B2
THE ASTORIAN • SATURDAY, JULY 27, 2019
Astoria: You know you’re a local if you know ‘Stinky Beach’
Continued from Page B1
You watched “The
Goonies” chase scene
being filmed on 8th Street
in real time.
You heard that some-
one’s mom saw Arnold
Schwarzenegger shopping
at Fred Meyer.
You were an extra in
“Kindergarten Cop” or
“Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles.”
You remember the old
YMCA, The Thunderbird,
The Launchpad and Hot
Diggety Dogs.
You remember when
Custard King was pink and
purple.
You’ve seen the dog
catcher’s truck roll up the
street and sprint away to
find your dog.
You’ve gone “card-
board sledding” at Asto-
ria Middle School in the
summer.
You remember when
the fabric store was right
downtown.
You remember when the
Crab Festival was at the
Port of Astoria.
A pack of clowns driv-
ing in a backwards car
down the road didn’t even
phase you.
You know you’re a
local if …
You know “Social Secu-
rity Beach” and “Stinky
Beach.”
You measure car trips by
hours and old landmarks,
not miles or mileposts.
It’s your God-given
right to collapse in a heap
if it’s over 65 degrees out.
You’ve hung out with
former Mayor Willis Van
Dusen.
You remember when
there was a house in the
middle of Tapiola Park.
Someone from out of
town gave you an umbrella
as a gift but you never use
it.
You remember Pier 11,
Cecil and Home Bakery’s
maple bars.
Someone you know has
worked at a cannery.
You’ve heard: “smells
like money,” “buoy 10,”
“pukers,” “June hogs” and
“greenhorn,” Snus, high
waters, Romeos, Pipeline,
Shark Rock, sturdy women
and lutefisk.
A friend, co-worker or
family member hands you
a fish or crab they just
caught.
You remember when
Video Horizons rented out
VCRs and you still love
going there.
Photos by Sara Meyer
The Clatsop County Fairgrounds in downtown Astoria in 1989.
LEFT: Danish Maid Bakery in Astoria where the Good to Go sandwich and pastry shop is now located. MIDDLE: The old Clatsop County Fairgrounds where the
Astoria Aquatic Center and Astoria Gateway Cinema are now located. RIGHT: Hot Diggety Dogs.
We know
you’re a newcomer
when you ...
Pronounce
“Oregon”
“ore-ah-gone” and not
“organ” like the heart or
liver.
Peel off your rain gear
the moment it stops raining,
thereby challenging the rain
gods.
Think that the Colum-
bia River looks like a lovely
place to swim.
Get your car stuck in the
sand on your fi rst trip to the
beach.
Sprint across the docks
Brother-in-law blind to alcohol issues
Dear Annie: I’m writ- how maintains his friend-
ing because I hope the per- ships with his neighbors,
son this will help most will who also don’t discourage
read it. My brother-in-law him from drinking, which is
is an alcoholic and won’t why he prefers being around
see that he has a problem. them.
His youngest brother died
When I suggest that
of alcoholic hepatitis, and someone try to explain to
he is headed down the same him when he is sober what
path. He is also emotion- he does (he blacks out and
ally abusive to anyone in his claims to be unaware that
family (though not
he did these things),
DEAR
friends or acquain-
they say that it would
ANNIE
tances) that comes
only make it worse.
in contact with him
I know we can’t fi x
when he is drunk,
an alcoholic until
and he’s drunk more
he desires to change
often than not. He
himself, but I want
has passed out on his
my mother-in-law to
dinner plate, fallen
show him that there
down in our drive- ANNIE LANE are consequences for
Creators
way into the bushes,
his actions. When he
Syndicate Inc.
routinely passes out
gets this way, I want
right after dinner
her or his wife to
and has driven while drunk leave the dinner table, leave
(much to our chagrin). It is his house or otherwise let
especially disturbing when him know immediately that
he drunkenly screams at his this behavior is unaccept-
own wife and his mother. It able. They do not, and we all
is typically a tirade of exple- just sit there shaking, hearts
tives. My husband has tried racing, wondering if he will
to get him to see that he strike out physically next.
has an issue. I have started
I can’t stop going to din-
attending Al-Anon, and I ners with my husband. We
invited his wife and my do limit time spent with my
mother-in-law, who both in-laws, but I am stumped
refuse to go.
as to what to say next time
I’m saddened that we he gets belligerently drunk
have lost this person who and starts in with his abusive
once was good to be around. tirades. Do we walk out leav-
No one stops him when he ing dinner on the table? Do
gets abusive; no one corrects we tell him we won’t spend
him or otherwise exposes any time with him unless
him to any consequences for he gets help? Any sugges-
his actions. So, he continues tions from you or your read-
to drink and to become emo- ers would be appreciated. —
tionally abusive. He some- Frustrated and Frazzled
Dear Frustrated and
Frazzled: I’m so sorry to
hear that the disease of alco-
holism has your beloved
brother-in-law in its grip,
and I hope he’ll fi nd his way
toward recovery eventually.
In the meantime, excusing
yourselves from social sit-
uations in which he begins
getting drunk is a fi ne idea,
and you should feel empow-
ered to do that. As for tell-
ing him you won’t spend
any time with him unless
he gets help: That, too, is a
fi ne idea, provided the fol-
lowing: 1) You are mak-
ing the ultimatum for your-
selves, not because you hope
to infl uence his behavior; 2)
You are 100% sure that you
and your husband both mean
it; and 3) You and your hus-
band are both willing to see
it through.
You’re absolutely right
that family should stop
shielding him from the con-
sequences of his actions, as
this only further enables his
alcoholism. But you can’t
force your sister-in-law and
mother-in-law to under-
stand this; it’s a conclusion
they have to reach for them-
selves. I encourage you to
continue to attend Al-Anon
(or another program, such as
Families Anonymous, and/
or therapy) and to work with
your husband to set bound-
aries between his brother
and you two.
Lastly, when you know
that he’s getting behind the
wheel of a car after drink-
after a fresh rain.
Ask what time of the
year the deer change into
elk.
Ask what time of the
year the tide comes in.
Say “Southslope” and
“I’m taking The Five” to
Portland.
You argue about the
Ducks vs. the Beavs (we’re
all secretly friends).
Stop your car in the mid-
dle of highway for an elk,
eagle, raccoon or possum
photo.
Assume that “The Dirty
D” is a wrestling move.
Assume that Astoria
owes you something you’ve
heard about in other places
called “summer,” where
the sun shines more than it
rains.
Heather Douglas is a
freelance writer, illustrator
and educator.