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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Jan. 11, 2020)
B2 THE ASTORIAN • SATURDAY, JANUARY 11, 2020 Parents, caregivers need care, too Dear Annie: I have a but you can’t continue to 31-year-old son who has offer your money. If he is at always struggled with men- a loss as to how to get back tal illness issues. He was into the workforce, you can diagnosed with depression point him toward Individ- at age 15 and again in his ual Placement and Support early 20s when we sent him (https://ipsworks.org). The to a weeklong involuntary National Alliance on Men- residential treat- tal Illness states ment. He will not that IPS “can help DEAR stay on medication people with men- ANNIE or go to counseling. tal illness fi nd and In the meantime, keep meaningful after years of not jobs, supporting being able to keep their mental health a job, he fi nally had recovery.” a good job for two And lest you years, which he lost think you’re alone 16 months ago. He ANNIE LANE in this, please read Creators moved in with us 10 on. Syndicate Inc. months ago and has Dear Annie: made no effort to I’ve read letters in search for another job. We your column from parents gave him a deadline to get a at their wits’ end regard- job or move out, because we ing children’s behavior, are nearing retirement age whether they’re adolescents and cannot continue to pay or adults. for his living expenses, his My son has a personality car insurance and other bills disorder, and I often have that come up. It is obvious found myself exasperated. I that he is not going to get a had to call the police twice job. We do not want him to and take him to the ER be homeless. He has been once. And I’ve done a lot of there before, and I know the praying. I talk to him every outlook on homelessness night and tried to encourage and those with mental ill- him. I am always bending ness is not good. However, over backward. It has been we can’t continue to enable very diffi cult. him. He can function. What Many things have should we do? — Parents worked out well for him that at a Crossroads previously were sources of Dear Parents: I am so stress. We are all still work- sorry that you and your ing on it. I’m very thank- family are struggling with ful to God and my relatives, the ongoing battle that is who gave my son much mental illness. As painful as needed social support. I it can be to draw boundar- encourage parents who ies with our adult children, have written to you in sim- you said it best: To con- ilar situations to keep pray- tinue paying all of his liv- ing and to contact NAMI. I ing expenses at this point have done that in the past. would be to enable him. If And ask family and friends he is capable of working, as if they can help. — S.B. you stated, then a job could Dear S.B.: I’m print- not only help stabilize his ing your letter because it housing and fi nances; it touches on such an import- could help with his mental ant point: As important as health. Humans thrive with it is to set boundaries, it’s routine. equally important to reach So let your son know out to others for support. that you will always uncon- Caregivers need care given ditionally offer your love, to them, too. Photos by Katherine Lacaze Seaside High School students practice a song during band class, which is held during fi rst period throughout the year. Band: Includes 93 young musicians Continued from Page B1 Plus, since band meets during fi rst period, “it’s a nice start to the day,” junior Briana Boyd, who plays fl ute and piccolo, said. Opportunities In addition to the sym- phonic band, Seaside also has a pep band and jazz band, which involves the same students playing dif- ferent types of songs. The jazz band includes 17 ded- icated students who com- mit to attending practice at 7:15 a.m. throughout the week. They are introduced to different techniques and a style that incorporates more improvisation and soloing. “That part to me is very fun, to see people get more confi dent doing that kind of thing,” Dahlgren said. The jazz band plays at various community func- tions in addition to the school’s concerts. They were Students who are in the symphonic band also partake in the pep band, and 17 students also play in the jazz band. featured artists at the Seaside Jazz Festival in the past, and in January of this year, they performed a joint concert with the North Coast Big Band at the Times Theatre. The pep band attends games, assemblies and other activities where school spirit is highlighted, playing popu- lar songs and familiar movie soundtracks. That band’s focus is “trying to add to the atmosphere of the event,” Dahlgren said. The students like the varied types of ensembles offered. Boyd enjoys playing the different styles of music. While the competition pieces are more challenging, pushing her to work harder and reap a greater sense of achievement, the pep band songs are fun and familiar. “They’re enjoyable in dif- ferent ways,” she said. “You feel the reward when you’re doing the hard stuff, but when you’re doing the eas- ier stuff, it’s just fun to play.” Mace also doesn’t feel daunted by challenging songs but appreciates the process of taking steps to improve. That persistence and commitment is something encouraged by Dahlgren and his style of instruction, which facilitates “the idea of not being good at some- thing and being okay with that, because you can make a roadmap,” Mace said, add- ing, “That’s an enjoyable thing to be around and in class with.” A health insurance company that invests in you. Columbia Pacific CCO is proudly nonprofit and community-led. That’s why we help our friends and neighbors get the health care they deserve from the Oregon Health Plan. 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