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About Morning Oregonian. (Portland, Or.) 1861-1937 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 23, 1903)
THE . MORNING OEEGONIAN, - WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 3, ,1903. he r00ntcm Xntered at the Postofflc at Portland. Oregon, as second-class, matter. REVISED SUBSCRIPTION BATES. By Mall (postage prepaid In advance) Dally, with Sunday, per month ...-?0. 85 Dally. Sunday excepted, per year........ 7.60 Sally, with iSunday, per year 8.00 Sunday, per year 2.00 The "Weekly, per year 1-50 The "Weekly. 3 months .50 To City Subscribers Dally, per week, delivered. Sunday excepted.loc Dally, per week, delivered. Sunday Included. 20c POSTAGE HATES. United States, Canada and Mexico 10 to 14-page paper... ............. ...-lc 18 to 30-page paper...................... 2c 82 to 44-page paper......-... ....... ..-3o Foreign rates double. Kews or discission Intended for publication 1b The Oregonlan should be addressed Invaria bly "Editor The Oregonlan," not to the name of any Individual. Letters relating to adver tising, subscription, or to any business matter should bo addressed simply. "The Oregonlan." The Oregonlan does not buy poems or stories from Individuals, and cannot undertake to re turn any manuscripts sent to it without solici tation. No stamps should be Inclosed for this purpose. Eastern Business Office, 43, 44. 45. 4T, 48, 40 Tribune Building, New York City: 510-11-12 Tribune Building. Chicago; the S. C. Beckwlth Special Agency. Eastern representative. Tor sale In San Francisco by L. E. Lee, Pal ace Hotel news stand; Goldsmith Bros.. 236 Butter street: F. "W. Pitta, 1008 Market street; J K. Cooper Co.. 746 Market street, near the Palace Hotel; Foster & Orear, Ferry news' stand; Frank Scott. 80 Ellis street, and N. "Wheatley, 818 Mission street. For sale In Los Angeles by B. F. Gardner, 258 South Spring street, and Oliver &, Haines, 205 South Spring street. For sale In Kansas City. Mo., by Rlcksecker Cigar Co., Ninth and "Walnut streets.. For sale In Chicago by the P. O. News Co., 217 Dearborn street; Charles MacDonald, 53 Washington street, and the Auditorium Annex news stand. For sale in Minneapolis by M. J. Kavanagh. 80 South Third street For sale In Omaha by Barkalow Bros.. 1612 Famam street; Megeath Stationery Co., 1308 Farnam street; McLaughlin Bros.. 210 S. 14th street. For sale In Ogden by "W. G. Kind, 114 21th street; James H. Crockwell. 242 25th street; F. R. Godard and C. H. Myers. For sale In Salt Lake by the Salt Lake News Co., 7i "West Second South street. For sale In "Washington. D. C, by the Ebbett House news stand. For sale In Denver. Colo., by Hamilton & Kendrick, 906-012 Seventeenth street: Louthan fc Jackson Book Sc. Stationery Co., Fifteenth . and Lawrence streets. YESTERDAY'S "WEATHER Maximum tern perature, 70; minimum temperature, 49. TODAY'S WEATHER Showers., cooler; winds mostly southerly. PORTLAND, WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 23. THE PRESIDENT'S ERHOR. We have it on high and unhesitating authority that President Roosevelt Is. making some very serious errors these days, and they are of a sort calculated to Injure him In quarters where he might otherwise give great satisfaction, and delight He will not soon be for given for the offense which those con cerned will take at his course. They will remember it against him. They will make much fuss about it They will make him very tired and their capacity In that direction Is almost un limited. There is the mistake of Payne. The President had it in his power to throw Payne out of the Cabinet. He could have pleased numbers in this way and have earned the hostility of Payne "and his friends. He might even have alien ated the Republicans of Wisconsin. It was a bad break. Mistake No. 2. Why didn't he rein state Miss Todd and, thereby please numbers, and gain the hostility of the two Senators from Delaware? It is sad to see a man like Roosevelt, an author, a cultivated gentleman, a- member of the church and of yacht clubs, and In other respects well qualified for allen ating votes, pursuing tactics which tend to dispel the hypothesis that he was born yesterday. Mistake No. 3 the turn-down of Williams, supposed World's Fair Com missioner from Alaska. Williams had made himself busy against ex-Senator Thomas H. Carter, a figure of some in fluence in Republican circles. He- op posed Williams, but it was the hope of some of the President's most assiduous and ostentatious friends that he would antagonize Carter and stand by Will iams. This he has refused to do, and It is feared by the aforesaid ostentation and assiduity that now Montana may be for Roosevelt in 1904. It is a pity when a good man like Roosevelt perpetrates such astounding and depressing evidences of political sense. Why can't he follow the advice of the mugwumps and earn -the same political triumphs which have given them so many Presidents, Governors and Mayors; so invincible possession of electoral colleges, so overwhelming ma jorities in both houses of Congress? If he would only heed the disinterested counsel of these almost too-wise and frequently oversympathetlc friends, he might proudly reckon among his ene mies not only the trusts and organized labor, the banks and the common peo ple, the Catholics, W, C. T. U. and ne groes, but also the entire membership of Congress and the Republican ma chine in every state. We warn the President that his pres ent course will soon bring him to the parting of the ways. He cannot have the support of the voters and of mug wumps both. He must choose between them. He must either take the hard heads or the soft hearts. If he contin ues to strengthen himself with his own party, he need expect no votes at the next National convention from the Civil Service Commission or Citizen Train. IX LEAGUE WITH THE DEVIL. I have been deeply impressed by the very .marked difference In discipline among the en listed men since the abolition of the canteen. If men are unable to get a. glass of beer In a flecent and orderly manner In the garrison ,they will resort to the brothels which cluster around the reservation, where they often sink Into de bauchery and ruin. Annual Report of Brlga dler-General Frank D. Baldwin, commanding the Department or Colorado. We do not know General Baldwin, but that makes no difference. He Is very easily sized up from this utterance. He is a fine man to talk about debauchery and rum! Who is he to talk of "de cently and orderly" manners? Who is any one, in fact, unless he thinks as we do, we of noble character and perfect conscience, not as other men are? General Baldwin, apparently, chooses to Ignore the fact, of which we cannot suppose him Ignorant, that liquor-sell lng Is a. bad business and .liquor-drink Ing a bad practice. No one should be permitted to sell liquor, no one should be permitted to drink liquor. We think so, we say so; hence it Is so. Hence nobody shall think or say anything else. Hence the law shall declare that no man shall drink, in the Army or out o'f it. Hence any man who talks as Baldwin talks is not only a fool, but an arrant knave as well. He has unbounded assurance to speak of morality at all he, a man who has the hardihood to prefer the canteen to Jlholes. What difference -does it make whether the soldiers sink into debauch ery and ruin or not, so that we have our Way? What difference is it if the Army is demoralized, so that our own infallible conscience becomes the guide of all others? Iet the men go to broth els, if they want to; let the Army be made worthless. These are small mat ters so we have gained our point. There is no need of evidence or argu ment in a matter like this. We know what ails Baldwin. The simple fact that he does not think with us shows that he is at heart in a base conspiracy with the brewers and distillers. He holds nightly cabinet meetings with his Satanic majesty. However, perhaps it is just as well as it is. If all men were converted to our views, what could 'we' howl about? Who could be accused ' of conspiracy with brewers, distillers and Beelzebub? What would become of the New Voice? THE INFLUENCE OP GARMENTS. Ever since our first parents as the story . goes sewed fig leaves together and made .themselves aprons, the sub ject of dress 'Tias been more or less a vexatious one to civilized peoples. As a pamperer of vanity, a source of humili ation because of its poverty, the sport and prey of fashion, the exponent of fads and whims, the Influence of rai ment upon, character has been recog nized. Now comes a professor of one of the Western colleges who holds that much of the wickedness that sports in bifurcated garments Is due directly to the cut of the clothing. This, he as serts, Is especially true in the case of boys during the formative years of their school life. The difference in the characters that are developed by boys and girls is, he thinks',, largely due to the difference, in training, in "support of this theory he cites the following experiment: Two sisters married two brothers. Two boys were born, and the' mothers' decided to keep tne children as girls. The two children .were.- taught that thsy were girls, dressed .as girls, given dolls, etc., and treated ab glrls. This was con tinued until thev were 7 years of age when the children entered a public school.' where they were, refused admission until .the proper change in clothing was made. Both mothers assured me that Immediate moral degeneration'' was the result; from modest girls they became forward boys, quiet changed 'to noise; while frankness and truthfulness became deceit and hypocrisy. This 'is, indeed, eloquent testimony to the effect of dress on character. There will, of course'be differences of opinion as to its conclusiveness. Foreseeing this, the professor reasserts that there is no -superiority of girls over boys as such; It Is what they wear that makes girls modest and boys bold. That this statement may be upheld by fact -he re lates other Incidents In support of It. "A mother," he says, "who has an older girl and a younger boy told me this: After long play the boy grows tired of playing as his sister wants and becomes unruly. She has adopted the expedient of clothing, him in the cast-off clothes of his sister, when he always becomes docile. A Washington mother some times puts overalls on her little girl of 11 or 12 to save her clothing. In such dress the girl readily lights boys, while in her usual dress she will only 'sass back.' " The experience of many mothers, in the last few years, supports that of the Washington mother here quoted. For the sake of economy in the laundry bill and to give freedom of movement to their limbs and bodies, it has become the custom to dress little girls on the beaches and at mountain resorts in overalls, that have duplicated in cut and material -those worn by their' broth ers. With the tiny tots, according to the statement of observant people, this sort of apparel makes no difference. But the larger girls thus dressed be come hoydenish, rude, bold and unman nerly. And does not every mother know that the mostt refractory, boy becomes docile when put Into petticoats as a penalty? These and similar observations have evidently led the Western professor to conclude that the line of progress lies in the assimilation of man to woman. Specifying upon this point, he says: He must lose what remains to him of the sav age; ehe, what clings about her of the slave. ;The perfect equality In a political and social sense must come ere long. The limiting of man's field where he Is Inefficient and the widening. of woman's sphere where she Is ef feptlve and capable are problems with' which the twentieth century may deal. Not less a man, not less a woman, but a being more ser viceable to the race must each be. This Is a fine-spun theory, so fine in deed that there is grave danger that when placed as warp in the busy loom of life the heavy woof of fact that will be thrown into it will cause the fabric to bulge unevenly and break In unex pected places. RESPONSIBILITY ELSEWHERE. If gambling is to be stopped, there is one man In Multnomah County whose primacy in responsibility cannot be dodged. He has more power in the matter than all other officials put to gether. That man is John Manning, District Attorney. Gambling Is forbidden by a state law. It devolves upon the District Attorney to file Information or secure Indictments against lawbreakers and bring before juries the necessary evidence to convict them. John Manning was appointed District Attorney by Governor Cham berlain as a reward for political service. Not to be too specific as to the nature of that service, it Involved negotiations with the gamblers of Portland. The election of Governor Chamberlain and the consequent elevation of Man ning were achieved through the sup port of the gamblers of Portland, and the sequel Is that John Manning has never turned a hand to punish or inter fere with this class of lawbreakers. Mr. Manning will say that if any one will swear out a complaint he will prose cute; but meanwhile he dpes nothing. The city authorities arrested and tried upwards of twenty persons for gam bling last Winter, but to no effect This Is why Mayor Williams views further procedure along that line as hopeless. ' Mayor Williams Is willing to bear the .responsibility that rests upon him; but there is no re&son why he should bear the responsibility that rests upon the District Attorney. There is no reason why the representative of the law and order element should be blamed for the shortcomings of the man representative of and elected by the wide-open ele ment. All that the Mayor can do he has done arrest gamblers and bring them before the courts. If they are. ac quitted, that Is not his fault, and it is futile for him to repeat a fruitless farce. Why gambling games are running to day is simply because those who have been arrested by the police have slipped somehow through the fingers of the public prosecutors. Municipal and County Judges and juries. If the Dis trict Attorney will show- the Mayor a few convictions of gamblers, we ven ture to say that the police will not be 'long in making fresh arrests. The1 Mayor can have people arrested; but he has no .power' over the attorneys that prosecute or the courts that try. These should get their share of censure, if censure is to be passed. They have so far escaped notice. AN ARMY OF CHILDREN. At an early hour Monday morning the grounds surrounding the various schoolhouses in this city were thronged with children, and the overflow in num bers extendld In groups and lines for, several blocks in every direction. Tak ing a cursory inventory of the num bers and a look at the schoolhouses thus surrounded, one Involuntarily wondered where all of this squirming, shouting, active mass of humanity could be stowed during- school hours with due re gard to individual comfort and cubic air space. "It seems to me that an un necessary note of alarm was sounded about 'race suicide' a while ago," re marked a thoughtful man, as he halted near one of these congested centers of education on his way down town. And truly the danger from this source seems to be remote, unless, indeed, It Is a menace less than six years old. After a vacation of three months, during which time the building com mittee of the School Board has been busy with the effort to extend the seat ing capacity of the several schoolhouses to meet the growing demand, ,the ques tion, "What shall we do with them?" is seriously asked as the children, in cluding a large reinforcement of "six-year-olds," literally swarm the build ings. It is one thing to furnish in theory ample school facilities for all comers, and quite another to reduce this, theory to practice on the basis of funds that overburdened taxpayers declare to be aK that they can afford. This is the problem with which the School Board has been busy during vacation. De layed by strikes, hampered by dilatory tactics of various kinds in the indus trial field, pushed for tlm.e, the work has still progressed toward completion upon the several schoolhouses and an nexes, but it Is, nevertheless, still un finished and to all appearance the seat ing capacity of the schoolhouses will, when all work under way on school buildings is completed, be Inadequate. This is the price that a eity pays for its growth In homes and families; this the answer that the mothers send back to the wall of "race suicide." The price should be cheerfully paid, since It rep resents a growth of the most substan tial character a growth that Is perma nent and full of promise. ON THE BASIS OF SELF-INTEREST. A while ago the great mercantile and manufacturing establishments of Chi cago notified their employes that play ing the races and all other forms of gambling or immoral conduct, including the excessive use of tobacco and liquor, would render them liable to peremptory dismissal. As might have been and no doubt was expected, a vigorous protest went up in the name of personal lib erty, of which it was held the notifica tion was an unwarranted and unwar rantable invasion. It cannot be doubt ed, however, that this course of pro cedure, If rationally maintained, will prove beneficial to employes as well as employers. The rigid surveillance of his employer is excellent training for a young business -man In a large city, as he will gratefully acknowledge when heas himself become a responsible employer. The interference, so called, of railroad managers in the drinking habits of their employes has done more for tem perance in the last five or ten years than all the temperance lectures, temper ance societies and temperance pledges of many years preceding. The order that railway engineers and others ih authority on moving trains would ' be subject to dismissal, for indulging in In toxicating liquors was not made In the interest of morality or of moral reform, but purely In the interest of business. Railroad companies, under the laws, are responsible for the safe movement of their trains, hence responsible for such- acts of their employes as are like ly to put these trains In peril of wreck. This being true, they cannot afford to take chances as employers on men who drink to excess. Corporate selt-interest here met response In Individual self-interest. The railroads demanded sober men for responsible positions, and It got them. Mercantile and manufactur ing -firms need sober men and men who do not gamble to Insure the intelligent performance of their work and the hon orable accounting of their funds. When they are determined to have such men, and only such, In their service, they will get them. This is practical reform. It does not; seek to invade the domain of private rights, or, as Young America is wont to call it, "personal liberty," beyond the point where it is the employee's bus!-, ness to Interfere. He wants and must have sober men and men who are not "sports," to work for him. Those who will not accept the conditions have no cause to complain if they are discrim inated against when it comes to em ployment. The case is in their own hands. Their right to decide the ques tion at issue is unquestioned and un trammeled. NEW STUNTS FOR THE MAYOR, We are given to understand that neither the Mayor nor any other official has discretion in the enforcement of ordinances. If it's written In the book, it goes, and that's all there Is of it. For example: Ordinance No. 10811 Any person -who shall expectorate or spit on the floor of any street car or other public conveyance, on the floor of any public hall, building or office,; or upon any sidewalk . . . shall be fined not less than ten dollars nor more than .twenty-five dollars, or by imprisonment In the City Jail not exceeding ten days. Ordinance No. 39 S3. Any person who shall throw or deposit in any street, sidewalk or footpath of the City of Portland, any broken glass, bottles, crockery, nails, or throw, de posit or sweep Into or upon any street, side walk or footpath. any- paper or other sub stance . . . not less than five dollars nor more than fifty dollars. Any person or -persons who, shall ride.' or drive any animal or animals over any of the bridges in the city at a greater rate of speed than a "walk, . . . not less than five 'nor more than fifty dollers. No person using any animal,, except attached to a dray or truck,' shall leave such animal without securely fastening the same, and no person having or using any animal attached, to a dray or truck, shall leave such animal with out first securely locking the wheels of the' vehicle i . . not less than, five dollars nor more than fifty dollars. . There is no discretion In these mat ters. Let the entire population be jailed at once. As for the Mayor, he should have had himself Impeached -long ago. The pity of Mayor Williams for the dogs, that careless or cruel owners have permitted to be Imprisoned in the city pound Is shared by all-persons of hu mane Instincts. Especially is this true of-those who; through-the ownership of .a dog .have proved the affection and faithfulness of the animal. If the owner of a dog cannot, or from any cause does not, wish to pay the license' fee, prop erly imposed to .keep the city from being overrun with dogs, he should himself quletlyand painlessly kill the creature, or delegate the task to some one who will do the work properly. It Is both unnecessary and inexcusable to allow the - defenseless animal to be caught In the poundmaster's net, rudely and with more or less cruelty caged, conveyed to and shut up in the pound, and, after several days of hunger and wretchedness, dispatched. The case 13 one of cruelty to animals In which the Humane Soicety Is powerless to act, but which appeals to the pity, of every one who has owned and proved the faithfulness of a kind, intelligent dog. By the recent death of Dr. Thomas March Clark, Bishop Tuttle, of Mis souri, becomes presiding bishop of the Episcopal Church in the United States. The venerable bishop was born In 1812. His life thus covered the period of the four American wars of the past cen tury. With Phillips Brooks he stood at the head of the Broad Church move ment In this country. His death was not deplored as was that of Phillips Brooks as being untimely. He had mounted the last decade of his century and had long been In feeble health. Hence his death was accepted as a le gitimate call of Nature. His hold upon the affections of his people was, how ever, strong, and age and weakness in tensified it rather than caused it to re lax. He Is mourned with tender rever ence by thousands who recognize the fact that his work was done and the time of his release fully due. A tender and just eulogy of a dead friend by a long-time associate in busi ness is an act that is commendable to the writer while it calls up memories that all' too soon will sink into oblivion of the faithful performance of duty along the road of life. Such is the trib ute paid by Eugene Shelby to his old time friend and associate In business, William A. Atlee, who died In this city last Sunday morning. Those who knew Mr. Atlee during his active working years will recall through this timely tribute many ' acts that distinguished him among his fellow-workers and fellow-citizens as a just and honorable nian in the years that are gone. The revival of such memories before they sink into final eclipse does credit to human nature. The misery of London's poor has called forth many'phllanthroplc efforts, but none more practical and generous than that which has built up the Bar nardo Home for Waifs into an institu tion that sheltered 9785 boys and girls. The doors of the homes open to one word destitution. The Infant of a day and the boy or maiden verging on adult life are admitted freely, without dis tinction of race or creed, If destitute. The halt, - the blind, the incurably dis eased, all are admitted freely. If des titute. And, once -admitted, all are trained practically. The boys are taught trades and the girls are trained as do mestics, lacemakers, and In many other occupations. The Barnardo Homes are a fine example -of practical philan thropy. The importance of armored cruisers was the chldf lesson drawn by experts from the recent British' naval maneu vers. This Is satisfactory to the United States, which has always been "long" on armored cruisers. There is every reason to believe from the small experi ence the nations have had with modern ships of war that the heavily armed and heavily armored cruiser will take her place In the line with all but the most powerful battleships. As a mat ter of fact, the distinction between these cruisers and battleships Ib one with little difference to warrant its be ing made. The types approach more nearly with every new man-of-war that Is launched. The Chamber of Commerce report on conditions at the Columbia River jetty is just what The Oregonlan said it would be and just what It should have been. It reflects credit upon the dili gence and fairness of the committee that framed it, and records a well merited vote of confidence in the Gov ernment engineers. Our dispatches In dicate, a similar cause for satisfaction relative to work upon the dredge Grant Neither the jetty nor the dredge is to be spoiled by Ill-considered haste. The engineers are not to be "swayed from 'their judgment by popular clamor or newspaper criticism." Public opinion, as the court of last resort, 'is to be evoked by the mem bers of the Ministerial Association in opposition to the policy of the present City administration on gambling. We are told every day In the year, and are as citizens of a republic bound to be lieve, that all power rests with the peo ple. The present furnishes a capital chance to prove or disprove the asser tion that the taxpayers of Portland are against the Mayor in this contention. Many people are .accustomed to speak of irrigation as a wizard agency, and to quote the two blades of grass sentence, and yet a concrete example of the wiz ard's power will surprise them. In a report on Egypt just made by a 'govern ment expert it is shown that a tract of land no larger than the Irrigable area of California supports from agriculture alone 6,000,000 people, supports an ex pensive government, and pays the In terest on a national debt that Is half as big as. that of the' United States. "Banking In the Xieadlng Cities" is the title of an article In the current number of the Bankers' Magazine. Short histories are given- of two Port land banks, -the First National, which Is the oldest National bank on- the Pa cific Coast, and Ladd & Tllton,, a firm that began a banking business In 1859. The article Is illustrated with excellent halftone cuts. No Nevr Problem. Philadelphia Record. Some persons are needlessly alarmed over the relations between labor'.and cap ital, as if these were ven different from what they always were. There is nothing new in demands for better wages, and when business is particularly good these demands are especially vigorous, and the unions are rapidly recruited. When busl- ness'Xalls off wages decline and the unions find It Impossible to prevent men from working for a half loaf when they cannot get a whole one, and the membership of the unions declines. The men will work. whether they get more wages or less, but they are going to get all they can, and when they believe the employers are mak Ing large profits they are especially im peratlve in their demands. But when the men are satisfied that they are getting all they can they will stop asking, for more. They will not- shut up the factories and paralyze the business of the .country. WASHINGTON SHOULD AID. Editorial In Seattle Post-Intelligencer, September 22. Henry E. Reed, of Portland, Is visiting Seattle on behalf of the Lewis and Clark Exposition, which Is to open in Portland in-1905. It Is Mr. Reed's hope to create such an active interest In the project as to Insure the hearty co-operation of Washington with Oregon to make the Exposition a success. , Washington and Oregon are two states which were added to the American Union, largely as the result of the Lewis and Clark expedition, as the American title to this territory Is based upon original discovery and occupancy, the expedition, furnishing an Important link In forging this chain of title. Idaho and portions of both Wyoming and Montana are like wise Included in the territory so acquired. Naturally, Washington should take a deep Interest in the coming Exposition, de signed as it is to commemorate such an important event In the- history of the state There Is the further obligation resting upon this state that it is the wealthiest and most populous of the states formed out of the original territory of Oregon. Washington ought to have an exhibit at Portland second only to that of Oregon. It may confidently be assumed that this state will do Its part toward the Exposi tion, and will co-operate earnestly and heartily with Its. sister state to that end. The Washington delegation In Congress will do no more than Is expected of them by thIr constituents If . they likewise aid to the extent of their abilities in securing for the Exposition Congressional appro priations on an adequate scale and ac cording to precedents set with other expo sitions designed to commemorate Import ant events In the Nation's history. EDITORSTHROWINGVERBAIBRICKS San Francisco Argonaut When Pulitzer selected members of the advisory board of the new school of jour nalism, from among the "greatest living editors," he hurled the Apple of Discord into the editorial Olympus. Never again,, we fear, will harmony spread her brood ing wings over metropolitan newspaper dom. To begin with, the Evening Post whose editor was not Invited to share in the solemn councils of the advisory board, commented on the proposed school thus caustically: A general refusal to buy or advertise In a newspaper which persistently sins against good taste and decency would do far more In a month to "tone up." our dally press than would the graduation of hundreds of "bachelors of Journalism." . . . Wo are bound to say that no great moral uplift- can derive from a source which has done so much, In the past 20 years, to degrade American Journalism even If the gift .be made by way of expiation. Thereupon Advisory Board Member McKelway, through his paper, the Brook lyn Eagle, magisterially rebuked the Post for its "cynicism." More in sorrow than in anger, the Eagle pointed out that by its unjust criticism, the Post's editor had forever dashed his chances of being one of Pulitzer's journalistic Immortals. "It is within the knowledge of the pres ent members of the advisory board of the proposed school,' said the Eagle, "that it was Mr. Pulitzer's intention, on his return In October, to request a well known member of the staff of the Post to become a member of the board." "If we had only known!" tragically exclaims the Post at this awful revelation, meta phorically tearing the editorial locks. But the Eagle was not yet through with the Post. Listen to this: Happily, the understudy of qualities, which should neither be Imitated nor "emulated, is marked by a weakness of denotement and a feebleness of delivery which reduce the dam age, though without decreasing the elementary Indecency and the clotted Inanity of the per formance. And here is another choice bit from the World Itself, appropos of some misstate ments about it by its evening contempo rary: It Is possible that the management of the Columbia School of Journalism may think It desirable to establish a kindergarten depart ment In which budding Journalists may learn that moral censors should not habitually He about their neighbors. Such a department would Justify Its existence, even If It trained no other pupils than the editors of the Evening Post. What good examples these editors are setting to the downy-lipped pupils in the school of journalism! "Ideal Girl of Today." St. Paul Pioneer Press. CHICAGO, Sept IS. A Chicago young woman has been chosen as "the ideal girl of today." Since the marriage at Lake Geneva Sunday of Miss Carrie Woolfolk, daughter of Colonel Alexander M. Woolfolk, to Granville W. Browning It has leaked out that the bride was the one selected from all others by Mrs. Margart E. Sangster as the living prototype of the ideal" girl who Is the herolnt of her latest novel "Janet Ward." The frontispiece of the book, supposed to represent an Ideal, Is In reality a por trait of Mrs. Browning, nee Woolfolk. It was at the special request of Mrs. Sang ster that the Chicago girl consented to the use of her picture. By her marriage Mrs. Browning has made perfect the similarity between her self and the character of Janet Ward as drawn by Mrs. Sangster. Janet Ward was the daughter of a Ten nessee clergyman, who had more charity In his soul than money in his pocket. Janet taught school and went through college, although it was sometimes a struggle for her. She longed for a career. She wrote some poetry- that was accepted by the magazines. Then Bhe went to New York and did newspaper work. Later she wrote novels which proved popular, and a brilliant future opened before "her. But the lure of fame and the brilliant future were not enough. She married a young minister of a New York parish. Miss Woolfolk was graduated from the Hyde Park School. She was "caught in the whirl- of the period." She longed for a career. She began the study of art Her natural talent and her enthusiasm for the work gave promise of noteworthy achievement She gained the praise of her masters, and her friends predicted for her a remarkable success. But true to . the character in the book, she had chosen to forget about the career. Mr. and Mrs. Browning are still on their honeymoon trip In Minnesota. The Printers' Oath. Louisville Courier-Journal. The Catholic priest who has started a crusade against the oath required by the International Typographical Union seems likely to become famous, as he Is being unanimously supported by the church, which has always condemned oath-bound secret organizations. Officers of the union explain that the oath that they will hold the Interests of the- union above all other Institutions, "political, social and religious," is only used In a Pickwickian sense; but the Roman church does not believe in quibbles. The consequence will inevitably be that the oath must be re canted or the Roman Cathollo members re fusing to do so will be excommunicated. The Roman church never recedes from its position. A good deal of squirming will be done, but the issue Is easy to pre dict The Knife and the Cheese. Philadelphia Ledger. If the captains of financemean to op pose President Roosevelt because he has, Wiien occasion required, valiantly stood against them and for "law and order," they will once more Illustrate the Inform ing fable of the cheese that made war upon the knife. They will possibly re member the result of that contest the cheese- was cut Into Indistinguishable atoms and the knife was brightened; MYSTERIOUS DISAPPEARANCES. Chicago Tribune. Here Is. an interesting Item for the "Tel egraphic Tittle Tattle" columns of the papers of the United States: "There are now on 'the books of the Chicago police department the names of ISO persons who have been reported miss ing since August 1, 1S03. Only five or six of these persons have since been reported found." How interesting this Is, how startling, and best of all how true! The Inquisi tive person who writes to the police de partment will find that, his telegraphic title tattle column has given him a piece of lrrefragably accurate Information. It Is gospel truth that-there are now on the books of the Chicago police department the names of 180 persons' who have been reported missing since the first of August, and that only five or six of these persons have since been reported found. The inauisltlve Derson will then probably write an article on the dangers of life in Chicago and on the possibility, that some day the whole city In one of Its irrespon sible moods will disappear from the shores of Lake Michigan and turn up In Man itoba, What a beautiful thing a He is when it is made, not out of whole, cloth, but out of a half truth! It was tha,t kind of He that Inspired Mr. Kipling to write his ex ultant dithyramb on A Host impeccable He, A quite unwreckable. He, A water-tight, fireproof, angle iron, sunk hinge, time-lock, steel-face He. The other half of the truth on which the 180 missing persons He will be founded Is that whenever Mother hasn't seen Maggie for IS minutes she runs or telephones to the police station and tearfully demands the Immediate return of her child. The desk sergeant heaves a sigh of internal weariness and of external sympathy and chalks down a name and an address and a description. Then when Mother goes home and finds Maggie asleep In the coal bin she Is so happy that all recollection of the desk sergeant is effaced from her mind. That doesn't bother the desk ser geant He knew that Maggie was In the coal bin. He has been acquainted with a long line' of Maggtas. Those few disappearances which are not of the Maggie kind are usually accom plished by adults who know what they are doing, and frequently have a perfect right to go away from here if they want to. Nevertheless, It Is perfectly true that since the flgst of August ISO persons have been reported missing to the Chicago po lice. Could anything be more spectacular ly and sclntlllatlngly mysterious? The Sign-Board Evil. Chicago. Tribune. A correspondent thanks the Tribune for remarks recently .made by it about the sign board evil, and says "if the news papers would make a strike at sign board advertising and, bring It Into disrepute with the public It would do more to clean the streets from the- nuisance than all the appeals that could be made to property owners or advertisers." The newspapers have said a good deal about the subject at one time and another, but they have ac complished next to nothing, and are not likely to do much if they keep up a vig orous campaign. The men who advertise their goods on blU boards believe that kind of advertising pays them. So long as they are of that opinion they will find property-owners who will be eager to rent them space. The love of beauty or the hatred of ugliness will not Induce them to surrender the few dollars which the advertisers give them. The "almighty dollar" Is an irresistible argument Prob ably most of the money spent on sign board advertising is wasted. It is seldom that one hears anybody say that he bought something because he saw its vir tues recorded am. a billboard. If It were possible to convince sign board adver tisers that they are throwing away most of their money they would stop Instantly, and a great many hideous products of the sign painter's art would disappear from the streets, but they have not been con vinced yet. andA appeals to them to cease disfiguring the city are quite thrown away. They will say they are not esthetes, but business men, and that while their sigh boards may be ugly they are lawful and profitable. Agreement With. Chamberlain. New York Tribune. Mr. Balfour refers to the American system as the preferable one. He sees that, the makers of the American consti tution were the founders of the true free trade generations before Cobden. "The most momentous, perhaps the most per manent victory for; free trade was won when interstate tariffs were forbidden In the United. States." These are his words. They exactly express Mr. Chamberlain's Idea, too, and the Ideal toward which ho Is endeavoring to urge the British Empire. Under insular free trade Great Britain Is helpless, enslaved, "bound hand and foot in the presence of her Industrial and com mercial enemies. She has freedom to buy and sell wherever others do not un dersell her, but she has no freedom of ne gotiation. The most envious and longing looks of her clearest headed statesmen are cast toward America, where prevail at once the greatest freedom of trade and the greatest freedom of negotiation the world has ever seen, and the greatest freedom, we may add, from tariff wars. It Is of hopeful omen to Great Britain that at this epoch making crisis in her career she has the services of so sane and logical and profound a thinker as Arthur Balfour, and so fearless and ag gressive a leader as Joseph Chamberlain. Graft Is Nonpartisan. Chicago Inter Ocean. From the beginning of the disclosures of-corruption in the Postofflce Depart ment there has been an attempt on the part of some Republicans and Republican newspapers to minimize the scandal. Such an attempt Is foolisn. Crime knows no politics. Graft is nonpartisan. It will be a great help to clearness of public thought and to honesty in the pubUc service If we all remember that crime has no politics that every administration must guard against theft, no matter what its politics, and that graft is the most thoroughly nonpartisan thing in the world. The Brave Old Oak. Henry F. Chorley. A ong for the oak, the brave old oak, "Who hath ruled in the greenwood long; Here's health and renown to his broad green crown. And his fifty arms so strong. There's fear In his frown when the sun goes down. And the fire In the West fades out; And he showeth his might on a wild midnight, "When the storms through his branches ehout. Then here's to the oak. the brave old oak, "Who stands In his pride alone; And still flourish he, a hale, green tree. When a hundred yeara are gone I In the days of old, when the Spring with gold Had brightened his branches gray, Through the grass at his feet crept maidens sweet. To gather the dew of May, And on that day to the rebec gay They froUcked with lovesbmo ewalns. They are gone, they are dead, In the church yard laid,. But the tree It still remains. Then here's to the oak", the brave old oak. Who stands In his prlde'alone; And still flourish he, a hale, green tree. When 'a hundred years are gone! Ha saw the rare times, which the Christmas chimes Were a merry sound to hear When the Sculre'a wide hall and the cottage v small Were filled with good English cheer. Now gold hath the sway we all obey, . And a ruthless king Is he; But he never shall send aw ancient friend To be tossed on the stormy sea. Then here's to the oak, the brave old oak. Who stands in his pride alone; And still flourish he, a hale,, greentree. When a hundred years are gone' NOTE AND COMMENT. The Anarchist's Tomsta. f Two Italians have been sentenced to six months' imprisonment for throwing a tomato at Premier Combes. Cat Comb' he Is ver Bad-a man. He put-a tax on macaroni; To pay-a him we got-a plan We geta fruit dat'a phoney, Wo smack-a him wit" ripe tomat Watta you tlnk-a dat? He come to make-a speech Marseilles, We walt-a nice an' steady. Pa people crowd-a to da rails. Da blg-a' man is ready We spoll-a speech wit' ripe tomat? Watta you. tlnk-a dat? One cop-a he was at da front He take U3 to da coop-a; Da Judge-a say Just slx-a mont' We awlm-a In da soup-a Get-a six mont' for one ,tomat' Watta you tlnk-a dat? The Servian regicides don't seem atle to let go. Most Irish comedians depend on the Dutch for their comedy. The Ministerial Association should now have no difficulty in escaping ennuL It looks as If VIgneux's and Mrs. RIggs' resignations will be close together. Some cases make the ball system seem an undesirable thing. Sam Parks' is one of them. N Mrs. Nation Is to star a3 the "De fender of Homes," that is, other homes than her own. The "best dressed man in Chicago" is dead. It is a cinch he won't hold the title in his new abode. The President is setting a dangerous precedent in1 abolishing offices on the sole ground that they are unnecessary. Rear-Admiral Evans seems to place naval courts-martial verdicts In the same class as those of Kentucky juries. For an allegedly debatable question, that of forest reserves Is regarded by Oregonians with singular unanimity. The Colorado Populists have discovered rebels in the state. Down with the rebel lion that would foster law and order. In common with every other American battleship, the Indiana now holds the world's record for heavy gun-practice. Tho deputy sheriffs are apparently re quired to exercise some judgment In al lowing prisoners to escape from the rock pile. The principal feature of Chicago's cen tennial celebration appears to bo tho commemoratiorrpf a fire that took place in 18TL Tho tenderfoot may miss a hundred shots a day, but his bullet always finds the mark when he mistakes his friend for a deer. 'V, Salem people must have been playing the races to some advantage, when even a peanut vendor can afford to be robbed of ?250. Despite many efforts to prove the con trary, the fashions, from high-heeled shoes to divorce, begin at the top and grow downward. There should be some other charge than that of destroying property against gen tle Scoggins, of Astoria, who blinded a dog with ammonia. George Francis Train appears to bp the only citizen that approves the Central Labor Union's course in the Government printing office matter. The Adventure of the Tin Dollar. Sherlock Holmes comes to life In a few days to unravel mysteries at $1 a word. By offer ing $2.25 for all words of more than five letters The Oregonlan has been able to secure advance sheets of the series. On the disappearance of Holmes In Switzerland I had come out to Portland for rest Last Thursday afternoon a familiar voice hailed me. "Hello, Watson; I see you arc opposed to the city's gam bling policy." I started and looked 'round. The words had come from a policeman in white gloves. "All right Watson, Pm In dis guise. No one will suspect mo of being wise to anything." "But how," I asked, "did you know my view3 on the gambling question?" "I observe," replied Holmes, "that you have not been shaved for somo days. Consequently I am safe in saying that you went broke playing bank, and a man that bust is always against gambUng." "Wonderful," I murmured. "But come to my room." "One moment" he whispered, as he hastily removed his white gloves. "There, now I am an unobtrusive citizen again. Ha! There goes General Beebe." "Marvelous," said L "How did you know?" "1 saw him salute his reflection in a hotel window just now." "Ho reflects, then," said I, with a flash of Holmes' reasoning powers. A frown darkened tho expressive fea tures of my companion. He was evident ly jealous. "As you have had nothing to eat for four days, take this dollar and buy a square meal. I will meet you after awhile." "How will you know where to find me?" I asked. "Don't worry. I'll know all right," re sponded Holmes, and I hastened to a restaurant After a hearty meal, I ten dered the dollar. "Bad," said tho pro prietor, letting it fall heavily on the counter. The hurry-up wagon was call ed, and I was taken to the City Jail, where Holme3 was waiting for me. PLEASANTRIES OF PAItAGRAPHERS "There's one great beauty about this Wagner music." "What's that?" "It's so blamed loud you can't hear the society people chattering in the boxes." Cleveland Plain Dealer. "All here?" asked the host. "I believe so." replied his wife. "Very well," he said. Then, turning to the entertainer he had engaged for the evening: "Hurry up and bo funny now. We're waiting to laugh." Chicago Post. "Of all the unlucky dogs," moaned the poor dog as the net fell over him. "I'm the worst yet." "Mo," replied his captor, tho sausage maker, "you are not the wurst yet, but you will bo pretty soon." Philadelphia Ledger. "These papers are here for you to read whllo waiting for your orders," said the waiter In the eating-house. "Well," replied the man who had been waiting over an hour, "I think you should supply novels." Philadelphia Record. When a woman has spent a lot of her hus band's money at a Summer resort It gives her a good deal of satisfaction to get home on & hot day and say to him: "Goodness! I thought you wrote me you were having cool, weather at home." Atchison Globe. "I got up at 5 o'clock this morning," re marked the married man, "to go to a fire." "Where was It"" asked the bachelor. "In the kitchen stove after I made It," replied the married man. sadly.Clnclnnatl Commercial Tribune. "What are you going to do now?" his Inti mate friend Inquired. "Well." gloomily re sponded the defeated pugilist, "there's so blamed many has-beens on the stage now that T guess the only thing for me to do is to go and be a Chautauo.ua attraction." Chicago Tribune.