8
THE MORNING OREGONIAN, FRIDAY, JANUARY , ,8, , 190
Entered at the PottoflScs at Portland.- Oregon,
a aecond-class matter.
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Eastern Business OSLce, 4J, 44. 45, 47, 4.' 49
Tribune Building. New Torfc City; 610-11-1
Tribune Building. Chicago; the B. & Beckwlta
Special Agency, Eastern representative.
For sals la New Tork City by I. Jena A
Co sews dealers, at the Actor Bouse.
For sale la Saa Francisco by JU. B. fe,
Palace Hotel news stand; Goldsmith Bros., 238
Cutter street; IT. TV. Pitts. 1003 Market street;
J. K. Cooper Co.. 746 Market street, near the
Palace Hotel; Foster it Orear. Ferry aws
stand; Frank Bcott. 80 Bill street, and N.
Whcatley, S3 Stevenson street.
For sal In Los Angeles by B. F. Oardner.
369 South Spring street, and OUver A Halne.i.
Sdd South Spring street.
For sale In St. Louis. Mo., by the World'
Fair News Co.
For sals la Kansas City, Mo., by Blcksecker
Cigar Co.. Ninth and Walnut streets.
For sale In Chicago by the P. O. News Co..
117 Dearborn street: Charles MaeDoaald, 63
Washington street, and the Auditorium Annex
news s(aad.
For sale In Minneapolis by M. J. Kavanaugh.
60 South Third street; U Begelsbuger, 317
First avenue South.
For sale In Omaha by Barkalow 3ro.. 1G1S
Fsrnam street; Megeath Stationery Co.. 1305
Famam street; McLaughlin Bros 210 S.
Fourteenth street.
For sale la Ogden by W. O. Kind. 114 25th
street; V. C Alien. Postofflce cigar store; F.
JR. Godard and C H. Myers.
For sale la Salt Lake by the Salt Lake Nw
Co., 77 West Second South street.
For sale la Washington. D. C. by the Eb
bett House news stand, and Ed. Brlnkxnan.
Fourth' and Paclflo avenue, N. W.
For sale In Colorado Knrlnca br C A. Bruner.
For sale In Denver. Colo., by Hamilton &
Kandrlck. 906-912 17th street: Louthaa &
Jackson Book & StaUonerr Co.. 15th and
Lawrence streets, and Julius "Black.
YESTERDAY'S WEATHER Maximum tem
perature, 47; minimum temperature, 37; pre
donation. 0.
TODAY'S WEATHER Rain; brisk southerly
'winds.
PORTLAND, nil DAY, JANUARY 8, 1004.
ESPRIT DE CORTS.
It is impossible to see how the police
committee can condemn Officer Frank
lin for his part In the comedy In which
he played so feelingly opposite Mrs,
"Lulu "Winters Called to the lady's
apartments to gain Information con
cerning a recent robbery, he found the
lady at home, Indisposed, and, in fact,
in bed. He thereupon seated himself,
so it is alleged, on the side of that use
ful and convenient article of furniture,
remarked that she was a dear, good
woman, and tendered her an osculatory
embrace which she was too 111 (so she
avers) to resist We undertake to say
that Officer Franklin in this epi
sode did nothing but live up to
the high standard of gallantry set him
by his superior officers; and In his fur
ther defense we offer this plank from
the police committee's platform as
enunciated by General Beebe himself:
Its object has been to establish and main
tain discipline, build up morale, and create
an esprit dc corps throughout the force
It Is credibly reported that Detective
Joe Day, in exemplification of this
esprit de corps, once shook his -fist In
the face of Chief Hunt, saying: "You
blankety old blank, If you tear roe
down, I'll tear you down!" It Is also a
matter of considerable notoriety that
Officer Sloan has repeatedly offered the
observation, In the further exempliflca
tion of esprit de corps, that Joe Simon
will clean up the town at the forthcom
lng primaries. More directly in line
with the esprit shown by Officer Frank
lln are the operations of Officer Roberts
in living off the contributions of dive
keepers and their victims In the North
End. We can see no reason, therefore,
for censure of Franklin. Esprit de
corps should stand by him as It has
already stood by his companions in dls
clpllne, morale and gallantry.
THE DOLLAR AND THE MAN.
There was trouble on the Isthmus of
Panama; Americans were In danger and
the forces of the United States were
promptly sent there to protect them,
There Is trouble In Santo Domingo, and
warships have hurried there to protect
the lives of American citizens. Trouble
is brewing In Corea and American ma
rines.are already there in force to see
that Coreans, Russians or Japanese
shall not harm the head of a citizen of
the United States.
There Is a man in the White House
who puts the man before the dollar,
They know It on Wall street; they know
It on the boards of the anthracite roads
and mines. They know it In Northern
Securities and In the shipyard trust.
They know It at Klshlnef and Beirut, at
Bogota and Santo Domingo, in Salt
Lake and Charleston, In Manila and
Seoul, in the Government printing office
and the Postofflce Department and the
Land Bureau, In the Republican Na
tional Committee and In the Senate of
the United States.
The only person who has not heard
of it and will never hear of It is a cer
tain perpotual candidate for everything
in sight, who has been howling for some
eight years about the dollar being be
fore the man. He Is preoccupied with
a chase after 550,000 before the woman
and with memories of his recent dalli
ance with the crowned heads ofEurope.
Mr. Bryan's policies would put the man
eo far before the dollar that It could
never catch up with him.
LESS WOOD AND MORE STEEL.
It is certainly a reassuring decision
the authorities have made, in substitut
ing steel as far as possible for wood in
the new Morrison-street bridge. It is
in line with the universal demand' for
less wood ln theater construction. The
increased congestion of people In our
cities, whether in assemblies or in tran
sit from place to place, brings forcibly
before the mind the pressing necessity
of more protection from lire and from
struotural weakness.
Conscientious and resolute municipal
authorities will not be willing In the fu
ture to stop far short of the demand that
& theater shall contain nothing that is
combustible. A "fireproof" theater, as
It is, contains highly Inflammable scen
ery.'gas tanks, ropes, curtains, wooden
sets and painted walls. Construction
of the building itself,, of course, Is easily
compassed with iron, steel, stone, brick,
tiling and concrete. Tungstate of soda
or other chemicals will render scenery,
ropes, costumes, furniture, etc., If not
proof against fire, at least Incapable of
bursting into flames -and spreading: the
combustion. Even the stage, which it
is thought must be of wood, can be
made similarly slow-burning. The
floors, carpets and seats are susceptible
of like treatment.
The extent to "which incombustible
materials have already taken the place
of wood Is very great. Tall buOdlngs
In our large cities are commonly con
structed of stone, steel and tile, as The
Oregonlan building is, so that there Is
practically nothing,. io .burn, Tet the
danger in an office building is nothing
to the danger on a bridge, on a steamer
or in a theater. It Is- clear that with
all the preparations that can be used to
make wood "uninflammable, the decrease
In Its use already certain to ensue will
help to solve the problem of existence
after the forests have all disappeared.
REIGN OF THE FURNISHED KOOJI.
It is saldrthat 10,000 men in the City
of New York go to dinner every'even-
lQo wiu mm tresses, uu rate uierc
would be in Portland some 1000 men
similarly situated. The proportion of
single to married men Is less In New
York City than in Portland. On this
we are not left to conjecture. There
are 20 single to 16 married men In New
York. There are 20 single to 15 married
men in Portland. This is for men over
25 years old. In New York there are
27,000 married men under 25. There are
probably 2700 in Portland.
The census of 1900 shows that Port
land contained at that time 53,000 males
and 37,000 females. There are not
enough women, to be sure, but as only
14,000 of them are married, the mascu
line excuse of Insufficient supply would
not avail. Of these 53,000 males, 35,000
are over 25 years of age. The ages of
married men In Portland are not given
In the census, but if we assume that
2700 of the whole 17,000 married men in
Portland are under 25, the percentage
of married to single over 25 Is brought
down to a ratio of 15 to 20, as we have
said.
Portland contains something like 40,-
000 men over 21 years of age, and of
these only 17,000 all told are married
The small birth rate of the city Is thus
in a measure accounted for. It is easy
to say that young men are growing
wild and young women prefer lndepend
ent employment and good clothes to the
burdens of motherhood, This Is true.
but It does not solve the problem or
suggest a remedy. One reason, of
course. Is laxness of home training, ar-
other is decline of religious conviction,
A powerful agency In the abatertent
of matrimony and decline of birth rate
Is coeducation. It is of no use to plead
that coeducation confers better educa
tional results. Perhaps It does. But
what 1b certain is that It tears down the
veil of mystery and romance and ideal
ity with which each sex was once en
veloped to the other's eyes. Close con
tact brushes away the glamor from
Dulclnea as well as from Lancelot. The
human frailties that separation once
concealed are now thrust upon atten
tion. Romance has gone and with it
that blind infatuation with which Na
ture was wont to lure us on and people
the globe apace.
Whatever the cause, the results are
here. The woman In "Sapho" who said
she would rather be a man's mistress
than his wife was the prototype of an
Increasing number of American girls,
Her followers dwell In furnished apart
ments, whose generous allowance for
rents Is1 transforming half the halkln
Portland . into rooming-places and
sprinkling apartment-houses over town
thicker than saloons.
THE BLESSINGS OF WAR.
The PeterklnB who prod the bulls and
bears in the cotton and wheat markets
do not stop to inquire "What good came
of It?" when war Is raging by cable
and grapevine wire. The good, so far
as they are Immediately con
cerned, Is very apparent, espe
cially at this time of year. Exhil
arating news of the character which
makes the speculative blood flow faster
Is usually scarce at this season of the
year. The jaws of the chlnchbug,
which work overtime whenever the Chi
cago Board of Trade farmers are "long"
on wheat, are frozen together, and the
Hessian fly flies not, and neither does
It light, for it is sleeping under the
snowdrifts which enshroud the wheat
plant. It may awake later ln the sea
son and collaborate with the farmer ln
creating the ''poorest wheat crop we
have had ln forty years," but for the
immediate present the fly and the- bug
are having no more effect on the wheat
market than they are on the police pro
tection tariff. Even , the weather is
against the promoter of market news
of the poor-crop scare variety, for it is
too wet for a drouth and too dry for
tho rust, even if" the season were far
enough along for these contingencies
to be of any consequence as price fac
tors. Even cotton was In a fair way to
drift along on Its merits. The bullish
report of the deceased but unburied
statistical bureau of the Department of
Agriculture had worked out like all
similar reports, the reaction had fol
lowed, and for a few days the only
signs of the boll-evil or other detri
mental features were where the spec
ulators had become "balled up" by tak
ing the Government report seriously.
The reaction had followed, and In the
utter absence of anything but legiti
mate factors in the situation, prices
were adjusting themselves tQ a busi
ness basis. This prospect for anything
like commercial ennui was distressing
to the tollers of the pit and curb. What
better, then. In the way of a New
Year's present could a kindly fate offer
than, a real, live, "up-to-date war scare,
which has set the speculative blood
tingling, brought glad visions of dollar
wheat to the farmer, and of cheaper
cotton breeches to the laborer? Nor dp
the expected benefits of an expected
war end here. An airy-fairy pipe
dreamer connected with a Minneapolis
bureau for the distribution of stories
and news of a lurid hue noted that the
prospective war ln the Far East had
resulted In some of the Pacific Coast
millers booking large orders for flour
shipment to the Orient, "If from Port
land, why not from Minneapolis?" said
the dreamer, as he smoked up prepara
tory to eliminating the 2000-mlle raill
haul between the two cities, and land
ing the Minnesota product f. o. b. ship
c. L f . included on an even basis with
Oregon and Washington product Out
of the haze that curled up from this
pipe came a story that a Minneapolis
firm had booked an order for 100,000
barrels of flour for shipment to Hong
Kong. llke much else that happens ln
this world, this was important if true,
and a great many reliable Eastern pa
pers were led to believe that It was
true- Accordingly, we And In a paper
i of such unquestionable reliability as
the St. Paul Pioneer. Press the follow
ing editorial comment on the pipe
dreamer's vision:
The opening of this new .market for Min
nesota. Cour has had the -effect, so It Is said
by experts on the Minneapolis Board of
Trade, of raising the price of. wheat about
cents: a bushel. It has created such a de
mand for wheat at Minneapolis that the
millers are scouring- the "wheat regions of
the trans-Hlsslssippl Southwest for the sup
plies they cannot get nearer home. The re
ceipt of an order of such .magnitude by '
milling city In the heart of the continent Is
a fact of portentous significance.
Nothing but a war scare would have
ever permitted that story to .pass mus
ter as It has, and If the "experts of the
Minneapolis Board of Trade" succeeded
In raising prices' of wheat 7 cents per
bushel they should pension for life the
dreamer who started the story. ""War's
not all a blessing," but it is highly pro
ductive of highly colored stories and
highly priced wheat. Meanwhile, all of
the flour, wheat and similar supplies
that are needed in the Far East will
be supplied by Portland, Puget Sound
and San Francisco, without the cost Of
a 2000-mile rail haul being added.
DECLARATION OF WAR.
In ancient times, and even in the
Middle Ages, war was formally de
clared by sending of a herald. The
Persians sent such a messenger to Ath
ens and Sparta. Rome made formal
declaration of war, and the practice of
the Middle Ages survived into' the nine
teenth century. Before the Invention
of the telegraph and the construction
of the railroad, ample notice was given
not only to the enemy, but also to the
neutral states engaged in commerce
with the belligerents. It is now no
longer customary to send the enemy
formal announcement, but notice Is
given neutral states, and the citizens
of governments about to engage ln war
are notified by their own governments.
The need of such declaration no longer
exists, owing to the telegraph and other
modern Inventions. The power of de
claring war rests in the United States
with Congress. In our practice the
United States has engaged in warlike
operations sometimes in advance of and
without any formal declaration. A
naval war without formal declaration
existed between the United States
and France under the administration of
President John Adams, when Commo
dore Truxton captured two French frig
ates In the West Indies.
Our war with Mexico began without
any formal declaration of. war on either
side. In May, 1846, General Taylor,
who had advanced Into the disputed
Texan territory between the Neuces
River and the Rto Grande, was at
tacked by a Mexican army under Gen
eral Arista. Two battles, Palo Alto and
Resaca de la Palma, were fought
Arista was defeated and driven across
the Rio Grande. On the receipt of this
news President Polk asked Congress to
declare war against Mexico. Congress
passed resolutions recognizing the fact
that a state of hostilities existed and
appropriating a large sum of money for
the support of such military operations
as the action of Mexico might oblige
the United States to undertake. The
declaration of war of Great Britain
against the colonies was proclaimed ln
the fight at Lexington and Concord and
the battle of Bunker Hill, and the Dec
laration of Independence was the ac
ceptance of the gage of battle by the
colonies. The declaration of war on
part of the Southern Confederacy was
the firing on Sumter, and the accept
ance of this declaration of war was
Lincoln's proclamation of April 15, 1861,
calling for t5,000 volunteers.
A state of war on the part of the se
ceding states had, of-course, exited
from the time of their secession. South
Carolina, on its secession. In December,
I860, took possession of all the United
States forts, when Major Anderson re
tired from Fort Moultrie to Fort Sum
ter, and when the cotton states seceded,
in January, 1861. all the United Stated
forts were seized by the orders of the
Governors of the seceding states. But
the Southern Confederacy was not or
ganized until February 9, 186L and Its
first official declaration of war against
the United States was a demand for the
surrender of Fort Sumter, followed by
a bombardment when that demand was
refused. In the matter of the great wars
of the nineteenth century England for
mally declared war against Napoleon In
May, 1803, but the Continental powers
of Europe in the Napoleonic wars seem
not seldom to have dispensed with any
formal declaration of war, as ln the
great campaigns of 1805, 1806, 1807 and
1S09.
The United States formally declared
war against Great.Brltaln ln 1812. Eng
land made formal declaration of war
against Russia In 1854, and France
against Austria in 1859. France made
formal declaration of war against Prus
sia and her allies In 1870, but Prussia's
war against Austria ln 1866 really began
with the Invasion of Holsteln by Prus
sla and her subsequent summons to
Hanover, Saxony and Cassel to reduce
their armies to a .peace footing and' join
the new German confederation proposed
by Prussia. A formal declaration of
war followed their refusal, but war had
substantially begun against Austria be.
fore this date. These fapts show that a
nation may or may not declare Its hos
tile intention by a formal declaration of
war. It seems to. be a matter solely of
discretion and necessity. Where the
-warlike purpose seems to be an open
secret, formal declaration Is not given,
In the case of war between France
and Germany, formal declaration of
war was made as a matter of interna
tional prdprlety, since Paris contained
50,000 Germans In its population and
was one of the great cosmopolitan cities
of the world. Great Britain's habit
seems always to have been to make
formal declaration of war, but It has
not been the invariable practice of the
Continental powers of Europe.
Ip the case of Japan and Russia It is
quite probable that some unexpected
military collision may take- place which
may" be followed by formal declaration
of war, just as General Taylor and the
Mexican -General Arista tumbled Into
each other and fought two battles
ln
three days before war had been de
clared by either Mexico orthe United
States. The North American Indians
sometimes made formal announcement
that they were about to take, the war
path, and it is an Interesting fact that
formal declarations of war seem to have
been the rule among the great nations
of antiquity, while the practice of for
mal declaration of war has come to be.
lightly regarded by the enlightened
powers of Continental Europe. The
Boer ultimatum was a declaration of
war, followed by Invasion within
twenty-four hours, which under the
circumstances reads like a bit of grim
humor, since it was a case of word with
a blowi
A strong protest is -going up from
grain dealers all over the country
against the passage ot the bill proyld-
ins for National grain Inspection at ter- j
minal markets. It Is -not exactly clear
ht hnflta -ha rioiHvori from I
this lt ftm,T,f tn TmlRt a. husl-
ness which is conducted on radically
, . . , J,., - jiiiv I
umwwiv i
different countries. Every additional
Item of cost, whether It be for freight,
Insurance, inspection or any other ser- 1
vice, falls on the grower in the end, and
the business that can be transacted
with the smallest amount of official
friction will yield the best returns.
Good wheat will always sell for more
money than poor wheat, and even the
official grading of the Government will
not make an" Inferior article sell for as
high a fleure as can be secured for I
somethlng better. We have a good 11- I
lustration of the grain-Inspection farce j
ln our neighboring state, where the
owners of wheat purchased at interior
... , . .. nr.A n I
w-uiu nluiUui jujpreuuu : w
accept compulsory inspection and pay
the attendant expense when the wheat
reaches tidewater. No inspection law, 1
state or National, can depreciate the 1
value of good' wheat or increase the j
value of poor wheat.
The Chamber qf Commerce Is deserv
ing of great .credit for the effort It Is
making to prevent a relmpositlon of the
duty on coal. Our representatives at
Washington have been urged by the
local organization to use their efforts to
prevent the duty going into effect again
on January 15. and, as the members are
ln a position fully to understand the
matter, tneir request wiiicarry more
than ordinary.-. weight lH e imlsslon j
of coal duty free lari year was Hhe I
means of irlvlnc i'aclfic Coast grain I
shippers the largest supply of grain I
tonnage that has ever been available.
As a result rates on outward cargoes
were the lowest on record, and all of
the saving over former freight rates
went -Into the pockets of the producers.
Jt was thus proven that the removal
of the daty benefited two classes, the
producers who needed a plentiful sup
ply of tonnage to make freights cheap,
and tli; consumers, who eV enable
to secure cheaper fuel supplies.
It Is now denied that the Grand
Trunk Railroad will make Us Western
terminus at Port Simpson. The report
which was given out to this effect a few-
weeks ago has undoubtedly caused such
an advance in "town lots ln Port
Simpson that the railroad company did
not care to go where property was so
valuable. There Is also a possibility
that the railroad managers will not
take the general public, Including 'the
land speculators, Into their-confidence
when they finally stake out their Pacific
Coast terminus. . There have been In
stances ln the past where the aforesaid
public not only refused to give thanks
for the Information, but actually turned
around and "cinched" the unconscious
benefactor.
The ordinance requiring theater
ticket scalpers to pay a license Is in line
with sound policy. The evil of specula-
tion ln theater seats Is universal in our
cities, and Portland can hardly expect
to escape. Probably the patrons will
have to pay the'license Indirectly ln the
long run, but it.ls worth something to
have the. business In responsible hands.
In case of unusual extortion, some
body's name will be on an official rec
ord at the CltyHall and can be applied
to
The best policeman in all such mat-
ters Is publicity. We know the' man
ager, we must also "know the specu
lator. Let us have no anonymous or
mysterious skulking behind some In
scrutable personality ln the back
ground.
We have been taught that for sophis
tical diplomacy the Russian takes the
prize; yet an utterance credited to
Baron Hayashl at London Is fully
abreast or Count Casslnl at his best
The Japanese statesman said:
I notice that when It Is Russia's turn to
reply the Russian and some European pa
pers are very pacific, but directly it devolves
upon Japan to answer their tone, suddenly
becomes pessimistic. This Is very slgnlfl-
cant.
The fact, of course, Is that it Is Russia's
turn to reply now. and the blgsrest hul-
labaloo of ten years Is on full blast
This also "must be very significant,"
but to what purport we must leave the
wily Oriental mind to estimate.
"The company is now capitalized at
$25,000,000, but is apparently penniless,"
reads a Washington dispatch regarding
an Alaska railroad company which Is
seeking Government aid for the con
struction of a railroad from 'Valdes to
Tanana. There may be some question
about the merits of the scheme, but
from the financial showing that has
been made there can be no denying the
fact that they need the money. It la
not quite clear, however, why the com
pany stopped adding ciphers when they
were capitalizing. It Is just as eatsy for
penniless companies to Incorporate for
$25,000,000,000 as for the smaller sum.
The failure of C. B. Wade at Pendle
ton, unlike many such affairs, seems
likely to result in sympathy for the
principal loser. His misfortune gains In
claim on good wishes from the public.
In the admirable conduct of himself and
wife ln their efforts to deal Justly with
creditors. The nanic at the bank, sllcht
as It was and speedily as It was al
layed, does not reflect much credit upon
the depositors. It is strange that any
should tremble for the security of funds
Intrusted to an Institution at whose re
sponsible head stands the name of Levi
Ankeny.
The receipts at the Portland Custom-
House for the year 1903 were $769,333,
an average of over $2000 per day for
every day in the year. For a number
of years the Portland Custom.-House
has enjoyed the distinction of being the
most profitable to the Government of
any on the Pacific Coast, It costing less
to collect a dollar ln duty than in any
of the other Pacific Coast districts. The
returns on expenditures for the year are
not yet available, but from the heavy
receipts reported 4t Is a certainty that
the showing will be fully as satisfac
tory as in the past.
Pprtland will entertain a large num
ber of Influential visitors the coming
week. They are certain of cordial wel
come from everybody, and there Is no
better Initiative than greeting with the
National colors. So let the flags be fly
ing to the breeze early next Monday
morning.
He Knew.
Columbia Jester.
"This," said th lecturer, "is a picture ot
the Ipslcua roasidonlan thermomonocly-
tus. an animal that has been extinct for
over 4000 years." I
You re wrong there," saia a man at
the end of the room; "there's two o' thlm
with lvery bottle ot Coseys wnislty,
I8TERR0GATI0N MARK AT HOME
New York Sun,
-na 3U M lamng wooiuy; wet sny
was glaring biliously; the overshoes or j
ndS' populam
commuters, -u-ir- rlnrnnlnp- aloner stoiiaiv. I
wnen thl3 communication from the .City I
Qf Home3 drifted Into this office plain-
tltvely; I
To the Editor of the Sun-Sir: Ja order to
settle an argument, -Brill you lunaiy jei us
1 I 1 .w. t w r I
Is It wronc for a. wife to ask her husband
upon his return home, after several hours'
absence, where "he was? 'B- KATZ.
Brooklyn, December 29,
Not wrong In itself. The moral phi
losophers .will grant you that It Is no
trending UDon the corns of the aulntes-
sentlal, abstract and eternal right to ask
that delicate Question; and curiosity Is I
Lne mer 01 itnowieage. jl w naiura
",uu w"c suomu bo nneicsuw iu u 1
proajeumgs 01 ner party 01 me secunu 1
nilrt t Wn dteeretlnn
should 8tep ln to ranch. a
household not composed of . Illuminate
seraphim and saints cannot "be conducted
upon the plan of absolute and total con-
fessions and confidences. Married Man,
ln his present state, has an aversion to
publishing his diary every day. There
must be dark continents, unknown re-
1 gions In the geography of his days and
nights, and It is imprudent for a wife to
subject him to the time table. Some
smack of liberty clings to him from his
unregenerate and unmarried period. Is
he to come home and report ln full every
day or night to his unexpres3lve She?
Is he to say, meekly and duly, "at 5:15 I
1 had a Manhattan cocktail with Bill
jones. We walked up Broadway, Stopped
Lat Eddie's, where we met Jim Robinson
and Tom Smith," and so on? I
The porches of tho feminine ear are I
too delicate to be assailed with such 1
trivial, iona recoras. a oeautuui, irusi- 1
"""'"T 4
iiu v e cuiu xiv-up uiabt aim 4sv v 44 tvv
the devil to pay ln tho family when that
trust is dead. Besides, it is a peculiar
ity of Man to object to being questioned.
He resents examination. It Is likely to
make him gruff and reticent As he Is
always led by the nose by his wife If
she is even passably intelligent she can
afford to humor this little eccentricity.
shut up the more tightly and radiate
grumplness. The female trust company
must keep a proper reserve. In his own
hour and time, if he be left to himself,
he will be effusive enough about his
movements. The Instinct of ancestors
probably arboreal ln their habits Is still
strong hi him, .and he will chatter after
the manner of the Bandar Log; but be
easy with him until he has fed.
Observe the vayrlns accents of a chant
that many men hate to hear:
WHERE have you been?
Where HAVE you been?
Where have YOU been?
Where have you BEEN?
Never mind. Give It something to eat
Perhaps it is tired. You wanted it to
come home, didn't you? Well, It has
come. Welcome It Suppress the strain
of Indignation. The wise woman hath
said ln her heart: "AH men are chil
dren, and roost men are 'chumps "
When the machine has been greased and
stoked, perhaps the toy.wlll sing. Mean
while; don't monkey with It
After several hours' absence" the
heart should grow fonder. How. could
people live together at all If they had to-
ve together ail the time? Memorandum
to w-v?; Don't too many ques-
tlons; too much Interrogation makes the
nose turn up.
The Beauties of Subsidy.
Louisville Courier-Journal.
The 'Portland Oregonlan, which. though
a Republican newspaper, is not in love
with .the system of paying bounties to
ships, gives a significant example of how
I ll works In practice. It notes that ocean
freights there have been advanced a dol
lar a ton, so .that It costs $2500 more, to
carry a cargo of wheat to Europe. This
nA.nc I., ,lf r v. ji
ships by the score are strung all along
i t - ... v- viic kuai, iuic
the Pacific Coast
The reason for this is -attributed to the
French bounty system. When the bounty
fed ships of France found some difficulty
ln getting the rates they wanted, they
were ordered out on the ocean to sail
In ballast where they got under the law
a certain amount for every mile traveled.
Many of them are owned by British capi
talists, and they not only get a bounty
for sailing without "cargoes, but they
enable Other British ships, not subsidized.
to advance rates. Thus there Is a double
profit for the ship-owners, and higher
1 rates for the owners of produce that must
-?eelt a European market The ships un
der the French flag earn so much
from the bounty that they are Indifferent
as to cargoes.
The advocates of bounties ln the. United
States pretend that they will help the
shippers. But they are careful so to frame
their bills that the bounties must be paid
whether cargoes are carried or not The
Oregonlan shows that the French boun
ties actually contribute to put up freight
charges.
As to Next Year's Election.
New York Sun.
Opinions of Congressmen and prominent
politicians in the states as to the drift
of public sentiment concerning candidates
and platforms for next year have been
published, and they are interesting read
ing, but they are not Important
The really significant Indication Is that
in both parties the mast sagacious and
most conservative of the members are
giving to the whole subject of next year's
election serious attention and more gen
erally and earnestly than at any recent
period of American politics. The com
plaint so often uttered and the most In
telligent of the citizenship and the ablest
and most Influential ln the affairs of this
country outside of politics are neglectful
of their political duties was never justl-
I fled, and least of all has It any Justlflca
Hon now
The year which begins on Friday is like
ly to see developments which will sur
prise many of the political diagnosticians.
It will demonstrate that alter all, the
American people have not lost their po
litical sanity and are not In any danger
of losing It for the benefit of political
swashbucklers or Incendiaries or social
revolutionists.
Three months from now a canvass of
opinion concerning the political situation
will be far more valuable.
The Correspondence School.
Brooklyn Life.
(Vide back pages of all the magazines.)
Are you satisfied with your present salary?
Why not learn how to charm the gallery"
We teach the actor's art by mall
With a guarantee that you cannot fail.
As Armour & Co. have agreed to take
All the raw hams which we can make.
Can you play a tune on a nne-tooth comb?
We train virtuosi by mall, at home.
M. Pat de Reszke. the famed musician,
Guarantees each pupil a fine position,
As he has a method which we control.
Whereby each stick may become a Pole.
Poets made by malL How can you be sure
That you haven't a .genius for literature?
Our Mr. Rellly gives special care
To every It prepare.
And gives his personal guarantee
That one of his poems shall be printed, free.
We will make your fortune here and now.
Our Finance by Mail will tell you how. .
We guarantee the success of each
And every pupil that we may teach.
As our Mr. Morgan agrees, to take
All money that all of our students make.
I it mn re sleklr and puny and pale.
I we teaci you to lift a horse by mall.
I Have you had misfortune? Are you In jail?
I w- teach you how to get out by man.
j Would you learn, to write these ads? Don't fall
I To study our system taugnt py may-
PLAY FOR TRUANTS.
Chicago Tribune.
is wie, qi course, mat m preventing
tne truant from developing Into the crim-
SlS
".uani. scaooi. jjt. wooqs tiutcninsoa. t
a recent article In Contemporary Re- j
view, saia mat if he had: to choose be- j
Z-v laygrouna wimout a scnooi ana
"
-pinvnnri ?. .,..ii
. .... d uuJdiUlUMbl 1U I
Tl t?"'"0.. iue uiiu
I as welL as the body, the Judgment as well
as the muscles, morals as well as ohysiaue.
in our river wards, where nlayjrrouads
are a necessity of civilization, the school- -
boy nnds no vent for his spirits exceot
in tne auDious pleasures of the street and
of the alley. It 13 almost Impossible for
him to escape becoming a petty tres-
passer. The depredations which the coun-
try ooy commits innocuously on fields.
woous ana streams, uiq meieenm w ara
ooy commits viciously on ouuaings. cars
tracks Snrmiinrlod n ll .M.. W
things which he must not touch, his flights
against the bars of hl3 cage land him In
court.
In the Nineteenth ward hardly any
schools have playgrounds. There is
cramped playground at the Andrew Jack
son school, but the children are not al
lowed to use It -because of the loud noises
which they emit during the process. At
the Skinner school the playground is
paved with brick, a curious public ex
penditure which betrayed Probation OffU
cer Riddle into the unkind remark that
he would like to take the contractor to
his brick playground and make him test
the bricks ln a slide for second base.
The Illinois Legislature of 1201 author-
ized the Board of Education to condemn
hand for playgrounds in connection with
schools. In the name of the boy whose
body is all a-tlngle for exercise and whose
buoyancy of spirits Is now diverted into
disorderly conduct, let the board act on
una aumgniauun as last as it can,
The Case -Against Smoot.,
Harper'3 Weekly.
It Is well known that the accused Sena
tor from Utah Is one of the so-called 12
apostles of the Mormon Church. The pro-
teat Is signed by 18 citizens of Utah, of
whom 14 are Republicans and four Demo
crats. It avers that the Mormon hier
archy Is Invested with supreme authority
the mandates of this authority are an
nounced and transmitted by the first
president and 12 apostles; that, as
matter of faith or belief, thlB body of men
has not abandoned polygamy, and that.
consequently, it must be held to connive
at and encourage polygamus practices.
mis protest may seem, at the first
glance, to raise a nice question, but we do
not believe that the Federal Senate or the 1
umiea oiaies supreme uourt wouia nave 1
mucn aimcuity in deciding it. It should
be obvious to all intelligent men that the
absolute religious liberty guaranteed by
our Constitution would be devoid of prac
tlcal significance If the professor of par
tlcular beliefs could be held responsible
for the translation of those beliefs Into
acts by others. How could a Chinese, a
Japanese, a Moslem, a Jew, or even an
agnostic, be secure ln his citizenship
under such an Interpretation of our Fed
erai organic law? Tnere is but one rea-
sonadie ana endurable construction or the
wuguiuvtuii, uiui man a ciaviiai uc
iieu. ur mm uiu ieueia at me cmircn to
fu-thmHtiM hflVA nhfti,itPiU -whw
j t .t.i j
vv TI
-,i,i , t-jqi , T .i.f
Vghest deee durtS
mately fatal to the principle of complete
toleration In matters of opinion and be
lief If the construction of the Constitu
tion advocated by many well-meaning
persons ln the case of Senator Smoot
shpuld be accepted by the Senate and
sanctioned by the United States Supreme
Court.
How the Minister Evened Matters.
Philadelphia Telegraph
"Cheap men always get It In the neck
eod and hard,' observed the big watch-
man whrt kMM nlchtJir -trfrrfl In th rtnrfr
man who' keeps nightly vigil in the dark
and gloomy corridors of the City Hall's
seventh floor.
Filling up his old briar, and getting It
in working order, he continued, as he
struck a match: "No, sir: it never pays
to be cheap. Now, here's a friend of
mine, a watchman in the building, who
Just illustrates the point to a big T. Bu
lla Is his name, and he decided to get mar
ried, just a short time ago.
"He led his lady up to the altar, and
they were duly made man and wife by
the minister. Well, sir, they went down
the aisle arm ln arm, Billle quite forget
ting to pay the minister his little recom
pense. This was all O. K. from Blllie's
viewpoint and he had in mind applying
the 5 or 510 that usually goes to the man
of the word to the expenses of tho honey
moon. The minister didn't say a word.
but on Billie's return a special assessment
was levied on him for pew rent The as
sessment was to the tune of $15, and as
nobody else was in on the game, Billle
had funny thoughts. He Is sorry now
that he didn't cough up to the parson.
No, sir," repeated the watchman, em-
phatlcally, "cheapness- don't pay."
Some New Year's Resolutions.
New York Sun.
Nebuchadnezzar was considering
some New Year resolutions.
"I would like to swear off chewing,'
he remarked, "but under present con
ditions it is impossible."
Hunting up some more grass, he fin
ished his repast
Belshazzar observed the writing on
the wall.
'T-I think." ho resolved hastily, "af
ter January 1 I won!t have any more
late suppers."
Shortly after, the course of events
pnfnrr.ed hla resolution. '
Queen Elizabeth was holding her New
Year reception.
"I suppose, she remarked playfully.
"you have all sworn off the ax. It Is
very likely to go to your heads."
Noting the forced laughter which fol
lowed, she chuckled at her wit
Sir Walter Raleigh had imported the
first tobacco.
"Isn't it magnificent?" he asked.
"No," replied the sulky populace,
you've Just started another thing to
swear off at New Year's."
For Washington's Benefit.
Spokane Chronicle.
A bill that passed the special session
of tho Legislature may directly benefit
Eastern Washington even more than it
will the neighbor state. The bill was one
appropriating $100,000 for the purchase
of the right of way for a canal around
the falls In the Columbia River at The
Dalles. This Is a step towards the con
struction of a canal which when com
pleted will give Eastern Washington
water transportation to the Coast for Its
wheat and, it Is estimated, will at the
same time give her freight rates that will
average 4 cents cheaper. Much of this
saving should go into the pockets of the
farmers throughout the section near Spo
kane and Increase the wealth of the
people.
A rARAJIOUT ISSUE.
3Co crime calls for sterner reprobation
than the crime of the corrnptlonlst In pub
lic life, and the man who seeks to corrupt
him. The bribegiver and the bribetaker are
equally guilty. Both alike sin against the
primary law of the state's safety. All ques
tions of dlaerenco in party poucy sinx into
Insignificance when the peojjle ot this coun-
try are brought face to lace wun a question
Ilka this, which lies at the root of honest
and decent srovernment From President
Roosevelt's written comment upon Fourth
Assistant Postmaster-General BrIstows re-
port upon Postofflco Department delinquen
cies.
NGTE AND. COMMENT, . ,
More Sentence Sermons.
Psalms don't seem half so Impres-
f f "
" It used to be that most people .went
to; church, at least three times when
they were baptised, married and bur-
led. Nowadays they are not baptised.
arc married bv a magistrate and -n-hen
" "
uiejr um mo) c wCiuau.
some curates merely aDanaon their
mothers apron strings tor those of a.
bishop.
A bishop without gaiters must be
very dignified to look at all episcopal.
The church tenor is often a twofer.
Ifs easy enbugh to read the lesson;
the trouble Is to heed it.
A big fee makes a beautlful brlde.
The best preacher reads the Bible
with less interest than the morning pa
per.
Few temperance people are- really
quite easy In their minds when they
recall the miracle at Cana.
The Climbers;
A 45-story building is to be erected In
New York. - , .
Ah. merrily beat my heart. "
And youth In my pulse throbbed. -
As I left the. noise of the mart
And up to 'this office bobbed. '
With pleasure a-tlngle, " " ,
I hung up my shingle.
And waited for patients to part.
That was sixty long years ago, '
And. now I am old and sad; v
I've gathered ln oodles of doush, . -But
I long for my life as a lad.
When gay as a throstle
With others I'd Jostle.
"Wy down on the pavements below.
It would take so much of my time '
To descend from the forty-fifth floor.
That not since the days of my prime
Have I dared to go out of my door,
rm an object for pity,
Alone In a city. ,
A lesson to those who 'would climb.
A Holy Roller gathers no moss.
Whalebone at $15,000 a ton begins to
climb after radium.
A mayor has been elected ln New As
toria. His name is Mudd.
Few of us will ask for police protec
tion if we must be kissed by the cops.
Some Insults cannot be wiped -out.
One is to call a man a "perfect gentle-
mn.n
Rooms for light housekeeping are verr scares
at Salem. Salem Journal.
How Is the supply of light housekeepers?
New York is to have a 45-story building.
The Man In the Moon will soon be apply
ing for an injunction.
"Young Corbett" Is said to be giving up
champagne for matrimony. And cham-
najrne exhilarates rvm if t loto ,i,
I regret
Th8 Mozart," of British Colum-
I bla. need 15. -Ififlpr" tv T-tTir,r.toi
and escaned "into m
ti . r. . - .
ZZl " " '
Commenting on a phrase In the Presi
dent's message the purist Boston
Transcript said:
"Very unique." O Mr. Roosevelt!
On the same page was this sentence;
And the awful drain by the outflow of the
young and virile of both sexes continues.
"Young and virile of both sexes!" O,
Transcript!
Our Lady of the Snows does not always
wear furs and all Western Oregonlans are
t b . . , ".
I not weD-IOOteO. Ine Toronto.
to ..World Ik
moved to discourse on general 'and rriTnt
taken Impressions In this vein:
"Our Iidr of the Snows" is not the onlv
place ln the world that suffers from a ma
ligned climate. Kngland In general and Lon
don ln particular have no less been the victims
of the epigrammatist and the phrasemonger.
Emerson, ln his English Traits, quotes the re
marks of the witty Frenchman, that the
metropolis without a fog was like looking up
cnimney, and m a- fog like looking down
one. Another of the same mercurial race,
after six weeks continuous experience of spe
cial London weather, wrote a friend in his
beloved patrie, and asked him to report
whether the sun was still shining, as he had
seen nothing of It during his sojourn among
the beefsteak and pudding-eaters. "Puir auld
Scotland" has not escaped, either, and her
misty atmosphere finds no harder critic than
the befogged Englishman, One of the super
cilious Sassenachs about to ascend a Highland
coach ln the midst of sr perfect deluge, already
several days old. was genially accosted by the
water-proof whip, who opened the conversa
tion by remarking affably that they "were
bavin a bit shooer an he wadna wonner to
see- rain afore nicht." Anyway, Canada never
had quite so pungent a criticism as that of the
aggrieved Yankee, who wound up his deliver
ance with the crushing verdict that Britain
had no weather at ail, but only samples.
Damp as Astoria occasionally may be, It
is far ahead of the part of Scotland
where the native was asked by a distin
guished visitor, "Does it always rain
here?" "No," answered the Inhabitant,
"it whiles snaws."
WEX. J.
OUT OF THE GINGER JAR.
"Why is It Willie Is always so quiet when
riding In the street cars?" "Why, his pa told
him those straps could be detached." Phila
delphia Record.
Customer I'va found out that the Ballon ol
whisky you sold me is doctored. Dealer Um
well, you said you wanted it for medical use.
New York Weekly.
"So .It wasn't a very happy wedding, after
all?" '"I should judge not, from what I saw.
Not a woman shed a tear during the cere
mony." Cincinnati Times-Star.
Fogg I'm surprised that Harry's parents
should be so strongly opposed to his marriage.
Bass-rOh! I don't know. They ara married
themselves, you know. Boston Transcript.
"His keen gray eye fell upon her finely
chiseled Hps and clear-cut brow, while the
blood, springing to her cheeks, showed how
deep had been the wound which he had in
flicted." Chicago Tribune.
Mr. Jones Oh. yes; I met Dick Baehellor and
told him all about the baby. Mrs. Jones Did
he listen patiently? Mr. Jones Very; ro
listened so patiently that I was afraid at first
he wanted to borrow money. Puck.
She what are these magazine guns the
papers tell about so often? He-r-Probably lt'3
some gun powerful enough to send a projec
tile through the adverUsing portion of the
average faagazine. Chicago Daily News.
"What are you doing with your hand hn
my pockets?" demanded the man who had
been gazing ln the shop window. "Why, sir."
whined the crook, "der ain't no pockets in-dese
trousers, an' me hands are cold." Chicago
NeWB.
"It seems," said the leader of the rescuing
party, "that the Bandits' bound and gagged
you In the regular comic-opera style." "Oh I
no, they didn't," replied the victim. "The
gags they used were entirely new." Chicago
News.
"Do you mean to say you didn't give that
horsethlef a trial by Jury?" "We didn'f
dare," answered Broncho Bob. "If anything
as unusual as a trial took place, the whole
town ud turn out to see It, and some one
would be sure to sneak in and steal more
horses." Washington Star.
"My dear," said the sick man. "you know
I ordered a sealskin sacque for you for this
Christmas, but in view of my present condi
tion I think we had better cancel the order."
"But, John." replied the loving wife, "a seal
skin sacque wouldn't be inappropriate for me
under any circumstances. I've seen any num
ber of widows wearing them." Philadelphia
Press.