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'.TORXIaAXD, FRIDAY, OCTOBER 23, 1303.
e
THE UNEXPECTED MAY HAPPEN.
The prospect of "war between Russia
and Japan is less imminent than it was
ten days ago, but the unexpected may
happen and war break out tomorrow.
The unexpected war has been frequent
in history because the best-laid plans of
statesmen and diplomats often go
astray through some unforeseen event
which stirs the passions of human na
ture on both sides so deeply that there
Is an abrupt end to negotiations and
the debate Is closed by an irrepressible
srush.to arms.
The American Revolution opened un
expectedly in the little fight of Lexing
ton and Concord between a body of
English soldiers and two or three com
panies of cornstalk volunteers "who un
fittingly "fired a shot that echoed,
round tho world." The Crimean War
broke out "When It was not- seriously
expected, and so-"with the Fr.ncoItal
ian "War of 1S59. The " war between
Prussia and Austria In 18C6 could not'
have happened if Bismarck had not
persuaded Eling William to violate the
Prussian constitution in order "to pre
cipitate it. The Fran co -German "War
of 1870-71 was unexpected. Everything
promised for peace, and war only came
at the last moment through Bismarck's
audacity in giving a false coloring to a
Prench dispatch in order .to. persuade
King "William of Prussia that there was
no honorable retreat from war.
War has been made frequently with
out any formal declaration beyond the
hostile movement of the aggressor Into
tho enemyB oountry. The American
Civil War broke out suddenly, follow
ing tho firing against Sumter at a time
when the leading statesmen of the
North with very few exceptions be
lieved that peace was still possible
through compromise. The best proof
that the North did not seriously expect
war "was its woful stave of unpre
paredness for war outside of the State
of Massachusetts. Our war with Spain
Over Cuba was unexpected. But for
the blowing up of the Maine and the
utter fatuity of Spain in refusing to
accept responsibility for the disaster by
promptly offering to pay indemnity
there would have been no war. The
mood of both parties in Congress, the
temper of President McKinley before
the blowing up of the Maine, clearly
promised peace, not war; and even tho
destruction of the Maine would not
have caused war but for the refusal of
Spain to admit any moral or pecuniary
responsibility for the sinking of our
ship of war - In a Spanish harbor in
time of peace.
These historical facts show that war
between Russia .and Japan might be
precipitated tomorrow by some entirely
unexpected collision between the mili
tary or naval forces of the hostile pow
ers, or by the rash. Intemperate action
of some subordinate on either side.
There are good economic reasons why
neither Russia nor Japan desires war
today. Russia does not wish to tie her
hands in settling the Macedonian ques
tion, and war with Japan would absorb
a large part of the military forces of
the Russian Empire and' would cost a
great deal of money. In event of war
with Japan England would assert her
self strongly In the Mediterranean and
regain something of its lost influence at
the court of the Sultan. Japan does not
want war. She needs peace and ma
terial development more than anything
else. War with Russia would necessi
tate a loan, and it Is doubtful if a Jap
anese loan could be raised. The states
men of Russia and Japan are doubtless
Averse to war, but imprudent conduct on
part of the Russian representatives at
PortArthur, Pekin or Toklo could easily
precipitate a conflict in spite of the de
termination of the Czar and his govern
ment at St Petersburg. So in Japan
the leaders of the present Cabinet can,
if they choose, bring on war, but these
Japanese statesmen .are all men of abil
ity and European education, and they
know and appreciate the limitations ot
Japan's strength and preparations for
a conflict with Russia. War therefore
Is not probable, and yet some untoward
act on either side may bring on hos
tilities tomorrow.
Japan does not care about Manchuria,
but she does care about Corea. It was
to maintain the independence of Corea
against the Chinese claim of suzerainty
that Japan went to war with China in
XS91, And to save Corea from Man
churia's fate Japan will surely fight,
just as -we would be -obliged to light l
France should attempt to occupy and
absorb Mexico. In the treaty of Toklo,
signed in 1898, between Russia and
Japan, both powers agreed to refrain
from all direct interference in the In
ternal affairs of "Corea. The Russians
have begun what looks like an attempt
ed colonization of the Corean side of
the Talu Valley. There is a Russian
settlement on the Corean side of the
mouth of the Talu, which the Japanese
army officers regard with apprehension,
since if fortified it is capable of com
manding the whole south side of the
Yalu estuary. This !s a situation which
might easily be made to produce war.
If either side desires one.
Corea Is one-half larger than Florida,
mountainous; fertile, and full of unde
veloped resources. Japan can obtain in
Corea a place ot settlement for its over
flowing population, for the employment
of its capital and the development of
its trade. The retail trade of Corea is
already in the hands of Japanese mer
chants, who also have a brisk trade In
the north with Manchuria. Japan holds
the telegraphs of Corea and guards its
capital. . Corea commands the coasts of
Japan, and Russia, once in military
possession, couftl bar Japan from the
trade of the mainland. Russia last
Spring put in a claim to a railroad'
route to the Corean capital connecting
with the Russian railroad system in
Manchuria. Japan cannot afford the
occupation of Corea by Russia, for in
that event Japan would be obliged to
create a great fleet that would be al
ways strong enough o defend. Japanese
coasts. If Japan had as full and long a
purse as Great Britain, she could do
this, but her resources ace not equal
to the perpetual support of such a navy
as that of Great Britain. But the Jap
anese fleet is equal to tha defense of Its
coast so long as Corea is neutral or
held by Japan. Corea Is coveted also
by both Russia and Japan, because of
its gold fields, which promise to com
pare favorably in respect to rich gold
deposits with our own Alaska, and in
addition to gold Corea has extensive
copper mines as well as sliver, and has
vast deposits of coal.
AN OUTWORN SURVIVAL.
The bill carried through the British
Parliament last Winter, which in
creases the power of the Established
Church of England over public educa
tion, is supplying an additional argu
ment, of no small weight, to those who
Insist on complete disestablishment
It was predicted freely when the bill
was passed that it would contribute to
this result. But the English are pro
verbially slow in their political and so
cial movements, and It could hardly
have been supposed that consequences
would be coming Into sight so soon.
Tet it is certain that every new
measure for support of the church
through the offices of the state, and In
deed every debate on measures of this
character, brings disestablishment
nearer. In England church and state
are by no means synonymous terms,
but an established church is a sur
vival from the days when church and
state were truly one. The law which
made the head of the state the head
of the church was not so illogical in the
sixteenth century as it has become in
the twentieth; but it had an excuse,
for it represented a -theory which had
agitated "and divided all Europe since
,the early efforts of the popes to estab
lish supreme authority, and even from
,the days of Constnntlne. In England,
sas In many1 other countries, there had
been long controversy between King
, and clergy, which culminated in the
reign of Henry VIli; and the breach
with Rome was almost accomplished
before the authority of the pope was
finally repudiated. The King was set
up as a substitute head of the church,
but the state does not presume to dic
tate his religion to the citizen. He Is
free to choose. The trouble Is that the
conception on which tho establishment
rests has been outgrown; so that the
people are now crying out against the
increased support that has been given
by recent legislation to church schools.
This situation or condition is certain
to be used as a further argument fqr
total disestablishment. Nonconformity,
which now represents members much
greater than those of the Established
Church, fully believes that here Is a
new beginnig of the end. It is certain
that no middle ground can on this sub
ject be held for long, in these latter
times. Never again in any country can
church and state be one and the same
thing and total separation of their
functions and authority is the only log
ical and only possible antithesis or
alternative. Under free discussion in
any country the problem will work
itself out In disestablishment.
TO IMPOUND WATERS.
Timely articles In current magazines
by Professor Haupt and Senator Bur
ton, of Kansas, suggest remedies for
conditions that follow floods at one sea
son of the year and drouth at an
other in the Mississippi Basin, which
are worthy of consideration. Senator
Burton is chairman of the House com
mittee on rivers and harbors, and has
given much time and attention to these
conditions in this capacity. After care
ful investigation he agrees with Pro
fessor Haupt that no adequate remedy
can be provided for floods in the Mis
sissippi Basin without proper provision
is made for storing tho waters.
The rainfall year by year is tolerably
even in volume, butin some years it is
not normally distributed. Immense
quantities come down at short intervals
and floods result Periods In which
there is practically no rainfall follow
and drouth results. Remedial meas
ures for tho first condition have been
confined to the building, of levees, rais
ing them year by year, to protect tho
lands subject to overflow from the en
croachment of tho waters; for the sec
ond to sending relief to tho people
whose crops have failed from lack of
moisture. In time, if theN.flrst process
is continued, the bed of the Mississippi
River, like that of the Yellow River, in
China, will be above the surrounding
country.
Professor Haupt's idea and it can
scarcely be called a new one la to im
pound the surplus waters in great ba
sins now existing along the Mississippi,
where comparatively little expense
would be required. The waters thus
imprisoned could be let out when the
river ran low. The British government
has done this at Assouan, on the Nile,
thereby doubling the agricultural ca
pacity of the adjacent country. Every
consideration of economy and safety
urges that this plan be inaugurated in
this country.
It is evident that most of the work
done on tho Mississippi River looking
to the control of conditions of flood and
drouth has been useless. At best the
levee system is but a makeshift, that,
like blackmail, increases as often as the
stress of Its demand is njet The-time
has come when the matter must be
dealt with in a scientific and enlight
ened manner. The Chinese know of no
other way to keep the terrible Yellow
River from spreading, in seasons ot
flood, over their lands: Americans see
a better, safer and in the end a more
economical way.
According to careful estimates, this
country thirty years hence will not be
able to raise more wheat than it con
sumes, unless better methods of culture
are introduced The impounding of the
Waters of our great rivers is considered
the Hrst step toward solving the prob
lem of increased agricultural produc
tion. This much being conceded, the
beginning of the work should nbt be
unnecessarily ' 'delayed. Haste In the
prosecution of ariy great work Is more
than likely to result in waste. The
Government, for this good a"nd suffi
cient reason, never, hurries Its under
takings of peace. For this reason also
it should not be unduly slow in making
a beginning.
WHEAT MARKET DEADLOCKED.
With the lowest ocean freight rate on
record and a wheat and barley crop
but slightly below the average of recent
years, the grain business In Oregon and
Washington Is nearer td a standstill
than at any corresponding period in
many years. Almost without exception
In former years the last week In Octo
ber has Witnessed a heavr prnnrt mmr .
ment from Portland and Tacoma, while
saies ot wheat for future delivery at
these points have amounted to millions
of bushels, most of the wheat for No
vember shipment and, a portion of that
for December and January shipment
being purchased before November i.
The deadlock now existing between
farmers and exporters presents some
Interesting features when compared
with the situation in former years, a3
well as earlier in the season;
When wheat was selling in Portland
at 80c and Sic for Walla Walla, and
a3 high as 85c and 66c for bluestem,
about two months ago, It was pointed
out that the price was above the value
of the cereal in any other market on
earth. It was also explained in detail
that this abnormal value was caused
by millers who were so unfortunate as
to sell a considerable quantity of flour
without first securing the wheat from
which to make It It Is always a good
time to sell an article when the price
reaches a figure in excess of its actual
value as determined by general, and
not local, conditions, and the farmers
who. unloaded ettrller In the season re
ceived about 10 per cent more for their
wheat than they would have since been
able to secure. The fierce competition
that has raged among 'North Pacific
wheatbuj-ers for the past four years
has proved highly remunerative to the
farmers and disastrous to the profits of
the dealers. The farmers have become
so accustomed to this competition and
its attendant high prices that they are
expecting It to continue through the
present season as it has continued
through former seasons.
It Is this expectation that Is causing
the present deadlock, for the exporters
have gained wisdom by the past, and at
the present time have smaller tonnage
engagements to meet than ever before
at the same pe'riod'ln the season. Even
at the lowest freight rate on record
from tidewater points on the Pacific
Coast to Europe, it Is Impossible for
exporters to pay the prjee demanded
"by farmers and- come out even on the
transaction. The deadloclc thus result
ing, is not only hampering business
along, the Coast but it is enabling the
wheatgrowers of Russia, India, Canada,
the Argentine and other countries to
supply the foreign demand at higher
prices than they would otherwise se
cure. This feature, of course, is bene
ficial to the foreigners, but it may have
a tendency to satisfy the demand which
warrants present prices and leave some
American farmers to take what is left
for a market price.
Wheat at the present time Is not high
compared with many other commodities
which have been caught, on the rising
tide of prosperity, and it may go still
higher, bu the farmer who believes it
will can speculate with a much smaller
degree of risk by selling the actual
wheat and buying futures in Uverpool
or Chicago. By this method he will be
sure of getting for the actual wheat the
full value warranted by the lowest
ocean freight rate on record, and he
can replace the wheat In Liverpool or
Chicago with a differential in his favor.
Except In a very small way, both ex
porters and millers have twisted their
thumbs out from under the screws of
the farmer, and the business from this
time forward is almost certain to be
conducted with prices on a parity with
those Of other markets at home and
abroad. If it cannot be conducted on
this basis, the present deadlock will
continue Indefinitely, or at least until
the foreigners have unloaded all of
their cheap wheat
Rich land in the South is offered for
settlement at very low prices, and Is
attracting the attention and securing
the Investment funds of people In the
Northwest. At present there is a move
mentof farmers to Louisiana and Texas
from the Northern States. This drift
has been started by the great railroad
systems of the MIssIssIddI Vallev. who
khave made systematic efforts the past
iew years xo mauce settlement of rich
but vacant lands In the Gulf region.
Some forty German families from Mich
igan have taken up a 6000-acre tract on
the Teche River, in Louisiana. An ag
ricultural colony of French Canadians
Is to be established near Summeryille,
S. C. These hardworking Germans'and
French Canadians are the right sort of
men to develop tho rlchS agricultural
resources of tho Gulf Stated. They aro
hardy and industrious; they will not
dabble in politics; they will be content
with either party in powor so long aa
crops are good and markets accessible,
New England Yankees, save when they
aro largo manufacturing capitalists, are
better fitted to succeed In tho North
west than to undertake the develop
ment of farming lands in the Gulf
States of the South, for a Yankee Is
never quite content to raise a crop and
market it at a good price; he also likes
to mingle in politics and sometimes
makes his new home too hot to hold
him.
War and -'rumors of war in the far
East have caused an unprecedented de
mand for breadstuffs and other neces
sary equipment for conflict, and Pacific
Coast producers are reaping the benefit
The steamship Elba cleared yesterday
for Kobe, Japan, with the largest cargo
of wheat ever sent from this country
to the Orient, and the steamship Algoa
will clear next week with tha largest
cargo of flour ever cleared from any
port Portland exporters are handling
more of this wheat and flour business
than Is being secured by the exporters
of any other city oa toe Pacific Coast
The prestige thus gained in that rich
field for traffic across the Pacific will
not easily be wrested from the Oregon
dealers, and under normal conditions It
will be impossible for the millers and
wheat dealers east of the Rocky Moun
tains to share in this branch of the Ori
ental trade. Any discriminative rates
on the part.Of the transcontinental lines
which would admit of this trade being
handled by the Middle West or North
west would be the signal for still lower
rates from the producing localities of
tie Pcmb Northwest The trade of
the Orient will some day reach big pro
portions, arid no other portion of the
country Is so favorably located for se
curing l Ohd holding it as the North
Pacific Coast ports. These ports not
only have a vast percentage in their
favor in the way of distance, but the
tributary territory produces that of
which the Orientals are most In need;.
Little Plume, a valiant Blackfoot In
dian of a Montana reservation, who,
primed with firewater; recently went ort
the warpath with the result that seven
bf his tribe; including his wife, Were
quickly added to the long list of good
Indians, has made a detailed state
ment of bis exploit; A shell stuck In
his gun and stopped the slaughter oth
erwise the frenzied savage would, as he
says, have killed fourteen others. Hav
ing 'nothing but a. knife)" he desisted;
and, having learned craft as well as
bbtalned whisky from the civilizing
forces about him, be slashed himself
twice in the arm and once In the throat
so he would not be suspected of the
murders" All doubt regarding the
softening Influences of civilization, as
radiating from tho white man's exam
pie In and around Indian reservations,
must be dispelled by his confessionj
Whleh concludes: "Ihjid no reason to
do as I did except that I was drunk:"
The "poor fellow" plea that has proved
efficacious In many instances when en
tered in behalf of white men who have
committed murder when "In liquor"
will hardly save this redskin's neck
He will probably meet speedy and just
penalty at the end of a rope.
Captain Mclntyre Is mistaken in the
assumption that the cause which led to,
the wreck of the steamer South Port
land is a matter in which the public
has no legitimate interest Had he, as
commander of the unfortunate vessel,
been one of the last to leave her, he
probably would not have been unwill
ing to give his account of the disaster
to the press.
To' every man upon the earth
Death cometh soon or late.
And he who, In heroic performance
of duty, meets his fate, may well be
accounted more fortunate than he who
succeeds in adding d feW years, more
or less, to his' life by being recreant to
duty, which recreancy Involves the
lives of others. Captain Mclntyre may
have done all that ho could as master
of the South Portland to save the lives
that were in his care, but the fact If
It Is a fact that he was one" of the first
to leave tho sinking ship, and his re
fusal to make "a statement of thd dis
aster, so anxiously awaited by the pub
lic, do not bear out this charitable as
sumption. The pathetic end of an energetic, toll
ing, life Is recorded In the death of
Charles M. Patterson, who died from
Injuries received, in the burning of the
old shanty on East Washington street
which he and his aged wife occupied
under the name of a home. It is said
by those who knew the forlorn old man
in his age. and penury that he was In
dependent of charity to the last, .eking
out in various small, pitiful ways a liv
ing for himself and wife. He spent
many hours of the past Summer in
saving and Btoring for his Winter's
fuel boards from the abandoned road
way on East Washington street, and in
his age as in his sturdier years he
asked no man to help him. Among the
victims of the Portland Savings Bank
in lts failure- and the subsequent mis
management of Its funds, there was no
greater sufferer than this humble,
hard-working, eccentric old man, over
whom the grave will close today.
The Clackamas District Pomona
Grange, representing eighteen Grange
organizations, at a recent session held
in Oregon City adopted resolutions
strongly disapproving of the decision
of the Circuit Court of Multnomah
County whereby the initiative and ref
erendum amendment was declared un
constitutional. The attitude of the
Grange upon this question is well
known. The measure embodies Its Idea
of safe, just and equitable legislation.
In this view the decision that sent this
amendment to the Supreme Court upon
the serious arraignment of unconstitu
tionality Is considered a violation of
the wishes and rights of the people,
and is characterized as strained, nar
row and purely technical. Intelligent
people who have the courage of their
convictions are entitled to a respect
ful hearing.
The esteemed Big Bill Devery, of New
York, does not prophesy, a rosy political
future for young Mr. McClellan. Here
Is how he describes tho defeat that
awaits the Tammany man next month:
Just mark what Dovery'a eayln. We'll
have that funeral an' the Tiger's corpse'
will bo on hand right at the minute. The
funeral procession will bo like this:
, POLICE.
Charlie Murphy's Gong All Chained.
Tho Hearse, Driven by Mr. Devery.
Board of Health with a Disinfectant.
Cheerln' Multitudes.
The route of tho procession will be from
city hall to West treet, and then to tho
pier, whero a scow will Ball for "Wantage
and the Dairy graveyard. That's right.
Whether or not the Russian people
have clean hands 1b a matter of discus
sion in many a chancellorle, but there
is no doubt that the nation has a fond
ness for brlghtly-shlnlng shoes, and In
consequence there is a great demand
for blacking and polish, This Is where
the American exporter comes upon the
scene; and through his work half the
Russians see their faces reflected in the
glassy "ahlne" produced by American
blacking, As the American bootblack
is admittedly the best in the world,
why should he not take a shine to the
oountry and act as an advance agent
for Occidental polish?
Italians are beginning to regret the
wholesale destruction of cork forests in
their provinces. Some of the trees have
been burned for charcoal, and other
wasteful courses have been pursued
until the value of tho cork exported
annually has sunk to $250,000 as against
Spain's export of 56,000,000. As the
cork-oak trees easily reach an age of
200 years, and begin producing in their
30th year, it is evident that no super
vision has been exercised over the for
ests, and thtas an Important- industry
has Deen practically kilted.
1
GUESSES FROM THE OUTSIDE.
Chicago Tribune.
Here is an incomplete list of the peoplo
who make guesses from' the. outside:
The minister who, overhears a poMce
man talking about some levee resort and
who then tells his congregation that wo
men's clubs are addicted to cocktails and
cigarettes.
Tho reformer who frequents radical
meetings and who comes to tho conclu
sion that the capitalists ot the United
States are sitting about a green baize
table conspiring against tho education and
elevation of the working class.
The business man who reads a chance
editorial in an anarchistic paper and who
becomes convinced that trade union and
socialist agitators are organizing a sub
terranean conspiracy for the purpose of
despoiling and perhaps guillotining all
persons who now own property.
The socialist who reads the newspaper
accounts of a few sermons against social
ism and who announces to the world that
ministers are hypocrites and "grafters,"
and that they have entered into a con
scious conspiracy with capitalism to main
tain . the present social system, and to
shoro the profits.
The temperance lecturer who fallows the
cartoon's in the Ram's Horn and who
seems when he Is Ori the platform to be
lieve that the chief feature of every sa
loon Is a little racsed child becslnc
father to put down his glass Of distilled
damnation and eoine home to his starving
family;
The college boy who knows that the
members o.f his own -fraternity are as
belplessly innocent as lambs, but who
can't believe that the members of other
fraternities are in the same predicament
and who therefore bates to go to bed be
cause he can just see those other fellows
gathering around the oaks on the campus
and laying horrid plots. -
Tne mart who bos never been inside a
newspaper office; but who never believes
anything he sees in the newspapers be
cause, as he says with a knowing look,
"You ean't fool me" ,
Are such people social pests? Or are
they merely bores? One'ri opinion about
them varies because, however annoying
they may be, they are always diverting.
The proper punishment for them would
perhaps be to collect them in a dime mu
seum and force them to debate with each
other for the amusement of the populace.
The Rev. "William B. Leach, for in
stance, who says that all clubwomen
smoke cigarettes, might be scheduled to
meet Emma Goldman, who says that min
isters are lazy, Insincere parasites. Mr.
Leach nei'er goes to clubs. Mtes Goldman
never goes to church. They would both
be eloquent They always are. They can
both construct a universal generalization
out of half of a half-substantiated half
truth.
But let the rest of us take warning. Tho
guessing habit Is in the air. Let us wrap
ourselves ' up against contagion. Let us
adopt as our dally motto, and hang It up
In a passcpartouted frame, tho sentiment:
"Guessing from the outside is as bad aa
telling lies from tho Inside."
SIR HECTOR MACDONALD.
The Charges Against Him Text of
an Exonerating Report.
From tho Montreal Star.
An official report has reached London on
the charges which were made against Sir
Hector Macdonald at the time ho com
mitted suicide in a Paris hotel. The thou
sands of admirers of "Fighting Mac" over
the world will be pleased to hear that the
committee of investigation at. Colombo,
Ceylon, mako a report completely exoner
ating him. It is as follows:
Government Buildings, Colombo. In refer
ence to the crave charges made against the
late Sir Hector Macdonald, we, the appointed
and undersigned commissioners. Individually
and collectively declare on oath that after tho
most careful, minute and exhaustive Inquiry
and Investigation of the whole circumstances
and 'facts connected with the sudden and un
expected death of the late Sir Hector Macdon
ald, unanimously and unmistakably And abso
lutely nb'j reason or -crime whatsoever which
would crJate feellnsa such as would deter-jnlne-
suicide. In preference to conviction of any
crime affecting the moral and Irreproachable
.character ot so brave, so fearless, so glorious
and unparalleled ft. hero; and we firmly believe
tbe cause which gavo rise to the Inhuman and
cruel suggestions of crime was prompted
through vulgar feelings of spite and Jealousy
In his rising to such a high rank of
distinction In the British army, and,
while we have taken the most reli
able and trustworthy evidence from every
accessible and conceivable source, have
without hesitation come to the conclusion that
there Is not visible the slightest particle of
trui or foundalon of any crime, and we find
the late Sir Hector Macdonald had been cruelly
assassinated by vile and slandering tongues.
"While honorably acquitting the late Sir
Hector Macdonald ot any charge whatever, we
cannot- but deplore the sa4" circumstances of
the case that have fallen No disastrously on
one whom . we have found Innocent df iiy
crime attributed to him.
ANGUS MACDOKALD.
DR. MATTHEW WILSON".
DR. D. MACNAUGHTON'.
JAMES BRODIE.
GERALD HEATHCOTE.
ARTHUR LANG.
Dividing the Enemy.
Boston Post
At Saratoga, on the day his filly, Raglan,
won the $14,000 Splnaway stakes, Frederick
Gebhard told an amusing story of a rail
way tunnel.
"A friend of mine," he said, "the other
day sat reading comfortably in the parlor
car of a train when two women entered.
After that ho read In comfort no longer.
For It happened that he was dressed in
English clothes of a pronounced type, and
to these clothes the women, for some rea
son, took exception. They snickered In
my friend's face; they kept whispering to
ono another with giggles and sldewiso
glances at him; they kept saying, in tones
that he could hear:
" 'Did you ever see such a shirt?'
" "Pot hats fried egg hats you call
thoso things.'
" 'Don't the trousers fit funny?'
"My. friend is a mild man, but after ten
or 15 minutes of this adverse criticism his
blood began to boll. He asked himself
how he could get even with tho women.
While he was revolving various revenges
in his mind the train entered a long black
tunnel, and immediately a happy thought
came to him.
"Half way through the tunnel ho put
tho back of his hand to his mouth and
kissed it violently and noisily four or five
times. Tho women after that were silent
He watched them when the train come
out Into the light again, and it pleased
him to seo how strangely they looked at
ono another. Ho, for his part looked at
them In an equally strange way. For a
time he looked at them. Then he said
abruptly:
" 'Which one of you was it that kissed
mo in the tunnel? "
Pennypacker as Poet.
Translation from tho German by Governor
Pennypacker, of Pennsylvania,
Come, Corlnna, let roe kiss thee I
Come, my dearest, to mp here I
I would know why Joy should miss thee,
I would have thine answer clear.
Smiling sweetly said she, "No,"
Then demurely yielded so.
"Stay hore neac me, oh, my treasure,"
Cried I: "Run not oft eo farj
Let us try love's luring measure
While our Uvea the richest are."
Sighing deeply said she, "No,"
Then-demurely yielded so.
Raise thy head and let me kiss thro I
Not a man shall ever learn
How with longing I caress thee.
How my Hps to thine do turn.
Then she trembled and said, "No,'f
But dtmurely yielded so.
Often since whene'er I wander, i
"Whether far or near the way,
O'er the lesson do I ponder
Prom Corlnna learned that day.
?No" Is sometimes backwardness;
'"So iianmatlmea Tpr"n toy-1
"GOBBLING UP" TIMBER LANDS.
Chicago Record-Herald.
Tho Federal timber lands law provides
for the sale to pioneers - of Government
forest lands In quarter sections at $2.50 an
acre. In the 25 years that this laW has
been on tho statute books the total sales
of timber lands have omounted" to less
than 7.000.000 acres.. In the fiscal year
190a alone the sales were 1,765,61S acres, or
over a quarter of the total 25 years' sales.
These figures tell a startling story of
the rapidity with which some of the most
valuable portions of the public domain
are being "gobbled up." and they furnish
at the same time a most eloquent argu
ment for immediate amendment of the
timber land law. It the lands were pass
ing Into the hands of actual settlers, or
if the Government were being paid a rea
sonable price for them, all would be well,
but such is not the case. The lands, are
going to speculators for a song.
Commissioner Richards, of the General
Land Office, takes occasion In his forth
coming annual report to discuss the situa
tion and to lament his helplessness under
the existing laws. "There is no doubt,"
he is quoted as saying, "that the law is
being taken advantage of by speculators,
who are getting rich at the expense of
the Government and of the men fo
whose benefit the law was primarily
passed.'' x
He describes, how a carload of people
will leave Michigan for Oregon Shortly
thereafter the land office receives claims
for quarter sections In number exactly
corresponding to the number of passen
gers on the ear. Each claim is accom
panied by a 109 chck. Investigation
shows that none of fne claimants was
ever known In his home town to have $400
at any one time in his life. Nevertheless
the patents must be issued,'' for the law
only requires that the claimant must have
seen the land and possess tho price. Be
fore long all the claims are transferred
to some one syndicate or corporation.
One remedy that has been suggested is
to apply to tho timber claims the features
of the homestead law, which mako actual
residence a requirement But tho commu
tation clause of the homestead law Is It
self proving too liberal, and the whole
subject ot the Innd laws Is in great need
of investigation and practical reform.
TWO CLEVELAND TALES.
Philadelphia North American.
PITTSBURG That's a fresh guy in tho
second berth In tho third car," said a
newsboy to tho conductor of the Pennsyl
vania Limited this morning.
The lad had offered to sell a paper to
tho passenger, who had poked his head out
of tho window as tho train came to a
stop. '
The big man inquired: "What city Is
this, son?"
"This Is Pittsburg, Blr; havo a paper?"
said the boy, as ho shoved a paper under
tho man's nose.
"Why, this can't be Pittsburg," said tho
man. "Tho sun shines too brightly and
thero does not seem to be any sign of
smoke." And ho closed tho car window.
"Don't you know who you were talking
to?" queried the conductor.
"Nopo, and. I don't want to know him,"
replied the bby with a sneer.
"That's Grover Cleveland, onco Presi
dent of the United States," tho conductor
said. And the newsboy muttered, "Hully
geel"
Ask the Hunter.
New Tork Press.
The Cleveland boom press ,agency has
put this parable into circulation, attrib
uted to the former President, as an inci
dent of a recent shooting trip with a
friend:
Two ducks rose over our heads. One had a
white breast and the other a brown one. Thoy
were plainly marked. As I raised ray gun to
fire my friend eald: "Mr.-Cleveland, I named
one of the ducks Nomination.' "
I -fired and one duck fell.
Here Mr. Cleveland paused, as the shoot-.
ing story runs, and then
"Which duck came down?" was .th ques
tion several of his hearers asked breaSfTtessly.
Mr. Cleveland smiled. Ho did not answer.
This problem Is respectfully submitted
for correct solution to the Hon. William
Jennings Bryan, who recently bagged all
the, ducks in the Democratic flock of Ohio
and who is still afield in his hunting
boots.
The Wolf at the Door.
Dallas (Texas) News.
For about a month now the people In
the southeastern part of Dallas have betfn
troubled with a wolf. This animal, they
say, closely resembling a yellow shepherd
dog in appearance and size, has been
stealing their chickens, Infesting their
back yards to their annoyance and terror,
and crowning crime of all, has slain a
parrot, the pet of one of them.
His latest escapade Involved the destruc
tion of 14 fowls and tho taking up of his
unlawful occupancj- of the premises of an
outraged citizen of Cabell street This was
a night or'fio ago, and officers were at
the time called upon to slay the beast It
Is stated that no one claims him and that
he is an outcast
Some time ago the afflicted people de
cided to capture him in a fish net. The net
was laid, the wolf went in and then he
came out. The officers say It requires two
men to see the wolf one to say: "Here he
comes." the other to remark: "Thero he
goes."
Officers Ryan, Ledbetter and Rldflell
have all tried their "45s" upon the animal,
and It Is stated that ho must bear several
scars from bullets, as he left trails of
blood. But the chickens are still disap
pearing. It is said, and the animal Is still
seen by night.
Where the Strength Lies.
Philadelphia Inquirer.
An Anglo Indian woman, who has spent
yoars studying tho Mohammedan tdmpera
ment, tells a striking story on this head,
which Illustrates- tho Mohammedan spirit:
"I romember a dear, small boy, tho son
of our night watchman. His small soul
loved mangoes, and ono day, as ho fol
lowed me about tho garden, I offered him
one.
" 'No,' ho said, wistfully; T may not
tako it'
'But why?'
' " 'Does the Miss Sahib not know it is
my faBt Tho giant of darkness strives
to overcome the sun, and not even water
must pass ray Hps for bo many hours.'
VTho duty, in tho case of this young
ster, was self-imposed, for ho was only
6 years of age, and so not yot within tho
palo of orthodox Moslom rigidity,"
This story explains the fighting strength
of Mohammedlsm, the -absolute subordina
tion of Its devotees. Men trained as this
boy was training himself will kill for tho
faith just as readily as they will die for
tho faith, but there is nothing petty about
them. They can appreciate and tolerate
other faiths o long as tho adherents of
thoso faiths do not insult Mohammedanism,
The Friar of Orders Gray.
John O'Keefe,
I am a frlaF of orders gray,
And down In the valleys I take my way;
I pull not blackberry, haw nor hip
Good store of venison fills my scrip;
My long bead-roll I merrily chant;
"Where'er I walk no money I want;
And why I'm so plump the reason I tell
"Who leads a good life Is sure to live well.
"What baron or squire,
Or knight of the shire,
Lives half so well a3 a holy friar?
After supper of heaven I dream.
But that is a pullet and clouted cream t
Myself, by denial. I mortify
With a dainty bit ot a warden pie;
I'm clothed In sackcloth for my sin
With old sack wine I'm lined within;
A chirping- cup. Is my matin song.
And the vesper's bell is my bowl, ding-dong.
What baron or squire.
Or knight of the shlre
XJvca hall ta gall as a holy fflQlT
NOTE AND COMMENT. " "
Naymes..
The St Louis Globe-Democrat announces
that a marriage license has been. issued
to Cyble Magruder, of Cairo. I1I
Where are the names of an older day,
simple and sweet aa the new-mown hay?
Where are the names our fathers knew.
tiessie and Maggie and LIkzte and Sue?
None of the girls that we know today
Would spell their names In the old-fashioned
way.
Maud has an "e" pinned on to her. name.
And Mae thinks that May is a. dowdy daine.-
An "1" may perhaps be found In a palace
The farmer's daughter turns Alice to Alycei
The "y" has beslabbered with horrid trace
Edyth andMaybel and Judyth and Grayce.
The queen, however, of twisters atlll
Is Cyble Magruder of Cairo, HI.
Then oh, for the naymes of an older dae,
Cympyl and sweet as the month of Mae
Interruption of Continuity.
To utilize the sidewalks laid recently In
North Takima one must move much as though
following the pattern of a worm fence. The
ingenuity that has been exercised In preventing
any section of the sidewalk from meeting Its
neighbor la worthy of remark. Tacoma. Ledger
Solace.
The Tanks get -all the land In dispute, but
Canada gets nearly half a barrel of water,
Toronto Worlds
Dowlo talks liko a Tammany candidate
The sea Is sometimes cruelest when it
spares.
Traction on New York's subway-.la sub
tractionfrom tho population.
"Real estate Is moving, as tho--mine?,
said when tho cave-in occurred.
What Oregon wants is a Fort Clatsop
with all modern improvements.
Graco George, the actress, found thd
Dowio mob too strong a .press agent
The battleship Missouri has as much en-
duranco as a mulo from her patron state
BuBlness conditions in Walla Walla are
very bad Just as present for touts, and
grafters.
Anyway, most of tho talk about tha
currency 13 elastic, and somo of it is
stretched too far.
Birthdays will bo kinder bunched In tha
family of the Zonesvllle woman who gave
birth to four children at once.
The North Pacific Dental- College la to.
havo a football team. The boys should
make it go If. they all pull together.
Possibly Elijah ni has a black chefi
to be In harmony with the other Elijah,
whoso bread and flesh was brought by
ravens.
The Ann editor has applied for an In
junction forever restraining Postmaster
Bancroft from delivering any letters on
tho subject
A football player has died on the-field,
which merely shows that persons with
weak hearts should play checkers in pref
, erence to football.
Some people wouldn't mind even such a
name as the "Boy Orator" if, like Mr.
Bryan, they received large bequests on
the strength of it
Aberdeen's cheerful demeanor would
lead an Easterner .to . bellove that poaet s
peo'ple were quite accustomed to .having
.their cities burned down.
Tho Berlin snake-charmer that is Bald
to have been fatally crushed by a boa
constrictor may have, like other girls,
remarked: "Tou are squeezing mo to
death."
"There's ono consolation in this life,"
remarked John Hayduck to the editor of
tho Clackamas Chronicle, "if we hopo for
something and don't get it we've always
had the hope."
There is a "Jack tho Clipper" in New
Tork. He snips off braids of hair from
young girls. If caught his own hair ought
to bo snipped off so closo that his iead
would come with it
Tho Rev. B. H. Lingenfelter thinks -that
Seattle must bo saved, if at all, before
she has l.COO.000 residents. Don't bo un
easy, brother, you've got aa aeon or two
before that happens-
A recent medical ukase forbids us oa
pain of weak hearts, to get out of bed?
suddenly. It Is necessary to wake slow
ly, and by carefully graded degrees. Yet
Joo Chamberlain quite disregards this1 and1
tolls tho British nation to waka up all:
at once.
Three pupils of tho Ctentralla High,"
School having been seriously injured whilo
playing football, Superintendent Van Tina,
has ordered all scheduled gomes to bo
canceled. This seems a vory drastla ac
tion to take, when arrangements might
havo been made to turn tho school into;
an accident hospital and to train tho:
teachers as nurses. Wi&JC J.
OUT OF THE GINGER JAR.
"I thought Miss Pumplelgh figured on marry--.
tas Jack. "So she did, but another girl -with
more money outflgured her." Smart Set,
She Do you believe in love at first slshtt
Ho Ah, yes, my dear young lady. For after
a- second look wo would not love at au
Fllegende Blaetter,
The Man Didn't you promise to love, honor
and obey me? The Woman Didn't you prom
ise to endow me with all your worldly goods?.
Chicago Tribune.
"What are you grinning' about, John?"-"Tho.
landlord forgot to charge me for tho gallon or
sea water I swallowed while I was in bath
ing." Louisville Herald,
Sam Mose Jackson doan blebo dat rabbit's
foot brings luck eny mo, Remus-Why not?
Sam Bekase de Kernal's bulldog bit away do
berry pocket ho was carryin It in. Chicago
News.
Miss Noozie You. surely haven't decided to
marry Mr. Gotrox. He's old enough to be your
father. Miss S nappe I must beg you to re
member also that I am old enough to decide
to bo his wife. Philadelphia Press.
Jackson Trays My wife found a half-dozen
poker chips in my pocket this morning. Seven
Supp Whew! "What did she say? Jack6on
Trays Lectured me on my carelessness in not
having cashed them In. Catholic Standard and
Times,
Mr. Hayseed Thero ain't nothln' thet SI
Peters loves morn newspaper notoriety, Mrs.
Hayseed What's he bin a-doln . now? Mr.
Hayseed Palntln his barn agin, an' . thero
ain't no occasion fur it, 'ccpt tew git his narao
in the paper. Philadelphia Press.
"Mother," asked little Willie. Innocently,
"was all the wicked men drowned In tho
flood?" "Well," said his mother, "all except
one." And he Is still wondering why his
father went out and got drunk and came home
and tossed things at his mother boots, and
things like that. London Judy.
Stranger Are the waiters here attentive to
you? Pretty Cashier SIr-r-rl Stranger Oh, no
offense, I assure you. I was only carrying out
the Instructions as printed on the bill of fare,
which says: "Please report any Inattention of
waiters to cashier." And I thought If they
wero inattentive to you I would report hem ;
that's OIL BoUlmftra. msrlcaa, -