10
THE HOOD RIVER NEWS, WEDNESDAY, JUYL 19. 1911
It Looks Good...
The Mountain the snow and Table Queen
'Bread on top. It's as good as it looks. J J
Pure, Sweet, Fresh, wholesome Royal Table
Queen Bread is the Best Bread MadeAA
Your dealer makes less profit on Royal Bread
but it gives satisfaction. It doesn't cost YOU any more
ROYAL TABLE QUEEN BREAD IS ALWAYS FIVE GENTS THE LOAF
DOWN TOWN
Wood's Grocery
Third and Oak
ON THE HEIGHTS
Fred E. Dean
802 Pine Street
your flKlit f, in) matter wuat the loud"
you are carrying, do not enter the
lough of despoud, do Dot despair.
Borne time there will come relief, noma
THE THINKING
GERMAN
By SARAH BAXTER
Copyright by American Tress Asso
ciation, tail.
Being a woman with no children and
not content wltli tii' i i ui:itlm house
keeping alone pive me. I decided to fit
into the buiness of rai.-in sijiinhs for
market. Having nniile room In uiy
buck yard, I erected dovec-ntes there
and put in a dozen piiir of pigeons.
About the time I Leu-mi to t hink of xell
Iuk uiy surplus iu countiiiir jiiy youm;
bird I missed several of them. There
wan a leak some where.
Kehliid our place, facing on another
road, was a shanty in which, lived a
(iTinan cobbler named Hans Schrel
ler. One night, hearing a noise In my
buck yard. I went out with n dirk
lantern and Mashed it on SchrciLer get
1 1 n tr over the back fence, lie was
warned that the next time he was
caught in our yard he would be prose
cuted under the law. He put on a
gient deal of Injured Innocence, but
continued to steal my mjuabs. Finally
I caught hi in iigain, had him arrested
and the net morning appeared ugalnst
li i in la court.
".lutrli." lie said to the court, assum
li.ir the expression of a martyr, "I leaf
It to you wedjer a poof man like me
an effort to eat sijuap. How woult
I know I like snuap If I don't know
low dey taste. I got to puv 'em first.
Iiafn't I, to know wedder I like 'em?"
"That's a very Ingenious argument,
Hans." said the pross-u1or, taking up
the case, "but it won't work. I'ld you
never taste any klt.d of game duck,
quail, (nil'?"
'Neff. r. Io you take me for a ahen
tlenmn?" "You're eaten young chickens,
haven't you?"
"I'rollers: You think I can nffort to
eat pr .ilers? All t' proilem go Into
f houses of shentlemen like you. Pe
sitcM. ven V prollers are two years
oil I don' like 'em."
"How can a broiler l two years
old?" asked the prosecutor. "I should
consider n chicken two years old a
pretty aged bird."
"A proller not e two yeara olt!
I I'm I Yo' go to t' colt storage liouse.
Yo' flnt 'cm free, four, fife years' olt"
"We're not trlng the cold storage
men." unld the prosecutor. "We're
trying you. Hans Khrelbcr. for steal
Ing Mrs Perkins' squabs. What did
)ou eat for breakfast this luorulngT"
"Shush ge."
"Anj-thlng elseT"
"Hrent 1111(1 I'lffi."
"Are j oil sure you didn't eat squab?"
"Sure."
"llaus. did you ver hear of Ilerr
Roeutgeh51' "
"No."
'Tie discovered a process by which
one may look Inside the body and see
what's there."
Hans looked uneasy.
"Now I'm going," continued the pros
ecutor, "to use one of those machines
to look inside your stomach, nnd if I
find squab there his honor will stid
you up for a long term. If you will
confess I'll ask him to let you off with
a small fine Just enough to pay for
the birds you have stolen. Now. will
you submit to the test or confess?"
"Vat Is f priucible of f machine?"
asked Schrelber.
The lawyer was a bit staggered.
"The principle 1 that a peculiar light
called the ISoentgen ray Illuminates a
man's Inside nnd shows what is there."
The prisoner thought awhile, then
said:
"I like t' see how dat Is done. You
show me vat you hat for breakfast dls
morning, und I tell you what 1 do."
"Come, come," said the lawyer stern
ly, "enough of this. Send for the
machine.'"
He whispered to an attendant to go
to an optician near by and bring n
certain instrument he designated.
When it arrived the German looked at
It with much Interest. It consisted of
two brass cylinders, with glnsses at
each end, mounted on nn upright.
"Now, Hans," said the attorney, "be
fore applying the test I'll give you one
more chance. Will you confess?"
Hans hesitated. The Instinct of in
vestigation Indigenous with his race
struggled with his fear of detection.
At last ho said:
"If you flnt the squnp in my stom
ach how long for I go to shall?"
The lawyer looked at the Judge, who
was wat' lilng this new method of trial
much amused.
"Thirty days," said his honor.
"I risk It," said Hans. "Look Into
my stomach."
"I withdraw the charge," I said,
coming tA the lawyer's rescue.
"The charge Is withdrawn," said the
Judge, struggling to repress laughter.
"Prisoner. If another such charge Is
made against you and you nre proved
(TCllty I'll send you up for six months."
"I vunts to s-e," said the prisoner,
"vat vent tmh my stomach dis morn
ing." "That's not necessary now." said
the prosecutor, "since the charge has
ts-en withdrawn and his honor has dis
missed the case,"
"Jutch," persisted Hans, "I vants to
know If the machine ran do the von
derful t'Ings the slientli'tnan says It
can do. I'm reaty to go to shall to
find that met."
The Judge winked at the prosecutor,
who placed the tubes against the Ger
man's stomach and. after protending
to look Into It, said to the Judge.
"Since the case bus lcon dismissed,
IUr lionet, I wll snj tiiat S'luab, Js
l.".':i!y visible In the liian's stomach."
"i!nv. haw!" laughed Hans. "Dot
Machine Is no goot. I didn't eat squap
this morning. I eat n shh-kon vot I
took from anudder voman's henroost."
Riding a Colt.
If a young colt Is ridden or driven
several miles over cobblestones or even
over a pike or gravel road he may be
stove up for life. A colt's legs and
feet nre filled with soft and tender
bones, and his muscles and sinews are
easily stretched and torn. Bones are
not iron, nnd they easily crumble un
der strain and pressure, and tendons
often pull loose from where they are
grown to young bones, and they can
not be grown back ngnln. It takes a
colt of almost Iron legs even at two
years old to carry the lightest boy and
run fast as far as a mile. Few race
horses ever pull through training with
good sound legs nnd feet. New York
Press
fcarly Newspaper Ads.
Advertisements In newspapers, as
we know them today, were not gen
eral till the beginning of the eight
eenth century. In fact, prior to that
time It was dangerous to attempt such
n thing. For Instance, there was a
penalty of 50 for advertising a re
ward with "No questions to be asked"
for the return of the things stolen,
half of which was paid by the adver
tiser nnd half by the printer. In addi
tion to this, there was a duty on ad
vertisements according to the number
of lines, which amounted to anything
from a few fennles to several shillings
per nd. This duty was not fairly aliol
Ished In Great Britain until the year
1":?. -New York American.
Th Governess' Paradiee.
Any Kngllsh governess may do
worse than go to Majorca if the case
mentioned by Mrs. Mary Stuart Boyd
In "The Fortunate Isles" can be taken
as typlcnl. "She will not get a large
salary," she says, "for money has a
higher value In Majorca than In Brit
ain, but she will Ik treated like a
princess, t know of one ense where a
Palma family, who had engaged an
Kngllsh governess, went to the trouble
ami expense of having a bedriKim spe
cially di'cornted and furnished for her,
after a high nrt chnmlsT pictured In
the 'Studio.' that the expected guest
might feel more at home than If her
room had lieen fitted up In the native
fashion."
Always.
Time haunted her. She laughed at
him. she resorted to a thousand devices
whereby to discomfort him, but he was
not to lie shaken off. At length she
lost her temper.
"Can't you see," she flared out re
luctantly, "that there's no room for
you where lieauty dwells?"
"There Is always," Time rejoined,
touching bis scythe significantly, "room
for odu mower!" Puck.
THE MERE MAN'S
VIEWPOINT
THE STOUT HEART WINS
By BYRON WILLIAMS
THE woman to whom has been
revealed the truth knows what
a mistake It is to give oneself
despair. Then everything Is
lost! History teems with stories of
men and women who but for despair
might have won. Literature Is loaded
with instances of Individuals who by
holding out a little longer might have
"lived happily ever after."
Sir Tannhiiuser, the legendary hero
of Oermuny, escaping from the thral
dom of sensual passion, sought abso
lution at Home from the pope, who
said, "Y'ou can no more hope for par
don than this dry wand enn bud and
bear loaves."
Tannhauser. giving up to despair,
went his way, nnd. behold, the pope's
staff miraculously sprouted: Messen
gers were sent to And Tannhauser, but
he was gone. Instead of hoping ho
had abandoned himself to the nwful
blackness of sorrow and had disap
peared. Woman, Tannhntisor would have
been nbsoVved, be would have been
restored to happiness and to love, If
he had stood out against despair.
Consider the case of the Babylonian
lovers ryrnmus and Thlsbe. To the
tryst at Nlnns' tomb came Thlsbe.
Driven away by a lion, she fled to a
place of safety. Tyranuis, arriving at
the tomb and liellevlng his Isdoved
Thlsbe was dead, gave himself up to
despair and killed himself. Thlsbe, re
turning, found her lover cold In death
and took her own life.
Had Py ramus embraced hope In
stead of despair the story would hnvo
had n most delightful ending, or might
not have been written at all.
In Matthew Arnold's poem, "Tris
tram and l.soult," Tristram, lying
wounded, awaits the coming of Isolde.
If the white Hag were hoisted It was
she that approached. When told the
sail whs blin k Tristram gave up and,
courting death, died before Isolde, un
der the white sail, arrived.
Just a little more hope, Just a little
more faith, and ail would have been
well.
How many defeats have been turned
Into victories hv some brave heart that
refused to Is- conquered! How ninny
armies have gone down to defeat Isv
rause they lacked a lender possessing
the characteristic that makes a man
fight on and on against great odds, de
fying defeat, knowing no conqueror,
acknowledging no subjugator!
A.nd, rou. womnti ao tnnttej what
i
i'svt nor
2 V
mm
Till STOUT HEART WINS.
time the sun will shine, some time
right must conquer might.
Despair dulls the mind, stops the
flow of pulsing blood In your veins,
uial.es an invalid of you. Hope feeds
the spirits and quickens the body. In
the garden of hope grow flowers for
every hand. Mope Is un enchanter, a
tunic, u pauacea for all Ills.
AH about me In the city I see men
who have given up the battle lu the
turmoil of trade. I see men broken
uud dls irited, men who have aban
doned Iio;e and embraced despulr.
Henceforth for them there will be no
sun shiuln,: through their cypress
trees. All ahead is blackness und ob
livion. Tuey u''e the wreckage that floats up
from ( lie great sea of endeavor, the de
bris of commercialism. I'pon the
shore of failure there lie thousands of
these wrecked hopes that now are
symbols of despair, but upon that long
shore line cannot be found one man
with hopi in his heart.
Hope la an old friend. It comes to
us at cradle time nnd will lie coustunt
and true, even beyond the grave, If we
wl'.l but make a confidant and a com
panion of it. Despair Is a stranger
uat conies to us later In life to give
teais to our eyes and aching pulns to
uur hHrts.
Despair usurps the place of happi
ness and, rude beyond measure, drives
from the citadel of our lielng all those
things that make life glad and happy
and worth living. And when all the
dear things of our being have been
beaten out of us by this monster It
gives nothing in return but sorrow and
Bitterness and woe.
Be on your guard, madam. When
despair leaves Its visiting card at your
front door take warning lest it come
again and again and ruin your life.
CHEAP PAVEMENTS DO NOT PAY
"The concrete hlghwii.v laid by the
city from Overltind Park, southward
to the city limits, near Petersburg, Is
not proving; satlnlm-tory," says the
IVnver, Colorado, Times. Mayor
Speer said today that the concrete
probably will be covered with tar
ami sand, or with some other mix
ture In an effort to save It.
"'The concrete highway war Over
land Park, said the mayor today,
was laid as an experiment.". "Con
crete Is cheaper than asphalt or
other paving; material, and we were
anxious to use concrete If It was
found practicacle. It Is breaking; off
where heavy wagons have run. This
kind of highway has no resilience, Is
solid, noisy and brittle. We probab
ly will cover It over with a coating
of tar and spread some gr ivel on It.
This will make It waterproof. We
do not know that the coating will
not wear off In a short while.' " Adv
Best Wyoming lump coal In nny
quantity. Transfer V Livery Co.
Phone '
When you feel Iiz,
Btretchy, Half BIcH.
llluo ana Out or Boris,
lock to the Liver; It Is
Torpid.
HERBINE
Is the Remedy Yob Meed.
It Is nn Invlgomtlng tonle for
a torpid liver. The drat dose
brlnas Improvement, a few days
uso j'uts the liver in fine vigor
ous condition. Heroine also ex.
tends its restorative Influence .
to tlio stomach and bowels. It B"
helna digestion and food asslml- p
lulion, nurillcs the bowels and
brings back tlio habit of regu-
lnr dally bowel movements. L
lien the stomach, liver and
bowels aro active, bilious Im
purities no longer obstruct
functional processes, the result
of which Is renewed enerity,
mental activity and cheer tul
spirits.
Irlr4 ROe per Itotlle.
d JsmesF.Dallard.Prop. St. Louis. Mo.
U;o Stephens Eye Salve for
Soie tyes. it Cures.
N.-iu And hi conn cn did Bvl
CI IAS. N. CLAHlii;
It
Plumbing Supplies
We sell to all at Wholesale Prices
Help us Fight the Trust
We also carry a larpre and complete stock of second hand
Pipe for irritratintf purposes. This pipe is all threaded
and with new couplings. Guaranteed absolutely first class
4-inch Pipe ilAc Per ft
1- inch Pipe 354c per ft.
2- inch Pipe 6l2c per ft.
Prices on larger sizes of pipe promptly furnished on re
quest We can fill your bill no matter how lar-re or small,
at prices that will positively save you money.
Write us for prices before buying elsewhere.
J. SIMON & BROTHER
POKTLAM), OkKtiO.N
Front and (irant Streets
S. E. BARTMESS
Funeral Director and Practical Embalmer
KSTAHMKHF.n 18 YKAKS
MOOD RIVER, OREOON
AN AD. IN TMli NEWS MAKES IJUSINE5 BETTER
A Dainty Enameled
Bedroom
Don't you admire a light, dainty bedroom with
immaculate linen and draperies, and with walls, furni
ture and woodwork all enameled in pure white or
some delicate tint such as ivory or pale blue? You
can have one it is not expensive.
ACME QUALITY
ENAMEL (Neal's)
gives a hard, sanitary, lustrous, genuine enamel
surface, easily kept bright and clean.
It is offered in delicate tints or rich
colors to harmonize with draperies and
furnishings.
E. A. FRANZ CO.
J