B4
THE ASTORIAN • TUESDAY, MAY 11, 2021
Parents feel weight of pandemic
By BRENNA VISSER
The Bulletin
Just about everything that
could go wrong did go wrong
for Erica Kite when the coro-
navirus pandemic began. First,
she was let go from her job for
electing to stay home out of
fear of how COVID-19 could
aff ect her pregnancy. She fi led
for unemployment, but her
payments were delayed —
a delay that ended up lasting
nearly a year.
And then, just about a week
before Kite was supposed to
have her baby, the well on her
La Pine property ran dry, leav-
ing her and her family of three
without water just a few days
before the arrival of her new
daughter.
Despite the challenges, the
38-year-old said she wouldn’t
change a thing. The pandemic
reminded her of something
valuable: Nothing is more
important than family, and her
family is more resilient than
she thought.
“We’re kind of ready for
whatever comes in the future.
Hopefully, that was the worst
of it we’re going to see in our
lifetime,” Kite said. “It’s kind
of like, we can survive any-
thing at this point.”
A year ago, as the pandemic
seemed to grow unchecked,
The Bulletin spoke with
nearly a dozen mothers about
their experiences with preg-
nancy. A year later, The Bulle-
tin followed up with three of
those mothers.
Parenting in a pandemic,
they say, meant struggling
with isolation.
It meant having to say “no”
to their children more often to
things that should be “yeses,”
and sometimes not feeling like
they were parenting the best
they could.
It meant learning to get cre-
ative, and doing things they
may have not had time for
before the pandemic.
Most of all, the pandemic
meant these mothers had extra
time with their newborns —
time that usually would not
be aff orded to them if things
were normal.
“I think a lot of people
feel the way I do,” Kite said.
“I don’t think I’m unique in
feeling this (pandemic) recal-
ibrated what’s important.”
Since April 2020, more
than 2,000 babies have been
born at St. Charles Bend,
according to Kristina Menard,
the director of Women and
Children’s Services for St.
Charles Health System.
Despite national reports of
birth rates declining, the hos-
pital has not seen a signifi -
cant increase or decrease in
the number of births in cen-
tral Oregon, Menard said in an
email.
The hospital has seen an
increase in planned home
births since the beginning of
the pandemic, however.
“We do not have any data
to explain the increase, but it
does correlate with the start
of the pandemic and is likely
related,” Menard wrote in an
email.
Madeline Drescher was
one of the mothers who gave
birth at home, to her daughter
Mae in late May.
The pandemic put stress
on both her personal and pro-
fessional life. At the begin-
ning of the pandemic, Dre-
scher worked as a Doula — a
person who is trained to off er
emotional and physical sup-
port to women going through
childbirth.
But after local hospitals
restricted the number of peo-
ple who could be in a hospital
MORE
THAN
YOU
IMAGINED
Ryan Brennecke/The Bulletin
Leslie Neugbauer and her daughter, Lyla, 1, laugh while
playing in their backyard.
room to one, Drescher’s busi-
ness suff ered. Mothers were
forced to choose between their
spouse and their doula, and
often chose the spouse.
She has mixed feelings
about having to shut down her
business.
“I’m relieved that I get
to spend more time with my
family and not be on call for
the fi rst time in six years, but
also very sad because it’s a
huge part of me and what I
love to do,” Drescher said.
With four kids at home,
the 34-year-old Bend resident
faced new challenges in par-
enting that she hadn’t before
in raising her older children.
She felt bad for constantly
having to say no to what oth-
erwise would be reasonable
requests to go to the park or
the library.
Instead of taking all of her
children to the store — some-
thing she used to enjoy before
the pandemic — she had to
learn how to either go alone or
with just a couple of her chil-
dren, fearing how she would
be perceived bringing more
people into a store than was
recommended in a pandemic.
She still worries about
3D Theater
Lightship Tour
Gift Store
how the isolation and lack of
social contact will aff ect the
development of her younger
children.
“So much about how we
interact as an adult we learn
when we are kids,” she said.
The pandemic did encour-
age both Drescher and her
children to be more creative.
With traditional entertainment
avenues shut down for much
of the pandemic, Drescher and
her family were forced to ask:
What can we do at home for
fun?
More books were read at
home. More time was spent
playing with children and get-
ting their hands dirty in the
backyard. Her older children
set up small neighborhood
stands to sell geodes they
found, or plant starts they had
grown in the garden.
“It just reminds me there is
still beauty in the world,” Dre-
scher said. “It’s really easy to
focus on the doom and gloom,
but my kids are over here
looking at frogs and worms
and it reminds you there is still
a beautiful world going on.”
For Leslie Neugebauer,
raising a newborn in the pan-
demic felt like every decision
she made had higher stakes
than decisions she had previ-
ously made.
“When you are a parent,
you question every decision
you make,” Neugebauer said.
“Now it’s even more so.”
Neugebauer, a 40-year-
old Bend resident, was faced
with questions about whether
it was safe to send her older
child to preschool, or her new-
born to daycare.
She too fears how a lack
of socialization will aff ect her
baby, Lyla, who just recently
turned 1. Lyla has rarely got-
ten sick — an uncommon
phenomenon in normal times
— and Neugebauer fears what
that will mean for her immune
system down the line.
“She’s only met a fraction
of the people the older kid
has met,” Neugebauer said.
“What’s going to happen in,
two, three, four years for kids
who have never been sick?
That’s a consequence I never
thought of.”
And having a baby during
a government shutdown and
stay-at-home orders meant
getting little to no support to
help take care of her older son
in the weeks following Lyla’s
birth.
“He watched more TV in
that one month than he did in
his entire life,” Neugebauer
said. “And I felt terrible, but
it also felt like I had no other
option.”
But the pandemic did bring
some positives. Working from
home meant not having to
pump breast milk in the offi ce
during the day, which was a
relief, she said. Neugebauer is
also grateful for how working
from home allowed her to get
extra time to bond with Lyla.
“Every time I imagined
how hard it was for me, I
imagined how much harder it
could have been,” she said.
The fi rst time Kite took her
daughter Olive to a grocery
store, someone there called
her “one of those pandemic
babies.”
At fi rst, Kite found the
comment rude — a reminder
of the negative marker her
daughter will always have
when someone asks for her
birth date.
But it is also a reminder of
something positive: Even in a
year as awful as 2020, some-
thing good came out of it.
“It was such a tough year
and so many bad things hap-
pened, but we ended up with
this beautiful baby girl,” Kite
said.
With her unemployment
payments delayed, Kite and
her husband survived on
receiving government issued
food assistance and fi nan-
cial assistance from Neigh-
bor Impact to help pay their
electrical bills. The mortgage
of their La Pine home was
deferred due to COVID-19.
The well that ran dry the week
Olive was born was fi xed
thanks to an emergency loan
from Neighbor Impact.
Despite the challenges, her
family never went without
basic necessities, Kite said.
“All in all, I think we were
really fortunate,” she said.
The greatest lesson of
the pandemic involved per-
spective, Kite said. Obliga-
tions that used to matter just
seem silly now after a year of
quarantine.
Instead, Kite remem-
bers doing things like getting
dressed up in overalls, turning
on music and having a dance
party in the living room.
“It’s not ideal it took a pan-
demic to force that, but it defi -
nitely made us appreciate hav-
ing a family,” Kite said.
OPEN DAILY 9:30 TO 5:00 • 1792 Marine Drive, Astoria
503.325.2323 • www.crmm.org
Classifieds
SELL YOUR VEHICLE HERE!
GARAGE SALE
If it Drives or Floats...
SEASON IS HERE!
ONLY
$ 49.95
ADVERTISE TODAY
800.781.3214
classifieds@dailyastorian.com
If it doesn’t sell in two weeks
We will give you two weeks for FREE!
Searching for Employees?
PLACE YOUR JOB
POSTING HERE
$ 25
Special Includes:
• 2 Weeks in Print
& Online
• Logo Included
• Facebook Boost
• Featured Advertising
ys
for 3 da
Call 800.781.3214
to advertise today!
Call
at
503-325-3211 or email:
classifieds@dailyastorian.com
classifieds@dailyastorian.com
107 Public Notices
516 Lots & Acreage
SOLICITATION FOR BIDS
The City of Astoria’s Parks
and Recreation Department
is seeking responses from
qualified firms to provide
project management services
for improvements to be
installed along the Astoria
Riverwalk. Details and
information can be obtained
via email: jdart@astoria.or.us
or by calling 503 298 2467.
Submissions due June 1,
2021.
Pristine private coastal timber
and wetland 110 acres with
elevations, Long Beach.
Minutes to beach, bay, and
river. Elk, bear, beaver pond.
Estimated 2.85 million b.f.
export hemlock, cedar, fir,
spruce. Retreat, reserve,
carbon or development rights
replacement. $1,650,000 The
Claim LLC, 290 Nonesuch
Lane, Raphine, VA 24472
Go.
Do.
coastweekend.com
dining • the arts • music
shopping • museums • classes • movies
gardening • news • blogs • more
www.DailyAstorian.com
613 Houses
for Rent
Astoria-born local couple
looking for house with garage
to rent in Astoria or
Warrenton. Non-smokers.
503-310-5273
SHOP LOCAL!
Check the Business Directory
daily to utilize the local
professionals advertising
in The Astorian.
To place an ad in our Business
Directory, call 503-325-3211.
FIND IT, TELL IT, SELL IT!
Classified ads! 503-325-3211
651 Help Wanted
651 Help Wanted
Help wanted
WORD PROCESSOR/
PERSONAL ASST.
Cashier: Full/Part time
&
Stock person
Ilwaco Food Market
(360)628-7159
House keeping with an
Oceanfront view!
Join our team at Sea Sprite
Guest Lodgings and enjoy a
relaxed work environment.
Looking for a housekeeper
for part or full time. $20/hr +
extras.Contact us at 503-436-
2266 or info@seasprite.com
Seaside Golf Club
Restaurant and Lounge
is looking for part-time and
full-time cooks with breakfast,
lunch, and evening bar menu
experience. Wage is $15
to $20 per hour DOE.
Call Phil @ 503-738-2607
or email your interest and
qualifications to
phil@borlandelectric.com.
Excellent Grammar,
Writing, Spelling,
& Formatting Skills,
Legal experience beneficial
but not nessary,
Adaptable schedule
Pay based on
Demonstrated Ability
360-244-1865
Full-Time Employment
Trails End Recovery
Construction Laborers
Requirements:
Good Attendance Skills
Good Customer Service
Must Pass Drug Test
We offer competitive pay and
benefits. Wages start at $15
DOE Warrenton, Oregon.
(503)861-6030
customex.trailsend@gmail.
com
Classified ads work hard
so you don’t have to.
Call 503-325-3211 to
place your ad today!