-rr
TTTR arOTESING OHEGOXIAN, FRIDAY, MAY 4, 1900.
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PORTLAXD, FIUDAY, MAY 4, 1900.
IX OUR. HANDS.
"Who Is to be the next President de
pends upon the six states from New
York to "Wisconsin. The Fusion party's
appeal In these states will be made for
abandonment of the Philippines. Upon
public sentiment In these pivotal states
a profound effect will be exerted by the
result of the Oregon election in June.
We know how Oregon's vote Is awaited
all over the country as an index of
November's verdict In a Presidential
year. We know how great influence
Oregon's vote exerts upon the voters of
the whole Nation. Here Is a serious
responsibility thrust upon the voters of
this state. It would be better for us
if we held our general election in the
FalL But we don't. The crisis is upon
us, and cannot be dodged.
The Pacific Coast has pursued
through many years an uphill struggle
for the large place in achievement and
affairs to which its position and re
sources seem to entitle it. It would
lie a tedious and depressing study to
recount the difficulties under which this
struggle has been carried on. We wel
comed the railroads, only to learn that
their concern for us is to exploit the
consuming power of our people for the
"benefit cf their Eastern patrons. They
make It so costly for raw materials to
come here and finished products to go
back, and so cheap for Eastern wares
to come in, that only exceptional ad
. vantages enable home manufacturers
to eke out a precarious existence. They
pursue a systematic policy of destroy
ing Pacific Coast jobbing trade in order
to build up Eastern jobbers, and to
this day they propose to defy -not only
equity, but the natural advantages
given us here through water connec
tion by way of Cape Horn.
With our domestic commerce and
iifacturers throttled in this way.
we are also denied foreign commerce.
Fronting on awakening Asia, we are
not permitted to do the business with
.Asia. It is done on the Atlantic Coast,
through the Suez Canal, while the rail
roads, which punish our domestic in
dustry and stifle trans-Pacific com
merce with heavy tariffs, forbid us also
what benefit we might derive from the
Nicaragua Canal. AH that Congress
can do to keep us from trading with
Asia, It does. The Canadian Pacific,
Jto which our patriotic statesmen at
Washington can deny nothing, carries
Oregon flour and Southern cotton
across In its steamships and brings
"back by rail across tho American con
tinent the silk and tea New York and
New England receive in payment.
Why does Congress tax tea, which
comes to Pacific ports, and let in free
coffee, which comes to Atlantic ports?
Why are duties clapped on Japanese
matting, and added duties on silk,
"whenever extra revenues are to be
raised or the tariff revised? Why was
Congress so anxious to set the Porto
Rico tariff precedent except it was
through fear that through free trade
with the Philippines somebody on this
Coast might do a little business?
On this dark and devious way a light
at last has dawned. With the Philip
pines In American hands and with
half-way reasonable conditions for
shipping across the Pacific, the re
spurces and position of this Coast
might at last have a chance to assert
themselves. Such enterprise and ambi
tion, patience, skill and Industry as our
people have, might at last be nermltted
fe-to achieve something if worthy of it.
or else to fall In fair competition. But
across the path a new obstacle has
arisen. To Congress and the railroads
must now be added the Fusion party
in the I'nlted States. If It can help it,
there will be no American entrance
Into the Pacific, there will be no trans
Pacific trade, there will be no devel
opment cf this coast but through the
same painful struggle that has pre
vailed hitherto. Mr. Bryan comes out
here and to our faces advocates the
, -cbanlonmcnt of the Philippines. He
goes back and represents such aban
donment as the sentiment of our peo-
rHe should be rebuked in June.
Ivery xmia that votes the Foxion
ret June 4 votes to tie n xutll
ue nliont the neck of Orejron in-
Fstrj, to throttle trniis-Paclflo
vade, to continue the Nubservleuce
fof this Conxt to the Influences that
save hitherto held back: its pros
. Every iium that votes the Fu
ion tlcliet June 4 votes to kill bnxi-
eH in every' Pacific Const city and
addle lmrdshtp on the children lie
'will leae behind birrt. .
If the report of the brutal punishment
of a scldler In the Canadian contingent
of the British Army Is true, it shows
that the British are as far behind the
United States In the matter of treat
ment c f the common soldier as they are
in the use of modern and common-sense
tactics. It is another Illustration of
the fact that England must reform her
"whole military system before she can
lope to make war successfully against
good soldiers armed with high-power
rises, iirutai ana degrading punisn-
ments have been eliminated from the
American Army and Navy, and the
icn continue to fight as well as ever.
and discipline has in no degree been
relaxed. England must draw her offi
cers from the body of the people if she
iHtrould have an army fitted to accom
plish results under present conditions.
A hint frcm Canada that she will recall
her troops if they are not better treated
might open the eyes of the War Office
at London to the evil of harsh and cruel
punishments.
THE CANAL AXD THE TIUSATY.
The article of Henry Wade Rogers in
the Hay Forum is an admirable sum
ming up of the unanswerable argu
ments for neutralization of the Nica
ragua Canal, and against the policy
of trying to insist on fortifications. The
paper is an excellent brief for the for
eign relations committee of the Senate,
whose report upon the Hay-Pauncefote
treaty was so conclusive and satisfy
ing. But when Mr. Rogers uses these
arguments in an effort to set aside the
Senate amendment to the Hay-Pauncefote
treaty, he falls into a transparent
non-sequltur.
Mr. Rogers shows with great wealth
of citation that neutralization of the
canal is not only our own historic pol
icy, but Is the policy as well cf Nica
ragua and Costa Rica and of the na
tions of Europe. With the exception of
Blaine and Frellnghuysen, Secretaries
of State from 1881 to 1885, neutraliza
tion has been affirmed continuously,
and was resumed by Cleveland as it
Is now reaffirmed by Secretary Hay.
All treaties bearing on the subject, no
matter by what nations negotiated,
have recognized the doctrine either spe
cifically or by Implication. It is clearly
shown, moreover, that neutralization,
In any true and consistent sense, ex
cludes fortifications. On this point Mr.
Rogers quotes many authorities, in
cluding Admiral Dewey, who correctly
observes that to fortify the canal would
only make it a battle-ground, and he
might also have adduced Captain Ma
han's theory that our defense of the
Isthmus lies In sea power, that is, a
navy and naval bases, for which Cuba
and Pensacola supply incomparably
the best sites.
One could wish that Mr. Rogers had
offered a modicum of evidence or argu
ment in support of his pure assumption
that the Senate amendment to the
Hay-Pauncefote treaty destroys neu
tralization and carries with it fortifi
cations. The presumptive evidence Is
all against him. The amendment spec
ifies simply this:
It Is agroed. however, that none of tho Imme
diate foregoing conditions and stipulations In
sections 1. 2. 3. 4 and 5 ot this act shall apply
to measures which the United States may find
it necessary to take for securing by Its own
forces the defense of the United States and the
maintenance of public order.
Now the same report that offers this
amendment is specific and eloquent In
defense of neutralization and In oppo
sition to fortifications. The proviso is
borrowed from the Suez undertakings,
and Mr. Rogers' only fault with the
parallel Is to say that we have no body
of water corresponding to the Red Sea
In Its relation to Egypt. It is incum
bent on him to show that control of
the mouth of the Mississippi and the
Gulf of .Mexico Is not quite as essential
to us as control of the Red Sea Is to
Egypt. "Control" in the Suez under
taking does not carry fortifications with
It, and It Is pure assumption to say
that It does concerning the Nicaragua
Canal. The Constantinople treaty pro
vides that "measures which the Otto
man Government might take for the
defense of Its possessions should not in
terfere with the free use of the canal,
neither should they extend to the erec
tion of any permanent fortifications";
and Mr. Rogers says "this restriction of
power is not embodied in the Senate
amendment." One is tempted to ques
tion the sincerity of this utterance, for
though the restriction Is not contained
in the amendment, the omission has a
very good and altogether sufficient
reason. This reason is that the restric
tion Is contained in the treaty itself,
thus:
The canal shall bo free and open in time of
war as in time of peace, to vessels of com
merce and of war of all notions.
No fortifications shall be erected command
ing the canal or the waters adjacent.
The treaty does provide that "the
United States, however, shall be at lib
erty to maintain such military police
along the canal as may be necessary to
protect it against lawlessness and dis
order." Is this not quite properly sup
plemented by the Senate amendment
permitting "measures which the United
States may find It necessary to take for
securing by its own forces the defense
of the Interests of the United States
and the maintenance of public order"?
If not, why not?
LORD ItOBERTS BLUNDERED.
It Is clear today that Lord Roberts
committed a serious blunder, on his oc
cupation of Bloemfonteln, March 15, In
not promptly occupying In strong force
the whole line from Bloemfonteln to
Ladybrand. A cordon of troops holding
Sanna's Post, Thabanchu and Lady
brand would have prevented the Boer
raid to De Wet's Dorp and Wepener.
His failure to occupy this line permit
ted the Boer Invasion of the Free State
southeast of Bloemfonteln. In this raid
the Boer General has been brilliantly
successful. On March 31 the Boers de
feated and dispersed a British detach
ment at Sanna's Post, .within twenty
miles of Bloemfonteln, and on April 2
they held the Bloemfonteln water
works. Five companies of British in
fantry were captured by the Boers
April 4, at Reddersburg, thirty miles
south of Bloemfonteln. Next the Boer
raiders besieged Wepener, just below
the angle on the Basutoland frontier,
and about sixty miles from Bloemfon
teln. Lord Roberts sent half of his
army of 80,000 men to bag the Boers
harassing the flank, but the enemy
slipped away, carrying with him great
supplies of grain and cattle obtained
from this fertile district, besides re
cruiting the ranks of their army and
demoralising the returning loyalty of
the inhabitants in the Orange Free
State.
The losses of Lord Roberts have not
been large, but the success of the en
emy has been of substantial 'conse
quence in restoring the morale of the
Boers, which had been shaken in the
Orange Free State and the Transvaal
by the brilliant- success of Lord Rob
erts in reaching Bloemfonteln. This
Boer raid has postponed the advance
of Lord Roberts doubtless several
weeks, and has given them ample time
to choose their positions and perfect
their defenses on the line of the British
northward march. The success of this
Boer raid will, of course. Insure Its rep
etition on the flanks of his army at
every opportunity. The British line
of supplies is a one-track railroad; the
British Army will be compelled to keep
near to It In the forward movement,
and to guard It closely In rear of the
advancing columns. If Lord Roberts
had. as promptly as possible after his
arrival at Bloemfonteln, secured his
right flank from the Boers by posting a
cordon of troops from Bloemfonteln to
Sanna's Post, Thabanchu and Lady
brand, he would have saved the whole
of the southeast of the Orange Free
State from Invasion and prevented the
destruction, capture and removal of
vast quantities of military food sup
plies in shape of gniin and cattle. The
success of this Boer raid and the easy
escape of the enemy stamps It as easily
the best military exploit thus far
wrought by the Boer commanders.
General Joubert did nothing to com
pare with General Botha's raid in dar
ing, skill and rapidity. The explana
tion of Lord Roberts' sin of omission Is
that he underrated the mobility and
enterprise of the enemy, a thing that
it is very hard for an Englishman to
keep from doing.
MAKE AX EXD OF IT.
There Is less excuse today than eer
before for further dalliance with the
Philippine insurrection. The real lead
ers of the native opposition, its men of
brains and energy, for whom Agulnaldo
served as a figurehead, have nearly all
been captured. But one General of Im
portance, Pio Pilar, still remains under
arms, and he has now but a band of
guerrillas at his back. The Filipino
army is completely dispersed At the
height of its power it contained not
more than 10,000 men who could be
called soldiers In any sense. Most of
these had seen service In the Spanish
army, had been drilled and disciplined
to a certain extent, and were capable
of being maneuvered as troops. The
remainder of the Filipino forces- our
volunteers encountered and dispersed
last Spring were undisciplined, un
trained and timid men with arms In
their hands, about 30.000 with rifles and
bolos and as many more with bolos
only. They scattered like sheep as our
troops advanced upon them, and even
the trained soldiers fled whenever the
Americans charged them. This army
has completely melted away, a few
guerrilla bands, composed chiefly of the
remnants of the real soldiers and
armed with Mausers, being all that Is
left of It In the center of Luzon, where
the real war has been carried on.
The chief fighting of late has been
in the outside provinces with poorly
armed bands of savages who have not
before come in contact with the Ameri
cans. One genuine contact Is generally
enough. J results In a crushing defeat,
with heavy losses to the Filipinos and
slight losses to the Americans. Ex
periences elsewhere seem to be lost
upon them, and each band has to learn
for Itself the impossibility of meeting
the Americans. This Is doubtless due
to the almost inconceivable self-conceit
of the Tagal and to the lying boasts
the Insurgents have continually made
of their great victories. The people of
each new district invaded by our Army
have always, until the actual appear
ance there of the soldiers, believed that
the insurrection was successful and
that the Americans have been defeated
everywhere. Hence they give the
troops a battle, lose heavily, and flee
In terror when they realize their mis
take. In a wild and mountainous country.
Inhabited by a primitive race but par
tially won to the ways of civilization,
as Is the case in the Philippine Islands
everywhere except in the Immediate vi
cinity of Manila and other ports, where
brigandage is common and murder Is
not looked upon with horror, and where
guerrilla life Is considered by thousands
of young men without any family ties
as a more pleasant one than a life In
volving work, an unsettled, seml-war-llke
condition "will prevail as long as
such a condition shall continue to be
treated by us as one of legitimate war.
Tho time has come when outlaws and
brigands, who prey upon the communi
ties they terrorize and murder citizens
and foreigners at will, regardless of
their military status, should be treated
as such. A proclamation should be Is
sued setting a day upon which all arms
must be surrendered, and all acts of
violence and plunder committed there
after should be treated as the deeds of
outlaws and punished accordingly. The
United States owes it to civilization to
put an end to the present condition of
affairs in the Philippines. The military
government should be terminated, civil
rule established, and the country
opened to commerce and industry. The
millions of peaceable citizens should
not longer be made to suffer, directly
by the exactions and Indirectly by
stagnation of Industry and commerce,
from the violence of the few thousands
who are now plundering in the name of
patriotism.
In 1840 Macaulay wrote In a private
letter:
It Is foolish and wicked to bellow for war
merely for war's sake. I would never make
offensive war. I would never offer any other
power a. provocation which might be fair
ground for war. But I would never abstain
from doing whet I had a clear right to do be
cause a. neighbor threatens me with unjust
war; first, because such a policy would, in
the end. Inevitably produce war; and, sec
ondly, because I think war, though a very
great evil, by no means so great an evil as
subjugation and national humiliation.
Macaulay was as thorough-going,
patriotic an Englishman as ever lived.
His father, the son of a Scotch Presby
terian minister, was a lifelong associ
ate of Wilberforce in his long crusade
against slavery, and his mother was of
Quaker parentage; but Macaulay was a
pugnacious man, and, like all great
English statesmen, never surrendered
to Pickwickian philanthropy what was
meant for mankind. He approved of
the military execution at Peshawur
during the Indian Mutiny of 1S57, when
forty men were blown at once from
the mouths of cannon, and wrote: "I,
who cannot bear to see a beast or bird
In pain, could look on without winking
while Nana Sahib underwent the tor
ture of Ravlllac" Macaulay would
never have been a Gladstonian In deal
ing with the Boers, nor an Agulnaldlst
in dealing with the Filipinos.
The theory that Agulnaldo has been
killed by the Igorrotes has more sup
port than the mere fact that he was
last heard from some three months ago
In the wild mountain district Inhabited
by that semi-savage tribe and with but
a mere handful of followers. The
Igorrotes have never been friendly to
the Tagals, who have always treated
them In a contemptuous manner. In
deed, that has been the attitude of the
Tagals towards all of the tribes of Lu
zon and the other Islands whenever
they, have come In contact, and this Is
one of the strongest reasons why a gov
ernment of the natives could not be
maintained there without perpetual
warfare. The Igorrotes are an under
sized race, inferior in Intelligence,
armed with knives, bows and arrows,
spears and blow-guns. They are not
courageous nor warlike, and a small
body of armed men could penetrate
their country with impunity; yet they
would not hesitate to ambush travelers
J or murder them treacherously. It has
always been considered unsafe for
travelers in their country. So long as
Agulnaldo had even a small body of
soldiers with him, he was safe, and
could treat the inhabitants like beasts
of burden according to the immemorial
Tagal practice, compelling them to
carry his baggage and furnish him sup
plies for nothing; but when he became
practically helpless In their country, he
was certainly exposed to great peril,
and his only hope of escaping assas
sination was to get away from that re
gion as quickly as possible. Special
vengeance was declared against him by
the leader of the band of Igorrotes
who was wounded and captured at the
time of the attack upon Manila. He
had been deceived by Agulnaldo as to
the Americans and their fighting quali
ties, and he and his men had been
placed in the front rank with their
bows and arrows and leather shields.
This served to stimulate the ancient
hatred of the Igorrotes for the Tagals,
and made their country a still more
unsafe refuge for the Filipino leader.
Senator Rawlins is justified in his
Indignation at the comparative treat
ment by the War Department of the
Astor Battery and the Utah Battery.
The former was sent home and mus
tered out at a time when every fighting
man worth anything was needed in the
Philippines to meet the threatened in
surrection. Its guns were retained and
given to another organization. Al
though In a soldier's eyes this amount
ed practically to being sent home in
disgrace, the men were given travel
pay and commutation of subsistence.
In contrast with this, the Utah Battery,
a splendid v organization, which re
mained long after its term of enlist
ment expired and did valuable service
In the field, was sent home on crowded
transports and not allowed travel pay.
This Is true also of all the volunteers
who remained to fight, In contrast with
those who were discharged and sent
home earlier. In this matter the re
wards of patriotism and valor seem to
be In Inverse ratio to the service per
formed. Agonclllo's statement that a Phila
delphia firm has offered to supply the
Tagals with munitions of war need not
excite any one nor call for special In
credulity. If the coin were forthcom
ing, no doubt many other American
firms would consider the sale of arms
and ammunition to the Filipino insur
gents, or any other body of men spoil
ing for a fight in any country on earth,
a good stroke of business. Much of the
present supply of arms possessed by
the Filipinos was purchased through a
firm of Americans at Hong Kong, both
prior to the outbreak and subsequently,
and this firm also maintained an office
in Manila, Just across the street from
Army headquarters, where it was con
venient to deal with our own Army In
furnishing khaki uniforms and other
quartermaster's supplies. Greed is not
patriotism.
We shall have grim and terrible as
pects to the Nome rush, just as there
were to the wild and tragic stampede
to the Klondike. The horrifying Clara
Nevada disaster Is more than likely to
be repeated in the same ghastly man
ner. What are the Puget Sound au
thorities doing that they permit vessels
to leave Seattle that are notoriously
unfit for the arduous experiences of the
North Pacific and Arctic Seas? It is
more than suspected that they did not
do their full duty during the excite
ments of 1697-98. They ought to be
made to do It now, before some whole
sale horror advertises their gross neg
lect, or their colossal Incompetency. It
Is one or the other, or both.
The difference between what the Ore
gon farmer nets for home-made butter
and what he might receive through
dealing with the creameries may not
seem large enough to induce him to
change his methods, but it is in taking
advantage of Just such differences that
one merchant or manufacturer suc
ceeds while others fall. Success in
farming rests upon the some foundation
as in other pursuits. Business methods
cannot be Ignored.
Jim Ham. Lewis Is In Detroit for the
purpose of acquainting Mr. Bryan with
the important fact that he Is a Vlce
Presldentlal candidate. Last year
Lewis proposed Schley for the place.
This Is not treason; it is mere fickle
ness; and a great man ought to be priv
ileged to change his mind as often aa
he changes his shirt. In that event,
Lewis would be entitled to a new can
didate every day.
This is the season of favorite sons.
It is an unlucky state that has no Vice
Presidential candidate. Oregon Is rich
In the possession of the Hon. Milt. Mil
ler, the Sage of Lebanon. Mr. Miller
enjoys the rare distinction of having
his own unqualified support for the
Vice-Presidency. No matter, then,
about the indorsement of conventions
or the approbation of parties.
The Nicaragua Canal Is now up to
the Senate. There is the abode of Its
false friends. They will probably have
their way, but much will have been
accomplished If we find out who they
are.
Young Mr. Reld has been carpenter
ing around on a platform until he has
bulldcd one that he thinks ought to
suit the "Citizens" Legislative candi
dates. It will. So will any other.
The mighty O'Day appears to have
displayed great skill and thoroughness
In steering the Democratic machine
into the ditch.
The rebellion against the "Republi
can machine" seems to be spreading to
all the Democratic papers In the state.
Vote of Organized Labor.
Washington Post.
Both parties realize that the result of
the struggle this year will depend largely
on the attitude of organized labor in the
Northwest. Will the prosperity argument,
strong as It is, insure Republican tri
umph? Will discontented labor, will wage
workers who are on strikes, whose fam
ilies are suffering for food, and for whose
support other workers are contributing
a part of their earnings will men thus
situated be more likely to vote for the
party in power than for the opposition?
Today in Chicago, acrording to the Times
Herald, "40,030 honest and capable work
men aro Idle, with $15,000,000 -worth of
work awaiting their acceptance of the
highest average wages ever paid for simi
lar service."
It is understood that the wages and
hours are satisfactory, but that the em
ployers refuse to accede to some of the
demands of the unions. The result is
that 40.000 men, who might be earning
$120,000 a" day, are Idle. This paralyzes
various other kinds of business. It is a
general demoralizer of Industries. And
just this sort of trouble Is likely to
spread through other . trades In many
cities. It is a product of prosperity as
much as of anything else. High wages
and steady employment will not prevent,
but actually stimulate, these disturbances.
And there Is no question that their influ
ence in politics is always adverse to the
party in power.
LEWIS, THE ERUDITE.
Remarks on the Pretensions of the
Washington Statesman.
Alnsleo's Magazine.
"If the human brain was properly lik
ened by De Qulncey to the. palimpsest of
the ancients, that of Jim Ham Lewis falls
to disclose under the fluid action of the
will tho literary treasures committed to
Its keeping. He quotes philosophy, he
quotes poetry, he quotes economics, he
quotes Scripture, he quotes Latin and. al
most Invariably misquotes. But to the
multitude, such are his suavity and ad
dress that his misquotations serve to
clothe him with the dignity and wisdom
of the sage. He has moreover, an amus
ing infelicity in his scholastic flights. He
affects to esteem Hortensius highly, to
revere Cicero as his model, and he has
discoursed glibly about Jeremy Bentham
as his contemporary. In concluding a brief
to be filed in the Stato Supreme Court
once, he mado a lengthy quotation from
Virgil, accrediting it to Homer. "When the
error was pointed out by a law partner,
he exclaimed, indignantly, "Confound that
stenographer!"
In smoothing over his bad breaks, he
la never wonting In readiness of excuse.
On the stump once he scored a political
opponent as a "horrible Centaur with the
head of a human being and tho body of
a snake." When a friend challenged his
information next day, he replied: "That Is
nothing, my dear boy a mere slip of the
tongue."
In his periphrastic deliriums Lewis is
likely to Invent quotations. One of his
common campaign tricks in 1S9S was to
read from the Republican text-book state
ments it did not contain. He has been
caught resorting to the same device In
court; he has been trapped citing authori
ties that did not exist, and quoting from
others wrongly. On one occasion ho felt
Inspired to test his familiarity with Gib
bon, so he attributed to the historian, the
following verbal pyrotechnics:
"Gibbon was right when he said, "Rome
never lost her liberty until the money,
tho life-blood of the country, was sapped
from her vitals by tho hands permitted
to lay themselves upon tho ventricles ot
her free heart, and draw the blood from
hor, and when the light of the republic:
went out, the Ufo of her citizens expired."
Clark's Xerv York Residence.
Senator Clark, of Montana, Is making
preparations to erect in New York cits
tho finest private residence in the world.
He has purchased tho property adjoining
his present residence at the corner of Fifth
avenue and Seventy-seventh atreet, which
will give him room for a large mansion.
Architects are now at work perfecting the
plans, which provide for a picture gal
lery and statuary hall two stories in
height, surrounded by an imposing dome.
This opens Into a state dining-room in
such a way as to give the effect of ono
vast apartment, and a similar arrange
ment will be made with the conserva
tory on the other side.
The most Imposing architectural feature
of tho house will be a marble staircase
running to the top and lighted by a dome
of stained glass. Tho exterior walls will
be of granite and 350 men are now at
work cutting It In Maine. The facade
fronting Fifth avenue will bo what the
architect calls "modernized Louis XTV,"
and will be very ornate. The house alone
will cost $5,000,000, and no limit will be
placed upon the interior decorations.
Yesterday Mr. Clark paid $65,000 for a
lot 102 by 53 feet In size at the corner of
Park avenue and Seventy-sixth street.
New York, where ho will erect a $150,003
stable.
Foibles of the Professor.
"A German professor says a man can be
weaned from the tobacco habit by feeding him
sausages." "Welners, I suppose." Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
"The age of superstition Is rapidly passing,"
said the professor, "Yes," replied the doctor,
"spooks no longer have even a ghost of a
chance." Philadelphia North American.
Bobbs Did you read Professor Tellyscope's
article on how to weigh stars? Dobbs No. But
I suppose jou'd weigh them Just the same as
you would chorus girls, wouldn't you? Balti
more American.
"Professor," the seeker after knowledge In
quired of the great toxlcologlst, "If a tarantula
were to bite you, what would be the first thing
you'd dor' "Yell!" replied tho scientist,
promptly. Philadelphia Press.
"I don't believe professors know so much."
said Mamie. "Why! How can you talk sor
rejoined Maud. "Well. I don't see why Mr.
Fulpate should have seemed so surprised and
puzzled when I asked him how to say "rubber
neck In Greek." Washington Star.
Professor How did you get along with mj
formula for the use of 'shall' and wlirr
Professor's Friend Oh, gracious, man! Before
I had read half way through It I was so be
fuddled that I couldn't remember what It was
I had started out to learn. Indianapolis Jour
nal. Hoar's Prophecy of 1895.
New York Sun.
The Commercial Advertiser prints the
subjoined passage as part of a speech de
livered by Senator Hoar, of Massachu
setts, at tho Pilgrims' day celebration at
Plymouth five years ago next December:
The tree our fathers set covered at first a
little space by the seaside. It has planted Its
banyan branches In the ground. It has spread
along the Lakes. It has girdled the Gulf. It
ha rpanned the Mississippi. It has covered the
prairie and the plain. The sweep ot Its lofty
arches rises over the Rocky Mountains and
the Cascades and the Nevadas. Its hardy
growth shelters the frozen regions of the North
west. Its boughs bang over tho Pacific. And
In time In good time It will send Its roots
beneath the waves and receive under its vast
canopy the Islands of the sea.
Eloquent and patriotic words! Discern
ment and prevision and rhetorical expres
sion worthy of Mr. Hoar at his best!
If. Senator Hoar uttered this prophecy at
Plymouth Rock In 1S05. a hundred anti
expansion speeches by him in 1S0O cannot
efface that noble metaphor of the tree.
A Belated Proposition.
Boston Herald.
The Chicago Times-Herald urges that
the vote on the Quay case should be a
final settlement of the right of Gov
ernors to appoint United States Senators
In cases where Legislatures have had
the opportunity to elect and have failed
to do so. This proposition comes two
years too late. Tho Senate's action In
the Oregon case, when it decided by a
vote of more than two to one that there
was no such right, should have settled
this question. If the Senate would not
agree to It under that preponderance. It
can hardly be relied on to do so now,
when the majority Is but one vote. In
giving this heavy vqte to the side of
Quay, the Senate has trifled with its
own dignity and raised a suspicion of
the stability. If not the Integrity, of Its
members. It Is a heavy blow struck
against the present method of choosing
Senators, and, if repeated, is likely to
bo a fatal one.
A Sham Independence.
New York Tribune.
Mr. Bryan's line of attack has shrewd
ly shifted In ono respect. Seeing tho ab
surdity of denouncing what has been dono
In the Philippines without naming any
other course, he gravely proposes Philip
pine independence protected by the United
States. There are some millions of people
who will not learn until it is too late that
this Nation never has protected Central
or South American Republics, as it would
be forced by International obligation to
maintain independence of tho Philippines.
It has never been responsible for them,
nor contracted regarding their ports or
their respect for property rights. The
millions who think will see that Mr.
Bryan's proposal means nothing but a
sham independence, a fraudulent govern
ment by a small minority of the inhabi
tants, supported and privately controlled
1 by United States bayonets.
M'BRIDE PUSH ACTIVELY AT WORK
The lethargy into which the. city, coun
ty and state campaign has apparently
fallen may serve to deceive tho public as
to tho real situation. Active work is being
done by all parties by the Republicans
openly and. by the Democratic and Mltch-ell-McBrtde
bosses stealthily. Evidence
has reached Portland that legislative can
didates, novo been approached by agents
of McBride and Mitchell with covert
threate that they must pledge themselves
to support the Senator's candidacy, or suf
fer tho consequences. The penalty of re
fusal, of course, would be defeat. So far
as discovered, meager progress has been
made along these lines. The Republican
candidate usually prefers' to maintain his
own digaity and independence and leave
himself free to vote for the moat suitable
candidate et Salem next "Winter. Nor Is
it at all probable that the McBride emis
saries will proceed far In their Implied
threat to knife tho ticket. They command
in tho first place but a small following,
and could, not do a great deal If they were
to try; and in the second place they know
that It will bo suicidal for them to take
the chance of certain exposure by enter
ing into any very extensive conspiracy to
defeat Republicans.
Not all tho McBride "push," however, is
so prudent. There are some so completely
committod to the little Senator's fortunes
that they are determined either to rule or
nrihv They risk their own political future
in setting out on this desperate course,
but their own particular "grafts" are at
stake, anyway, if they do nothing. The
center of this Httlo clique is ir Portland
among the Federal Brigade. Jack Mat
thews and Pierce Mays and a few asso
ciates aro all busy under the guidance of
ex-Senator MltcheiL It is not yet certain
that Collector of Customs Ike Patterson
is doing much but look wise, but probably
ho is. Ike is not interested so much in
McBride as he Is in himself; and he (Ike;
already has his cake and Is eating It. But
Jack Matthews is bolder. Jack is familiar
with all the devices of political outlawry,
and is courageous enough and unscrupu
lous enough to pursue them from sheer
liking. Besides. Matthews Is grateful and
honobt enough to stay "flxed" when
"fixed" at all. So he Is immensely Dusy
these days. He scarcely expects to keep
himself In his present nice place, but he
does hope to keep the other fellow out by
electing a Democratic Legislative ticket,
and that is tho next best thing with him.
Jack is openly forninst tho Republican
ticket because It happens rot to be con
trolled by his present master and will do
all he can to beat it.
It is slow work. It is Impossible to
arouso any great interest in the broken
MitcheJl-McBride cause. Tho bulk of the
old following realizes that it is useless to
keep up tho fight; and they know, too,
that tho only persons who do Insist on
keeping It up ore doing it solely to serve
their personal ends;
The alms of the ailtchell-McBride
leaders were never so plainly ex
posed nnd confessed. The agitation
1st Noafrht to be kept alive by xelf
secklng office-holders. There Is
nothing- else to it -whatever.
Take Mayor Storey's case: "What Is there
behind his oppositloni to the Republican
ticket? Storey was elected Councilman
not Mayor two years ago. After Mayor
Mason died, by sharp politics, he persuad
ed tho City Council to choose him to All
tho unexpired term. Then he aspired to
succeed himself and solicited and actively
canvassed for the Republican nomination.
He was particularly vehement In his op
position to a candidate for the same place
who four years ago had run independent
against the regular Republican nomineo
for Mayor and been, instrumental in caus
ing his defeat. Storey was a delegate to
the Republican city and county convention,
and his fellow delegates from the First
"Ward were named by him. He partici
pated actively In the proceedings of the
convention; and himself placed In nomi
nation one of tho present candidates fot
State Senator. Another was chosen for
tho Mayoralty. Under the circumstances,
it would seem that the obligation placed
upon Storey to support the nominees of
that convention, particularly the nominee
for Mayor, Is so strong as to be morally
binding. He is now In exactly the fame
attitude toward his party as the former
candidate whom he impeached for treason.
"What does ho think of himself? How aro
his actions explicable except on the
ground of personal pique?
Want Tveijrht i the public to Rive
to a candidacy of this kind, Inspired
by such purposes, aiming solely at
personal objects?
Storey claims to be as good a Repub
lican as any delegate to the late conven
tion; but he is evidently too good a Storey
man not to support Storey when Storey is
a bolter.
"Why aro Messrs. Hoy. Greenlcaf. Arm
strong and Jordan pushing their own can.
dldacles respectively for County Treasurer,
Assessor, School Superintendent and Sher
iff? "What particular principle or desira
ble 'public policy do they stand for? 'What
reforms aro they aiming to accomplish?
"What public purpose will their retention In
office subserve? "What claim of superior
efficiency can bo advanced for them?
Their sole platform Is that they
want the offices. Office Is a good
thing: nnd they know a good thing
when they see It.
Having for twice two years experienced
the joys and benefits of a good thing, they
are loath to let go. Office is a profitable
convenience for theso gentlemen. They
care nothing for party unless it helps
them. Not one but would have taken the
Republican nomination if he could have
gotten it, but they did not get it "because
the party had sound reasons for nominat
ing others. In the case of Mr. Hoyt espe
cially, his candidacy is an impertinence.
There is no reason, why the cash
ier of a local bank should be custo
dlan of the count j 'a funds. On the
contrary, there are many sound
reasons why he shoald not be.
The wearisome clamor of Tom Jordan
for office, too, ought to be effectually re
buked. Ho has pursued office pretty much
all his life. It would be Just as well here
after for the county to see if it cannot get
along without him. "We shall have to do
it soma day, and we might as well -begin
now.
Tho substantial Democratic protest
against the sorry "Citizens" ticket is a
rebuke to the party bosses that might
have been expected. O'Day, Burke and
their crowd appear to have thought that
the party was in such a state of demoral
ization that It would be glad to make any
port In a storm. So they cast anchor In
the Mitchell-MoBride harbor. But there
Is an abiding sense of self-respect In the
old-line Democracy, and they refuse to
be sold out. There Is a very considerable
number of Democrats who do not see
what tho party has to gain by striving
for the personal success of McBride or
Mitchell. "What their false leaders have to
gain they are not greatly interested in
J promoting.
N0TB AND COMMENT.
No one can expect tho boiler-makers'
strike to bo a quiet affair.
You will wish you had registered when'
election day comes around.
There Is yet time to bankrupt the treas
ury if tho Council keeps industriously at
It.
Dewey need not look for any flattering
reception in St. Louis. Ho went to Chi
cago first.
Pompeii was punished pretty severely,
but Detroit had "William Jennings Bryan
and James Hamilton Lewis tho same day.
Some of tho disappointed Senatorial can
didates ought to get work as substitutes
from the states that have only ono man
wearing the toga.
A Yamhill County farmer came into
town yesterday and told a policeman that
ho wanted to get rid of several acres.
Tho policeman directed him to a dentist's
office.
A new York actress denies a report
that sho Is engaged. She gets the "ad.,"
though. Just as much as if she admitted
it, and reserves herself for another by-and-by.
A cynical bachelor says that a vounsr
man who killed himself because he was
refused an opportunity to enter the mat
rimonial state, jumped out of the frying
pan Into tho fire.
Tho press dispatches announce that
Roberts is establishing a line of posts
across the country. The censor probably
killed tho news that the Boers are digging
a line of post holes.
David B. Hill related In his Syracusa
speech that a plank favoring the election
of United States Senators directly by the
people was in the original draft of tho
Chicago platform of 1S96, out was stricken
out by the subcommittee on resolutions.
against his earnest protest.
At the last moment Quay's lieutenants
implored Senator "Vest, of Missouri, for
his support, but Mr. Vest stoutly resisted
and stood by his convictions regarding the
law and right of the matter. Senator
Piatt, of Connecticut. Is credited with say
ing that Mr. Vest's moral courage was as
fine a spectacle as he ever had witnessed.
There was a decrease of 21.934 In tho
membership of the Methodist Church last
year, but that was the first year sines
1SS1 to show a decline. Luther Laflin
Mills, the well-known Chicago lawyer,
attributes the decline to the secularization
of the ministry, and the highar criticism.
The Baptist year-book for-lSD3 also pre
sents disappointing figures. There was
a net gain In membership, but only of 39,
691. against 6,1S9 in 1SSS.
It was Franklin who said: "He that
falls in love with himself will have no
rivals," a truism which may be coupled
with Goldsmith's remark that "Men sel
dom Improve when they have no other
models than themselves to copy after."
Samuel Johnson occupies a foremost place
among wits and emiprammatists. He
was usually wise, and seldom so cynical
as when he said: "A second marriage is
the triumph of hope over experience." Tho
mature thought of Napoleon Is a curious
commentary on his own career, namely,
"Love is the occupation ot an idle man,
the amusement of a busy one, and the
shipwreck of a sovereign."
An English paper reports that "Chinese"
Gordon was wont to lead his troops into
action in China, as well as In the Soudan,
armed with nothing but a ridlng-whlp.
Gordon has an illustrious precedent. Na
poleon's cavalry leader, Marshal Murat.
when he headed a charge, often carried
nothing but a ridlng-whlp In his hand,
and playfully slashed the Prussian offi
cers, who attacked him on the Jena cam
palgn, In the face with his whip, leaving
marks which enraged them more than a
saber cut. At a later date Sir Georgo
Paget, who charged with the famous "Six
Hundred," at Balaklava, never used his
sword, save to ward off blows aimed at
him, saylnw afterward In explanation:
that It "was his business to lead his men;
that It was their business to do the butcher
work."
Since Jaggs has been a candidate.
He's led a dlfTrent life;
He takes surprlsln" lnt'rest In
The clothln' of his wife.
He keeps his ch..dren off the street.
An' mokes 'em wash their face.
An says he's proud that all his kids
Was learnt to know their plsce.
He goes to church a lot, an drops
A dollar in the plate;
He never don" like that before
He was a candidate.
He goes out nights to fairs an things.
An" says he's with 'em strong.
An' always wllltn' to assist
To help the cause along, t
He pays a lot o dead-mrse" fills18'
That's run fur years an' years.
An smiles, an says that he's behind
A little bit, he fears.
He tells the tollln' workln'men
Their wages Is too low,
An says when he's elected that
They'll git a better show.
He didn't always act that way.
It's only Just of late;
It's bettered Jaggs an awful lr.t
To be a candidate.
PliEASAXTItlES OF PAItAGItAPHEItS
The Cornfed Philosopher. "When the joko U
on you." said tho Cornfed Philosopher, "do not
let It stay there. Laugh It off." Indlanapolfc
Press.
The Cheerful Idiot "There's no use la a
stingy man trying to run for' office," said th
shoe clerk boarder. "Seems to me," said the
Cheerful Idiot, "he would be the very man to
save the country." IndlanapolU Press.
Following Instructions. "Young Sammio
Spender la carrying out his governor's wishes
faithfully. Isn't he?" "How's that?" "Why,
the old gentleman left instructions In his will
that after his death his dust was to be scat
tered to the winds." Life.
Over the Limit "Your greatest enemy is
whisky." said the parson to an Incorrigible,
member of his flock. "But," said the waywan
one, "you have always told us to love au?
enemies." "Yes," answered the good man,
"but not to swallow them." Chicago News.
"It almost kills mo to stand," moaned the
lady In the street car. "If I don't get a seat
pretty soon I shall Just drop." And It was
only the next day that sho stood up two hours
and a half while sho had a dress fitted. But
then that's . different thing. Boston Tran
script. Hl3 Apprehension. "Do you mean to tell mo
you do not regard a public office as a publla
trust?" "Well." answered Senator Sorghum,
"I don't like to hear It said In Just that way.
Whenever you say anything about trusts and
office-holding In the same sentence people are.
to likely to get suspicious." Washington Star.
Manners. The Boston mamma was thorough
ly out ot patience. "Thareau," she exclaimed,
shaking her 3-year-old son until his outsldo
pair of glasses fell off. "how often must I tell
you not to devour books with your elbows on
the table!" To have a child who Is deficient
In manners Is. In some towns, as sharp If not
sharper than a serpent's tooth. Detroit Jour
nal. Deciphered. '"The toss Is goln' to give a din
ner to some of the boys," said the small poli
tician. "I got aa Invite this mornln. and on
the bottom of It was printed K, S. V. P.
What does that mean?" "I wonder," mused
the ward-worker. "May bo V. P. stands for
Vice-President," " "Oh. I see It now," cried
the other, " "Roosevelt Sure for "Vlce-Presl-Uent.'
"Philadelphia Press.
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