THE MORNING OUEGONIAN, M"ONDAY, OCTOBER 21, 1901
THE LAW OF LIBERTY
J'eriox delivered by the rev.
ROBERT-aPIiEAlf.
Freedom Is the Povrer to 'Be and to
- Do the Very Best That
." Is in .Man.
Rev. Robert McLean, of the Third Pres
byterian Church, preached last Bight on
The Law'of Liberty." His text "was from
iPsalm cxlx:45, "And I will -walk at lib
erty hecaufi I keep thy precepts." He
teaid In part:
"The declaration that man is endowed
with certain inalienable rights, among
-which are life, liberty and the pursuit of
happiness, is a proposition that is no
longer disputed among civilized peoples.
The love of liberty is inherent; the de
mand for it is becoming universal. There
is no soul in the -world in "which it is
dead. The nihilist of Russia, -whose very
"breath of life Is prayer for the -violent
death of those n authority, the anarch
ist, "who dreams only of the torch and
toiife, are but the incarnations of disor
dered minds reaching after this demand
of the human soul. That their -way Is
through blood, simply tells the story of
their enslavement to a master -who has
"blinded their eyes to the true -way of
liberty. Seeking liberty, they are -willing
slaves, and know it not.
"Over against the love of liberty, its
very antithesis, Js the love of power, over
riding and "usurping every right of man.
It Is seen In the passion for office in
church. In fraternal organizations, in
state. It has marked the pathway of hu
,man history in blood and strewn the
world with the ruins of empires. It is the
same spirit, born of the enemy of God and
man, whether it be the seeker after some
petty office In society, or the King who
In Ambition grasps the reins of empire.
Between the two there is an unending con
flict. One or the other must perish; which
one, faith does not hesitate to declare.
"When men learn what is true liberty, then
the forces will unite against common foe.
"It becomes necessary to define liberty.
We may define it as the freedom, and the
power to be and, do the very best that is
in man. A man being or doing anything
that liurts hl6 neighbor is not a free man.
liberty is not turning a. man loose; It is
binding hjm to law, the law that will keep
him to his own and his neighbor's best.
In France, the people groaned under the
burden of their servitude. We will be
tree!" they cried, and breaking down all
barriers, overturning all authority, they
inaugurated a reign of terror. In this they
were less free than before, because in
seeking their own rights they did not re
gard the rights of others. It has been
well said that 'morals must be the boun
dary line of liberty. When one man's
liberty touches the boundary of another's
right, then the first man's liberty ends.
To secure the highest freedom a man
must be under law. The way to perfect
liberty is through the most perfect sub
mission to a perfect law. The purpose of
all law is the formation of character. The
law that restrains the bloody Instincts or
the anarchist Is for his good. The law
that restrains the tendency of any man to
do evil Is a helper towards that man's
freedom. We hear a great deal of talic
about 'personal liberty.' In the sense in
which it is used there is not, cannot be
any such thing; law cannot recognize any
such thing in this sense. The law must
hind a man whenever his so-called free
dom Injures another man. The state has
no right to license one man to do for his
gain what will Injure another. The most
perfect of human laws, following the di
vine, recognize difference in gifts .ana
powers, and make provision for the pro
tection of the weak from the power of
the strong. We must go farther and recog
nize the difference in the strength of
tempter and tempted, and stand for the
Xreedom of the weaker. No state, no so
.clety, has a right to leave at liberty any
man -who injures by his freedom that state
or society or any member thereof. It is
not difficult to Illustrate the ways In
which this law of human liberty is vio
lated. Gambling breeds dishonesty, Idle
ness and other vices. It not only injures
the gambler, but it robs and degrades hts
family; robs individuals and lowers the
.moral tone of society. In licensing or
permitting the evil, the rest of society
are deprived of the liberty to be and do
their best,
"The same may be said of the drink evil.
Men honestly differ as to the best methoa
of dealing with this crime against human
ity. It has long been a hotly disputed
question as to whether the prohibition of
the liquor traffic would help men toward
Ireedom from Its slavery. We are told,
and rightly, perhaps, that you cannot
make men moral by legal enactments. 1
,have no sympathy with those who de
pend upon such measures alone for the
liberation of society from moral evils.
But there is another side to the question,
a side that it will be the part of wisdom
to consider. If a tender vouncr tree is
broken down, a bandage will not make a
strong tree of It; but a bandage will help
it until the vital forces from within shall
heal the wound and give it strength,
beauty and symmetry once more. Th
.etate owes it to the. broken tree of fallen
, manhood to give it the protecting and
streagthenlng bandage of such laws as
shall make it absolutely Impossible tor
any man to live off any other man's right
to be a full man. The bandage must be
put about the weak till such time as We
growth of character from within shall
make him able to stand the storm of
'temptation by the inherent force of that
character.
"The true reformation must come from
within; and it is only as we grow in purity
of heart that we grow in capacity ror
freedom. The thief restrained by law is
a thief still, but he is not so harmful
either to himself or to society as when
unrestrained. The thief converted is a
thief destroyed, and a man born into the
world. The ferocious savage and mur
derer Africander was just as much a
murderer when he was a fugitive with a
price on his head as when at the fullest
personal liberty. But when the great mis
sionary, Moffat, brought him back a pris
oner to the love of Christ, then he was
truly a free man, free from the old bon
dage of sin and murderous instincts.
"Jesus Christ said: 'If the Son shall
make you free, ye shalj be free indeed.'
The Jews angrily resented the Imputation
that they were slaves; but he who thrtt
day stood before them was the great Llb
erator from the bondage of sin. This
freedom he gave by putting them under a
higher law. Of old, God put bounds be
yond which no man could pass and live.
Those bounds were until the fullness of
"time when he should come who would
himself enter Into them and a new char
acter should be born. Now he puts no
bounds, but stands and cries: 'Blessed
are the pure in heart, for they shall see
God.' They have liberty to entjer Into
his presence where there is fullness of joy.
The Christian who lacks this purity or
heart, or who persistently transgresses
any law of God is not free. He is under
the bondage of sin, and there is no song
in his life. Nay, more than this, such a
soul is drifting farther and farther from
life. Each restraint thrown off sends
that soul deeper and deeper Into the bon
dage that Is eternal. The tendency of the
soul will decide its destiny. What the
man is comes to the surface; and noth
ing more Is needed to decide his place
in the eternal kingdom.
"A man may be on the throne and yet
e a slave. Christ stood before Pilate,
Jnet not Pilate, the Judge, but Christ, the
prisoner, was the freest man there. Paul
stood before Felix, but It was the ruler,
Tiot the prisoner, who trembled in his
bondage. This, then, is the lesson of the
text, a lesson for every seeker after lib
erty, that they only walk at liberty who
keep the law of God."
"A CHEAP RELIGIOX."
The Rev. A. G. Miller Says That It
Is Jfot Current in Heaven.
The Rev. A. G. Miller, acting pastor,
preached yesterday, morning in the Second
Baptist Church, East Side, on "A Cheap
Religion." He said In part:
"A religion that costs nothing is worth
nothing. Salvation is free by God's gift,
but it costs the man everything that is
ungodly, Money is the last thing we give
to God; yet many people won't give even
that. Tou have all heard of Brother
Stuckfast. of Little Flock Church, of Pre
destination Corners, the Rev. I. Gab, pas
tor, who was so Indignant when a sub
scription paper was presented to him.
that he declared that he had been a
member of that church 40 years and it
had .never cost him a cent. I tell you if a
man has the money to give he had bet
ter send a dollar along with his amen,
or the latter won't be heard In heaven.
It seems as if religion has become a fag
end affair with many people, who give
the unusable, or cast-off to God, the
blemished offerings, whether of heart,
brain, time, or substance, when God de
mands the best and makes that demand
for man's benefit.
"Mix up some creed, give formal serv
ice, and the contents of a volume of mod
ernized Oriental occultism, purchasable
for ?1 50, and you have a fair sample or
Major A. E. Kimball.
much of the religion of our day, or rather
what passes for religion in this world.
There Is one religion in this world God's
kind and there is just as much of that
as there is of Christ in men's hearts and
lives. It is easy and cheap for some peo
ple to play at humanltarianlsm, assault
the church, call the laws of God Inhuman
and -cruel, demand wide-open divorce and
generally play to the grandstand, but it
is too cheap to get them to heaVen, or i
save a soul from sin
"Oh. this miserable wooden, hay and
stubble business. The child weeps when
his house of blocks, beautiful and archi
tecturally grand to him. Is ruthlessly de
stroyed by his playmate. The youth is
sick with despair when the object of his
adoration rejects him. The man curses
when financial ruin engulfsv him, or his
political ambitions are swept away In
the flood of ballots, but oh, what agony,
weeping, walling and gnashing of teeth
when creedal, formal, skin-deep rational
Ism, cheap religion, hears its doom: 'De
part. I never knew you.'
"It is the sheep-wool on the wolfs
back, the -whitewashed sepulchre, the gilt
plating, the veneer, the outside of the
cup and platter, and it is not current in
heaven. It costs to succeed In business.
In education, In politics, in war, and It '
costs in religion, too. You must pay over
yourself into the hands of God. Put self
Into religion and take out a new heart,
heavenly wisdom, a resurrection body, a
new self."
THEY WERE FARMERS.
But Knew Enough to Confound
Mayor Howe's Double.
After two farmers from a small town
near Seattle had lunch yesterday In a
Washington-street restaurant, they saun
tered on the sidewalk and concluded to
light cigars they had brought with them,
but found they did not have a match.
So they walked Into a cigar store and
vainly tried to light their cigars at the
lamp of an Incandescent light until some
one took pity on them and offered
matches. x
T ain't used to them things up our
way," explained one visitor apologet
ically. The other farmer, an individual
with a chin beard that a goat might
envy, strolled outside and then told his
companion that they might as well see
the city. Just then a Washington-street
trolley car bowled along, jammed with
humanity bound for the baseball games.
Standing room was at a premium and
people attached themselves to that car
In all sorts of positions. The visitors
were visibly Impressed. f
"That car Is sort of pretty crowded,
ain't it?" asked a young man stand
ing by.
"It's wonderful how many people go to
church in this city," he remarked, later
on.
"Yes, sir." said one of the visitors, fur
ther impressed. "Do you live here, young
man?"
"I'm the Mayor of this city," said the
young man, calmly, lighting a fresh
cigar. The visitors loooked at him with
awe.
"Rather young, ain't he?" said one vis
itor, ' in a stage whisper. The alleged
Mayor was a smooth-shaven young man,
with irreproachable shoes and raiment,
and he wore a quantity of glittering jew
elry. He smoked on. Just then two
other cars passed, each laden with hu
manity as before. Every man on board
was smiling and happy, and smokers were
numerous. "
"Young man, are all them folks goin'
t' church on them kyers?" asked one of
the farmers, suspiciously.
"All to church," said the allleged
Mayor, unblushingly. A whispered con
versation ensued between the farmers,
and one of them remarked in severe
tones:
"Young man, If all them folks are
goln t' church, accordln to you, you
must be a powerful liar. An' I don't
believe you are the Mayor of this city.
Fer I happen t know that Mayor Rowe
ain't a liar. Come 'long, John."
RESULTS OF GOLF CONTESTS
Knock-Out Competition Progressing
at "Waverly Club.
The knock-out contests In the compe
tition at the Waverly Golf Club showed
excellent play Saturday and yesterday.
The scores:
Tom Kerr beat J. AVesley Ladd.
Captain Voorheesbeat Mr. "Whldden.
Rev. Dr. Morrison beat Jonathan Bourne, Jr.
C. W. Lawrence beat T. Scott Brooke.
W. J. Burns beat Captain Langutt.
Mr. Walker beat A. L. Mills.
P. B. Gifford beat L. K. "Wheeler.
Captain Goodin beat J. W. Rankin.
H. B. Dickson beat A. C. Berry.
The ladles' competition resulted as fol
lows: Urs. Burns beat Miss Lewis.
Miss Lanyon beat Miss Burns.
Mrs. Koehler beat Mrs. McMaater. ,
Miss Slbson, a bye.
Miss King, a bye.
Mrs. N. E. Ayer beat Mrs. Blnell.
Miss E. V. Falling, a bye.
Mrs. Brewster beat Mrs. Ainsworth.
IF IT'S A "GARLAND,"
That's all you need to know about a stove
I or range.
SALVATION SLUM WORK
" 4
: J
COLOXEL FRENCH TELLS OF METH
ODS EMPLOYED BY THE ARMY.
Banking Officer of Pnciflc Goast Di
vision Is in Portland Planning:
to Extend Army Work.'
Doubters have sneered at the work of
the Salvation Army and expressed the
belief that little or no actual lasting good
Is being accomplished by them. If the
skeptics could have a brief half-hour chat
with Lieutenant-Colonel George French
and hear the plain, unvarnished story of
a part of the work the army is doing,
they would become supporters of a sys
tem that has developed as has no other
religious movement in the memory of Hv-
PROMINENT SALVATION ARMY LEADERS.
Mrs. A. E. Kimball.
V -
ing men. Colonel French is in charge of
the Pacific Coast division of the army
work, and in addition has charge of the
work in the Hawaiian Islands. He Is now
In Portland planning the Winter campaign
for the Northwest. Yesterday he spoke
at three meetings held At the Salvation
Army Hall on First street.
In conversation or in public speaking
Colonel French Is fluent, forcible and ln-
terestlng. He deplores the generally ac
cepiea uener mat tne religion 01 tne army
Is emotional rather than logical, and he
denies it At each of the meetings yes
terday he spoke 'to a large audience, and
from the vast fund of his experiences
drew Incidents that made the addresses
of more than usual Interest, n discuss
ing the work of the army with an Ore
gonian reporter before yesterday after
noon's meeting Colonel French said:
"We are preparing to enlarge the scope
of our work in the Northwest in many
ways. For one, there will be announced
during the coming week the opening of a
men's shelter with 40 beds. We have
found the establishment of such institu
tions have not only filled a decided want,
but in many Instances have become self
sustaining almost from the start. There
Is great need in the large cities for cheap
accommodations that will keep the float-
Ing population, or that part of it made
up of honest worklngmen who are out of
employment and funds, away from the
Influences of the saloons. The army has
similar Institutions In operation In every
large city where it has gained a foot
hold. "That Is but one of the many things we
are planning and which will be definitely
determined upon before I leave Portland.
There Is a lamentable misunderstanding
on the part of the people regarding ti;a
methods and results of Salvation Army
work, and particularly that part of It
that reaches the slums of the great cities.
We have been accused of appealing to
the emotions to gain our converts. Our
methods for getting the people to at
tend our meetings have been censured.
Yet we have found them decidedly prac
tical. The army's continued existence
for so many years, and the great growth
that has come with Its development, are
potent arguments that the gospel spread
by the army workers takes deep root and
lasts. Perhaps It will surprise you when
I say that very few of our audiences come
from the slums.' They will not come to
us, and we have to go to them. The slum
work is usually in charge of two Salva
tion Army girls, and, if necessary, assist
ants are assigned them.
"They do not go about preaching re
ligion, but do the same work that is be
ing done by the college settlement-houses.
In time they come to know the poverty
stricken people of "the district, and in
helping them In many ways earn their
friendship and their confidence. While
religion is ever foremost in their own
lives, In helping others temporal needs
are relieved before spiritual. Wherever
we find deserving persons, who appreciate
and need assistance, we give "it to them.
You would be surprised to know the peo
ple of the slums. They are not vicious,
nor have they Inherited or acquired lean
ings to vice and crime.
"Crime has always and wilr always be
associated with the section of a city given
over to the very poor. In our slum work
we have found the old adage that an
ounce of prevention is worth a pound of
cure is the key-note to the situation. And
it is the ounce of prevention that we are
trying to administer. The streets and al
leys of the slum districts are the kinder
gartens of vice and crime, and many chil
dren are left unprotected during the day
while the mother is earning the miserable
pittance that must provide for the scanty
dally bread. If we can, we place the
children In school, and when the parents
are out of work, we find it for them.
"I have a case in mind that will aptly
serve to show the practical workings of
the army. A man and his wife had
drifted to the slums when continued mis
fortune had required a succession of
changes and reduction of living expenses.
They had formerly been comfortably well
of, and felt the reverses keenly. Above
all else, the husband and father was anx
ious to get another foothold, and If pos
sible to regain his position in the world
for himself and family. Money was pro
vided to pay the family's expenses to
the army colony In California, A 10-acre
tract of land was turned over to him, and
the implements necessary to work the
land were provided. During the period
preceding the first crop, provisions and
other necessaries 'were furnished him and
charged to his account. An additional
charge of 10 per cent to defray the ex
penses of the colony's maintenance was
also debited to him.
"He is now prosperous and . nearly out
of debt. Some day he will own that farm,
and with good fortune will add to It until
his holdings will insure him a comfort
able income for the remainder of his days,
and a legacy for his children. The latter
are being educated in the colony schools
and are growing up to be healthy, men
tally and physically. Had they remained
In the slums, their future Is uncertain.
The father might have recouped his losses
and been again able to give them the
surroundings he desired. On the other
hand, he might not, and they would have
grown up ignorant and in constant con
tact with the influences of the streets and
alleys. You cannot call that an emotional
religion, canyou? It is quite reasonable
to predict that when he has completed the
payments on his farm apd Is free from
obligations to the army that he will con
tinue a religious man and will raise his
children to" follow the teachings of the
Master.
"That is our slum work. In London,
New York, Chicago, San Francisco, and
the cities of lesser population, we are do
ing the same work. The army has estab
lished two colonies, one In Colorado and
one in California, and both have been suc
cessful. As the needs grow; other tracts
of, land will be bought and men and
women made self-supporting In the same
manner. Above all, the army work is hu
manitarian. We seek to help the people,
and, after all, that is the essence of re
ligion." Colonel French has been in the Salva
tion Army since 1S81. He joined at the
age of 19, at Bristol, England, and has
gone through all grades of officershlp from
cadet to the important rank he now holds.
For several years Colonel French had
charge of the army work in Holland, and
instituted the first Salvation Army social
colony In the City of Amsterdam. The
colonel has been In charge of all the Im
portant divisions of the army in the United
States since, coming to this country. Pre
vious to coming to the Pacific Coast he
was stationed in Chicago. Colonel French
Is noted for his ability to organize new
oooooo-
Colonel George F.rench.
--
corps and enthuse established ones. He
will be In Portland for several days yet In
consultation with representatives from the
different stations of the North Pacific di
vision. BOX STALLS FOR CAR HOGS.
Suggestion Thnt Street Railway
Companies Build Them.
The protests of Indignant women, old
and young, and a "Satisfied Old Woman"
have not settled the disposition to be
made of the "rear platform" question
which is still under consideration by diff
erent street railway companies. Their
representatives state that this is the
greatest city for platform-riders that
they have any knowledge of, and they are
devising ways and means for overcoming
this. One company Is building larger
platforms on some cars as an experi
ment, and It has been suggested that cars
with box stalls be provided for platform
riders, where they can enjoy the air and
the pleasures of standing up, without
being in the way of persons getting on
and off.
Some people imagine that the agita
tion of this question is a scheme to in
terfere with the rights of passengers who
prefer the platform to the inside of the
car, and who want to smoke while trav
eling on the cars. There .is nothing of
this kind Intended. Even the women do
not wish to Interfere with the liberties
of the traveling public In these respects.
They are willing to submit to their share
of Inconvenience and annoyance when
the t cars are crowded, but what every
one does object to is selfish, thought
less people getting in the way of passen
gers getting .into or out of the cars a
nuisance which neither the public nor the
street-car companies ought to be expected
to tolerate.
The exercise of a little common sense
and common politeness would end this
nuisance, but as has been remarked,
common sense is one of the most uncom
mon of all things and the commonest
kind of politeness is unknown in the
make-up of the "rear platform hog." So
it will probably be necessary for the
management of the roads to make and
enforce rules to prevent their patrons
from being Imposed upon.
ROAD. TO St. HELENS MINE
Only Few Miles to Be Finished, and
- the Work Goes on Rapidly.
Ben Holladay, Jr., and W. L. Pater
son returned Saturday from a week's
visit to the St. Helens Mining District,
going over the New Castle Rock wagon
route. Messrs. Holladay and Paterson
found M. J Studebaker, chairman of the
County Board of Cowlitz noimtv umrir.
ing a largo gang of men upon the last
mile of the road in Cowlitz County, while
Messrs. Beighle. Lane, Peterson and
Johnson were pushing the work upon
the Spirit Lake side of the road, leaving
but about three miles of Intervening
space to build, which will soon be fin
ished. The outside world will then be in
a position to do business with St. Hel
ens district for the first time, with some
degree of comfort and facility. The road
will. be without grades, and heavy ore
wagons can be used from the lake to
Castle Rock. Twenty miles of this road
have been finished in splendid shape.
Good grading and splendid bridges are
being put in as required, a very fine one
having been constructed across the Mid
dle Toutle River.
The distance from Castle Rock to Spirit
Lake is 40 miles. Boats have already
been contracted for to be put in service
on the lake as sooon as the road shall
have been finished. The road Is already
being used to some, extent.
BLAMED A FOOTPAD.
R. H.'Stanley Hns a Remote Idea He
Was Held Up.
R. H. Stanley, 101 North Ninth street,
made a confused complaint to the police
last night that he had been held up by an
unknown highwayman near his home. He
was not able to give a coherent account of
the meeting with the footpad and did not
know the amount of money he lost.
Northwestern People In New York.
NEW YORK. Oct. 20. The following
Northwest' people are at New York hotels:
From Portland J. Simon, at the Hoff
man; E. D. Connell and wife, Miss J. Con
nell, at the Astor.
From Tacpma R. H. Hyde, at the Nor
mandie; D. Gross and wife, at the Belve
dere. From La Grande W. Bubers, at the
Broadway Central.
From Seattle J. Anderson, H. Olsen, at
the Cosmopolitan.
The Price of Activity.
" Dalles Chronicle.
Edward Everett Young, of the Baker
City Republican, has1 been censured more
or less for having taken the pains to
ascertain the views of the? members of
the Or.egon Legislature as to the wisdom
of calling an extra session to make an
appropriation for the Lewis and Clark
Centennial; hut the East Oregonlan very
pertinently remarks that Mr. Young is
almost the only man in the state who has
manifested sufficient energy in the matter
to make a mistake.
CARNIVAL THE BESf EVER
LARGE PORTION OF THE SUBSIDY
WILL BE RETURNED.
Annual Horse Show and Military
Tournament Will Probably Be
Instituted in Future Years.
At the meeting of the Carnival commit
tee to be held tonight, some definite
statements will be made of the financial
receipts, and the total attendance. Enough-
is already known to justify the state
ment that it is the most successful ex
position ever held in Portland, and a
goodly proportion of the subsidy will be
returned to the subscribers.
In point of attendance the largest
crowds have been present ever handled
in the Northwest by any amusement en
terprise. Out of the success of two of
the features will come annual like events
that will attract attention all over the
Northwest. The military tournament for
next year will be assured In the near
future. If local military men can have
their way in the matter.. The idea is to
make it an event in which companies
from the National Guard of any state
will be eligible, and prizes and trophies
for the different events will be provided.
Both officers, and men are enthusiastic,
and commanders of out-of-town compan
ies have given assurance that their men
will be present at the next tournament,
If one will be held.
The success of the horse show , has
started a movement for an annual exhibi
tion, to be held In connection with the
Carnival. There Is a large number of
blood horses In Portland and vicinity,
and new importations from the famous
stock farms of the East and West will
continue to arrive. Other cities count the
annual horse show the social event of
the year, and It will probably occupy a
similar position here.
The programmes which have been pro
vided by the management have been
more expensive than in previous years,
but have justified the additional outlay In
increased drawing powers. The officers
of the Carnival committee were: General
Owen Summers, president; I. N. Flelsch
ner, vice-president; A. B. Steinbach,
treasurer; J. D. Mann, secretary; A. N.
Gambell. assistant secretary-
The members of the committee were:
J. F. Batchelder, J. F. Cordray, Leon
HIrsch. H. C. Campbell, A. H. Devers,
R. J. Holmes. D. Soils Cohen, E. S. Ed
wards. Fletcher Linn, L. D. Cole, C. S.
Hellig. C. H. Markham H. D. Rams
dell. B. B. Rich, Ben Selling, George W.
Simmons, Sol Blumauer, John Vince, O.
A. Whitemore. H. C. Wortman, Dom J.
Zan. C. T. Belcher, Julius L. Meier.
Yesterday afternoon a benefit , was
given to SIgnor DeCaprlo and his band,
whose music has been a feature of the
Carnival. The programme was In the na
ture of a sacred concert, and there was
a large attendance of music-lovers.
FOXY FOOTPADS FEDERATION
Being the-Libretto of a Comic Opera
Not Yet Staged.
Words by the Police Laureate.
Music by Hector Sherbet.
In one act and several convulsions.
All rights reserved. Including the right to
kick.
THE CHARACTERS.
!!Sold"Up" Harr' A bold highwayman
"Thirty-Cent" Bill His Trusty Lieutenant
Will Searchem One of the Gang
M. A. Orrow One of the victims
Deducer Dick Who has a clew
Scene Headquarters of the Federation of
Foxy Footpads.
Curtain rises upon the chorus, merrily
cavorting about the stage, with masked
faces, waving revolvers and slungshots,
as they sing:
We are robbers bold, as you may behold.
With our little trusty gun, sir.
We never worked, and we never will.
But we needs must have our fun, sir.
So we sally forth when the day is done
And hide in secluded places
Till we yell hands up to the man who comes
And put him through his paces. y
CHORUS.
You might as well stand and deliver,
For we never will argue the case
Cold gun steel will give you a shiver
And we'll poke It right Into your face.
We haven't the time for excuses,
As listeners we're not a big hit.
If you want to make plaint of abuses
A policeman will listen to It.
Enter "Hold-up" Harry and Will
Searchem:
Harry "Odsbodkin! gadzooks! and also
gosh hang. Fellows, wat's doln'?"
Chorus "Not a t'lng, noble chief."
Harry "Wafell, why don't youse guys
smoke up. Dy'e t'ink I'm de main
squeeze with de Federation of Foxy
Footpads fer nuttin'? You'se'll have to
graft strong, or we'll all have to go to
work."
Chorus "Wat's that! Never! Anything
else?"
Harry "I'm sxpectln a 'rookie here,
and in de meantime I'm goln to sing,
and if you'se wise ones try to gimme dd
sneak act I'll fine ye ten."
Advances to the footlights and the man
In the gallery turns on the extra battery
of calciums.
I'm chief of dls yer band.
And I ain't no sreenle hand
In separatln' suckers from der cash. ,
If I meets ye in de night.
Don't ye make no bluff ter fight,
Fer somethln' always happens to de rash.
' We're not a-goln' ter shoot
If ye runs when we say ocoot,
And previously you'se handed out yer dough
It's a pill you'll hev ter take,
Dere's no sugar in de wake.
But it's de same w'at we give to Mayor Rowe.
Enter "Thirty-Cent" Bill with features
aglow with rapturous joy. He extends the
welcome mit to the chief, and nods to the
gang then he sings:
Of all the fun I've ever had.
And on fun I've not been shy.
The night a robber, bad and bold.
Held upHlzzoner for his gold.l
And made his blood run rather cold.
Made me most exceedln' glad.
' For I'm the one that did the trick
And right cleverly 'twas done,
Hlzoner's hands went In the air.
For minutes five he held 'em there.
Although he said It wasn't fair.
You bet I made 'em stick.
"Thirty-Cent Bill to "Hold-up Harry
"M. A. Orrow, who was held up by one
of the staff, with a gentleman friend, is
waiting outside to see you."
"Show 'em in, maybe dey want to give
us some dough we overlooked."
Enter M. A. Orrow and "Deducer"
Dick, the latter disguised as an actor.
M. A Orrow:
Kind sirs. I pray you listen
To the story I'll relate;
Perhaps your hearts will soften
And take pity on my fate.
The money you may keep, sirs,
'Tts the watch I value high.
It has memories, not of pawnshops,
But the sort that dim your eye.
Won't you let me have It back, sir?
Won't you please, oh. pretty please?
See, I'm bending on my knees, sir.
And I tease, and tease, and tease.
Chorus by the bandit band:
Ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!
Well, what do you think o' that?
Ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!
Why, he's talking through his hat.
At this the supplicant becomes indig
nant, defiant and altogether quarrelsome.
Shaking his fist at the chief he says:
"Gosh hang you, anyway. You can
keep the blamed thing. But you didn't
make me hold up my hands."
"Thirty-Cent" Bill "Didn't hold up
your hands? Wat yer glvln us? Ye bet
yer did."
"I did nothing of the sort, sir; nothing
of the sort."
"Nothing of the sort be hanged. Ye
did and yer know yer did. Why, dang
you (In a voice similar to that of Sarah
Bernhardt when she tears passion to
tatters) I'll be revenged. I'll learn you
to come here glvln' the He to a guy wot
-Wv Its CZX S
trTl I MjK fC "SfciMl '
V V 1H-
m
TO THE MAN
S5e?
OOK yourself squarely in the face and see
if you are not halt ashamed to be without
Ivory Soap in your house. Worse than this,
J your wife is without it. It is bad enough
-TtHtI
for a man, though a man often doesn't care how
his comfort is mis-spelled. But a woman misses all
these little helps to housekeeping. And Ivory Soap
is one; its great potency makes it actually cheaper
than vellow soao for ecneral work. It floats.
comnflMT tat. ar thi
knows his business. For that aass you
gave me I'll hold you up again before
the month Is out."
During the scene "Deducer" Dick has
been measuring -window sills, gathering
up cigarette ashes, and industriously
working on other clews. Throwing back
the lapel of his coat, his official badge
Is disclosed, and he declares the robber
rogues under arrest. The merry ha ha
reverberates as Dick steps forward to do
his little stunt:
Behold! I've pinched the bunch
Pinched the bunch.
And I did It on a hunch
On a hunch!
Now, I guess they'll call me clever.
I'm the best deducer ever
,In the line of my endeavor;
I have got 'em on the run.
I have caught the thieves right In it.
And I did it In a. minute
Other people may have been IT,
But Just now I take the bun.
During the rendition the foxy footpads
surround the singer, and as he finished,
they fell upon him and stripped him.
even of the emblem of his authority.
Then he was cast into outer darkness
with a dull, sickening thud.
M. A. Orrow was approached by "Hold
up" Harry, who handed a roll of parch
ment, saying.
The Foxy Footpads' Federation has passed
dese few lines wot we want to have de public
put next to. We are much obliged to de per
llce fer der magnificent slowness. If we be
let alone we will go along makln' a peacerble
llvln' and have no kick. But de citizens will
hev to carry more coin or we quits, and goes
into politics. See? Dls performance closes
here, and it's up to you to exit. Git out!
As the visitor departs, the chorus sings:
You might as well stand and deliver.
For we never will argue the case
Cold gun steel will give you a shiver.
And we'll poke it right Into your face.
We haven't the time for excuses,
As listeners we are not a 'big hit.
If you want to make plaint of abuses,
A policeman will listen to it.
CURTAIN.
THE VISAYAN ISLANDS.
Their Physical and Economic Char
acteristics. WASHINGTON, Oct. 16. From official
material compiled In the Division of
Insular Affairs, War Department, the
following abstract has been prepared
concerning the Visayan Island?, their
physical and economic characteristics
and local civil governments. The "VIs
ayas, one of the four constituent insular
groups of the Philippine Archipelago, oc
cupy a central position in the American
possessions in Eastern Asia, having Lu
zon on the north, the Pacific- Ocyan on
the cast, Mindanao on the south, and
Mlndoro and Palawan and the intervening
Mlndoro and Sulu Seas on the "west.
With the exception of Samar, the Vis
ayan Islands have been placed under
American Civil Government according to
the terms of the "Provincial Organiza
tion Act of February 6, 1901." From this
list the provinces of Cebu and Bohol
have been returned to military control.
Island and province. Area. Population.
Bohol 1.613
Z60.U00
518,032
270.401
23,069
231,512
140,-m
Cebu 1.782
Leyte 4,214
Masbate 1.732
Negros
Occidental 3,112
Oriental 1.743
Panay
Antique 1.340
Caplz 1.661
Ilo Ho 2.103
Romblon 515
Samar 5,488
115.434
224.000
462,444
55.339
1S5.3S6
Total land area 25.302
Total sea area 52,538
2.4S6.205
Total land and sea.. ..77,840
The" land area is one-half the size of
New York. In population the numbers
exceed any one of the 40 states In the
American Union, having a trifle more
population than Michigan, and exactly
1,000,000 more than California. The entire
group is of volcanic origin, the average
altitude of Its peaks being from 1000 to
4000 feet. The greatest elevation Is
Mount Copton, 10,150 feet high, In
Bohol.
All the Islands are well provided with
rivers and Indented with numerous bays
and harbors, five of them being the
largest In the archipelago. Bohol, Cebu,
Leyte, Negros and Ho Ilo, in Panay, have
a "number of fine roads. The sea chan
nels between the Islands, particularly
the southern route across them, for ves
sels plying between the United States
and Manila, are well lighted. The
United States maintains the finest sys
tem of maritime lights In the far East.
In the entire group are 350 towns, rang
ing from 1500 to 25,000 Inhabitants, and
1364 villages.
Among the dependent islands, number
ing 490 chartered and named, are many
of geographical importance, both in area
and economic conditions.
Mineral Wealth Great.
The mineral wealth Is also great. In
Bohol, Iron, copper, gold and coal are
found. In Cebu are deposits of coal,
which scientific Investigation has shown
yield a product equal to the bes,t grades
of English and superior to that from
Australia.- Gold and silver bearing lead
ore and petroleum are among the other
mineral products. In Leyte are gold.
Iron, magnltite, lead, silver and sulphur,
etc.; also indications of petroleum. In
Masbate lignite and gold. In Negros
valuable seams of coal. In Panay Iron,
gypsum, marl, anthracite coal, gold and
marble of varied colors and fine struc
ture. All the Islands abound In forests
of the best varieties of wood, Including
teak, ebony, juniper, molave and bam
boo; also medicinal and dye plants are
WHO THINKS.
raocTti aAMtiz co. Cincinnati
J
numerous. Dammar (pitch). rceJns, gums,
mastic or wax and honey are produced
in abundance.
The mechanical industries are wed
represented, among them, weaving: of fab
rics In silk, pineapple (plna cloth), cot
ton and hemp, the manufacture of blan
kets, napkins ind mats as specialties
in Bohol: sugar, salt, encoanut wine,
pottery, textiles of silk, smamay. hemp,
cotton, sugar sacks, and cheese as spe
cialties in Cebu: abaca and canonegro or
boat cables from hemp, chocolate anl
cocoanut oil In Leyte; Payones or sugir
sacks of barl, and palm mats, in Mas
bate; sugar sacks, palm leaf hats, bas
kets and alcohol in Panay. In Leyte the
women are particularly- skilled In laco
maklng and embroidery. The raising of
cattle, caraboas. horses and hoge gives
occupation to a large number in all the
Islands.
The fisheries are ,'so Important, the
chief products of the sea being Becho
de Mere (Trepang). sponges, shell, par
ticularly the glass sponge or Venus flow
er baskets, the rare Gloria Maria, and
pearls.
The caverns along the const produce
the finest edible birds' nests known to
commerce in the far East. In all the
Islands weekly fairs are held at Important
towns.
The commerce of the group in all the
products of agriculture, manufacture and
fishery Is extensive, the exports of hemp,
sugar and copra in 1SS9 amounting to
527.9S5 piculs (32,997 tons); sugar, 1,-iOS.iSO
piculs (S8.079 tons): copra, 75,503 plcula
(471S tqns).
The occupation of the Visayan group
was among the earliest military move
ments after the signing of the treaty of
peace with Spain. The garrisoned points
were selected on account of their com
mercial Importance and the value of pro
ductive Industries in the surrounding re
gions. Let Us Xot Be Faint-Hearted.
Toledo Leader.
Some opposition Is developing to tha
proposed Lewis and Clark Centennial and
American Exposition at Portland In 1DX,
due to the fact that the Pan-American
Exposition at Buffalo has not been a
financial success. While this reason Is
sufficient to discourage the faint-hearted,
it Is more than possible that the Port
land exposition will receive better pat
ronage, owing to the fact that thousands
of people in the East are beginning to
dream of Oregon as their future homt.
For years to come Oregon will' offer In
ducements to home-seekers of all classtt.
and It is safe to say that in 1905 thou
sands will come to the state, not orly to
see the exposition, but tht more chol o
parts of the great state of Oregon .n
cluding, of course, Lincoln County.
"Charltahlcs" Xote.
Cassell's Saturday Journal.
The sympathies of the generous Britcn
who-visits a'certain Italian cathedral aro
always roused (together with his sense
I of humor) by the following notice, which
appears in a conspicuous position over
an alms box:
"Appele to CharitabTos. The Brothers,
so-called, of Mercy, ask slender arms for
the hospital. They harbour all kinds of
diseases, and have no respect to reli
gion." A Benefit to Oregon.
Albany Herald.
The organization of a State Board of
Trade ought to result in much bonotit to
Oregon, and it will if conducted upon a
broad policy in the Interest of the whole
state.
will make cows
milk agree with
your baby.
Write for a free
sample.
Mellin's Food Co.,
Boston
No Cure
No fay
THE MODERN APPLIANCE. A positive
way to perfect manhood. The VACULiI
TREATMENT cures you without medicine of
all nervous or diseases of the generative or
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for circulars. Correspondence confidential.
THE HEALTH APPLIANCE CO., room 47-48
Safe Deposit building, Seattle, Wash.
7 fbod
, Mass. J