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THE DAILY ASTORIAN • FRIDAY, MARcH 8, 2019
Choir director lacks hygiene
Dear Annie: I am a member feelings for a minute, but hav-
of a small Midwestern church ing other choir members and
and in the choir. There are about the pastor talk about her behind
10 of us, and we all have a good her back is much more hurtful.
time together. The problem is If you decide to be the brave
the organist and choir director, lion out of the group, make sure
who has held these
you come from a loving
DEAR
positions for nearly 50
and caring place and not
ANNIE
years. As she is getting
a judgmental one. Speak
older, she is neglect-
with her in private about
ing to either shower
your concerns. Begin
or change her clothes,
the conversation by ask-
ing her whether anything
which I can often
different has been going
smell in our small
on in her life before you
practice room.
She also is los- ANNIE LANE dive right into the sub-
Creators
ing her hearing and
ject matter of the stench.
Syndicate Inc.
doesn’t hear us when
My hunch is that there has
we ask questions
been a change in her life.
about the music during practice. Sometimes depression, loneli-
Thus, she drowns us out when ness or other forms of mental ill-
playing on Sunday or when ness can lead to not bathing and
made angry. I believe that our bad hygiene. If that is the case,
pastor is afraid to say anything to it is important for her to get help
her, and I don’t believe that any and know she is supported and
other choir members will say loved.
Dear Annie: I like my job
anything, either. She can take
offense easily. Any suggestions? except for one thing: The office
Sadly, I don’t believe she reads a has a toxic gossiping culture.
newspaper, so she won’t see her- I regularly hear my immedi-
ate boss saying unsavory things
self here. — Afraid to Offend
Dear Afraid to Offend: about many of my co-workers to
Sometimes, having a direct and other members of middle man-
honest conversation is the best agement. The co-workers being
way not to offend someone in gossiped about are people I
the long run. It may hurt her respect and enjoy working with.
These members of middle man-
agement know that I can hear
the terrible things they’re say-
ing. Though they may be talking
in the next room, they’ve often
looked over to me to “include”
me in the conversation. This
has put me in a really awk-
ward position. I have no desire
to join in their bad-mouthing.
And frankly, I think it’s unpro-
fessional of them to be saying
such things in the workplace —
especially in earshot of employ-
ees who are lower on the totem
pole. I don’t like this culture, and
I want no part in it — but I want
to keep this job. Help! — Invol-
untary Confidante
Dear Confidante: You are
very wise to ignore the gos-
siping. There is an old Turkish
proverb that states, “Who gos-
sips to you will gossip of you.”
You could try to turn the gos-
sip back on the gossipers with
a positive thing to say about the
person they are speaking about.
Also, you should report this to
upper management. Gossip is
toxic, and I’m sure that if those
in upper management knew
about what is going on, they
would want to put an end to it.
Some companies have zero-tol-
erance gossip policies.
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). Unselfconsciousness
can be very attractive until it happens to offend
(and it will, because its very nature is a lack of
concern for each person’s individual opinions and
rules.) But usually by then it’s already won people
over.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). When you can’t think
of anything to make the situation better, the best
thing to say is nothing at all. Let your compassion-
ate heart lead you. If it leads you away from the
drama, you won’t be running, you’ll just be staying
out of it.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You stand by your peo-
ple even when you know that they have behaved
in ways that are less than ideal. Because they trust
you, they won’t be so defensive. Together you’ll
work toward solutions.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Today’s theme: manag-
ing expectations. Your performance will set the
bar. Better to make a credible attempt and fail than
to nail every contest like a superhero, setting an
unsustainable standard.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You were convinced of the
truth and now you’re starting to see things a little
differently. It’s not that you were lied to, it’s just that
the situation is more complex and nuanced than
you were able to understand back then.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Take the attitude that
“this is it” instead of expecting life to get better,
which of course isn’t how it works. Attitudes get
better. Moods, other things too. But life — life is the
landscape. Take it on, and then you’re the one who
gets better.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You’ve been known to
give care when people need it, so they gravitate
to you for this time and again. You may think it’s
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
fine, as long as they also come to you when they’re
strong and ready to give back.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). When you clearly see
how a thing is wrong, you’ll speak to it. When you
don’t, why rush into a statement? You’ll align with
the qualities of stellar leadership by taking time to
form a thoughtful response.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You’ve handed
off a responsibility, necessarily so, and now you
may be having second thoughts. But if the stakes
aren’t too high, the best thing will be to let people
do what they can and learn from it.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Your hobbies and
entertainments are well within your budget, so
enjoy! As Henry David Thoreau said, “That man is
the richest whose pleasures are the cheapest.”
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Even the events that
seem to belong comfortably in a timeline with a be-
ginning and an end are actually part of an endless
continuum of actions and consequences. You’ll like
how this section of the circle plays out.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Ward against inter-
ruptions before they happen. The little distractions
may not seem like too much trouble to handle, but
the adjustments you have to make to get back into
your flow will take more time and energy than you
think.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (March 9). Love isn’t
the aim of your plan, but it’s what will make pursu-
ing your plan quite wonderful. The way you click
with a certain person makes a whole lot else go
smoothly. You’ll push yourself physically and/or in-
tellectually toward a difficult achievement. Play the
long game on this one. Good fortune will be tied to
ancestral guidance. Gemini and Sagittarius adore
you. Your lucky numbers are: 29, 34, 11, 38 and 15.