THE MOKNING OREGONIAN, MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 28, 1903.
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THE VICE-PRESIDENCY. $
Elsewhere on this page we give place
to a thoughtful and suggestive article
on the Vice-Presidency, from one of
the few successful high-class journals
of the Middle West, the Chicago Even
ing Post The Post addresses itself to
the familiar problem of the Vice-Presidency
its weakness in actual capabili
ties, coupled with the tremendous power
that comes to its incumbent upon his
accidental accession to the Presidency.
It is an old theme, and one that ever
and ahon has enlisted the thought of
our bestminds, but to no purpose. "We
go on electing Vice-Presidents for geo
.graphical and partisan considerations,
with little or no regard to their quali
fications for the highest place; and we
maintain the traditional status of the
office, so that it is unattractive to men
of the first rank.
The Post's suggestion is that the of
fice be made attractive by endowing it
with the properties of a Cabinet posi
tion, so far as counsel is concerned, if
not departmental duties. The main use
of a Cabinet officer, after all, is ad
visory. Trained assistants do the bulk
of the department routine; but what the
President needs is a body of sage coun
selors. It makes little difference
whether a man like Root is Secretary
-of State or Secretary of "War, for the
President leans upon him in foreign as
much as in military affairs, and also
in finance. The Cabinet councils cover
every branch of the Administration's
policy. It is fitting that into this body
of the Nation's executives the Vice
President should be admitted. His
chances of the succession, however re
mote and ignored, afford sufficient
basis for his recognition as a factor in
the Government, and for his induction
'into the counsels and considerations
upon which policies are framed.
Attractive as the proposal is, there
are reasons for doubt, nevertheless, as
to its acceptance in any considerable
degree. The Cabinet is chosen by the
President himself, with a view to Its
perfect support of his policies. The
Vice-President is not, but is usually
put upon the ticket with a view of in
suring the support of interests which
nave been ignored in the selection of
the head of the ticket Arthur, for ex
ample, represented the stalwarts, who
were opposed to Blaine and Garfield.
Stevenson was in many ways the an
tithesis of Cleveland, and Sewall could
ly no possibility ,be conceived as a
Cabinet adviser of Bryan. The Impos
sibility of Theodore Roosevelt as an
adviser of "William McKlnley is manl
iest to any one who reflects upon the
psychological transformation of the Ad
ministration from the suave to the
'strenuous mood.
"We have, in fact, in the Vice-Presidency
some such repository of inde
pendent power as modern municipal
methods secure in the election of con
trollers, treasurers, auditors, or record
ers by separate popular vote. Trie ac
cepted theory Is that it Is safest to in
troduce a certain balance or restraint
n the Federal organism, rather than to
gather every element of power In the
hands of the Chief Executive. Such an
independent repository is the Senate;
such another is the House; such an
other is the Vice-Presidency. Orig
inally, indeed, the Constitution distinct
ly contemplated a Vice-President of
different ideas from the President, in
asmuch as the man receiving the sec
ond highest number of votes lor Presi
dent in the electoral college became
Vice-President Thus Jefferson became
Vice-President to Adams, his opponent
lor the Presidency. This method was
abandoned, yet the Vice-Pxesident was
still vouchsafed a separate election. The
President has no power over him, and
the Senate has no choice, as the House
has, to select its presiding officer. It
must take the Vice-President
There can be little doubt that this
maintenance of the Vice-Presidency's
independence, though obscured by the
more familiar phenomena of its normal
helplessness, was deliberately estab
lished by the Fathers with an eye to
the possibility of entrenched and self
perpetuating tyranny. Modern legisla
tion has eliminated' every check upon
such perpetuation, except the Vice
Presidency itself; for if President Mc
Klnley, for example, on a tal&l sick
bed, desired to perpetuate his own re
gime, all he would have to do, in the
absence of a living Vice-PreslCent
would be to appoint Mr. Hanna Secre
tary of State. "When the President dies
at the beginning of his terra, thero is
no way to prevent the new Incumbent
with the co-operation of the Senate,
from Insuring the sucoelsion of his own
adherents, however distasteful they
might be to the people, by putting those
Cabinet offices which are in the line of
promotion into the. hands of his per
sonal and political associates. It is
easy to see how a man like Andrew
Jackson, in a great National crisis,
might divert the course of history into
channels disapproved by the people.
This is not a probable contingency, but
it is worth remembering when it is pro
posed to bring the Vice-Presidency into
closer touch with the Executive.
This consideration, and others that
might be mentioned, are obstacles in
the way of any radical or sudden trans
formation in the Vice-Presidential of
fice; but they do not militate against
the Post's suggestion that the Vice
Presidency should be made in every
possible way attractive to men of real
vigor and power. "We should say that
the advantages of the plan, in making
the Vice-President's resources avail
able at the Cabinet tabfe and in pre
paring him for the work he may any
time be called upon to perform, would
outweigh any dangers of factional
high-handedness for the brief space of
four years, or until public sentiment
should find means of reversing an un
popular policy. That is, the difficulties
in the way are not those of theory,
but of application; for the President is
reasonably certain to rely more upon
the advice of men he has himself chosen
to support him than on the man who was
Imposed upon him by the exigencies of
his party in its nominating convention.
Should the time ever come when a fac
tion In either party gained such su
preme power as to choose the Vice
President as a personal adherent of
the nominee for President, as close to
him as a Cabinet officer, the inevitable
reaction of malcontents would soon
sweep that faction out of power in that
party or else put every department of
the Government in the hands of the op
position. Theodore Roosevelt is going
to be elected President in 1904 because
he ha3 recognized the elements which
for five years had felt ill at ease in the
White House. If he had. merely ad
hered to the McKlnley policies and per
petuated the Hanna regime, nothing
could prevent a Democratic victory in
next year's election.
SWAMP TO BLOSSOM AS THE ROSE.
In Klamath County, ditches are under
construction to carry water upon arid
land to make it productive and dikes
are to be built in swamps to keep out
the water, so that grass may take the
place of the rank growth of tules. Na
ture, indeed, went to extremes in
Klamath County. There is this to be
thankful for, however that when wa
ter is put upon the arid land in that
section or water drained off the swamps
there is no place where more profitable
crops can be' grown than upon these
formerly waste places. On the Irrigated
land enormous crops of alfalfa can be
grown. On the drained land cattle can
be pastured until late in the Spring, a
croy of hay harvested, and then the cat
tle turned back upon the land for the
remainder of the year. The most recent
enterprise looking to the advancement
of these latent resources has been inau
guratd by the purchase of 11,000 acres
of swamp land near Upper Klamath
Lake, from the State of Oregon, at the
nominal sum of $1 per acre. The pur
chasers of this land propose to con
struct a floating steam dredge and
build dikes that will keep the water
within definite channels, so that the
swamp can be reclaimed and the tules
displaced by grass. The cost of this
undertaking is roughly estimated at
$50,000. This tract purchased from the
state is only a small part of all the
swamp land in that vicinity, and if this
project meets with success other pro
prietors will conduct similar work until
100,000 acres of land will be made pro
ductive of good pasturage.
This land has been lying idle for cen
turies. The state has had it for sale
for a number of years at the JJrlce paid
for it, and no buyers appeared. A num
ber of Klamath County people, sup
posed to be backed financially by Mrs.
Jessie Carr Seale, have bought the land
and will attempt the reclamation. If
they succeed they will make a good
profit on their investment; If they fail,
their investment will be lost In the
willingness of these people to put their
money into an experiment of doubtful
succe'ss, the people of Klamath County
see a prospect for a great stride for
ward in the development of that section
of the state.
The state law limits the sale of
swamp land to 320 acres to each per
son, and the sale of this 11,000-acre
tract was made In small lots, not ex
ceeding the legal limit It is, neverthe
less, apparent that the greater part of
the land is owned or controlled by per
sons who have associated themselves
together for this enterprise. This must
be so, for no one could undertake a
great reclamation enterprise if he
owned only half the land that would be
benefited by his work. In other words,
a few capitalists could not be expected
to carry on the reclamation work if
other owners of land so situated that it
must be. drained at the same time
should sit back with closed pocket
books and await the result of the more
progressive investors. For that reason,
the people who went into this enterprise
worked quietly and bought up practi
cally all the land before the general
public became aware of the plan. Had
their intentions been -known, there
would have been a rush for the swamp
land, and so much of it would have
passed Into other hands that the rec
lamation work would probably not be
undertaken at all.
In this case it cannot be said that
any one has been given an advantage in
the purchase of the land, for the tract
has been subject to sale for many years
at the small price of $1 an acre. It has
not been considered to be worth that
amount, and will not be unless private
enterprise reclaims it If the Investors
make a snug sum on their venture, no
one can complain.
NEW THEORY OF TRANSMIGRATION
Are the bodies of animals Inhabited
by the souls of human villains dead
and gone? Don't sneer too hastily at
the question, for if it should be an
swered finally in the negative science
is at a loss to account for the utter de
pravity of the animals. It Is apparent
to the dullest observer that dumb
beasts exercise a malign Influence over
man. Think of the tempers ruined by
cows that have kicked over half-Ailed
pails of milk. Think of the reputations
for truth that have been destroyed by
trout Think of the honesty that has
been turned into deceit by the horse,
so that they who trade in that animal
are by-words among their less sorely
tempted brethren. Think of the indefi
nite prolongation of this list that might
be made, and then consider If animals,
are or are not animated! by the souls
of human wretches that have passed
away.
Some such theory must be accepted,
and it is not open to doubt that rea
sonable people will accept this: The
souls of the wicked are condemned
to pass into animals, and to stay there
until they have discovered prospective
tenants worse than themselves.
This theory explains everything. Th
liars Inhabit fish, the tricksters horses
and those given to butting in become
goats. In the attempt to end their
tenancy by finding suitable successors,
the evil spirits resort to temptation,
with, alas! unfailing success.. The half
pound trout dropping off the hook flaps
his tail in ecstatic certainty that the
angler will proclaim him a five-pounder
at least And the look of human an
ticipation on the face of a goat about to
knock some unsuspecting person Into a
barbed-wire fence can - only proceed
from the knowledge that the resultant
explosion will lower another soul into
the mire as a stepping-stone for him
self. The theory is irrefutable, and its gen
eral acceptance would help the world to
a higher plane. If the angler knew
that exaggeration leads to a life where
in the only drink is water, and the
milker knew that to use a Riece of
scantling on bossy is a passport to
life in a barn, they would hesitate.
Professor Rlgler's anger cure would be
unneeded, and the world would be a
place of smiles.
On second thought, however, the re
sult might be too tough for those al
ready imprisoned.
THE RESPONSIVE SHOW GIRL.
For years the solid, wave of American
progress has had as sparkling crest
the American show girl, envied e"mblem
of National prosperity. When first our
growing prestige was recognized by
Europe, the stage was dominated by the
girl in tights, for we have advanced by
very slow stages from the days when
dancers had little but the blushing air
to hamper their movements. Even on
our first appearance before the world's
footlights, tho older nations, arrayed
in the bald-headed row, effete connois
seurs In female beauty, were compelled
to admit that in the matter of legs the
American ballet was as far ahead as
the people were in the matter of brains.
It may be mentioned, while this deli
cate and distracting subject is passed in
review, that certain consignments of
stockings sent from our mills to the
British Isles proved too small in the
foot and too big in the higher up to fit
thlr destined purchasers. But the day,
or rather the evening, of the tights
passed, and the American show girl
became the glittering creature that we
know today. The country had pro
gressed, and Americans demanded more
than avoirdupois, however artistically
molded. The show girl, to use a phrase
that smacks of commercialism, was
there with the goods. She wore skirts
as if she had been born In them, and,
Indeed, one season fashion made them
so clinging that there seemed no other
way In which the wearers could have
got Inside them. She was gay, ani
mated and gorgeous gorgeous enough
to satisfy the most smooth-faced col
lege student or the wealthiest miner
from Pink Dog Gulch. She glittered on
the crest of the wave, and the man
agers of European theaters envied
their American competitors her style
and her intelligence. Their girls had
good looks, perhaps, but as for style
pooh! their clothes simply hung on
them, and as for intelligence why, they
were mere automatons.
Andnow comes a breath that hints
the great American show girl is too
glittering, too bespangled and betin
seled; in a word, too stagey. Grati
fying sign of culture. Convincing proof
that the wave of artistic progress still
rolls on. The show girl of tomorrow Is
to be a drawing-room girl, a living ex
emplar of the demurer graces. Of
course, the American girl will rise equal
to the situation, and we may expect to
see the spinsters who conduct boarding
schools taking their charges to the the
ater, that they may see and emulate
the polished propriety of their sisters of
the stage.
THE BOURGEONING LANGUAGE.
When a college professor gets out of
bed on the wrong side, or eats something
that disagrees with him, it is ten
chances to one that he writes a magazine
article condemning the anarchy into
which the English language has fallen.
The vernacular Is his punching bag",
and upon it he works off his Irritation.
Professor Lounsbury, of Yale, is the
latest to "view with alarm" the state
of modern English pronunciation. We
have no standard, he says, and the pre
cious tongue is going from bad to
worse. He shows the apparently hap
hazard manner In which the same sound
is represented by seven or so different
letters or different combinations of let
ters, and concludes that It is vain to
hope for a uniform standard of pronun
ciation, which all will recognize and con-
forni with at once. Professor Louns
bury should fake heart The language
is today in the same position as it was
In when the Authorized Version was
made, and the English speech crystal
Ized. The standard of pronunciation
has always been usage not the usage
of the entire people, but the usage of
what may be called the cultured class.
The same thing is true today, and
American pronunciation Is ultimately
decided by the usage of the cultured,
although to a less extent than in Eng
land. Here the dictionary has more au
thority, and this tends to greater sta
bility in pronunciation, since the dic
tionary style, which is founded upon
usage, must of necessity change at in
frequent Intervals.
In any event, proposals to reduce the
language to a phonetic basis are essen
tially chimerical. It is too old, and has
driven its roots too deep, to bear sub
jection to more than trifling changes.
And, further, who but an insensate and
fad-possessed Iconoclast would to
change the metaphor level the lan
guage Into a dreary waste of "fonetic
speling" even If he could? Words have
their histories, and their letters are the
monuments. Sovran might be simpler
than sovereign, and would be -really
more correct, but we cannot see the
now accepted form without thinking of
the wiseacres who changed the original
word because of Us fancied analogy
wun reign.
As to the chances that cro nn flniiv
Professor Lounsbury Is, of course, right
in attributing many to Ignorance, al
though laziness Is the chief factor in
changing pronunciations. The aston
ishing Cholomondeley, Mariorlbanks.
Gloucester and so forth will readily be
recalled as proof. Ignorance mistakes
everything, and many errors in pro
nunciation creep Into the UDDer ranks
where final usage changes them from
errors Into eccentricities of the most ec
centric tongue in the world. In parts of
rural England the. laborers would not
recognize asparagus, but sparrow grass
would be quite intelligible. This desire
to make an unknown word Into a
familiar leads to curious results, but
few of the errors become part of the
language. Another manifestation of Ig
norance Is the sounding of letters that
should be silent Professor Lounsbury
cites the word currant, In which the final
t was silent until the nineteenth century.
He might have mentioned the common
word often, in which ignorant people
sound the t, although the mistake has
not yet been, so to speak, legalized.
Some people actually attempt to sound
the b at the end of dumb and lamb.
The word tackle affords another pecu
liar Instance. At sea the Influence of
the forecastle has made -It universally
pronounced as If the a were short tay
kel ario the result Is that many sailors
use one pronunciation on board ship
and another on shore.
The language is at once too old and
too vigorous for change. New words
are added almost dally, some fabricated
for particular purposes and others
taken from foreigners. Kopje would be
a poor thing without the J, and blno
would not look half so intoxicating if
spelt like the Bqston berry. We are as
well off as ever wewere, and the adop
tion of the standard so desired by Pro
fessor Lounsbury will mark the grand
climacteric of the English tongue.
A correspondent of a Valley paper,
claiming to be a farmer and signing a
fictitious name, discusses farmers' pools
and concludes by saying:
The farmer Is so hedged about by the com
petitive system that he has no choice but to
imitate the example of those in other callings
about him, and combine, though he clearly
realizes that some part o society wilj suffer
thereby. .
This assumption that some part of so
ciety will sillier by farmers combines
is pure imagination By forming pools
the farmers compel dealers to pay all
the commodity Is worth. The buyersN
will not pay more than the article' is
worth, and if the price demanded is too
high the intending buyers will go with
out or wait till the' price is reduced. In
all the Valley pools the .plan has been
to sell to the highest bidder, except
that the hopgrowers have held for too
high a price, sometimes and did not
make sales at the proper time. Where
produce is pooled and sold to the high
est bidder, no one will suffer unless he
bids too high, and, if he does this, he
has no one to blame but himself. Wher
ever farmers can see an opportunity to
secure better prices by forming a pool
they should do so, but, as In all other
business transactions, they should exer
cise careful judgment The possibility
of a farmer, getting too high a price for
his produce is too remote to furnish
grounds for worrying just at present
Oregon land office officials have a
brief respite from the accusations of
fraud, Inattention to duty and general
Inefficiency that emanate almost dally
from department headquarters at
Washington. John O'Brien Scobey, Re
ceiver of the land office at Olympla, is
now under Are of official criticism.
What the Interior Department wants
to know is why this servant of the
Government was away from his post
of duty recently for a whole month
without leave. He will perhaps urge in
vain the demands upon his time made
by his fruit-Jam factory in the busy
season. Whoever heard of a land office
official who kept steadily at his desk
and allowed his private business to suf
fer from lack of his personal super
vision? Has it, then, come to this, that
the Department of the Interior is an
absolute monarchy, and that Hitchcock
is Its Czar? Not if the Oregon and
Washington Congressional delegations
can help It Be sure of that.
School days have begun again, and
it will now be In order for students
to write compositions on "How I
Spent My Vacation." How many of
these "essays" will tell of woodsheds
filled with Winter's fuel, gardens hoed
and vegetables gathered, sewing and
mending done for mamma, or the sea
son's supply of fruit put up for family
use this Winter? Have the muscles
that were kept strong by vigorous ex
ercise in the gymnasium, in the basket
ball court, on the gridiron and dia
mondhave these strong sinews been
working during the past Summer to
help pay the expenses of the new school
year? Haft the stalwart young man
who cried Wast Winter because he was
carried off the football grounds been
crying this Summer because his mother
had to carry in the wood? Have the
champion basket-ball girls won the ap
plause of the family circle by proving
their efficiency with the washboard and
mop?
Men can get along without women,
but women; it seems, cannot get along
without men.. The Martha Washington
Hotel, in New York, run for women
only. by women only, had to summon
the friendly and efficient male. The
girl bellboys, or bellgirls, sassed the
customers, and had to be replaced with
boys, and the head waitress couldn't
control her staff, so a man took her
place. Now the hotel is run by men
only for women only. The same thing
is true of papers. All those for women
only are run by men. Thousands of
Americans would be drinking from finger-bowls
and tucking napkins under
their chins at table were it ,not for
"E. Bok," of the "Curtiss Pub. Co.,
Phila., Pa."
It has long been supposed that there
could be nothing new developed In con
junction with the wrangling of church
choirs. This, however, appears to have
been a mistaken estimate. Here, for
example, is a first-class ' row in the
choir loft of St. David's Church, in
this city, "in which men only are en
gaged. Thus, one by one, perish our
cherished traditions.
Very opportunely, a Consular report
on Beirut as a center for American
trade has been issued. Iron pipes and
sewing machines are mentioned as find
ing ready sale, but there is no reference
made to the market that should exist
for inexpensive French guillotines or
AmeHcan gallows.
Literary persons In Chicago, and the
town is full of them, are disappointed
in the results of tne centennial celebra
tion. Tliey had expected it to make the
city produce more strings qt verses
than strings of sausages, but the packing-houses
are still ahead.
The Independent takes occasion to
write of the "Exit of Anti-Imperialism."
It is quite superfluous to do this,
for the use of the prefix "antl" Is to
confess an Inherent and fatal weakness
in any movement.
THE VICE-PRESIDENCY.
Chicago Evening Post
The time has come to make a radical
ohange in the position occupied by the
Vice-President of the United States. The
constitution simply provides that the Vice
President shall preside over the Senate
ahd succeed to the Presidency In certain
contingencies. There it stops. As our
system has developed, the Vice-President
has nothing to do with the administration;
he is not a force or factor in the Gov
ernment Tho law deprives him of voice
or vote (wlfh a single exception) on the
floor of the Senate; custom and practice
shut him out from participation in the
work of the executive department He
may be ornamental; he is not useful,'
event as a "silent partner" In the Gov
ernment
Is this a reasonable, sound, safe plan?
The Vice-President Is liable any day to
do called upon, because of the death of
the President to assume the position of
chief executive, but though ho may have
served for one, two or three years, under
our present system he would not be in
touch with, nor in the possession of any
special and Intimate knowledge of, the
guiding Ideas or purposes of the admin
istration. He would be wholly unpre
pared for his duties as President and
the country at largo -would be in a state
of unrest not knowing whether the new
Incumbent in the executive mansion would
carry on the Government on tho lines
followed by his predecessor or make
radical changes. In several Instances this
condition in the past has caused business
depression and apprehension.
It will be denied by no thoughtful
American that we have been rather care
less In the selection of candidates for the
Vice-President It will be admitted that
no man ought to be nominated for that
office who Is not fit to stop into and prop
erly perform the duties of the higher po
sition. Starting, then, with the basic prin
ciple that the Vice-President should be
capable of filling the office of President,
and recognizing that he must be "in
harmony wirn the administration, does it
not follow that he ought to be a part of
the administration? It Is time this logical
conclusion were drawn.
It is a conclusion which Involves an
important change In our practice. The
Vice-President ought to be a member ex
officio of the President's Cabinet He ought
to attend the meetings of. the Cabinet
with reasonable regularity, and especial
ly when any vital matter of policy Is
under discussion, and his voice, advice
and judgment should be just as potent
at least, as that of any member of the
Cabinet Being relieved from any detail
of department work, he would have ample
leisure and time to study carefully all
questions of National interest, and could,
therefore, come to the Cabinet meetings
with ample knowledge and Information.
In this way the Vice-President would be
come thoroughly informed on pending
and anticipated questions, and ready to
discuss them before the people. The Pres
ident would have In him an exponent and
defender of the policies of the Govern
ment it being taken for granted that the
Vice-President would be In accord with
the President and his administration.
This change, it is clear, would give new
vitality and strength not only to the Vice
Presidency but to the whole administra
tion. It would prevent the position of
Vice-President from falling into the hands
of small and incompetent politicians. It
would render impossible the nomination
of a Vice-President who was not thor
oughly In harmony with the known views
of the head of the ticket That it would
give dignity and importance to an office
now regarded as superfluous is evident.
Leaders and statesmen would regard ele
vation to the Vice-Presidency as a real
honor, and would see in the position
great possibilities of usefulness and dis
tinction, quite apart from the always
melancholy contingency which transfers'
the Vice-President to the White House.
The suggestions here made are worthy
of the consideration of our public men.
The change Indicated is eminently de
sirable, if not absolutely necessary-' We
repeat, the time has come to restudy the
question of the place' and function of the
Vice-President
The Printers' Oath.
To the Editor of the Chicago Chronicle.
WASHINGTON, Sept 19 You have al
ready published a part of the members'
obligation of the International Typograph
ical Union. As the interpretations of out
siders differs widely from those of sundry
officials of that body, I send you the entire
document, copying it from the constltu
tlon printed for January, 1903, on the Hoi
Ienbeck press at Indianapolis and In gen
eral use by union men. Following the oath
I send you a copy of that part of article
1, section 1, known as the "obedience"
clause. WILLIAM BIRNEY.
ARTICLE XII OBLIGATION.
Section 1. All subordinate unions shall have
an article in their constitution, which shall
read as follows: t
Every person admitted as a member of this
union shall subscribe to this obligation:
I (give name) hereby solemnly and sincerely
swear (or afllrro)
That I will not reveal any business or pro
ceedings of any meeting1 of this or any sub
ordinate union to which I may hereafter be
attached, unless by order of the union, except
to those whom I know to be members in good
standing thereof.
That I will, without equivocation or evasion,
and to the best of my ability, abide by the
constitution, by-laws and the adopted scale of
prices of any union to which I may belong.
That I will at all times support the liws,
regulations and decisions of the International
Typographical Union, and will carefully avoid
giving aid or succor to Us enemies and use all
honorable means within my power to procure
employment for members of the Typographical
Union in preference to others.
That my fidelity to the union and my duty to
the members thereof shall in no sense be inter'
fercd with by any allegiance that I may now
or hereafter owe to any other organization, so
cial, political or religious, secret or otherwise.
That I will belong to no society or combina
tion composed wholly or partly ot printers
with the intent or purpose to Interfere with
the trade regulations or influence or control
the legislation of this union.
That I will not wrong1 a member or see him
or her wronged, If in my power to prevent.
To all of which I pledge my most sacred
honor.
CONSTITUTION'.
ARICLE I JURISDICTION.
Section 1. This body shall be known as the
Internatlon Typographical Union of North
America. Its jurisdiction shall include all
branches of the printing and kindred trades
. . . and Its mandates must be obeyed at all
times and under all circumstances.
Same Here.
St Louis Globe-Democrat.
A crowded condition at the hotels of St,
Louis calls attention again to the problem
of accommodating the coming throngs. It
is presumed that the committees 1n charge
of this subject have It thoroughly In hand
and will not, In any case, be caught unpre
pared. A host of people will want quar
ters at short notice. They must be well
cared for at reasonable rates or the Im
pression will be adverse to the city and a
future detriment It is Important to sat
isfy the crowds and have them go away
friends and admirers. As far as St Louis
itself is concerned, this matter Is of more
moment than anything else remaining to
be provided ror. Tne rair, it Is certain,
will be tne greatest ever held. Let Its In
I cldental arrangements also be the best, so
thnt Rr T-nills nhnll alwavs hnvn o nlonn.
ant place In the recollection of visitors.
What the Winds Brln,
Edmund Clarence Stedman. ,
Which Is the wind that brings the cold?
Tho north -wind, Freddie; and all the enow;
And the sheep will scamper into the fold
When the north begins to blow.
Which is the -wind that brings the heat?
Tho south winds, Katy; and corn will grow,
And peaches redden for you to eat.
When the south begins to blow.
Which Is the wind that brings the rain?
The east wind, Arty; and farmers know
That cows como shivering up the lane
When the east begins to blow.
Which is the wind that brings he flowers?
The west wind, Bessy; and soft and low
The birdies sing in the Summer hours
When the west begins to blow.
CONGRESS SHOULD AID. ;
Editorial In Seattle Post-Intelligencer,
September 25.
The directors of the Lewis and Clark i
Centennial Exposition,- to bo held in Port
land In tho Summer of 1903, have decided
to ask of Congress an appropriation of
$2,125,000, and a bill appropriating this
amount will be introduced Into Congress
by the Oregon delegation at the coming
session.
According to alf precedents ot the past,
this Exposition Is entitled to , this appro
priation. Congress liberally aided the
Centennial Exposition at Philadelphia, the
Columbia Exposition at Chicago, the Buf
falo and the Charleston Expositions, as
well as other expositions held at different
parts of the country. It has made very
handsome appropriations for the coming
exposition at St Louis, held to commem
orate the anniversary of tha Louisiana
purchase.
The Lewis and Clark Exposition, in its
objects, its purposes and In ,the event
which it commemorates, as a National
project, in precisely the same sense as
previous expositions, and is entitled to
Government old in precisely the propor
tion that similar expositions have been
aided. It is but common fairness to the
states of tho North Pacific to treat them
with the same liberality as has been ac
corded other states, under similar cir
cumstances. Therefore it is to be sincerely hoped
that the Washington delegation In Con
gress will extend precisely the same ef
fort toward securing this appropriation for
the benefit of the Lewis and Clark Ex
position as they would If the exposition
were designed to be held in a city of the
present Btate of Washington. It is as
much a local anniversary of Washington
as of Oregon which is to be commemor
ated. It is merely an incident that the
Exposition is to be held In the older city
of Portland, rather than In one of tho
newer cities which have been built in the
territory originally visited and explored
by Lewis and Clark. Had Seattle or
Tacoma taken the initiative in the move
ment to commemorate the Lewis and
Clark anniversary, we would have felt
entitled to the active assistance of Ore
gon toward making it a success. Oregon,
under the circumstances, is entitled to our
active aid, and In no more profitable way
could It be shown than by on earnest
effort to secure the needed appropriations
from the National Government
"Tkree Years and Under."
Philadelphia Press.
"If you ever wish to learn exactly how
big a 3-year-old boy can be just apply for
a position as conductor on one of the
street-car lines of this city," remarked
the man In charge of collecting fares on
a local railroad line the other day.
The conductor stood silently ylewing the
occupants of the car for as much as a
whole minute before he ventured another
remark. Then he nodded his head
toward two children lnsido of) the closed
car. 1t
"You see those cherubs there?" he
asked. "Well, how old do you think they
are?"
The passenger suggested that one of
them might be 5 and the other 7 years of
age.
"Well, you are mistaken," retorted the
conductor. "They are well-grown children.
of course, but they are young. Neither of
them has reached the tender age of 3
yeara yet. You see, their mother knows
their ages. That Is the lady with them
She says they are not yet 3."
Then a woman with a buxom boy of the
size usually seen in the second or third
grade of school entered.
"How old do you think that boy is?"
whispered the conductor.
When 5 wa3 guessed he offered to wager
that the lad was not yet 3, and to prove
It by the mother of the young man when
he collected the fare, but the passenger
had become wary of betting a man on his
own proposition and kept off. It turned
out that the boy was "not quite 3 years
of age."'
"Three years Is to children just what 16
Is to the sweet girl a little later In life,"
continued the conductor. "It Is an age to
cling to. Three years is the age at which
children ' must have their fares paid,
while below that they ride free. I now and
then point out to visitors to this city
some of the 3-year-olds with whom I am
acquainted just as an advertisement,
showing what a place this is to grow chil
dren. In the course of time the town will
get a reputation as the best location for a
children's sanitarium In tho .world."
An Excuse lor "Hiawatha."
New York Times.
It was at the reception given by tho
Metropolitan Life Insurance Company to
the delegates of the polyglot Internation
al Congress of Actuaries.
One after another the band had played
the National airs of most of the coun
tries under the sun, and each time every
body had risen.
There had been "The Star Spangled
Banner" and "God Save tho King." The
Frenchmen had thrilled to the "Mar
seillaise," and the German had trilled out
"Die Wacht am Rhein." Scotland had had
"Coming Thro' i the Bye," Ireland "The
Wearing of the Green," "Dixie" ripping
out of the strings had started the usual
yell. Then the band swung into "Hia
watha." One lone man rose.
"That," sold Secretary Cortelyou, who
was present and had been standing and
singing faithfully, "that must be tho In
dian National air."
A Cunning? Device.
New York Mall and Express.
The third act has nothing at all to do
with tho play ("Mrs. Deerlng's Divorce").
Mrs. Langtry tries on new gowns, which
device enables her to display many more
clothes than most actresses ever can con
trive to. She has said In an interview,
with charming demureness, that sho found
it very embarrassing to rehearse the un
dressing scene. She seemed to enjoy it
last night It must have disappointed those
who expected to be shocked, for Mrs.
Langtry's arms and. shoulders have, In 20
years, become pretty well known; and sho
disclosed no more. The gowns, of course,
were beautiful; so why deplore?
Alton Water.
Robert Burns.
Flow gently, sweet Afton, among thy 'green
braes;
Flow gently, I'll sing thee a song In thy praise;
My Mary's asleep by thy murmuring stream.
Flow, gently, sweet Afton, disturb not her
dream.
Thou stockdove whose echo resounds through
tho glen.
Ye wild whistling blackbirds In yon thorny den.
Thou green-crested lapwing, thy screaming
forbear;
I charge you disturb not my slumbering fair.
How lofty, sweet Afton, thy neighboring hills.
Far marked with the courses of clear-winding
rills!
Thero daily I wandered as noon rises high,
My flocks and my Mary's sweet cot in my eye.
How pleasant thy banks and green valleys
m below.
Where wild In the woodlands the primroses
blowl
There oft as mild evening -weeps over the lea.
The sweet-scented blrk shades my Mary and
me.
Thy crystal stream, Afton, how lovely It glides
And winds by the cot where my Mary resides;
How wanton thy waters her snowy feet lave.
As, gathering sweet flowerlets, she stems thy
clear wave!
Flow gently, sweet Afton, among thy green
braes;
Flow gently, sweet river, the theme of my lays;
My Mary's asleep by thy murmuring- stream, .
Flow gently, sweet Afton, disturb not her
dream.
NOTE AND' COMMENT.
Forger Burke forgot that saying about
eternal vigilance.
The car-wheel trust should run smoothly
If It keeps to the right track.
Wolves rend one another, and anarchists
would assassinate the Sultan.
In open court Is the queer place they
spank girls at Bayonne, N. J.
Mr. Balfour evidently suspects that
there is some friction in Macedonia.
Nobody minds a fire at Indianapolis, so
long us none of the literary shops are
burned.
Chicago, being 100 years old, is anxious
to see if Babylon really has any the best
of her.
The .Consolidated Lake Superior Com
pany seems to have been a consolidation
of fools.
Russell Sag has lou 51,000,000, and 150
farmers have kept their homes. Grasping
farmers!
The harassed baseball reporter now
furbishes up his stock of words for the
football season.
Colonel Blake Is ready to fight any one,
and would sooner crack a Clan-na-Gael
head than none.
When Chicago comes to celebrate her
200th anniversary she will have sobered
out of the red,-fire idea.
The "Marked-for-LIfe" company that ara
held as witnesses in Cincinnati are at
least sure of their grub.
Virtue Is doubtless Its own reward to
those who obey the game law, but It
doesn't help the bag much.
The British Commission In this country
to study street-car traffic will doubtless be
impressed by the end-seat hog.
It is appropriately announced that the
I. O. O. F., after a spirited debate, kept
the bar up for liquor dealers.
An electric car in Berlin has gone 117
miles an hour. If it Improves on this, peo-
pie will be there before they start.
When a Coney Island lion escapes the
only fear in the mind of its owner is that
somo one in tho crowd may injure It.
If the story of his female companion is
true, Edwards should receive a sentence
at would make him glad to try his "slide
for life" in dead earnest.
Receiver Scobey, of the Olympla Land
Office, Is said to devote too much time
to his jam factory. Why shouldn't he,
when one jam factory adds more to tho
Joy of life than a dozen land offices.
Now that a man has developed a case
of appendicitis from eating hairs, the
female novelist will have to make her
hero show his emotion In some other
way than by "fiercely gnawing his mus
tache." The Rev. Mr. Hamley, of Cheney,
couldn't commit. suicide because he had
"traded his gun for a bathtub." This is
another Instance of the terrible malignlty
of a bathtub. It kills those that should
not be killed, and makes those live that
want to die.
The gross stupidity of those who con
sider American civilization in advance of
Chinese was never better shown up than
by the news that the Empress has estab
lished a Board of Commerce. The im
portance of the news, of course, does not
He in the creation of such a service, but
In the purpose of its creation, namely, jto
provide fat Jobs for the political favorites.
The greatest good done by missionaries,
according to F. A. G., in the Kobe Chron
icle, is their discovery of all the health
resorts in Japan. Some of the Catholic
priests, it appears, are unintelligent
enough to remain at the same post Winter
and Summer. Consequently their lack of
practical help to the country has been
noted with disfavor by many observers,
and F. A. G. considers it to have been tho
cause for the expulsion of the Jesuits.
The plan of John E. Humphries in an
nouncing his candidacy for Governor by
means of stereopticon pictures is a distinct
tribute to modern advertising methods, and
cannot fail to prove of great aid to tho
perpetual aspirant for office. When a
man has had his mind filled with lofty
emotions by the picture of St. Peter's, he
will be ready to view with appreciation a
representation of the great capitol at
Olympla, and after a picture of the lean
and lanky Lip ton he will turn with pleas
ure to the jovial rotundity of John E.
PLEASANTRIES OF PARAGRAPHERS
Consoling. He Darling, I have lost mw po
sition. She Never mind, dear. Think of how
small your salary was. Town and Country.
Moldy Mike Dis yer paper says the secret
of aristocratic appearance is the repose of
manner. Wearie William Dafs me. New
York Weekly.
The Deacon Do you know where little boys
go who play baseball on Sunday? Tommy
Sure. If dey Is all right, dey goes ter college.
Denver Republican.
"Don't yez open yez mout', Flanagan, or
Ol'll bate her head aft, an' if yez sayln' nlver a
wur"rd it's a uppercut In th Jaw Ol'll let yez
hov." Philadelphia Ledger.
Mrs. Goodun Always be kind to anlmal3,
little boy. Now, I have a pet toad, and I feed
files to him every day. Boy Well, dafs not
so awful kind to de flies. Chicago Dally News.
"Pa," said little Willie Giggles, "Is a 'fam
ily Jar ono o' them kind that's used for pre
serving?" "Perhaps, my son," replied Mr.
Giggles, "but not for preserving tho peace."
Philadelphia Press.
"I see smallpox broke out at one of the sub
urban Jails recently. That's rather funny, isn't
it?" "Yes; but it would have been still fun
nier If the guards-had managed to catch It."
Philadelphia Ledger.
"I could never understand." said the old
fogy, "what Is the great attraction In auto
moblltng." "Perhaps," replied the beginner
with the bandaged head, "it's the attraction of
gravitation." Philadelphia Press.
"Mamma." asked small Floramay. "what Is
single blessedness'?" "Single blessedness, my
dear," replied the knowing mother, "Is a
bouquet that a bachelor throws at himself
when he wants to mary and can't." Philadel
phia Inquirer.
"Grace Is greatly worried. She can't decide
where to go on her bridal tour." "When Is she
to be married?" "The date hasn't been fixed
yet." "Whom Is she going to wed?" "That's
another detail that Is yet to be arranged. But
the has her trousseau all planned." Kansas
City Journal.
. The man who had made a million rather sud
denly wa3 not altogether happy. "It seems to
me." he mused, uneasily, "when a man gets
rich quick there should be some kind of ianl
tarlum where he could go until he acquired
the tasto ot olives and learned how to pro
nounce chauffeur correctly." Chicago Dally
News.
A certain cornchandler of London had just
engaged an assistant who hailed from a little
village near Leeds. This youth was remark
ably "green," and apparently It had been Im
pressed upon him by his friends in the village
that the sharp London people would try and
take rises out o him. A customer entered the
shop and when the youth appeared, said: I
want some bird seed, please." "It's noa use,
lad. tha kno's." answered the verdant ona
knowingly; "tha cannot hev me. Birds groas
frwia effgs,-not ceedl" Chicago .Bscord-Herald,