A6
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • MONDAY, ApRIL 8, 2019
Temporarily cutting ties
Dear Annie: I recently of seeing him or talking to
went no-contact with my him makes me panicky? I
father. We had a tumultuous don’t want to cut ties forever,
relationship when I was grow- but I need time and space. —
ing up because of his struggle Blamed for Bedlam
with mental illness.
Dear Blamed: I
DEAR
Before going no-con-
applaud you for seek-
ANNIE
ing out the space you
tact with him, every
need during this time.
phone call caused me
It’s never ideal to
intense anxiety and
have to cease contact
triggered symptoms of
with family members,
post-traumatic stress
but it is sometimes
disorder. My decision
necessary.
to go no-contact was a
Your letter’s last
long time coming, and ANNIE LANE
Creators
line — “I don’t want
I did not take it lightly.
Syndicate Inc.
to cut ties forever, but
But I need this space
I need time and space”
from him for my men-
tal well-being.
— says it all. Share that state-
He does not understand ment with your father. Know
this. He thinks I’m taking a that he may not be in a healthy
step backward, that I’m run- enough place to recognize
ning away from the prob- and respect your boundaries.
lem. I tried to explain to him In that case, you might need
how PTSD works, that events to take more concrete steps
from years ago still haunt me toward asserting them — such
because they were traumatic as blocking his number tempo-
— and happened to an impres- rarily so you’re not barraged
sionable child. But now I feel with stress-inducing texts and
like a villain, as if I’m in the voice messages. Also, I hope
wrong somehow. And he’s still that you’re seeing a therapist.
texting me regularly.
PTSD should not go without
Is there any way to make professional treatment.
him understand that I need
Dear Annie: My 62-year-
space, that the mere thought old live-in boyfriend of 13
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
years hates it when my daugh-
ter comes to visit on the week-
ends. The whole time that
she’s here, he’s in a horrible
mood. He says it’s “BS” that
she comes to visit. She lives
about an hour away. I love my
daughter and will never tell
her that she can’t come home.
She is 32. What can I do to
make things better? — Incred-
ibly Frustrated
Dear Incredibly Frus-
trated: Your boyfriend is way
out of bounds, and that sort
of trash talk is inappropriate
and hurtful. That said, there
are two sides to every story,
and I’m attempting to imagine
what his side might be here.
Perhaps he’s wanted to do
something with you over the
weekend. Or maybe he just
feels obligated to play host
to your daughter when in fact
you’d be fine with him doing
his own thing. The only way
to solve this case is through
conversation. Hear each other
out, and try to come to a com-
promise that you both feel is
fair. For example, your daugh-
ter might visit less frequently,
or you might visit her some
weekends instead.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). It would be very
easy to accidentally paint yourself into a corner
today, and if you follow along, just doing the next
thing and the next that occur to you, you’ll wind
up stuck. Make a plan before you start, and then
stick to it.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Remind yourself how
much you want to better people’s lives before
you start your work today, as whatever you have
in front of your mind will change everything.
too close to the picture. You’re getting the texture
of brushstrokes without knowing what you’re
looking at. Step back. This can be most easily
accomplished through actual physical distance.
Take a trip.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). The best things
happen when you’re listening, receptive, still in-
side and out. Feeling acknowledged, others show
you their best and learn to trust you.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Life is improvisation.
What’s tossed your way will be nothing like you
asked for or expected, but because you want the
“scene” to go well, you’ll accept whatever you’re
given and build on it.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). A very high-sta-
tus person acting like a regular goof is charming.
A low-status person goofing is annoying. Some-
one midrank behaving as expected is boring.
Consider your place in the game and how to play
it effectively.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). If you go from
glimpsing your own glory to avoiding mirrors for
fear of locking eyes with ineptitude, then you’re
healthier than many. It’s the ones who never
doubt themselves you have to look out for. Take a
breath. Believe.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). No one knows
what to say. So you can relax and let yourself off
the hook for whatever you did say, reflexively,
accidentally, clumsily, frustratedly. ... It got out,
and now you can learn from it or just forget about
it. Your choice.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You can recognize the val-
ue in a thing and still somehow know that it’s not
for you. It just doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t quicken
your pulse or make you want to lean in. Trust
those instincts. Say thank you. And move on.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You have excellent
questions today and will get quick answers if
you ask those questions properly, which is to say
directly, simply and unemotionally.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). The shamans say that
stones, oceans and mountains are alive and com-
municating. Of course, things that are not human
do not communicate in human voices. Interpreta-
tion is key in all things today. Put out your feelers.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Right now, you’re
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). This day is a se-
quence of seemingly unrelated events, but you’ll
see a thread through them and extrapolate a
meaning that’s personal to you. You’re the true
artist, making very specific choices from the
varied palette of life.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (April 9). You’ll take
care of business, the first business being your
own personal fulfillment. Making pleasure a prior-
ity isn’t always hedonistic. This year, figuring out
what delights your senses will lead you down a
path of greater health and contribution. What you
learn in June helps you sock money away for an
adventure. Leo and Cancer adore you. Your lucky
numbers are: 8, 40, 3, 33 and 18.