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THE ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, JANUARY 16, 2020
Coming to terms
with the past
Dear Annie: I am a that I need to reach peace of
32-year-old married man mind on my own. Is there
with two children. I am try- anything you can suggest to
ing to come to terms with get him to at least sit down
my childhood. I grew up with my therapist and me?
in a dysfunctional family, — Recovering
with an alcoholic father and
Dear Recovering: I am
a mother who had
so sorry for what
numerous affairs.
you went through,
DEAR
My elder brother,
but I’m very glad
ANNIE
“Michael,” was my
to hear that you’re
world. He is only
in therapy. I believe
three years older
that your therapist is
than I am, but he
right — that there is
practically
raised
little you can do to
me. He is the one
get Michael to admit
who got me dressed
the past. I encour-
and ready for school ANNIE LANE age you to stay in
Creators
every morning, fed
therapy, as I believe
Syndicate Inc.
me, helped me with
you’ll fi nd that you
my homework, and
have many path-
tucked me in at night.
ways to recovery that don’t
When I was 12 years require Michael’s participa-
old, my parents were going tion. Call the Rape, Abuse
through a nasty divorce, and & Incest National Net-
our home had become a war work’s hotline anytime if
zone. I began to cling to my you need someone to talk to:
brother even more for com- 800-656-4673.
fort and safety.
Dear Annie: Though
I am ashamed to admit your answer to “Craving
that our relationship became Kicks” was good, I think it
inappropriate and sexual was slightly incomplete.
in nature. To this day, I am
She said she felt com-
not sure how it happened. pletely free, present and
It was never the same after powerful when she scored
that, and we never discussed her fi rst soccer goal and was
what we had done.
indeed recalling those feel-
About a year ago, I ings. But I submit that any
started to go to therapy to endeavor also has the poten-
deal with my past. I still love tial to give those exact feel-
Michael and want to try to ings of freedom, power
understand what we did and and presentness when it is
how it happened.
pursued with practice and
I approached him about then success is achieved. It
meeting with my therapist, depends on the intensity of
but he reacted with anger. the pursuit, the amount of
He claims to have no mem- focus and practice, and how
ory of any sexual encounters crowd-pleasing accomplish-
between us. He says it never ments are. It does not have
happened and I must be to be soccer. Successful pro-
imagining the whole thing.
fessionals in all sports and in
As God is my witness, I other endeavors — music,
remember what happened acting, academics — expe-
between us. I am not look- rience the same power, free-
ing to accuse. I just want dom and presentness, which
to understand. He has told come from concentration
every member of the family, and focus. This makes me
including our divorced par- wish I had practiced the
ents, that I am some kind of piano more. — Kathy in Vir-
a pervert with bizarre, sick ginia Beach
fantasies about him. Unfor-
Dear Kathy in Virginia
tunately, the family believes Beach: I’m printing your
him.
letter because I agree com-
My therapist says that pletely. Great points. And
there is little I can do to get it’s never too late: Go tickle
Michael to admit to our past, those ivories!
RELIGION BRIEFS
Community HU sing
Grace Episcopal
SEASIDE — A Sound
Of Soul Event, Singing HU
(Hue), an ancient name for
God, takes place at 3 p.m.
Sunday at the Seaside Pub-
lic Library, 1131 Broadway,
sponsored by ECKANKAR,
The Path Of Spiritual Free-
dom. For information, con-
tact Seann Valen at eck-
coast@gmail.com
A “Music Old and New”
concert, featuring music
from six centuries, is being
presented at 2 p.m. Sunday
at Grace Episcopal Church,
1545 Franklin Ave.
Organist Ray Utterback
leads the program, play-
ing works by well-known
composers from each cen-
tury. The church’s resi-
dent organist, Vincent Cen-
teno, and soprano Berenice
Jones-Centeno, are also
participating in the con-
cert, representing compos-
ers of the 18th and the 19th
centuries.
Admission
is
free,
with donations gratefully
accepted for the Grace
Organ Fund. The Estey
pipe organ at the church is
over a century old; it was
dedicated in 1905.
For information, call the
church at 503-325-4691 or
go to www.graceastoria.
org
Cannon Beach
Community
CANNON BEACH —
Cannon Beach Community
Church, 132 E. Washington
St., holds an Evensong ser-
vice at 6 p.m. the fi rst and
third Sunday of the month.
All are welcome.
Evensong features Wes
Warhmund (guitar, fl ute
and clarinet) and medita-
tive songs, Psalms, read-
ings, candlelight and time
for quiet refl ection.
For information, call the
church at 503-436-1222.
SELF-HELP GROUPS
Al-Anon (Astoria) —
7 p.m. Tuesday, Peace Lutheran
Church, 565 12th St.;12 p.m.
Wednesday, First United Meth-
odist Church, 1076 Frank-
lin Ave. For information, call
503-325-1087.
Al-Anon (Clatskanie) —
7 p.m. Monday, Faith Lutheran
Church, 1010 N.E. Fifth St.,
Clatskanie. For information, call
503-728-3351.
Al-Anon (Nehalem) —
7 p.m. Monday, Riverbend
Room, North County Recre-
ation District, 36155 Ninth
St. For information, call
503-368-8255.
Al-Anon (Seaside) —
6:30 p.m. Tuesday, Seaside Pub-
lic Library, 1131 Broadway, call
503-810-5196 for information.
Al-Anon (Tillamook) —
7:30 p.m. Wednesday, St. Albans
Episcopal Church, 2102 Sixth
St., call 503-842-5094 for infor-
mation; 9 a.m. Thursday, 6505
Headquarter St., Tillamook;
noon Friday, 5012 Third St., call
503-730-5863 for information.
Al-Anon Family Groups
information — Oregon Area
Al-Anon
website,
orego-
nal-anon.org
Alateen (Tillamook) —
4 p.m. Monday, 5012 Third
St. For information, call
503-730-5863.
Alcoholics Anonymous —
To fi nd a meeting in Clatsop
County, call 971-601-9220, in
Tillamook County, call 503-739-
4856, or go to aa-oregon.org
Celebrate Recovery — 6 to
8 p.m. Thursdays, North Coast
Family Fellowship, 2245 N.
Wahanna Road, Seaside. Faith-
based 12-step recovery from
hurts, habits and hang ups. For
information, call 503-738-7453.
Churchill Mortgage
donates to Helping Hands
Churchill Mortgage, which is opening an offi ce in Astoria in March, recently delivered Sackcloth & Ashes blanket boxes
fi lled with essentials to the local Helping Hands outreach center. During the holiday season, the company partnered with
its clients to gather donations and assemble the boxes to help local neighbors in need. Pictured, bottom, Ashleigh Naslund;
top, from left, Krista Schram and Melanie Wiegardt.
Assistance League receives check from Holly McHone Jewelers
At its fi rst membership meeting of the new year, the Assistance
League of the Columbia Pacifi c was presented a check for
$2,300 from Holly McHone Jewelers. ALCP was selected as their
nonprofi t partner for the 2019 Christmas Gem Bag Special.
The donation supports ALCP’s Operation School Bell, which
provides clothing to Clatsop County students in need. Pictured
from left, Karen Radditz, president of ALCP, Holly McHone and
Kevin McHone. For information about the Assistance League
and membership, go to assistanceleaguecp.org
Consult a
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PROFESSIONAL
Q: What does “Support
Phone and Internet Discounts
Available to CenturyLink Customers
The Oregon Public Utility Commission designated
CenturyLink as an Eligible Telecommunications
Carrier within its service area for universal service
purposes. CenturyLink’s basic local service rates
for residential voice lines are $18.80-$19.80 per
month and business services are $31.00-$35.00
per month. Specific rates will be provided upon
request.
CenturyLink participates in a government benefit
program (Lifeline) to make residential telephone or
broadband service more affordable to eligible low-
income individuals and families. Eligible customers
are those that meet eligibility standards as defined
by the FCC and state commissions. Residents
who live on federally recognized Tribal Lands
may qualify for additional Tribal benefits if they
participate in certain additional federal eligibility
programs. The Lifeline discount is available for
only one telephone or qualifying broadband service
per household, which can be either a wireline or
wireless service. Broadband speeds must be 20
Mbps download and 3 Mbps upload or faster to
qualify.
A household is defined for the purposes of the
Lifeline program as any individual or group of
individuals who live together at the same address
and share income and expenses. Lifeline service is
not transferable, and only eligible consumers may
enroll in the program. Consumers who willfully
make false statements in order to obtain Lifeline
telephone or broadband service can be punished
by fine or imprisonment and can be barred from
the program.
If you live in a CenturyLink service area, please call
1-888-833-9522 or visit centurylink.com/lifeline
with questions or to request an application for the
Lifeline program.
for Windows 7 ends
Jan. 14th” mean?
LEO FINZI
provides “security” and
A: Microsoft
“features updates” for their sup-
ported operating systems (OS) for 10
years after introduction. If a way for vi-
Fast,
rus or ransomware to infect a Windows
Friendly &
machine is discovered, their engineers
Affordable!
work to fix those vulnerabilities. As web
Windows 7 support pages, programs and games continue
ends Jan. 2020. Full
upgrade only $199 to evolve, their engineers add “features
updates,” the ability to recognize and
Mon-Fri 10-6, Sat 11-4
decode those enhancements. After
77 11th Street, Suite H
Astoria, OR • 503-325-2300 10 years, those patches, etc. get to be
Astoria’s Best.com excessive, and a new OS is needed.
Q: How does sensitive
toothpaste work?
one of your teeth — it
A: Imagine
has two main sections: the crown
above the gum line and the root below.
JEFFREY M. LEINASSAR
DMD, FAGD
L E I NA S S A R
DENTAL EXCELLENCE
503/325-0310
1414 MARINE DRIVE,
ASTORIA
www.smileastoria.com
People with sensitive teeth experience
pain when their teeth are exposed to
something hot, cold or when pressure
is applied. The layer of enamel may be
thinner and the gum line may have
receded, exposing more dentin, which
makes teeth more sensitive.
Sensitive toothpaste, usually containing a
chemical called strontium chloride, works
by blocking the tubules in the dentine.
Repeated use builds up a strong barrier
by plugging the tubules more and more,
leading to less-sensitive teeth.
Q: What is the best
way to get results
from my limited
advertising dollar?
Lisa
Cadonau
Advertising Representative
503-325-3211
www.dailyastorian.com
949 Exchange St., Astoria, OR
A: The combination of a
print and online audience is
recession proof. We have an
excellent print and online
special for this time of year.
Give your sales representative
a call today to hear more
about it!