6
THE MOKNING "OMtfDSlAS, TtJlSSUST, 'APRIL 22, 1302,
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TODAY'S WEATHER Partly cloudy, with
elowly rising temperature; northwesterlj
winds.
YESTERDAY'S WEATHER Maximum tem
perature, C9; minimum temperature, 39; pre
cipitation, 0.02 inch.
'PORTLAND, TUESDAY, APRIL 22.
, TROUBLES OP PBAXUT POLITICS.
The delay of the Simon people in get
ting out their contingent for the Demo
Simon ticket has been due to the diffi
culty of finding men who are Republi
cans in fact, or even call themselves Re
publicans, who are willing to stand as
candidates of a faction which is seekingj
Jts own interest merely, or pursuing Its
"own motives of revenge, regardless of
the general interests of the country, or
of the welfare of the Republican party
as an instrument necessary to the well
being of the country. It is exceedingly
difficult to find persona whose ttfought
and purpose are so wholly bound up in
Simon that, they would consent to be
candidates, yet whose standing Is such
"that their nomination would not be ab
solutely ridiculous. But why the hesi
tation to nominate Simon's well-known
and anicent "trusties" for the legislat
ure and cdunty offices? For the Legis
lature, why not Mackay, Bates and
Ross? For the city and county offices,
rw'hy not Cohen, Spencer, Bernstein,
"Ted" Holman, "Abe" TIchenor." and so
on down the line?
It te a difficult thing, of course, to
get -men of good reputation for dis
interested citizenship and patriotic
'character to identify themselves
with a beaten faction, desperately try
ing to hold on to the shreds, rage and
xemnants. of the political power still in
their hands, and seeking moreover per
sonal revenge. Republicans who care
lor something more than factional poli
tics, petty offices and personal revenges,
yet who will consent to be candidates
of such a faction, are not eaey to find.
Hence the delay in filling out the Sl
xnonlte contingent for the Demo-Simon
ticket.
To every Republican of high princi
ples, to every Republican worth the
name, it seems -a good time now to
stand by the policy and purposes of the
Republican party. Never was party
more completely vindicated by results
than the Republican party has been by
the events of the last five years. Phe
nomenal prosperity; extension of Na
tional prestige; expansion of commerce;
increased employment for labor at high
est rates of general wages ever known;
advance of the National flag in two
hemispheres; complete establishment of
- National credit and character at home
. and abroad; entry of the United States
into Oriental commerce on a scale that
already has reached great proportions
and is augury of more; absolute dis
proval of every argument alleged
against the policy of the Republican
party during the Bryan crusade; entire
and complete" vindication of Republican
forecast, principles and purposes against
the pessimistic predictions and conten
tions of Its opponents are not these
sufficient reasons for standing by the
Republican party?"
.- And there are other, reasons. Oregon
will not want to go on the record
against the National Administration.
Oregon will not desire to announce to
the country that In this state a reac
tion has set In -against the policy that
has delivered the country from the
Slough of Despond, In .which it was
foundering only a few years ago. Ore
gon will not seek the bad eminence or
doubtful honor of being the first state
to condemn the vigorous Americanism,
of President Roosevelt. Oregon will not
be willing to declare to the country
that a Pacific state, one of the group
more concerned than any others in Na
tional expansion in the Pacific Ocean,
and in commercial expansion beyond it,
is first to repudiate these results, and
to call for "scuttle," retreat and con-
rtraction. The one way to emphasize
" the voice of Oregon on this subject is
to hold the Republican majority In the
state up to the high-water markT
Upon such view ofthe subject what
little, narrow, cheap, selfish, peanut and
"graft" politics the work of this Simon
faction, in co-operation with Democrats,
one-half of whom are really ashamed
of the association. Is!
No such spectacle was ever presented
here as that of these nominations of
the Simon contingent, handed out to
'and accepted by the Democratic party.
'Behind these people there Is no pretense
of authority from any quarter. The
names are srmply dictated by the three
. or Jfour sub-bosses of the inner Simon
ring.
The burning of the steamer City of
Pittsburg last Sunday morning was a
river "disaster that has few parallels in
the navigation of the Mississippi River.
It recalls the story of the "Prairie
Belle," as sung by John Hay years
ago. In the suddenness with which the
disaster happened, 'but -unfortunately
not In the fatuity that attended It.
A calamity of this kind Js'not greater
than that frequently -witnessed in the
wreck of a railway train, but the hor
ror of it all the darkness, except as
the blazing- steamer "burned a -hole in
the night," the rudely awakened pas
sengers compelled to choose between
being burned to death or drowned, the
screams and struggles and vain at
tempts to reach a place of safety, and,
mingling w4th all other sounds, .the
crackling and roaring of the flames,
suffice to paint a picture of human ex
tremity from which the dullest imag
ination shrinks and turns away. The
sounds borne under such conditions
upon the "hot, black breath of the
burning boat" has been well designated
an "Infernal roar." Of necessity it soon
ceased, and the record of another great
tragedy was written.
SUNBEAMS FROM CUCUMBERS.
It is silly, the way some are talking,
that the Republican vote of the state Is
going to Chamberlain. It Is talk mere
ly, from Democratic sources. Inquire
among Republicans and you will find
there is nothing in It, That the Simon
junta in Portland will help Chamber
lain to the extent of its power is not
questioned. It will give him a squad
or bunch of votes, but the number can-
) not be sufficient to make an Impression
on the general result.
When Democrats and Simonltes talk
as if the Republican party had been
disrupted and was about to dissolve,
that Its voters were turning to the
Democratic party, and that Chamber
lain and his associates were to have a
walkover, they merely chatter among
themselves. They ask those who hear
them-to suppose that Republicans have
ceased to be Republicans.
The leaders of the Simon gang here
undoubtedly are for Chamberlain and
the Democratic ticket, Of them, more
hereafter. Here and throughout the
state they may muster a few hundred
votes on election day: but to Demo
cratic ears their croak Is as If there
were ten thousand frogs In a pond,
which yield's but two dozen when the
pond is drained.
Republicans adhere to their party be
cause they see reason to be Republicans
and to adhere to It. They see noth
ing In the recent history or conduct pt
the Democratic party that is attractive
to them. "They see how fortunate the
country was and Is to have escaped the
pit of Bryanism. They want business,
commerce, sound money and Industry,
and don't want "scuttle." Stories are
told that Republicans are going to vote
the Democratic ticket; but they are told
by Democrats and by the handful of
members of the Simon Inner clique,
who, for revenge, would like to defeat
the Republican party since they can't
control It "Which, if not victory. Is
yet revenge." It was not a gentleman
of admirable character who said that.
We shall see whether the Republicans
of Oregon have suddenly become Demo
crats. The Oregonlan must be excused
for its Incredulity. .
DEARER BREAD IN ENGLAND.
Our" dispatches announced yesterday
that the trades unions will protest to
the British Parliament: against the pro
posed imposition of a revenue tax on
corn. This protest was to be expected,
for the original purpose of the repeal of
the corn laws in 1846 was to make cheap
bread possible to the wjorklhgman, since
without cheaper bread the manufac
turer would have to face a demand for
higher wages from his employes. The
manufacturer was able in 1846 to force
the repeal of the corn laws, and thus
through cheaper bread was able to es
cape the relatively high wages that
would have "been inevitable had bread
imports continued to be taxed in the
interest of the English agriculturists.
The London and Liverpool bakers have
already announced the Increase of half
a penny in the price of a two-pound loaf
of bread, and as peas, rice, lentils and
manufactured articles like macaroni
will pay a duty under the class of grain
and flour, the working classes are face
to face with an increased price of living,
which prompts the trades unions to pro
test to Parliament against this imposi
tion of a tax on imported foodstuffs.
The protest will not be- heeded, and then
there will be a demand for increased
wages, which, if not granted, will be
followed by strikes. Political disturb
ances will be sure to follow, for the
Liberals have promptly given notice of
their strenuous op"posltion to the grain
tax, upon the ground that it will pres3
ultimately and with the greatest sever
ity "upon those least able to afford It;
that It imposes a burden on the masses
while It aids landowners; that it aban
dons free trade in food and irritates
labor because it is sure to distress It. ,
Great Britain has been brought to this
decision to tax grain Imports largely
through the stress of military expend-"
Itures for the South African War. The
present yearly British expenditure Is
$870,000,000, twlcetbe outlay of five years
ago. This outlay is $130,000,000 over and
abqve the preseVit revenue for a year to
come, and the deficit for the past year
adds $80,000,000. The Chancellor of the
Exchequer proposes to raise about $15,
090,000 of the new revenue by taxation of
grain, flour and meal. This bread tax
is not technically a return to protection,
for It Is laid for revenue only, and It Is
freely predicted that it will be repealed
at the first opportunity. At th'e same
time, It must be recognized that In or
der to effect its repeal expenditures
must notably decline, and present bur
dens may disappear only to be replaced
by new ones. Thus, while the pressure
of the Boer War sooner or later will be
relaxed, Great Britain is doomed to a
vastly increased annual expenditure to
keep up her navy to its present point of
supremacy over the united navies of
France arid Russia, or those of France
and Germany. These powers are stead
ily increasing their fleets, and Great
Britain, to maintain her present advan
tage, must spend a great deal of money
I even if no new war overtakes her. The
political situation in Ireland promises
to make the government of that coun
try expensive. The situation in China
and Japan may breed war at any mo
ment There is small prospect that
Great Britain will at any near date be
able to repeal the new taxes on grain,
meal and other food imports The rad
ical Liberals, backed by the laborvote,
will, of course, oppose the imposition of
these new food taxes, but they cannot
nope -to unseat the present Salisbury
government, because a good many in
fluential liberals, like Lord Rosebery,
will support these war taxes on grain
because they are in full sympathy with
the idea of "strengthening the bonds
of the empire," as .Mr. Chamberlain
puts it
The imposition of these new grain
duties will be welcomed by the British
colonies and dependencies that are anx
ious to secure preferential treatment for
thejr products in the British market.
Canada 'and Australia will be sure to
press with renewed hope for their de
mand, for preference over American
farmers In the British markets. They
will be sure -to ask that the new grain
duties be not imposed upon Imports
from their countries, while remaining
upon the Imports from the non-British
world. Mr. Chamberlain has long been
looking for an opportunity to give the
colonies preferential treatment, and
now he has it at his hand. The out
look Is at present that the new tariff
for revenue grain duties has come to
stay; that they are but the beginning
of the end for the British worklngman
of the policy" of free food. Of course,
to the workingmen, for whom the
trades unions make their present appeal
to Parliament against these new grain
duties, it Is a practical question; they
don't want dearer bread or kindrei'food
products. Dearer bread doesn't taste
any "the sweeter because the tax is not
protective In any sense, but for revenue
only. To the worklngnian a tax that Is
burdensome to him is offensive because
it is oppressive, and he doesn't care a
button under what policy nr name he is
paying more for his loaf of bread.
EGREGIOUS INGRATITUDE.
A baseless and unjust attack Is made
upon Representative Tongue by a
Marshfield parer because of his efforts
on behalf of the mouth of the Columbia
River. The Marshfield Mall under
stands that ''Mr. Tongue Is too closely
in sympathy with Portland to do the
best for Coos Bay." Nothing could be
farther from the truth than is the Im
plication that Mr. Tongue's activity In
behalf of the Columbia River, affects
adversely his capacity to secure appro
priations for Cocs Bay. The fact is that
Coos Bay, In common with all other
waters whatsoever, has to stand on its
own merits, not only with Congress,
but with the Engineering Corps, by
"whose recommendations Congress is
guided.
The fact regarding Mr. Tongue Is that
he has always put the Interests of his
own district first, and, further, no dis
trict in the United States has a more
consistent, insistent and persistent ad
vocate In Congress than the Second Ore
gon District has in the person of Mr.
Tongue. He has done all for Coos Bay,
and for Taquina Bay, that anybody
could do, and more than most could do.
And If he has exerted himself on behalf
of the Columbia River, it is much more
because he realizes that Its improve
ment Is of great Importance to the en
tire Pacific Northwest, Including South
western Oregon, than it is because Of
any desire he has of creating political
sentiment in his favor In Portland,
which has nothing to do cither with his
nomination or his election.
The needs of the Columbia River rest
upon too broad a basis to be menaced
either by an indifferent Congressman
or the demands of Coos Bay. Carrying
the commerce of three states, aggregat
ing some $13,000,000 a year, this great
waterway is certain to be recognized In
Congress so long as any other projects
are recognized. The cheapening of
transportation by this improvement,
moreover, affects the values of prod
ucts and land of all Oregon, Including
Cocs Bay. The expenditures carried by
the present river and harbor bill aver
age but $1 per ton for the Columbia's
commerce, while the amount carried for
Coos Bay in the last-bill was $1 50 per
ton of Coos Bay's commerce.
It is unfortunate for Coos Bay that its
public sentiment is out of harmony
with the rest of the state, enough so to
justify one of Its newspapers In mak
ing this attack upon Portland and the
Columbia River. Strenuous efforts have
been made here to enlist the co-operation
of the people of Coos Bay In bind
ing that region more closely to the
people and the commerce of the state
to which It belongs. But without ap
preciable success. The affiliation of the
Bay is mostly with San Francisco, and
the apparent desire is to continue it.
Portland Is proud of the rich country
drained by Coos Bay, and wishes that
Its overtures there were more kindly
received.
Doubtless the operation of a railroad
connecting Marshfield with Portland is
the only thing that will make Coos Bay
actually as It is nominally a part of
Oregon. The efforts which Oregon men
have put forth and which have resulted
In the jetty" there and the present chan
nel, have only served to facilitate trade
between Coos Bay and San Francisco.
These efforts will doubtless be contin
ued unabated by Mr. Tongue, and the
thanks he gets are such sneers as we
have reprinted from the Mail.
A DELIGHTFUL HUMORIST.
The late Frank R. Stockton was a
most delightful humorist of very rare
quality in our American literature. The
great majority of our American humor
ists are depicters chiefly of what Is
transient rather than what is permanent
In our National life. Irving is a gentle
humorist, whose best books are written
in the spirit of Addison and Goldsmith,
and because of this they still hold a
place In the libraries of men of good
taste and good feeling. Mark Twain,
a man of original genius both as a
coarseihumorlst and a vigorous satirist,
has written some books that will sur
vive his generation, but a good deal of
his earlier work was thrown off as mere
"pot-boilers," and Is so charged with
transient local color and atmosphere
that It will not long survive him. John
Phoenix, Artemas Ward, Nasby. Or
pheus C. Kerr, were all men of fine tal
ent, but their work stood for" the tran
sient rather than the permanent in
American life, even as the diverting ut
terances of "Mr. Dooley" do today. The
humor of Dr. Holmes In his "Autocrat
of the Breakfast Table," with its suc
cessors, "The Professor" and "The
Poet," will always be good reading, and
so will his humorous pqems, "The Last
Leaf," "The Comet," "The One-Hoss
Shay," "Rip Van Winkle, M. D.," and
"How the Old Horse Won the Bet," but
when we remember that Holmes' llter
ary career extended over half a century,
his humorous verses of permanent qual
ity are few and lar between. Lowell's
Yankee dialect poetry belongs to the
list of humor of permanent quality.
To this short record it is safe to add
the name of Frank R. Stockton. The
man was a great artist. He did not try
to say iunny things, but he created a
fine, humorous atmosphere. He made
the situation gradually unfold Itself
from start to finish, and did it so skill
fully that you commenced to smile
gently in the first chapter, and never
stopped smiling to the last. There was
no coarseness or rankness In his work,
no broad. farce, no "meat-ax" humor.
He wasas non-sensational, as playful,
as gentle and well bred in his humor
as Charles Lamb, whom he resembles
in his capacity for gradual creation of
a humorous atmosphere by taking hu-
mor from every side and giving it forth I
on every side. '
Mr. Stockton was a man of original
geniua. This conclusion forces itself
upon you when you try to think of some
celebrated humorist to w-hom he was
indebtcdfor thejnanner, if not the mat
ter, of his 'humor, and you find that
he has no closely related prototype.
He is not the echo of any famous hu
morist In England or America; he is
sul generis. The time will come, if -it
has not already arrived, when Stockton
wIU be recognized as belonging to the
first rank of American humorists of
permanent rather than mere transient
excellence. His stories and sketches
will always be humorous, for the same
reason that Sancho Panza is, as divert
ing today as. he was to the Spain of
Cervantes; for the same reason that
Falstaff is as Inimitably mlrth-provok-lng
today as he was to the England of
Elizabeth.
It has been discovered, fortunately
in time to prevent serious and perhaps
appalling disaster, that the roof of the
Centenary church building on the Ea9t
Side Is unsafe and liable, to collapse
from any unusual weight of snow, or
through stress of heavy wind. This
discovery " serves to illustrate the
chances that people unwittingly take
through lack of, or carelessness in, an
Inspector of construction. This build
ing, a costly and Imposing edifice,
erected through the energy of a boom
pastor In boom times, has been the
cause of much, trouble in and out of
the courts, but those who attend serv
ices there, and indeed the public gen
erally, since the building has -often,
upon special occasions been crowded to
the very doors, have reason for con
gratulating 'themselves and each other
that they were saved from the worst
that could have happened, as the re
sult of the methods by which this
building was raised. It is hoped by
the many friends of the church that the
trouble in regard to this structure will
end with the repairs now in progress,,
the object' of which is to strengthen it
where it was lamentably and Indeed
criminally, weak In construction. While
the findings of the repairing architect
are sufficient to "cause a shudder to
pervade the community, the fact that
they were discovered in time to pre
vent a catastrophe is sufficient cause
for an occasion of special and' earnest
thanksgiving.
Castle Loo, where Queen Wllhelmlna
lies 111 of typhoid fever, is an ancient
pile, without any of the sanitary appli
ances for drainage. Like Buckingham
Palace, where the Prince Consort of
England met his death from typhoid.
and Marlborough House, where King
Edward, then Prince of Wales, con
tracted the samje disease and barely
escaped with his life, this old Dutch
palace Is not rotten only because it is
built of stone, which the. slime and
ooze of generations render dank and
unwholesome, but cannot corrode. King
Edward has introduced modern appli
ances of drainage, ventilation, heating
and lighting Into gloomy old Bucking
ham, and thoroughly renovated It, mak
ing it habitable according to the mod
ern interpretation of that term. Viewed
from the present standpoint of the en
lightened sanitarian, it is a marvel that
any one can llye la these dank Old
World palaces. Queen Wllhelmlna haB
learned her lesson as King Edward
learned his, and if she recovers to apply
lt, will doubtless do so' with a house
cleaning such as Castle Loo has never
before known.
President Roosevelt In recording his
first veto of a pension bill has won the
admiration of every veteran of the
Civil War who believes In maintaining
the honor of the pension roll. The pen
sioner turned down by executive veto
Is Thomas Walter, a Lieutenant In a
Pennsylvania regiment during the Civil
War, but who was, cashiered by sen
tence of a general court-martial for dis
obedience of orders In regard to ploket
duty. The President's estimate in this
case will bear carrying from the news
to the editorial columns of all journals
that stand for justice to old soldiers in
the matter o'f pensions, and Is as fol
lows: To inscribe his -tfame on the pension roll
would be to condone an lnexcusablo offense by
a commissioned officer, to detract from the
high estimate in which the pension roll ought
ever to bo held and to- do injustice to soldiers
now on that roll, especially those under the act
of Juno 27, 1680, where an honorable" discharge
from the service Is a condition precedent to ob
taining a pension.
The Russian Empire has been "sum
moned by Divine Providence to contrib
ute toward the friendly intercourse be
tween the Orient and the Occident."
Thus Is Its presence' in Manchuria ex
plained; thus the cause of the constant
ly increasing "number of Russian sol
diers in that province Is made plain;
thus the fact that It has taken posses
sion of one of the finest deep-water
harbors of the Pacific is Justified. The
Manchurlan occupation scheme was
elaborated by Divine Providence with
Russlaas its agent modest, unassuming
Russia, that longs for world-wide peace
and attests the sincerity of this longing
by Increased activity in its navy-yards
and an aggressive policy in its own Fin
land as well as in- China. The world,
having been duly enlightened upon this
matter, will now heave a sigh of satiSj
faction.
The Missouri farmers are urging their
Governor io protest against any inter
ference with the purchase of horses and
mules by the agents of the British gov
ernment on the ground that this export
trade in horses and mules has been
worth about $7000,000 to Missouri for
the past year. According to British
statistics, the value of the horses ex
ported by the United States to Great
Britain from 1895' to 1901 amounts to the
sum of $35,000,000, while our shipments
of mules to the United Kingdom from
September, 1S99, to December, 1901, ag
gregate In value over $6,000,000. In 1891
the exports of horses from the United
States amounted to less than $1,000,000.
In 1901 the shipments of horses to South
Africa was 37,465; to- Great Britain 22,
698. Since 1895, Great Britain alone
has received from the United States
on the average 50,000 horses annually.
The other day a Hon and bear fight
was witnessed by thousands of specta
tors in a Mexican town. Something1 far
more repulsive than this spectacle was
the recent "Grand American Handicap
Shoot" at Kansas City, whose result
was 13,000 dead pigeons, a butchery of
tame, helpless birds. New York State
prohibits by law such exhibitions.
Women took pact in this Kansas City
match. Such exhibitions are more bar
barous than applying -the "water ciire"
to a Filipino spy or assassin, for the
Filipino brigand and assassin. is a nox
ious animal, while the pigeon, is incapa
ble of mischief.
A. LETTER FROM JUDJGE LOWELL
HI Complaint Afeeut His Defeat fer
Mr. PHrBlik,
PENDLETON. April 2L CTo the Edj
tor.) In yesterday's- issue- of your paper
you pay me, a private citizen, the high
compliment of edltorla? notice and while
I have no desire to question either The
Oregonlah's analysis of my character or
its estimate of. my atandlng and popular
ity in my own county, I think I am Justi
fied in asking the publication ot my letter
to Mr Chamberlain, in ordcx that my true
position upon the governorship matter
may receive the same publicity as you
have given the ,attack upon my motives.
The following is th'e letter in .full:
AprUT 12. 1902.
Hon. George E. Chamberlain. Portland, Or.
Dear Sir: Psrmlt me to extend congratulations
upon, your nomination for the position ot chief
executive ot the state, and to express the hope
that you may triumph at the. polls.
I am, as you know, a Republican, bred In
the faith, and In aeco'rd with the historic prin
ciples of that party. Its candidates, witn the
exception of the nominee for Governor, will
receive my support and vote at the approach--Ins
election. Its platform I fully Indorse'.
The Issue raised, however, upon the Gov
ernorship is not political, but moral, and goes
to the very existence of popular government,
the question thus to be settled at the ballot
box being whether or not the office of Gover
nor of the commonwealth is on article of mer
chandise, which can be bought By money, and
attained by the arts of the political free
booter; I. for one. propose to go on record in th
negative, and shall rote for you. "With assur
ances of high personal regard, I am, respect
fully yours, STEPHEN A. LOWELL.
I know of no other letter of mine to
which your editorial comment could refer,
except ohe of We "tenor written to the
Chairman of the Republican State Central
Committee. I do not think Mr. Matthews
hits published the latter, but If he deslr.es
to do so he has my fullest permission.
STEPHEN, A LOWELL.
It is open to Judge Lowell as to every
other man to take what course In poli
tics he may choose. But the public will
Judge him when he wrfces this kind of
letter. He was a candidate fdr Gover
nor In the primaries of Umatilla. County.
Mr. Furnish beat him five to one, on a
full vote. He now says that Mr. Furnish
is "a political freebooter," and declares
that the tesue is "whether or not the
office of Governor of the commonwealth is
an article of merchandise which can be
bought with money." It Ja for the Re
publicans of Umatilla County to put an
estimate on this estimate of themselves.
It Is apparent, however, from the vote in
the primary there that they do not take
Judge Lowell at his own valuation. He
no doubt i3 a worthy man in many ways
but all, who know him (and all who. do
not) must be. sorry to witness this exhibi
tion of meanness.
Again, his assumption that Mr. Cham
berlain la the pink and perfection of per
sonal and civic virtue does his intelli
gence as little credit as the other as
sumption does credit to his magnanimity,
Mr. Chamberlain Is what he is. He is
merely "a good fellow," who depends on
politics, but docs no official duty thor
oughly, because he Is always -trying to
"make votes" ; and at this- moment he is.
and for a year past he has been, allowing
vice, crime and unlawful Infamies to run
Tampant In Portland though as District
Attorney he has full "power to suppress
them. It Is this vote that Is expected to
contribute to the scheme to make him
Governor. If Judge Lowell doesn't know
these things it Is because he prefers not
to "Know them not to know the "moral
issue" which he says is "raised upon the
governorship."
It is a pity that Judge Lowell has made
this exhibit ot himself. It seems to have
been an unerring judgment. that led the
Republicans of Umatilla County to prefer
another citizen of the county to himself
for Governor, by a vote of five to one.
WAhE AS A'VEnSIFIER.
Samples of Efforts by tbe New Com
missioner of Pensions.
Rochester Post-Express.
Eugene F. Ware, of Kansas, whom
President Roosevelt has selected to suc
ceed H. Clay Evans as Commissioner of
Pensions, Is a bigger .man than his repu
tation. It is safe to say that "IronqulU"
is a name unknown to most readers, yet
under this nom de guerre Eugene F. Ware
has published verses that ought to, and
probably will, withstand a good deal of
the buffeting of time. The "Rhymes"
were first published 10 or 12 years ago,
in Topeka, with every precaution of pri
vacy to keep -them from the notice of
those who would be likeliest to enjoy
them. But they made their way, not
withstanding, by intrinsic force, and have
gone through 10 editions. President
Roosevelt has admired Mr. Ware's poetry
for many years, and he never sets forth on
a hunting expedition without the "Rhymes
of IronqulU" In his grip. Here Is a samplq
of Ware's humorous verse:
A father said unto his hopeful son;
"Who was Ltonldas. my cherished one?"
The boy replied, with words Of ardent nature:
"He was a member of the Legislature."
"How?" asked the parent; then the youngster
salth:
"He got a pass and held her like "grim death."
"Whose pass?- What pass?" the anxious father
cried.
" 'Twos the'r monopoly," the boy replied.
In deference to the public we must state'
That boy has .been an orphan since that date.
There's nothing attenuated about this
humor. It is spontaneous and delightful.
The gem of his work is in his collec
tion of Aesop's fables retold, the "Zephyr
et Canine," which Czar Reed considers
the best humorous verse In the English
language. It Is worthy of preservation in
the most exclusive scrapbook:
Once ft Kansas zephyr strayed
Where a brass-eyed bird-pup played.
And that foolish canine bayed
At that zephyr. In a gay,
Seml-ldlotie way.
Then that zeDhyr. in about
Half a Jiffy, took tha pup.
Tipped him over wrong side up.
Then turned him wrong side out.
And It calmly Journeyed thence
With a barn and string of fence.
HAEC FABULA.
When communities turn loose
Social orders that produce
The disorders of a gale.
Act upon the well-known law;
Face the breeze, but close your Jaw.
It's a rule that will not fall,
If-you bay It, Jn a gay, '
Self-sufficient sort of way.
It will land you, without doubt.
Upside down and wrong side out.
Is it strange that the President should
bestow political honors upon a roan who
can write like this?
Not Principle, bHt Self-interest.
Dallas News.
It Is natural that the Democrats of
Louisiana should vigorously oppose any
concessions to Cuba, since thla would en
able that island to get its sugar into this
country and stll it to the people at a less
price than Louisiana growers now sell at.
But they ought not to try to convince
anyone that their opposition la baded
solely on their natural hatred of the
sugaY trust.
Subsidies Have Failed. "nisewlicre..
Boston Herald.
The plan proposed by the Hanna-Payne
or the Frye shipping subsidy bill Is one
borrowed from the French and Italian
practices ot the past, a practice that in
both of these countriee has proved abso
lutely Ineffective Xor the attainment of
tho desired end.
A Practical Temperance 3TeaHre.
Boston Herald.
Glasgow has banished barmaids, too,
following the example of other cities of
Great Britain. It is in the line of tem
perance and detracts considerably from
the charm of taking a drink.
I RQMAN CATHOLIC MISSIONS.
Chicago Inter-Ocean.
A volume just published at Baltimore
with the sanction of Cardinal Gibbons
contains Information which, while doubt
less well known to Roman Catholics, may
come as something of a surprise to mem
bers of other Christian communions. It is
a history of the Society for the Propagation-
of the Faith, and shows how and by
whom the missionary enterprises of the
Roman Church are sustained.
Most Protestants are probably under
the Impression that these enterprises are
directed, and the revenue for their sup
port collected, by the board or committee
In Rome commonly called "the Congrega
tion ot the Propaganda." This is an er
ror. The propaganda's income does not
exceed $135,000 a year, and this is wholly
I absorbed by its schools and printing-
house. Missionary priests who cannot ob
tain Their living from the people among
whom they labor are supported by various
special associations, of which the Society
fdr the Propagation of the Faith Is the
largest and most widely spread.
This society was organized in Lyons in
1S22 by a dozen persons assembled to hear
a priest describe the progress and the diffi
culties of the Roman Catholic missions
la America. Its beginnings were very
humble, but Its founders persisted in their
worft, and in 1S40 an encyclical from Pope
Gregory XVI commended the society to
all ehurches. From 1S22 to 1900 the society
has collected and distributed no less than
$65,690,017.
France has been the great contributor to
Catholic foreign missions, having given
no less than $42,076,503 of the total. Italy
has given $5,20,135; Germany and Austria,
$S,S62,666; Belgium. $3,701,140; Great Britain
and Ireland. $2,301,764; Holland. $1,167,634;
Canada. Mexico and the West Indies, $1,
143,476; the United States. $1,120,421. and
no other country as much as $1,000,000.
The greatest expenditure $25,932.446 has
been in Asia. In Europe $9,799,834 has been
expended; In Africa, $8,815,953; in Oceanlca,
$6,011,630, and In America. $9,973,916. of
which $5,807,393 was In the United States.
f The missions now maintained in this coun
try are chiefly among the Indians.
The administration of the society, which
sustains but does not seek to direct reli
gious work. Is almost entirely in the hands
of the laity. The division of funds Is
made by agreement between the central
councils of Lyons and Paris. Member
ship is voluntary and Individual, though
members are usually -organized in bands
of 10, each headed by a "promoter."
The .requirements for membership are
dally prayer for the cause, and the giving
of 5 cents each month. The society has no
permanent or invested funds. At the
opening of each year the total collected
during the preceding year is distributed.
Its work depends from y?ar to year upon
the continuing zeal of the faithful.
By these means the society sustains and
helps 15.000 priests, 5000 teaching brothers,
and 45,000 sisters, besides native priests
and helpers a great religious army ex
hibiting the power of systematic charity
when that charity Is supported by faith
In the righteousness of the chosen cause.
LONG OX NATIONAL GOYERXMEXT.
He Sees Reasons for Good Cheer in.
HIS Outlook.
(Secretary of the Navy John D. Long, in
the Congregationalism
So far as I can see, there has been a
steady Improvement In American political
life, and its outlook for the future Is full
of good cheer. There have been few
backward steps and there certainly have
been a great many forward. The man in
political life has kept pace with the prog
ress in all life. His standards of personal
conduct and habit are better than they
were. Our executive officials are men of
first-rate character and ability. Our Rep
resentatives In Congress do not have their
superiors In any other body of men of the
same number. This Is true, not only In
respect of their general ability, their
power of Investigation and expression, but
in their personal character and walk.
Many of them arte men of small means,
but they are above suspicion of purchase
or corruption. They live simply and mod
estlv: IntemDerance is rare, and while par
ty .spirit is sometimes high, they are de
voted to the welfare of their constituen
cies. I have long regarded tne congres
sional Record as a very treasury of In
structive and Informing debate, dealing
exhaustively with the public questions of
the day.
In the civil service of the country there
has been a marked advance. The great
body of clerical places are no longer the
spoils of the victor, secured by political
favor, but got by merit. The result is a
noticeable Increase of efficiency and a still
more marked relief both to the appointing
power and to the Congressman. A Cab
inet officer now, Instead of spending half
his time In putting In or turning out the
members of the clerical force, can devote
himself to the legitimate work of his
office.
Nor have heroism and pluck and daring
lost ground. To be sure, nobody fights a
duel nowadays, but on the sterner battle
fields which demand moral courage there
has been, no falling off. I am thrown a
good deal, of course, among Naval officers,
who, by the way, are certainly a part of
onr political life, and I am especially
struck with the high sense of duty in serv
ice which animates so many of them, and
which, notwithstanding all the little fric
tions that attend every organization from
c military department to a singing school.
Inspires them to the greatest loyalty and
sacrifice in time of emergency. I believe
that they are representative of the per
sonnel of other branches of the Govern
ment. . . . Wealth has increased, but It
has brought with it an Increase of temp
tation to luxurious indulgence and cor
ruption as well as better provision of the
comforts of life for all. As there is good
cheer in looking upon all these advances,
there must also be good cheer In taking
up the burdens and problems which they
bring. It la going to be a long fight yet
before we have the ideal man or the ideal
state. There is enough to make one faint
who looks forward to the tremendous
work to be done, but good cheer helps in
doing it
A merry heart goes all the day,
A sad tires in a mile a,
A Catting Exposure.
Boston Herald.
Seldom has there been witnessed In
either branch of Congrees a more com
plete exposure of the folly of undertaking
to debate a subject of which a man is
ignorant than that contained Jn the re
ply of Senator Blackburn of Kentucky to
Senator Denew of New York, in the Sen
ate debate ot Friday of last week. The re
port sent out from Washington to the
press generally gives little idea of what
was said, as it appears in the Congres
sional Record. The discussion was over
Kentucky politics, and It was provoked
by an attack on the part of Mr. Depew.
It can. hardly be pceslble that his side of
the case- was not stronger than he made
it to. appear. He really did not know any
thing about the subject which he had un
dertaken to invoke, and Mr. Blackburn
made" a humiliating exposure ot Mr. De
pew's ignorance on every point In it that
he had treated.
Abon Ben Adhem.
Lelzh Hunt.
Abou Ben Adhem (may his tribe Increase!)
Awoke one night from a deep dream of peace.
And saw within the moonlight in his room.
MaklnK. it rich and like a Illy In bloom.
An angel writing In a book ot gold:
Exceeding peacehad made- Ben Adhem bold.
And to the presence In tho room he sald(
"What writest thou?" The vision raised it3
head,
And, with a look made of all sweet accord.
Answered. "The names of those who loye tho
Lord."
"And is mine one?" said Abou. "Nay, not so,"
Replied the angel. Abou spoke more low.
But cheerily still; and said, "1 pray thee, then,
Write roe as one that loves his fellow men."
i
The. angel wrote, and vanished The next night
It came again, with a great wakening light.
And showed the names whom love of God had
bless'd,
And, lol Ben Adhem's name led all the rest!
NOTE AND COMMENT.
The handshake
stump.
Is mightier than the
It will now become the Pension Com
missioner's turn to be Ware.
The roar of the sea will soon be echoed
by "the guests at the beach hotels.
Feople who visit the North End shooting
galleries do not get even million-to-ono
shots.
If General Miles doesn't find a repri
mand-in his morning's mail he calls down
his office boy for losing his letters.
A street-car strike In San Francisco,
where all the residence property Is set
on edge, must be something horrible.
Mr. Bryan feeems to be a firm believer
in Washington's theory that every defeat
is but additional training for ultimate vic
tory.
Thus far the railroads have not found
It necessary to run excursions out of Port-
land In order to accommodate the bunco
Both the new Pension Commissioner and
the Secretary of State formerly wrote
poetry. There is -some hope for Alfred
Austin yet.
Santos-Dumonfs first care when he ar-l
rives In St. Louis will be to select a num
ber of good soft spots around the town for
terminal facilities.
Count BonI de Castellane has a son.
and will soon know how It feels to be
touched for a couple of hundred thousand
every month or two.
It will do Kitchener no good to refuse
to send men to confer with the Boers.
The Boers will have the conference, if
they have to capturesthe conferees.
Great consternation was created because
the Russian Minister of Police was killed
by a student. Over here, where students
play football, the mere killing of oe man
would have attracted little attention.
Lord Kelvin, the great English scientist
who is to be entertained by American
scientific societies In New York, Is entitled
to use the following portentous string
of initials after his name. G. C. "V. O..
D. C. L.. LL. D.. M. D., D. Sc, Ph. D
M. A., F. R. S., F. R. S. E. He has been
decorated by nearly all governments. He
is 73 years old, but is still a very lively.
man, fond of a good dinner and a good
Joke, and, unlike most scientific men, not
at all sedentary in his habits. At college
he pulled a good oar and was reckoned a
first-rate musician.
Judge .Pennypacker, of Philadelphia, tells
a story which shows the readiness of the
Pennsylvania Dutchman to obey those in
authority: In 1S61 Sheridan, under orders.
burned every barn from a valley above I
Staunton to a certain point Deiow Win
chester. A band of angry rebels followed,
this raid, watching for a chance to picki
up any stragglers. Among others who fell!
into their hands was a little Pennsylvania!
Dutchman, who quietly turned to his cap
tors and Inquired: "Vat you fellows goir
to do mlt me?" The reply came short and
sharo. "Hanjr you." "Veil." he sald.l
meekly, "vatever is de rule." His good-
natured reply threw the Confederates intol
a roar of laughter and saved his life.
An American contractor sought a fat
contract In Russia, but after trying by aH
ordinary means to secure t was about to
give it up when one more Idea occurred.
One fine morning he made a friendly cau
on the personage who had the work In
charge. He carried a large umbrella, and
the Rusisan remarked that on such a
charming day there was little ocacslon for
protection of that kind. The American
shot a keen glance at the Muscovite and
said: "I will bet 100,000 rubles that rain
w'ill be falling heavily inside half an
hour." His offer was accepted, and he
lost, for the weather remained beautiful
for several days. But he got the contract,
which netted him vastly more than tha
amount of the bet.
The Seed-Dlstrlbutlns Abuse.
Indianapolis News.
When Is Congress to pitf a stop to the
farce of sending out packages of seeds to
the constituents of members? What was
at first Intended to be an aid to agricul
ture in supplying farmers '"vjth new varie
ties of seeds has been resolved into, a
vote-getting scheme. If Congressmen are
nrmitiiri tn spnrt nnt nackaces of seeds
by the carload, why may they not bell
allowed a distribution of rakes, hoes, plows 11
nnd threshlnsr machines? fl
A Conscienceless Trust.
Utlca Observer.
The beef trust has marched into our-
homes and attacked the breakfasts of tno
well-to-do and the dinners of tho poor.
On the wav It has stopped to wreak ruin
on snmo who are slow or reluctant
to do Its bidding, and to demonstrate that
its machinery Is constructed to work ven
geance as well as accomplish robbery.
Small Loail by Comparison.
New York World.
What a protesting roar will rise In Brit.
aln if the ministry carries out its ruraoreu
rrtwt nt nnttlmr a tariff upon grain and
flour! But a duty of 4 per cent, such as !
London rears aoes not "- " '""'
tn ATTiorirans.' who meekly pay 3o per cent
on furniture. 60 per cent on clothing and
on raw 6ugar 9o per cent.
PIjEASAXTIUES OF PAItAGKAPHERS
A Raise. Pres3 Agent The star says she
wants a raise. Manager All right. Tell her
I'll add halt an inch to the height ot tha
letters In her name on the programme.
Judge.
Ills occupation. Asked by a Justice to giva
an account of himself, a Georgia darky r$
iilled: "I des a po" ol nigger, suh. votiijr
aroun" fer a hones' Hvla !" Atlanta Consti
tution. Didn't Glvo It. "Willie, did you give John,
ny Smith a black pyc?" "No, ma'am." "Ar
you sure?" "Yes. ma'am. He nlreaJy had
the eye, an I Jest blacked it for him." Chi.
cago Post.
Llteraticus Have you read about the re.
cent discovery by a" noted explorer of "Tha
Missing Links?" Edgar Golfly N'o; what club
Is supposed to have played on them? Chicago
Dally News.
Little Bertie had been taught not to ask
for anything at meals. One clay poor Bertie
had been forgotten, when he pathetically In
quired: "Do little boys get to heaven when
they are starved to death?" TitfBlts.
An Opening for Revenge. Harry Harriet,
don't you be so- haughty with those people
next door. Harriet Why not? Harry First
thing you know they'll offer cook a dollar
more and get her away from us. Puck.
Easily Pleased. The Host I'm more than
sorry. Colonel, but you know I never havo
wine on my table when my children are pres
ent. The Colonel No offense, sir I'd Just aa
soon have whisky and water. Brooklyn Life
The Lesser Evil. Ascum (after the perform
ance I shouldn't think you'd care 'to tak
part In amateur theatricals. Slnnickson (en
of the cast) I don't, but If I didn't, I'd prob
ably have to sit up In the audience. Philadel-t
phla Press.
A Blessing In Dlgnl"e. "I was so sorry to
hear a fox had been stealing your poultry
again. How unfortunate you are!" "Oh, wa
can bear It, Miss, thank you kindly. You see,
the Slophlre Hunt country comes up to our
farm on one side, and the Jowlers on tbe
other, so we make a claim on both and they
each pay for tho old hens. Punch.
t