'6 fHE MORNING OBEGONIAN, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 6, 1904. Wkt Bu$mxm Entered at tbc Postofflce at Portland, Or., as second-class matter. REVISED SUBSCRIPTION RATES. By mall (postage prepaid In advance) Dally, -with Sunday, per month $0.85 Dally, with Sunday excepted, per Tear.. 7.30 Dally, with Sunday, per year 9.00 Sunday, per year .. 2.00 The Weekly, per year 1.50 The Weekly, 3 months 50 Dally, per -week, delivered, Sunday excepted.l5c Dally, per -week, delivered, Sunday lncluded.20c- POSTAGE RATES. United States, Canada and Mexico 10 to 14-pago paper lc 10 to 30-page paper c 82 to 44-page paper 3" Foreign rates double. The Orcgonlan does not buy poems or Btories from Individuate, and cannot undertake to return any manuscript eent to It -without solicitation. No stamps should be Inclosed for this purpose. EASTERN BUSINESS OFFICES. (The S. C. Beckwltli Special Agency) "New York: Rooms 43-49. Tribune Building. Chicago: Rooms 510-512 Tribune Building. KEPT ON SALE. Chicago Auditorium annex; Postofflce "News Co., 217 Dearborn street. Demer Julius Black, Hamilton & Hend rick. 906-912 Seventeenth et.: Louthan & Jack eon, Fifteenth and Lawrence. Kansas City Rlcksecker Cigar Co., Ninth and Walnut. Los Angeles B. F. Gardner, 259 South Spring; Oliver & Haines. 205. South Spring, and Harry Drapkin. Minneapolis M. J. Kavanaugh, 50 South Third; L. Regelsbugor, 317 First Avenue South. New York City L. Jones & Co., Astor House. Ogden W. C. Alden, Postofflce Cigar Store; F. R. Godard; W. G. Kind, 114 25th St. Omaha Barkalow Bros.. 1012 Farnam; .McLaughlin Bros., 210 South 14th; Megeatb Stationery Co., 1308 Farnam. Salt Lake Salt Lake News Co., 77 West Second South Street. St. Louis World's Fair News Co. San Fraucibco J. K. Cooper Co., 740 Mar ket, near Palace Hotel; Foster & Orear. Ferry News Stand; Goldsmith Bros., 230 Sutter; L. "E. Lee. Palace Hotel News Stand; F. W. Pitts, 1008 Market; Frank Scott, SO Ellis; N. Wheat ley, 83 Stevenson; Hotel Francis Newe Stand. Washington, 1). C. Ed Brlnkman, Fourth and Pacific Ave., N. W.; Ebbltt House News Stand. YESTERDAY'S WEATHER Maximum tem perature, 58 degrees; minimum temperature, 00 degrees; total precipitation. 0.30 Inches. TODAY'S WEATHER Partly cloudy, with showers; warmer; westerly winds. PORTLAND, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 0, 1904. THE MUNICIPAL COW. Woodburn Is a quiet little village in a beautiful and fertile agricultural section of Marlon County. Its citizens are In iharmony upon most questions affect ing the peace and dignity of the village. Being an incorporated town, they hold annual elections. The main point -of difference disclosed at these elections is expressed in the question, "Shall cows be allowed to run at large in the city limits?" Year after year this ques tion is decided In the affirmative, after a hot canvass, by a large majority. The annual election that was held there last Monday was a repetition of similar events in past years. The liberty of the streets and such dcoryards, gardens and orchards as she can manage to in vade by energetic efforts In the night time has been guaranteed to the family cow in Woodburn for another year by a vote of two to one. And yet it Is said that the "poor widow" element Is not a ruling factor in that village, nor are the villagers generally averse to clean streets, nor do they, as the old lady In "Cranford," look upon the municipal cow "as a daughter," to be cherished by the family and when shivering Jn the blasts of Winter to be protected by "flannel waistcoat and drawers" to make her comfortable. The phase of village life which guar antees the freedom of the streets to the family cow Is nothing new. It is common to the chrysalis state in which villages remain for longer or shorter periods, according to the vigor of the life that stirs within them. It Is char acteristic, not of a transition from rural to town life, but of the tenacity -with which steady-going, tender-hearted folk cling to their Idols. The municipal cow is an epitome of tradition, affection, usefulness and gentleness. She Is dear to the hearts of the children, and, if we may believe the assertions of parti sans In the annual cow campaign that distracts villages, she is the chief de pendence of the multitudinous poor widow in their midst. Her owner has, moreover, "always kept a cow"; his forefathers rejoiced in a similar possession. And why should people who are too .lazy to keep a cow, or too aristocratic 'to bend the knee and manipulate the udder, Interfere with the ancient and accepted conditions that permitted thrifty village folk to revel in an abundance of fresh milk and cream and make their own butter? No satisfactory answer has ever yet been given to this questolon. It Is safe to say there never will be one. Every village must either outgrow Its cow era or It must plod along on its unsightly, malodorous streets to the music of tink ling bells, Indefinitely. Forced growth in this line is impossible. The "two-to-one vote" in favor of the freedom of the municipal cow, which Is recorded year after year with unvarying same ness, is in striking evidence of this fact. Whatever may be true in this respect In wider communities, in semi-rural municipalities throughout the land the masses rule the classes; the family cow Is at the head of the ticket her triumph at the hustings assured. DANGER IN GREAT WEALTH. Mr. Andrew Carnegie would esteem It a privilege and an eminently moral and proper duty to contribute $500,000 or $1,000,000 to assist President Roosevelt in his political battle with Wall street for nomination at Chicago. .We have nothing to say against the use to which Mr. Carnegie proposes to dedicate some part of his fortune or against the cor rectness of the impulse which moves him in antagonism to the President's Wall-street opponents. But suppose Mr. Carnegie was of an other mind. Suppose he felt that the President's course in the anthracite strike and in the Northern Securities prosecution stamped him as an unsafe and dangerous man whose defeat at Chicago or in November was demanded by evej-y consideration of public policy and common honesty. Then would it be possible for those who now welcome him to view his financial activity with equanimity or approval? It is only a little while ago that Mr. Carnegie offered to subscribe some $20, 000,000 to set the Filipinos free. If we assume that this was a meddlesome and unwise proposal, It does not require a very vivid Imagination to picture a rich man of Mr. Carnegie's Impulsive tem perament, but without his judgment or conscience, running amuck in our poli tics and society, handing out millions to defeat reforms or accomplish nefarious undertakings which could not possibly win popular approval. It Is the hardest thing in the world to bestow great wealth vithout doing more harm with it than good. Some of the Scotch towns and universities that have been selected for his charities are already complaining that he is exerting a pauperizing tendency and undermin ing the sturdy Independence which has hitherto been the backbone of Scottish life. Thp young man who works his way through college is likely to be stronger for life's battle than If some rich man like Carnegie pays his way. Some of us are superstitious enough yet to distrust the beneficence of gifts that come from money made in ques tionable ways. Some of us never look for a blessing to go with fortunes piled up from gambling or liquor-selling. Some of us doubt whether Chicago Uni versity, with all Rockefeller's millions, exerts a net influence for good equal to that of one small college like Will lams or Bowdoln, supported by gifts all hardly earned and bestowed each one with a prayer of consecration. Some of us wonder If the money made by Mr. Carnegie through high tariffs would not have achieved more for honesty and happiness if It had been originally di vided between consumers In lower prices and the miners in higher wages. MR. ELLIOTT'S EXTREMITY. City Engineer Elliott will probably find some difficulty In satisfying the Taxpayers' League; for the simple rea son that It requires him to travel In two distinctly opposite directions at the same time. Much is required and ex pectedof publlcofficlals; but In this case the demand is more than usually exact ing. A week or eo ago the Taxpayers' League studied the City Engineer's of fice and came to this conclusion: The Engineer should be an authority on the subject, a leader, not a follower. There should be specifications that will produce re sults. Inspections that inspect. The Engineer should be an educator of the people brave enough to withstand popular clamor, strong enough to do things. Instead of allowing the people to b driven hither and thither by the conflicting claims of Interested paving contractors he should. If necessary, protect them from themselves. The facts In the case before us are sufficient to show the kind of talent required In the office of the City Engineer. We are spending hundreds of thousands of dollars a year now: on streets, and bedeviled and bewildered property-holders have no place to go for advice, no one on whom to lean, and the result Is our picturesque If Impassable streets. Now again the Taxpayers' League has studied the City Engineer's office, and what does It conclude? That the City Engineer should be a leader, brave enough to withstand popular clamor? That he should rule his department as with a rod of Iron and show meddlers the door? That he should be the en gineer himself, a place for the public to go for advice, for a strong tower on which to lean? Nay, verily. That was well enough In March; but In April he should be a reed shaken by the wind. He should be swayed around and buffaloed and In general incapacitated by yielding to the Taxpayers' League or the Executive Board or any old Influence that comes along. His subordinates should report to the City Auditor, and be subject to dismissal by the Executive Board. In stead of having his Inspectors show up early in the morning at the work under their charge, they should be at the office at 8 o'clock so that somebody or other can observe their goings out and their comings in and report to the Execu tive Board or the Taxpayers' League or possibly the Auditor. How strong a City Engineer would become -when hedged about by these petty restric tions, how safe a pillar on which the public may lean, any business man can figure out in a moment. We incline to think the Taxpayers' League did a little worse on Its second thought than on Its first Perhaps if Mr. Elliott has erred in his ad ministration it has been on the side of too great lenience with the Buttinskis, possibly including members of the polit ical' organization to which he belongs. It is the very general Impression that his office has been made the conven-. ience of political workers In need of a job. If the Taxpayers' League has found this out, and has the courage to say so, it will not lose anything In pop ular estimation. And If this sort of thing has been going on, it should be stopped. A good way for the Mitchell organi zation to commend Itself to the business element, where it has been weak here tofore. Is to work a reform In the mat ter of superfluous deputies- at the City Hall and the Courthouse. An Incidental lesson, of Sheriff Storey's recent ex ploits Is not likely to be lost upon the community. It, was not to his credit If he weakly yielded to solicitations for appointment of unnecessary deputies. We think that Portland has confidence In Mr. Elliott's capacity, purposes and energy, and that It will have more if he asserts himself along the lines of the original advice of the Taxpayers' League. OLD LADIES' HOMES. The attendance upon the annual tea, held under the auspices of the Old La dies' Home Society of this city, testifies each passing year to the growing inter est of the community In the develop ment of the purpose to provide. In due time, a pleasant and cheerful abiding- place for aged gentlewomen who, through reverse of fortune or because they are "alone In the world," need the protection and comfort of such a home. This Idea has been elaborated In many older and wealthier communities, in suring the care, pleasure and comfort, to many worthy women thus situated that can only come with a settled abiding-place suited to the needs of aged women and -the care which Is requisite to their comfort. The Louise Home In Washington, D. C. founded and endowed by the late Hon. W. W. Corcoran as a monument to his wife, who died in her youth, but whose brief years were Instinct with loving kindness toward those who walked In life's lengthening shadows, Is a conspicuous example of an institu tion of this kind. The Crocker Home In Oakland Is another object-lesson In the same line, and there are a number of others of similar character In differ ent parts of the country. The Patton Home, in the northeastern part of- this city, has for a number of years been, according to Its'" means, what is implied In the name of an Old Ladles' Home. Its beginnings were In the donation of the late Matthew Pat ton an honored pioneer of the block of land upon which It stands. The building represents the self-denying ef fort of years on the part of a devoted band of philanthropists. Through their efforts and the public Interest which they have awakened the Home has been all that Its name Implies to a number of women in every way worthy of care and consideration. It Is recalled, also, that one man, of refined and gentle na ture a musician, who knew more about harmony than finance, and who was without a home In the Winter of life found in this Institution gracious wel come and generous care until he went smiling and serene to join the choir In visible. This and similar examples of care and consideration shown to that mos't sensitive of all human beings, the helpless and homeless aged, constitutes the unwritten history of this and sim ilar institutions, the bare statement of the facts conveying little Idea of the true beneficence of their work. The Patton Home is, however, distinct in Its organization, though similar In purpose, from the work which has been undertaken by the Old Ladles Home Society which gave gracious welcome to all who chose to attend the reception given In Its name last Monday. The nucleus of its endeavor is in what Is known as the Betty Farmer bequest of $1000. received frdm the estate of Mrs. Farmer some years ago, and a bequest of $15,000 of the late Hon. H. W. Cor bett, which in due time will constitute, with the first-named sum and some other moneys that have been accumu lated, an endowment fund for the main tenance of a Home that It Is the pur pose of the society to build when, In the judgment of its financiers, the proper time comes. It possesses, through the further generosity of the late Henry W. Corbett, a beautiful building site on the East Side, and the custodians of the property hope within a few years to place a suitable building thereon. This hope will without doubt be realized in due time. The effort is one with which true philanthropy is In full sympathy. HOPE FOR THE FAIR BILL. Whether the Lewis and Clark Fair appropriation should be won or lost, nobody can help applauding the grit of Its supporters In clinging on in spite of every rebuff that meets them. All ac counts agree in crediting Mr. Tawney with great fidelity and diplomacy; and his actions have earned for him as they should secure the friendship and Inter est of every loyal Oregonian at every future opportunity focreciprocatlng his good offices. Good turns like this should be remembered. Confidently as we hope for the ulti mate passage of the bill, we would not seek to Ignore or minimize the difficul ties. It is pretty certain, for example, that the Oregon men had gathered Into the House on Monday every member fa vorable to the bill whom they could find. A larger vote for it. therefore, Is hardly to be looked for. Another mani fest discouragement Is the undisguised opposition of influential Republican leaders, like Payne and Dalzell. Their hostility is based on a firm conviction that neither this request nor any other should be suffered to swell the total ap propriations of the session, which will have to be shouldered by the Republi cans in the ensuing campaign, both Presidential and Congressional. This antagonism Is not likely to be lessened as time goes on and other appropria tions pile np. What we must expect on these lines is foreshadowed in the determined stand against the bill made by John Sharp Williams, of Mississippi, the able and resourceful leader of the Demo cratic opposition. It will be Incumbent upon Mr. Williams, at the close of this session, to prepare and promulgate to the country an array of the acts of the Republican Congress, so contrived as to emphasize the amounts of its appropri ations. The sums appropriated for St. Louis and for Portland, if any, will form a noteworthy feature of Mr. Will lams' exhibit, and will lend point to his charge that the Republicans are ex travagant. A consciousness of this ar gument ex'plalns both the opposition of leading Democrats, who might other wise be friendly, and the reluctance of leading Republicans, who would almost certainly be. This is why, no doubt, Mr. Tawney has forborne to ask for the long-expected rule. A special rule Is customar ily Invoked only as the last resort of a party measure whose necessity Is rec ognized by the party and for whose purpose the party is willing to go on record. The party leaders have natur ally hesitated to assume this responsi bility for another fair appropriation, and instead they have afforded Mr. Tawney every facility for getting his bill passed without recourse to the des perate expedient of a special rule. All that could be done has been done to facilitate the passage of the bill, under suspension and under privilege, and Speaker Cannon obviously was ready to declare the bill passed if he had not been arrested by Democratic obstruc tionists. Under these circumstances any hesitation in the committee on rules need not cause surprise. Without a realization of these difficul ties, no true apprehension of the full meaning of ultimate success can be had; and yet there are many as strong or stronger reasons for confidence. First of these Is the absolute promise of Speaker Cannon that the desired rule will be forthcoming In the event of a last extremity. Under that rule a ma jority will pass the bill. The Senate still has in reserve an amendment to the sundry civil bill, which, once in serted, It is past belief the House would throw out. In every issue of this kind the chances of weakening are always greater with those who are ostensibly guarding the treasury In deference to some abstract theory than with those who are anxiously striving for some definite, concrete thing they very much desire. We should not be surprised, therefore, to see members In the House, who have measurably satisfied their conscience and established a record, now give way in deference to the urgent appeals that will be made to them, in obedience to the desires of the majority, and In a fuller recognition of the historical mer its of the celebration than they have felt before. It would be very natural IC some members, heretofore rather un decided, should be favorably influenced by the open declarations made on the floor of the House by men like Major Lacey, of Iowa, for the Republicans, and Champ Clark,- of Missouri, for the Democrats. The remarks of Livingston and Bartlett, of Georgia, are also well calculated to encourage Southern Dem ocrats to support the bill. Doubtless some part of the Southern Influence In favor of the appropriation Is traceable to a belief in the South that the people of Oregon are not unreasonably bitter toward the South In Its efforts to solve Its own peculiar and difficult problems. Humanitarians who believe In extend ing the protection and experience of wisdom to young girls In their Inno cence, rather than in reformatory effort after they have been led astray, have sounded a serious and sonorous note of alarm in furtherance of this purpose. It is stated by circulars sent out under the authority of the Woman's Christian Association that has established head quarters in St. Louis, that an organiza tion pledged to secure for the purposes of an abhorrent traffic some hundreds or thousands of girls between the ages I or-12 and IS years and bring them to that city during the Summer has been formed and is already engaged in active endeavor in this line. The plan as stated is to send agents Into rural or suburban communities with instructions to engage girls to come on to St. Louis under promise of remunerative and of course honest employment In connec tion with the Fair. When these unso phisticated damsels arrive they are to be met by other agents of the organi zation, or syndicate, and misled to their ruin. Incredible as these statements are, their truth is vouched for by women whose names stand high upon the muster rolls of philanthropy, and this alarm Is being sounded over their signatures. If this danger exists, It Is an appalllng one, and the alarm may well be sounded in every community that expects to furnish Its quota of vis itors to the great Fair. It Is In the power of parents to defeat, by the ex ercise of the most ordinary prudence, these monstrous schemes of the vile, by seeing to It that-3$gir young -daughters do not go to the Fair unless properly chaperoned. If father and mother, one or both, cannot go, let them see to It that their young daughters do not go alone where the snares of the tempter are spread for the feet of the uawary. Parental Ignorance In such matters Is inexcusable, and parental Indifference is a crime. The danger may be exag gerated, but that It exists In a degree cannot be doubted. Abuses that trench upon vlleness belong to great crowds, for whatever purpose they congregate. Ignorance Is the witless handmaiden of these abuses. Parental Indifference Is their great procurer. It Is well enough to sound this alarm, even if an exag gerated one, In order that these two forceful auxiliaries, of a vile traffic may be put out of commission. In this view the warnings of the good women who have this matter In hand cannot have a too wide publicity. The general conference of the Meth odist Episcopal Church will be held In Los Angeles next month. A strenuous time Is already foreshadowed. Among the seemingly irreconcilable points of difference that will come before the quadrennial body will be a rule of 32 years' standing In the church which for bids dancing, cardplaylng, going to the aters and participation In other amuse ments of the more worldly sort. Whether this rule Is abrogated or not. It Is plain to the ordinary observer that relatively few Methodists who belong to city churches now observe It. The coun try delegates, led by the old-fashioned ministers, will. It is said, insist upon the retention of the rule, while the city delegates, Including the pastors, will speak and vote for Us abrogation. The general conference has In late years held many stormy sessions. Progressive measures, comporting with changing social conditions and religious convic tions, have generally prevailed. If pre cedent Is followed, the rule In regard to -amusements that are de'emed "sinful" will be abolished, though not without earnest protest on the one hand and urgent appeal on the other. Whatever disagreements may have arisen at times over alleged unfair treatment In regard to rates, the fact remains that the O. R. & N. Co. and Its connections lying to the eastward is the only railroad system that has ever done anything for Portland. It is also a fact that both of the Northern roads have spent millions to build up the Puget Sound cities and divert trade from Portland territory to those cities. It is possible that these facts may have caused the suggestion made by Mr. Wilcox at the banquet in Mr. Mohler's honor to the effect that Portland should throw all of the business possi ble to the Harrlman roads. Mr. Harrl man has within the past few months given Portland as good an Oriental steamship service as that of any other port north of San Francisco, arranged for the construction of a railroad into Central Oregon, and given positive as surance that the Rlparia-Lewlstonroad will be built. Portland will reap lib eral benefits from these Improvements, and can afford to co-operate with the men who are supplying them. The stupendous character of the re clamation service is just beginning to be outlined by the work of the engi neers of the Geological Survey. The construction of some of the largest dams and canals In the world is fore shadowed by the surveys of the past two years. Difficult problems confront the engineers. These Involve new and unsolved questions, and present phys ical features that have to be carefully studied before actual work is begun. The engineering colleges were never be fore so full of students as now, and from present Indications every Intelli gent, energetic, purposeful young man who is wrestling with engineering prob lems In technical schools will And him self with plenty to do when he receives his degree. As in all other vocations, there Is room at the top, and the young man who leaves college a few years hence, equipped with the technical knowledge that will enable him to solve problems In irrigation, mining and con struction, will reach the top, not by slow and toilsome stages, but by easy ascent. There seems to be enough spectacular detail in connection with the arrest of Mr3. Emma Watson, alleged Oregon land swindler, to qualify her for an Im mediate debut on the stage as soon as she gets clear of the land frauds. Aside from the fact that she is "chic" in ap pearance, wears an "expensively trimmed hat and patent leather boots," the waiting world Is Informed that a man in a red automobile took from her boarding-house a trunk "filled with laces and gowns," and that he was also intrusted with a chamois bag "reported to have contained $40,000 In uncut dia monds." Further detail Is supplied In the information that the Deputy Mar shal who arrested her carried two re volvers as "a part of his equipment." This latter precaution was to prevent a rescue by "powerful friends" who were alleged to be plotting to save her, but if she brings along the uncut diamonds, fine gowns, laces, etc., and is as pretty and chic as reported, the Marshal may need them to warn off kidnapers In search of a good thing. Portland's long lead over all other Pacific Coast ports In the wheat ship ping business continues to Increase, an other big carrier being chartered yes terday to load for Europe. This latest craft secured for Portland loading comes north in ballast from Sari Fran cisco, where she was unable to secure any outward business. The export wheat business Is practically ended for the season at every other Pacific Coast port but Portland, but this city still holds large stocks, not only of wheat, but of other grain, and will continue shipping right tip to the coming of an-other-eeason. THE DEMOCRATIC DILEMMA. John Sharp Williams. Meridian Star. There Is no necessity for Mississippi or any other Southern State being In a great hurry about expressing preferences for Presidential candidates, but It will be well enough to keep an eye on the distinguish ed statesman from this state, whose great ability and eminent fitness for the high office with which his name has been con nected is universally recognized. There is not a man in either branch of Congress who commands to a greater degree the confidence of Democrats and Republicans alike than John S. Williams, and If dele gates to the National Convention are to be burdened with Instructions they should be instructed to cast the vote of this state for him. His Lost Cause. Sioux City Journal. It would be something pathetic to find Mr. Bryan at the St. Louis Convention looking up some delegate from his own or another state for a ticket of admission. It would be something appealing to sym pathy to sec him a minority delegate from Nebraska rising In his humble place to hold aloft the tattered banner of a lost cause. But in Nebraska, as everywhere, cruelty Is the rule In polltlca If men will not adjust themselves to the . conditions of their time they will find conditions nevertheless inexorable. If they will not sidestep before the great wheels that go round and round they will be cast down and ground In the dust. Author of a Panic. Washington Post. No one questions the capabity of Mr. Olnoy to fill the Presidential office ad mirably. He is of full Presidential size. But his candidacy is based on the assump tion that he would be acceptable to certain business Interests that are alleged to be bitterly hostile to Mr. Roosevelt. Yet, is it not a fact that Mr. Olney, as Secretary of State, wag the author of a panic In Wall street? How does his reputation for conservatism comport with that dispatch to the British Government which gave Wall street the most unpleasant after noon It had experienced in many an event ful year? Jingoes applauded that ex tremely risky bit of diplomacy, but Wall street trembled. No Southern Man. Charleston News and Courier. If we are entirely frank with ourselves and with the great outside public we must admit that our political stability In the last few years has not been of a character to strengthen us In the good opinion of the people of the rest of the country. No Southern man ought to be nominated for President by the Democrats at their next National Convention, and no South ern man ought to be elected President of the United States unUl the Democratic party which he represents shall stand firmly upon the great principle forming the basis of Its character and achieve ments in the illustrious past. The Biggest Figure. Austin Chronicle. There are numberless thousands of Dem ocrats, loyal, faithful nnd devoted, who steadfastly believe that Grover Cleveland la the only Democrat who can defeat Theodore Roosevelt, and Mr. Cleveland is by all odds the biggest figure looming up today against the Presldenlal horizon. His courage no man doubts. His ability is be yond question, and while he has been the subject of unmeasured abuse, his integrity of conviction, purpose or action has never been successfully Impeached. Speaking of Gratitude. Louisville Post. Representative Webb, of North Carolina, says very truthfully that. "Mr. Cleveland was the friend of the colored man"; nevertheless this did. not- prevent the Southern politicians from Joining in the Democratic conspiracy to destroy the sec ond Cleveland administration. Today they are applauding Mr. Cleveland for the help they gave him, but when he wanted their help he could not get it. If the people of the South have any gratitude for what Mr. Cleveland has done they Bhould change their leaders. Judge Parker's Merits. Albany Argus. At the head of the highest court of the greatest state In the Union sits In digni fied retirement from party strife a Demo crat whom all men love and respect. He Is no self-seeker. He has no enemies. He Is no- factlonlst, no place hunter. His reputation Is National. His attainments .are of Presidential size. His Democracy Is beyond cavil. His patriotism, his In tegrity, his conservatism and common sense are known everywhere. Parker's Handicap. New York World. August Belmont, the subterranean sprite of rapid transit; Patrick McCarren, who for conjectural reasons last Fall De stroyed and now seeks to restore Brook lyn's "autonomy;" ex-Senator Hill, the stormy petrel of political disaster; ex Senator, Murphy, Crokers friend in short, pretty nearly all the men who for ten years have led the New York State Democracy to defeat favor Judge Par ser's nomination. Dead as a Doornail. Richmond Times-Dispatch. Mr. Bryan was nominated on'the plat form of 1S35 and defeated; Mr. Cleveland was nominated on the platform of 1S92 and elected by a handsome majority. Bryan and free silver lost In 1896; Cleve land and tariff reform triumphed In 1S92. In 1904 free silver Is as dead as slavery or secession and William J. Bryan Is not mentioned as a Presidential possibility. An Irresistible Sweep. Charlotte Chronicle. A talk with political leaders In Wash ington makes one thing plain the Cleve land wave Is coming along with an Irre sistible sweep. "He Is the only man that Democrats can with with," Is what one hears on all sides. Tho Chronicle's ob servations In recent days leads it to be lieve that Cleveland's nomination will be Inevitable. Parker or Hearst? Albany Argus. There are two candidates In sight, Par ker and Hearst; no more and no less. Which does New York want? That Is all there Is to the question today. The answer, In Ironclad Parker delegates, already promises to be emphatic and unequivocal. Its Mind Made Up. Mobile Register. The South, or that conservative element of the South which forms its greatest po litical force, has definitely made up Its mind. In the matter of the Democratic nomination for the Presidency and looks with hope to the nomination of Grover Cleveland. Could Be Elected. Richmond Times-Dispatch. If the Democratic convention should take up Cleveland and nominate him by acclamation we have no doubt that he would be elected by a splendid majority. Right at Home. Omaha Bee. Mr. Bryan does not have to go so far to find the "enemy's country" this year. A Horrjd Example. Louisville (Ky.) Courier-Journal (Dem.) We shall see what we shall see. Nor need we be discouraged. In the long run, Mr. Hearst may serve as a horrid exam ple, showing Democrats their danger, drawing them nearer together, and. In Y"i a onrl iAlntf mnra rsfA tVinn Tti-r T . us at least hope so. SOME MORE WINSTON STORIES. Spokane Spokesman-Review. "Down In North Carolina," said Colonel Winston once. In describing how he came to bear a military title, "there was an old tavernkeeper whose custom It was to con fer a title on all his guests. One day he would address every man who came to his hostelry as 'Judge," the next day as Ma jor," the next day as 'General. and so on. The day I arrived he was dealing In Colonelcies. He addressed me as 'Colo nel Winston and 'Colonel Winston I have remained ever since. Had I arrived a day later I would have been a Gen eral." When Colonel Winston was United States District Attorney his deputy was P. C. ("Charlie") Sullivan, afterward defeated for Governor In 1SS6. Sullivan's absolute disregard for his personal appearance has passed into a proverb. When he ran for Governor he was called P. "Coatless" Sul livan. One day Senator Dolph, of Ore gon, came to Tacoma and Colonel Win ston called on him at his hotel. Then the Colonel hied himself to Mr. Sullivan's of fice. "Charlie," he said, "you used to know Senator Dolph, didn't you?" "Yes, over a dozen years ago." "Well, you ought to go and call on him while he's In town." "Oh, there'd be no use of that. Colonel; he wouldn't remember me," protested Sul livan. "He hasn't seen me for nearly 15 years." "Yes, he would remember you, Charlie, I'm sure he would," persisted Colonel Win ston. "Why, how would he remember me?" demanded Sullivan. "Why, he'd know you by your clothes, Charlie," returned Colonel Winston with an air of conviction. In 1S92 Colonel Winston, single-handed. tackled Judge L. B. Nash, of Spokane, and Judge Thomas Carroll, of Tacoma, In a Joint debate at North Yakima. The latter was the Democratic nominee for Congress. Judge Nash spoke first and dilated at great length on the fact that Colonel Winston was an "ex-rebel," while Mr. Carroll was an old Union soldier, who car ried rebel lead In his body. Then It came Colonel Winston's turn. "If Judge Carroll," he said, "has rebel lead In his body I honor him for It. I honor any brave soldier of the Republic. But. my friends, I didn't shoot him. No Republican shot him. I never smelled pow der during the war. But If Judge Carroll wants to find the man that shot him, let him go down to North Carolina. He'll find him there, yelling his lungs out for Grover Cleveland and free trade." In 1892, while speaking In the open air at Everett. Colonel Winston was Interrupted by a noisy Populist, who insisted on ask ing him a question. "Do you think, Colonel," he demanded, "that there is an equal distribution of wealth In this country?" "No, sir, -I do not think so," answered Colonel Winston. "And that's not the only thing that Isn't equally distributed. For example," bending his shining pate down where the audience could see It. "I'm willing to swear that there Isn't an equal distribution of hair in this country-" That Populist asked no more questions that night. The Populist- Convention of ISM refused to nominate Colonel Winston for. Con gress, chiefly because he was a lawyer. After the convention was over Colonel Winston came home to Spokane, and on the way home he talked politics with a chance acquaintance on the train. "Do these Populists think, Colonel" began the stranger, when Colonel Winston Interrupted him. "Think!" he exclaimed. "Good Lord, man! What has a Populist got to think with?" Honeymoon of NeFIsons and Walls. New York American. Frank T. Wall, tho cordage- magnate,, who so bitterly opposed the marriage of his daughter to Jules Blanc Nellson. brother of Mrs. Reggie Vanderbllt, a week ago, was married himself to Miss Emily Unckles Wednesday. After the ceremony the happy couple raced in a gayly be decked carriage to the Pennsylvania de pot and boarded a train for Washington. It Is understood the recently wedded Nell sons will Join them In a trip to Palm Beach, where the double honeymoon will be spent. The feature of the wedding that Inter ested society was that it meant a re conciliation between Jules Blanc Neilson's bride and her father, who refused to give his consent to the marriage when It was first proposed. After Nellson had taken his bride from the Wall residence and had gone to Phila delphia with her he announced that Mr. Wall himself was about to marry, and the cordage magnate, who had Intended to have his own wedding In secret, then hur riedly Issued invitations for a seml-prlvate affair. South Might Assert Herself. Savannah (Ga.) Press. As long as the South eats humble pie she will be treated as an inferior, a poor relation. It might not bo amiss for her to assert herself this time. In case she has to choose between one of her own emi nently deserving sons and an objection able Eastern or Western man. Sound and Safe Leadership. Vlcksburg (Miss.) Herald (Dem.) It is more than natural, it Is Inevitable, for Democrats of political pride and prin ciple to be turned by "the yellow peril" to the refuge of sound and safe leader ship, even to Grover Cleveland. The Innocent Bystander. Manchester, Englnnd Chronicle. Foreign devils shindy klckee. Damme? bag of tricks! Chinaman no ha-penco pickee, Always gettee kicks. Foreign devils battle makee, Russia and Japan; Samee gamee; come and takoo Swag from Chinaman. Chorus Chin chin Chinaman Russia lettee fly Mlssee Jap, Me the chap Getteo blackce eye. Jappy smack- . . Russia back Me the bullet stop Chin chin Chinaman Cop, cop cop! Missionary preachee "Brother; Christian lovce foes." Alle samee, kill each other, Cut'off brother's nose. Foreign devils flghtee, bangee, Takee allee can; Then If someono musteo hangee . Hangee Chinaman! Chorus Swing, swing Chinaman Swallow muchee pill. Makee sad, Velly bad "Little Mary" 111. Powers flght Alee right Comee out on top Chop down Chinaman, Chop, chop, chop! Song. Robert Loveman. It Isn't raining rain to me, It's raining daffodils; In every dimpled drop I see Wild flowers on the hills; The clouds of gray engulf the day. And overwhelm the town. It Isn't raining rain to me, It's raining roses down. It isn't raining rain to me. But fields of clover bloom. "Whero every buccaneering bee May find a bed and room; A health unto the happy! A fig for him who frets! It Isn't raining rain to me. It' a raJnlnsr vlolato. . NOTE AND COMMENT. The Difference. Bryan says he can't discover where Parker stands. Parker can't discover what Bryan has to stand on. In his wild desire to die poor, Carnegie rushes Into politics. The F-fair ap-ap-approprlntion has a b-b-bit of a st-st-stutter. A man that marries is usually mis guided. Afterward he's mrs-gukled. Thibetans call their, country the roof of the world, but they seem unable to keep the lid on. These are dull timas in Oklahoma. But one man was killed at the Democratic Convention in Lawton. A young girl's meet eloquent speech is: "I love you!" a man's fe. "Ccdk and take a drink!" Pendleton Guide. Drinks cost money. Mrrch went out like a gentle zephyr kiss ing a sleeping beauty. So there. Taccna. Ledger. Tacoma, apparently, was the sleeping beauty. "How pretty It must be in ze Sum maire." said the foreigner to Mrs. Irv Ington, apropos of the Virginia creeper around her house, "how pretty it must be when your walls are covered with crawl ers." In a local divorce case the husband tes tified that his wife, who I much heavier than he Is, knocked him out of bed, where upon he said: "Hereafter, madam, you shall sleep on the outside." To the un biased observer this declaration seems to have been a mistake. A man can only be kicked out of bed once, whereas he might be kicked against the wall until the kicker grew weary. There are schools that teach advertis ing, drawing, shorthand, cooking and hosts of other things by mail, but this ap pears to be a new one. The advertisement is from Printer's Ink: HUMAN NATURE TAUGHT thoroughly ty mall or no pay. Mention P. L and got Samples from Lessons free. SCHOOL OF HUMAN NATURE. Athens. Georgia. It seems that the writer of the adver tisement has a good deal of faith In one constituent of human nature credulity. An exchange quotes a few Hems from Irish papers. One correspondent sent a story from Birr otherwise known as Par- V I sonstown about a lady that was kllK-J """ whilst hunting, and concluded by stat ing that "the deceased met with a similar accident on a previous occasion.' Anoth-r writer said that he had been In the Transvaal "between six and seven times," and a third writer proudly declared that he had "never put his name to an anony mous letter." MIs3 Ella Fletcher, in an absent-minded epell. took a drink of water while a pin was In her mouth Sunday morning. The pin wen crosswayo and she coughed it up. but l. gave her quite a scare. Castle Rock Leader It Is one of woman's most mysterious gifts to be able to hold pins In her mouth without devoting her entire thought ti them. Let a man be misguided enough o attempt holding a pin in his mouth ar.J he Is likely to get cross-eyed trying t watch It. But a woman she can Loll five hairpins and a dozen smaller pins la her mouth while she Is having her uimur. PORTLAND. April. 5. (To Note and Com ment.) I am In trouble and come to yru. There are five In our fa"ml- three Uttle chil dren, my husband and myself, liy "h r- girl" is going to leave because she ' ge-. tired" though every one who ses ua br- could easily deckle which Is fat and r s$ Now, I have helped that girl every way know how, running down to the baseme:( furnace and up to the attic clothesline t oavo her steps helped her wash. too. evej since she first came, when baby was only i iew weexs ow, ana neiped ner Iron and sweeri I hav6 taught that girl every iota she know) aoout civiuzeu noueeKeeping, from care plumbing to the elements of wwiisnr have simplified our menus until breakfad consists solely of health fooda; I have gle her a better and mnnt MunfArtnhiA mwtm she ever had at home, and I pay her a sun which, estimating the value of her "keen" al $12 a month (modest enough), makes h.l wages equal to one-third of our total fami Income. That leaves only two-third wit3 which to pay taxes and Insurance and t clothe, feed and support five persons. I can't pay more wages, and I can't t"4 the work alone. I wish I bad the spen.lir.ij money she has! "What shall I do? Can 1 get out an injunction to make her stay, ci should I put the children In a "Home." I my husband get a divorce on the ground C4 desertion and go out to work myself? This letter Is genuine all but the signa ture. HAPPY HOUSEWIFE. P. S. I can do about twice as much wri as the above-mentioned girl ever dreamed t-f. H. H. Whllo naturally reluctant to rush in where Ella Wheeler Wilcox or Dorothy Dix might fear to trend, our heart would have to be of adamant if such an appeal were to go unanswered. The expedient suggested by Happy Housewife at the conclusion of the letter Is not without merit, bu It Involves divorce court pro ceedings, to which some strait-laced per sons still object. Why not make this "fat and rosy" maid the mistress of the house? Then she would have to run from Lase ment furnace to attic clothesline, wbll Happy Housewife grinned and grew fat. Besides Happy thore is a Hooligan smack about the name that leads us t believe H. H has not lost her sers? l humor Happy Housewife would th havo a whole third of the family Incom for her very own, instead of a mcas." two-flfteenths, and she would have even ings off on which to spend it. And wit'a the abolition of the health food break fast, fatness, we doubt not. and roslnes.. we are sure, would be the lot of Ilapry Housewife, w.ho could snap her flnsirs at care, and carry her nam de guerre in g. a earnest. WEX. J. OUT OF THE GINGER JAR. She Does your employer ever tell hs -If c funny stories? He No. but we don't da undeceive him. Town Tople, Bad cookery has done much to unierml-s the health of the race. Indeed. notKrur tJu done more, unless It be good ooker--ku & First Little Girl My father to an !!.-; what does yours do? Second Little Glrl-W. xz ever mamma tells hlra. Glasgow Een.2g Times. Sunday School Teacher Now. Tommj. tan you tell me whose day this k? Tommj -Yes n:. It'a Bridget's. Delia bad last Sunday out Philadelphia Press. Miss Corsetta "What a faeatttiful bouquet Clair has In her lap over there in th tfc'rd back. Miss Pompoudora ( looking j That 3 her hat. Cleveland Leader. Brown Don't get gay. or I'll be frcrd ta pound a little sense lato your head. Green Huh! It would take a doaen men like you t pound any senee Into ray head. Chics go Dai y Newff. (Gentleman with comic face has just finis"- I very pathetic story.) Brown (who Is . ; deaf, ami has ben watching Ms expreun -Ha! Ha! Very good! Funatewt thing I've h - 1 for a long time! Punch. "Gosh!" exclaimed the farmer, as he star 2 in awe at the Siamese twins; "I wonder hnr they got that way?" "I'm not sure." repllcl the circus wit, "but maybe they went ta take a drink and asked seme one to Join 1 thm." Philadelphia Record. it