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THE ASTORIAN • THuRSdAy, ApRIl 28, 2022
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IN ONE EAR • ELLEDA WILSON
A HEART OF GOLD
DID YOU SEE THAT?
O
n Saturday, a dilapidated duck shack meandered
down the Columbia River, past bemused Astorians
and baffled tourists, and out under the Astoria Bridge,
apparently managing to disrupt a sailboat race in the
process.
Soon Facebook was abuzz with wisecracks about
the potential value of drifting waterfront real estate and
affordable housing.
“It was from around the area on the river east of Asto-
ria near where the John Day River comes in,” someone
in the know told the Ear. His photo is shown.
It was seen up by Skamokawa, Washington, a few
days before it slid by Astoria. “With the amount of cur-
rent,” he speculated, “it would go many miles each way.”
He was out on the river, and even “did a turn around it”
out of curiosity.
So, wouldn’t a floating house be a problem naviga-
tion-wise, and need to be retrieved? Nope, apparently
not. “Usually, the Coast Guard will just send out a notice
to mariners,” the source said. “It’s really not an environ-
mental hazard.
“It’s on a par with a submerged log or any other float-
ing object. It seems odd not to go after it, but once they
take it, then they would be responsible for it. There’s
actually a great deal of stuff floating around out there.”
So where did it go? “We lost sight of it past Pier 2 (at
the Port of Astoria),” Jason Lycette recalled. “We’re up
above Pig ‘N Pancake. It was close to the tide changing,
so who knows where things end up?”
‘GOOD SENSE, JUST GO’
he Astorian’s publisher, Kari Borgen, received an
email recently from Steve Bagwell, editorial page
editor at the McMinnville News-Register.
He worked for The Daily Astorian from 1973 to
1976. “During that period,” he told Kari, “I wrote a
feature on Oney Camberg, legendary proprietor of
Oney’s tavern and restaurant in Elsie. It was published
in the edition of Thursday, Oct. 16, 1975.” The story
started on one page and continued on another; the sec-
ond page is called the jump.
“ … The opening page of the story was framed and
posted on the wall, where it remained for many years.
But it’s deteriorated to the point it’s only partially
readable, and the jump is long gone.
“… A grandson recently contacted me, seek-
ing more information about the story, which appar-
ently meant a lot to Oney.” Steve hoped to find a
copy of both pages of the story, and and asked Kari
for help.
The search began, and about 10 days later, he
wrote back. “I managed to track it down. The
Clatsop County Historical Society referred me on to
the Astoria Public Library. Library Director Jimmy
Pearson located it, down in bound volumes in the
basement, and library staffer Eric Williams copied it
for me.
“I forwarded a copy to Oney’s grandson, Kyle
Camberg, executive director of the Sunshine Divi-
sion in Portland, because I don’t think he ever had the
jump, and it was mostly about his dad.” His dad was
Oney’s only child, Joe Camberg.
“It’s pretty amazing to get contacted about a story
47 years after you wrote it,” Steve said, “particularly
when you’ve moved all about the Pacific Northwest in
the meantime, and shifted into something of a retire-
ment gig in recent years.”
“If Oney you could see me now,” is essentially the
biography of “a rough-hewn country woman with a
will of iron and a heart of gold.” You can read it at bit.
ly/OneyStory. His photo of Oney is shown.
“You know, I think it’s held up pretty well,” Steve
added. “It’s still a good read, all these years later.”
He’s right.
T
LOCK ‘EM UP
here’s a new attraction for “local lovebirds and
twitterpated tourists alike” over at Pier 39 at the
Menagerie gift shop: Love locks.
A collaboration between gift shop owner Stacey
Stahl and Pier 39 owner Floyd Holcom, the heart-
shaped padlocks can be affixed to the pier to commem-
orate a visit there, and as a gesture of a couple’s love
for each other. And, like the old song says, “Everybody
loves a lover.”
Love locks are already popular in France, Italy and
Seoul, South Korea, so why not Pier 39? The locks come
in a kit, and there’s a special pen to write with on the
lock, an instruction card for how and where to affix your
lock, and an Astoria Pier 39 decal to symbolize the loca-
tion of your lock, and better yet, the memory of placing
it there. Once its placed, couples are encouraged to take
a photo and use the hashtag #AstoriaLoveLocks
What about a key for the lock? There isn’t one, for
two good reasons: To “symbolize love forever,” and,
maybe even more importantly, to keep those keys out of
the Columbia River.
T
BUBBLING OVER
arlier today in Seaside … there was a traffic com-
plaint in the area of 1313 S. Roosevelt Drive in
Seaside,” Frederick Causer Jr. posted on the Clatsop
County Scanner Group Uncensored Facebook page last
Thursday. “You may ask, ‘was a car driving recklessly?’
“Nope … Dispatch advised a police unit of a caller
who reported a subject was blowing bubbles, large bub-
bles, causing a traffic hazard with vehicles. The bub-
bles were alleged to be causing people to slam on their
brakes.
“Well, a unit checked it out, and he advised that the
subject (the bubble blowing bubble blower) was well off
the roadway, and they were not committing any crimi-
nal activities.”
Some people apparently have nothing better to do
than complain about bubbles. About a year ago, another
bubble-hater reported some children to the police for
blowing bubbles in Warrenton.
Fred held a Great Bubble Blow about a week later,
to show “support for these children, and children every-
where” saying, “bubbles bring joy to so many.” Most
would agree.
‘E
HOLD THE PHONE
he Ear fondly remembers a high school Latin teacher
who taught for years with a traveling circus, but she
didn’t play rock ‘n’ roll.
However, the AC/DC tribute band Back Into Black‘s
lead guitar player, James “Bucky” Pottschmidt (right),
teaches music at Warrenton High School, and bass
player Michael Simpson teaches choir and music at
Neah-Kah-Nie High School.
They, along with lead vocalist Roger Jaime (left)
of Warrenton (who, with his wife, runs an adult foster
care home for people with disabilities), Mat “Hurri-
kane” Banke on drums, John Elkins on rhythm guitar
and singer Marcie Attig-Long (who lives in Olney) will
perform the entire “Back In Black” album, from front to
back, at 7:30 p.m. Saturday. The show opens with a Pat
Benatar and Joan Jett tribute featuring Marcie.
Where? The Liberty Theatre. Tickets cost $20 at bit.
ly/BackIntoBlack. And don’t forget: Rock ‘N’ Roll Ain’t
Noise Pollution.
T
A SMALLER FOOTPRINT
T
FROLICKING ABOUT
he Morning Astorian, on April 28, 1900, con-
tained a small squib on page 3 that sounds very
much like a pod of orcas came up the Columbia River
for a visit:
“Those along the waterfront yesterday saw an inter-
esting sight in the nature of a school of black fish, a spe-
cies of the whale family, numbering about 20, frolick-
ing about in the bay opposite the city.
“They ran up to a point off the Astoria Iron Works
where they reversed their course and proceeded back
to sea, plunging and spouting until lost in the distance.
“The visitors created much consternation among the
fishermen on the river, rushing dangerously near many
of the boats and damaging several of the nets.
“Just why the school did not proceed to Portland
after such a start cannot be imagined …”
T
ourist season is almost upon us, and let’s hope this
doesn’t happen here: The Brinnon Fire Depart-
ment in Washington state posted on Facebook that
they, and Quilcene Fire Rescue, recently rescued a
40-ish lady who fell into a vault toilet near the top of
Mount Walker, on the Olympic Peninsula.
In case you’re wondering, a vault toilet is one of
those waterless, non-flushing toilets, like those you see
in national parks, where everything unpleasant lands
in a large underground container (hence the term
vault).
The madness began when the lady dropped her
phone into the vault. She somehow dismantled the toi-
let seat and housing, and unsuccessfully used her dog’s
leash to go fishing for it. Next, she used the leash to
support herself so she could lean in to grab it, which
didn’t work either, and how she wound up in the vault
… head first.
She tried on her own, unsuccessfully, for 15-20
minutes to get out, and finally found her phone and
called 911. Why the phone was still working is beyond
comprehension, as is actually holding it.
“The crews made a makeshift cribbing platform by
passing them down to the patient,” the Facebook post
says. “After making it tall enough for her to stand on,
the crew pulled the victim to safety … The patient was
washed down and given a Tyvek suit to wear.”
Although she was “strongly encouraged to seek
medical attention,” instead, “she thanked the respond-
ers and continued her journey back to Califor-
nia.” Pictured, first responders Antonio Rubal and
Zach Torres.
“The patient was extremely fortunate not to be
overcome by toxic gases,” the post concluded, “or sus-
tain injury.” And, you have to wonder how she was
going to explain away that Tyvek suit, especially since
the story quickly went viral.
Portland couple, Jesse and Megan Milliken,
co-founders of Woolybubs, have come up with a prod-
uct that will please ecologically-minded parents: Disappear-
ing, 100% biodegradable “planet friendly” baby shoes.
“The Newbie is our first step to empowering more
parents with ways to leave a smaller footprint,” Megan
told BusinessWire.com. “… The idea behind the New-
bie was to create a product that will disappear once out-
grown, leaving behind less harm to the planet.”
The shoes, which come in three sizes, will dissolve
in boiling water after about 40 minutes. But never fear,
“they won’t dissolve in the rain or when hand washed,”
Megan said.
“This wasn’t easy,” the Woolybubs website asserts.
“We experienced some trial and error and a few unsatis-
fied babies in the process. But the babies pushed us to go
farther, do better, innovate more, fear less.
“And, in the end, we ended up with a shoe that sup-
ports the most high-performing, style-conscious babies
on the planet.”
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