B3
THE ASTORIAN • SATuRdAy, MARcH 12, 2022
BLONDIE
DAY AFTER TOMORROW’S
HOROSCOPE
MONDAY, MARCH 14, 2022
RHYMES WITH ORANGE
ARIES (March 21-April 19).
You’re the favorite. Call in a favor
and you’ll be lavished. Behave
badly and you’ll be instantly
forgiven. Act on your whimsy
and you will be inexplicably
understood.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20).
Someone has a lot less power
than you assumed. The situation
is a little like Dorothy and friends
visiting the Wizard of Oz. Some-
times powerful people pose and
pretend because it’s what the
citizens expect.
B.C.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21).
Can the essence of life be seen?
Today you feel like you can see
it — and hear and dance to it,
too. There are certain people
and places that occur to you like
geysers of vitality.
CANCER (June 22-July 22).
Crying is not a form of weakness;
it’s a way of processing emotion.
Each tear is a healing balm. Even
so, you’ll be somewhat strategic,
processing your emotions when
and where it is smart to do so.
DILBERT
BIZARRO
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Your
apprehensions keep you from
taking a risk not worth taking.
But when you see the oppor-
tunity that seems right for you,
you’ll have the courage to move
through fear and seize the
moment.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22).
Assess what you’re dealing with
through the lens of time. Some
problems that seem massive
in one moment can quickly
become irrelevant. Ask yourself
what you’re likely to think about
the situation next week.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You
speak kindly of all, show grat-
itude and return favors. Most
importantly, you make time for
those who need a friend. These
quality habits are their own
reward, but more will come your
way.
NON SEQUITUR
WIZARD OF ID
ROSE IS ROSE
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You
feel wronged by someone, yet,
on some level, it also seems you
agreed to the deal. That doesn’t
mean you should be stuck with
it. Deals can be renegotiated or
unmade.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec.
21). You’ll find yourself on the
receiving end of unexpected
niceties, perks and the like.
Maybe the bounty is not coming
from the direction you thought
it would, but you have to admit
it feels like your turn. Take it!
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19).
Conversation can be competi-
tion. Distill it to its essence and
it’s basically, “I’m the best.” “No,
I’m the best.” Or, “You’re the best.”
“No, you’re the best.” It’s just a
competition of modesty.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18).
Take a break from thinking
about a problem. While your
conscious mind is distracted,
your subconscious will work out
the knots and find a solution.
Using your talents makes you
feel rich.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20).
Your priority is usually work over
pleasure, others over yourself
and duty over leisure. It’s time to
flip the script and appreciate life
from both sides.
MONDAY’S BIRTHDAY (March
14). Confidence soars this year.
You’ll pin your adventurous spir-
it on a distant destination. There
are many ways to get there;
each path brings its own unique
experience. You’re inclined
toward challenging terrain and
people who have something to
teach you. Improvements give
you an edge at work and in your
personal life. Pisces and Taurus
adore you. Your lucky numbers
are: 30, 1, 15, 23 and 12.