B2
THE ASTORIAN • SATURDAY, JANUARY 11, 2020
Parents, caregivers
need care, too
Dear Annie: I have a but you can’t continue to
31-year-old son who has offer your money. If he is at
always struggled with men- a loss as to how to get back
tal illness issues. He was into the workforce, you can
diagnosed with depression point him toward Individ-
at age 15 and again in his ual Placement and Support
early 20s when we sent him (https://ipsworks.org). The
to a weeklong involuntary National Alliance on Men-
residential
treat-
tal Illness states
ment. He will not
that IPS “can help
DEAR
stay on medication
people with men-
ANNIE
or go to counseling.
tal illness fi nd and
In the meantime,
keep meaningful
after years of not
jobs,
supporting
being able to keep
their mental health
a job, he fi nally had
recovery.”
a good job for two
And lest you
years, which he lost
think you’re alone
16 months ago. He ANNIE LANE in this, please read
Creators
moved in with us 10
on.
Syndicate Inc.
months ago and has
Dear
Annie:
made no effort to
I’ve read letters in
search for another job. We your column from parents
gave him a deadline to get a at their wits’ end regard-
job or move out, because we ing children’s behavior,
are nearing retirement age whether they’re adolescents
and cannot continue to pay or adults.
for his living expenses, his
My son has a personality
car insurance and other bills disorder, and I often have
that come up. It is obvious found myself exasperated. I
that he is not going to get a had to call the police twice
job. We do not want him to and take him to the ER
be homeless. He has been once. And I’ve done a lot of
there before, and I know the praying. I talk to him every
outlook on homelessness night and tried to encourage
and those with mental ill- him. I am always bending
ness is not good. However, over backward. It has been
we can’t continue to enable very diffi cult.
him. He can function. What
Many things have
should we do? — Parents worked out well for him that
at a Crossroads
previously were sources of
Dear Parents: I am so stress. We are all still work-
sorry that you and your ing on it. I’m very thank-
family are struggling with ful to God and my relatives,
the ongoing battle that is who gave my son much
mental illness. As painful as needed social support. I
it can be to draw boundar- encourage parents who
ies with our adult children, have written to you in sim-
you said it best: To con- ilar situations to keep pray-
tinue paying all of his liv- ing and to contact NAMI. I
ing expenses at this point have done that in the past.
would be to enable him. If And ask family and friends
he is capable of working, as if they can help. — S.B.
you stated, then a job could
Dear S.B.: I’m print-
not only help stabilize his ing your letter because it
housing and fi nances; it touches on such an import-
could help with his mental ant point: As important as
health. Humans thrive with it is to set boundaries, it’s
routine.
equally important to reach
So let your son know out to others for support.
that you will always uncon- Caregivers need care given
ditionally offer your love, to them, too.
Photos by Katherine Lacaze
Seaside High School students practice a song during band class, which is held during fi rst period throughout the year.
Band: Includes 93 young musicians
Continued from Page B1
Plus, since band meets
during fi rst period, “it’s a
nice start to the day,” junior
Briana Boyd, who plays
fl ute and piccolo, said.
Opportunities
In addition to the sym-
phonic band, Seaside also
has a pep band and jazz
band, which involves the
same students playing dif-
ferent types of songs. The
jazz band includes 17 ded-
icated students who com-
mit to attending practice at
7:15 a.m. throughout the
week. They are introduced
to different techniques and a
style that incorporates more
improvisation and soloing.
“That part to me is very
fun, to see people get more
confi dent doing that kind of
thing,” Dahlgren said.
The jazz band plays at
various community func-
tions in addition to the
school’s concerts. They were
Students who are in the symphonic band also partake in the
pep band, and 17 students also play in the jazz band.
featured artists at the Seaside
Jazz Festival in the past, and
in January of this year, they
performed a joint concert
with the North Coast Big
Band at the Times Theatre.
The pep band attends
games, assemblies and other
activities where school spirit
is highlighted, playing popu-
lar songs and familiar movie
soundtracks. That band’s
focus is “trying to add to the
atmosphere of the event,”
Dahlgren said.
The students like the
varied types of ensembles
offered.
Boyd enjoys playing the
different styles of music.
While the competition
pieces are more challenging,
pushing her to work harder
and reap a greater sense of
achievement, the pep band
songs are fun and familiar.
“They’re enjoyable in dif-
ferent ways,” she said. “You
feel the reward when you’re
doing the hard stuff, but
when you’re doing the eas-
ier stuff, it’s just fun to play.”
Mace also doesn’t feel
daunted by challenging
songs but appreciates the
process of taking steps to
improve.
That persistence and
commitment is something
encouraged by Dahlgren
and his style of instruction,
which facilitates “the idea
of not being good at some-
thing and being okay with
that, because you can make
a roadmap,” Mace said, add-
ing, “That’s an enjoyable
thing to be around and in
class with.”
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