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THE ASTORIAN • THuRSdAy, July 14, 2022
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IN ONE EAR • ELLEDA WILSON
KEATON’S PRIDE
ASTOPIA
n the summer of 1889, Elizabeth Leslie Ashton spec-
ulated, in The Daily Morning Astorian, about what
1914 Astoria would look like.
She would arrive in a “fireless locomotive,” pow-
ered by generating its own electricity, which could hit
90 mph, flying over copper rails. The “surplus electric-
ity” would supply energy for several miles on each side
of the track, and a new cereal grain would be grown in
the “diffused rays of the electric light.”
She would stay at the Bellevue hotel, on a promon-
tory near Tongue Point, built of glass and iron, accom-
modating over 3,000 guests, and overlooking the Asto-
ria Industrial School. A grand library with 75,000 books
would also have been built.
Astoria would be “well supplied with cable rail-
ways,” and an elevated railway, and it would only take
an hour to get to Clatsopus, a collection of resorts down
the coast. There would be a suspension bridge to Tilla-
mook Rock, as the lighthouse would have been blown
down in 1898; two lightships would take its place.
Smith Point would be the most populous area of
Astoria, and there would be several iron and steel mul-
tiple-story business buildings. The former shipping
channel would be covered with businesses and railroad
tracks, and surrounded by a massive sea wall with tur-
rets and defensive gun batteries; the new shipping chan-
nel would be out by the sands.
The newest balloon service would take only three
days from Astoria to Manhattan, and there would be 13
railroads in the area.
The 1910 census would list 764,828 residents on the
Astoria peninsula (San Francisco had about 415,000).
There would be immense coal mines southeast of Asto-
ria, smelting works in Walluski, a factory at Fort Clat-
sop and an endless supply of oyster shells in Warren-
ton, among other manufacturing wonders.
Even then, she thought salmon quinnat would be
extinct from overfishing by 1914. And, she hoped,
“women that do what is usually considered ‘men’s work’
are paid men’s wages …”
Plus, she opined that every student would be
expected, “to be able to read intelligently, write a legible
hand, add, subtract, multiply and divide figures rapidly
and correctly, and talk English so as to be understood.
It’s a new idea, and is said to work well.”
I
tidbit for movie buffs: “Long before ‘The
Goonies,’ there was ‘The General,’ one of
the first major motion pictures filmed in Oregon,”
The Astorian sports reporter Gary Henley wrote.
“The 1926 silent film starred Buster Keaton (pic-
tured), and was shot on location in and around
Cottage Grove.
“When it comes to famous movies, Cottage Grove
is the Astoria of the Willamette Valley … One link
between the movies filmed in Cottage Grove and
Astoria is Corey Feldman — then a child actor, who
appears in both ‘The Goonies‘ (1985) and ‘Stand By
Me‘ (1986).
“I made the trek to Cottage Grove recently, and
bicycled into the city to photograph some of the loca-
tions where ‘The General’ was filmed, and also where
Keaton and the crew were housed during their stay,
at the Bartell (now Cottage Grove) Hotel … A giant
mural of Keaton is on one side of the building, depict-
ing a scene from ‘The General.’
“Keaton spent nearly a month in Cottage Grove,
where he and his crew helped fight a brush fire out-
side the city during their stay. And he and his team
also played baseball — one of Keaton’s favorite activ-
ities — at Kelly Field, at the corner of 12th and Quincy
avenues …
“In 1963, Keaton was quoted as saying, ‘I was more
proud of that picture than any I ever made.’” You can
watch it here: bit.ly/GeneralBK
A
SEA SERPENT SURPLUS
CONSUMPTION
ey friends and fans, Cameron Consumption
McKirdy, the cuddly professional eater guy from
Seaside, here. I’ve escaped New York City, where I com-
peted in a chugging contest during the 2022 Nathan’s
Famous Hot Dog Eating Championship …
“On July 4, in Coney Island I went up against You-
Tube legend Badlands Chugs (Eric Booker) for the
chugging title. The first to pound a gallon of lemonade
wins.
“I had no chance. My buddy, Badlands, was going for
a world record, and he got it, drinking a gallon of pink
lemonade in 20 seconds! I watched in astonishment, as
the crowd clamored.” See it here: bit.ly/ChugginCam
Cam only had three weeks to prepare, so he was at a
bit of a disadvantage, but he’s undaunted, and ready for
more. Locals will recall this is not Cam’s first bout with
competitive eating and drinking.
“Performing with my spectacular sideshow friends
was the opportunity of a lifetime,” Cam recalled. “Plus,
the 15-time Hot Dog Eating Champ, Joey ‘Jaws’ Chest-
nut, kindly signed my sports cards right before he
choked out a trespasser on stage. God bless America!”
“Thanks for the support,” he added, “and positive
comments, everyone.”
‘H
DISAPPOINTMENT
n July 3, when a crab pot was being
hauled up from a depth of about 90 feet in
Yaquina Bay in Newport, the fishermen were stunned
to see a giant Pacific octopus had attached itself to the
crab pot, hoping for a feast, no doubt, MSN.com
reports.
And, as intelligent as these critters are, it would
likely have figured out how to get into that pot for the
tasty treats, sooner or later. Nick Johnson took a video
of the incident as the disappointed octopus had its ten-
tacle detached from the pot, and sank reluctantly back
into the deep.
According to NationalGeographic.com, the giant
Pacific octopus is, on average, about 16 feet across
and 110 pounds, although the largest found to
date was a whopping 30 feet across and more than
600 pounds.
Although they get bigger and live longer than other
octopus species, the lifespan is only about four years.
Dietary preferences for these night-feeders include
fish, clams, lobsters and shrimp, not to mention the
occasional shark or bird. (Photos: Nick Johnson/
KPTV, OTLibrary.com)
O
SUCH A RECEPTION
ishy rerun: Columbia River’s Colossal Claude‘s
sea serpent cousins have been popping up in Cali-
fornia. An 18-foot deep-sea giant oarfish carcass was
found off Catalina Island recently, but then a second
14-foot oarfish carcass washed up in Oceanside, Cali-
fornia, Oct. 18.
The oarfish is the world’s longest bony fish. They
don’t have scales or teeth, and you don’t want one for
dinner, as they taste like “gelatinous goo.”
A traditional Japanese belief says if oarfish start
washing up on the beach, it may signal an impending
earthquake. Kiyoshi Wadatsumi, an earthquake sci-
entist, thinks that’s because they live at great depths,
and are “sensitive to the movements of active faults.”
Time will tell. (Photo: Mark Bussey/AP) (In One Ear,
11/1/2013)
F
HOME AGAIN
fter over 60 years this mirror found its way back
home!” Emma Dalrymple Anderson posted on
Facebook. She and her husband, Lorin, own and run
the Benjamin Young Inn bed-and-breakfast on Duane
Street.
“I bought it a couple of months ago,” she explained,
“at an estate sale that our neighbor told us about. (All
thanks to you, Judy!) When I was about to hang it on the
wall, I found an inscription on the back: ‘Young Estate
1961 Paid $190.’
“Turns out this mirror is from our house, the Benja-
min Young House! I get goosebumps every time I tell
guests the story. It’s incredible how it came home after
all those years.”
‘A
he USS Peacock was a 10-gun, three-masted sloop.
Built in 1813, she met her demise on July 17, 1841,
on the Columbia River Bar during a Pacific Ocean
exploration expedition. A Clatsop County pioneer and
missionary, Rev. W. W. Kone, who lived in a log cabin
on the Columbia River shore, witnessed the wreck, and
told his tale in 1889.
While preaching at a village on Tansy Point in
Hammond that morning, one of the Native Americans
called out “Sail ho!” Everyone ran to look, but the ship
headed southward, out of view. Later, the ship was
spotted to the northwest, running too close to the Wash-
ington coast.
Kone and a few others headed for Baker’s Bay to
warn the Peacock, but when halfway there, the Pea-
cock turned back into the channel and ran aground on
a sandbar. The little group headed back to shore to set
up smoke signals so survivors would know where to
get assistance.
Later, Kone and three Native American friends
headed for the wreck in a canoe. But the ship signaled
for them not to approach, then a fog descended, so there
was nothing to do but head home. Once there, Kone
asked the Native Americans to keep an eye out, and left
salmon for any survivors who might show up.
The next morning, he asked the Chinook chief to
take his canoe out to the wreck and ask the crew to
come ashore; “120 or 125” safely landed, with no casu-
alties, and Kone cooked for them all night. In the mean-
time, the Peacock fell apart.
Kone prepared another huge meal when the last man,
the Peacock’s commodore, arrived. “Who could have
expected such a reception,” the commodore exclaimed,
“from a wreck on the northwest coast of America? Such
a reception!”
At his own expense, Kone kept assisting the stranded
crew, who stayed until they got a new ship. “And now,”
he concluded, “when old age has unfitted me for work,
and greatly in need, I asked of the secretary of the Navy
for aid …” Whether his plea was answered is unknown.
T
A SECRET TREASURE
reat Barrier Reef guide Tahn Miller was at work
in Queensland, Australia, guiding snorkelers,
when his eye caught an unusually elongated fish gliding
by, he told 9News.com.au
“At first I couldn’t quite place what species of fish it
was,” Miller said of the juvenile oarfish, “but then I saw
the shiny mercury-colored body, two predominant eyes
and the ultrafine dorsal fin running head to tail, undulat-
ing like mini waves propelling through the water …” His
photos are shown.
Experts confirmed his extremely rare find,
the first on the eastern Australian coast. Oarfish are nor-
mally found at depths of around 600 feet. This fish’s
body was about a foot long; adults can reach up to 26
feet long.
“At that moment I felt like the ocean had delivered a
secret treasure to us,” Miller noted. “It was truly a once-
in-a-lifetime encounter.”
G