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THE ASTORIAN • THuRSdAy, JuNE 16, 2022
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IN ONE EAR • ELLEDA WILSON
‘A MONUMENTAL FAILURE’
T
he Daily Morning Astorian, on June 16, 1885,
reported a jail break.
“At an early hour Sunday morning, five of the pris-
oners in the county jail got out of that place, went down
to the Astoria Packing Co., took Pete Anderson’s fishing
boat and got away.”
The men were led by the notorious Frank Clark, the
“Lone Star Fisherman,” Matt Clifford, who was in for
larceny, and George Smith, George Thompson and Jon-
athan Chambers, in for larceny and vagrancy.
“The only reason the remainder of the prisoners didn’t
get out is because they didn’t want to,” the paper stated.
The manner of escape was a bit convoluted. Clark
burned a hole in his cell floor and dug out two boul-
ders, which he wrapped in a blanket. Using leverage, a
noose and the boulders, he sprang a metal bar that held
the doors closed, and they were off.
“The outside doors offered little resistance, and with
little additional effort the gang got their freedom … If
the sheriff and his deputies are expected to keep prison-
ers, they ought either be furnished with a place that can-
not be opened with a toothpick to keep them in, or else
given a guard. As it is, the thing is ridiculous.
“The only first-class feature of that ‘jail’ is the price it
cost. With a little addition-expenditure it could be turned
into a good $16,000 chicken coop ($482,000 now), but
as a jail it is a monumental failure.”
CAPTAIN WHO
THORN’S FATAL MISTAKE
t. Jonathan Thorn, commander of John Jacob
Astor’s trading vessel Tonquin, took the ship
to Woody Point, near Vancouver Island in British
Columbia, to trade with the Indigenous people there
on June 14 and June 15, 1811.
An account by Peter Corney, mate on the London
schooner Columbia, claims he heard the story from
“the governor of the fort at Columbia River (aka Fort
Astoria), and the … natives.”
His account says trading was initially brisk at
Woody Point, but on the next day, the crew was wor-
ried. Thorn had let too many men on board, outnum-
bering the crew, who felt the visitors had “hostile
intentions.” Thorn ignored the warnings. (Another
account mentions that Thorn had insulted the chief at
the beginning of the negotiations, and that the crew
had been told of an impending attack.)
Thorne belatedly realized his mistake and ordered
four men to climb the masts to set sail, and oth-
ers to haul up the anchor. In the meantime, the vis-
itors pulled out long knives hidden in their hair and
killed most of the crew, including the captain. Eventu-
ally, the attackers were forced off the ship by the four
men who had been in the rigging, three of whom then
took a longboat in an attempt to reach the Columbia
River. They were driven ashore by the weather, found
and killed.
The fourth man, a blacksmith, although wounded,
stayed aboard. After laying a trail of gunpowder to
the ammunition magazine, he invited the men back
aboard to take whatever they wanted, then he set fire
to the gunpowder and jumped overboard before the
ship exploded. This version of the story ends with him
being rescued by men in nearby canoes, saved because
the tribe valued his skills.
Another version says the blacksmith, actually an
armorer, died in the explosion, as did around 200
of the natives, and the sole survivor was a half-Chi-
nook pilot and interpreter who had several names:
Lemazz, George Ramsay and/or Joseachal. During
the battle he surrendered to a native woman, begging
to be her slave. His freedom was eventually bought
by friends, and he told his story to writer Gabriel
Franchère.
L
D Hyundai announced that their “ultra large” 981-
foot natural gas tanker, Prism Courage, is the first
large ship to be completely under autonomous con-
trol during the last half of a 6,200 mile, 33-day Pacific
Ocean passage, NewAtlas.com reports. The voy-
age went from Texas, through the Panama Canal, then
crossed the ocean to Korea.
The autonomous navigation system, HiNAS 2.0,
navigated the vessel and looked for the best routes
and speeds, using Hyundai Global Services’ Integrated
Smartship Solution artificial intelligence, which also
compensated for weather and wave heights, and could
change directions and avoid ships in real time.
While sailing autonomously, the captain and a small
crew only needed to monitor the system. The ship
was also monitored by the American Bureau of Ship-
ping and the Korea Register of Shipping. The trip had
some impressive results, with fuel efficiency increased
by 7% and greenhouse gas emissions reduced by 5%.
And, the system located and avoided other ships over
100 times. The human captain was impressed. (Photos:
HD Hyundai)
H
NO REPRIEVE
here was no last-minute reprieve for the aircraft car-
rier USS Kitty Hawk (CV-63), which was, at one
time, proposed by Bill Nix as a museum attraction for
the Port of Astoria to save her from being scrapped.
She left Bremerton, Washington, on Jan. 15 to head to
International Shipbreaking Ltd. in Brownsville, Texas,
USNINews.org reported. Upon her arrival on May 31,
she was greeted by a large crowd standing along the
shoreline, and several boats, as she headed for her final
berth. A screenshot of her approach is shown.
The actual dismantling is supposed to begin in July,
and end in December 2023.
James Melka, a former Kitty Hawk sailor who also
tried to turn the ship into a museum, said last year that
he planned to watch both the Bremerton departure and
Brownsville arrival. He, along with many others, was
disappointed she could not be saved.
“Watching the Kitty Hawk, there will be a lot of
tears,” he told UPINews at the time.
T
WHO’S YOUR MAMA?
hat do you do to convince an orphaned baby owl
to eat? If you’re the Wildlife Center of the North
Coast, you get creative, and use a stuffed owl toy as a
parental fill-in.
“This little volunteer is helping us test out some new
biosecurity protocols so we can safely help more wild-
life,” Josh Saranpaa, the center’s executive director,
wrote on the wildlife center’s Facebook page, accompa-
nied by a little film clip of a baby owl gobbling his din-
ner while staring intently at the toy “mama.”
“As we get new systems in place, we’ll be able to
intake additional species, so please still call us with all
wildlife emergencies for the most current admission pol-
icies.” The phone number is 503-338-0331.
Baby owls eat the same things as adult owls — small
rodents, insect and baby birds — the difference being
their food is shredded into tiny pieces by their parents,
according to BirdwatchingUSA.org
“If you want to help,” Josh added, “we’re in need of
disposable Clorox wipes and puppy potty training pads
for our quarantine setup. Thank you for all of your sup-
port!” Donations are always welcomed, too, at coast-
wildlife.org
W
LATE BLOOMER
GOONDOCKS CHATTER
storia’s wayward sailor, Russian immigrant Rimas
Meleshyus, in his 60s, made several bungled
attempts to sail across the Pacific, and dreamed of cir-
cumnavigating the globe. You had to admire his gump-
tion, and he might actually have got ‘er done, if only
he’d bothered to learn how to sail.
The glory goes to Kenichi Horie who, at 83, has
been declared the oldest person to make a solo non-
stop Pacific Ocean crossing, from San Francisco to
Japan, the Associated Press reports. Apparently, he is
none the worse for the wear after 69 days at sea. He
brought medicine with him, but only needed eye drops
and some plasters.
The intrepid sailor already has one record: In 1962,
he became the first person to successfully complete a
solo nonstop sail in the opposite direction, from Japan
to San Francisco. And, he sailed around the world in
1974.
His latest voyage, “shows how healthy I am,” he
explained. “I’m still in the middle of my youth.” And,
he’s not done sailing, either, declaring, “I will keep up
my work to be a late bloomer.” (Photo: Kyodo News/
AP)
A
n intriguing bit of Goonies lore was posted on The
Goonies 35th Anniversary Facebook page by
Kenny Nix: A teeny-sized and blurry film clip origi-
nally on TikTok showing “the ending after the ending”
— the Goonies, the day after saving the Goondocks,
talking about what they are doing next, introduced
by Paul Johnston-Naylor (@gooniedad). And the
answers are:
“Motor City,” Data (Ke Huy Quan) said. “My
dad’s going to be a shipping clerk at the Detroit radio
plant.”
“My dad wants to stick around the San Andreas
fault,” Mouth (Corey Feldman) explained. “He says
there’s going to be a lot of plumbing action there some
day.”
“My dad’s taking us to New York,” Chunk (Jeff
Cohen) announced. “C’mon Big Guy (talking to Sloth
(John Matuszak) … My dad thinks he can get the Big
Guy a job with the Rangers as head goalie. My big
brother.”
“My dad’s taking us up to Canada,” Stef (Martha
Plimpton) told the others. “He says we’re going to
stay wherever the mackerel run.”
“We’re not sticking around, either,” Andy (Kerri
Green) added. “Daddy’s moving his legal practice to
Boston, and sending me to Sarah Lawrence.”
“We don’t have a plan yet,” Mikey (Sean Astin)
revealed. “My dad just stares at stuff. So we’re going
to move in with my grandmother until we can get one
end to meet the other end, whatever that means.”
Most would say they’re glad this clip never made
it into the film. The original, upbeat ending, would be
hard to top.
So where does this film clip come from? “This foot-
age, and several other clips,” Astin explained, “were
archived and originally digitized and shared two years
ago by Mark Marshall, production assistant on the
film.
A
SHORT NOTICE
hort rerun: David Kinman was alerted by his
daughter, Christina Pickles, to take a photo of
a sunken parking sign next time he was going for
a haircut. He took these photos, above, on 10th
Street near Duane Street, with Frank Stewart,
aka Frank the Barber, stepping in to give a height
comparison.
The “No vehicles taller than this sign” is only
about a foot above the ground. Which leaves one
wondering … are even elves subject to city parking
regulations now? (In One Ear, 12/23/2011)
S