THE MORNING 0REGONIANr HFRSDAT SEF!PEMBE 27? 1900. k$ xmniaxi fenterea at tho Postofllce at Portland. Oregon, as second-class matter. . TELEPHONES. Editorial 3looras.....jCt ( Business Office. GCT REVISED SUBSCRIPTION RATES. By Mall (postage prepaid). In Advance TSr.l.y' TTlth Sunday, per month ..?0 83 Jaily, Sunday excepted, per 3 ear.-....,-.. 7 50 Bally, -with Sunday, per year a 00 Sunday, per year 2 00 e "Weekly, per year 1 50 "VVcekly, 3 months , 00 To City Subscribers liJAUy, per wek, delivered. Sundnvs cxccrted.ISc J&wy. per week, dellorcd, Sundays Included 20c POSTAGE RATES. iHnIe(1 States. Canada and Mexico: nn 1 i5"Pafl Paper lc 2.0 to32-pafcl paper 2c Foreign rates double Jfews or dircusFlon Intended for publication la Oregonlnn should be addressed invariably Editor The Oregonlan," not :o the name -of y individual. Letters reratlng to advertising, JTOUecriptlons or to any business matter fhould 06 addressed slmnlv "Th nn.i.. Pugot fioqnd Bureau Captain A. Thompson, oaice at 1111 Pacific avenue. Tacoma. Box 053. jracoma Postoffice. Eastern Business Offlee The Tribune build ing, New TcrJt city; Thr Rookery.' Chicago; c- Beclcwith soociat agency. New Tork. rZ? 'I 8al ,n f5"n ym"cIsco by X K. Cooper. 740 Karket street near the Palace Hotel, and at Goldsmith Bros., 230 SuttT street M B6le in Chicago by the P. O. News Co . .17 Dearborn street. TODAYS WEATKER.-Fair; winds mostly worthcrly. 3POHTLJLSTD, THURSDAY, SEPT. .7. OUR NATIONAL FARCE. Alabama wants nrotectlon for Its iron. ! Bouth Carolina for its cotton, Louisiana xor Its sugar. In another column is printed a collection of views showing that Southern business men disbelieve Sn free silver and fear Bryan's election will produce a panic. The South en tered heartily into the war v.lth Sp'ain, now enjoys the benefits of trade with "Cuba and Porto Rico, and is anxious for such Pacific expansion as will widen the market for cotton and Increase our Saclllties for getting it there. Yet the I South will almost unanimously cast Its Presidential vote for a man who Is .pledged to do all he can to oppose all Its. desires and prevent the fruition of Hits hopes. Ordinarily a man's political convlc- i t;ions exert some appreciable Influence n his vote. The Rocky Mountain re 4gion went for silver in 1S96, the Pacific Btates went for expansion In 1898. j Pennsylvania's iron regions and Ohio I nvoolgrowers send men to Congress who Tvill give them protection. No man who 53 lor free trade in Canadian lumber can get elected in Wisconsin; no man j "Who is for free trade in Canadian hay I end potatoes need run for Congress in ! -Northern New York. An anti-lmperial- hist wouldn't stay long In the Oregon I delegation, or an opponent of Federal irrigation laws in that of Wyoming. i Slow many Englishmen will indorse I Bryan for his support of the Boers? How many Populists will knife him be- -cause he declares for "direct legisla tion"? Cross Mason and Dixon's line and all j Is changed. If you are in search of first-class gold-standard and expansion arguments, consult the flies of the j Louisville Courier-Journal, now whoop llng It up for Bryan. If Texas needs anything at all, she needs Asiatic open ings for her cotton; but she will give ! 100,000 majority, more or less, for the Isnan who advocates abandonment of all I'we have gained in the Pacific The gold-standard business men of New Or- leans and Charleston and Atlanta and Mobile will vote for the candidate who .promises them free silver and a panic. The Southern gentleman, cherishing the I traditions of law-abiding and law-fear ing ancestors, fresh from the studies of Jhis library and unspoiled by foreign socialism, will support the Chicago plat- iorm, with its outcries against settled government and Its pandering to mob Tiots. The long staple cotton fields of l.'South Carolina, menaced with Egyptian i competition; the iron mines and mills of I JUabama, the sugar plantations of Lqu- ilsiana, will vote for a free trader for SJPresldent. All that the South hopes for it will Strive with its electoral vote to forbid. 1.A11 that it fears it will strive with its helectoral vote to bring to pass. Alas, i-that over so wide an extent of this most I progressive and independent of Nations public opinion should be a farce and 3olltical discussion a mere mummery! It takes 224 electoral votes to be Pres ident. If Bryan is elected, he will get 3.5 of them South of the Ohio and east iof Texas and Missouri. Not one of them will represent the convictions of the South upon the issues on which IBryan is making his fight to be elected. jA. campaign is on, and reason is ad- ! dressed to voters for and against issues land candidates. But the evidence and I the arguments are of no concern to the lescendants of Washington and Marion, Jefferson and Sumter, Patrick Henry laud Daniel Boone. McKinley's useful Ilabors or amiable weaknesses, Bryan's limpassloned appeals or acrobatic gyra tions, are all one to them. A man I Would be a pretty poor footracer who mad to be given 150 feet in 224 and then leweat like a carthorse to scratch out. REJOICE, BUT IN MODERATION. A generous and truthful man of Al- Ifoany, J. P. Hackleman by name, and 1 evidently possessed of all the sweetness of disposition and fairness of debate ("Which characterize the ideal Prohibi tionist, sends us, on a postal card, this tribute of disinterested benevolence: Have you lieard anything about tho election 3f the Prohibition candidate lor Sheriff in Portland, Maine 3 The total vote of the .Pro- ibition party in that county two years ago vos only 941. while the Republican vote was 7299, and the Democratic rote 5130 The plu- lity 01 tho Kcpuwican nominee over the ohlbltion candidate that year was 635S. This changed this year invo a plurality for the ohibitioa nominee of 400 or 50CH votes. The Portland Press, a Republican paper, says: The result Is simply amazing." Come, let us joice together. You won't have to worry any or over the nonenforcement of tho law in Brtland, Maine, at least. Come now, can't ju rejoice? - The Oregonian always rejoices to see j gentle lambkins play, and would not ilaiGwingly detract from any human icing's happiness. Our correspondent, r doubt not. Is impervious to any dis- aomflting' facts; consequently his joy not be impaired hy any quotations rom the election returns Qf Cumber- id County, in which Portland, Me., Is lEltuated. Its vote for Governor, Rep- jentatlve in Congress and Sheriff in B88 and 19Q0 stood thus: Governor Rep. Dcm. Pro. BOS ... - 7.114 4.&07 C.490 300 ... 10,107 C.870 1.300 Congressman .................. S.14U 4,800 ..... 900 9.878 O.UiO 1.355 Sheriff 7.290 5,133 341 5.0Q2 4,4SS 0,425 The Republican and Prohibition nomi- paees for Sheriff this year were thersamo ia 1898. Mr. Despeaux, who was elect- ed last time, was evidently displeasing to the county, for 3000 Republicans and 1500 Democrats voted for Pearson, Pro hibitionist, of whom they thought very little in 1898, and elected him. How much better success Pearson meets with in practice than Despeaux had, we shall know more definitely' in 1902, when he comes up for're-electlon. Meanwhile we refuse positively to rejoice over the fact that Prohibition will be enforced in Portland now, without an Indemnify ing bond against possible wastage of emotion. There was no Prohibition nominee for Congressman in the Portland district In I 1898. But the figures on Governor show a Republican .gain of 2200, a Democratic gain of 1000, and a Prohibition loss of 4000. This need not discomfusticate our friend at Albany. He can read only the returns on Sheriff. Every Prohibition ist reserves the right to select what facts he will admit to be in existence. THB SCHOOLBOOK JOB. It is a good thing to throttle an octo pus, or cripple a trust, It Is a bad thing to make a bungling job of so vir tuous a purpose. Results may be sor rowful, and they may also be expen sive. If the experiment of Professor Browne, Superintendent of Public In struction for Washington, In his great effort to castigate the book monopoly teaches any lesson, It is that political "reformers" usually do more harm than good. The helpless children of the state must stand the consequences, and their parents must foot the bills. The "geog raphy" compiled, by Harr Wagner Is rotten with errors and absurdities; and other works, the product of home talent, are being severely criticised where they are used. For the adoption of these works the State Board of Education in Washington is responsible. If Gov ernor Rogers, friend of the "barefoot" schoolboy, has any proper sense of his duty, he will remove the entire board at once, or those members who joined with Browne in introducing the ridicu lous Wagner into the schools of the state. The friends of Browne Intimate that politics has inspired the attack on the new system. Possibly. But will politics cause the Rogers administration to throw its protecting arm around Browne, and endeavor to shield him from the consequences of his own stu pid folly If folly only It Is? We know something about the opera tions of the book trust in this state. Its methods are not admirable. But the intrigues and machinations of the trust to cajole and persuade and influence educators into its way of thinking about its books are no excuse for machina tions and intrigues and corrupt jobs by its enemies to deprive It of Its business and build up a little monopoly of their own. These things, or something very like them, were done in Washington. Superintendent Browne aided the for mation of the Westland Publishing Company, a local concern, which de pended entirely upon his official favor to establish it in business. Browne Is directly charged in some of the Wash ington -newspapers with being finan cially interested in this concern. This allegation he denies; but he is "proud of his efforts to encourage local publi cation, and has no apologies for his rec ord." In any event, this publishing concern is his creature, and its organi zation was an essential part of the great job whose fruits are chiefly to be found in the astonishing Wagner geography. Browne's highest duty, and his only duty, to the people of his state Is to maintain a competent system, of in struction in the public schools. To pro tect the state treasury from school book jobbers Is a collateral duty, in volved in the larger trust. For a Su perintendent himself to be part and par cel of any such conspiracy Is unpardon able and shameless. THE OHIKESE SITUATIOK. The agreement of Great Britain with the answer of the United States to the German note was to be expected, for the English mind is of common-sense qual ity. Great Britain knows that the Chi nese situation must be met as a condi tion, not as a theory. Great Britain knows that the dismemberment of China would be an awful mistake from a commercial point of view, and would be an almost impracticable proceeding as a military performance. The Kai ser's demand that the "few" persons who have proved to be the original and real Instigators of the outrages against international law which have occurred at Pekin be delivered up to the foreign powers for punisnment, Derore any peace negotiations with China be opened, is so extreme that our Govern ment naturally declined to approve it, and Great Britain has Indorsed our re fusal. Nevertheless, Germany means to per sist in a course of aggression. Her de mands are clearly aimed at the Em press Regent, who is the lawful ruler of China, and who is described as the orig inal and real instigator of the outrages at Pekin. Lord Salisbury, however, shows his English common sense In de clining to Insist that the punishment of the guilty ones who were in authority shall precede negotiations for settle ment. He knows that the Chinese will never consent to surrender their Em press Regent to foreign powers to be punished as those powers may choose for offenses which could only be proved after Impartial investigation. And there is something to be said on the Chinese side of the case. It is true that attacks were made upon the foreign Legations at Pekin, but the foreign fleets had al ready bombarded and taken the Chi nese forts at the mouth of the Pel Ho, As a matter of self-respect, the Chinese will never surrender their Empress Re gent, and Germany has a ten years' war on her hands if she insists on her original terms. The Chinese have legitimate griev ances against foreigners, and especially against Germans. No nation with a semblance of pride could consent to de termine one of the leading subjects of negotiations before negotiations had commenced. The German Government proposes to the various powers that "the Cabinets concerned should Instruct their representatives at Pekin to Indi cate those leading Chinese personages from whose guilt In Instigating or per petrating outrages all doubt Is exclud ed." This means the trial of an indefi nite number of Chinese by a "star chamber court" composed of a few for eigners who are in Pekin as the diplo matic agents of foreign governments. The German note Is couched in terms so severe as to make a settlement with China impossible. Germany a few years ago, as a reparation for the death of two missionaries, exacted from China the seaport of Kiao Chou and practi cally the whole province of Shan Tung. Her present purposes are doubtless in line with that mischievous proceeding, Emperor William ougntito remember the far-sighted moderation of. Bismarck after Sadowa and Sedan. ' Bismarck knew human nature -so well that heal ways shrank from driving a high-spirited people to extremities. He urged Emperor William I after Sedan to treat for peace with any party or dynasty that represented the French people, so that peace might come and French pride be saved. The good sense of Bis marck is absent from the councils of the German Emperor today, who evi dently seeks to humiliate the Chinese to the dust. He will not succeed. The Chinese will rise as a nation and re pulse Germany. Germany will be obliged to retire or fight a ten years' battle of doubtful issue. DOLLAR. AND DINNER PAIL. What shall It profit a man to assist Agulnaldo to a throne and lose his own job? McKlnley proposes to establish order in the Philippines, set up a stable gov ernment with local self-government and United States sovereignty. Bryan pro poses to establish order in the Philip pines, set up a stable government with local self-government and' a United States protectorate. Is the difference great enough to pay a man to "vote for 16 to 1, bring on hard times and throw himself; out of work? The idea is to return to the Republi canism of Washington, Jefferson, Jack son and DIncoln. The idea Is, if we can't have "consent" in the South or with the Indians or in Alaska of Porto Rico, anyhow we must give It to Agu'n aldo, even at the 'cost of a financial and industrial revolution here at home. It's a pretty hard proposition. Let us elect Bryan and the silver Con gress that will go along with his vic tory. Let us get up a scare in business, abandon Pacific expansion, encourage riots, get a few anarchists in the Su preme Court, shut up the factories with threats of free trade, break up a few banks with fear of the silver basis, tell the world that four years of prosperity at home and honor abroad don't suit us, and have a change all round. It will be a tough dose, but Altgeld and Till man will be happy and Agulnaldo can blow his silver whistle undisturbed. You tell me that I must do the hand some thing by Agulnaldo. Well while I am taking care of Agulnaldo, who will be taking care of me? Who is going to buy my goods if my customers cancel their orders? Who is going to get my money out of the savings bank -when It .closes up? Who will pay my income tax if one is enacted? Who is going to give me a job- if I am thrown out of work? Bryan says it is monstrous to talk about the dollar in the pocket so long as Agulnaldo is unsatisfied. He says it is disgusting to talk about the full dinner pall, just as If a 'man had no ideas above his dinner pall. But if a man is thinking of doing without both the dol lar and the dinner pail, he wants to know where he is going to get off. It would be pleasant living for the Bryans, doubtless, at the White House. It would be agreeable to Agulnaldo Ibsu- lng proclamations twice, a week to his minions In Manila. But the average man is not going to think so much about what will happen to Agulnaldo as to forget to think about what will hap pen in this country. We go on the prinolple in this country that if a man doesn't look out for him self, nobody will look out for him. A good many people think highly of self preservation. That is what Agulnaldo did when he took $400,000 of Spanish coin and sailed away, leaving the sacred cause of freedom and "consent" to' its own resources. CROKBR, BRYAN'S PARTNER. There Is little doubt about the fact of the illicit deal between Bryan and Cro ker. The Tammany boss offers to sell Bryan New Tork for all the state's Fed eral patronage and a Cabinet position. He wants the latter for his faithful1 friend and creature, HJdward Murphy, the beer king; the spoils he will dis- j tribute where they will do the most good among his mercenaries and para sites. Bryan Is not entitled to the ben efit of his lame denial of the stories about the corrupt bargain. Croker Js a calculating dealer in political dry goods. His masterly activity is never displayed for nothing in any cause. If he bets $80,000 against $250,000 on Bryan, It Is because he can afford to lose, and he has larger game In view. In this case his aim is to raise a mighty cor ruption fund from the saloons, gam blers, lawbreakers, politicians, Tam many appointees and other municipal favorites. The $80,000 Is merely an ear nest tp them that they are to get a run for their money. Perhaps they will. But It will be because Croker, with his boodle In hand, thinks it worth his own while to spend It for Bryan. To carry the election is with Bryan a practical, and not a sentimental, ques tion. It is his purpose and his business to make himself President, If he can. As Croker was his mo3t powerful ally at Kansas City, so is Crokerlsm to be the most influential instrument in his final success. Thus he stoops to con quer and dirties his fingers by striking hands over an Iniquitous deal with the most wicked, unscrupulous and danger ous trafficker in public morals and offi cial consciences the country has ever known. Now Bryan is going to New York to help out his partner, Croker.- It may be supposed that his presence there will be a certain guaranty that McKlnley will carry the state. The sure effect of this visit will be to alarm the luke warm, stimulate the indifferent and arouse the slumbering antagonisms that have not as yet appeared In ef fective measure during the campaign. Many Democrats have been intending to vote for Bryan because their suspi cions and fears have been allowed to subside through the absence of the great agitator. Contact with Bryan Is the best possible advertisement of Bry anlsm, and it Is Bryanism that the great majority of voters in New Tork abhor. Croker they can tolerate, be cause he is simply an ugly excrescence, a dragon that does not have to be slain, but to be paid, to make him innocuous; and the alternative of Croker is Piatt. But Bryan and Bryanism New Tork In sheer self-protection must fight and aid to kill off. Wheat and flour shipments from Port land for the first three months of the current season will be the largest on record for a corresponding period. Fig ures printed In Tacoma correspondence In anotner column show that Portland has not only held her own In this busi ness, but within the past ten years has made a decided gain over the Puget Sound cities. It is' during the ten-year period for which the figures are given that the greatest effort was made to divert wheat tiom Portland territory to Puget Sound poets. Portland has done much for her shipping since 1890. The channel has been deepened so. tha,t lighterage is ho longer necessary; com pulsory pilotage has been abolished, towage rates reduced, extensive docks equipped with the latest Improved ma chinery for -cheap handling of grain have been- completed, and numerous other Improvements have been made. The fine showing produced while suffer ing under a. handicap which has now been removed is a guarantee that the good, long lead we now hold will show a proportionate- increase in the next ten years. Tacoma and Seattle will in crease their wheat shipments as new territory is tapped by railroads termi nating on 'the Sound, but there Is no reason why -Portland's increase from now on should not be proportionately greater. Mr. Bryan occasionally refers to pros perity ln a sneering way, but he has never undertaken a straightforward discussion of the facts. In 1894 there were 1,424,966 depositors" in our Na tional banks, 502,756 in state and private banks, 205,368 in loan and trust compa nies, and 3,413,477 in savings banks. In 1899 there were 1,991,183 depositors in National banks, 960,394 In state and prl vate banks, 443,32-1 in loan and trust companies, and 4,254,516 in savings banks. Here is an increase of 2,109,547 in the number-of depositors in banks.. The value of deposits in 1894 was $2,874, 528,406. In 1899 the amount was $4,608, 096,005, jm increase of $1,733,506,599. The average deposit in,- banks was $520 in 1894, and $602 in 1899. As if in direct answer to Mr. Bryan's insinuations, the figures in Nebraska, Kansas, Colorado and the Dakotas are particularly sig nificant. The increase in deposits In North Dakota Is over 100 per cent, or from $2,275,795 In -1894 to $5,050,000 In 1899. In South Dakota there has been an increase from $2,958,463 to $7,042,915, or an increase of $4,084,452. In Ne braska there has been an Increase from $22,428,240 to $35,726,105. In Kansas there has been an increase from $17,147,160 to $33,605,101, or an increase of $16,437,941. In view of these figures, the Chicago Inter Ocean trenchantly remarks that "when Mr. Bryan tells the people of any -of these states that their condition is as bad under Repub lican rule as Under the administration of Cleveland, the men, women and chil dren with their savings in bank will rise up against him." Among those thrown out of employ ment in the anthracite coal district by the strike In and around Hazleton is an army of "breaker boys," 2000 strong. Most of these are too young to realize what stopping work'means to them and to those to whose support they contrib ute. "Barefooted, grimy-faced," says a correspondent of the Philadelphia Bul letin, "they scampered down the rick ety stairs as the boom of the knocking off gun sounded the glad tidings of .a long and jolly rest." One cannot won der that these little wage-earners wel comed the strike. Earning money means toll to them over the wet ' or dusty chutes through the cold Winter mornings and throughout the livelong, shivering day. Th$ breaker boy is a wage-earner who never sees the $1 69 or $2 a week thai he makes, His parents trade at the -company store, and his wages go Into the general account He has no time for school. His father was a breaker ' boy "before him, and re ceived no sohopling. In these coal min ing districts the compulsory education law is a dead letter. It is circumvented by the unwritten law of necessity. Very young children go to school, but after the miner's son is ten yCars old he must join the black-faced army in -the great coal breaker and pluck out his living from, the never-ceasing flow of anthra cite. Expectingnothlng else, the lot is accepted, If not , cheerfully, with indif ference, except as to its" monotony, a break in which was gladly welcomed by the breaker boys when the early knocklng-off gun last Saturday an nounced that the strike was on. Whlttler san's the story of Chicago's disaster by flre in 1871 In the words: On three-score spires tho silnset shone Whero ghastly sunrise looked on none. And, never loBing sight of the divine principle In man or slighting an oppor tunity to record an expression of it, he added to a recital of the city's woes a laudation of human generosity that they Invoked, saying: But underneath. the threat'nlngr wav Tho world, full handed, reached to save. An exemplification of the quick re sponse of generosity to the call of sore distress might, "fyell be recorded" In the same lines In the case of Galveston. The humane. Instincts excited by this calamity ar6 confined to no race or na tion. The French were among the first to respond to the call' for aid, and very oarly in the fray a generous subscrip tion was forwarded to the Mayor of the stricken city lay the Chinese of New Tork.' Reports of the needless abuse to which horses were subjected while be ing placed aboard .the transport Lennox indicate that It would pay the Govern ment In such a case, -from a standpoint of economy, to hire a humane officer with full police powers to see that Its horses are properly handled. While perhaps none of the creatures were seri ously injured by being persuaded on shipboard with clubs vigorously applied to their backs, shins and haunches, it can hardly be said that their value, either for docility or endurance, was en hanced by this treatment There are certainly other and better ways to man age horses that would give them the advantage of starting on a long and nec essarily trying sea voyage with whole hides and unbruised bodies. All for McKlnley. The Springfield Republiqan finds, in run ning over the editorial pages of its re ligious weekly exchanges, that thoy are all supporting McKlnley. And yet it is .--r pointed out that Bryan Is an active church member in good and regular standing. There was a time, only a few months ago, when desperate efforts wore made by a few In temperate and clamorous temperance re formers, whose headquarters appear to be in Washington when Congress Is in ses sion, to array tho religious press against President McKlnley on account of the "Army canteen," the practical operation of which was not generally well under stood. Because the President choso to follow .the Attorney-General's legal in terpretatldn of a law of Congress rather than their own, these people planned a systematic -campaign of abuse and de traction against him. His personal hahits were misrepresented, and he was assailed on account of the liquor traffic In the Philippines, the facts in regard to which were, distorted and exaggerated. The cam paign was carried into some of the great religious assemblies and conventions of the year and strenuous efforts were made to induce 4he conductors of the religious, newspapers tq join the crusade. OS course,' agitation led to investigation, and theVe sult is, according to the Springfield Re publican, that the religious weeklies are a uni in support of McKlnley. SOME PERTINENT REPLIES. As Pertinent, Anyhow, as One That t Bryan Recently Made. New York Tribune, . Mr. Bryan has spoken at last on North Carolina. He has addressed himself to a consideration of the suppression of the negro vote in that state and to the con sequent imposition of government with out the consent of the govorned. He has done so with the fullness, the frankness, the qourage and the philosophic calm which were to be expected of him after his bold and exhaustive discussion of the currency question in his Indianapolis speoch of acceptance. This interesting episode occurred at Fort Scott, Kan., and this was the fashion of It: Some one asked him about North Carolina and the race question in that state. "I am glad you mentioned North Carolina," said Mr. Bryan. "Now, I want you to read the Sulu treaty, and, having done that, 1 think you will blush until election day and never have time to think of North Carolina." Most admirable' Crlchton! Now, we sup pose that presently some impertinent heckler will ask him, "What about free silver?" And the great man will say: "I am very glad you mentioned free sli ver. Now, I want you to read what Jefferson said about Louisiana, and I think you will find it ever so much more Interesting than anything I could say about 16 to 1." Again, some bad boy will demand, "How about packing the Su preme Court?" And the candidate of Popocracy wHl reply: "I am delighted to hear you mention that. Now, I want you to commit the whole of Tupper's 'Proverbial Philosophy' to memory, and When you have done that I think you will be so dead to the world that you will not even know there Is a Supreme Court." And when at the last some son of Belial inquires, "How about the Income tax?" the would-be reincarnation of Lincoln will austerely reply: "It just warms the cock les of my heart to hear you mention the dear old income tax, Now, I just want you to say 'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers' until you can say It forward and backward at the same time, and then It will be dollars to doughnuts you won't know an Income tax from a hole In the ground." Truly, It is a great scheme. Only, with all reserve and respect and reverence, we are not sure that It Is quite original. For It is written of the late Dennis O'Toole that he was once instructed by hls master to get rid of an unwelcome caller who had inquired if the master was at home, and to do so by giving him "an equivocal answer." Dennis did It. Later his master asked him tiow he did It. "Sure, I gave him an equivocal answer." "But what did you say, Den nis?" "Well, sorr, he asked me was Yer Honor at home, and I says to him, sure, says I, 'was yer grandmother a monkey?' " What W1U' Happen March 5. The Philadelphia Ledger has been trying to forecast the situation on March 5, 1901, In case of the election of Mr. Bryan, and also in case of tho re-election of Mr. McKInTey, and it; sums up the matter as follows: Wo cannot speak with as muoh certainty about what Mr. Bryan would do on the, 0th of March, 1001, if he should be elected, as -we can about what Mr. McKlnley would do under similar circumstances, but we know enough of his vagaries to be assured that he would do a great deal of mischief and very little good. me paramount ,issue is the nnanclal pro gramme of the two candidates for President, and when the country begins to consider what Mr. Bryan's election would bring about, it will assuredly decide to let well enough alone and have four years more of ouslnoss done on a sound, "financial basis, which is one of the elements' ox prosperity. ' The Immediate Insne. St Louis Globe-Democrat. The unanimity apd vigor with which' the people of the United States recognize that base money and not flag-furling Is the paramount issue is striking terror into the hearts of the'Bryanites. Free sliver is turning the whole. of the East and all of the Middle West against Bry an, as it did in, 1896. The protection of the 100-cent dollar Is the vital issue with the wage-earners all over the country. Chairman Jones said In September, 1896, that the characterization "50-cent dollar party," which the Republicans hurled at the Bryanltes at that time, did the latter more damage than any other epithet that hit them. The designation "45-cent dollar party," which Is flung at the Bryanltes in 1B00, will damage them more than did Its predecessor. - a - MEN AND WOMEN. - On the nomination of Lord Roberts tha Duke of Westminster has been appointed Second Lieutenant In the Royal Horse Guards. The Duke's service In South Africa was short, but most creditable. Professor R. Means Davis, of x South Caro lina College, at Columbia, Is writing a hlstorr of South Carolina during reconstruction days, and when ho has finished that will undertake. if he yields to the general wish, a history of the state at largo for use in Its schools. Alexander Ramsey, the first territorial Gov ernor of Minnesota, the first Mayor of SU Paul, ex-Senator and former Secretary of War, has refused persistently to add to the biographical notes he has already made pub lic, although he has received many flattering offers from magazlno editors. The new Queen of Servla has many personal attractions which mirht to endear her to her subjects, notwithstanding tho opposition to hor marriage. One who knows her well says aba is a tall, graceful brunette, with beautiful hazel eyes, -which at times betray a high strung temper. Her voice is agreeable, and even musical. She speaks French and German with great fluenoy. She is well versed in French literature, and reads the papers at tentively. Lady Currle- still signs "Violet Ftfae" when she publishes a poem. This she has just done In the pages of the Lallan Review, a maga zine printed In Italy In the English tongue and advocating many of the reforms, espe cially in laws and usages relating to women, whloh are associated particularly with tho Anglo-Saxon race. The new magazine, which Queen Maraherlta Joins the British Ambassa dress in fostering, is edited by Madame Zam plnl Salozar, who is now on a visit to London. Onr Dead Soldier. Thomas M. Farquajiar in New Tork World. A khaki-covered soldier had made the last re treat. His warrior soul wea marshaled before the Judgment seat, A foreign, silent rlco swamp had welcomed him to death. And o'er him moaned the night wind with sultry, fretful breath. While throbbing through tho waving reeds their melancholy tune, The ebbing battle guns die out in weird and walling croon, , And, he whose eager ear hath heard them boom on Luzon's plain Will never more thrill at their sound nor fol low them again. A faint and far-off bugle call, -a humming, dis tant drum, Tho night bird's plaintive crying, through the clinging rnarsh mists como; Tho rice dyke's gloomy groaning, straining 'gainst the sodden surge In sullen, savage music sobs the soldier's only dirge. Tho slow lament, so sweetly sad, that bursts from martial band. Will not be thine, oh! soldier, in thy grave on foreign strand. But twice ten thousand warriors from storied, strenuous past Acclaim thee, from dead battlefields, a hero of the last. But, soldier, where thou llest there shall be thy native land; For government shall keep the soil seised by thy daring hand, The flag shall droop abovo thee with weight of battlo-lore, i i.nin- n o'rnr-ir ,, fco. - . ao'mdro." SOUTHERN VIEWS -OF POLITICS. New Tork Evening Post, n The full returns of the Arkansas elec tion are decidedly unfavorable to the Democrats. The vote of the state for Governor in 1900 thus compares with the corresponding election in 1S9S: Dem. Item. Rep. Pop. Plu. 1S9S 01.124 S3.S:6 1390 E6.2SS 1900 88.637 40,701 3.1 47,936 It will be observed that the Republican vote has Increased about 14 per cent, while the Democratic has fallen, off near ly 3 per cent But this by no means ex presses the Democratic loss, for most of the Populists haye always been Demo crats, and when the vote of that party sinks from 13.SS0 to 3641, the Democratic should have Increased by 7000 to 8C0Q. On the basis of the division in 1S98, therefore, the Democrats have really lost something over 10 per cenjt, as against a Republican gain of 14 per cent. There have been charges of fraud against the dominant party by the Republicans In each election, but they may be considered to balance each other, and so do not affect the com parison. The showing is what might have been expected after the indications of public sentiment In the South during the last few weeks. That section has lost Its Interest In Bryan's, free-silver nostrum, while It has no heart In his campaign against the Imperialism In which It be lieves. Some light upon public sentiment In other parts of the South, as well as In Arkansas, Is cast by a canvass of bank ers In dozens of country towns through out that section just made by the Balti more Manufacturers' Record. They were asked for their views upon the present conditions of business Interests In their neighborhoods, and were also Invited to express their opinions as" to whether the business Interests of the country will be best served by the election of McKlnley or of Bryan. Many of the bankers make .no reference to politics, which Is in itself not without significance as Indicating a widespread lack of enthusiasm for the Democratic candidate, and while a num ber would like to see Bryan succeed, there are many who are outspoken against him. Thus the cashier of a bank at Fort Smith, Ark., writes that his soc tion never before enjoyed so great a de gree of prosperity as now, and adds: "We, are well satisfied with McKinley's Administration, and for my part I appre hend that a change would prove most dis astrous to every business enterprise." Three or four other expressions may be worth quoting: From Eminence, Ky. It is my opinion that the election of Mr. McKlnley will be for the business Interest of the country. Imperialism is only a scare that we care nothing about. I am a Democrat, but I am convinced It Is to our interest to make no change in the Presi dent. From Coal Creek. Tenn. While I was a Democrat and voted three times for Cleveland. I do not see what could be done from a mere human standpoint that would be more dis astrous to the business Interests of the coun try, and therefore to every Interest, than thM election of Bryan. The gold standard of money must be maintained, lmprelallsm or no imperialism. From Blalrs, S. C Tho average business man believes that the election of Mr, Bryaa to the Presidency of the United States would cause a money panic. From Bertram, Tex. While a very large ma jority of people In this section will ote for Mr. Bryan for President, because ho la thir party nominee, still the honest conviction of the best business men Is that they would really prefer to see Mr. McKlnley ro-elected, believing that such re-election would the bet ter tend to Insure continuance of present pros perity. When lifelong Democrats are In, such a frame of mind as this, it is not strange that the Arkansas election should show Democratic losses and Republican gains. No candidate for the Presidency was ever treated with such contempt In the section where he was supposed to be strongest as is Bryan by the South in this campaign. All of the state beow the Potomac and the Ohio Rivers, with the possible exceptions of West Virginia and Kentucky, are conceded to him by everybody, and yet in. all that region there Is scarcely any sign of warm sup port, while leading Democratic newspa pers do not hesitate to sneer at tho nom inee of their party. Take as an illustra tion these remarks by the Montgomery Advertiser, the most Influential Journal in Alabama, upon Bryan's recent claim that the coinage of silver dollars by the McKlnley Administration Is a vindication Of the "16 to 1" doctrine: "For the sake of the party, we wish Mr. Bryan would stop making such statements. Mr. Bryan knows that such coinage has absolutely no connection with free coinage at IS to L There's no excuse for such statements." It Is evident that the sentiment of the South regarding the financial Issue has changed greatly, and that the business men of that section are now In no mood for tampering with the gold standard. This is one reason why the South Is cool towards a candidate who Is committed to the overthrow of that standard. While the South has thus cooled to wards Bryan as the advocate of a finan cial revolution, a large proportion of Its people are Indignant against him for tak ing up in this campaign opposition to ex pansion, and for his championship of "the consent-of-the-governed" principle. The South Is the section of the Union which has always most strongly favored expan sion. As the Galveston News, the lead ing newspaper of Texas, recently put It: Purely nobody who has read the record can, pretend that the Democratic party has over opposed this policy. The very grandfathers of the party stood on this foundation, and In this very doctrine the organization found life and power." As for the theory that the superior race need bother about getting the consent of the Inferior to the government of the lat ter, representative Southern journals rid icule the idea and reject It with scorn. The Macon (Ga.) Telegraph, for instance, admits, that "we of the South are uncon stitutional with regard to the negro, and expect to continue so right along," and declares that "such a modification being necessary In the South, it will likewise be necessary In the new possessions." In View of the developments regarding antl lraperlallsm in the South during the past month, It is not strange that Bryan should feel Inclined to switch off to the anti-trust Issue. Politicians "Who Can Manngre. Atlantic Monthly. A boss Is not only a partisan politician, that is, one concerned with partisan poli tics, but he Is a political machinist, one concerned with the machinery of political parties. Many politicians are not political machinists. In England, indeed, while nearly every public man Is a partisan pol itician, few of the leading public men are ol!tlcal machinists. Mr. Chamberlain s, or is supposed to be, a rare exception to the general rule. . In this country Messrs. Reed, Edmunds, Blaine, Bayard, Thurman. all partisan politicians, and none of them wholly Ignorant of partisan political machinery, yet were not political machinists, as was Mr. Tllden, for ex ample, f t a "Will Find HIM Joab on November S. St. Louis Globe-Democrat. Mr. Bryan's topic was free trade In 1892; free silver in 1S98, and It Is Absalom in 1200. NOrE AND COMMENT . - , The coal outlook Is very blackv The sample of weather submitted yes terday is just the thing for the Fall style.. Bryan's admirers say. he bellayes every word he says. He must be a man of re markable credulity. Von Waldersee Is getting ready to loadfi. the allies, and LI Hung Chang Is p-.se -, paring to lead the German. ' 0 The frost will soon bo fallln' From the cold November sky. And the mellow golden puakln Will bo ready fur the pie. ir New Tork hadn't repealed the Horton law it might have secured the Chinese German war as a Winter attraction. The mummy raised his head, and spoke; They listened for his words, and lol He cracked the same time-ripened Joka We hear at every minstrel show. If Oom Paul find3 time hanging heavy on his hands he might buy a little cheap, excitement by getting a few shares in tha. ice trust. Persons desiring a job lot of paramount Issues dirt cheap will do well to commu nicate with the Democratic party about November 7. The death of a millionaire Is vlevted with suspicion by the New Tork police. If he had been an office-holder the sus picions would seem more reasonable. Bryan has not yet announced where he will eat his Thanksgiving dinner, but hd will be safe In Inviting his friends to the. little white-washed cottage on the farm. The editor of the London Times Is a rather august personage In the eyes of most Englishmen, and few puollc men care to run the risk of Incurring his dis pleasure. Lord Brougham w as not of that number, however. He was the author of a rather sharp practical Joke, the victim being the dreaded "Thunderer" It- ' self. The editor of that paper was a particular enemy of the great statesman, and It occurred to the latter that It would; be a good joke to give out tnat he was: dead and see what kind of obituary no tice the great London newspaper would give. Lord Brougham was traveling In the provinces at the time, and the report of his death was soon circulated. A rep resentative of the Times called at his lordship's residence to verify the rumor. There he wa3 assured the renort was Indeed true, and In proof was shown the coffin and pall, which haa already beert laid out. The next day the Times ap peared with a notice of Brougham's: death, in which the statesman's life and. character were depicted in tho most viru lent terms. It was very small satisfac tion to Lord Brougham when, a few days later, ha exacted an abject apology from the editor. Oh! the shl: o state's In peril,- where shaa k often been before. She's drlftln' with her rudder gone upon a rock-bound shore; The cyclone of calamity Is roarln overhead. An on the smashed an battered decks alt. , hope Is lyta' dead. The shla o' state's In peril, an the day o" wrath Is here, It never falls to come around a Presidential year. Oh J the ship o' state's In peril, an the snako armed octopus Is reachln' out Its slimy colls to grab an' swallow us. f Its awful, fear-compellin form above tha wave appears, r- V. As it showi up unfallln'ly In Presidential years. An If the jcrand of ship keeps on she'a cer tain sure to go To wreck an' ruin on the rocks. Jest like foue years ago. " Oh I the ship o state's In peril, where It fre kently Is found. The Bryan howlers all can hear her keel grate on the ground. They see the slrnal of distress a-flyln' at her mast. An -natch to see her swallered up amid the shrlekln' blast. But they'll be disappointed, fur the crew seta up a cheer. An" iuta out In the nick o time each Presi dential year. PLEASANTRIES OF PARAGItAPHEHS The Only Way. He What would you do if X should kiss you? She That Is for you to find, out! Puck. A Clever Turn. "What a pretty Fall hat that is of Mrs. Flypp's." "Yes. That's her Summer hat turned around with the back to the front.' Cleveland Plain Dealer. "Papa has looked you up." "But, dearest are you going to let that make any differ ence,?' "Oh. no! There Is no reason why we should not still remain engaged.' Life. Mother Tommy, what makes you so latent Tommy Had some words with the teacher, and she kept me In after scholol. Mother Tou had words with the teacher? "Yea, mother. I couldn't spell 'em.' Tlt-Blts. Near Enoush. Tommy Pa. what does "dis agree" mean? Pa Well, when two people think alike they are eatd to asrreo. Now, you; can guess what "disagree" means. Tommy Oh, yesi that's when only one people thtnka alike! Philadelphia Press. The Savase Bachelor. "I do believe that young pair have come to an understanding at lost." said the landlady. "If they have, thoy are tho first couple in love that ever exhibited any signs of possessing understanding." said the Savage Bachelor. Indianapolis Press. The Absurdity of It. "I tell you." Bald tha practical citizen, speaking with emphasis, "tha secret of permanent roads 13 ' "How did you ret tho Idea that I was interested in thet subject of permanent roada?" interrupted th paving contractor, with a frosty smile. Chi cago Tribune. Let There Be Light. Robert Kldson In Brooklyn Eagle. Can you not see. my borthers, how great this Nation grows. Emerging from Its century of toll and martial throes? How In the year of miracles, the fateful ninety-eight. With little effort It became the peer of any stater The equal of the greatest, with ample power to grow? Then cease your petty wrangllngs and let dis sensions go. When this great century was young, with foes every hand. Wo let not well enough alone, but needs must then expand; To rest content with thirteen states wa not our lucky star. We. raised them up to forty-five, and, thank Godt here we are; And here we mean to stay, my boys, right at the same old stand. And no American now lives who says wo'vo too much land. As we crossed the Rocky Mountains, now w breast the surging waves. For tho Islands God has given, sacred with our heroes graves; As wo fought to free ourselves, boys, now we fight to free the world. With the same old flas abovo us. by Provi dence unfurled; For we are stronr enough by now to help across the sea. And God Intends it shall be done: so. brother, let it be. There's antl-this and ant t-that, but old Tims rolls along. And Uncle Sam Is marching to Expansion's glorious song; Tho Nation's prosperous through light, must hold together fast. Nor lonser be divided by the hatreds of tl past; The advocates of isolated selfishness aro blind; The more. TJnlted States there are, thatpettar for mankind. '