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THE ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, DECEMBER 2, 2021
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IN ONE EAR • ELLEDA WILSON
ABOVE OR BELOW,
CERTAIN DEATH
STUFF OF NIGHTMARES
ay Beiler was taking a walk just before sunset on
Black’s Beach in Torrey Pines in the San Diego area,
when he was startled by coming across a monstrous-look-
ing fi sh about the size of a soccer ball that washed up in
the sand, TimesNowNews.com reports. He took three pho-
tos; one of them is shown.
NBC 7 in San Diego sent Beiler’s photos to the Scripps
Institution of Oceanography, who identifi ed the fi sh as
a rare Pacifi c footballfi sh (himantolophidae), who live in
tropical and subtropical waters 3,000 to 4,000 feet deep in
the Atlantic, Indian and Pacifi c oceans.
History note: The footballfi sh was fi rst discovered by
zoology professor Johan Reinhardt in 1837.
“This is one of the larger species of anglerfi sh,” Ben
Frable, of Scripps, said, “and it’s only been seen a few
times here in California, but it’s found throughout the
Pacifi c Ocean.” Unfortunately, the fi sh was not recovered,
and probably washed back out with the tide.
“I have never seen anything quite like this before,”
Beiler told NBC 7. “At fi rst, I thought it was a — like a
jellyfi sh or something, and then I went and looked at it a
little more carefully, and some other people were gathered
around it too, and then I saw that it was this very unusual
fi sh.
“It’s the stuff of nightmares,” he added, “(the) mouth
almost looked bloody.”
J
ALMOST INSUFFERABLE ENNUI
SURREAL
on’t know what to give that special someone? Ocean-
Gate.com has the answer: How about a Titanic Expe-
dition? He or she would have a chance to be a passenger
in the Titan submersible on a dive down to the famous
wreck, which lies about 12,600 feet deep in the North
Atlantic Ocean. A view from the sub’s porthole is shown,
courtesy of OceanGate.
The 8-days-at-sea mission departs from Newfoundland,
Canada, and the next one is in the spring; 18 dives to the
Titanic are planned. The expeditions include profession-
als who are studying and documenting the deteriorating
wreck, as well as six “citizen explorers,” aka mission spe-
cialists. Everything is explained in the 12-page brochure,
as is the cost to ride along: A paltry $125,000 per person.
“It was something out of Discovery Channel or National
Geographic,” Aaron Newman, a former mission specialist
observed. “It was very surreal and amazing. This is one of
the most interesting and unique experiences I have ever
had.
“Less than around 200 people have ever been down to
the Titanic and seen the wreck in 110 years. Even diving to
almost 4,000 meters in a submersible is an experience unto
itself. That’s what life is about.”
D
rom The Morning Astorian, Dec. 2, 1899, and the
Lighthouse Board Annual Report of Fiscal Year
1901, comes the harrowing story of what happened when
the Columbia River Light-vessel No. 50 (LV50), sta-
tioned at sea outside the Columbia River Bar, tore loose
from her mooring in a heavy gale on Nov. 28, 1899.
The news of the lightship’s predicament spread fast,
and tugs came out to assist, but after four attempts they
gave up trying in the rolling breakers and 74 mph winds.
The situation was dire for the lightship, and LV50 had
no engine, only sails. She would have to be beached.
Capt. Harriman sailed her through the heavy seas, skill-
fully navigating to the only safe place nearby, Waikiki
Beach, just west of Cape Disappointment.
“… At no time did I think we were lost,” he told
the newspaper. “My experience as a bar pilot made me
familiar with the coast, and I knew that there was just
one place to go. Above that place, or below it, meant cer-
tain death … ”
Once safely beached, the Cape Disappointment life-
saving crew established a breeches buoy to haul the men
to land. Eventually, only the captain remained aboard.
“I was alone, and in truth that was the most lone-
some moment I have ever known,” the captain said. “All
the lights on board were extinguished except a lantern,
which I held, and the night was dark as ink.
“I mounted the rigging with diffi culty, for I was sore,
and my back bothered me. Besides, the wind was blow-
ing hard, and I had to hold the lantern in one hand, for
that was the only means of signalling to the life-crew.
“I had considerable trouble getting into the breeches
buoy, but fi nally succeeded, then I signaled with the lan-
tern that I was ready, and threw the lantern away. I was
hauled quickly to land, although I was under the water
for 20 or 30 feet.
“You cannot say too much in praise of the life-saving
crew. I cannot express what I feel. We shall never forget
them — never …”
But what about the lightship? That’s another story
for another day. (U.S. Coast Guard/National Archives
photo)
F
TIFFANY’S TOUR
n a Facebook post, the Lincoln City Police Department
noted that on Nov. 26, they received reports that a sea lion
had come up from the river, taken a neighborhood tour and was
in the middle of a roadway, heading for U.S. Highway 101.
Offi cers arriving on the scene set up a perimeter
around the pinniped, whom they named “Tiff any,” so she
wouldn’t get hit by a car. She is pictured in Lincoln City
Police Department photos.
The Oregon State Police and North Lincoln Fire and
Rescue were asked to assist, and the fi rst plan was to lure
Tiff any back to the water. An offi cer went to Kenny’s IGA
Village Market, which donated several packages of fi sh,
but Tiff any wouldn’t follow the bait.
Next, the rescuers decided to corral Tiff any with sheets
of plywood, and herd her to the river. Over the three-block
distance, moving slowly, they gave her several hose-soak-
ing breaks.
It worked. Even though the tide was out, the post said,
Tiff any “settled down happily (at) a small stream section,
and seemed content to wait it out until the next tide.” Well
done!
I
ainy ruminations: “Narrative of a Voyage to the North-
west Coast of America in the Years 1811, 1812, 1813,
and 1814 or, The fi rst American settlement of the Pacifi c”
is the journal of Gabriel Franchère (1786-1863) about the
early settlement of Astoria, among other musings.
The diarist joined the Astor Expedition as a merchant’s
apprentice, arriving at the desolate outpost of Fort Astoria
in 1811 on the ship Tonquin. His writings were one of the
main sources for Washington Irving’s “Astoria.”
A little excerpt: “Mr. Clapp and I were left with the
entire charge of the post at Astoria, and were each other’s
only resource for society … We amused ourselves with
music and reading, having some instruments and a choice
library.
“Otherwise we should have passed our time in a state
of insuff erable ennui, at this rainy season, in the midst
of the deep mud which surrounded us, and which inter-
dicted the pleasure of a promenade outside the buildings.”
Heavy sigh.
R
TUESDAY’S TURTLE
t all started on Nov. 16,” Tiff any
Boothe of the Seaside Aquarium
wrote. “A report came through to the
Seaside Aquarium about a stranded
olive ridley sea turtle near Ocean
Park, Washington. The aquarium crew
quickly responded, but by the time they
arrived the turtle had vanished.”
Perhaps someone picked it up —
which is highly illegal — assuming it
was dead?
But then … “at 7:30 a.m. on Nov.
21, the aquarium got another report of a
stranded turtle, but this time it was a bit
further north in Oysterville, Washing-
ton.” The person reporting was happy
to “turtle sit” until the aquarium could
get there. Surprise! It was the Tuesday
turtle. Tiff any’s photo is shown.
But was it alive? “… They can be
unresponsive, and their heartbeat can
slow to one beat per minute …,” she
noted …” Unfortunately, it was not
alive. In fact, only 5% of these cold-
stunned turtles survive.
If you fi nd a sea turtle on the beach,
call the Seaside Aquarium at 503-
738-6211, or the Oregon State Police
tipline at 800-452-7888 or the West
Coast Marine Mammal Stranding
Network at 866-767-6114. If you can’t
wait till someone arrives, be sure to tell
responders the turtle’s coordinates.
“It is still unknown if someone came
across the turtle on Nov. 16 and picked
it up,” Tiff any added, “only to put the
turtle back on the beach later in the
week, or if the turtle somehow swam
back out — something that we have
never had happen before.”
‘I
ASTORIA GETS NOSY
un rerun: The Oregon Air National Guard’s
142nd Fighter Wing unveiled the new Astoria nose
art (pictured) on an F-15 fi ghter jet during a Cities of
Honor Ceremony at the Portland Air National Guard
Base on Feb. 21.
Apparently nose art originated with Italian and Ger-
man pilots on fi ghting aircraft during World War I. During
World War II, the nose art was particularly fl amboyant.
“While begun for practical reasons of identify-
ing friendly units,” Mr. Wikipedia says, “the practice
evolved to express the individuality often constrained
by the uniformity of the military, to evoke memories of
home and peacetime life, and as a kind of psychological
protection against the stresses of war and the probabil-
ity of death.”
So congratulations, Astoria. You’re now among the
elite 21 fi ghter jets sporting nose art honoring cities in
Oregon and Washington. (In One Ear, 3/1/13)
F
BUSINESS AS USUAL
ome advertisements to ponder from the Tri-Weekly
Astorian, Dec. 2, 1873:
• U.S. Mail and Express. From Astoria to Clatsop
Beach! Fast horses! Good carriage! Leaves Astoria every
Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday Mornings. Distance 24
miles, fare $1.50 (about $35 now).
• Dr. S. Kinsey, druggist and apothecary, Astoria, Ore-
gon. Physicians and family prescriptions fi lled from the
purest drugs, either at day or night. A full stock of wines
and liquors for medical use, patent medicines, toilet arti-
cles, oils, brushes, etc.
• Welch’s Good Samaritan Compound. For curing
rheumatism, sprains, boils, bruises, burns, etc. A single
bottle will cure or prevent days of the most excruciating
pain, and not unfrequently save the life of the suff ering
patient. Price $1 (about $23 now) per bottle. Prepared by
J. Welch, Astoria, Oregon.
• Baths! Baths! Hot, cold and shower baths! At Occi-
dent Hotel, Hair Dressing Saloon. Wm. Uhlenhart, pro-
prietor. Special attention paid to ladies’ and children’s hair
cutting. Private entrance for ladies.
S