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THE ASTORIAN • SATURDAY, MAY 25, 2019
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DailyAstorian
Writer explores being
a lady in Regency England
By MURIEL JENSEN
For The Astorian
T
he danger of doing research is that it’s hard
to stop.
Caught up in fi nding all the things I
wanted to know in order to set a romance novel
in the Regency Period (1811-1820) — think Jane
Austen’s classic novel, “Pride
and Prejudice” — I learned that
a woman’s behavior was so sti-
fl ed, I wasn’t sure I could create
such a woman. Until I remem-
bered that a character who does
the unexpected is always where
the story is.
It is fun that the rigid manners and rules of
the period lend themselves to forced engage-
ments and marriages, scandals, ruined reputa-
tions, parlor farces and all the things that chal-
lenge romance.
These are some of the rules women had to
follow to be considered respectable:
Stand straight and walk tall
A woman’s every movement was judged
by polite society, including how she walked
— even how she stood still. Movement had
to be graceful, easy and elegant.
For perfect posture, many women used a
backboard — a single piece of wood that ran
up her back and was tied with leather straps
to keep it in place. Along with rigid bod-
ices and corsets, the backboard would have
made it diffi cult to move, much less slouch.
Don’t talk like a man
A woman had to walk a fi ne line between
being courteous, without being too famil-
iar or, heaven forbid, fl irtatious. She was
expected to treat friends and strangers
alike with courteous dignity at all times.
Expressing an opinion was discouraged,
and her conversation could be amusing as
long as she didn’t laugh out loud.
Do faint if the situation calls for it
The shock of a crude or vulgar com-
ment could cause a woman to faint —
a perfectly acceptable response. She
would then be led to a fainting couch
and someone would pass a small jar of
vapors under her nose. “Poor nerves”
were considered a normal reaction to
stress.
In defense of the Regency woman,
we have to imagine that those back-
boards and corsets must have caused
her to feel light-headed, and she grew
up stifl ed by rules and unable to ever
assert her independence. It’s no won-
der she often fainted or sometimes
behaved in a childlike way.
Don’t be alone in
the company of a man
The simple distillation of this rule is “Don’t!”
An unmarried woman under the age of 30 was
never to be seen in the company of a man without
a chaperone present. Even to conduct business, a
woman could not go to a man’s offi ce without being
accompanied.
She also couldn’t go out alone — even to go
shopping. She had to be accompanied by another
woman, a male relative or a servant. She could walk
to church on Sunday morning or take an early morn-
ing constitutional around the block. Makes one won-
der how much hanky-panky might have occurred on
Sunday morning, or on a walk around the block.
against excessive displays of affection.
A man could place a shawl around a lady’s shoul-
ders, help her off a horse, and she could offer her hand
for a kiss. Otherwise, it was hands off.
Do keep quiet about any
extramarital affairs
Wait to be introduced to someone
Introductions were complicated and ignoring
the rules was a serious breach of etiquette. Intro-
ductions between members of the opposite sex were
usually made by elderly, respected matrons, moth-
ers and clergy. A couple had to be introduced before
they could interact socially. A man could not be
called by his fi rst name, but by his family name, or
his title, if he had one. When introduced, the lady
always gave an abbreviated curtsy, and the gentle-
man, a modest bow.
Don’t dance with the same
man more than twice
There was no such thing as a Ladies’ Choice. The
man did all the asking, and only if he’d been for-
mally introduced to the lady.
One dance was to be expected. Two dances sug-
gested the gentleman wanted to know the lady bet-
ter. Three dances would indicate the lady was being
overly familiar, which might harm her reputation.
Creative Commons
Keep your hands to yourself
As you can imagine, in this rule-infested society,
touching was to be avoided. Even a man and a woman
shaking hands suggested the woman was too familiar.
Ladies were permitted to squeeze the hand of a man
to whom they’d been introduced, but were warned
In view of all’s that’s gone before regarding rules,
this last one strikes me as hilarious. Apparently, all the
rules about dancing and touching weren’t as effective
as intended. And so much energy was spent on appear-
ances, there seemed little judgment left for morality.
A man was advised to keep his extracurricular
activities completely separate from his marriage. It
was ungentlemanly to bring scandal upon his wife.
A lady could take a lover, as long as she had given
birth (ideally, to two children — the classic “heir and
a spare”) and she was discreet.
Again, in the Regency woman’s — and man’s —
defense, so many marriages at that time were struck
to gain money, land or title that maybe their search for
love is understandable if not acceptable.
So, I’ve created a character who fl outs the rules.
No heroine of mine is going to wear a backboard,
have to stifl e laughter, withhold opinions or displays
of affection. The simple truth is that the female whose
behavior is womanly, rather than lady-like, is so much
better equipped to deal with life — and love.
Muriel Jensen of Astoria wrote for Harlequin from
1984 until her recent retirement. She’s published 93
books in the American Romance line, Superromance
and Harlequin Historicals.
A WOMAN HAD TO WALK A FINE LINE BETWEEN BEING COURTEOUS, WITHOUT
BEING TOO FAMILIAR OR, HEAVEN FORBID, FLIRTATIOUS. SHE WAS EXPECTED
TO TREAT FRIENDS AND STRANGERS ALIKE WITH COURTEOUS DIGNITY AT ALL
TIMES. EXPRESSING AN OPINION WAS DISCOURAGED, AND HER CONVERSATION
COULD BE AMUSING AS LONG AS SHE DIDN’T LAUGH OUT LOUD.