A second chance at love
THE BRUCE AND TAMMY RATH WEDDING
Story by Katherine Lacaze
•
Photos by Don Frank
A
ccording to Tammi Rath, when
she and her now-husband Bruce
Rath first got together, they were
in agreement on one thing: “We’re
never getting married.”
Bruce had been married 44
years to his high school sweetheart
and first wife Patty. Tammi had likewise enjoyed a long marriage
of 23 years to her husband John. In the wake of their loved ones’
deaths, however, Bruce and Tammi crafted a bittersweet love story
and acutely strong bond that was celebrated at their Astoria-based
wedding in December 2019.
“It was a great day for two people who thought life was over,”
Tammi said.
Tammi and Bruce originally met in early 2000 at a pizza joint
she and John owned in Eatonville, Washington. Joined by Bruce’s
wife Patty and another couple, they formed a tight knit group
of friends that called themselves “the six pack” and socialized
frequently.
A few years later, Patty was diagnosed with a lung disease and
told she only had a few years to live. Bruce closed his business and
the two of them set off to travel throughout 2006 and 2007. In 2008,
they purchased a small family fun park in Seaside, which they
renamed Captain Kid Amusement Park. John and Tammi would
occasionally travel to Seaside to visit.
In 2015, Patty passed away, leaving Bruce with an amusement
park to manage on his own and a deep sense of loss.
In February 2018, Tammi experienced loss too after John
ended his life. At that point, “life was completely done as far as I
was concerned,” she said.
Understanding her grief as someone only can after sharing a
similar experience, Bruce became a source of comfort and support
for her in the following months, during which they spent ample
time “barfing on each other” emotionally, Tammi said.
Bruce shared his struggle with loneliness and wanting to find
someone to share life with, while Tammi was dealing with agony,
anger and confusion.
In the late spring, Bruce suggested vacationing to Lake Tahoe
together, to get away and relax before summer season at the park
and the start of Tammi’s new job. She was hesitant to go at first,
worried about leaving the place she had lived with John.
“You feel like they’re going to come back, so you need to stay
home, stay close,” she said. It was her son who finally approached
her, doling out a bit of tough love about being crippled by sadness,
and in turn encouraging her to take the trip.
In Tahoe, things changed. Over the following months, however,
they had to figure out how to navigate the complicated situation
that was still wrought with grief. Tammi moved to Seaside in
September 2018, and they spent about 50 days in the off-season
traveling throughout the United States.
“It was a really good healing time for both of us,” she said.
It took a while for Tammi to embrace the idea of marriage, even
though they both had loved being married. Bruce said opening up
16 • Our Coast Weddings 2020
to the idea can be difficult, because “you don’t want to go through
the agony again, the defeat.”
At some point, however, Tammi determined that “(John’s)
death is not going to be my death sentence.” She knew nothing
would ever be the same for Bruce or herself, but they had an
opportunity to take their experiences and losses and “combine that
with a new life and a new love.”
When they did settle on getting married, they decided to go
big. Bruce had eight groomsmen, who ranged from ages 17 to 80,
including his sons, grandson and Tammi’s son. Tammi also had
eight bridesmaids.
Tammi purchased her flowers from Costco and made her
own arrangements with the help of her sister. The primary colors
were plum and lavender. The wedding was held at The Loft at
the Red Building in Astoria and their wedding package included
meticulous coordination. Nikki Latter, of Nikki Luxuria, provided
hairdressing services, which was special because she was Patty’s
hairdresser. Bruce and Tammi go to Latter on a regular basis.
In line with tradition, Tammi didn’t want Bruce to see her in
her wedding dress before she walked down the aisle. As she waited
at the back of the procession, she was emotional, primarily because
the audience was filled with loved ones who had known them both
for years and shared their past tragedies. Many were people Tammi
hadn’t seen since John’s funeral service, serving as living reminders
of how life changes, often unexpectedly.
However, Tammi said, “Once I got up to Bruce and grabbed his
hand, I was beaming, I was flying.”
While the couple didn’t want their ceremony to be solely about
their previous spouses, “everyone in the room knew all four of us,”
Bruce said.
Additionally, the minister officiating their wedding had
also presided over both John’s and Patty’s funerals. In terms of
respecting the past while celebrating the present and igniting hope
for the future, “he nailed it,” Tammi said.
“I t was a great day
for two people who
thought life was over.”
The reception featured an Italian buffet catered by Fulio’s,
cakes from Costco and Fred Meyer, a candy buffet, and Coca-
Cola bottles with “Bruce and Tammi 2019” on the labels. Chris
Anderson was the DJ and played a diverse set of songs Bruce and
Tammi had spent hours selecting.
Summing up the day, everything “worked perfectly,” Bruce
said, adding, “I can’t think of one thing that went wrong.”
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