THE TTEW AG1B, POBTTiAOT), OBEGOIT r TOPICS OF THE TIMES TrWWWW ftJSSJSJStjg;SJ0SJ0fjjl The Japanese do not llko to bo called Jnps, but it Is not likely they will cnro to co to war nbout It Dr. Osier's mother Is still nllvo nt the ago of 100, and seems destined to outlive her sou's foolish talk. When the Chinese authorities cap ture n pirate they separate him Into, two parts, and he goes out of busi ness. It tins been discovered that a rat bns a sixth sense. Kven with that, how ever, It frequently falls to discover the proximity of a designing cat Ono of tho learned scientists says that man Is made of sonp. Perhaps that Is why he so often cleans out the treasury when he guts Into office. That Adamloos Eden that Is being established In Texns will do well to nail up a "no, hunting" sign If It Is ex pected to keep Cupid off tho premises. "A traveler dropped a Iramb In n Kus Ian railway station yesterday." Ho may have been n iollto bomb salesman, who considered It no trouble to show goods. Mark Twain thinks tho United States will eventually hocomo n mon archy. Well, it humorist who Is 71 years old has tho right to think queer thoughts. Dr. Dwlght Hlllls says wo need moro ttoctry. There Is danger In making such o statement too public. A lot of would-be jKH'ts arc likely to tnko tho doctor seriously. An Amltyvllle, N. Y., man has Inher ited $1,000,000 became ho went for thirteen years wltluuit drinking n drop of wlilhky. It ought to bo hard after this to convince him that thirteen Is nu unlucky number. Home scientist has discovered that tho north imjIu Is moving southward at (ho rate of twenty miles n year. Now If ho has the courage of his convic tions let him go up to Winnipeg and 0cn a fur store. "Illondes will be only history six hundred years from now," says tho scientists. In the meantlmo thoy nro (tootry, romance, fiction delightful, fascinating fiction. Feel sorry for tho tncii of six hundred years hence. Then) Is a man In Philadelphia who claims to have Invented u smoko con sumer which In two years will save fiKUlgli coal to pay for Itself, Tho eo.il dealers can hardly bo expected to en courage tho line of such a coutrlvntico. All AmerlciiUH of tho future, accord ing to otio of tho scientists, nro to bo like John I). Itockorollcr. In other words, wo nro all to become bald, mid probably there will Ih a chaiico for all of us tr get rich selling stuff that wu nro to claim will muko tho Imlr grow. Tradition says that the llrst Iochji were made In Kiiglaud during tho reign of Alfred the (Ireat, but It was not until civilization had progressed to the middle of tho fourteenth century that their use became general, and only at tho highly civilized period of tho nine teenth century that steel vaults, burglar-proof safes and such things be came necessary. Tho Immediate and nlM:uiortant question Is not why tho frequent wrecks aro so destructive, but why they should lw allowed to occur In the first place. Steel cars, of courso, are better than wooden, but thero would bo no complaint of danger front tho latter If tho numlter of wrecks could Ik reduced In this country to what experience abroad shows to bo tho un avoidable minimum. Tho mere pros pect of collision-proof cars In tho dim future will hardly divert public atten tion from the task In hand, which Is to prevent tho consequences of colli sion by abolishing collisions. Young men of an adventurous turn of mind who lament that thero la no longer any real excitement to be had In the Sou t Invent need only to crown tho Mexican boundary lino In tint nolhlKrlHK)d of NognleM, Arls., and KO after the Ynqul Indian. They will not Imvo to hunt very long for nil the excitement that they need. The Ynquls tiro brave, fierce nnd perfect gluttoua for lighting, as the Mexican govern ment knows to Its cost Indeed, If there nro any boldlera of fortune out of work they can Bectiro tho contract of exterminating tho Ynquls. They may not complete the Jon, hut they will have the time of their Uvea attempting It. Keep your thoughts on puro nlr In the home. Don't bo afraid If It is a little cold. None of Peary's party caught cold nil the time they were In roglonu away below zero, Puro, un adulterated cold In healthful. It Is not nil tho time pleasant, but one can wrap up Mulltcteutly to provide against the discomfort or It. That l eaxy, That Id what they do with consumptives wrup them up warmly and put them out Into tho fresh, cold air. It Is not the cold that hurts; it Is tho draft which disturb tho temperature of the body and consequently tho equilibrium of the circulation, which In turn stuffs tip tho capillaries, .nnd there you are 'ncezlnf. wheezing, .coughing, hawking, fronting and itnalting, yourself a public calamity. A respected business man killed him' self recently because his wife's affec tions had been stolen. What of It? Nothing out cvf the lordlnary, perhaps, save that the sulelflo left a note to, the coroner, In which he recommended tho passage of laws making home-wreckers criminals nmennble to a punishment of thirty yenrs' Imprisonment. There's something to think about In that Of course, tho self-murderer was a cow ard. Hut that does nut alter the fact that the man who entered his home nnd filched the wife's affections was worso than a coward. The Innocent child who i steals a loaf of bread from a bakery to keep her brqthers and sisters from star vation Is n criminal In the eyes of tho , law. The crawling thing that betrays friendship jind squirms Into a good man's home, stealing nil that Is best ; nnd purest In his life what Is he? Crimi nal? In the eyes of tho law, no. Scoun drel? In the pye's of his fellow crea tures perhaps. A loaf of bread. A good woman's lore. An Innocent child. A cowardly scoundrel. The law. The suicide was right. There Is something wrong somewhere. The iifWHjiaK;r may bo depressing muling for the young woman whoso ambitions outsoar her conditions. In a Hlngle Ikmio she may perhaps see tho picture of a woman who has climbed several of tho world's hlguest moun tains; may read of another woman who has achieved success In musical como sltloii, and of a third who has written a popular play; nnd may read the ro IHrt of an address by a woman who i a. dairy commissioner, and who Is ready to throw tho light of modern sclonco on tho chemical problems of butter nnd cheese making. TIimo varied occupa tions with their rewards may make "the trivial round, tho common task" reem Hat and dull to tho vlllago girl whoso activities nro bounded by her l.orlr.on, She counts over her day's ttihks. She has been up betimes to help with tho breakfast, has mado nn oven fill of delicious pumpkin plot, and has swept halls and stairs. Then she has gone through the week's mending, nnd has ended the day by sitting for two hours with a sick neighbor, nnd by at tending n choir rehoarsal. Hut moun tains and music, drama nnd chemistry these are nil out of her line. Are they really better than her cheerful houso wirelines nnd kindly Mrvice? In tho largest view of life, hors Is the nobler task. Music, drama, athletics and even npplled science are tho luxuries the frills nnd furbelows of extstonce. Wlralesomo food, household cheer nnd nclghborllncss nro tho essentials of civ ilization. Without them wo revert to barbarism. If wo mutt choose between tho woman who composes a symphony rind tho woman who makes n tempting luinb stew, tho musician shall go. For tunately, thero Is room In modern so ciety for nil talents. Hut as nccoiu pllshmonts grow moro numerous nnd al luring, wo must bewnro lest we turn the whole fabric of life upside down by sotting Its luxuries nbovo Its essen tials. RETORT OF THE REPORTER. Ills I.wat Ilomark Hilda Conversation with llallrniul lralilent. Charles M. Jacobs, tho chief engineer of tho Pennsylvania Hallroad tunnel ttndor tho North Illvcr, recently con ducted n party of railroad olllclals and leporters through the superb tunnol on toot, nays tho Pittsburg Dispatch. At one Htago of tho program thero was romo alight delay nnd Mr. Jacobs hold with n laugh to n reporter: "Wo nre not very punctual, eh? We nro liko n little country railroad that I tued to rldo on. "To tho president of this road n re tortor wont hurriedly ono evening. '"I understand,' ho snld, 'that thore has been nn accident on your line to night.' " 'Oh, you do, do youV snld the presi dent with n sneer. " 'Yes, sir.' And tho reporter waited, pencil in hnud. "'What do you know about this ac cident?' tho president, still sneering, linked. "Nothing, except thnt It happened to the 0:15 train,' the reporter meekly answered. "Woll,' snld the president, 'that train came In on time to the minute.' "'Aro you sure of that! said the reportor. "'Of course I am, sir.' 'Tho dtsnppolnted-reporter pocketed his tools: "'I suppose,' he said, thoughtfully, 'that must have been the accident re ferred to.'" IlealthfulBMSi of Napa, Prolonged "40 wlnka" during the dny nro Hovvrcly condomnod by many doc tors on tho ground that they affect ono'H rejrular alevjv. Scientists tmv found ttmt, ordinarily, In tho human being thore Is the jcrvatcut vitality be tween 10 n. in. aud U p. m., nnd tho least between - o'clock and ti o'clock In tho morning. Loug ileenri during the day Interfere with this ordor of nature and sometime affect various organs, causing headache. The nap of 0 winks, but only 40, proves re freshing to many because It Is too hliort to Imvo any injurious conse quences. Trel nuit Kituentton. ltacon Don't you think travel Is a great educator? Kgbert Oh. yes ; a man would never know that car windows were not made to open easily unlosu he traveled." Youksrs Statesman. I PASTCDRIZCD DAIRY COMPANY lac rMtcnrlied Milk, Cresm; Duller, Ekes, Cottage Cheese, Cheese, Jlutter Milk. QUALITY ICK CUEAM Milk 4 per cent guaranteed Phone East MG2 D0 lluitcll Street I'OUTLAKD, OBSOOK rion Pidflc Hit Work Done On Short Koike The Never Regret Cleaning and Pressing Parlor Cleaning, I'rcsslni ik, Dyeing and Illciialrlnjr. Dry rlratiliiK a Hni-laHy, Yott Walt. Steam anil French Hulls I'rcstcil While 132 N. Sixth Street, PORTLAND. OREGON Michigan Company II. CHAW, I'roprlotor Phone East 280G 154 Grand Avenue rrjfCfln llnflPPflKinO Ifi .. ..i w Incorporated Funeral Directors and Embalmers LADY ASSISTANT I'hono Main (133 POJITLAND 409-411 Alder Street OUKQON THE BUREAU SALOON FRANK HOFFMAN, 1'ronrletor Choicest Imported and Domcitio Wines, Liquors and Cigars Telcphono Main M00 Southeast Corner First and Morrison I'OItTLANI) OUKQON A. H. Willett & Co. Whotcsalo and Itetall GROCERS Special Price to Restaurants, Prompt Delivery Phone East 283 128 Grand Avenue H. Washington, Prop. I,. Wilkinson, Manager The Alpha Fine Wines, Liquors & Clears NICELY FURNISHED ROOMS Headquarters for Itnilroad and All Pro fessional People, Phone Pacific 151 101 N. Park 8t., PORTLAND, OREGON A. H. Griswold iiuvccisortoGllISWOLD A l'HEOLKY TAILOR No Drnnoh Store) 131 Sixth St. PORTLAND, OREGON OUR BRAND Norse Collars Farmers, Teamsters anil Horsemen, look to our Interest. Wbeu In ntd of llorio Collars, buy the best tho SHARKEY COLLAR It has stooil the lest of vroar and tear and cllmato (or twenty years. Ask your diali-r for them and Insist on haying; tho "Khar key." P. SHARKEY & SON Portland, Oregon ( fflXtf PiteH mMMMMMi BHM TlvAJD. OF-0, OLYMPIC. A Flour Whose Best Endorsement Is the Fact that the Number of People Who Use It Multiplies Every Year T 0 UV for Tine Wines and Liquors, call at THE WEST O. HUMUS, i'rop. fine wines,- Liquors and Cigars I'hone l'aclflc 1900 18 N.rourlecntb St. 1'OUTLAND, OllE. NEW ALBINA CAFE PATTERSON k McDOUGALL, Ptopi. Fine 'Wines & Liquors Tho Old Corner Cor. Russell Av. & Alblna St. Phone East 4380 Portland, Ore. LODELL'S PLACE A. E. I.ODKI.L, Proprietor Fine Wines, Liquors and Cigars WEJNHAKD'S BEER Telephone I'nclflp 1WI 414 North Nineteenth fit PORTLAND, OR. Pioneer Soda Works GUNDEL, llHOrl. t CO. Manufacturers of SODA WATER, EXTRACTS, SYRUPS, ETC. Factory, 416 Water 8trcet Telcphono, Main 2300 1'OItTI.ANI) onnaoN Crane Bottle Co. Wholesale Pealors In BOTTLES Carry tho larg. at stock of Bottles on tho Pacific Coast. Mall Order slilr. ments given prompt attention Office, 14th and Couch Sts. PORTLAND, OREGON STAR BREWERY NORTHERN BREWERY CO. Bicwmj and Dottier) of HOP GOLD FORTLAND OFFICE: Corner East Third and Buruldt Street "The Judge Demands the Best" LA TOCO Key West Clear EL PATERNO Ten-Cent Leader SIGHT DRAFT King of Five-Cent Clears W. S. Conrad .Mlnnuu uV Distributor St. I'u tSittvn.Vv3ftMNt Mvxmrjmv, PEERLESS SODA CRACKERS MAZAMA BISCUITS Ask your grocer for tlioin nnd tako no otlior kind if you wunt tiie best. THE TQXE POIHT OYSTER CO. 29 Seooid St., Portland, Or. Tslsphonu MAIN ooa Sola Irowars of tbi Calibntid Toke PointOysters An Ksitsrn Oyster TrstMplanUd nd vrown on our bJs at TOKELAND, WASHINGTON "UNKQUAI.KD IN VLAVOU AND yilESUNEtW" Cannery at South Bend, Wash. Wholesale Dealers in All Varieties of Native Oyoters. COFFEE,TEA4 1AMN6 POWDER, FUWfWHO EXTRACTS tlMuNSsiihr. FirtcslFlivDr, OraivrilSrih.l)MMrU(frki CL05SET&DEYERS POUTLANO, OMKSON. Vw s4$P$2. . J ELDERBRAU GROTTO EMCKSON & BEKO, Irons. Fine Wines, Liquors and Cigars 54 Sixth Street MAIN 4102 PORTLAND, ORE. WESTERN SODA WORKS JUGIIKMICIt & CItAMEH, Props. Manufacturers of Carbonated Ilcver nges, Hyrup, Extract-, Mineral Waters and Champagne Cider. Hole distrib utors of fc'odavillo Mineral Water. Phono 1'acJllo 1703. Office and Factory, 204 Mill Street PORTLAND, OREGON 1 THE LIGHT THAT'S BRIGHT C. Electric light is pre-eminently the light of happy content. It dispells gloom, dinginess and discourage ment. Light homes make light hearts. C. Electric light is practical lighta light that is at once clean, convenient and eco nomical. At the prevailing rates for current on meter basis it is well within the means of all, and when used sensib ly economically electric light is as cheap as it is good. CIS YOUR HOUSE WIRED? C. PHONE MAIN 6688 for OUR REPRESENTATIVE. He will prove these state ments with facts and figures PORTLAND RAILWAY LIGHT & POWER CO. FIRST AND ALDER STRRETS The SAVINGS BANK of the Title Guarantee & Trust Company PAYS 4 Per Cent St Yearly Interest On Savings Accounts Interest Compounded Semi-Annually We Also Pay 4 Per Cent Interest on Certificates of Deposit And 3 Per Cent on Daily Balances of Check Accounts Sate a Dollar Today and It Will Work for You Toforrow A Hank Account is the first step to ward happiness, prosperity and comfort Hanking Hours, U a. in. to 4 p. in. ; Saturdays, 0 a. in. to 1 p. m. ; Saturday evenings, 6. p. m. to 8 p. nt. D1RKCTORS Win. M. Ladd, J. Thorhurn Hots, T. T. Uiirklmrt, Frank m. warren, ueorgo 11. tun. OFFICEHS-J. Thorbnrn Koss, Pres ident; Geortie II. Hill, Vice President; T. T. Uurkhart, Treasurer; John E. Aitchleon, Secretary. 240 Washington Street Corner Second PORTLAND OREGON PORTLAND COFFEE & SPICE CO. Importers and Manufacturers Tea, Coffee. Spices, Extracts and Baking Powder 24 onn 26 Front Street PORTLAND, OREGON Lewis & Clark Cigar Co. CIGAR MANUFACTURERS Ask for tho Celebrated Lewis & Clark Cigar 2j4c Sacajawea 10c UNION MADE Phone Pacific 2263 PORTLAND KING & GILMORE Telcphono UNION 4068 Real Estate Dealers Everything in the Best Properties Jersey Street ST. JOHNS, OREGON H. HENDERSON Real Estate I08M Jersey Street, ST. JOHNS, OREGON I have cliolco Business nnd Rosidonco Tracts in all parts of tho city. Corr ppourionco solicited from non resident ownorH of property or thoso foeklng iuvcHtmcnts liero. ABBETT All Kinds of Galvanized Iron and Tin Work a Specialty ALL WORK GUARANTEED NOT TO LEAK! Agent for Quaker Mfg. Co.'s Steel Furnaces UO Union Avo. North Shop Piiono Knot 0177 ltosldunco Phono East 180S- I JAMESTOWN, N. D. j The Seiler Co.. OSCAR J. SEILER. AttorneystUw President Paid Up Capita! and Surplus $35,000- Collections Investments Real Estate Jamestown, North Dakota 1IY HAII. AND WATKK Columbia River Scenery REGULATOR. LINE The excursion steamer "BAILEY" GATZEK 1 " makes round trips to CAS CADE LOCKS ovory Sundav, leavlnir I'OKTLANn at 0 a. m., returnlne ar rives 0 p. m. Daily service between Portland and Tho Dalles, except Sunday, leaving Portiand at 7 a. m., arriving' alwut 6 p. ni.. carrying freight and passengerH. Splendid sccommodations lor outfits aud livestock. Dock foot of Alder street Portland : foot of Court ctreot, Tho Dalles. Tele phone Maiu 014. Portland. ASTORU&COLUMBII A RIVER RAILROAD CO. Tw siiqMI Passengef ins Wt WITH THROUGH PARLOR CARS srrwsiM Portland. Astoria Seaside litres vmiok Dsro ArrlTet. Kor MTKrs, Kln. ler.C'Ulskanle Wcstpori, Clifton, Asiorls, Wurren ton, FUre), Ur bs.it l'rkauao. Ue. AtorU A 6Mbor hxpiet Dalljr. Aiiorls Express Dlly. piir S;0Ut.ia. DI1t. U:U s. m. 7:00 p.m. :40 p. m. ?. A. 8TKWA UT. J. C. M AVO Coiam'l Agt.. 2U AlJerSt O. F. ii'.A Telophon Main 90S. Npifc4Hsa