted that one futil
ity ought to be excuse for another.
"If the enemy is an ass and a fool and
a prating coxcomb, is it meet, think
you, that we should also, look you, be
an ass and a fool and a prating cox
comb? in your own conscience, now?"
Thus honest, plain-spoken Fluellen.
Persons of practical judgment and old
fashioned, common-sense Ideas get-very
sick of the multifarious and ever-increasing
projects of theorists, doctrin
aires and airy promoters. They who
depend on the state to teach their chil
dren trades are doing one of the worst
possible things for their children,
whether they know it or not There is
hut one way to prepare the young for
the work of life, and that Is to put them
in places where that work is done-, You
will get coopers and blacksmiths In that
way, and In no other.
A BORN ADVENTURER,
Henry M. Stanley was a born adven
turer In the highest and most heroic
sense of the word. He was of the breed
of Cllve, whose great work he would
have been equal to. He was of the
breed of La Salle; he was of the breed
of Hastings; he was a man of ardent
ambition and dauntless courage,, who
recked not of the life he lost If he could
win genuine fame. He was not of the
type of Livingstone, who was originally
a missionary; he was not of the type of
Marquette, Jollet, Hennepin or Allouez,
for they were priests; he was a born
adventurer. He had but a free school
education in England; he serves on
both sides in our Civil "War; he becomes
a newspaper correspondent; bis su
perior equipment Is not his pen, which
13 but mediocre, but hl3 conspicuous
force of character.
The New York Herald knew that If
Stanley could not write brilliantly he
was a born fighter, a daring, ambitious
explorer. So it pinned Its faith on hint
and he rang true metal. He was a
hard, cold, stern man, a man without
sensibility save to an appeal to human
justice. In his way he was a great
man. Men of his calm courage and
utter insensibility to humane, sympa
thetic appeal are the kind of men that
have extended the boundaries of civili
zation. Mungo Park, an amiable, en
lightened explorer, failed In his efforts
to explore the Niger and lost his life In
the attempt, "while Stanley succeeded
in his efforts to explore the Congo and
followed its sources to the sea.
Stanley won because vs was, like
Clive, a man of hardlhooc f ambition,
of executive ability, wr Park was
an amiable man animat y scientific
curiosity. Stanley won ause, like
Clive, he was a nature rn, daring
fighter. And out of t trait grew
Stanley's permanent fam He was not
an educated man; he w 5 a man of
high native ability, of great force of
character and of quenchless ambition,
and he won where a- man of more learn
ing would, have turned back and report
ed another story about the "unexplored
region of Africa."
Stanley was personally not an at
tractive man, any more than Welling
ton; but he enlarged our knowledge of
Central Africa enormously, even as the
bulldog "Wellington saved Europe from
the jaws of Napoleon. Measured by the
practical, far-reaching consequences of
his African explorations, Henry M.
Stanley Is one of the greatest men of
his century.
A DANGEROUS PRECEDENT.
Every honest soul whose Intellectual
equipment Is constituted of three parts
sentiment and one part credulity will
be pained at the cruel fate that has
overtaken Mrs. Bessie Muzinsky, of
New York City. This good woman,
having fed her mind for some months
upon the high thoughts of health maga
zines, demonstrated without a doubt to
her faith that her nature required no
other pabulum than meditation upon
the good, the true and the beautiful,
with complete abstention from things
material, especially the base and im
moral concoctions known to a degener
ate world as food. "When well advanced
upon the path to spiritual perfection,
she has been seized upon by the pow
ers of this world and removed to a hos
pital, where unsympathetic doctors are
trying to force food upon her. It Is an
other humiliating exhibit in the deprav
ity of so-called practical men in refus
ing to be guided by the sublimated phil
osophy of every unique spiritual guide
that comes along.
Mrs. Muzinsky's personal humilia
tion Is intensified, moreover, by the fate
of her family. For the dispatches leave
little room for doubt that a prime
cause for the Interference that has
brought her to grief was the meddle
some sympathy of outsiders for her
husband and three children whom she
had auspiciously started upon the road
to holiness. No blame can be attached
to the children, who would probably
have acquiesced dutifully in the ma
ternal programme. But one does not
require more than a passing acquaint
ance with human nature to make sure
that Mr. Muzinsky rebelled at the diet
of prayer and meditation set before him
three meals a day. Such is the selfish
and weak nature of male man that he
ever fails to meet those tests of spirit
uality and self-sacrifice through which
the so-called gentler sex acquits Itself
with glory.
Such cases have happened here in
Portland. One carnally minded busi
ness man whose better half had demon
strated the moral and religious value of
going without breakfast was seen to
stop at a Fourth-street restaurant
every morning on his way to business
and there bestow within his graceless
Interior a large and juicy tenderloin,
without a semblance of remorse for his
base treachery to the domestic com
pact Another conscienceless wretch
who has been fondly forbidden flesh on
the family board brutally scout3 this
means of grace by taking at the. Com
mercial Club dally a noon luncheon at
which his plate may be seen surrounded
by large rations of every kind of meat
referred to on the bill of fare.
From what we know of others of his
sex, we make little doubt that Mr. Mu
zinsky is himself the heartless betrayer
of Mrs. Muzinsky's plan of campaign
and the instigator of a domestic revolt
which has drawn the attention and aid
of outside powers. The precedent thus
set up is fraught with grave and In
sidious danger; for its only effect will
be to encourage insubordination in
sensual husbands who have hitherto
lacked the spirit to rebel against the
more spiritual administration of the
head of the family, that is to say, its
mistress. If a woman cannot run her
own house inher own way, especially
the commissariat what are we comirg
to? Are doctors to be suffered to in
vade the sanctity of home, in order to
perpetuate life and thus Insure perma
nence for their profession?
DO POLITICS PAY?
"When a. man of Henry McGinn's wide
reading, tremendous energy and im
pressive oratorical powers takes him
self voluntarily out of a political office
to devote himself more assiduously to
the practice of his profession. It gives
added weight to the misgivings of those
who view with regret the tendency of
brains and character to eschew public
life for the rewards of business or pro
fessional life. There can be little doubt
that a smaller proportion of men like
Clay and "Webster, Crittenden and "Cal
houn. Sumner and Benjamin, Benton
and Seward, are In Congress today than
a generation ago, or that a larger pro
portion of gifted minds are attracted by
the greater emoluments, leisure and
even fame of law, medicine, manufac
tures and trade.
Time was when a state was proud to
send Its most eminent men to the Sen
ate of the United States. But the
colossal figures of our National life are
not In the Senate, still less in the
House. Great speakers like Reed and
Carlisle got rich and enjoyed life at the
New York bar; while the great names
of New York and Pennsylvania are not
Piatt and Quay, but rather Morgan and
Carnegie, Rockefeller and "Wana
maker. A man can make money at his
own business, but he can rarely make
money In politics, except at the ex
pense of his self-respect And money
has come to be so potent in politics,
especially wherever great corporations
are involved, that a man must either
find ways to support himself through
political operations or else have so
large a private fortune that he can
sport a political ambition something as
he might maintain a racing stable or a
pleasure yacht
All this Is chiefly due to the fact that
persons of wealth set the standards of
social approval sv that only money or
else a certain cheap talent for enter
tainment can come up to them. No
body Is anybody unless he dresses ex
pensively, entertains lavishly, travels
largely and patronizes entertainments
at which society disports Itself to be ad
mired and to be amused. There- is a
decreasing welcome in desirable houses
for the literary genius who, like Poe or
Hawthorne, was sought for the pure
enjoyment his artistic nature and Ideals
might afford, or for the saintly counsel
and Intellectual stimulus cf an Emer
son or "Whlttler, or for the pure", sweet
woman whose garments are of seasons
gone by but from whose presence flows
all grace and Inspiration as from the
precious vision of the Holy Grail.
It Is a part of the Intellectual move
ment of the time that the man of inde
pendent Initiative and uncompromising
fearlessness finds less and less oppor
tunity in politics, compared with the
man who finds his satisfaction and suc
cess as a small component part of a
compact and united organization. The
man who "takes programme" gets
along, while the man who branches out
on his own hook finds the door shut In
his face. Socialistic effort is supplant
ing Individualism. Time was when the
soldier grappled his enemy in desperate
hand-to-hand encounter. Today he is
one of a long line of fellows firing at a
distant enemy he cannot see. The cor
poration replaces the individual, the
department store absorbs the small
merchant railroads pass Into mergers
and"factories into trusts. All of which
may and probably does yield greater
economic results, but it Is at the ex
pense of individual resource and de
cision. The first-class lawyer is hardly
to be blamed if he finds the exactions
and sacrifices of politics less attractive
than the greater freedom and profit of
private practice.
And now come divers and sundry
women of Bayonne, N. J., proposing to
get even on the organizers of the "Mar
ried Men's Anti-Euchre and Home
Preservation Society," of that place, by
forming an "Anti-Lodge Club." And
why not? Is not the every-nlght-in-the-week
lodge man as remiss in his
duty as the guardian of the home and
its happiness as is the woman who be
comes addicted to the social card habit?
Let a multitude of wives who have
scrimped on everything from patched
and threadbare underclothes to postage
on letters to home folks in order that
initiation fees and lodge dues and as
sessments may be paid 'and flowers
bought for the biers of deceased mem
bers answer. And when this clamor
has subsided and there will be a
clamor. If even a very small propor
tion of these wives "speak up" let
wives who have wrestled half the night
alone with croupy and colicky and fe
verish children while "lodge matters"
claimed the devoted attention of their
spouses have an Inning. There are two
sides to the "home preservation" ques
tidn, as the wife, of any chronic "Jiner"
can testify If she will. The public
awaits developments from Bayonne, on
the Jersey shore. The war there prom
ises to be a merry one, bristling with
facts instead of bayonets.
The Oregonian inclines to agree with
the Salem Journal, that the proposition
for a so-called local option law, to be
submitted to the voters in June, will
probably carry. The Journal adds these
statements, viz:
There are indications that some of the liquor
dealers ouId prefer It to the present local
option law of Oregon.
For Instance, under Its provisions, Marion
County might have a majority for the law,
and then there could not be any licenses Issued.
In Salem, and many other towns, there
would be plenty of saloons running without
licenses, and there would be in other places.
The specious arguments for the law that
It Is only an act to give people the right to
vote their sentiments, deceive many.
The Prohibitionists are all for the law, and
they were never known to be for a genuine
local option law.
Many people, not Prohibitionists, who have
been advocates of local option and believe
this bill to be a purely local option measure,
will innocently vote for It.
In an article published some days ago
The Oregonian made the mistake of
saying that under the proposed so
called option law elections might be
called by petition of 10 per cent of the
voters of a precinct or county many
times, or more than once, In a year. At
that time the proposed bill was not be
fore The Oregonian. It now has a copy
and makes the correction quoting from
the third section of the proposed bill:
"If petitioned therefor, the first elec
tions hereunder shall be held on the
first Tuesday after the first Monday
in. November, 1904, and thereafter only
on the first Monday in June of any
year."
A tract in the Deschutes country, not
less than 400,000 acres, an area equal to
that of a large county, where 20.000 in
habitants will find room, Is to be Irri
gated from the Deschutes River, and
within a short time will be transmuted
from desert lands into fertile fields. The
most extensive Irrigation scheme In the
United States is now in progress there.
"Within two years wonderful develop
ment will come of It
Of course, the hopgrowers of Oregon,
who may vote for prohibition, will not
harvest their hop crop this year; and"
next year they wll dig up their hop
vines and plant the pure, esculent, re
freshing turnip in its stead., Oregon
doesn't need the hop crop. It produces
only three million dollars. It cannot be
supposed that the people of a country
that votes for eradication tof the drink
evil "will go on raising hops.
The nomination of Dr. Henry "W. Coe
for the State Senate is an excellent one.
He Is a man of very unusual activity
and energy, has had legislative experi
ence in other states, is earnestly de
voted to the interests of Oregon, and
has shown what he could do by his
work for the Lewis and Clark Exposi
tion. He will be a very useful mem
ber of the Legislature.
A San Francisco man has killed him
self in Paris because of losses at the
gaming table. "We do not know the
Mayor of Paris by name, but it is cer
tain he should be roundly denounced
by the municipal league of that city.
If the man left any debts, they should
be paid out of the city treasury.
In Columbia County the Democrats
have declared for the Prohibition can
didate for the Legislature, have nomi
nated him on their ticket and made him
their own. Not that they believe in
prohibition, of course; but they must
"do something."
Boxes, side doors and "ladles' " (?)
entrances to saloons should be closed"
without fear or favor. Recruiting sta
tions of the place "whose steps take
hold on hell," no city with a proper re
gard for Its reputation for decency
should tolerate these adjuncts of "busi
ness."
THE YELLOW DRAMA.
Brooklyn Eagle.
In the mere fact of acting there is no
harm. Puritanism, has long since receded
from Its hostile attitude to the theater
an attitude that it took because the drama
was pleasant to the general ta3te, Just
as was dancing, dining, sports and music.
But in the theme and conduct of the play
It must be conceded that there is the
same chance for evil that there Is In
literature, the written word, or In the
spoken word of oratory. Indeed, with its
enforcement of realism, the potent mis
chief of words and Incidents becomes
more dangerous. And, although there has
always been a drama of silliness and
baseness among plays that as a rule re
flect only the nobler of human qualities, a
realization of its potency for harm, is
doubtless keener today than it was in
ruder and more unreasoning times, when
objection was made less to the theme of
the drama than to the fact that it was &
drama at all.
We have in our town at least one thea
ter that during the season about to close
has devoted itself almost entirely to plays
of crime. More than any of its neigh
bor establishments it has the patronage
of boys. An hour before the time for
opening a crowd of youngsters will be
found, headed at the gallery entrance, and
Including shavers of 9 or 10 years, smok
ing cigarettes with the complacency of
veterans, and filled with a hope of a night
of thrills. This place of excitement makes
a specialty of cheap heroics in which the
James boys, the murderer Tracy and oth
er offenders e gainst morals and decency
are pedestaled for the admiration of the
callow and Impressionable. The posters
picture forth glaring and evil counte
nances, and almost evpry scene appears
to require an exhibit of revolvers. Rob
bery, ruffianism, assassination, train
wrecking and marital unfaith appear to
be the stock in trade of the playsmlths
who evoke these horrors, and unhealthful
agitation of the nerves must be the least
of the evils that Is Induced by a study of
them. ,
We have denounced "Camilla" and
"Frou-Frou" as evil, because they create
a maudlin sympathy for unworthy sub
jects, but the play ofgore and gunpowder
is a greater evil, for the reason that it
addresses itself to unformed minds, and
sways, not by logic, but by mere excite
ment The boiler-shop drama of noise is
bad enough, the musical comedy of
Inanity is in a sense yet worse, but the
play that lifts paltry thieves and illiterate
brigands into conspiculty and excuses
their crimes is worst Yellowlsm ha3
come into the drama as it has into Jour
nalism, and it works for harm.
The production of these plays offers a
problem that is not easy to be solved.
We have resented any other censorship of
the drama than it has had from the pul
pit the press and public opinion. Even
when the cancan was introduced in our
theaters, It was declared to be so little
worse than the usual ballet that It had
its run, just as, later, we had a run of
personal exposure In "The Clemencea
Case." If it were sure that the play
which is an incentive to the vicious and
criminal career would have as brief a
success as did the drama of suggestion
and revelation, we might be comforted,
but as a mater of fact, It is one of the
most persistent forms of the drama. It
is at least as old as Harrison Alnsworth.
Plays that have for their heroes the vul
gar knaves of the police courts do no
harm .to the thinking, because they so
offend a( civilized taste that the thinking
stay away from them, but It cannot be
possible that they exert other than an
unwholesome influence on boys who see in
crime only the glory that comes of an
exhibition of address and courage. Like
many other evils that surround us, we
must look tc see this one reformed only
by. the slow and expensive processes of
education. Doubtless it Is better to endure
the evil play than to endure the official
tyranny that, might be invoked to end it
One thing the Gerry Society can do to
offset its harm, however, and that is to
prevent children of, school age from at
tending Its performances in school hours.
An Old Quarrel.
Atchison Globe.
The order closing the World's Fair on
Sunday was nonsense. No sensible man
doubts that the people would be better off
at the World's Fair on Sunday than in
doggeries, or at beer picnics. The order
closing the Fair on Sunday was issued to
please possibly one-tenth of the people;
certainly no more than that Tha notion
that a man may not amuse himself as he
sees fit on Sunday, providing he does not
interfere with the rights of others, is "un
fair, narrow-minded and ridiculous. The
theory in this country is that we all work
during the week. On Sunday wo want
diversion and recreation, and we are en
titled to It, so long as our diversions and
recreations do not interfere with the
rights of others, or become obnoxious to
common decency. The one man In a hun
dred who believes in the old Puritan Sun
day has long controlled his 99 neighbors.
"Why is it? The one man says to the 99:
"You ought to be ashamed of yourselves;
you do not love tho memory of your moth
ers: you are setting a bad example to
children; you are not promoting moral
progress; you are against the home." All
these statements are utterly foolish and
untrue, but the one man always bluffs tho
99. and has his way. Why do not the 99
'men assert themselves, and resent the in
timation that they are opposed to decency
and moral progress?
The Wrecker.
Philadelphia Ledger.
Mr. Bryan Is not a good loser; nor Is ho
an attractive figure as a declared wrecker
and defamer of the party which gave him
Its highest honors, and which he twice
led to ignominious defeat Having failed
to rule, he is now evidently resolved to
ruin it But, though he may not know it,
he is doing tho party and the , country
more valuable service than he ever ren
dered either by separating himself as far
as possible from the real Democracy.
Well rid of Bryan and Bryanlsm the .par
ty may rise on the stepping stone of its
dead self to a new career of distinction
and usefulness as an aggressive party in
opposition.
Home Without a Kitchen.
Harper's Bazar.
The fact that many new flats are
equipped only with "kitchenettes" Instead
of kitchens Is illuminating. Are we com
ing to home without a kitchen? Some
sections of our city populations have come
to it already. Tet food and nutrition re
main, inexorably, the basis of life. The
restaurant cannot replace home-made and
wholesome meals. Children never yet
were reared in vigor and health on res
taurant food, whose combination of cheap
materials and exaggerated seasoning is
trying even to adult digestions. The
kitchenette is a mistake in social eco
nomics. Planning a Bolt.
Philadelphia Press.
There is little doubt that Bryan and
Hearst have a complete understanding,
and that Bryan's extreme utterances are
in harmony with their common policy.
If they cannot handle tho Democracy
their aim appears to be to create a party
of their own of the most radical socialis
tic character, and all .nelr movements
point In that direction. Bryan's speech
means a bolt and Hearst's acts can have
no other Intelligent interpretation. If
there was any chance of Democratic suc
cess before -this development destroys it
Pattlson.
Boston Herald.
Ex-Govemor Pattlson, who is one of
the Democratic delegates at large from
Pennsylvania, has been reckoned a dark
horse in every Presidential campaign for
the last dozen years. He seems to be
quite out of, the running this time. Penn
sylvania Isn't a particularly promising
I Democratic pasture.
- PENSIONS UP TO DATE. '
The Pension Bureau at "Washington has
recently attempted to estimate the amount
paid out by the Government In pensions
since the system was began. The follow
ing figures by wars have been compiled:
Revolutionary "War (estl
mated) $ 70,000,000.00
War of IS12 on account of
sorvlco without regard to
disability 45.1S3.107.22
Indian wars (on account of
service without regard to
disability 0,234,414. 53
War with Mexico (on ac
count of service without
regard to disability 33,453,300. 01
War Jf the Rebellion .... 2.878.2-10.400.17
War With Spain 5,473.238.31
Antral tntnt lfTihiirmntH
la pensions $3,038,023,500.18 J
Pensioners upon the rolls last July were
divided among the various branches of the
service and as. between survivors and their
dependents as" follows:
Revolutionary "War Widows 2; daugh
ters, 3.
War of 1S13 Survivors, 1; widows, 1115.
Indian wars Survivors, 1565; widows',
3169.
Mexican "War Survivors, 5964; widows,
7910.
Service after March 4. 1S61 General laws:
Army invalids, 264,139; array widows, 86,
866; navy invalids, 4112; navy widows,
2221; army nurses, 624,1 Act June 27, 1S90:
Army invalids, 427.711; army widows, 156,-
249; navy invalids, 16,010; navy wldowsr
6992.
War with Spain General laws: Army In
valids, S7SS; army widows, 3488; navy In
valids, 402; navy widows, 174.
Grand total, 996,545.
This year's pension bill aggregated $133,
150,100, of which $136,800,000 is for pension
payments directly and the balance for ad
ministrative purposes.
He Was From Missouri.
Chicago Inter Ocean.
President E. H. Harriman, railroad mag
nate and president of the New York
World's Fair Commission, has passed
through an experience in St Louis which
ought to teach him that fame, after all, is
but a fleeting shadow.
.He was sauntering around the New
York State building of the Louisiana Pur
chase Exposition on Thursday, waiting
to be called to a banquet at which he was
either to preside or to" occupy the chair
of a distinguished guest when a. watch
man ordered him to "clear out!" These
were the precise words, "Cle: out!" And
they were spoken In the voice of one
who evidently felt that it was his to com
mand. "I am Mr. Harriman" tho railroad
magnate began.
"Don't know any Mr. Harriman," re
plied the watchman.
"I'm from New York," the distinguished
man explained.
"I'm. from Missouri," replied the watch
man. "Hike!" And Mr. Harriman deemed
it the wisest plan to "hike." So he
"hiked."
Mr. Harriman was not so wrapped up, it
seems, in a sense of his own importance
as to misunderstand what the watchman
meant when he said he was from Mis
souri. It meant a lot of things, even to a
railroad magnate. It meant, first of all,
that being from Missouri, the watchman
would have to be "shown," and under ae
circumstances It might have been an im
possible thing for Mr. Harriman to "show"
him with full satisfaction. He took the
more sensible course and "hiked." It'
saved a lot of bother, and the temporary
humiliation it involved was no doubt more
than compensated for by the feeling that
if he had not "hiked" when ordered he
would have been "hoisted."
Such is Missouri, and such, 'alas. Is
fame!
Savageries of Civilization.
Pittsburg Dispatch.
When the Berlin conference adjourned
the highest hope was presented that Chris
tian civilization would adopt the Chris
tian, civilized method of dealing with be
nighted and weak people of savage re
gions. It Is true that this Interval of
humane enlightenment was short-lived.
Only a year or two elapsed before Eng
land, France and Germany were grabbing
African territory right and left But it
was supposed until recently that the Con
go Free State was preserved to human
ity. Now the evidences are accumulating
that the savageries of civilization along
the Congo "Valley are more horrible than
any of the other manifestations of civil
ized oppression.
Consider the Boys.
Atchison Globe.
Treat a boy with the same considera
tion and politeness you would treat a
grown person. Every man has recol
lections of unfairness and inconsidera
tlon to which he was subjected when
he was a boy. Bring up the subject and
every man will relate wrongs of his
youth which cut him deeply, and which
never ceased to rankle In his bosom. No
doubt some of the meanness in men got
its start in the bad blood germinated In
their youth.
His Hallucinations.
Nashville American.
Mr. Bryan is not a man of weak mind,
but he suggests a mind lacking in proper
balance. He seems to be one of those. In
the language of Macaulay, whose "imag
ination exercises a despotic power. It
turns the clouds into gigantic shape's and
the winds into doleful voices. The belief
which springs from it is more absolute
and undoubtlng than any which can be
derived from evidence."
Plain Truth of It.
Omaha Bee.
It was plain that the New York plat
form did not Bult Colonel Bryan even
before he said so. But when It comes
down to brass tacks the New York plat
form was not framed with any Idea that
it would be calculated to suit Colonel
Bryan.
9 1
Republican Asset.
Milwaukee Sentinel.
Mr. Bryan evidently means to justify
tho current definition of himself as a
"valuable Republican asset" Falling to
rule his party, he will ruin it if he can.
Cursed With Wealth.
Atchison Globe.
Speaking of the misfortune of riches
there is the woman who is a good'eook!
but who is rich enough to engage a hired
girl, who is a poor one.
Only One.
Springfield (Mas3.) Republican.
It may be cruel to say so, but about
the only man In sight who seems capable
of meeting the Bryan test of a candidate
is Mr. Bryan himself.
Green Grow the Rashes O!
Robert Burns.
Green grots- the rashes O,
Green grow the rashes O; N
The sweetest hours that e'er I spend
Are spent aznang the lasses O.
There's naught but care on ev'ry han..
In every hour that passes O;
What signifies the life o man.
An' 'twere na for the lasses 0
The warMy race may riches chase,
An riches still may fly them O;
A' though at last they catch them fast,
Their hearts can ne'er enjoy them O.
Gle me a canny hour at e'en,
-Oly arms about my dearie O,
An' warly cares an warly men
May a gae tapsalteerle O!
, For you sae douce, ye sneer at this;
Ye're naught but senseless asses O!
The wisest man the warl e'er saw
He dearly lo'ed the lasses O.
Auld Nature swears, the lovely dears
Her noblest work she classes O: ,
Her prenUce han' she tried on man.
An' then sha made the lasses O.
- Ji0TB'ADCOHMENT.
"Dr. Livingstone, I presume."
'
It's kind of risky to be- a sheep around
about Lakevlew.
Dean looks with approval oa a fast
life. It meets him half-way.
Astoria will hava its relic back, as a
Portlander wickedly observed, to com
plete the set
Sf a girl with "melting brown eyes"
knows how to use them sh'e becomes a
regular smelter.
Lhassa will be awakened from the
sleep of centuries by the alarm-clock of
civilization the machine gun.
Even in one of those peek-a-bco shirt
waists, a gin with really red hair can't
look cobl on a Summer's day.
Kuropatkln must be feeling blue. Tha
Japanese "nave not been lured into cap
turing a big town for several days.
Two La Grande boys are said to have
spent a pleasant April in killing 122 squir
rels; a couple- of gophers and a badger.
"It's a 'eavenly morning; let's go and
kill something." -.
The health officers of Boston set. an
official limit to the number of bugs that
may bo sold In one glass of milk. One
hundred million Is tho number and
dealers that sell more will be prose
cuted. A woman in New York read so many
"health" magazines that sho became
crazy, and resolved to abstain from all
food. The idea was all right and tha
woman escaped tho ills that flesh la
heir to by dying.
The boomers of microbes point with
pride to the statement that in five years
almost one-third of tha members of New
York's street cleaning department have
fallen victims to tuberculosis as the re
sult of snuffing up the dust sent a-fiying
by the brooms.
The Heppner Times, says a watchful
contemporary, reports that a woman on
Butter Creek placed a bucket of cream
in the well. During the night a frog
fell in and, to keep his head above, water,
he began kicking vigorously. When tho
woman arrived in the morning she found
the frog sitting on a pat of butter, wash
ing, his feet in tho buttermilk.
Mayor Williams received a circular
from a Southern sanitarium, a few days
ago. He read of tha loyely valley in
which the establishment was placed, tha
circular winding up a burst of descrip
tion by saying this lovely valley was a
"rosy dimple on the cheek of creation."
Then Mayor Williams had to give it up.
Now that Earnest Terah Hooley has
come within the scope of the law, he
is ilkcly to be soaked for fair. After
his "bankruptcy" he lived in splendor
although the shareholders in his com
panies were not equally fortunate. Pro
moters have privileges In Great Britain,
but when one of them oversteps the
dead line he stands a good chance of
getting punished for the offenses of the
rest
A worthy traveler on the path of riches
used to advertise from Macomb, Neb.,
that he would Impart the secret of gain
ing love for 25 cents one quarter. His
letter In response to a remittance was
full of. sound advice, such as the edi
torial page of the New York Journal
frequently hands out, but it ended with
"Yours' for suckers." This unkind term
InationNrankled in the breasts of several
swains to such an extent that they had
a fraud order issued by the Postoffice
Department against the friend of suckers.
It seems hard that a man who In a
small way follows Mr. Hearst and Presi
dent Roosevelt in the elevation of the
trite should be deprived of the use of
the mails, even if he did send his letters
with a disturbing admission of his alms.
"I saw 'Hamlet' played by and adapted
for Malays at Singapore," says a corre
spondent of the Sydney Bulletin; "It was
sung instead of spoken, and mostly to
English tunes. Hamlet addressed the
Ghost to the tune of 'Her Golden Hair,'
and killed Polonlus to 'Listen to the
Band.' Polonius addressed his son to
That's English. You Know,' and with
tho king and queen, sang 'Mary Was
a Housemaid' to other'words. The ghost
scene included three ghosts, two clowns,
and a bpttle of whisky." The Malays
have hit upon the right thing to do.
Managers in this country complain that
the public taste is such that Shakespeare
Is a dead one so far as money-making
Is concerned. The fault lies with the
managers themselves. Let them popu
larize Shakespeare in the way Indicated
by tho untutored Asiatics, althouga it
might not be necessary to introduce too
much of the clown, slap-stick and whisky
features. But good, lively music would
be" a great addition. Juliet might sing,
"If You Ain't Got No Money, You
Needn't Come Around," and the part of
Othello would prove a winner if taken by
a good black-face comedian. It is un
necessary, however, to enlarge upon a
scheme possessing such obvious advant
ages. WEX. J.
OUT OFTHE GINGER JAR.
Tactful?" "Very. She lives as far Beyond
her income of S50 a week almost women
could 11 e beyond an Income of $100 a week."
Puck.
There are only two kinds of children your
own perfect little cherubs and the Ill-behaved
brats ownedby other people. Town
Topics.
Church I see a New York man ha3 dis
covered a new object in the sky. Flatbush,
Gracious! Can't it be the lid? Yonkers
Statesman.
She What Is your business? He I'm an in
spector of ruins. She How romantic! He
Well, hardly. I'm -an insurance adjuster.
Cleveland Leader.
In Ave minutes a woman can clean up a
man's room In such a way that It will take
him five weeks to find out where she put
things New Yorker.
"I don't know whether she has shaken him
or promised to marry him." "Why?" "He
has stopped buying extravagant presents for
her." Philadelphia Ledger.
Bill It is said that the Indian banyan tree
has at times sheltered as" many as 7000 persons.
Jill The Mormons should adopt it as a family
tree. Yonkers Statesman.
"Who is that awfully freckled girl over there
in the corner?" "Why. that's Mlas Bullion,
the great helres3." "Aren't her freckles be
coming?" Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Artist I spent several weeks on that
picture. The Critic Well, I've spent nearly
as much time as thafon it myself. What
In the world is It? Yonkers Statesman.
"Ha!" exclaimed the villain between cig
arette puffs, "I'll follow you to the ends of
the earth!" "Oh no, you won't," calmly re
joined the golden-bewigged heroine. "Why
won't- I?" queried the vUlaln. "Because,"
answered her ladyship, 'T not going there.
See?" Chicago News.