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PORTLAND, FRIDAY, JANUARY , 1904,
RUSSIA'S EXTREMITY.
The bellicose spirit of Japan has at
length achieved Its purpose of putting
Russia In a very deep and uncomfort
able hole. The strong: desire of the
Czar for peace .is -well known; and
Japan has presumed very far upon this
in its multiplied demands. There is no
course for Russia but to fight or yield;
and, however galling it must be to Ro
manoff pride, the Indications certainly
are that the Czar will choose the more
pacific but less glorious horn of the di
lemma. It is evident that this result is' due
not only to the benevolent nature of
Nicholas, but to the representations of
European powers and something also
to the show of Interest made by the
United States in urging speedy ratifica
tion of the treaty with China. No other
Interpretation can be placed upon this
our action than sympathy with Japan or
at least lack of sympathy with Russia.
The debatable status of Manchuria,
part and parcel as It is of the questions
at Issue, entirely justifies the Russian
view of our precipitation in wringing
cpneessions from China as If we felt in
danger of losing them in case of Rus
sian victory.
It is impossible at this time to foresee
whether our participation in this affair
will eventually afford us satisfaction or
regret What is certain Is that need
lessly to court the suspicion and unfriendliness-
of Russia is as unwise as
it is uncalled for. What Russia may
have denied to her age-long rival Great
Britain and her cocky enemy, Japan,
she has never denied to the United
States and may never deny. We owe
nothing In Asia either to Great Britain
or Japan which Justifies us in depart
ing from a dignified and fair neutral
ity. As for the Powers themselves, it is
the least they can do in decency to
stop this war before it begins, if it is
within their power. How they rejoice
to step in coolly after a cause has been
won at Immense sacrifice of blood and
treasure, Russia learned In bitterness
In 1878 at Berlin, and Japan in sorrow
at Chee Foo in 1895. It Is quite likely
that after Japan and Russia had worn
themselves out against each other their
dear friends would appearon the scene
to divide China up among themselves
and appropriate the fruits of victory.
It Is more decent for London, Paris ajid
Berlin to counsel peace now than to
urge their trusting allies into a strug
gle where they mean to desert them
and wrest the spoil from whichever
wins.
ARMOUR'S WHEAT DEAL.
The millions of Mr. Armour, taking
advantage of a fairly strong statistical
position in wheat, have succeeded in
pushing the May option on the premier
cereal well up within hailing distance
of the dollar mark, with every indica
tion that the top notch has not yet been
reached. Not since Joseph Lelter made
his meteoric "swish" across the com
mercial horizon and vanished Into
financial eclipse has there been such
excitement In wheat as has marked the
course of the now celebrated Armour
deal. The disastrous termination of the
Lelter deal is a matter of history. The
result of the Armour deal will not "be
known for several weeks In fact, may
never be known, for the public Is not
takento the confidence of great spec
ulators when losses are scored and
there is money enough behind the los
ers to cover up the deficiencies that
result from an erroneous gauging of
conditions and speculative sentiment
At present prices, with the possibil
ity of a poor wheat crop in this country
in 1S04. it would be impossible for Mr.
Armour to make such a colossal failure
of his deal as was made by Mr. Lelter.
but if his own opinion and the pressure
of conditions beyond his control should
send wheat up to Lelter prices. It might
require all of his millions and perhaps
more "millions than he can control to
prevent an expensive collapse. The Ar
mour deal Is exclusively an American
affair, and its success or failure Is de
pendent almost entirely on American
conditions, while with Lelter foreign
demand and foreign prices were such
as at least to warrant the foundation
for that structure of bullish speculation
which he bullded with such great care
and which burled him beneath its ruins.
The failure of the wheat crop In
France, one of the greatest bread-eating
nations on earth, was a big factor
In giving the Leiter deal such a success
ful start and this was aided by short
crops in other parts ot the Old World
as well as here at home. Mr. Armour
has none of this foreign aid with the
ideal which Is rapidly becoming un
wieldy on his hands. Instead of a
strong market and good demand, abroad
every one of his hilarious advances In
Chicago has been followed by a con
temptuous decline in Liverpool. He
has worked prices up to a point where
wheat is worth more in Chicago than
it is In Liverpool. This precludes the
possibility of shipping any of his accu
mulating line or cash wheat out of the
country, and Iflfaust remain here to be
come a portion of the "corpse," the dis
posal of which in nine cases out of ten
absorbs all of the paper profits, and
enough more to break the speculator
who fathers a corner In wheat
Telegraphic advices from Chicago in
yesterday's paper credited Armour
with profits of $300,000 on the day's
transactions, and yet It ls extremely
doubtful whether any portion of that
vast sum could have been actually
saved had an attempt been made' to
realize. In fact the market yesterday
started off with a wild slump,- which
would surely bave carried prices down
low enough to have wiped out all of
.this paper profit, had not Armour
promptly come to the support of the
market and frightened all of the short
sellers to a standstill by buying all of
the wheat that was offered. As mat
ters now stand, May wheat Is worth 92
cents In Chicago because no one dares
to sell it for less than that figure so
long as Armour is in possession of such
a tremendous long line which -he must
protect What it will be worth' when
these prices attract wheat from all
parts of the United States will depend
on the amount of money that Armour
can raise to handle it
American shippers have been sending
wheat abroad recently at the rate of
2,000,000 t6 3,000,000 bushels per week,
and, now that wheat is higher in Chi
cago than in Liverpool, this business
will cease and the wheat be neld for
May delivery to Mr. Armour. Mean
while, the men who have the actual
wheat are expressing no anxiety as to
how high the market may be forced by
manipulation. The Lelter deal Is said
to have added $200,000,000 to the value
of the American grain crops, and if Mr.
Armour stays the limit in the large
and rapidly growing transaction which
is now occupying his time, talents and
money, similar good results may follow.
BURNS.
Our citizens of Scotch lineage will
this evening do honor by speech and,
song to the memory of Burns. The
fame of Burns grows and glows
brighter with the lapse of time. His
most severe critics bave been Scotch
men like Carlyle and Robert Stevenson,
who, while doing full justice to his
poetic genius and his power as an orig
inal and permanent literary force, have
not made sufficient allowance for his.
early environment Burns was a poor
plowboy, who had the head of a
man of genius, but his native genius
did not protect him from youthful in
temperance and irregular relations with
women, which were the rule in the rus
tic life of Scotland in the last half of
the eighteenth century and to a much
later date. Carlyle, peasant-born and
man of genius, was sent to a univer
sity, which helped -him to habits of self
control and ameliorated his native
boorlshness, though even with this ad
vantage, Carlyle all his days showed
traces of his barbarous early training.
The genius and culture of Goethe did
not lift him to a high plane of per
sonal morality in his early life, and
there are many other Illustrations
which might be cited to show "that the
intemperance and other irregular hab
its of 'Burns wery not unexpected or
exceptional, considering his early en
vironment and the low standard of so
cial morals that prevailed in his day,
when clergymen not seldom drank to
excess, when men of the highest repu
tation for learning and scholarship In
literature, law and medicine were given
to frequent conviviality In public and
private.
There is no evidence, however, that
Burns drank to excess until after his
ill-starred marriage, which began in a
low intrigue without love or expecta
tion of marriage on either side. Burns,
to save the woman from disgrace, of
fered to marry her, but her parents
spurned him with contempt as a social
Inferior, and persuaded the daughter to
burn the lines he had given her. When
Burns obtained 400 for the second edi
tion of his poems the wonumagain
sought him; her parents turned her
away, and out of compassion for her
situation Burns married her, although
he did not love her arid she did not
love him. Burns' action showed a kind,
manly heart but it was a marriage bar
ren of any chance for happiness, for
the woman was a light silly, frivolous
creature; the kind of flirt that ends by
flying, moth-like. Into the flame. An
unsuccessful farmer, a petty officer of
excise, who did not agree In opinion
with the government he served; too
proud and manly to dance attendance
on the aristocratic society of his time
and play the court jester at their feasts,
Burns grew low-splrlted and allowed
himself to become a victim of alcohol
Ism. Had he not been a man of excep
tionally powerful poetlcgenlus, his fate
would not have excited much attention
or required much explanation, but a
man of such conspicuous gifts that the
younger Pitt himself a fine university
scholar. Instantly pronounced him a
great poet, could not pass away with
out all his personal frailties being
dragged into the glare of "the fierce
light that beats upon a throne."
The same unreasonable obloquy fell
upon Bjron when he separated from his
wife; if he had been an ordinary Eng
lish gentleman, nobody would have
wondered very long that Lord Byron
did not like his wife well enough to
live with her, but because he was a
famous poet all England went wild with
rage and excitement. So with Shelley,
whom Mark Twain bitterly denounces
because of his treatment of his first
wife. Shelley married the woman from
a chivalrous impulse, believing that she
had been turned out ot doors for de
fending his skeptical religious opin
ions; he left her for another woman
when he believed her to have been un
faithful; he allowed her $1000 a year
until she drowned herself while mis
tress of a man about town. Consider
ing that Shelley was a mere boy, he be
haved far better in this matter than
most young fellows do when a woman
throws her head at him. - but Mark
Twain pounds Shelley to a fine pulp
for no reason apparently save that
Shelley was a great poet who, when
a boy, made a fool marriage, as many
other boys have done who were never
great poets or anything else in partic
ular. These illustrations are sufficient for
the argument that Burns in his vices
was the child of his early rustic en
vironment while In his very great vir
tues and his powerful poetic genius he
was the greatest man that Scotland ever
produced, and next to Shakespeare he
is the greatest poet of human nature
whose name Is found in the annals' of
English literature. It Is because Burns
is the most forceful and original poet
of human nature, next to Shakespeare,
that he has obtained such eloquent trib
utes from men so diverse as Tennyson
in England and Whittier and Holmes
in America. Tennyson says that the
songs of Burns are the finest 'In all
English literature; that not even the
beautiful songs in Shakespeare's plays
are equal In variety to those of Burns.
This praise comes from a university
bred English poet a. man of scholastic
culture and fastidious, critical taste.
Holmes -praises him as "a Hying man
set beyond the pedant's tether," and
Whittier clearly led on the muse of
Burns, and. so has James Whltcomb
Riley. His greatest poems are "Tarn
o Shanter" and "The Jolly Beggars."
There are coarse lines In both of these
great poems, even as there are coarse
lines in some of the greatest plays.
There are no coarse lines In the poems
of Goldsmith, who was a squalid vaga
bond with all the gross vices that the
word Implies until he was 30, and who
died In his 46th year, a bankrupt gam
bler, a man of filthy vices all his days.
Burns was a far better man than Gold
smith; he was" never a gambler; he
died very poor, but out of debt; he was
not an associate with low-lived people
of both sexes, as was Goldsmith, and
yet the ordinary reader thinks Gold
smith was as pure and clean as his
works, and thinks of Burns as intem
perate as "Tarn o' Shanter" and as dls
soluteas "The Jolly Bectrars" Thi
difference Is due to the fact that Burns
sketched alL human nature, high and
low, virtuous and vile, with his artist
hand, while Goldsmith touched lightly
only certain superficial phases of hu
man nature with the hand of a literary
mechanic rather than a great genius.
Furthermore, Burns had a conscience
and spoke the bitter truth about him
self, while Goldsmith had no con
science whatever and never shows In
any -way that he was ashamed Of his
exceedingly dirty private life. Some
authors are better than their books and
-some books are better than their au
thors, and of Burns It can fairly be
said In Whlttier's lines:
He meant no wrong to any?
" He sought the good of many;
He knew both sin and lolly;
May God forgive him wholly.
EXPANSION OF THE DAIRY INDUSTRY.
The transfer of the headquarters of a
great creamery company to jthis city
is k stroke of business which is more
than suggestive of the possibilities of
the dairy industry in Oregon. It pro
claims as a fact which has been thor
oughly established by several years of
experiment that Oregon, and especially
the Willamette Valley, Is unexcelled for
dairy purposes arid that Portland Is the
legitimate center of a great dairy In
dustry. With a soil that may be made to pro
duce without limit pasturage and for
age for dairy stock; a climate .in which
it is relatively easy to keepepws com
fortable and In good condition for" milk;
an expanding market on every side and
transportation facilities equal to any
and all demands, this region certainly
equals for dairy purposes any in the
world, and as certainly excels In ad
vantages of climate and grazlng,faclll
ties those sections of the Middle . West
in which dairying according to modern
methods has been so signally success
ful In recent years.
Under the old single-crop regime ag
ricultural growth In Oregon was Impos
sible. Looking back over those sluggish
years, one ceases to wonder at the stag,
nation that prevailed or to censure the
placid, tranquil farmers of that period.
They raised wheat year after year with
out special effort to Increase their acre
age, and lived contentedly upon the
proceeds of their crop, whether these
were less or greater, In accordance with
the condition-of the far-away market
to which they contributed. There was
then absolutely no means whereby per
ishable crops could be moved and the
home market was always glutted. Con
tentment under such conditions was
wisdom. No amount of chafing would
have built railroads, developed mines
or opened up a demand for; lumber.
Wheat would keep; when the demand
was slack It was stored; when It was
active It was sold. Every one of aver
age Intelligence in the agricultural dis
tricts knew even then that Oregon pos
sessed all of the requirements of a good
dairy country. But the entire state
was, as Tillamook County now is, only
in a more complete degree, bottled up.
But progress has worked its way and
the dim possibilities of the pioneer era
have at length become realities. Ore
gon Is not only a great dairy state In
theory, but It is now on the verge of
actual demonstration op-its capabilities
in this line.
It will be readily seen that the farm
ers of the state, far and near, will be
benefited by this expansion of the dairy
business, according to the enterprise
Which they display in meeting the new
demand upon their industry. It is not
considered as among the probabilities
that they will fall to meet this oppor
tunity. The great object for which the
State Board of Immigration has striven
for years a substantial Increase of the
farming population will in the natural
course of demand and supply follow the
expansion of this dairy industry. The
demand is specific. Hundreds of thrifty
people In the Middle West, who have
been bred to farming and have found
the conditions of their vocation hard
where drouths beset, cyclones threaten
and blizzards are accompaniments of
Winter, are possessed of the laudable
desire to better their situation. Vague
statements do not satisfy them. The
truthful declaration that Oregon is a
great dairy state, made definite by th
assurance that there will be a market
at their very doors for all the milk of
all the cows they can take care of
makes specific answer to a question
that is suggested to these people by a
proposed or desired change of location.
The breeding and care of dairy stock
will henceforth be a business in Ore
gon in which no man who has been bred
to farming should hesitate to engage.
Conditions jire exceptionally favorable
to the keeping of a dairy herd, and
there is no danger that the supply for
the great creamery will exceed the de
mand or that the smaller creameries
that flourish In various parts of the
State will be cut out by this expansion
of the dairy Industry. These are posi
tive statements, and they are amply
supported by the facts In the premises.
They are based upon business and not
upon sentiment; upon a condition, not
a theory.
Harold Latta, 3 years old, died Janu
ary 13 at the Pasteur Institute In Chi
cago while under treatment for rabies.
He was bitten by a mad dog at Madrid,
la., October 28. A girl of 13 years, who
was bitten by the dog at the same
time, is under treatment and Is not ex
pected to recover. The father was bit
ten by the child on the hands, and the
mother, whose lips were Infected fey
kissing the "boy. are also fighting death
by the Pasteur method. The utter
laiocy displayed by otherwise intelli
gent persons in kissing sick people
has seldom produced more distressing
results than in this case. It is a form
of persecution of the helpless to kiss
a sick child on the lips, and the out
rage Is one of which few humane or
Intelligent persons are guilty. ,Former
ly there was some excuse for It insigr
norance. But the germ theory has been
so thoroughly exploited that this ex
cuse no longer holds good. Those who
kiss the sick upon the lips Invite dis
ease, and itIs not surprising that the
Invitation Is frequently accepted.
The "menace of the Hohenzollerns"
Is likely to descend In another fatal
blow upon the imperial house. Prin
cess Charlotte, the -oldest sister of Em
peror William, and within a year of
his own age, has been found to be suf
fering from cancer. Dr.'Morltz Schmidt
has furnished this startling diagnosis
of her case, and the discovery has add
ed to the apprehension felt on every
hand over the condition of the Kaiser.
The Princess, wife of the hereditary
Prince of Saxe-Meinlngen, was mar
ried In her early girlhood, and, though
still a young woman. Is a grandmother.
She Is a dashing woman, exceedingly
unlike her mother, the late Empress
Frederick, though withal the' most
sprightly and Intellectual of the daugh
ters of that gifted and unhappy woman.
Her close relationship to the German
Emperor makes her personality inter
esting and her malady little less than
appalling.
The most suggestive tribute that has
been paid In death to. the life of George
Francis Train is that presented by
thousands of children who, with a ten
derly subdued air foreign to the im
pulses of childhood, hav. passed into
the mortuary chamber where his body
Plies to take a last look at the placid
face that through all his life lighted up
at the approach of a child. "He was a
friend of children." This Is a eulogy
that any man might desire and few
would" despise. It is the unquestioned
eulogy of George Francis Train, and
it very properly overshadows many of
the eccentricities of his character
which, excited wonder, amusement or
derision. No man has lived In vain
whose departure the children of an
entlre community mourn as the loss
of a "friend.
According to Consul Keene, a, large
and growing part of the export trade
of Florence Is "antiquities of every
kind, description and alleged epoch,
most of them such clever Imitations as
to require experts to detect the decep
tion." This Is one of the cases In which
the deceived purchaser Is no worse off
than before. The millionaire with a
taste for Roman jewels or coins that
rang In cash registers in B. C. some
thing Is just as happy with one of mod
ern make. Ignorance is bliss, and to be
wise is to lose self-respect Let the In
dustrious Florentine pursue his skillful
craft, and turn out antiquities that will
arouse wonder in many American minds
and cause not a few American tongues
to wag platltudlnously on "the muta
bility of human affairs."
The sympathy of all good citizens is
with the broken-hearted "woman of this
city who Is the mother of the young
woman convicted Of the murder of her
husband In San Francisco a. few days
ago. The onlyconolingeature In the
case is. found in the fac that a person
so wayward as was this convicted
woman will be kept from further crime
or misadventure by having "been so
sternly brought to penalty for this
crime. As a convict Under a life sen
tence at San Quentln, the career of
Martha Bowers as a criminal Is ended,
whereas her acquittal would most likely
have been but its beginning. The way
of the transgressor is deplored, but,
after all, the penalties that beset it
have a touch of wholesomeness not to
be despised.
It would seem to be an easy matter
to keep a bottle containing carbolic,
acid out of the reach of a 2-year-old
child. The parents of Charley Johns,
of Kalama, however, seemed to find
this simple' feat Impossible, and as a
result the little one is in great agony
from having sampled the contents of
the bottle. Just here It may be said
that more deaths result from taking
f arbolic acfd than from any other one
poison, yet it is of all poisons the easi
est to get from the druggist and., the
one most frequently found upon the
family medicine shelf.
A home for working girls to cost $20,
000 Is to be built on a site not yet
chosen In honor of Mrs. Harriet Hub
bard Ayer, a brilliant writer who died
a short time ago. It is to be estab
lished upon lines suggested by Mrs.
Ayer In her famous Dickens story of
"The Seven Ppor Travelers." The
plan, though unique and in a way ideal,
Is said to be a practical one, and its
fulfillment will be a tribute to the work
of a brilliant woman and a monument
to her memory.
The university that attempts to do
High School work cripples and under
rates Itself for university work. For
this reason, among others, the Matrons
of the University of Oregon are to be
congratulated In that the board of re
gents has abolished the -preparatory
department that' has heretofore been
maintained in connection with that in
stitution. Let students go to Eugene
prepared for freshman work, and let
the local High School of that town do
its duty.
The annual election of the Chamber
of Commerce Is a fitting time, on behalf
of the community, to acknowledge ob
ligations to that body's, active and able
efforts for Portland's advancement, and
to wish the new board of officers the
same success that has attended' the la
bors of the year that Is past This
we do in all heartiness, and look for-
ward, with the Chamber, to" the most
progressive year in the city's history.
All lesser forms of gambling, how
ever pernicious, become insignificant
when a grain gambler turns a hand
which increases by Its showing the
price of the bread supply of the country-
'
Condensed Eggs.
New York Press.
Did you ever use condensed eggs? They
are prepared somewhatafter the manner
of condensed milk, and will keep till
eternity. First they are deprived of their
surplus water, then sugar Is added, and
they' are packed In cans and hermetically
.sealed. When being used for cooking or
scrambling, etc., a little water Is added
and the mixture Is quickly beaten. A big
trade is. done In condensed eggs with
South Africa, where fresh eggs bring as
high as ?L2 a dozen.
A FORGOTTEN HEROINE. ,
Tacotna Ledger.
The St Louis Globe-Democrat reminds
the present age and generation that it
ought to erect a monument to the .mem
ory of a heroine who has been dead and
forgotten at least forgotten for nearly
100 years. She was never widely known to
fame. She was dead long before many
people knew that she had lived. Her name
was Sacajawea, the Bird Woman, and she
was an Indian.
Lewis and Clark found her at the Man
dan village which stood near the site of
the present town of Mandan, on "the North
ern Pacific Railroad, during the Winter ot
1904-05. She was a Shoshone, but had been
stolen from her tribe when a child and
sold to a French half-breed named Cha
boneau, who had subsequently married
her. Chaboneau was engaged to be the
Interpreter for the expedition, and al
though his 15-year-old wife had a babe
only a few months old. he took her along
with him. He proved to be not over
valuable as Interpreter or anything else,
but his wife well earned the $500 that was
paid him. Dr. Elliot Coues says "she con
.trlbuted a full man's share to the success
of the expedition, besides carrying her
baby.""
Whoever will read Lewis and Clark's
journal, or Noah Brooks' "First Across
the Continent ' which gives its story in
most reliable form, will indorse Mr. Coues
remarfif During the trip of nearly 4000
miles through the wilderness she bore her
full share of all perils and hardships, and
on one or two occasions rescued the party
from great difficulties. She always con
ducted herself creditably, no matter what
fatlgue-or dangers were encountered. Once
when a boat was upset on the Upper Mis
souri she rescued from the river many
valuable papers while also saving her
child. When the party neared the big
mountains her services Increased in value.
Partly from recollection, partly from In
stinct, she was able to choose, among the
rivers that unite to form the Missouri,
the one that led them the most directly
to the headwaters of the Columbia. She
piloted the expedition across the roof of
the world where the waters which flow by
way of the Mississippi and Its tributaries
into the Gulf of Mexico are separated
from those which flow into the Pacific
and Into the Gulf of California; inter
preted among Indians with whom her
husband, who was paid for doing 'the talk
ing, could not converse; obtained a wel
come and horses for the party among her
own people, the Shoshones, west of the di
vide; gave up articles of her own in bar
ter with other Indians for the use of the
expedition; and, though stricken with
serious illness once or twice from ex
posure, exertion and insufficient or Im
proper food, she rallied quickly, and bore
all the hardships, including those attend
ing the care of her child, cheerfully and
courageously.
As a mark of the explorers appreciation
of her services they named one of the
tributaries ot the Musselshell, in Montana,
Sacajaw.ea's RJver; but civilization, which
has profited so much by her hardship
and trials, has changed this to Crooked
Creek., The Globe-Democrat Is right The
20th century ought to make compensation
for the neglect of the 19th. The bird wom
an ought to 'have a monument
Grave Defects In English Manners.
National Review.
Madame de Stael, after a year spent In
England under conditions that gave her
an opportunity of seeing all that was dis
tinguished in society, recorded her admira
tion for our constitution, institutions, par
ties, principles, laws and by-laws-, but she
was reluctantly obliged to admit that our
men had no manners and that our social
Intercourse lacked one great essential,
namely, conversation. According to her,
English 'men and women speak only when
they have something to say, and then they
exhause every phase ot the subject
and themselves. The collapse which ensues
In the conversation, .says the vivacious
French woman, does not seem to discom
pose the hostess or disturb the company;
It is accepted as quite natural.
The defects in our social system must
remain characteristic of us as long as our
men remain as indifferent as they are to
society in fact, as long as they are still
only partially civilized. The French na
tion has undoubtedly put women on a
higher platform than ha3 the British, and
the greater refinement of their social con
ception Is no less Indisputably due to this
fact The position of a wife and mother
in a French family Is legally and Instinc
tively a more honorable one, and the
mother-in-law, though often the subject
of ridicule on the stage, enjoys an author
ity and consideration which that relation
ship is totally deprived of with us. Wife
beating 13 unknown amongst our Gallic
friends, excitable though they are; and,
as every one knows at home, that pastime
Is commonly indulged in by our lower
classes at the expense of a 2s 6d fine. In
England many little things testify to the
accepted "superiority" of the male sex. A
woman bows first as to her lord and
master; in France a man salutes his Idol,
whether noticed or unnoticed, and stands
with his head uncovered if she stops to
speak to him, while the younger men
never omit to kiss a lady's hand, to shake
which would seem an Impertinence! To
assert that all these formalities are mean
ingless Is the abrupt conclusion of most
"self-respecting" Englishmen, but they
are nevertheless-the evidences of a refined
civilization and have their value if life in
society Is desirable and useful.
The addition, therefor, of these finishing
touches to the manly qualities of our
British fathers, brothers and sons would
make of our male belongings the para
gons of the whole earth.-
Strong in New England.
Brooklyn Citizen.
We have, come to regard the New Eng
land States as hopelessly Republican, but
it is by no means certain that Mr. Roose
velt, for Instance, can carry New Hamp
shire, Connecticut or Rhoqe Island against
Richard Olney. Mr. Tllden and Mr. Cleve
land, neither of them a son of New Eng
land, carried Connecticut, and the state
of Franklin Pierce, with a voting popu
lation of about SO.000 is normally Republi
can by not more SOOO or 4000 plurality. In
Rhode Island the Democrats twice In suc
cession have carried the state for Gov
ernor and by increasing pluralities. Rich
ard Olncy Is by all odds the greatest clti
zen of New .England today, and there Is
little doubt that his candidacy would unite
th" Democrats In New England as they
have not been united since 1S92. With the
added strength that will come to him as
a son of New England, there Is every
Justification for believing that he can
carry Connecticut. New Hampshire and
Rnode Island.
Tammany for Cleveland.
New York Press.
"No, I'm not for Judge Parker and I'm
not for McClellan. and I haven't 'said I
was for anybody." said Tammany Leader
Charles F. Murphy, yesterday.-Tm not
against Judge Parker, either. "The fact
is. It Is tod early for anybody to speak
for Tammany Hall."
"You were quoted from Baltimore &n
saying Mr. Cleveland would be a winning
candidate."
"I say so now. Mr. Cleveland would
carry Illinois and Indiana, and, of course.
New York. New Jersey and Connecticut
His nomination would not endanger any
Democratlc state. But Mr. Cleveland Is
not a candidate, I understand, and of
course I do not know that he could be
nominated."
"Are you against Parker because of
Hill?" -
T never said I was opposed to Judge
Parker, and I have no trouble with Mr.
HUL I regard New York State as safe for
any candidate we nominate."
Negatively, His Mind Js Clear.
Detroit Free Press.
The average Democrat is hot certain
whom be would like to see nominated for
President but he has very strong con
victions as to whom he doesn't want to
see nominated.
GOOD WORDS FROM BROOKLYN!
Brooklyn Standard Union.
The glories of the St Louis World's Fair,
promised by those who should know to be
the greatest should not completely eclipse
that attPortland. Or., next year, for which
preparations are already well advanced.
Senator Mitchell, the veteran Oregon
statesman, the other day accompanied a
bill committing the United States to the
enterprise with a luminous and exhaustive
exposition not only of the undertaking it
self, but ot the momentous events which
it commemorates, and demonstrates the
great importance of tae Oregon country
Indeed. It is doubtful whether the fruition
of the great Louisiana Purchase, Its com
plete assimilation Into the scheme of the
American republic, is not due fully as
much to the historic exploit of Lewis and
Clark as to the genius and courage ot
Jefferson and his associates In the original
purchase. There can ne no longer any
doubt that had it not been for the prompt
and adequate action of President Jefferson
and the admirable manner in which the
expedition of the Virginians was handled.
ana periormea its duties, not only the
Interior but the exterior of the United
States would today be very different from
what It is. No one .knew what we owned
when we had bought Louisiana. Mount,
ains ot salt savage giants and other chim
eras were believed in. and the Lewis and
Clark expedition was Imperative, not only
for a knowledge of our own possessions.
I but for a determination of our own bound
aries. To the undaunted spirit and cour-
over-appreciated, is undoubtedly due the
hold of the United States upon the Coast
of the Pacific, a factor without which we
would have cut but a sorry and minor fig
ure in the family of nations. It Is Inter
esting, moreover, to note that Senator
Mitchell declares In the most unqualified
terms that our "54-40" claim was in every
respect sound, and that had we insisted
upon undoubted eights we would have
had another slice of what must now re
main Canadian territory.
The Portland undertaking, though not
on as large as a scale as that of St Louis,
i3 in the best hands, and on account of
its proximity will more adequately pre
sent the industries, the attractions and the
opportunities of Japan and China to the
American trade than any former similar
exposition. The whole Oregon country,
moreover. Is teeming with resources and
achievements, to which it is anxious to
invite the attention ot the world, and par
ticularly Its sisters ot the East No por
tion of the history of the United States
is more dramatic or more significant than
that of the far Northwest American soil
long before California, with Its gold mines
and 3000 miles of coast line, engrossed at
tention, and which, with the development
certain- to follow the great awakening
In Asiatic commerce, with Puget Sound Its
entrepot i3 to become from year to year
of much greater Importance to the Mls
elssfppi Valley and to the Atlantic slope.
Mr. Hanna and Zach Mulhall.
New York Sun.
A Washington correspondent of our es
teemed uptown contemporary, the Herald,
makes this diagnosis of the psychology of
Mr. Roosevelt's friends:
President Roosevelt's friends regard with
growing suspicion the delay of Senator Han
na and Ferry S. Heath, as chairman and
secretary respectively, of the Republican Na
tional Committee. In issuing the call for the
National Convention, and are growing firmer
In. the belief previously expressed that Sena
tor Hanna Intends to try to defeat Mr. Roose
velt's nomination. j
We cannot believe that Mr. Roosevelt
and the other propellers of his boom have
so lost their confidence In human nature
as to suspect that Mr. Hanna seeks to re
sist that Imperious popular demand which
Mr. Roosevelt is so obligingly ready to
further and supply. That Imperious de
mand Is beard In the District of Colum
bia. It swells and thunders in Oklahoma.
The Hon. Zach Mulhall, of Oklahoma;
gives the glad news that "Oklahoma will
be for Roosevelt In the convention, even
if the people cannot vote in the election."
Even If Mr. Hanna cherished those sin
ister designs which are attributed to him.
prudence and enlightened self-interest
would forbid him to try to carry them out.
The Hon. Zach Mulhall has given a
plain warning:
Cowpunchers, irrespective of party, all over
the West, are ready to fight for Roosevelt.
Clearly, Mr. Hanna will have to be good
even if he doesn't want to be.
Less Profanity Than Formerly,
Washington Times.
The habit of swearing Is not as common
as It used to be in this country. Gentle
men no longer use the language with the
unvarnished freedom of the days of Sheri
dan, when a gentleman was accustomed
to consign himself, collectively and In sec
tions, to the lowest depths of perdition in
the presence of ladies while paying trib
ute to their charms. Undoubtedly many
youths who were not brought up to swear
do swear now and then under provocation,
but there Is, all things considered, an in
creasing respect for the English language.
The Hearst Boom.
Mr. Hearst's boom is getting a lot of ad
vertising in the Republican organs Just now.
Minneapolis Times.
"William Randolph Hearst's editorial page
docs not shovr,hIm a candidate for President
so much as his news page. Sioux City Trib
une. r
The platform of all the Hearst clubs so far
formed consists of the significant words;
"We need the money." Qulncy (111.) Her
ald. The $ William $ Randolph ? Hearst $
Presidential $ boom $ Is S still S resounding
$ up 5 and $ down $ the $ land S. Burling
ton Hawkeye.
The combination of Hearst and the Hearse
drivers' Union appears to have been a little
more than the National Committee was will
ing to-tackle. Louisville Times.
Mr. Hearst is having the time of his life,
so what matter if he is only chasing a rain
bow? The chase pleases him and profits his
hired men. Philadelphia Press.
There are many Democrats who believe the
Hearst candidacy is not a Joke, but there
have always been Democrats who had no
sense of humor. Detroit Free Press.
If Mr. Hearst Is nominated we shall all
have a lively Summer, though we think the
late Autumn will be particularly enjoyable
to Republicans. Philadelphia Inquirer.
When the Honorable Bill Hearst gets to be
President he will probably order the Con
gressional Record to suspend publication and
then establish a yellow Journal to take Its
place. Des Moines (la.) Capital.
Hearst Is not considered a candidate by
anybody but by his own newspapers and by
the Republican newspapers, which would like
to see him nominated. The Idea, of Hearst
for President Is absurd. Washington (la.)
Democrat.
The Presldentlaf boom of William Ran
dolph Hearst is again somewhat conspicuous
for being "broke up" on itself without much
rivalry in that respect, and the prospects are
that It will receive a comic valentine. Bir
mingham (Ala) News. '
So some of the Democratic National Com
mitteemen feared there might be "too much
Hearst" In Chicago. Any sign of the right
eous fear of yellow Journalism and money is
quite in order, if political suicide is to be
avoided. Springfield (Mass.) Republican.
The belief has gained currency that Wil
liam Randolph Hearst is willing to pay
12.000.000 for the Democratic nomination,
but poor as the Democratic party la it could
afford to pay $5,000,000 to defeat his aspira
tions, the money to be raised by general
contributions. Cedar Rapids Gazette.
The Democrats of Evansville had long and
widely advertised to the world that Hearst
was to come and speak to them. They had
received assurances from him that he would
come and they really expected him. All
which showing touching confidence on their
part. For have they ever heard of his being
present at any meeting at which it was ex
as ex- j
ny one I
1? In- I
pected that he should speak.? Has any
ever heard of his making a speech
diaaspolis News.
.-NOTE; AND .COMMENT
" The Fifth Avenue Highlander.
Mr. Carnegie keeps a Highland piper at
his New York house, and sports a tartan
designed in his honor by a London, shop
keeper. Up, piper, an gla him a blaw, a blaw.
Up, piper in tartan, an a', an' a' r
Be earning your pay wl a blaw, ablaw.
In plaidle and sporran, an' a", an! a
His foot is on Fifth-avenue heather, '
He climbs the bonnle braes.
Forgot is a his pawky blether.
as name the chieftain gaes;
Nae skene dhu hangs aboon his Heel, "
Although he loo'ei his "trusty steeL"
Attended by nae falthfu' gllUe-i
The last yin lost Ids Job,
He acted aye sae unco silly
His Hie' Ian" name was Schwab
Content ta scatter f rae fits. sporran
Toom libraries, balth home an' foreign.
.
But noo he nears the chieftain's shieling.
The harae o' ancient clan.
Built, frae the modest floor taa celling
Upon a simple plan
A plara bit hoosle. cost not ower"
Three millions, or at maist but rower.
Carnegie tartan flaunts its checker;
Carnegie's piper hits the pipe;
Carnegie plbrochs hall the trekker--
A welcome o the HIe'lan' striper
Carnegie a; for. note it doon.
Wha pays the piper ca's the tune.
Sae up an' gle him a blaw. a blaw,
Catnegle pibroch an a', an a'
Hall tae the Chief wi' a blaw. a blaw.
In Bond-street tartan an' a', an' a'.
The Strollers.
The Scappoose Opera House has been
closed indefinitely, pending changes in
the exits.
Thfr villain does not scowl and glaze,
And hiss, "X must haveb!ood";
The hero does not paw the air. -
His name, in fact. Is mud;
The light comedian's ieellng light,
He knows sharp hunger's goad.
He's left the ties once bound him tight
For those upon the road.
"Is life worth living?" Irving sobs:
Says Mansfield. "Whafs the use?
"We may as well throw up our Jobs
. We can't go near Scappoose."
The heroine no language slings.
Instead she's slinging hash;
First having soaked her priceless rings
For thirty cents In cash.
The ingenue wants none In her
No drama if she knows
She's washed Her hands of theaters,
And now she's washing clothes.
"Is life worth living?" Maxlno sobs:
Says Lillian. "What's the usel "
We may as well throw up our Jobs:
We can't go near Scappoose."
The actorlnes now cannot find
Upon the boards their board.
And so their painful way they wind-
Where once in cars they roared.
Forgotten all their Ps and cues.
They leave a showless land.
Where frosts fall In the place of dues.
And handouts beat a hand.
"Life's not worth living." Sothern aobs;
Says Goodwin. "Oh. the deucel
"We may as well throw up our Jobs,
And sorrow for Scappoose."
An Elizabethan song says, "there Is
no armour against Fate.'" What the
wheat shorts want Is ' armour against
Armour.
Louisiana, which has a candidate for
Governor named Jastremski. has a sym
pathetic feeling for Santo Domingo with
its General Jiminez.
Messages received through his stomach
urged a New York banker- to kill the
president Our stomachs at one time or
another have made most of us fti Hta
murder. - ....
A New York millionaire committed sui
cide rather than undergo an operation
for appendicitis. Thrifty to the end, he
preferred to kill himself rather than pay
another to do the work.
The Dalles is interested In the case of
a bigamous barber. It Is curious to note,
in this connection, the effect of allltera
uon upon character. How is one to ac
count for lying lawyers, prying preach
ers, grafting gamblers, saucy stenograph
ers, loafing longshoremen and all the
others?
A Pendleton paper draws a very fine
word picture of Mrs. FIshbeck demanding
her money back from Gambler Erlckson,
who Is described as wearing a white vest
and a shining silk hat Virtue is rebuffed
by Vice with more than customary melo
dramatic brutality. Without in any way
detracting from the fidelity to life of the
gambler's portrait, It Is open to reason
able doubt that the woman's Is accur
ate. It seems to be a case of the devil
being as black as he is painted, but the
angel not quite so white. And by the
way. while gambling is to the fore, why
doesn't some dive-keeper follow the example-
of the grocers and hang out a
shingle announcing. "If not .satisfied,
your money back?"
But the rapture of a whlte-and-gold morn
ing,, when the air Is like wine and the sun
like heaven, when the snow sparkles so that
the Jeweler's windows may as well go out ot
business.
AVnere are we at! Is this the Post
Intelligencer? It is; and there is more
of It
A morning like yesterday summons the
good citizen, buoyant with the Seattle spirit
and contented with bis lot, to walk humbly
and think upon the forgotten merits of an
earlier home
until he steps on a slide, and damages
his prospects of a future home above the
snow. Perhaps if the man is sufficiently
full of the "spirit" referred to he I3 too
buoyant to fall with any force.
WEX. J.
OUT OF THE GINGER JAR.
Agent The price of this house is $10,000.
madam. She I don't care to give that
much. Agent Well, then, how does $9,009.0S
sound? She I'll take It. Chicago JpurnuL
Friend What are you going to do with all
those presents? Ton have no family? Smart
Going to send 'em to my friends in St. Louis.
I'm going to the Exposition next y?ar. Chicago
Daily isews.
"So the doctor's making money. Is he?"
Well. I should say so. Why. he's reached
that point of prosperity, where fashionable
women send for him to treat them for
Imaginary ills." Chicago Post.
"Where have you been. Tommy?" "Been out
watching people sit on the sidewalk."
"Nonsense I No one sits on the sidewalk this
weather." "Yes they do; after we make the
bricks slippery." Chicago News.
Josh They said that when that lawyer
got to town everything would be laid bare.
Jonah And did he fulfill the promise? Josh
Nq; the hens are still laying eggs with
shells on 'em. Tonkers Statesman.
Mr. Hlghmus I can't say I think much of
the new- kitchen girl's cooking. Mrs. Hlgh-
mus I know she Isn t a first-class cook.
Horace, but it's so restful to reflect that
she's perfectly bald. Chicago Tribune.
Vandyke was instructing in the first prin
ciples of art. "It Is very easy," he declared;
"you simply paint the country green and '
the town red." With a tug at his patented
beard be congratulated himself on the clear
ness of his formula. New York Times.
Father The idea of your thinking of mar
rying that mant He can't scrape enough
money together to buy a square meal. Gwen
dolynBut that doesn't make any difference,
papa, dear; we haven't either of us had an
appetite for a month. Pennsylvania Punch
Bowl.
V